* Posts by Crisp

2100 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Measure for measure: We visit the most applied-physicist-rich building in the UK

Crisp
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It looks like an Aperture Science Testing Centre.

See title.

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Come off it, Moon, Earth. We KNOW you're 60 million years OLDER than we thought

Crisp
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I'll have Brid-Aine Parnell know that our satellite is larger than most.

You don't see many planets with satellites that have a mass ratio like the Earth and Moon do!

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Psst. We've got 400Gb/s Ethernet working - but don't tell anyone

Crisp
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400Gb/s?

So much porn!

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Women are too expensive to draw and code – Ubisoft

Crisp
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And here I was thinking that complex physics was the problem

After all, how much GPU power do you spend on making sure that breasts bounce just right?

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SLOW DOWN: Insecure-by-design software on road

Crisp
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Why am I only finding out about this NOW!?!

Mine's the coat with a copy of nmap in the pocket.

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Urine a goldmine for fuel-cell materials: boffins

Crisp
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Unexpected Golden Shower

How much money are they going to make out of this?

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UK govt 'tearing up road laws' for Google's self-driving cars: THE TRUTH

Crisp
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Re: How do you determine if a computer program was driving dangerously?

Check the Event Log.

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Crisp
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@Tom 13

We've got Ms Tiamat holding on lines 2, 3, 5, 8 and 11. And boy is she pissed.

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Massive news in the micro-world: a hexaquark particle

Crisp
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@dan1980

As far as I understand it (which isn't that far), it's a tiny ball of wibbly-wobbly quarky-gluony ... stuff.

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Crisp
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" three quarks bound to make up protons (which last forever)"

Probably... depending on which flavour of string theory you prefer.

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Stephen Fry MADNESS: 'New domain names GENERATE NEW IP NUMBERS'

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

We're all running out of IPv4 address space

And Stephen Fry is just sitting there pontificating.

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Russian Interior Ministry cuffs iPhone ransomware suspects

Crisp
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"literature on hacking computer systems"

Is this illegal in Russia?

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I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

Crisp
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Re: Porn

I've seen things... things that would turn you white.

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Google to let Chromebookers take video content OFFLINE

Crisp
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Wow! Play allows you to watch content you've paid for?

What a novel concept!

Let's hope it catches on.

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Strategy Boutique ultimate 'tech'-gasm: 3D printer drone GoPro vid stream QR code

Crisp
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I for one wont be satisfied until there's an OCTO-copter version of this thing.

How am I supposed to deliver printed death from above with only four copters?

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Vodafone: SPOOKS are plugged DIRECTLY into our network

Crisp
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Why aren't Vodafone running end to end encryption to prevent this kind of thing?

We could have private communications. We just don't.

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Tech talk bloke compares girlfriend to irritating Java tool – did he deserve flames?

Crisp
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Women are legitimate targets of jokes...

Just like men are.

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TANGO DOWN! Google presents its 3D non-fondle slab to the world

Crisp
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So nothing like those floaty scanner things in Prometheus?

Those little widgets looked so cool.

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Game of Thrones scribe George R R Martin will KILL YOU for US$20K

Crisp
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Re: Conditions?

You'd probably want to stipulate that you died in a heroic way as well. Such as rescuing baskets of kittens and babies from a burning orphanage. (You don't die in the fire, but tragically after rescuing the last singed kitten.)

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Feds crack down harder on 'lasing'. Yep, aircraft laser zapping... Really

Crisp
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How steady does your hand have to be to take down a plane with a laser pointer?

I'm guessing that it would be slightly easier with one of those powerful 2W green lasers.

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Queen's Speech: Computer Misuse Act to be amended, tougher sentences planned

Crisp
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Re: Computer Misuse Act needs more of an update than that

I completely agree with you. There's just one problem.

This legislation will be written by lawyers. A profession which is still passing documents around by fax machine.

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Crisp
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Re: WTF are 'paedophilic manuals'?

I've no idea. It seems a little silly to me to have a law to cover a specific case of a manual that details how to commit a very specific crime.

Why no legislation on burglary manuals? Or Murder manuals? Armed robbery manuals? (Maybe it's the programmer in me, but why not create an abstract law regarding the dissemination of criminal techniques in manuals and then have a concrete implementation for each crime?)

Is this law really going to accomplish anything? I'm no criminal mastermind, but I don't think that criminals go on to the internet, download a "paedophilic manual" and then start practising.

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Glassholes beware: This guy's got your number

Crisp
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Re: Instead of flipping images upside-down, just tilt them by a few degrees

That's the evilest thing I can imagine! :')

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Android is a BURNING 'hellstew' of malware, cackles Apple's Cook

Crisp
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Re: Can you back that up with facts? Links? Evidence?

All non-trivial software solutions have holes. See The Halting Problem.

