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* Posts by Jediben

322 posts • joined 6 Feb 2012

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Review: Asus PadFone 2 phone-tablet combo

Jediben
Unhappy

Re: Padfone Transformer

Of course, they would need to up the tablet quality to that of the Prime too, so the price might brush uncomfortably close to £1000.

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Jediben
Happy

Padfone Transformer

This. It's a damn shame they didn't have the phone dock at the top edge, and the keyboard dock on the bottom as with the Prime.

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'You can keep it' - Brit's nicked laptop turns up on Iranians' sofa

Jediben
Pint

Goddamn that's a lot of typing errors. I blame Friday.

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Jediben

Well that the laptop wa stolen is not in dispute, and the relative cost to the insurer for of recovery of said laptop may well exceed the cost of a replacement (although being an Apple product, a return flight to Iran might well end up cheaper!).

I don't think his insurer would stretch its resources as far as liasing with Iranian police forces to retrieve it.

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Jediben
FAIL

Re: Minor point

Oh if only he wasn't a British citizen and completely free of obligation to adhere to US laws...

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Card skimmers targeting more than ATMs, says EU

Jediben
Joke

Re: because everyone loves anecdotal evidence.

I know that my bank suggests I advise them when I'm leaving the country to avoid this sort of thing. They never accept the invitation to view my holiday snaps after though.

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Jediben
Big Brother

Time to get a hand on this

Literally. Thumb + forefinger print recognition along with a card and a PIN. Sadly it means we're going to be screwed over with feature creep etc ("I say Mr Chancellor, is that a big brown envelope you have there? would you like us to send this database anywhere special?") but the effort one would need to go to in order to fake it would virtually eliminate small scale shenanigans.

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Nvidia unveils Minority Report-style face-bot tech

Jediben
FAIL

It's all in the eyes

The skin textures, the pores, the elasticity of movement - all of these are exceptional in Ira. But the glassy, permanently dewy and overly reflective eyeballs sink it every time.

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Young model ruthlessly fingers upskirt iPad petshop pervert

Jediben
Joke

Re: Her Mutt

Any pictures of said mutt? Not to be confused with her growler of course...

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NASA chief: Earth is DOOMED if we spot a big asteroid at short notice

Jediben
Trollface

Not even as innocent at that - they're making up a number that theyhope will give the impression that while they do a VERY GOOD JOB with their current resources, there is still a measurable improvement (which is not an unreasonably large amount as to suggest they are not doing very well, but enough to make it worth investigating whether this improvement can be met) that could be gained if they receive MORE MONEY.

FUD 101 - suggest could be much worse if you weren't here, and even better if you pay me more, but completely theoretical and unproveable in all instances.

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Jediben
Devil

Re: Well, just don't look then

Ironic really, as digging very deep holes and learning how to survive in them would probably be our best shot at surviving the impact of such an asteroid which we are deliberately trying NOT to see!

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SanDisk cops to malfunctioning Micro SDs in Galaxy S3s

Jediben
Devil

Re: Seen it happen on a 64GB card

I hope he did - downsizing workers is meant to be a HR job.

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Build a BONKERS gaming PC

Jediben
FAIL

Monitor?

No point in spending so much money on a 'bonkers' (I have better) pc at home if you are going to plug is into a 21" cheapo monitor. Splash another grand on a 30" Dell fercryingoutloud.

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Samsung's new Galaxy S 4: iPhone assassin or Android also-ran?

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Its just a phone

Something like:

<Ring Ring... ring Ring..Ring>

"Hello?"

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Jediben
Trollface

Re: whopper

I've had plenty of practice using both hands, no worries there!

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New Apple TV may hint at Apple-Samsung divorce

Jediben
Thumb Up

Re: Lost interest after ATV 2nd gen

WD TV Live ftw. Works with Logitech Harmony remotes too!

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Congratulations, freetards: You are THE FIVE PER CENT

Jediben
Trollface

Thanks Andrew...

As a single white 30-something male with no dependants, kids or disabilities, paying my private rent without Government handouts, tax breaks or benefit allowance and working in an industry without any significant subsidies, it's about time I got recognised for being SOMETHING significant other than a tax cow, milked to support every minority group going.

