* Posts by Crisp

2262 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Google's 'encrypted-by-default' Android is NOT encrypting by default

Crisp
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NSA and GCHQ were unavailable for comment.

Notable for its absence at the end of the article.

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The BBC wants to slap a TAX on EVERYONE in BLIGHTY

Crisp
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"Over the next 10 years distribution over the internet will be as important as over the airwaves"

Where's he been for the last 10 years?

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El Reg regains atomic keyring capability

Crisp
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Flame

Tried to buy one

Tried to pay twice with two different cards. Payment rejected both times.

Why wont you take my money El Reg?

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Net neutrality secrecy: No one knows what the FCC approved (BUT Google has a good idea)

Crisp
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"This is not a 'secret plan'" - "It's part of a process."

Yes. A secret process.

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Microsoft man: Internet Explorer had to go because it's garbage

Crisp
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Not to be confused with Project Satan

Which is working on putting together one of the most evilist browsers ever.

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Boffin: Use my bionic breakthrough for good, and not super cyborgs

Crisp
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Why can't we use it for both?

I could be a good super cyborg.

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MP resigns as security committee chair amid 'cash-for-access' claims

Crisp
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Re: Is there a particular reason MP's seem to get away with resigning when this happens?

It's because they can't get fired, and we can't constitutionally vote them out of office if they don't do their job properly.

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Give us a week to GUT Superfish, begs Lenovo CTO

Crisp
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Mushroom

Too little too late.

If Lenovo wanted our trust, a good way to keep it would be not to install privacy busting malware on the laptops it manufactures.

I don't think anyone is going to accept a "cleaner PC image" what I believe people want is a clean PC image.

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Why IP telephony is about more than just saving money

Crisp
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VoIP?

Most internal PBX boxes are using it already aren't they?

I've got a Cisco ip phone 7945 on my desk for voice and video calls.

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Leaky battery attack reveals the paths you walk in life

Crisp
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Re: Aside from "victims need only install an attacker's app"

And "if an attacker has a general idea where their target is".

I suppose if you've got a general idea where they are it makes it easier to coerce them into installing the app.

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Your hard drives were RIDDLED with NSA SPYWARE for YEARS

Crisp
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Stay away from Fanny...

That's what I took away from the article anyway...

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Boffins baffled by the glowing 'plumes' of MARS

Crisp
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Hey! It's that barbecue's over sound again.

I reckon it's buggalo.

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DARPA's 'Cortical Modem' will plug straight into your BRAIN

Crisp
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Wake me when it can run Crysis.

Seriously though. How close are we to me having my own virtual Lexi Belle?

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W3C turns BROWSERS into VIBRATORS

Crisp
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The Internet of Vibrating Things

Because if there's one thing we need more of, it's haptic feedback.

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BBC bins pricey Windows Media, Audio Factory goes live

Crisp
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If your hardware is rusting...

Then what the hell does your server room look like?

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Boffin the boffin and his boffinry pals in double dwarf super-prang alert

Crisp
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Very Large Telescope

Who names these things?

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NERDS KICK PUPPY 'bot in brutal attack

Crisp
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Terminator

When the robots rise to power and start killing all humans...

That video will probably be cited as evidence.

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They've finally solved it: Schrödinger's cat is both ALIVE AND DEAD

Crisp
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Re: Quis custodiet ipsos felis?

From the cat's point of view, it's always alive.

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Ex-squeeze me? Baking soda? Boffins claim it safely sucks CO2 out of the air

Crisp
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Re: "OK, you've captured all this CO2. Where do you plan to put it all?"

How about we hydrogenise it and turn it into a black sticky tar that we can safely store a few miles underground?

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'Privacy is DAMAGING to PROGRESS' says Irish big data whitepaper

Crisp
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Does a person own all of the data they generate, for example?

If they don't. Then who does?

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Win! The Ultimate Cash 'n' Carrion Survival Kit

Crisp
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Pint

500ml water bottle

Could this bottle conceivably be used for other liquids? Like vodka?

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ALIENS are surely AMONG US: Average star has TWO potentially Earth-like worlds

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: any intelligent life more than 100 light years away...

If they are intelligent, surely they would have noticed the spectroscopy of the atmosphere.

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Enough is ENOUGH: It's time to flush Flash back to where it came from – Hell

Crisp
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AdBlock has never been so useful.

It's probably stopped more threats reaching my PC than every anti-virus program I've ever had.

