* Posts by Measurer

135 posts • joined 27 Jan 2012

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Boffins celebrate 30th anniversary of first deep examination of Uranus

Measurer

Re: Headlines

Wouldn't that be 'the wobble in the orbit of Uranus is caused by the approach of Mirod, once every 10,000 years'.

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Samsung Gear VR is good. So good 2016 could be year virtual reality finally makes it

Measurer

So...

Will 2018 be the year of Linux on the headset?

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In-a-spin Home Sec: 'We won't be rifling through people's web history'

Measurer

Re: face it.

Gasp... You mean the world of Google!

We're already there, it's just if Google know your dirty little online secrets, they'll just try to sell more of it to you, until heart failure or friction burns kill you. They won't be holier than thou about it.

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Nippy, palaver and cockwomble: Greatest words in English?

Measurer

Re: Best cockwomble definition I've seen

Everyone knows that the opposite of a womble is a flump, therefore...

Pussyflump

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Measurer

Re: Flaphammock wins my vote!

and of course Flangebasket, or Gunt.

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Measurer

It's not very nice, but

I can't claim credit for this one, that honour lies with a certain landlord of westcountry pubs I know (and rugby player), but I cannot but bow to the incredible talent which invented...

'GUNT'

To describe those ladies, who for whatever reason, have blurred the physical boundary between their tummies and what lies beneath, into one amorphous blob.

The brevity and yet extreme adjectivity(?) of this four letter word has left many a seasoned drinker, rugby player, bon viveur etc. stunned by its elegance. Hats off to you Mr G.

Was gonna call my band 'bollard' years ago. Nice word.

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Measurer

Re: From Aunty Beeb

Would Uniquench be better?

Anyway although its another compound word, 'FLANGEBASKET'!

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Measurer

Re: More words

Let me guess..

Defenestration = Army lumberjacks?

Transmogrification = Making a cat happier through dubious means?

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Measurer

Here's one

Flaphammock was invented by a friend of mine years ago, upon me finding a pair of ladies undies in the corner of his lounge.

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Microsoft, Google scramble to COLONISE INDIA

Measurer
Joke

Re: Free lunch

Ooh, free lunch for the Indians? Make it an 'English' with a side order of buttered rolls.

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WATER SURPRISE: Liquid found on Mars, says NASA

Measurer
Pint

Whither Briny liquid?

If the Martians are anything like I used to be, copious amounts of 'briny liquid' were produced on a Monday morning after a heavy weekend. Maybe its just bad sewerage?

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'We can handle politicos, OUR ISSUE IS JUDGES', shout GCHQ docs

Measurer
Mushroom

Re: QUESTION: If you were in charge of the country,

Yes.

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Measurer

Re: QUESTION: If you were in charge of the country,

EMP over Cheltenham.

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NEW ERA for HUMANITY? NASA says something 'major' FOUND ON MARS

Measurer

Alien Talent

Curiosity has discovered that Simon Cowell is there doing 'Space X Factor' (geddit?). Elvis didn't get through the first round.

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SPACE WHISKY: Astro malt pongs of 'rubber and smoked fish'

Measurer

In space, no-one can hear you giggle uncontrollably and fall down (or in my case on whisky, get a bit punchy)...

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Astroboffins EYEBALL 13 BEELLION-year-old galaxy far, far, farthest away from Earth

Measurer

Re: The usual definition of "observable Universe" includes being observable.

Is my oil filler cap down there as well, frickin black holes!

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Samsung smart fridge leaves Gmail logins open to attack

Measurer

Re: IoT crazy

Ooohhh.... Windows calls it the 'Recycle Bin'. Never do a restore!

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Measurer

Re: IoT crazy

The man from Del-Monte may have found that usefule

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Boffins dump the fluids to build solid state lithium battery

Measurer

Phrase envy!

Most of us can only dream of being able to say, in all seriousness, in a room full of our peers, and I'm sure while staring into the middle distance whilst assuming a hands on hip stance....

"That paradigm has been overthrown."

Who said boffins can't do drama

AWESOME!

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It's 2015, and someone can pwn Windows PCs by inserting a USB stick

Measurer
Joke

Re: I suggest

I'm an instantiated object...

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Intel left a fascinating security flaw in its chips for 16 years – here's how to exploit it

Measurer
Holmes

Re: Re. NSA

Never leave an input floating! Either pull it to a defined voltage via a suitable resistor, or KNOW that internally its been done.

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Measurer

Genuine question!

Back in the dim and distant, when I was messing with Z80 CPU dev kits with PIO's for my HNC, the PIO control registers (to generate NMI's on particular input combinations etc.), were at fixed addresses and not mapped (or remappable) to memory locations. I realise I'm comparing a dingy to a supertanker, but why on a Pentium class CPU is the APIC control register mapped to memory and not at some hard coded address which is off limits to anything other than the SMM?

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Big, ugly, heavy laptops are surprise PC sales sweet spot

Measurer

CAD Portability

AT a previous employer, the CAD engineers were upgrading to hefty (Dell I think) certified laptops back in 2006 ish. The ability to actually model on the fly (as opposed to just review lightweight cad models) when at a customers / suppliers site, or when on the shop floor and engineers are looking at how prototype assemblies are going together is a massive benefit to any company.

You don't need the internet to do truly effective 'collaborative' development, if you have the tools at your fingertips and are prepared to travel and sit down with stakeholders to get the job done effectively.

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FireEye intern nailed in Darkode downfall was VXer, say the Feds

Measurer

....and in other news

Quis custodiet ipsos custodies

Self perpetuating industry

Yawn...

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Five lightweight Linux desktop worlds for extreme open-sourcers

Measurer

Re: I'm with you

My P.C is coming up to its 10 year anniversary:

AMD X4200 (64bit, 2 x core)

1GB RAM

Parallel ATA 80GB hard drive (Mint Mate)

SATA 80GB (Win XP)

2 x Nvidia 6600 GT in SLI config

I've just upgraded from Mint Mate 17.1 to 17.2 and it flies along on bootup (grub menu to logon screen in 2/3 the time of my XP installation installed on a separate SATA drive). Running Compiz etc. presents no problems, overall really slick for everything other than gaming.

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Evil NSA runs on saintly Linux, Apache, MySQL

Measurer
Black Helicopters

Sshhh...

Mr Torvalds has

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It's all downhill from here: Avalanche spins STT-RAM

Measurer
Facepalm

Oh great...

Instant resume from power down, straight back to that pron (or insert sensitive data) you weren't surfing! There are advantages to volatile memory.

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Microsoft picks up shotgun, walks 'Modern apps' behind the shed

Measurer

I'd be happy...

If they could get the desktop app. to shut down elegantly when you shutdown windows (7 that is).

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It's 2015 and hackers can hijack your Windows PC if you watch a web video

Measurer

Up vote for use of the term 'cum-puddle'!

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Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence

Measurer

Re: Hmm...

Builder: ...and what are you planning on flying off the flight deck to determine when the flood is receding. If it's one of those bloody expensive VSTOL doves then I'll have to add a ski jump....

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Boeing 787 software bug can shut down planes' generators IN FLIGHT

Measurer

Airbus definition of 'fail safe'....

...was obviously not pilfered by the NSA, via the German Security Service. The yanks do not know what 'fail safe' means, as I have repeatedly been reminded of every time I speak to a U.S engineer about safety systems on machinery.

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Big Blue boffins claim quantum computing measurement leap

Measurer

Re: Somethings in there....

Or a superposition of the two? My head hurts.....

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Measurer

Somethings in there....

Sounds like a budgie's got in their box, and is definitely alive (therefore the cat must be dead).

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RADIOACTIVE WWII aircraft carrier FOUND OFF CALIFORNIA

Measurer

That's it...

This James Delgado's got a great job, consisting of:

1. A Government department sinks something in the Pacific, without recording where they did it.

2. A period of time later a different Government department declares that these vessels are historic.

3. James Delgado and his chums get a nice big boat with lots of toys to play with for a period of time, in order to find these self declared 'historic' relics.

What is the point?

Am I being just a wee bit too cynical.....

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NASA probe sent to faraway planet finds DWARF world instead: Pics

Measurer

Lets hope that none of Clyde's ashes find their way into the dust analyser by accident, eh....

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Bloke hits armadillo AND mother-in-law with single 9mm round

Measurer
Mushroom

Insufficient Ordnance!

Surprised he didn't go straight for the Hellfire missile, wot he bought down the local hardware store.

Georgia is now at DEFCON 1, ready for MAD (Massive Armadillo Destruction)!

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Smart meters are a ‘costly mistake’ that'll add BILLIONS to bills

Measurer

Re: short term benefit

ALL HAIL THE SPARKY.... FROM ANOTHER SPARKY!

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Vodafone: So what exactly is 'ludicrous' about the Frontier report?

Measurer
Pint

Two words....

Hollow curbstones

End

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HOLY SEA SNAILS! Their TEETH are strong enough to build a plane

Measurer
Pint

'Drawing on nature for effective designs is apparently known as "bioinspiration".'

The number of good ideas I've had whilst in the pub leads me to coin the term "beerinspiration"!

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Did rock-hard aliens turn young Earth MOIST? New probe data emerges

Measurer

Re: Distilled

Why is it that these bloody canned statements always leave out the obvious, like 'what's different about this test subject (the comet) and the premise we are trying to prove (4 billion years ago, comets like the test subject brought water to Earth). Most people would be stunned if the chemical composition (deuterium to H2O ratio) of this comet remained constant over its 4 billion year life! If there is an argument to say that the current chemical composition of this comet should be identical to what it was like 4 billion years ago, then STATE THAT in the report!

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Wireless Power standards are like Highlanders: There can be only ONE

Measurer

Hazard!

Although clearly tuned to different frequencies, I wouldn't want my wireless charging phone to be in the vicinity of my induction hob when hob turned to 11, as some current will be induced in the receiver coil of the phone etc. (depending on Q value of tuned circuits etc.).

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Slapnav: Looking for KINKY dark matter? Switch on the GPS!

Measurer
Headmaster

Sorry, but....

'Our Solar System circles that centre of the galaxy at around 483,000 miles per hour (774 km/h), dragging the planets with it'

km/h out by a factor of 1000.

More to the point, how many frickin' double decker busses per hour, or even per second?

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THERE it is! Philae comet lander FOUND in EXISTING Rosetta PICS

Measurer

Re: Wait!

If Cliff is up there, obviously the Shadows!

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Are MPs smarter than 5-year-olds? We'll soon find out at coding school – Berners-Lee

Measurer
Joke

There are analogies which MP's may understand.....

Event Driven System = Reactive to latest opinion poll

Encapsulation = 'Do my bidding minion, I don't care how'

Pre-emptive = Excuses for failure already formulated

Multitasking = Multiple government departments doing the same job

Firewall = Who gets into the Westminser 'bubble'

etc.

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ROGUE SAIL BOAT blocks SPACE STATION PODULE blastoff

Measurer

Re: No Range safety boats?

Wouldn't be Lulworth would it?

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Intel's SECRET Xeons: tell us what you think Chipzilla's hiding

Measurer

Itanium hardware emulation version?

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SMELL YOU LATER, LOSERS – Dumbo tells rats, dogs... humans

Measurer
Pint

Re: ... a mammoth 2,000 olfactory receptor genes, ..."

Not a football supporter. If you've ever noticed on news reports, it takes at least 100 football supporters in a tightly packed group before one of them has enough courage to throw the obligatory plastic chair at the police or opposing teams supporters. How they think their puny 3m (1 trunk) lob will reach its target when the 'enemy' are 100m away is anyones guess.

I'd love to see St Bernards replaced with elephants, with a rather large barrel of something slung under their chins to revive the avalanche victim!

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YOU - NASA. Enough with the ROBOTS, get some PEOPLE to MARS

Measurer

'So what's getting in the way of landing the stars and stripes on another planet? It's the economy, stupid.'

No, as Elon Musk is proving, its the leaches who see the NASA budget as a gravy train.

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Look out, FCC: R.E.M., Aerosmith, Jello Biafra, 57 others join net neutrality crusade

Measurer

I'm really Losing my Religion over this one! Where's Henry Rollins when you want some heads banging together (to Mike Watt playing a funky baseline in the background).

RIP D. Boon

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Robins' inbuilt navigators pecked to bits by AM radio

Measurer
Joke

Robin, take me home....

So if I hang a Robin up by a piece of string, or float one, would it make a rudimentary compass? Does Bear Grylls know about this one?

Only joking, I love the little red breasted blighters!

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