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* Posts by Jediben

318 posts • joined 6 Feb 2012

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Think your smutty Snapchats can't be saved by dorks? THINK AGAIN

Jediben
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Re: More feminist bias

Oops I double negatived and changed tense. Never mind Here's a picture of my willy to distract you. After all, it's far more important that you know what my bits look like rather than what I do or act like in life.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mr_peanut.png

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Jediben
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FAIL

More feminist bias

Why is it going to ruin girls' lives and not boys' huh? You don't think the world knowing I had a peanut dick isn't going to harm my reputation as a stud muffin?

Or do you mean my Ferrari and my Rolex and my 12 acre homestead and my chain of gymnasiums are already giving it away so the photo will do nothing?

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Cameron demands Brits BOYCOTT angry-troll-infested websites

Jediben
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WTF?

Jesus just make a new account then. You can have unlimited accounts - the beauty and the problem with the internet is that you can exist in more than one account, and not all of those accounts have to be truthful and honest.

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UK plods cuff another bloke in Twitter violence threat probe

Jediben
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Stop

Re: And?

Nasty man say things on twitter? Stop using Twitter/change account.

Nasty man say things on bus? Get off bus/change bus.

Don't ever think that getting nasty man thrown off the internet will stop nasty man, in the same way that getting nasty man thrown off the bus will stop him getting on the next one.

Sure the bus might have CCTV, but it's blurry and it was last week and you don't know if he's grown his hair or changed his clothers, so you had best just hope it doesn't happen again.

Sure the IP address might have been logged, but it's old and he might be using a proxy or have a different account now so you had best just hope it doesn't happen again.

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Oi, trolls, BEHAVE! Twitter tweaks rules to tackle abusive twits

Jediben
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These women are asking for it

... by failing to comprehend that this is not a problem exclusive to women. This morning in a BBC interview, Mary Beard suggested that it was in someway a sexist, misogynistic issue and that Twitter should be taking steps to protect feminists.

This is bullshit.

Twitter should be taking steps to protect everyone. Everyone is exposed to commetns like this. Men as well as women. But thanks to the feminist lobbyists in the media, no one gives a monkey's about the abuse thrown at software developers as seen above.

While women like this focus solely on themselves as victims instead of PEOPLE as victims, then abuse will continue to target them. Learn your mistake and maybe the abuse will stop.

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Chubby-chasing SEX TROLLS ran me offline, says fashion blogger

Jediben
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Re: Darwinism

Never under-estimate the levels of genetic quality men will accept. You could put a female walrus in a pair of jeggings and some knock off Pineapple dance tudio boob tube , and after a few cans some men would try to shag it.

This is why some women are able to get so fat that they find they can't conceive.

They should even be aware of that fact if men could control themselves.

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Buy a household 3D printer, it'll pay for itself in MONTHS!

Jediben
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Re: Spoon holder...

I have one as well - it doubles as a used teabag.

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Plods probe death threat tweets to MP - but WHO will rid us of terrible trolls?

Jediben
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Re: Alert Trolls Mum

I thought it was legally required that an MP's address be public knowledge, so that you know where they are standing from. That's why people get up in arms when MPs and councillors represent one constituency, but live miles outside of the area...

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Kids LIE about age on Facebook, gasps Brit ad watchdog

Jediben
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FAIL

Re: Ask age related questions..

...make you look it up on Google.

You can't use 'knowledge' as evidence of age.

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PM writes ISPs' web filter ads for them - and it must say 'default on'

Jediben
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Pint

Re: If you should implement such a system I will take my business else where.

Best Alan Partidge episode ever!

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Radiohead's Thom Yorke pulls his own music off Spotify

Jediben
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Biting the hand...

Thom forgets that without some technology dudes in the middle, he would still be plucking on an acoustic six string in his garage. All the people that got his noise onto CDs and MP3s need paying as a result of HIS output because otherwise he'd have to sit at home burning copeis for his fans himself.

I hope he realises that just because you pay the piper and pick the tune, you don't own the concert hall or the CD replicator or the bandwidth. You want the big money, you NEED the big tech to distribute it.

Or is he saying he's fed up with having pots of cash to spend?

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US Navy robot stealth fighter in first unmanned carrier landings

Jediben
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Terminator

Re: Very Nice.

They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't show pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop - EVER - until you are dead.

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Dead STEVE JOBS was a CROOK - Judge

Jediben
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Rotten Apple

<eom>

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PRISM leaks: WTF, you don't spy on your friends, splutters EU

Jediben
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Black Helicopters

Well I would post a comment...

But at this rate, they probably already know what I am going to say.

