Feeds

* Posts by Richard Altmann

96 posts • joined 19 Jan 2012

Page:

Redmond resists order to hand over overseas email

Richard Altmann

The Internet

was a vision of freedom of information and communication.

Now, by using the internet one is rendered guilty of everything by default.

Pse allow me to quote this chap:

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies.The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."

Clive Staples Lewis * 29. November 1898† 22. November 1963

0
0

Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN

Richard Altmann

Re: There was also an elephant in the room...

it was pink, so nobody saw it.

0
0

NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'

Richard Altmann

Conversation loop

About three times per year:

Boss: "I need you to go to U.S.A."

Me:"I will not!"

<loop>

He´s sending me all across the world and i love it.

States? No way!

2
0
Richard Altmann

Re: What's wrong with Turkey?

"But then I've never met their politicians."

And you´ve never been to a german biliard hall.

0
0
Richard Altmann
Headmaster

Re: What wonderful society - North America

I think, it´s weird that 43% of US citizens don´t understand that every no vote is two upvotes for the existing system that takes away their daily-life-freedom with sometimes most bizarre laws. Go and vote for the liberals or the greens or whatever just to express your unhappiness with the reps or dems. If you don´t vote you give two votes to the ones you don´t want. two- nil for the ones you don´t like if you don´t vote. one-one if you vote against what you don´t want and win a vote against them even though your chosen party does not stand a chance to be elected. The 43% of non voters like in the last elections could make a difference if they only could get there arses up to vote for anything against what is not what they want.

simple, isn´t it?

3
0

BitTorrent not to blame for movie revenues, says economist

Richard Altmann

Re: Add the 3d farce

When i come across eastern european youngsters i find that their english is worlds ahead of what a german kid is mumbling. Quite sure, they did not learn it in school. So i went to ask them. They are watching the same rubbish TV series and movies from the states as the tschörman kids. Only, in their countries the "content" is neither subbed or dubbed.

1
0

Boeing to start work on most powerful rocket ... EVER!

Richard Altmann

No Innovation

there. Went to the Space Shuttle warehouse, took what´s left of the project from the shelves, bundled it up with a rubberband and sold it as a new thingy to NASA. Not before sticking on new price tags of course.

No they are gathered in the secret basement of Boing Central so noone can hear the popping of champagne bottles and their evil laughter. Looking forward to the doubling of "development" time, trippling of the production costs and the tenfold rise of their boni. Conspiracy? Don´t be paranoid. Go find professional help.

0
0

USA to insist on pre-flight mobe power probe

Richard Altmann

Airplanes

are not terrorist targets. Entebbe, Nairobi, Djibouti, Addis Ababa, Abuja ... one could walk through the "checks" with whatever one likes. And that´s just a few airports i know of myself. 9/11 was different, they turned the planes into weapons. Paris, Brussels, Frankfurt, Istanbul ... what excellent targets. But it´s not going to happen. With the Twin Tower attacks AQ got what they want. "Mission Accomplished". The "Free World" no longer exists. Treeelions spent on useless security measures and 90% of the worlds population turned into per se suspects of whatever. A genius strike, one has to addmit. So give me back my shaving foam and shower gel.

3
0
Richard Altmann

TSA

Who the hell wants to go Nazi America? I frequently have words with my boss ´cause he wants to send me there for conferences and what not. "I will Not!" Pratchett/Baxter readers will know what i mean.

0
0

Star Wars: These are the 'unknown' actors we were looking for

Richard Altmann

Re: Fan Bingbing?

No trolling here but Jaja Bing to my mind

(shudder)

0
0

New NSA boss plays down impact of Snowden leaks

Richard Altmann

A quote

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."

Clive Staples Lewis * 29. November 1898† 22. November 1963

2
0
Richard Altmann

Illuminatus

The world was such a nice place living in West - Berlin. The flat lit up by the search lights from east of the Wall, smoking joints, reading the "Illuminatus" books and getting frickin´ paranoid. Half a life later it turns out that Robert Anton Wilson and H.G. Wells did not catch a glimpse of what was going on even in their times. Nowadays one does not need any dope or LSD to be caught up in paranoia. Reality beats the worst trip one could "tune in" to.