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IT'S HERE: Seagate ships 'affordable' desktop hybrid drive

Jediben
WTF?

Too small

2TB was the storage of 2010. This is 2013, we demand 6TB+!

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Judge bins Apple's plea to slash $368m FaceTime patent damages

Jediben
Flame

"While evidence of past harm can be considered by the court, the court cannot engage in counterfactual thinking and determine what might have been,"

If only this judge was involved on all those RIAA/MAFIAA copyright infringement cases, we might have seen some sensible outcomes instead of multi-squillion damages!

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World+Dog don't care about climate change, never have done

Jediben
Devil

Re: Proof that capitalism has to be abandoned for the sake of the world.

Well the board of my two-berth submarine company is ambivalent about the situation.

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Apple patents situational awareness for oblivious fanbois

Jediben
Gimp

Apple says we know where you are...

And that's right where we want you.

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US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

Jediben
FAIL

Re: It's apparently possible to fall for a pig as long as it's branded Windows.

The article is funny, but you're not.

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Jediben
Holmes

Re: Or the fact that [Donald Duck's] last name is one letter up the alphabet from a rude word?

No, MUCK <gasp>.

It's a very dirty word.

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WTF is... IEEE 1905.1?

Jediben

Re: Errr.... DLNA?

'Shareable' displays between any device on any network if you like?

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Curiosity photographs mysterious metal object on Martian rock

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Wonderful

I agree. Is it a mere coincidence that the leader of the Catholic Church chooses this weekend to throw in the towel? The proof of life on other planets is now irrefutable, and all belief in humanity's special connection to God unsustainable. He's getting out before the mouth-breathers see these pics, look at all the donations they gave in church and then mumble "Hey, waitaminute..."

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Tennessee bloke quits job over satanic wage slip

Jediben
Holmes

Re: wrong number?

The MAFIAA and chums would disagree.

All true God-fearing Americans who love capitalism and the persuit of $$$ would suggest that Nero (Burning ROM) would be directly opposed to their ideals, allowing heathens to make EVIL ILLEGAL CURSED COMMIE COPIES of their intellectual property.

Ergo, Nero is still a huge threat to Christianity!

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Kids as young as FIVE need lessons in online safety - NSPCC

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Parents are the problem

Great story, just clarify one thing - she wasn't your girlfriend's OLDER sister, right?

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McDonalds burger app gives it to you straight from the horse's mouth

Jediben
Joke

Re: Beef

Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh!

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Anger grows over the death of Aaron Swartz

Jediben
Holmes

Re: Utterly wrong.

Oh hadn't you heard? Ever since a few kids claimed a dead guy fiddled with them in the 70s, everyone dead is guilty by default now...

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Broadband gov subsidy should end in 2015 -Tory think tank

Jediben
Thumb Up

Article is TL;DR

But I love the name of the report!

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Brazilian slammer guards nab mobe-smuggling CAT

Jediben
FAIL

After all that elaborate sellotaping

You'd have hoped for it to go purrfectly.

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Ubisoft probes sudden rash of hijack attacks on gamers' accounts

Jediben
Pirate

£30, security and your privacy is a small price to pay

To stay on the right side of a faint grey line!

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Apple supremo Tim Cook's pay packet SLASHED 99% in 2012

Jediben

Re: That's a lot of money...

Footballers are a particular bug-bear of mine, specifically their apparent immunity to criticism for performance compared to team managers. I don't understand a process whereby a player can be bought for X million, tied into a 3/4/5 year contract and perhaps not play more than 40% of the time (and perform poorly) but still be paid in full, slathered with sponsorship endorsements and generally worshipped, but a manager can be in a job for 9 games and get the sack within 2 months because the 11 players on the pitch were crap. The players still get to stay on though.

What's a suitable IT analogy? Buying windows 8 and installing it on a Dell PC but realising that you can't figure out how to make it playback your UEFA Champions Leage Highlights DVD. You throw it out.

Then you buy another PC from HP, install Windows 8 on it and get the same result.

Then you try installing it on a Compaq. Same again.

