* Posts by Jediben

397 posts • joined 6 Feb 2012

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Mac fans: You don't need Windows to get ripped off in tech support scams

Jediben
Trollface

I'd love to believe this article isn't a scam...

...But it's Apple so surely it just works?

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10

Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

Jediben

Re: Which is worse...

Those situations are not mutually exclusive! I've been in a situation where that woman was populating all available self-service machines simultaneously.

My take on the use of self service:

If you couldn't comfortably catch all the items you wish to purchase should they be thrown at you by irate staff, then you should sod off to a normal checkout. No trolleys!

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Jediben
Mushroom

Tesco are the worst

Their machines have been designed by complete retards and the UI is a shambles.

DO NOT GIVE ME FEEDBACK THAT YOU HAVE RECOGNISED MY TOUCH IF YOU THEN DO NOT RESPOND! You aren't my bloody girlfriend, that's her trick.

The number of times I have tapped the screen to use my card, or begin the shop and had the damn speaker perform the obligatory 'boop' sound, but then absolutely NOTHING occurs afterward is astounding. Repeated tapping will give you matching 'boops' but still no functionality. This is major fail.

The slowest part of this system once I've pressed 'finish and pay' should be ME getting my card from my wallet - not YOU printing my goddamn receipt or calculating Clubcard points either.

Worst of all is the restricted items. Invariably, the person who wishes to purchase that litre of Famous Grouse will also be purchasing 3 age-rated DVDs (in protective boxes), a set of steak knives and a blouse from the upstairs 'fashion' area, as well as a WHOLE TROLLEY of food. At the same time their 4 childen (who they have just picked up from school because supermarkets are the ideal location for such screaming shits, and doing the shopping BEFORE collecting them would be far too much effort) will do their best to 'help' their poor retard of a parent, who cannot locate the barcode on any item nor correctly identify a banana from an orange.

I have taken to utilising the newer 'scan and shop' facility for even the tiniest purchase. A hand held scanner and the threat of a 'random search' when buying a bag of crisps and a drink are minor inconveniences compared to queueing up for 'self-service' where 3 out of 8 checkouts are closed ("We haven't got enough staff" - Buh?!!) and of the 5 that remain open, one is for some reason "card only".

WTF? Why use the one that is card only when there are 3 others that are clearly functional but are just turned OFF?

I hate shopping.

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'200 million' fanbois using iOS 7 just a week after release - study

Jediben

No, it's more a matter of actually bothering to see what the release notes contain first, rather than

"Oooh iPhone says "Press to update"

<press>

"What did that just do?"

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Jediben
Gimp

Apple users 'mindlessly follow' their devices more (on average) so they are aware of the update and "slavishly accepted" the new features/look.

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Apple: Now that you've updated to iOS 7... YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK

Jediben
Holmes

And here I thought that the first word of the article's title would be clue enough...

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Shopping list for Tesco: Eggs, milk, bread, tablets (the £60 7in Android kind)

Jediben
Devil

Re: Mugs

I suspect that, much like the Archos 80 I bought for the missus last year, these things will be purchased and then rapidly relegated to being shoved in drawers or left under magazines while the BLOODY 4" iPHONE is used to do all the web browsing from the sofa.

SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE CHARGER IS! AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

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Ex-BT boss bags £9 MILLION bye-bye bundle, moves to key gov post

Jediben

Re: Good man.

Successful monopoly is successful. Troll like wise!

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Jediben
Trollface

Re: Wonder what remuneration committees for the members of that committee he sits on.

At least he will now have spare time to write some more Fighting Fantasy books!

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One of last few iPhone 5Ss STOLEN from within MASSIVE POLICE CORDON at Apple Store

Jediben

What an idiot

Desperate to advertise his ridiculously over-priced new purchase, he succeeded in only drawn admiration from a sticky fingered tea-leaf.

f course, he's set the phone up with his finger print reader, so it's completely locked down, right?....

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Fanbois shun 'crappy plastic' iPhone 5C

Jediben

Re: I for one welcome this new religion

"Applosians haven't been known to do that"

Real life begs to differ:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/06/20/danger_as_exploding_macbook_pro_battery_is_recalled/

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/03/01/apple_sued_for_exploding_ipod_touch/

Coolaid - you have too much of it.

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Microsoft's swipe'n'swirl pic passwords LESS secure than PINs, warn researchers

Jediben
Paris Hilton

Choose a picture Dozens of POIs

A tumblr collage from slimnbusty ought to do the trick!

Paris - because she might be among them.

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'Who knew in 1984 that Steve Jobs would be Big Brother?'

Jediben

Well they would say that, wouldn't they?

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David Attenborough warns that humans have stopped evolving

Jediben

Speak for yourself. In the West here, we are buff, ripped and physically supreme. Evolution doesn't "take good bits and leave out bad" - it's only once it has happened that you can see what the bad bits were. The good bits can become bad ones just as quickly.

