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* Posts by Richard Altmann

77 posts • joined 19 Jan 2012

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France bans managers from contacting workers outside business hours

Richard Altmann

tied to their employer whether they like it or not,

you chose the wrong life ... Go back to start or continue to be a slave, looser

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Internet is a TOOL OF SATAN that destroys belief, study claims

Richard Altmann
Devil

OMG!

"the number of people citing no religious belief increased from 8 to 18 per cent between 1990 and 2010"

So, if one looks linear, it will take another ~ 200 years for mankind to overcome the worst desease that ever befelt it. At that time waterlevels will have risen to catastrophic heights, due to a popular religion (Treehuggers). Resulting in the launch of Noah´s Ark 2.0 and it all starts over again. We are trapped in a hamster wheel!

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Driver drama delays deep desert XP upgrade

Richard Altmann

Re: That´s the Spirit ...

Mate, i´ve been to Lagos around this time as well. 300 workstation internet cafés packed with 419 scammers and every 15 mins or so one of the guys hit "Bingo". It was Clondyke River all over again. A home and shoes for the kids. Not provided by some gooddoing NGO´s but by outsmarting greedy first world c*unts. It was lovely

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Richard Altmann
Pint

That´s the Spirit ...

of bringing IT into the remote areas of the world!

Reminds me of going to Karamoja (Northern Uganda) to set up a training center.

It was the Win2k times on PII boxes. Traveling in a battered Land Rover with all the gear inside and few hundred liters of fuel plus the gen set on the roof. We were delayed by three hours cause this bloody lion decided to take a nap in the middle of the road (for better words) and no AC. The Lucent Technologies 5Mb cards worked a treat but it took 3 days to get the f****ng sat com going. Couldn´t leave the hut at night due to roaming hyenas. The spider was a brown widow and the resulting necrosis from the bites could only be treated some days later. Looks like shrapnel wounds. The exchange rate in the pub was one AK47 bullet for a beer. It still is. The training center was scorched by rebels.

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LOHAN's Punch and Judy show is GO for Saturday

Richard Altmann

godspeed

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Huawei rakes in £2 BEEELLION in profits

Richard Altmann

Re: NSA and GCHQ - HuaWei's ...

I am just now charging my Ascend P6 for the first time.

It was smooth sailing with Nokia for more than a decade but one has to draw a line.

Now i´m looking for a non Yank OS to get rid of Google. Tips anyone?

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BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

Richard Altmann

the reason to wear a belt

Leatherman, MagLite

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Icahn and I will: Carl's war on eBay goes NUCLEAR over Skype

Richard Altmann

Quis custodit custodes

Respect, Mr. Icahn. You are taking your rights as a shareholder serious and have real questions for the board. Shareholders are the ones who own the company and it is their responsibility to audit the board. Why should wazisname get away with sinking 700 mio? With shareholders taking more responsibility a lot more of this incompetent or even criminal behaviours would come to daylight.

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Bill Gates is BACK... as CHIEF RICH human of PLANET EARTH

Richard Altmann

Polio

Apart from almost single handly erradicating Polio YOU NUMB!!!

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Pine trees' scent 'could prevent climate change really being a problem'

Richard Altmann
Mushroom

Arctis

Well, that thing and a great deal of Tundra Perma Frost just melted away while the Athmosphere did not heat up "The last 15 years or so"?

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Linux-friendly Munich: Ja, we'll take open source collab cloud

Richard Altmann

Re: So forward looking in Munich

Mate, you wouldn´t want to live in a (small) City where 50% of native inhabitants suffer of Tourette - Syndrom. Libre Office or not. They should have a border. 50m high and backfilled with concrete.

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Richard Altmann

Vorsprung durch Technik

would be Ingolstadt

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Angela Merkel: Let US spies keep their internet. The EU will build its own

Richard Altmann

Re: She is a genius

Yes, and have Siemens have go ... HehehaaaaahaaahaahHa .....

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Richard Altmann

Re: Siemens or some other EU country can make the equipment, no problem there.