3
0

LOHAN laid bare in intimate interview

Richard Altmann

HD 25

Best reasonable priced headphones ever produced.

I´m right now flipping through "Das Buch der Astronautik" by A.F. Marfeld published in 1963.

It´s an amazing manual of how to get things into space. With the history, math, physics and chemistry and whatever one needs to get going. Pre moon landing hardcore.

Godspeed

0
0

Happy Birthday Tetris: It's flipping 30

Richard Altmann

Re: After-effects

You touch them, that´s it

0
0
Richard Altmann

Re: After-effects

Ever thought i was cool until i dreamt Doom

0
0

I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

Richard Altmann
Pint

IT and conferencing

I feel for the IT guys who get put in charge of the conference facilities in their companies.

Just because a presentation laptop is connected to the conference system, it does not mean its all IT.

In 99% of SMEs the conference technic goes to either the IT departement or the guy who changes the bulbs and mows the lawn. They hate doing it because it keeps them away from the job they´ve been hired for. What with all the hussle with coke fuelled managers insisting to show their 1024x768 slides in HD.

The companies are blowing out megatons of cash for conference facilities since they want to look posh in front of their clients. Which is often very embarassing, since there is noone there to operate that shit properly. Who gets the blame? The IT departement (since a presentation laptop is involved and the ever failing videoconference system runs over IP). I bet, many IT guys would rather happily fix uncle Herbert´s slow internet then having to cope with systems in their company which are not their field of experties and they don´t want anything to do with.

I salute you and raise a pint for everyone concerned

3
0

Beautiful balloon burst caught on camera

Richard Altmann
Pint

FANTASTIC!!

There should be an Award somewhere for HAB footage like that.

If you ever happen to come to Munich i would be honored to take you out to the Forschungsbrauerei (Research Brewery) for a beer or two. It does not come in Pints but in Mass (1 Liter).

Xlnt work! Both LOHAN and the Booze

1
0

550 reasons to buy this book for your beloved: COCKROACHES of Oz

Richard Altmann
Mushroom

Want

to see Roaches? Come to Uganda.

Half a foot of length is not uncommon.

ElReg, pse let us attach photos to our comments.

There´s a company called "Roachman" in Kampala driving around town in cars with supersized roach models on the roof . Cats help a lot. They actually eat them after they had their fun with them. If you smash them their eggs are splad all over the place. So that does not really help. The South Africans have come up with a spray called "Doom!" and boy, it does the job. Can´t buy it in europe because of some chemical warfare barriers. It´s a nerve gas tailored for these bastards and works on mosquitos as well. You better have some drinks outside on the veranda after spraying before you go back inside.

0
0

Google's self-driving car breakthrough: Stop sign no longer a problem

Richard Altmann
Coffee/keyboard

Re: I can't believe you guys are so gullible

You Sir owe me a keyboard.

0
0

France bans managers from contacting workers outside business hours

Richard Altmann

tied to their employer whether they like it or not,

you chose the wrong life ... Go back to start or continue to be a slave, looser

0
1

Internet is a TOOL OF SATAN that destroys belief, study claims

Richard Altmann
Devil

OMG!

"the number of people citing no religious belief increased from 8 to 18 per cent between 1990 and 2010"

So, if one looks linear, it will take another ~ 200 years for mankind to overcome the worst desease that ever befelt it. At that time waterlevels will have risen to catastrophic heights, due to a popular religion (Treehuggers). Resulting in the launch of Noah´s Ark 2.0 and it all starts over again. We are trapped in a hamster wheel!

0
0

Driver drama delays deep desert XP upgrade

Richard Altmann

Re: That´s the Spirit ...

Mate, i´ve been to Lagos around this time as well. 300 workstation internet cafés packed with 419 scammers and every 15 mins or so one of the guys hit "Bingo". It was Clondyke River all over again. A home and shoes for the kids. Not provided by some gooddoing NGO´s but by outsmarting greedy first world c*unts. It was lovely

0
0
Richard Altmann
Pint

That´s the Spirit ...

of bringing IT into the remote areas of the world!

Reminds me of going to Karamoja (Northern Uganda) to set up a training center.