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Throwing arms let humans rise above poo-flinging apes to play CRICKET

Jediben
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In memory of Eadon

Who says monkeys can't throw? Look at BALLMER and his chair!

MICROSOFT EPIC FAIL!

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How City IT is under attack from politicians, diesel bugs, HR

Jediben
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Stop

"One of the larger transformer buildings in the heart of the City almost next to where the Stock Exchange servers live is surprisingly warm to the touch. Yes that’s a lot of power, and no I’m not saying where."

Please do say where, and contact your local distribution company to advise them. Electrical safety is very important and the distribution networks are massive. Don't fart about when public safety could be at risk.

If it's London, tell UK Power Networks - http://www.ukpowernetworks.co.uk/internet/en/contact-us/

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Trick-cyclist's claim: I have FOUND how to get GIRLS INTO TECH

Jediben
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Trollface

Shut up and get off the internet, Mum.

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Telly psychics fail to foresee £12k fine for peddling nonsense

Jediben
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<Rainier Wolfcastle> "On a bed of money, with many beautiful ladies."

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Jediben
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Headmaster

Re: Astrology

You were correct - and it wasn't AstroNoMy either.

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Pirate Bay founder Warg jailed for two years for hacking and fraud

Jediben
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Big Brother

Re: Finding Evidence ..

Hmm... restored or "restored"?

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Sony sucker-punches Xbox on price, specs, DRM-free gaming

Jediben
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Holmes

Re: Waiting for "Kinect: PRISM"

Why not just turn the thing around so it's facing the telly and not you?

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Whitehall grants freetards safe haven until 2015

Jediben
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FAIL

"Ofcom also confirms the minority are wealthy, middle class (ABC1) and under 34 years old. Quite why the Whitehall bureaucrat should rush to the defence of a banker in his Docklands penthouse who is downloading torrents 24x7 remains a mystery. Thanks to Whitehall, he's now a member of what is possibly the most pampered group in Britain."

Piss off.

Exactly how is being part of that minority group "pampered" - what is he getting from the powers that be because he's a wealthy (i.e paying his own way rather than taking state handouts) middle class (i.e not attempting to push out a full football team from his loins) under 34 year old (so no fuel allowance, TV licence discount, free bus pass for him) male that NO ONE else can get?

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All major UK ISPs prepping network-level porn 'n' violence filters

Jediben
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Joke

Re: "how to deal with age verification online"

"My daughter (still at school) got a happy 23rd birthday message from facebook. Some work still needed there then."

Now now, there's no shame in being older than your teacher. It's clearly the US education system at fault!

But may I recommend she read a book some time soon?

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BSkyB-owned BE slams into traffic pile-up over 'unlimited' broadband lie

Jediben
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WTF?

Re: Come on 150GB a month

Or between 7 and 12 major game releases in a month via Steam/Origin etc. Max Payne 3 was recently on sale at £4 a pop, and that weighs in at 35GB. 150 a month is not a massive amount of data at all.

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Reports: New Xbox could DOOM second-hand games market

Jediben
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Re: silly argument

Because Steam has this function built in. You add a game to a 'wishlist' and Steam emails you when any titles on the list are discounted.

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Paul Allen buys lovingly restored vintage V-2 Nazi ballistic missile

Jediben
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Joke

Re: Fired in Anger?

Perhaps it's a typo and he meant they were being launched from between Nantes and Le Mans?

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O2 brushed off outsourcing 'rumour' - but it's happening ... to THOUSANDS

Jediben
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Devil

Re: Outsourcing does not equal offshoring

"With over 11,000 employees and sixteen centres in the UK and offshore centres in India and Poland, Capita is one of the largest companies of its kind."

That doesn't mean anything. They could have 10,998 employees in 14 centres in India, and a bloke called Dave in Shrewsbury occasionally ringing Petr in Warsaw to make sure that he's not too lonely!

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Microsoft reveals Xbox One, the console that can read your heartbeat

Jediben
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WTF?

Re: Not looking too good

That's because Valve and Steam have sales with incredible regularity - games of a certain age are guaranteed to be sold at a price that reflects their actual value in these events, rather than the hugely inflated prices of the console games. Impulse purchases at £45 a pop don't happen, but at sub £10 Steam makes huge sales. That is why you don't hear Steam user complaints - if you wait long enough, it gets sold at a huge discount. This doesn't happen with 'new' (but ancient) console games.

When you pay less than £7 for a game in this event, you don't have to consider any lost 'resale' value due to the account-only feature inherent in Steam. I can count on my litle fingers the number of games I've been able to buy through Xbox Live for a similar price (and that was by exploiting a US site sale to get MGS 2+3 rather than Xbox uk).