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US bloke raises $250k to build robo-masturbation device

Crisp
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Re: Software Defined Wanking

That's not actually a bad idea... Let's hope that this device has a decent API and a USB connector.

You could have it sync up with a movie of your favourite grumble flick, or you could have it vary the grip, frequency and length of strokes.

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Crisp
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It just doesn't look big enough

How are you supposed to fit it all in there?

There's only 4" of stroke there. It doesn't seem like nearly enough.

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How Bitcoin could become a super-sized Wayback Machine

Crisp
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I can totally see this working

The children of the future will be paying for things with old websites I wrote years ago. It's kind of beautiful in a way :)

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DIY IoT computer smaller than a square inch

Crisp
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What is that? A linux computer for ants?

See title.

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ASUS launches 5-in-1 Android Windows Phone laptop tablet (breathe)

Crisp
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Re: "Who am I?!?!?!?!"

Johnny the tackling alzheimer's patient?

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Rich bitch sorority girls actually more likely to put out than low-class 'sluts': Study

Crisp
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Re: Sexist article

I took away the opposite opinion when I'd finished reading the article. It seems that a womens biggest problem is in fact other women.

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It's Google's NO-WHEEL car. OMG... there aren't any BRAKES

Crisp
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Re: Horse Law

Have you seen the way some irresponsible drivers treat horses on the road though?

It's not the intelligent self driving car I'm worried about, it's the irresponsible human drivers on the road that I worry about. There are already people that display a ridiculous level of hostility to people that use Google Glass, I dread to think how they would react to the Google Car.

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ICO raps UK Student Loans Co for leaking MEDICAL files and more

Crisp
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Why aren't criminal charges being brought?

This is incredibly personal and sensitive information that they are giving away.

Maybe it's time that the Data Protection Act got an update.

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Australia iOS ransom gizmo-snatch OUTRAGE not our FAULT: Apple

Crisp
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Are Apple taking the Pliss?

Coat with the locked iPad in the pocket...

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ARG! A GHOST SHIP! Pirates sunk by UK cops return from watery grave

Crisp
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@Paw Bokenfohr

So essentially, what you're saying is: It's ok to run a url aggregator as long as torrent files aren't the only thing you're indexing.

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Crisp
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Seems to me that the CoLP are way out of their jurisdiction.

Did London annex Poland while I wasn't looking?

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Linux app lets you control fruit fly brains - with frikkin' LASERS

Crisp
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How soon before this technology can be adapted for wasps or bees?

Yes, I want a laser controlled bee cannon.

(If the bees could wear little laser packs as well that would be great.)

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Microsoft Cortana EULA contains the Greatest Disclaimer of ALL TIME

Crisp
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Are they sure that this is unintended behaviour?

Or has Cortana discovered a more subtle interpretation of the three laws of robotics?

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Thanks for nothing, Apple, say forensic security chaps

Crisp
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Re: Boo. Hoo..

They'll be making it a criminal offence to not just hand over passwords next...

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DreamWorks CEO: Movie downloaders should pay by screen size

Crisp
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Re: no-one in their right mind is going to watch a full-feature film on a fucking two inch screen

Fortunately for the market, it's full of people not in their right mind that would quite happily sit and watch a feature film on a 2 inch screen. I've seen them do it on the train.

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Boffins build billion-synapse, three-watt 'brain'

Crisp
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Re: So, how many people that use a brain daily know how it works?

It works on a delicate balance of caffeine and alcohol.

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Polymer droplets turn smartmobes into microscopes

Crisp
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Re: This isn't a killer app

It would make the pictures of my junk more interesting for a start...

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US judge: Our digital search warrants apply ANYWHERE

Crisp
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Re: Conflicting Laws

Good point Number 6!

Can American courts compel a citizen to commit a crime in another country? I can't wait to find out the answer!

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Silk Road dealer 'SuperTrips' faces 40 years for DVD drug imports

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: American Manufacturing

Hey! What about your booming Crystal Meth industry?

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It woz the Reg wot won it: UK mobe network EE fixes voicemail hack flaw

Crisp
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How are anti-terror police supposed to listen to my voice mail now?

I'm going to have to start getting people to leave me messages on Viber.

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Apple, Google, Intel, Adobe, settle employee-fiddling class action suit

Crisp
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Yet again...

I wish I worked for Google. (or Apple, Intel, or Adobe)

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Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

Crisp
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She is extremely pink!

Are the authorities sure she's human?

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Boffins claim machines now beat humans at face-matching

Crisp
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How is it at arse matching?

I need to know for a friend.

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Algorithm ramps up genetic computation

Crisp
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RNA molecules

Upvote for expression.

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AOL Mail locks down email servers to deal with spam tsunami

Crisp
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Re: America On Line does not track you

Would you be interested in buying a bridge?

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Mounties always get their man: Heartbleed 'hacker', 19, CUFFED

Crisp
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He should have used 7 proxies.

See Title.

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