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* Posts by Anonymous C0ward

313 posts • joined 24 Jan 2012

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Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM

Anonymous C0ward

doesn't properly

They accidentally the WHOLE user acceptance testing.

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Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)

Anonymous C0ward

Year's supply, my arse

They'll need to deliver it by the truckload.

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Tell us about your first time ... on the internet

Anonymous C0ward

First time ever

was as a kid in a cybercafe (back when those were a thing) for half an hour at a time. First time at home was when me and my dad installed an internal modem dug out of a box of random parts (turned out to be something silly like 9600) and signed up using a Freeserve CD.

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Be nice to the public, PC Plod. Especially if you're trying to stop terrorists

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Toblerone & Cuckoo Clocks.

Stopped them taking ammo? What good is the gun without ammo?

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FBI: Your real SECURITY TERROR? An ANGRY INSIDE MAN

Anonymous C0ward

Re: How about the pointy haired boss

Might be sooner than you think with this Bash flaw.

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Anonymous C0ward

And probably wide open to getting busted if they ever do an audit.

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Brit telcos warn Scots that voting Yes could lead to HEFTY bills

Anonymous C0ward

Re: @Pax681

"What have you got that we need to hang on to?"

North Sea oil?

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Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer

Anonymous C0ward

They chose not to create an app market or a media rental service

Good. The world needs another one of those like a hole in the head.

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iPHONEY: Fake iPhone 6 images splattered over Chinese internet

Anonymous C0ward

Re: You just wonder

Snowden leaked it?

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O2 breathes life into Amazon Fire: Mobe to hit Blighty in WEEKS

Anonymous C0ward

More expensive than an S5? They can go hang. Also, "one-handed gestures", fnar.

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Twitter: La la la, we haven't heard of NUDE JLaw, Upton SELFIES

Anonymous C0ward

Rapidshare/Mediafire links

Pleeeeeease?

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Carbon tetrachloride releases still too high, says NASA

Anonymous C0ward
Pint

Chemicals that trash your liver

In for a penny, in for a pound. -->

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Don't even THINK about copyright violation, says Indian state

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Goondas?

I thought they were a kind of enemy in Super Mario.

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Anonymous C0ward

Re: I want to know...

Kerb-crawling?

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Google's too-smart-for-own-good Nest Protect alarm is back on sale

Anonymous C0ward

Re: "making random hand gestures could sometimes switch the alarms off"

What does it do if you show it a middle finger? Or the "wanker" sign?

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Today's get-rich-quick scheme: Build your own bank

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Sounds like Paypal....

PayPal even do debit cards.

https://www.paypal.com/uk/webapps/mpp/accesscard

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Ukrainian teen created in lab passes Turing Test – famous nutty prof

Anonymous C0ward

This might be the first time a machine has passed it

But how many times has a human failed it?

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128-bit crypto scheme allegedly cracked in two hours

Anonymous C0ward

Re: And the obvious error in that sentence is ...

But do they sh*t in the woods?

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Apple files patent for typo-sensing buttons

Anonymous C0ward

Sorry Dave.

I can't let you do that.

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The amazing .uk domain: Less .co and loads more whalesong

Anonymous C0ward

fc.uk/this

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Returning a laptop to PC World ruined this bloke's credit score. Today the Supreme Court ended his 15-year nightmare

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Greedy

A lump sum isn't everything. He also needed the black mark to be removed and the credit agreement to be cancelled. Was this included in the first offer?

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Passport PIN tech could have SAVED MH370 ID fraudsters

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Lost or stolen (or dead)

I think the executor is meant to send back the dead person's passport.

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Anonymous C0ward

Re: Getting through Airport Security

As a British person re-entering Britain, I observed that the manual passport control was faster than the electronic one.

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French novel falls foul of Apple's breast inspectors

Anonymous C0ward

Nothing wrong with boobs

I mean, the first time I saw them was the day I was born!

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Psssst. Don't tell the Bride, but BBC Three is about to be jilted

Anonymous C0ward
Paris Hilton

Re: really?

As long as they used protection.

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Microsoft to get in XP users' faces with one last warning

Anonymous C0ward

Re: XP Activation

Use the volume edition with a pilfered-but-genuine key.

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Cable thieves hang up on BT, cause MAJOR outage

Anonymous C0ward
Alert

Where are they going to find an easily portable 250kW power source?

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Anonymous C0ward

Re: Damn thieves

And putting some high voltage cables in the bundle with the rest, for extra Darwin value.

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California takes a shot at mobile 'killswitch' mandate

Anonymous C0ward

For smartphones, remote wipe already exists. Any phone can be blocked by the operators. What exactly is this?

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El Reg BuzzFelch: 10 Electrical Connectors You CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Sarcasm is the highest form of humour

F*cking hell, Maddox is still around?

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Developers: Behold the bug NOBODY can fix

Anonymous C0ward

Couldn't people look up the correct words on Google Translate before they get inked? Or is that exactly what they're doing?

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Anonymous C0ward

Does it serve Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters?

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Candy Crush dev stuffs EU 'candy' trademark down gob

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Prior use of the term.

Or use a hack, that gives you unlimited washes and bonus stain remover.

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UK IT supplier placed on ASA naughty step over 'misleading' HDD ad

Anonymous C0ward

That would be an ecumenical matter.

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Anonymous C0ward

Re: Oh his claims are true alright

Were they clean of the previous owner's data?

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Candy Crush King went 'too far' when it candy crushed my app – dev

Anonymous C0ward
Paris Hilton

Next they'll be suing any number of porn stars and strippers.

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EE BrightBox routers can be hacked 'by simple copy/paste operation'

Anonymous C0ward
Coat

Re: Telecom Italia had such junk before...

Are they as bad as Powergen Italia?

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Mountain bike mishap man suffers SEVEN WEEK stiffie

Anonymous C0ward
Paris Hilton

"fistulous communication"

Fnarr.

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Even 'Your computer has a virus' cold-call gits are migrating off XP

Anonymous C0ward

Re: They seem to have stopped calling me

And can you read out the message that popped up on your screen please Sir?

Yeah, it says "(C)1982 Sinclair Research Ltd."

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Pay-by-bonk on the blink: O2 loses Wallet

Anonymous C0ward

Pay by bonk

Good moaning, I have sod news...

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Pervy TOILET CAMERA disguised as 'flash drive' sparks BOMB SCARE on Boeing 767

Anonymous C0ward

Re: "canine assistant (dog)"

Such terror, many inconvenient.

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Anonymous C0ward

Re: Flash Drive Terrorism

I don't think so, he'd need more gore and hentai for that.

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Microsoft tries to trademark 'Mod' in the US

Anonymous C0ward

People try to put them down...

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Gift-giving gotchas: How to avoid Xmas morning EMBARRASSMENT

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Rechargables

But bulk/discount batteries often also suck donkey balls.

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Feminist Software Foundation gets grumpy with GitHub … or does it?

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Brogrammers

What is a "brogrammer" as distinct from anything else? There are arseholes in every profession, some are men and some are women.

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Oi, bank manager. Only you've got my email address - where're these TROJANS coming from?

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Another possibility

Take it as a compliment.

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Facebook to BLAST the web with AUTO-PLAYING VIDEO ads

Anonymous C0ward

Re: allow a whole load of Google related ads through as exceptions

Then untick the box, and have a look through the additional filter lists on ABP's website.

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Amazon's non-existent drone delivery army ALREADY P0WNED

Anonymous C0ward

Can the Parrot's wireless network

be set to use WPA2 with a strong password?

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Women crap at parking: Official

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Parking Rant

Did they also count the percentage of all trolley users that were women? Otherwise that 82% doesn't mean much.

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Got a NAKED Jelly Bean Samsung S4 or HTC One? Maybe it's time for a KitKat

Anonymous C0ward

Re: No update on Galaxy Nexus

Plenty of unofficial ports on XDA, but there are bugs.

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