* Posts by Crisp

2484 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Sophos U-turns on lack of .bat file blocking after El Reg intervenes

Crisp
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Re: ren virus.csv virus.exe

rem Use .cmd extension to bypass .bat filter.

copy con script.cmd

ren virus.csv virus.exe

^z

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Dyfed-Powys Police fined for publicising pervs' particulars

Crisp
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Why don't we have a register of all criminals?

I can understand people wanting to know if someone in their community has a predilection for sex offences, but what about other offences that affect the community?

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EU referendum frenzy bazookas online voter registration. It's another #GovtDigiShambles

Crisp
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Why isn't this cloud based?

And why didn't additional servers come online as demand increased?

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Arrests for 'offensive' Twitter and Facebook messages up by a third

Crisp
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Re: Please don't tell the Metropolitan Police about 4chan.

I knew it! The Register is full of oldfags.

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Crisp
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Please don't tell the Metropolitan Police about 4chan.

We just don't have enough lawyers and jail space.

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Trouble originating between chair and keyboard caused most UK breaches

Crisp
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Sadly this comes too late for any kid with a VTech product.

Or T-Mobile customers.

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ISS pump-up space podule fully engorged

Crisp
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That's reality for you...

It's frequently unrealistic.

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Seattle Suehawks: Smart meter hush-up launched because, er ... terrorism

Crisp
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Oh good, security by obscurity.

If obscurity is that important, I'd hazard a guess that there's next to no security at all.

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Third of US banks OK with passwords even social networks reject

Crisp
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Why am I stuck using a 10 character password in 2016 for most sites?

I should be able to have a password as long as this post if it is required, and must contain letters.

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US schoolkids deploy Earth-watching CubeSat

Crisp
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Re: A medal blessed by the Pope?

I understand that it's a religious school. That's plain to see.

If they just needed a religious afectation to send, why not a prayer written on paper. Or one of their wafers. Or just paint a + on the side. Why go to all the trouble of adding something big and heavy like a medal to the satellite?

Weight and it's distribution is important. More so in a cube sat I would imagine. It must be in there for a reason, or it's just taking up valuable space.

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Crisp
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A medal blessed by the Pope?

Is that for ballast?

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Vostochny cosmodrome caught on Soyuz rocketcam

Crisp
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PhysX glitch?

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HSBC swinging axe on UK IT department, 840 heads to roll

Crisp
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Can anyone recommend a good bank?

I'm taking my overdraft elsewhere!

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Curiosity find Mars' icecaps suck up its atmosphere

Crisp
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Mars is reliably cold

So pack a sweater?

Maybe two?

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Woz says 'Jobs started Apple for money' – then says it must pay 50% tax like he does

Crisp
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I thought that corporations were people in America

So surely they ought to be paying income tax as well?

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Google kneecaps payday loan ads

Crisp
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Google will be keeping the money they've made so far though...

Because once a payment has been deposited at the bank, it's no longer immoral.

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Label your cables: A cautionary tale from the server room

Crisp
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Re: How can you tell when a user is lying to you?

"Never believe a user"

Or to put it another way:

"Everybody Lies" - Dr G House.

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London NHS trust fined £180,000 after second bcc fail on HIV email list

Crisp
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Re: It's not accidental, it's ignorance.

In my experience ignorance leads to accidents.

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Hey, YouTube: Pay your 'workers' properly and get with the times

Crisp
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They are all millionaires

Is it really worth arguing over what fraction of a billion each of them gets?

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Siemens Healthcare struck by rebranding madness

Crisp
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Healthineers? Is that like a fungineer from Futurama?

I've never met anybody with a degree in healthineering.

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Windows 10 free upgrade offer ends on July 29th

Crisp
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If I upgrade to windows 10 and I don't like it

Will my Windows 7 installation still be valid?

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Cops deploy StingRay anti-terror tech against $50 chicken-wing thief

Crisp
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$56.77 Is approximately £39.19

For a few sandwiches and wings?

Were they dipped in gold?

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Brits who live in 'smart cities' don't really know or care

Crisp
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Boffin

What a fantastic lark!

1. Invent a new term no one has ever heard of.

2. Commission a report finding out no one's heard of it.

3. ????

4. Win £24,000,000

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Ultra-cool dwarf throws planetary party

Crisp
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Is this a place we could send a nano-probe to?

It would be interesting for my grandkids to find out if it's habitable or not.

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The case for ethical ad-blocking

Crisp
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Re: When is ad-blocking ethical?

It's my screen.

It displays what I want it to.

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Hackers so far ahead of defenders it's not even a game

Crisp
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Will management start to invest in security?

No. We really really need this feature right now and everyone needs to be able to use it. Can't you just stick a simple plaintext password on it for now and we'll come back to it later when we've got more time...

