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* Posts by Crisp

1976 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

XBOX ONE ROUNDUP-of-the-ROUNDUPS: Everything YOU need to know

Crisp
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Re: The Million Dollar Question...

Some Linux user you are then.

If you can't recompile the kernel to run on that device then you should turn in your Linux card now!

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Dry, cold and volatile: How to survive Mars, and your fellow crew

Crisp
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They do a lot of work on the psychological of people

I'm sure they do.

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Darknet: It's not just for DRUGS. Ninja Banking Trojan uses it too

Crisp
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Enterprise level malware

Except that their helpdesk probably actually works.

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Prime Minister David Cameron in TWITTER HOOKER SHAME

Crisp
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MPs having heterosexual relations?

There's your scandal right there!

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US senator asks: Will Bitcoin replace Swiss bank accounts?

Crisp
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Re: Yes, HSBC Bank.................

$500M is nothing to them. They made so much more than that laundering money for criminals.

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You THINK you're watching your LG smart TV - but IT's WATCHING YOU, baby

Crisp
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Any comment from the Police Central e-crime Unit El Reg?

C'mon! You're supposed to be journalists! Ask questions!

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Biggest quantum cluster does not compute ... yet

Crisp
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"quantum leap”

The smallest possible amount of leap.

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Barclays Online OFFLINE: UK bank site, mobile app go titsup for the evening

Crisp
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Re: How hard is it to have multiple bank accounts and paypal?

Yeah, if you had two bank accounts, you could just log on to the barclays website and transfer your wages into your other account....

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Underage teens' Facebook posts are still FACE ACHE ads ... bitch

Crisp
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Adblock

In your face Zuckerberg!

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Google, Microsoft to drop child sex abuse from basic web search

Crisp
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I'm no expert in criminal behaviour

But I'm pretty certain that evil pedoterrorists aren't going around typing "kiddie porn" into google to get their kicks. Call me cynical, but I think this is a PR move that's likely to do more harm than good. A false sense of security is worse than no security at all.

Seriously, who thinks this stuff up?

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BT Openreach boss QUITS to quench ambitious thirst

Crisp
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Severn Trent

I walk past three Severn Trent leaks on my way to work every morning. They have been there for at least 2 years.

Unless Liv Garfield is handy with a wrench, I don't see Severn Trent's shareholders gaining anything from this.

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Build your own WORKING Sonic Screwdriver... for a UNDER A FIVER

Crisp
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Sonic Screwdriver? Who uses those any more?

I want to see El Reg's article on building your own laser screwdriver!

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File-NUKING Cryptolocker PC malware MENACES 'TENS of MILLIONS' in UK

Crisp
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What is the UK National Crime Agency doing about this besides sending out warnings?

Because, let's face it: my little sister could do that.

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Apple, for one, welcomes its ROBOT factory OVERLORDS

Crisp
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"restricted substances and green chemistry"

It's exactly as dodgy as it sounds!

Nice job title though :) What's the pay like?

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Dark HEAVY METAL star fires up jets, vomits hot ROCK into space

Crisp
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Re: mining

I don't know. Get a tight beam microwave transmitter, aim it at Earth and in a few thousand years, free electricity for all!

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Murdoch stands between your kids and filth with BSkyB network-level SHIELD

Crisp
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No Technical Details?

How does this filter work exactly?

Are they analysing every packet? Is it a DNS block? Some sort of URL filter?

How far does this network level filter go?

So many unanswered questions.

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Coroner suggests cars should block mobile phones

Crisp
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Re: Using a phone while driving?

Yeah, but what if all the dumb people in cars talking on their mobile phone run over all the smart people?

Before you know it, we've all got the average IQ of the Houses of Parliament.

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How d'ya make a JP Morgan banker cry? Ask him questions on Twitter

Crisp
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That wasn't trolling.

That was Great Justice!

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Smartphone addicts go floppy under the sheets, warns DOCTOR WANG

Crisp
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Mr Floppy?

No! Not the Melty Man!

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QUANTUM COMPUTER in WORLD RECORD qubit stunner

Crisp
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Re: What can you do with a single qubit?

You'd think a single bit of information would be totally useless too. But then where would we be without light switches?

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Canadian teens cuffed over alleged Snapchat child sex pics ring

Crisp
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The boys would probably be getting done for creating child porn as well then.

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Want to BUILD YOUR OWN Tardis? First, get a star and set it spinning...

Crisp
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Re: c as a constant

Because there's an awful lot of other things we can test that depend on c being a constant. For example: the fine structure constant Alpha, and the decay rate of Cobalt 56 (see the observations of SN1987A).

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Crisp
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Imagine space-time is like a huge rubber sheet.

Space-time is easily wiped clean and wont let anything stain your mattress?

