* Posts by Crisp

2852 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

BT Openreach boss QUITS to quench ambitious thirst

Crisp

Severn Trent

I walk past three Severn Trent leaks on my way to work every morning. They have been there for at least 2 years.

Unless Liv Garfield is handy with a wrench, I don't see Severn Trent's shareholders gaining anything from this.

Build your own WORKING Sonic Screwdriver... for a UNDER A FIVER

Crisp

Sonic Screwdriver? Who uses those any more?

I want to see El Reg's article on building your own laser screwdriver!

File-NUKING Cryptolocker PC malware MENACES 'TENS of MILLIONS' in UK

Crisp

What is the UK National Crime Agency doing about this besides sending out warnings?

Because, let's face it: my little sister could do that.

Apple, for one, welcomes its ROBOT factory OVERLORDS

Crisp

"restricted substances and green chemistry"

It's exactly as dodgy as it sounds!

Nice job title though :) What's the pay like?

Dark HEAVY METAL star fires up jets, vomits hot ROCK into space

Crisp

Re: mining

I don't know. Get a tight beam microwave transmitter, aim it at Earth and in a few thousand years, free electricity for all!

Murdoch stands between your kids and filth with BSkyB network-level SHIELD

Crisp

No Technical Details?

How does this filter work exactly?

Are they analysing every packet? Is it a DNS block? Some sort of URL filter?

How far does this network level filter go?

So many unanswered questions.

Coroner suggests cars should block mobile phones

Crisp

Re: Using a phone while driving?

Yeah, but what if all the dumb people in cars talking on their mobile phone run over all the smart people?

Before you know it, we've all got the average IQ of the Houses of Parliament.

How d'ya make a JPMorgan banker cry? Ask him questions on Twitter

Crisp

That wasn't trolling.

That was Great Justice!

Smartphone addicts go floppy under the sheets, warns DOCTOR WANG

Crisp

Mr Floppy?

No! Not the Melty Man!

Quantum computer in world record qubit stunner

Crisp

Re: What can you do with a single qubit?

You'd think a single bit of information would be totally useless too. But then where would we be without light switches?

Canadian teens cuffed over alleged Snapchat child sex pics ring

Crisp

The boys would probably be getting done for creating child porn as well then.

Want to BUILD YOUR OWN Tardis? First, get a star and set it spinning...

Crisp

Re: c as a constant

Because there's an awful lot of other things we can test that depend on c being a constant. For example: the fine structure constant Alpha, and the decay rate of Cobalt 56 (see the observations of SN1987A).

Crisp

Imagine space-time is like a huge rubber sheet.

Space-time is easily wiped clean and wont let anything stain your mattress?

The truth about mystery Trojan found in space

Crisp

Trojans in space

I immediately thought of those asteroids that float around Lagrangian points.

MIT boffins show off spooky human action at a distance

Crisp

Re: Cool.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

Microsoft fears XP could cause Indian BANKOCALYPSE

Crisp

Re: MS ARE offering extended support

Well to be fair, the banks can afford it.

But if they can afford that, then they can afford to get their IT affairs in order.

BT jabbed by ad watchdog AGAIN over fibre deployment fibs

Crisp

It's getting to the point where you're better off assuming everything BT say is a lie

BT simply cannot be trusted to give a straight answer

MPAA, RIAA: Kids need to learn 3 Rs – reading, writing and NO RIPPING

Crisp

Re: Let's generalise this a bit

Who says advertising doesn't work!? :D

Crisp

The MPAA and RIAA are pitching the idea of grooming kids early?

Did no one at those groups stop to think about the unfortunate implications of this?

Chinese Bitcoin exchange disappears, along with £2.5m

Crisp
Pint

And beer according to Alex Brett @16:28

Crisp

@Cliff

Are you saying that I should move my money out of HSBC?

Crisp

Communist Governments

They know how to keep their troublemakers in line!

Boffins boggled by ORB-shaped electrons

Crisp

Re: Nature loves to do idle integration

The proof is left as an exercise for the universe.

Right royal rumpus over remote-control 'RoboRoach'

Crisp

Cyborg Cockroaches?

I think I'm going to need a bigger can of Raid!

Blighty's banks prep for repeated kicks to cyber-'nads in Operation Waking Shark II

Crisp

How is this a fair test?

In the real world, you wouldn't necessarily know an attack is coming, or where it would be directed.

I doubt this "attack" will employ any techniques that the defending staff haven't specifically been told to prepare for.