Siemens? Don´t make me laugh! They don´t even get a train on the rails.

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Richard Altmann
Happy

decelerate

Backbone: Laser Semaphores

Last Mile: Talking Drums

both Enigma cyphered.

High latency but safe.

Movie streaming might suffer but we are talking safe communication not Entertainment.

Jobs for sub saharan people ...

Must meet noise pollution regulations like airports.

So, no nightly e-mails from the Boss...

Just perfect ...

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LOHAN cops a faceful of Raspberry Pi

Richard Altmann

Re: Fuel

Of course, as someone who used to drink Jagermeister from a pint glass....

Since there´s no cocgnac bowl icon ... Have n´t touched a Jägermeister since 3 decades but a spanish brandy is nothing to cough at.

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Richard Altmann
Pint

Fuel

The main question is: What choice of Brandy put Lester in the state of mind of a 12 year old to enable him to handle the Pi?

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Optical Express 'ruined my life' attack site wins Nominet takedown battle

Richard Altmann
Pint

Re: I married an eye surgeon

So let me put this into one short sentence:

It is now realised that this affects peripheral vision and night vision without the subject being aware of the deficit, and we expect that at some stage (it wil be a while, this is HMG after all) there will be a slew of letters going out to those who've had this treatment (details obtained from the surgical logs under public health regulations, we are talking about the control of large metal things hurtly about the highways at speed) advising them that until they get these factors tested in an extended ophthalmic examination, and pass, that they no longer meet the vision criteria for driving and their licences are accordingly withdrawn.

Have a Pint

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Boffins spot LONE PLANET roaming interstellar void

Richard Altmann

Re: Nah..

Where´s the Klemperer rosette then?

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BOFH: Welcome to Helldesk, ma'am, may I take your bags?

Richard Altmann
Facepalm

Using the mouse on the screen, anyone else?

It must have been the cousin of the lady who tried using the mouse as a pointing device.

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The LSD trick cyclist, the 1980s pop-star and video games to REPROGRAM YOUR BRAIN

Richard Altmann

Where´s the fun

in computer games without a Jolly Good Fellow?

Can´t be bothered

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Our sensational rocket ship Vulture 2 REVEALED: LIVE at 3pm

Richard Altmann
Paris Hilton

Name ?

Some say he/she´s been moulded without a serial number to cover up his/her existence at all. All we know is: He/ She´s might be retreating to the mysterious Swedish lesbian enclave to recover from his/her astounding stratodangles. Pics pse.

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Our second attempt to give LOHAN a good banging: Live tomorrow

Richard Altmann

godspeed

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400 million Chinese people can't speak Chinese: Official

Richard Altmann
Happy

Yoda

I´ve been technically supervising a union conference until one hour ago.

There was a guy using the same grammar like Yoda.

In German, with an Austrian accent.

16 interpreters got completly lost in the attempt to translate what this bloke was talking about.

I had to run outside. Hilarious!

To You Grammar Nazi Commentards: I´m Dschörmän and looking forward Your ´tars about my own grammar. Be with may you the encyclopedia britannica.

Still sniggering

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Vulture 2 autopilot reports for duty

Richard Altmann

Re: Budget?

Blew the roof off any garden shed ever built

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How our shaken Reg Playmonaut survived a 113,000ft stratodangle

Richard Altmann

Frogman

Now, where comes the frogman in?

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Latest NASA ASTRONAUT class is HALF FEMALE

Richard Altmann
FAIL

Re: Parallel parking in space

They don´t,twat.

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Lego fan constructs Bletchley Park Colossus

Richard Altmann
Thumb Down

LEGO vs. Playmobile

Playmobile created a shisma. Good old LEGO had to come up with an anwser and came out with kits and building plans. Before that it was bags of blocks in different shapes and colours. I remember that X-Mas when grandpa presented me with a LEGO kit of a scandinavian ferry of about 400 bricks. The neighbours boy received the Playmobile "Pirate Ship". Nothing to assemble, just there. We used the LEGO bricks to build a landing site for the pirate ship. Playmobile killed off a lot of creative challenge by providing a ready to use toy. Hence the lack of engineer students today. LEGO and Fischer Technik where the toys (tools) of the time. Playmobile killed it. Just unwrap it and play.

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Richard Altmann

Blighty

Sorry guys,

get over it. If would not have been for a recovered code book of a sunk U-Boot and the excellent work of some polish mathematicians Mr. Turing and the Bombe wouldn´t have gone anywhere.

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US Army engineer wins Air Assault wings after repairing hi-tech leg twice

Richard Altmann
Mushroom

Didn´t get the message

Must have been hit between the ears as well. Please Sir, let me go back and have the rest of myself being blown to pieces since it did not really work out the first time. Numb Nut. High Command must be laughing their balls off over idiots like him who happily limp back to the butcher´s. Well, better that way, then having this sort of guys hanging around in the local pub bloating about, what heroes they are. And definitly better then me being press ganged to step on a landmine in a country where the locals don´t want me to bring peace, democracy... (fill in).

What a moron

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Plans for fully 3D-printed gun go online next week

Richard Altmann
FAIL

Re: Be careful for what you ask for, you might get it!

Nope!

The NRA will pass a law that makes owning a 3D printer with the "plan" a nessecitie for every US household.

A 5 year old boy does not need to ask his parents for a Kinder rifle before shooting his sister. Print,Bang,Done

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US Ambassador plays Game of Thrones with pirates

Richard Altmann
Thumb Down

Re: iTunes

Perhaps some political re education will sort that out.

Yeah, you guys invented the Concentration Camps

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Fraudster gets ten years after selling fake 'ionic charge' bomb detectors

Richard Altmann
Coat

Hilarious

This guy´s selling skills must be off the top shelf.

To get into business with the likes who are running failed states like Iraq or Kenia there is no way around the "brown envelope", as its called in Uganda (another failed state). The UN does it, WHO and WFP do. He should be aknowleged for exposing this greedy, corrupt bastards on the opposite side of the counter. That these bastards are even considering to get away with such a fraud shows how "morally corrupt the society of a country in its self is"(citation of an Ugandan MP). For getting an IED or car bomb into the green zone of Baghdad it only needs some Bakshish or "I know, where your family lives" to pass the roadblock. Operational searching device or not. McCormick has outstanding sales skills and should be, if at all, sentenced to 10 years of shoe repairs and key copying. Well, he might own the company after he´s done his time. Business idea for free: Divining rods for minesweepers.

Icon: My butler, checking my coat for IEDs before i put on

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Hold on! Degrees for all doesn't mean great jobs for all, say profs

Richard Altmann
FAIL

graduate

" when a degree was a rare badge of distinction, rather than something which fell out of your cornflakes packet following three years of alcohol-fuelled fornication."

may i use it?

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US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

Richard Altmann

Re: Bloody Americans

stop whinging ...

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US woman cuffed for 'booking strippers for 16th birthday bash'

Richard Altmann
WTF?

WTF

There´s a ruling in NY that if one looks at its female coworker for more then 8 seconds its sexual harassement.

I wouldn´t even pass Immigration. My wife is of african orign and she is "Proud to be Black", my daughter insits of "Chocolate". Plus they are proud of their female assets and you are welcome to admire them (visualy) as much as you like. There has just been a case in Germany where a politician tried to chat up a journalist and she went completly off the tracks and public.

Back to the point: Being aged 13 there wasn´t a stripper who could shock me with anything anymore. And that was far before the interweb. Like:oh,it´s my 18th birthday but you are still only 17. we are shagging since 2 years now but the law says that from today on i have sexual intercourse with a minor. Nothing wrong for a 13 year old boy watching a female in a bikini singing "Happy Birthday". Goes home and has a wank (if he liked it).

I go whereever my company sends me , near, far, middle East, Eastern Europe, the Africas. But they accept that i won´t go to the U.S.A. It´s still a land of the free but until you put your laywers on the next pole all this O.J.Simpsons and "he looked at me in a harassing way" wont go away. And yes i am 13 and love to watch a stripper.

