* Posts by Jediben

384 posts • joined 6 Feb 2012

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Small number of computer-aided rifles could be hacked in contrived scenario

Jediben

Clearly 'research' for the next terrible Tom Clancy-esque Hollywood adaptation, staring Channing Tatum as the expert covert ops sniper who is betrayed by his superiors into 'accidentally' (via the researched 'hack' of all things) assassinating the President of Africanistan (who actually turns out to have been a Russian plant who was trying to develop biological weapons with North Korean money) while the POTUS was visiting on a ground breaking trip to broker a weapons non-proliferation pact.

Mr Tatum will thusly pacify many many Africanistans and COMMIES in his hunt for justice, whereby the end scene will be Mr Tatum using an old fashioned Lee-Enfield to take out a fancy TrackingPoint Kit rifle owning sniper from 900 yards and protect the POTUS.

Then he will kill the evil 2nd in command of Africanistan (it was a double double cross!) with his Colt 45 and fly an AC130 away while the President acts as gunner, shooting the living shit out of many many technicals and freeing the people of Africanistan to live in Democracy (Woo!) and Freedom (Fuck yeah!) and do jobs for Huge US Conglomerates (USA! USA! USA!)

Box office gold, mate.

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Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'

Jediben

Re: Unfortunate timing

This is an entirely different police force in an entirely different country - or are you going to accuse the English of shooting unarmed black Americans on a weekly basis too?

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Jediben
Thumb Down

Re: Back in the late-seventies

Bell end.

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Bloke cuffed for blowing low-flying camera drone to bits with shotgun

Jediben

Re: Good on him

There is no evidence of any possibility of a violent confrontation from the report. The lack of violence can not be attributed to the presence of a hand gun. There is nothing to suggest that either party intended to be violent, bar the declaration that should the home owner's property boundary be breached would lead to the further discharge of a firearm.

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Jediben

Re: He should go free...

But when it comes to keeping illegals out of a tunnel you suddenly aren't so keen to chase anything, eh Jacques?

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Be wary of that Russian. He might HAMMERTOSS a software nasty at you

Jediben
Devil

So this malware is totally dependent on access to Twitter? Just as well, it might cause harm to real people otherwise!

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Let's all binge on Blake’s 7 and help save the BBC ... from itself

Jediben
Joke

Re: Go for it Beeb!

It's not often you get redundant double Ds, but as this example shows the Beeb isn't afraid to make a tit of itself.

Digital Digital Versatile Disc - streamed over the net. Doubly digital and not on a disc at all!

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Feel like you're being herded onto Windows 10? Well, you should

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Meanwhile.... [upvote for the nice troll commnet]

Seems you are illiterate as well, boyo!

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MORE Windows 10 bugs! Too many Start menu apps BREAK it

Jediben

Re: the 640k quote

Come on Jake, tell us the story about that time you and Bill were kayaking on Mars and you told him that his first suggestion of 320kb wasn't enough and that he should double it...

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Windows 10: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE to Microsoft's long apology for Windows 8

Jediben

Re: Cortana and Onedrive?

DX12 cards have been out for nearly a year... see Nvidia 9xx series....

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Today's smart home devices are too dumb to succeed

Jediben

Re: White light explained

Pwned!

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Reddit scrubs up: Child abuse? Gone. Drugs? Cool. RACISM? FINE

Jediben

Re: @Symon

Pah, leave them all quadraspazzed and on a life glug!

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Hey, Spotify! Why do you internet companies hate competition?

Jediben
Pirate

Re: Oh look...

Arr! Your whining an' bickerin' will count fer naught out in the real world! Revenue be walkin' the plank one way or another! Arr!!

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Jediben

Re: Photo choice

You're wrong, on two counts:

1. She isn't pretty.

2. Cleavage not deep enough.

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Trebles all round: The BBC's won this licence fee showdown

Jediben

Re: Good

...because it's terrible.

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Jediben

My VPN is relishing the thought of streaming iplayer programmes in spite.

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BT issues formal whinge to Ofcom over Sky dominance in pay telly

Jediben

Re: If GoT was on Netflix or similar

NowTV has GOT. Sorry mate :(

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The Empire Strikes Back: Disney tractor-beams StarWars.co.uk from Brit biz

Jediben

Nominee are a pack of thieves.