Martian MOM LAYS another EGG in SPACE - but it's not big enough

Crisp

That's not a slingshot!

That's a Hohmann transfer!

Rogue US-Israeli cyberwar weapon 'infected Russian nuclear plant'

Crisp

Re: Flash

Ahhhhhh Hhhhhhha!

Crisp

Well we know who built Stuxnet

I suggest that the governments affected sue the perpetrators from orbit. This kind of collateral damage could have been prevented had the original developers actually targeted their attack.

Google patent: THROAT TATTOO with lie-detecting mobe microphone built-in

Crisp

Lie detector? Galvanic skin response?

Someone at Google/Motorola doesn't know how the human body works apparently.

Boffins build R2-WEE-2: The urine-powered robot with a human-like heart

Crisp

Re: "I need your clothes, your boots..."

And a urine sample.

Latest global menace: ELECTROPULSE NORKS, apparently

Crisp
Mushroom

EMP's? Just like in Red Dawn?

WOLVERINES!

The CURSE of WHO: WHY has there never been a decent videogame with the Doctor?

Crisp

What about that game with the sonic screwdriver?

You know, that one you could get on Linux desktops. Where all the darleks chased you around the screen.

Someone must know what I'm on about.

You've been arrested for computer crime: Here's what happens next

Crisp

Image hash database

Is this publicly available so that sysadmins can run preventative measures?

SCIENCE and RELIGION AGREE! LIFE and Man ARE from CLAY

Crisp

Highly developed organisms such as Register readers?

[Citation Needed]

Apple: How we slip YOUR data to govts – but, hey, we're not Google

Crisp

How exactly is this helping to fight "terrorism"?

Are the NSA really that interested in my high score on Plants Vs Zombies?

Apple patents technology to STALK YOU in your own HOME

Crisp

A person can set a schedule controlling the heating or cooling of his house.

I'm pretty sure I already have a device in my house that's doing that right at the moment.

And my oven already has a timer on it.

Thought you didn't need to show ID in the UK? Wrong

Crisp

That's Theresa May for you.

She can't get her own house in order (remember that fiasco with her border staff just letting everyone through because they were "under staffed"), so she's very neatly trying to sweep the problem under someone elses rug.

Most landlords have a hard enough time maintaining their properties. They have neither the time, nor the qualifications to verify the identity and eligibility of someone to stay in the UK. Hell, if the Home Office itself can't figure out who's legally entitled to live in the UK, how is a landlord?

10 Types of IT managers from hell

Crisp

Re: Yup. That's me.

I am at work.

My code's compiling.

Tim Cook stands firmly behind pro-LGBT, anti-discrimination law

Crisp

Nice to see America catching up to the rest of the civilised world.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal" seems like a nice place to start. I read that in a declaration of independence somewhere.

If you're not paying, you're product: If you ARE paying, it's no better

Crisp

Possessions are fleeting

And so it would seem, is data.

UK.gov BANS iPads from Cabinet over foreign eavesdropper fears

Crisp

Better late than never Gov.UK

In future, I recommend closing the stable door before the horse has bolted.

Win XP? Your PLAGUE risk is SIX times that of Win 8 - NOW

Crisp
Trollface

Re: Maths fail.

Well done. Have .1 of a cake.

Crisp

Re: Is that...

That's because anyone running XP 64-bit has to be a freaking wizard to get any drivers to work with it!

Nokia wins UK patent spat: Quick, let's boot HTC One out of Blighty

Crisp

Re: Oh my

I full support the call for a George Takei Icon.

(even though George Takei is an icon)

HTC phone STOPS BULLET, saves Florida gas station clerk's life

Crisp

That is freaking AWESOME!

And good to know that in a pinch, my HTC can be used as a bullet proof vest panel.

HP fires sue-ray at makers of Blu-Ray

Crisp

Yeah, you can guarantee that we're already being gouged by the current price fixing scandal that will only come to light in 2020.

Fleet of driverless pods to take over Milton Keynes town centre

Crisp

£2 per journey?

Why so much? Is each pod equipped with a mini bar and a monkey butler?

Syrian Electronic Army claims Obama social media hijacking

Crisp

I'd have thought that the President would have had better security

If they skimp on security to the point where a bunch of script kiddies can crack his accounts, I wonder what the rest of their security is like?

You could probably break into the White House if you know which rock they hide the front door key under.

Call yourself a 'hacker', watch your ex-boss seize your PC without warning

Crisp

Necessary computer skills and intent

Hang on. Hacker == Intent?

Is having the necessary computer skills really the same as going equipped to cause damage?