It was the Win2k times on PII boxes. Traveling in a battered Land Rover with all the gear inside and few hundred liters of fuel plus the gen set on the roof. We were delayed by three hours cause this bloody lion decided to take a nap in the middle of the road (for better words) and no AC. The Lucent Technologies 5Mb cards worked a treat but it took 3 days to get the f****ng sat com going. Couldn´t leave the hut at night due to roaming hyenas. The spider was a brown widow and the resulting necrosis from the bites could only be treated some days later. Looks like shrapnel wounds. The exchange rate in the pub was one AK47 bullet for a beer. It still is. The training center was scorched by rebels.

4
0

LOHAN's Punch and Judy show is GO for Saturday

Richard Altmann

godspeed

0
0

Huawei rakes in £2 BEEELLION in profits

Richard Altmann

Re: NSA and GCHQ - HuaWei's ...

I am just now charging my Ascend P6 for the first time.

It was smooth sailing with Nokia for more than a decade but one has to draw a line.

Now i´m looking for a non Yank OS to get rid of Google. Tips anyone?

0
0

BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

Richard Altmann

the reason to wear a belt

Leatherman, MagLite

0
0

Icahn and I will: Carl's war on eBay goes NUCLEAR over Skype

Richard Altmann

Quis custodit custodes

Respect, Mr. Icahn. You are taking your rights as a shareholder serious and have real questions for the board. Shareholders are the ones who own the company and it is their responsibility to audit the board. Why should wazisname get away with sinking 700 mio? With shareholders taking more responsibility a lot more of this incompetent or even criminal behaviours would come to daylight.

0
1

Bill Gates is BACK... as CHIEF RICH human of PLANET EARTH

Richard Altmann

Polio

Apart from almost single handly erradicating Polio YOU NUMB!!!

0
3

Pine trees' scent 'could prevent climate change really being a problem'

Richard Altmann
Mushroom

Arctis

Well, that thing and a great deal of Tundra Perma Frost just melted away while the Athmosphere did not heat up "The last 15 years or so"?

0
1

Linux-friendly Munich: Ja, we'll take open source collab cloud

Richard Altmann

Re: So forward looking in Munich

Mate, you wouldn´t want to live in a (small) City where 50% of native inhabitants suffer of Tourette - Syndrom. Libre Office or not. They should have a border. 50m high and backfilled with concrete.

0
0
Richard Altmann

Vorsprung durch Technik

would be Ingolstadt

0
0

Angela Merkel: Let US spies keep their internet. The EU will build its own

Richard Altmann

Re: She is a genius

Yes, and have Siemens have go ... HehehaaaaahaaahaahHa .....

0
0
Richard Altmann

Re: Siemens or some other EU country can make the equipment, no problem there.

Siemens? Don´t make me laugh! They don´t even get a train on the rails.

0
0
Richard Altmann
Happy

decelerate

Backbone: Laser Semaphores

Last Mile: Talking Drums

both Enigma cyphered.

High latency but safe.

Movie streaming might suffer but we are talking safe communication not Entertainment.

Jobs for sub saharan people ...

Must meet noise pollution regulations like airports.

So, no nightly e-mails from the Boss...

Just perfect ...

3
1

LOHAN cops a faceful of Raspberry Pi

Richard Altmann

Re: Fuel

Of course, as someone who used to drink Jagermeister from a pint glass....

Since there´s no cocgnac bowl icon ... Have n´t touched a Jägermeister since 3 decades but a spanish brandy is nothing to cough at.

0
0
Richard Altmann
Pint

Fuel

The main question is: What choice of Brandy put Lester in the state of mind of a 12 year old to enable him to handle the Pi?

0
0

Optical Express 'ruined my life' attack site wins Nominet takedown battle

Richard Altmann
Pint

Re: I married an eye surgeon

So let me put this into one short sentence:

It is now realised that this affects peripheral vision and night vision without the subject being aware of the deficit, and we expect that at some stage (it wil be a while, this is HMG after all) there will be a slew of letters going out to those who've had this treatment (details obtained from the surgical logs under public health regulations, we are talking about the control of large metal things hurtly about the highways at speed) advising them that until they get these factors tested in an extended ophthalmic examination, and pass, that they no longer meet the vision criteria for driving and their licences are accordingly withdrawn.