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LOGITECH - TECH = 'LOGI' ... that's non-Logitech tech, is it?

Jediben

Re: Now more people will get to feel the pain

I have found they have been the BEST product supporters in tech. Aftersales have been fantastic, providing replacement mouse feet free of charge and shipped at their cost. I also had a G5 mouse replaced with a newer model when they couldn't provide said feet any more. Their quality control is generally excellent as well.

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Lizard Squad kid bandit who did 50 THOUSAND HACKS dodges cooler stint

Jediben
Mushroom

Clearly the punishment does not fit the crime. Who fancies a lynch mob?

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Han Solo to get solo prequel flick in 2018, helmed by LEGO men

Jediben

Re: "[...] his methods for making the Kessel run in 12 parsecs."

I can sense a great disturbance in the Force... A Disney executive has just decided that the Kessel Run will be a race... A teenage Han Solo will be piloting the Falcon... for a Hutt crime lord... against a variety of aliens in similar vessels...

I am seeing... an annoying sidekick who constantly frustrates Chewbacca....

My god...

"MEEESA HERE MISTA SOLO, OKIDAY?!"

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Jediben
Joke

Re: That horse

It's a Bantha. And don't call me Shirley!

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We tried using Windows 10 for real work and ... oh, the horror

Jediben

Has anyone checked that games work yet? I genuinely don't care if the menu us fucked but if my steam catalogue is rendered useless then I am not going near it.

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Florida cops cuff open-carry, balls-out pirate packing 'operational' flintlocks

Jediben

Re: Much fuss over nothing?

Umm, so your mugger is attempting a mugging empty-handed in order to try to steal a weapon from a victim who is OPENLY carrying a gun, while he is actually legally allows to carry a firearm and could therefore have one to use anyway, to then steal the gun to use in a mugging against someone else who may or may not be openly carrying? I know criminals are stupid, but this must be a Floridian mugger.

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UK TV is getting worse as younglings shun the BBC et al, says Ofcom

Jediben

Re: Ever since I was little,

I don't understand why kids tv is even made any more. With the attention span and memory of children, with their whimsical attitude and relatively simple minds willing to grasp onto any catchphrase, pretty pattern or gibberish spluttering bipedal character going, added to 40 year's worth of back catalogue, there shouldn't be a need to introduce NEW stories or NEW characters.

Just re-run everything from the 70s and 80s and that's it sorted. The kids aren't going to critique the show, or wonder why Bagpuss moves in such a stop-motion effect. Bloody Philistines, the lot of 'em.

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Microsoft rushes out latest Windows 10 build. 300 fixes? Pff, whatever

Jediben
Joke

Re: Re. This sort of disingenuity is why a lot of us don't trust Microsoft.

Don't worry, Jake will be along in a minute to tell you which ones he owns and thus trusts implicitly.

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Microsoft: This Windows 10 build has 'NO significant known issues'

Jediben

Re: "Cortana works on one machine set to US English, but on the other set to UK English..."

...", she proclaims herself unavailable in the region and language you’ve selected”.

Sounds like my wife.

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Hacker plunders Plex, demands bitcoin payoff to avert FULL EXPOSURE

Jediben

Greece trying to make money any way it can!

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Courtney Love in the crossfire! Paris turns ugly over Uber

Jediben

Wrong. You keep the signs in place and plant a minefield underneath it.

If the law stats that acting as a taxi is illegal, those caught doing it should have said car crushed.

Whether the law is even realistic or appropriate (I don't think it is, protectionism like this is basically a Government approved cartel) is another matter entirely, but to fail to enforce it is just lame.

They should be letting illegals into 'sting' lorries at Calais and then driving them back to the Mediterranean as well, but apparently they have 'rights' which trump ours.

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BT: Let us scrap ordinary phone lines. You've all got great internet, right?

Jediben

Re: One big problem

Galaxy S5 super power saving mode can do 7 days on full charge.

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Jediben

Re: One big problem

Once a year? Is that not rare enough? I mean, if you eat roast beef eleven times in your life, one would hardly say that person constantly eats roast beef. No, it would be a rare, nay, freak occurrence.