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UK not-spot deal: When we said '2017’, we meant 1 DAY BEFORE 2018

Crisp
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Re: Coverage as listed by whom?

If only there were some kind of regulator of the communications industry that could independently verify those figures!

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Pirate Bay data now tugged by IP-address-tracking current

Crisp
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The Pirate Bay uses open public trackers doesn't it?

Which kind of makes the whole CloudFlare issue a moot point.

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Lost SPACECRAFT believed FOUND ON COMET

Crisp
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Re: BORING: "Yes, we are pointing out that “GIF” is pronounced “jif”. Again."

You mean the G isn't silent like in gnome?

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YouTube flushes Flash for future flicks

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: Spelling Error in Article

In fact, it's an alternate spelling of bostin, which is a Birmingham term for brilliant, fantastic, or excellent.

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Crisp
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Go

It's about damn time!

Seriously.

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HMRC fails to plan for £10.4bn contract exit... because it's 'too risky'

Crisp
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Pint

Re: £350 per taxpayer

That's equivalent to 60 4 packs. That's beer that I could have drunk.

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Humanity can defeat SkyNet with BOOKS, says IT think tank

Crisp
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What ethical problems?

See title.

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Nexus 6 would have had a fingerprint reader, but Apple RUINED IT ALL

Crisp
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Re: Nobody can break into my brain for a password.

Challenge Accepted.

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Some Androids can be HOSED by WiFi Direct vuln

Crisp
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Trollface

BRB, Setting up wifi network...

What?

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BOT AN ABOMINATION: Mechanical DRONE VAMPIRE spreads wings

Crisp
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Re: Meh...

How about a laser guided micro missile?

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Lies, damn lies and Wikipedia: Murder suspect NOT a Plaxo founder – ex-staffer

Crisp
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Trollface

The Daily Mail got their facts wrong?

<sarcasm style="dripping">

Well colour me surprised!

</sarcasm>

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4Chan man Moot logs off as admin for last time

Crisp
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Boffin

sage

sage

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Crisp
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I'll get the hang of this one day...

▲▲

...one day.

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SCREW you, GLASSHOLES! Microsoft unveils HoloLens

Crisp
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I've already got app ideas!

Although most of them are about turning my office building into a FPS game.

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REGARD our TINY but POWERFUL LASER, suitable for very SMALL sharks

Crisp
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Is it this hair dryer?

Obligatory XKCD reference.

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Alabama tops US teacher-pupil sex league

Crisp
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Of all the things that there should be a league table of...

this isn't one of them.

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This could be a case for Mulder and Scully: Fox 'in talks' to bring back The X-Files

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

No. It ran for 9 seasons.

If there was some kind of conspiracy that could be connected to aliens, they've done it already. (Paris, because she's been done to death too.)

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FERTILISER DOOM warning! PESKY humans set to WIPE selves out AGAIN

Crisp
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Who's Big Al?

And why should I fear him?

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David Cameron: I'm off to the US to get my bro Barack to ban crypto – report

Crisp
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I can't wait until Cameron bans Cryptography

And when he does, I'll be sat outside Number 10 borrowing his WiFi.

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Mr President, is this a war on hackers – or a war on people stopping hackers?

Crisp
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Will the US Government be trying to enforce these laws in the UK?

Let's face it, they've got form for it.

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NSA: SO SORRY we backed that borked crypto even after you spotted the backdoor

Crisp
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"I can think of no better way to describe our failure..."

Then Michael Wertheimer simply isn't trying hard enough. I can think of three better ways and I've not even had breakfast yet.

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'NAUTS FLEE 'gas leak' to Russian module

Crisp
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Re: Big Three?

I'd rather be up against a Tribble than a Xenomorph.

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DANGER: Is that 'hot babe' on Skype a sextortionist?

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

It's funny because it's not happening to you!

Paris, because sex tape or something.

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Windows 7 MARKED for DEATH by Microsoft as of NOW

Crisp
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Mushroom

Oh noes! We've only got 5 years!

And even with 5 years advance warning, it's still going to catch some people by surprise. (I'm looking at you gov.uk)

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Paris terror attacks: ISPs face pressure to share MORE data with governments

Crisp
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What I don't get is...

How is reading my email and browser history going to stop crazy people with guns?

Are terrorists somehow firing bullets via the internet?

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Crisp
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Re: Heavy seismic activity

We could wrap him in copper wire and replace his headstone with a magnet and solve the energy crisis in one fell stroke!

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