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Satanic Renault takes hapless French bloke on 200km/h joyride

Richard Altmann

Re: @I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

are they french?

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Bring out your dead: Reg readers reveal filthy, filthy PCs...

Richard Altmann
Black Helicopters

Blow

before blowing a board block the vents. They work as generators when set in rotation by airstream and feed current back on to the mainboard with sometimes lethal results for the board, graphics card.

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North Korea's satellite a dud, say US astroboffins

Richard Altmann
FAIL

Re: Failure?

NK is producing washing machines?

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Germany sets date for Google vs newspapers smackdown

Richard Altmann
FAIL

Sie haben schlürfte uns zum letzten Mal

"schlürfte" not djöman, i think, neither hebwru

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Won't follow Apple Store rules? How 'bout an iTASER TREAT!

Richard Altmann
Happy

Tasering someone who wants to buy an i-whatever?

...

I leave that to you

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A bitter spill to swallow, or 'how to smeg up your keyboard'

Richard Altmann

Re: Simple solution

"Plus my cat won't walk on my big clunky keyboard, but happily wanders all over the Mac one, and even sits on it. Makes a mighty fine mess of any document you might be writing if you happen to forget to lock the desktop before going to make a cuppa!"

Now some empiric study starts: Cats completly ignore pc keyboards but love to jump up and down apple boards and crap on it.

I´m not in the fruit´s business but friends are and they all have problems with cats shitting on their board.

I never go without at least two cats and PCs and the pussys never touch it.

Really worth a study

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Nokia primes Lumias for Windows Phone 8 push

Richard Altmann
Thumb Down

Re: Re:exclusivity deals

get out of your mother´s basement and walk the streets of Nairobi, Kampala, Sao Paulo ... and what you will find there: Nokia. Crawl back under your stone, if you left it.

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Hurricane Sandy smacks the Big Apple around

Richard Altmann
Thumb Down

Re: HMS Pot, meet SMS Kettle

Well, check out this ...

http://www.spiegel.de/fotostrecke/wirbelsturm-sandy-richtet-in-den-usa-schwere-verwuestungen-an-fotostrecke-89139-12.html

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Publicity Stunt of the Week: Ten bizarre phone insurance claims

Richard Altmann
Unhappy

Re: I followed that link to the past excuses.

Yup,the lighter Dad once gave me and he´d gotten from his Dad.

Car roofs suck. Lesson learned.

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I just LOVE Server 2012, but count me out on Windows 8 for now

Richard Altmann
Unhappy

by o u dy

"Given the decades-long lifespan of some applications - particularly those licensed at $50,000 or more per seat "

For another $k 5 they will offer you an update ( just to go with the times) and a new contract. All this big system suppliers are only waiting for the next OS so they can sell "update kits" to their clients. The "New Version" of the app is then released halfway through the lifespan of the OS. So, u by o u dy while on the (not so)far horizons the next OS threatens to arise.

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ZTE slams Congress spying claims, doubles down on sales ban

Richard Altmann

Re: Breaking News...Routers of Mass Distruction

No,that section is busy in the climate change denying/confirming departement now

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Richard Altmann
Mushroom

Breaking News

The CIA just released a bulletin stating, they found evidence Huawei is using secret facilities in Northern Korea to produce Routers of Mass Distruction in support of Al Qaida.

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SpaceX Falcon 9 flameout leaves commercial satellite in wrong orbit

Richard Altmann

circle of life

the falcon fledges

the eagle (crash)lands

Congs to SpaceX

NASA playing with RC toys while privatiers conquer the cosmos.

I hope SpaceX is not using any Huawei parts. Congress will outlaw them.

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'Never seen before' Fraunhofer wireless breakthrough... seen before

Richard Altmann
Headmaster

"device"

The US of A have MIT and JPL

Germany has Max-Planck and Fraunhofer Institutes

UK has ... wait ...

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