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Virgin Media gives TiVo users access to Netflix

Jediben

I concur Phil W. We cancelled our Virgin Tivo service and took up a Netflix subscription, simply because the amount of time we had availabel meant we were very selective of what we actually watched. With Freeview/Freesat taking care of 'live' telly, the majority of output on these two services are substitutes for each other.

I can't see this being beneficial for Virgin to be honest.

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TV's goggle gaggle: EVERYBODY'S first with something at consumer tech feast

Jediben

Re: How do you measure curved TV size?

Presumably it's going to be marketed for multiplayer console gaming. I can't see his and hers TV viewing working very well, with him following a game of football and her trying to catch up with some soap opera, both in total silence.

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Billionaire Google founder splits with wife, allegedly beds Google Glass minx

Jediben

At least the kids will be taken care of, although they will probably wonder why their daddy is such a douche and grow up surrounded by material things that can never replace their dreams of a happy, complete family life. Who knows, maybe in ten years time they will be able to Google this article and cry to themselves at the rather limp innuendo.

Grow up, El Reg. This isn't tech news, this is life news - and it's not your life to talk about.

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Women in IT: ‘If you want to be taken seriously, dress like a man’

Jediben

Re: Quite sad...

You are Jason Thorne and I claim my £5!

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Tor usage up by more than 100% in August

Jediben
Joke

Re: Privacy enhanced comment

You are correct; Welsh is the best language for secrets.

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ISPs scramble to explain mouse-sniffing tool

Jediben
Devil

Re: Usefulness of the results?

I agree; for example they could assess the data, block your account and save me the trouble of having to click the downvote button at all!

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Star Wars revival secret: This isn't the celluloid you're looking for

Jediben
Headmaster

Re: I expect to be disappointed

"A long, long time ago...."

FIVE words.

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Probation officer gets TINY fine for spilling domestic violence victim's ADDRESS

Jediben
Stop

There isn't a perp - charges were dropped.

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Fear the JOBZILLA! 150ft STATUE of Steve planned 'lest fanbois forget'

Jediben
WTF?

Re: @ Anomalous Cowshed (was:A couple of comments and ideas)

He didn't try to charge you for use of his IP after, did he?

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Brits: We can STOP TROLLS if we know where they LIVE - poll

Jediben
Joke

Re: Right...

You tell 'em Homer. That said, we don't get it half as bad as cousin Jedibinladen...

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Elon Musk unveils Hyperloop – the subsonic tube of tomorrow

Jediben
Devil

Re: Fatal flaw, hyperloop is DOA

Never mind that bollocks, the first time an earthquake hits, the tube breaks up and a few hundred Americans are ejected at 400km/h into the desert.

On second thoughts...

A plan with no drawbacks. Carry on!

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Top execs off as Zynga's new CEO shaves 'layer' off senior ranks

Jediben
Joke

Probably filming a meeting.

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Netflix dares UK freetards: Watch new Breaking Bad NOW or torrent it?

Jediben
Devil

Turns out the NAS won. What an episode!

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Jediben
Devil

I've done that in practice. Well I assume so. I have Netflix, but I also have Couchpotato. It'll be a race! Will my NAS already have the episode labelled, correctly foldered and waiting to play in 1080p by the time I get home, or will I have to boot the TV into 'internet' mode?

Place your bets!

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Think your smutty Snapchats can't be saved by dorks? THINK AGAIN

Jediben
Joke

I make sure that my daughters don't take any tasteless pictures on their phones and send them to their schoolmates; we use the studio in the basement instead.

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Jediben

Re: More feminist bias

Oops I double negatived and changed tense. Never mind Here's a picture of my willy to distract you. After all, it's far more important that you know what my bits look like rather than what I do or act like in life.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mr_peanut.png

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Jediben
FAIL

More feminist bias

Why is it going to ruin girls' lives and not boys' huh? You don't think the world knowing I had a peanut dick isn't going to harm my reputation as a stud muffin?

Or do you mean my Ferrari and my Rolex and my 12 acre homestead and my chain of gymnasiums are already giving it away so the photo will do nothing?

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Cameron demands Brits BOYCOTT angry-troll-infested websites

Jediben
WTF?

Jesus just make a new account then. You can have unlimited accounts - the beauty and the problem with the internet is that you can exist in more than one account, and not all of those accounts have to be truthful and honest.

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UK plods cuff another bloke in Twitter violence threat probe

Jediben
Stop

Re: And?

Nasty man say things on twitter? Stop using Twitter/change account.

Nasty man say things on bus? Get off bus/change bus.

Don't ever think that getting nasty man thrown off the internet will stop nasty man, in the same way that getting nasty man thrown off the bus will stop him getting on the next one.