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Jediben

Re: One big problem

You're getting mugged mate. VM sell 152Mbit for £32/m.

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Gaming's favourite fly by night. Batman: Arkham Knight reviewed

Jediben
Joke

Re: Screens?

Those aren't screens - it's gameplay VIDEO from the PC version!

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Science teacher jammed his school kids' phones, gets week suspension

Jediben

Re: Just give them an 'F'

Natural selection is gone, we've had to come up with alternatives. The curse of science is the perpetuity of the feckless.

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Bethesda all out for 'Fallout 4', fallout for global productivity foretold in countdown

Jediben

Re: And......

5 - Time traveller/Clone/Amnesiac former President

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Jediben

Well it seems they are still flogging Gamebryo within a nanometre of its placental integrity. Bethesda should change their motto to "Why Try Harder?".

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Jediben

But Gamebryo is an abomination and always appears to have been born 8 months prematurely.

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What an eyeful: Apple's cut price 27in iMac with Retina Display

Jediben

Re: 5K?

Umm the number of horizontal lines and the number of vertical pixels are the same thing? There are 1080 horizontal lines of pixels in a 1920x1080 display, ergo there are 1080 pixels in a single vertical plane of alignment with one another...

I presume you mean the number of HORIZONTAL pixels in each horizontal line?

The 4K misnomer was just some shitty rounding of 3840 to the nearest thousand which, yes, was horizontal pixel count bollocks.

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Wi-Fi was MEANT to be this way: Antennas and standards, 802.11 style

Jediben

Re: I am a ham radioist

I have 5 of the buggers on my wiring, and I recommend them to everyone I meet. There is nothing as satisfying as a technology that works invisibly and on existing infrastructure - and interfering with another is the icing on the cake!

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Struggling Nvidia says it may pay up to $125m to shutter Icera modem biz

Jediben

2016? 2015 here mate.

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Tesla Powerwall: not much cheaper and also a bit wimpier than existing batteries

Jediben

Re: intermittent vs continuous demand

The UK Power Networks install is 6MW.

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DRM is NOT THE LAW, I AM THE LAW, says JUDGE DREDD

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Good news

But Orlowski is a member of staff isn't he? You're paying him to be here ferchristsakes!

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Apple Watch RIPPED APART, its GUTS EXPOSED to hungry Vultures

Jediben

Re: Rolex

If you can afford £10k on an Apple Watch, you can afford multiple Rolexs (and will buy them) as well. Rolex have NOTHING to worry about.

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Frontier promises it won't 'dumb down' Elite: Dangerous for Xbox

Jediben

Who cares!? Sitting ducks are more fun!

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PENGUINS are just TASTELESS, say boffins

Jediben

Re: Penguins aren't tasteless, not at all.

Brilliant :)

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The Order: 1886 – Round Table gaming's all right on the knight

Jediben

"The Order: 1886's gameplay mechanics depend heavily on cutscenes and quick time events (QTEs). When mixed with combat, I found these surprisingly enjoyable and exciting. This may be controversial, but I wish more games had them...."

BURN THE HERETIC!

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Elite: Dangerous 'billionaire' gamers are being 'antisocial', moan players

Jediben

Re: It really is a vocal minority

You've got the download (duh) and paintjobs - it's the green/white/black 'Mercenary' skin for the Cobra. Guess you will have to save up to use it if you didn't get the Explorer starter kit though! I also think there were some other skins for the Viper. The digital player guide could be the manual which was released last week (hey, no one said it was exclusive), so only the art book is a wash. I'll agree that you didn't get any extras added since then, but what on earth did you expect it to be - a custom bobblehead?.

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Jediben

Re: Just like real life then?

Time. You can only fly one route at a time. You can only haul one full cargo bay at a time. You could never manipulate the system alone, as even the most feverish work could be undone by 4 players carrying a quarter load in the opposite direction.

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Lonely this Xmas? Nerds, n00bs and no-hopers' guide to dating apps, Pt.1

Jediben
Joke

I used to think reading comments about Linux made me feel most like a stranger in a strange land, but now these gay apps have really made me feel all queer.

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