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The TRUTH about mystery Trojan found in SPAAACE

Crisp
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Trojans in space

I immediately thought of those asteroids that float around Lagrangian points.

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MIT boffins show off spooky human action at a distance

Crisp
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Re: Cool.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

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Microsoft fears XP could cause Indian BANKOCALYPSE

Crisp
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Re: MS ARE offering extended support

Well to be fair, the banks can afford it.

But if they can afford that, then they can afford to get their IT affairs in order.

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BT jabbed by ad watchdog AGAIN over fibre deployment fibs

Crisp
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It's getting to the point where you're better off assuming everything BT say is a lie

BT simply cannot be trusted to give a straight answer

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MPAA, RIAA: Kids need to learn 3 Rs – reading, writing and NO RIPPING

Crisp
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Re: Let's generalise this a bit

Who says advertising doesn't work!? :D

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Crisp
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The MPAA and RIAA are pitching the idea of grooming kids early?

Did no one at those groups stop to think about the unfortunate implications of this?

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Chinese Bitcoin exchange DISAPPEARS, along with £2.5 MEEELLION

Crisp
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Pint

And beer according to Alex Brett @16:28

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Crisp
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@Cliff

Are you saying that I should move my money out of HSBC?

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Crisp
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Communist Governments

They know how to keep their troublemakers in line!

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Boffins boggled by ORB-shaped electrons

Crisp
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Re: Nature loves to do idle integration

The proof is left as an exercise for the universe.

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Right royal rumpus over remote-control 'RoboRoach'

Crisp
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Cyborg Cockroaches?

I think I'm going to need a bigger can of Raid!

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Blighty's banks prep for repeated kicks to cyber-'nads in Operation Waking Shark II

Crisp
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How is this a fair test?

In the real world, you wouldn't necessarily know an attack is coming, or where it would be directed.

I doubt this "attack" will employ any techniques that the defending staff haven't specifically been told to prepare for.

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Martian MOM LAYS another EGG in SPACE - but it's not big enough

Crisp
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That's not a slingshot!

That's a Hohmann transfer!

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Rogue US-Israeli cyberwar weapon 'infected Russian nuclear plant'

Crisp
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Re: Flash

Ahhhhhh Hhhhhhha!

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Crisp
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Well we know who built Stuxnet

I suggest that the governments affected sue the perpetrators from orbit. This kind of collateral damage could have been prevented had the original developers actually targeted their attack.

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Google patent: THROAT TATTOO with lie-detecting mobe microphone built-in

Crisp
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Lie detector? Galvanic skin response?

Someone at Google/Motorola doesn't know how the human body works apparently.

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Boffins build R2-WEE-2: The urine-powered robot with a human-like heart

Crisp
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Re: "I need your clothes, your boots..."

And a urine sample.

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Latest global menace: ELECTROPULSE NORKS, apparently

Crisp
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Mushroom

EMP's? Just like in Red Dawn?

WOLVERINES!

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The CURSE of WHO: WHY has there never been a decent videogame with the Doctor?

Crisp
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What about that game with the sonic screwdriver?

You know, that one you could get on Linux desktops. Where all the darleks chased you around the screen.

Someone must know what I'm on about.

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You've been arrested for computer crime: Here's what happens next

Crisp
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Image hash database

Is this publicly available so that sysadmins can run preventative measures?

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SCIENCE and RELIGION AGREE! LIFE and Man ARE from CLAY

Crisp
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Highly developed organisms such as Register readers?

[Citation Needed]

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Apple: How we slip YOUR data to govts – but, hey, we're not Google

Crisp
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How exactly is this helping to fight "terrorism"?

Are the NSA really that interested in my high score on Plants Vs Zombies?

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Apple patents technology to STALK YOU in your own HOME

Crisp
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A person can set a schedule controlling the heating or cooling of his house.

I'm pretty sure I already have a device in my house that's doing that right at the moment.

And my oven already has a timer on it.

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Thought you didn't need to show ID in the UK? Wrong

Crisp
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That's Theresa May for you.

She can't get her own house in order (remember that fiasco with her border staff just letting everyone through because they were "under staffed"), so she's very neatly trying to sweep the problem under someone elses rug.

Most landlords have a hard enough time maintaining their properties. They have neither the time, nor the qualifications to verify the identity and eligibility of someone to stay in the UK. Hell, if the Home Office itself can't figure out who's legally entitled to live in the UK, how is a landlord?

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The 10 most INHUMAN bosses you'll encounter: A Reg reader's guide

Crisp
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Re: Yup. That's me.

I am at work.

My code's compiling.

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Tim Cook stands firmly behind pro-LGBT, anti-discrimination law

Crisp
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Nice to see America catching up to the rest of the civilised world.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal" seems like a nice place to start. I read that in a declaration of independence somewhere.

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