If Live will emulate Steam with these sales is yet to be seen, but I'm going to guess that they won't.

That is why you don't hear Steam user complaints - if you wait long enough it gets sold at a huge discount.

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Petshop iPad fanboi charged with filming up young model's skirt

Jediben
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Trollface

Re: Unofficial CCTV

Plenty! Just have a flcik through my home movie collection!

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I said ‘no’ to a million-pound Tech City empire

Jediben
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Trollface

Re: Rent the floor...

S&M club then. Lingerie models on one side, ancient cobwebby stonework and old machinery on the other. Readily available London weirdos with disposable cash and suspect interests (i.e. politicos) and you will be quids in.

Plus you can set your IT skills to rigging up the hidden CCTV to keep the brown envelopes rolling in!

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Foxconn still flogging iWorkers, but more lightly

Jediben
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Meh

Re: Cloud cuckoo land

I think it's more likely that a vast readership of the Register don't have any first hand experience of the living conditions, working conditions, work ethics, socio-economic environment or cultural backdrop of mainland China, so passing judgement about such things might be deemed unsavoury?

We hear about the huge factories, kilometres in size, and it sounds ghastly.

How can you criticise someone who is forced to endure that environment out of necessity?

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Prankster 'Superhero' takes on robot traffic warden AND WINS

Jediben
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Trollface

Re: I think you'll also find...

And one does not simply WALK into Yate shopping centre.

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Things that cost the same as coffee with Tim Cook - and are WAY more fun

Jediben
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Re: Or...

No, I don't drink any coffee at all. Foul stuff.

Tea for me, unlimited volumes!

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Jediben
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Happy

Re: Or...

Ahhh an EXTRA 2 cups a day.

This makes sense now. As I partake only of tea, in constant supply without breaks, the idea of a measured serving of beverage is quite alien to me!

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Jediben
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WTF?

Re: Or...

Am I being thick here?

248980/2 = 124490 days with coffee

124490/365 = 341 years.

Where does 227 come from?

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Senators: You - Cook. Apple guy. Get in here and bring your tax books

Jediben
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FAIL

I guess corporations don't benefit from interest either, and this is a priviledge afforded only to individuals huh?

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Jediben
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Trollface

Next stop for the War on <your political agenda here>

The Cayman Islands. Pack your sunscreen, marines! Hoorah!

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Queen's Speech: 'Problem of matching IP addresses' to be probed

Jediben
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Devil

Re: The police are as bad

Or they have been dialling xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx to try to reach you at work.

When they got no reply they tried calling you at yyy.yyy.yyy.yyy in case you were at the office...

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Google Glass eye-cam to turn us all into right little winkers

Jediben
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Devil

Re: They're going to be banned in my house.

They'll just have to stand on the flowerbeds and peer in through the windows like the rest of us then.

I CAN SEE YOOOOOUUUU!

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Jediben
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Devil

Re: why should you go round filming people

And you'll have all the witness in the queue formed behind him as well.

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Reg boffins: Help us answer this Big Blue RAID data recovery poser

Jediben
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Coffee/keyboard

Genius.

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Apple fanbois get one last chance to see spectre of Steve Jobs

Jediben
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Angel

Re: fallacy of supply shortage

Ok, survey time:

Thumbs up if you tried to buy these tickets.

Thumbs down if you don't give a crap about it.

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Jediben
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Trollface

Creating the fallacy of supply shortage: Check

Choosing random sample and offering special treatment to drive the rapturous into paroxysms of joy: Check

Charging an arm and a leg for an uninspiring product or service: Check

Apple as usual, move along...

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Pirate Bay docks in Iceland

Jediben
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Devil

Re: I may have dreamed this...

But if that recent app is to believed, the gorgeous blondes are probably their cousins/sisters/worse.

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Review: Asus PadFone 2 phone-tablet combo

Jediben
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Unhappy

Re: Padfone Transformer

Of course, they would need to up the tablet quality to that of the Prime too, so the price might brush uncomfortably close to £1000.

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Jediben
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Happy

Padfone Transformer

This. It's a damn shame they didn't have the phone dock at the top edge, and the keyboard dock on the bottom as with the Prime.

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'You can keep it' - Brit's nicked laptop turns up on Iranians' sofa

Jediben
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Pint

Goddamn that's a lot of typing errors. I blame Friday.

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Jediben
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Well that the laptop wa stolen is not in dispute, and the relative cost to the insurer for of recovery of said laptop may well exceed the cost of a replacement (although being an Apple product, a return flight to Iran might well end up cheaper!).

I don't think his insurer would stretch its resources as far as liasing with Iranian police forces to retrieve it.

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