Have a Pint

2
2

Boffins spot LONE PLANET roaming interstellar void

Richard Altmann

Re: Nah..

Where´s the Klemperer rosette then?

0
0

BOFH: Welcome to Helldesk, ma'am, may I take your bags?

Richard Altmann
Facepalm

Using the mouse on the screen, anyone else?

It must have been the cousin of the lady who tried using the mouse as a pointing device.

0
0

The LSD trick cyclist, the 1980s pop-star and video games to REPROGRAM YOUR BRAIN

Richard Altmann

Where´s the fun

in computer games without a Jolly Good Fellow?

Can´t be bothered

0
0

Our sensational rocket ship Vulture 2 REVEALED: LIVE at 3pm

Richard Altmann
Paris Hilton

Name ?

Some say he/she´s been moulded without a serial number to cover up his/her existence at all. All we know is: He/ She´s might be retreating to the mysterious Swedish lesbian enclave to recover from his/her astounding stratodangles. Pics pse.

0
0

Our second attempt to give LOHAN a good banging: Live tomorrow

Richard Altmann

godspeed

0
0

400 million Chinese people can't speak Chinese: Official

Richard Altmann
Happy

Yoda

I´ve been technically supervising a union conference until one hour ago.

There was a guy using the same grammar like Yoda.

In German, with an Austrian accent.

16 interpreters got completly lost in the attempt to translate what this bloke was talking about.

I had to run outside. Hilarious!

To You Grammar Nazi Commentards: I´m Dschörmän and looking forward Your ´tars about my own grammar. Be with may you the encyclopedia britannica.

Still sniggering

0
0

Vulture 2 autopilot reports for duty

Richard Altmann

Re: Budget?

Blew the roof off any garden shed ever built

0
0

How our shaken Reg Playmonaut survived a 113,000ft stratodangle

Richard Altmann

Frogman

Now, where comes the frogman in?

0
0

Latest NASA ASTRONAUT class is HALF FEMALE

Richard Altmann
FAIL

Re: Parallel parking in space

They don´t,twat.

0
3

Lego fan constructs Bletchley Park Colossus

Richard Altmann
Thumb Down

LEGO vs. Playmobile

Playmobile created a shisma. Good old LEGO had to come up with an anwser and came out with kits and building plans. Before that it was bags of blocks in different shapes and colours. I remember that X-Mas when grandpa presented me with a LEGO kit of a scandinavian ferry of about 400 bricks. The neighbours boy received the Playmobile "Pirate Ship". Nothing to assemble, just there. We used the LEGO bricks to build a landing site for the pirate ship. Playmobile killed off a lot of creative challenge by providing a ready to use toy. Hence the lack of engineer students today. LEGO and Fischer Technik where the toys (tools) of the time. Playmobile killed it. Just unwrap it and play.

1
0
Richard Altmann

Blighty

Sorry guys,

get over it. If would not have been for a recovered code book of a sunk U-Boot and the excellent work of some polish mathematicians Mr. Turing and the Bombe wouldn´t have gone anywhere.

0
1

US Army engineer wins Air Assault wings after repairing hi-tech leg twice

Richard Altmann
Mushroom

Didn´t get the message

Must have been hit between the ears as well. Please Sir, let me go back and have the rest of myself being blown to pieces since it did not really work out the first time. Numb Nut. High Command must be laughing their balls off over idiots like him who happily limp back to the butcher´s. Well, better that way, then having this sort of guys hanging around in the local pub bloating about, what heroes they are. And definitly better then me being press ganged to step on a landmine in a country where the locals don´t want me to bring peace, democracy... (fill in).

What a moron

1
13

Plans for fully 3D-printed gun go online next week

Richard Altmann
FAIL

Re: Be careful for what you ask for, you might get it!

Nope!

The NRA will pass a law that makes owning a 3D printer with the "plan" a nessecitie for every US household.

A 5 year old boy does not need to ask his parents for a Kinder rifle before shooting his sister. Print,Bang,Done

7
9

Page: