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* Posts by Crisp

2080 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Queen's Speech: Computer Misuse Act to be amended, tougher sentences planned

Crisp
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Re: Computer Misuse Act needs more of an update than that

I completely agree with you. There's just one problem.

This legislation will be written by lawyers. A profession which is still passing documents around by fax machine.

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Crisp
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Re: WTF are 'paedophilic manuals'?

I've no idea. It seems a little silly to me to have a law to cover a specific case of a manual that details how to commit a very specific crime.

Why no legislation on burglary manuals? Or Murder manuals? Armed robbery manuals? (Maybe it's the programmer in me, but why not create an abstract law regarding the dissemination of criminal techniques in manuals and then have a concrete implementation for each crime?)

Is this law really going to accomplish anything? I'm no criminal mastermind, but I don't think that criminals go on to the internet, download a "paedophilic manual" and then start practising.

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Glassholes beware: This guy's got your number

Crisp
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Re: Instead of flipping images upside-down, just tilt them by a few degrees

That's the evilest thing I can imagine! :')

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Android is a BURNING 'hellstew' of malware, cackles Apple's Cook

Crisp
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Re: Can you back that up with facts? Links? Evidence?

All non-trivial software solutions have holes. See The Halting Problem.

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US bloke raises $250k to build robo-masturbation device

Crisp
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Re: Software Defined Wanking

That's not actually a bad idea... Let's hope that this device has a decent API and a USB connector.

You could have it sync up with a movie of your favourite grumble flick, or you could have it vary the grip, frequency and length of strokes.

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Crisp
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It just doesn't look big enough

How are you supposed to fit it all in there?

There's only 4" of stroke there. It doesn't seem like nearly enough.

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How Bitcoin could become a super-sized Wayback Machine

Crisp
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I can totally see this working

The children of the future will be paying for things with old websites I wrote years ago. It's kind of beautiful in a way :)

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DIY IoT computer smaller than a square inch

Crisp
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What is that? A linux computer for ants?

See title.

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ASUS launches 5-in-1 Android Windows Phone laptop tablet (breathe)

Crisp
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Re: "Who am I?!?!?!?!"

Johnny the tackling alzheimer's patient?

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Rich bitch sorority girls actually more likely to put out than low-class 'sluts': Study

Crisp
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Re: Sexist article

I took away the opposite opinion when I'd finished reading the article. It seems that a womens biggest problem is in fact other women.

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It's Google's NO-WHEEL car. OMG... there aren't any BRAKES

Crisp
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Re: Horse Law

Have you seen the way some irresponsible drivers treat horses on the road though?

It's not the intelligent self driving car I'm worried about, it's the irresponsible human drivers on the road that I worry about. There are already people that display a ridiculous level of hostility to people that use Google Glass, I dread to think how they would react to the Google Car.

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ICO raps UK Student Loans Co for leaking MEDICAL files and more

Crisp
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Why aren't criminal charges being brought?

This is incredibly personal and sensitive information that they are giving away.

Maybe it's time that the Data Protection Act got an update.

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Australia iOS ransom gizmo-snatch OUTRAGE not our FAULT: Apple

Crisp
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Are Apple taking the Pliss?

Coat with the locked iPad in the pocket...

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ARG! A GHOST SHIP! Pirates sunk by UK cops return from watery grave

Crisp
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@Paw Bokenfohr

So essentially, what you're saying is: It's ok to run a url aggregator as long as torrent files aren't the only thing you're indexing.

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Crisp
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Seems to me that the CoLP are way out of their jurisdiction.

Did London annex Poland while I wasn't looking?

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Linux app lets you control fruit fly brains - with frikkin' LASERS

Crisp
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How soon before this technology can be adapted for wasps or bees?

Yes, I want a laser controlled bee cannon.

(If the bees could wear little laser packs as well that would be great.)

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Microsoft Cortana EULA contains the Greatest Disclaimer of ALL TIME

Crisp
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Are they sure that this is unintended behaviour?

Or has Cortana discovered a more subtle interpretation of the three laws of robotics?

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Thanks for nothing, Apple, say forensic security chaps

Crisp
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Re: Boo. Hoo..

They'll be making it a criminal offence to not just hand over passwords next...

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DreamWorks CEO: Movie downloaders should pay by screen size

Crisp
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Re: no-one in their right mind is going to watch a full-feature film on a fucking two inch screen

Fortunately for the market, it's full of people not in their right mind that would quite happily sit and watch a feature film on a 2 inch screen. I've seen them do it on the train.

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Boffins build billion-synapse, three-watt 'brain'

Crisp
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Re: So, how many people that use a brain daily know how it works?

It works on a delicate balance of caffeine and alcohol.

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Polymer droplets turn smartmobes into microscopes

Crisp
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Re: This isn't a killer app

It would make the pictures of my junk more interesting for a start...

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US judge: Our digital search warrants apply ANYWHERE

Crisp
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Re: Conflicting Laws

Good point Number 6!

Can American courts compel a citizen to commit a crime in another country? I can't wait to find out the answer!

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Silk Road dealer 'SuperTrips' faces 40 years for DVD drug imports

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: American Manufacturing

Hey! What about your booming Crystal Meth industry?

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It woz the Reg wot won it: UK mobe network EE fixes voicemail hack flaw

Crisp
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How are anti-terror police supposed to listen to my voice mail now?

I'm going to have to start getting people to leave me messages on Viber.

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Apple, Google, Intel, Adobe, settle employee-fiddling class action suit

Crisp
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Yet again...

I wish I worked for Google. (or Apple, Intel, or Adobe)

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Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

Crisp
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She is extremely pink!

Are the authorities sure she's human?

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Boffins claim machines now beat humans at face-matching

Crisp
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How is it at arse matching?

I need to know for a friend.

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Algorithm ramps up genetic computation

Crisp
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RNA molecules

Upvote for expression.

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AOL Mail locks down email servers to deal with spam tsunami

Crisp
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Re: America On Line does not track you

Would you be interested in buying a bridge?

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Mounties always get their man: Heartbleed 'hacker', 19, CUFFED

Crisp
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He should have used 7 proxies.

See Title.

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Look out, bankers! It's Lily Cole and her (Brit taxpayer-funded) WISH-PRINTING ATM

Crisp
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Re: Someone vomited hashtags all over impossible.com

#yes, #but #you #can't #have #a #modern #site #without #hashtags!

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Crisp
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Urgh! What a god awful site!

It's slow. So slow. The interface is awkward and difficult to navigate. It looks like someone has decided to use pretty much every single transition known to JQuery to display, move or hide elements (and there's no way to turn it off.). It looks like one of those Web 2.0 websites where every flashy new technology has been used just for the sake of it.

There's no verification of users. Yes, you can create an account with bogus credentials and then upload anything you like. The entire site is full of schoolboy errors like this. I don't know about you, but for £200K I expected more.

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New FEMTO-MOON sighted BIRTHING from Saturn's RING

Crisp
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Re: DON'T PANIC

No one likes Comic Sans.

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NSA denies it knew about and USED Heartbleed encryption flaw for TWO YEARS

Crisp
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Anything prefixed with "NSA denies"

Can be taken as the gospel truth.

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Want a free Bosch steam iron? You'll have to TALK TO THE DEAD

Crisp
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Ouija boards

Probably one of the few communication methods left that aren't under constant surveillance by the NSA.

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It may be ILLEGAL to run Heartbleed health checks – IT lawyer

Crisp
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Would it contravene the Computer Misuse Act?

AFAIK, and IANAL: There is precedent set for using the function of a system, even though such a function may not be intended behaviour. (Old Bailey trial 3 Oct. 1973)

However, taking the information gained and using that to circumvent a security measure would be contravening the act.

Disclaimer: The above is pure speculation. Again, IANAL.

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Murdoch says Microsoft needs 'big clean out'

Crisp
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Alert

Re: He's relevant, regardless of how ignorant he is.

That's even worse!

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Crisp
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It's quite sad really...

Rupert Murdoch thinks he's relevant and has something to contribute. Yet the man continually demonstrates his ignorance every time he utters his opinion.

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Broadband Secretary of SHEEP sensationally quits Cabinet

Crisp
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Re: How about trial by combat?

Two MPs enter!

One MP leaves!

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Crisp
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Re: poacher/gamekeeper

How about trial by jury for MPs?

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Snowden lawyer PGP email 'crack' flap: What REALLY happened?

Crisp
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-----BEGIN PGP MESSAGE-----

Version: GnuPG v2.0.17 (MingW32)

It's all plain text now baby!

-----END PGP MESSAGE-----

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Honeybee boffin STINGS OWN WEDDING TACKLE... for SCIENCE

Crisp
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Re: Did it double his manhood in size?

I too was wondering if there was any swelling.

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David Cameron defends BT's taxpayer-funded broadband 'monopoly': It's a 'success story'

Crisp
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I don't think that Prime Minister David Cameron knows what he's defending.

But he's just gone an squandered a ton of public money, so he's got to say something.

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Is this photo PROOF a Windows 7 Start Menu is coming back?

Crisp
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Is the headline similar to a Daily Mail article?

Has El Reg journalism sinking to the lowest common denominator?

Can you replace facts with wild speculation if you phrase it in the form of a question?

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Want to see at night? Here comes the infrared CONTACT LENS

Crisp
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Will this give me Terminator style night vision?

See Title.

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How Microsoft can keep Win XP alive – and WHY: A real-world example

Crisp
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Go

I read as far as the $500k a year development job...

And immediately started updating my CV

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FCC doubles 5GHz spectrum in prep for one-gigabit Wi-Fi

Crisp
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Re: peanut butter and jelly

Bacon and tomato sauce surely!

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BlackBerry sucker-punches TV star Ryan Seacrest in patent brawl

Crisp
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As far as I'm concerned...

All Qwerty keyboards are practically the same. Mostly from the necessity of having all the keys in a place where a touch typists fingers know where to find them.

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CERN team uses GPUs to discover if antimatter falls up, not down

Crisp
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I can totally see this working.

Machines may be better placed to discover chunks of data that the scientists weren't expecting or even looking for.

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UK cops: Keep yer golden doubloons, ad folk. Yon websites belong ta PIRATES

Crisp
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"We are not making the IWL public."

Then how am I supposed to check to see if any of my websites are on it?

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