And then you tell your mates that all PCs are shit because they can't play DVDs...

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Feeling poor? WHO took all your money? NOT capitalist bastards?

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Baby Boomers

JimC, the generation BEFORE the boomers had been involved in a rather awkward little situation called World War II. I think it's a little harsh to suggest that they start coughing up taxes to pay for all the work they should have been doing instead of fighting off the Nazis invasion of Europe...

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Red-faced, sweating and still in your chair: Welcome to eSports

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Those huge arena events...

A university weekend LAN in Essex, with an attendance in only double figures, was more than enough to keep the 'dry roasted peanut' odour in the atmosphere. Not only do people smell after sitting at their pc for up to (let's be generous here) 8 hours, but working machines also smell.

PCs are not hermetically sealed boxes - dust gets sucked in, dislodged, blown around, PC components get hot, things start to smell - dead skin, hair, food, general heated stuff.

On top of that, consider the environments that these machines could have come from. No one runs their gaming PC in an airtight chamber, and not everyone has good habits. Even if only 5% of attendees are smokers, their PCs will still stink the place out as they heat up. Smokers make for foul PCs.

Maybe you ought to rein your neck in and get your own prejudices in check before having a hissy fit, huh?

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Jediben
Alert

Those huge arena events...

Never mind the skills on show, just imagine the smell...

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Dead Steve Jobs' mega yacht seized by testy Philippe Starck

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Always have contracts

He'd say something along the lines of "One born every minute".

Knowing the Jobsian bandwagon, Starck's design would be replaced by one slightly smaller which casts 10% more in 6 month's time anyway.

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Naked Scarlett Johansson pic snatch bloke gets 10 YEARS

Jediben

Re: 10 years.

Ahh Mr Reynolds, so nice of you to join us.

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Jediben
Pint

At this time of year...

...We remember a Man who thought nothing of his own freedom and instead sacrificed himself for the greater good of all mankind.

A man who looked inside, broke down barriers others thought insurmountable and revealed to all the true glory that we had all yearned for but never dared dream to experience.

Raise a glass to him.

Thank you Jesu...

WAIT WHAT?! SCARLETT'S JUBS?!? 10 YEARS?! <faints>

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Valve chief confirms Steam-centric console-killing PC

Jediben
Devil

Re: The crucial flaw in the cunning plan...

AAhhh the resident EA representative awakens.

HOW'S THINGS, EA? WILL ORIGIN BE IN MY LOUNGE ANYTIME SOON?

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Apple, Samsung patent judge: 'I feel like I'm in Groundhog Day here'

Jediben
Devil

Re: Anyone else

I agree, it almost seems that she doesn't want to make any decisions. Could it be because the onlyrational one is going to cost a US company a whole lot of wonga?

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Littlest pirate’s Winnie-the-Pooh laptop on the way home

Jediben

Re: €300

If Chisu was feeling like scoring a massive PR hit, she could re-imburse daddy for the trouble?

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Adobe demands 7,000 years a day from humankind

Jediben
Devil

Re: I remember

Blizzard do to same thing for the T&Cs for their various online-only games. And this was PRE-Activision!

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Ten technology FAILS

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Zip Drives?

I've just remembered that, while at university in 2001, I once took my housemate's Zip drive and 5 disks as payment instead of cash for a month's rent (I think).

I never found a use for it.

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Jediben
Trollface

Re: Blu Ray

Jason, I hate to admonish you for your choice of 'entertainment' (ahem), but - those aren't pores, they're herpes scars!

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El Reg Movember lads sprout mighty Unix beards for cancer charity

Jediben
Devil

Re: Great work raising the money...

I agree. Doctor's are clearly already at breaking point due to all the female patients having tests for anything and everything (thoroughly researched and evidence-based appointments only of course), and the threat of men actually making use of their services as well is a real problem.

I know that cancer research has a particular month of focus for each of the major cancers, but I'd never really noticed the men-only prostate and testicular cancers as receiving their fair share of public interest. A cursory glance at the telly clarifies why - Children in Need steals the thunder by taking place in November every year.

Why? the public prefer to give their money to kids rather than arseholes

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