Sure the bus might have CCTV, but it's blurry and it was last week and you don't know if he's grown his hair or changed his clothers, so you had best just hope it doesn't happen again.

Sure the IP address might have been logged, but it's old and he might be using a proxy or have a different account now so you had best just hope it doesn't happen again.

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Oi, trolls, BEHAVE! Twitter tweaks rules to tackle abusive twits

Jediben

These women are asking for it

... by failing to comprehend that this is not a problem exclusive to women. This morning in a BBC interview, Mary Beard suggested that it was in someway a sexist, misogynistic issue and that Twitter should be taking steps to protect feminists.

This is bullshit.

Twitter should be taking steps to protect everyone. Everyone is exposed to commetns like this. Men as well as women. But thanks to the feminist lobbyists in the media, no one gives a monkey's about the abuse thrown at software developers as seen above.

While women like this focus solely on themselves as victims instead of PEOPLE as victims, then abuse will continue to target them. Learn your mistake and maybe the abuse will stop.

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Chubby-chasing SEX TROLLS ran me offline, says fashion blogger

Jediben

Re: Darwinism

Never under-estimate the levels of genetic quality men will accept. You could put a female walrus in a pair of jeggings and some knock off Pineapple dance tudio boob tube , and after a few cans some men would try to shag it.

This is why some women are able to get so fat that they find they can't conceive.

They should even be aware of that fact if men could control themselves.

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Buy a household 3D printer, it'll pay for itself in MONTHS!

Jediben

Re: Spoon holder...

I have one as well - it doubles as a used teabag.

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Plods probe death threat tweets to MP - but WHO will rid us of terrible trolls?

Jediben

Re: Alert Trolls Mum

I thought it was legally required that an MP's address be public knowledge, so that you know where they are standing from. That's why people get up in arms when MPs and councillors represent one constituency, but live miles outside of the area...

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Kids LIE about age on Facebook, gasps Brit ad watchdog

Jediben
FAIL

Re: Ask age related questions..

...make you look it up on Google.

You can't use 'knowledge' as evidence of age.

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PM writes ISPs' web filter ads for them - and it must say 'default on'

Jediben
Pint

Re: If you should implement such a system I will take my business else where.

Best Alan Partidge episode ever!

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Radiohead's Thom Yorke pulls his own music off Spotify

Jediben

Biting the hand...

Thom forgets that without some technology dudes in the middle, he would still be plucking on an acoustic six string in his garage. All the people that got his noise onto CDs and MP3s need paying as a result of HIS output because otherwise he'd have to sit at home burning copeis for his fans himself.

I hope he realises that just because you pay the piper and pick the tune, you don't own the concert hall or the CD replicator or the bandwidth. You want the big money, you NEED the big tech to distribute it.

Or is he saying he's fed up with having pots of cash to spend?

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US Navy robot stealth fighter in first unmanned carrier landings

Jediben
Terminator

Re: Very Nice.

They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't show pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop - EVER - until you are dead.

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Dead STEVE JOBS was a CROOK - Judge

Jediben

Rotten Apple

<eom>

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PRISM leaks: WTF, you don't spy on your friends, splutters EU

Jediben
Black Helicopters

Well I would post a comment...

But at this rate, they probably already know what I am going to say.

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Throwing arms let humans rise above poo-flinging apes to play CRICKET

Jediben

In memory of Eadon

Who says monkeys can't throw? Look at BALLMER and his chair!

MICROSOFT EPIC FAIL!

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How City IT is under attack from politicians, diesel bugs, HR

Jediben
Stop

"One of the larger transformer buildings in the heart of the City almost next to where the Stock Exchange servers live is surprisingly warm to the touch. Yes that’s a lot of power, and no I’m not saying where."

Please do say where, and contact your local distribution company to advise them. Electrical safety is very important and the distribution networks are massive. Don't fart about when public safety could be at risk.

If it's London, tell UK Power Networks - http://www.ukpowernetworks.co.uk/internet/en/contact-us/

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Trick-cyclist's claim: I have FOUND how to get GIRLS INTO TECH

Jediben
Trollface

Shut up and get off the internet, Mum.

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Telly psychics fail to foresee £12k fine for peddling nonsense

Jediben

<Rainier Wolfcastle> "On a bed of money, with many beautiful ladies."

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Jediben
Headmaster

Re: Astrology

You were correct - and it wasn't AstroNoMy either.

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Pirate Bay founder Warg jailed for two years for hacking and fraud

Jediben
Big Brother

Re: Finding Evidence ..

Hmm... restored or "restored"?

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Sony sucker-punches Xbox on price, specs, DRM-free gaming

Jediben
Holmes

Re: Waiting for "Kinect: PRISM"

Why not just turn the thing around so it's facing the telly and not you?

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