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Germans stick traffic lights in pavements for addicts who can't take their eyes off phones

Crisp
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Re: useless for the colour blind, who use the layout of the lights

I'm colour blind and believe it or not, we can see ruddy great big solid blocks of colour.

Picking red roses out of a green bush at a fair distance away is another story, but big massive lights? Not a problem.

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How to overcome objections that stop your enterprise from adopting DevOps

Crisp
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Re: I still have no idea what the fuck it is!

Imagine trying to fix the plane while you're still flying it.

That's DevOps!

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Ten years in the clink, file-sharing monsters! (If UK govt gets its way)

Crisp
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Re: Sub-prime mortgages weren't fraud

Yet HSBC's money laundering was most definitely a crime. And nobody went to prison for that either.

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Crisp
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How much is the IP Lobby paying for all this?

If our legal system is up for sale, we should at least make sure we get a good price for it. We don't want a repeat of the Royal Mail fiasco.

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New EU security strategy: Sod cyber terrorism, BAN ENCRYPTION

Crisp
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Re: Democratic Representation

MPs represent whoever last donated to the party coffers.

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The web is DOOM'd: Average page now as big as id's DOS classic

Crisp
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Re: Action Replay? You had it good!

Back when I had a ZX Spectrum I had to resort to writing my own bootloader just to poke in cheats!

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How IT are you? Find out now in our HILARIOUS quiz!

Crisp
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Re: Printer hassles option E

Obviously the right answer is :

Please print out a printer repair form, sign it and date it and send it to IT support.

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Admin fishes dirty office chat from mistyped-email bin and then ...?

Crisp
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He couldn't look her in the eye?

What the hell did she do?

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BOFH: If you liked it then you should've put the internet in it

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

Have you tried using a lubricant?

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Lauri Love backdoor forced-decryption case goes to court in UK

Crisp
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Re: "A physical lock may be simply and quickly broken open"

If it can be simply and quickly broken open then it's a pretty shitty lock isn't it?

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Ad slinger Phorm ceases trading

Crisp
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Re: Would it be bad phorm to gloat?

More puns? Packet in the pair of you!

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Britain is sending a huge nuclear waste shipment to America. Why?

Crisp
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Can't we refine the waste?

Then recycle the uranium that we can use and dispose of the unwanted waste separately.

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That naked picture on my PC? Not mine. The IT guy put it there

Crisp
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Re: Some of the IT guys can be just as silly

Jolly good idea! Then everybody can see who's been slacking whacking off :)

FTFY

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Crisp
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Re: Nobody here watch porn?

Not at work I don't.

(expect for work on one website, and believe me, it's not the dream job that it sounds like.)

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Large Hadron Collider gets 4,500 more data-crunching GPUs

Crisp
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4,500 Nvidia Pascal GPUs

Sod how many petaflops they're getting! What's their frame rate like?

(inb4 But can it run Crysis. (It obviously can.))

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There's oil in that thar … Chinese space probe?

Crisp
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Re: Another idea.

That's why we need to perform the experiment Oengus. To see if we can get anything useful out of them with higher pressures.

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Angry Vodafone customers spark Ofcom probe after phone bill overcharge snafu

Crisp
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Testing. Vodafone have heard of it.

But it's just something other people do.

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George Bush naked selfie hacker Guccifer gets his day in US court

Crisp
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Old-fashioned investigative work

What? So the good old US of A didn't need to snoop on everyone's data to find the guy?

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Spies rejoice! Gmail, Facebook Messenger BREACHed once again

Crisp
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More illustrations by Randall Munroe please.

Even if you have to lock him up in your basement.

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Bloaty banking app? There's a good chance it was written in Britain

Crisp
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I worked at a place once where we got a bonus based on LOC

After

a

few

weeks

of

trying

to

read

code

like

this

.

It was quietly dropped for some reason.

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'No regrets' says chap who felled JavaScript's Jenga tower – as devs ask: Have we forgotten how to code?

Crisp
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My counter argument to David Haney is as follows:

Have you seen what happens when your average programmer tries to roll his own date handling function? Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel, why not use something that actually works?

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IBM's 'neurosynaptic chip' to power nuke-watching exascale rig

Crisp
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Re: Skynet will not arrive

Thanks to that wikipedia link, and checking brain to body mass ratios I found this:

The bony-eared assfish.

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Crisp
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Re: 2.5 watts ? Really ?

Apparently both the cores and the on-chip network operate without clocking.

That, IBM says, is the key to the low power consumption in TrueNorth.

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Microsoft's bigoted teen bot flirts with illegali-Tay in brief comeback

Crisp
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They could have put that bot on 4chan

No one would have suspected a thing.

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