* Posts by Crisp

2235 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

YouTube flushes Flash for future flicks

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: Spelling Error in Article

In fact, it's an alternate spelling of bostin, which is a Birmingham term for brilliant, fantastic, or excellent.

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Crisp
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Go

It's about damn time!

Seriously.

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HMRC fails to plan for £10.4bn contract exit... because it's 'too risky'

Crisp
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Pint

Re: £350 per taxpayer

That's equivalent to 60 4 packs. That's beer that I could have drunk.

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Humanity can defeat SkyNet with BOOKS, says IT think tank

Crisp
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What ethical problems?

See title.

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Nexus 6 would have had a fingerprint reader, but Apple RUINED IT ALL

Crisp
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Re: Nobody can break into my brain for a password.

Challenge Accepted.

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Some Androids can be HOSED by WiFi Direct vuln

Crisp
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Trollface

BRB, Setting up wifi network...

What?

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BOT AN ABOMINATION: Mechanical DRONE VAMPIRE spreads wings

Crisp
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Re: Meh...

How about a laser guided micro missile?

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Lies, damn lies and Wikipedia: Murder suspect NOT a Plaxo founder – ex-staffer

Crisp
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Trollface

The Daily Mail got their facts wrong?

<sarcasm style="dripping">

Well colour me surprised!

</sarcasm>

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4Chan man Moot logs off as admin for last time

Crisp
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Boffin

sage

sage

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Crisp
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Coat

I'll get the hang of this one day...

▲▲

...one day.

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SCREW you, GLASSHOLES! Microsoft unveils HoloLens

Crisp
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I've already got app ideas!

Although most of them are about turning my office building into a FPS game.

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REGARD our TINY but POWERFUL LASER, suitable for very SMALL sharks

Crisp
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Is it this hair dryer?

Obligatory XKCD reference.

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Alabama tops US teacher-pupil sex league

Crisp
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Of all the things that there should be a league table of...

this isn't one of them.

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This could be a case for Mulder and Scully: Fox 'in talks' to bring back The X-Files

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

No. It ran for 9 seasons.

If there was some kind of conspiracy that could be connected to aliens, they've done it already. (Paris, because she's been done to death too.)

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FERTILISER DOOM warning! PESKY humans set to WIPE selves out AGAIN

Crisp
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Who's Big Al?

And why should I fear him?

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David Cameron: I'm off to the US to get my bro Barack to ban crypto – report

Crisp
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I can't wait until Cameron bans Cryptography

And when he does, I'll be sat outside Number 10 borrowing his WiFi.

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Mr President, is this a war on hackers – or a war on people stopping hackers?

Crisp
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Will the US Government be trying to enforce these laws in the UK?

Let's face it, they've got form for it.

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NSA: SO SORRY we backed that borked crypto even after you spotted the backdoor

Crisp
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"I can think of no better way to describe our failure..."

Then Michael Wertheimer simply isn't trying hard enough. I can think of three better ways and I've not even had breakfast yet.

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'NAUTS FLEE 'gas leak' to Russian module

Crisp
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Re: Big Three?

I'd rather be up against a Tribble than a Xenomorph.

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DANGER: Is that 'hot babe' on Skype a sextortionist?

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

It's funny because it's not happening to you!

Paris, because sex tape or something.

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Windows 7 MARKED for DEATH by Microsoft as of NOW

Crisp
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Mushroom

Oh noes! We've only got 5 years!

And even with 5 years advance warning, it's still going to catch some people by surprise. (I'm looking at you gov.uk)

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Paris terror attacks: ISPs face pressure to share MORE data with governments

Crisp
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What I don't get is...

How is reading my email and browser history going to stop crazy people with guns?

Are terrorists somehow firing bullets via the internet?

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Crisp
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Re: Heavy seismic activity

We could wrap him in copper wire and replace his headstone with a magnet and solve the energy crisis in one fell stroke!

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Hawking and friends: Artificial Intelligence 'must do what we want it to do'

Crisp
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"Our AI systems must do what we want them to do"

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the following prediction:

AI will do what we told it to do, not what we want it to do.

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IBM hastens END OF HUMANITY with teachable AI 'brain'

Crisp
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What exactly was the human error rate?

Enquiring minds need to know!

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Burglars' delight no more: Immobilise UK secures property list

Crisp
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"a thorough review of records revealed no evidence of irregular usage"

That's only really meaningful if they keep thorough records.

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It's 2015 and ATMs don't know when a daughterboard is breaking them

Crisp
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Re: Outdated stereotypes

Frankie, ya broke the unwritten law. Ya ratted on your friends. You do that, Frankie, your enemies don't respect ya. You got no friends no more. You got nobody ...

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SpaceX: CATS with FRIKKIN' LASERS to blast off to space station

Crisp
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Re: Is the barge KA-BOOM-proof?

If you hear an Earth Shattering KA-BOOM at about 11:40, you'll have your answer.

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Siri, are you afraid of Facebook's new speech recognition tech?

Crisp
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Re: Because Facebook must crush the world

With their, erm, social media platform. content free advertising platform.

FTFY

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Saudi Arabia hires 'ethical hackers' to silence smut slingers

Crisp
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Will the West retaliate?

By hacking Saudi sites and putting porn on them?

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Sony Pictures hit by 'fightback on filesharers' DDoS claims – report

Crisp
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How many illegal things does Sony have to do before they are taken to court?

I'm still surprised that they got away with the rootkit thing without a single jail term being handed out.

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No, I won't SNORKEL in your server room at STUPID-O'CLOCK

Crisp
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Re: 2) Get caught when bad decision leads to millions in lost money

One hardly ever gets caught. By the time the basement floods, they've moved on to mismanage some other project.

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Bitcoin exec gets two years over illegal Silk Road funny money trading

Crisp
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Charlie Shrem gets jailed for helping criminals launder money

And HSBC get away with it scott free.

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Space Commanders lock missiles on Elite's Frontier Devs

Crisp
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Boffin

Trickier than docking with a space station without a docking computer?

If you can't dock your craft manually then you shouldn't be in space!

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UK air traffic bods deny they 'skimped' on IT investment after server mega-fail

Crisp
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Now it's been officially denied...

You know it's true.

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TorrentLocker ransomware pestilence plagues Europe, bags $500k

Crisp
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Re: you can't kill someone over standard tcp/ip...

Not easily...

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Pirate Bay towed to oldpiratebay.org

Crisp
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Re: links to smut...

"Which we did not click on."

Sure...

So exactly how smutty was the stuff you didn't click on?

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Denmark BANNED from viewing UK furniture website in copyright spat

Crisp
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Re: Paul McCartney?

I thought it was to protect Cliff Richard.

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

Crisp
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Geneva Convention

So it's ok to throw hunks of lead at a human, or set them on fire, or blow them up with explosives; but vaporising them with a laser is out of the question?

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Car-crash IT: HUGE write-off for Universal Credit - PAC

Crisp
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I was watching Yes Minister last night

Glad to see that it hasn't dated in the slightest.

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Govt spaffs £170k to develop the INTERNET OF SHEEP

Crisp
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Re: Sheep puns?

Get the flock out of here.

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Mom and daughter SUE Comcast for 'smuggling' public Wi-Fi hotspot into their home

Crisp
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Re: If one were so inclined

It would probably be quite trivial to not only set up a box with a familiar BT or Comcast SSID that not only provided poor service, but could also be used to slurp authentication (and other) data from the connected device.

I imagine setting up a WiFi trap like that would break a law or two somewhere. Although I once heard of a guy that got so annoyed with his neighbours sneaking onto his router that he invented the upside-down-ternet

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Sacre block! French publishers to sue Adblock maker – report

Crisp
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Adblock is an essential application

Mostly due to dodgy flash adverts that can cripple a low-end machine.

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GOOGLE is COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREN

Crisp
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Never work with children or animals.

Guaranteeing safety is going to be a difficult job. Even for Google.

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SCIENCE LAB TERROR: MYSTERY of the MISSING BRAINS

Crisp
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Re: Brains?

Brains.... brains? Eurghhhh,,,,, Brains.

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Orion 'Mars' ship: Cosmic ray guard? Go. Parachutes? Go. Spacerock shield? Go!

Crisp
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Re: Anyone produced it in Kerbal yet?

I was just thinking the exact same thing.

We're all going to be screwed when the KSP team implement re-entry properly. At the moment, you can return from the Mün and slam into Kerbal at 3 Kps with a 90 degree angle and still survive.

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Sinclair is back with the Spectrum Vega ... just as rubbish as the ZX

Crisp
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Re: Pfffttt

You're going to need a J key to LOAD games as well.

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Sony Pictures struggles as staff details, salaries and films leaked

Crisp
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Re: "Popped the company"

In this context, it means to hit or to strike.

It's a British thing. We use the word pop for a variety of stuff.

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Man asks internet for $1k for pebbles. INTERNET SAYS YES

Crisp
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Coat

No Scotch on the Rocks joke?

Ok, I'm going...

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Wireless Power standards are like Highlanders: There can be only ONE

Crisp
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How does Kamil Grajski expect to be taken seriously?

He's not even wearing a t-shirt.

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