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* Posts by Crisp

2013 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Cops nab suspect using CREEPY facial recog system

Crisp
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Re: Latex Masks

Google Handsome Guy Human Mask.

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iSense something, a presence not felt since... Apple sketches fanboi-finding infrared sensors

Crisp
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Re: re. the stupidity of the USPTO

You are Dogbert, and I hereby claim my five pounds.

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British cops cuff 660 suspected paedophiles

Crisp
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Re: unlikely

But not unheard of. Wasn't there a morning TV presenter that got done by the police for that?

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German NSA probe chief mulls spy-busting typewriters

Crisp
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Re: Longevity, so far up to thousands of years.

Try hundreds. It you want it to last thousands of years, carve it in stone.

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Don't put that duffel bag full of cash in the hotel room safe

Crisp
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You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

Safe cracking has come a long way since the 60's.

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Google: Glass goggles are a 'fairly lousy surveillance device'

Crisp
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What does Andrew Paterson think Glass does?

Am I going to start having to worry about the Data Protection Act when I'm using my Android phone too?

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Unexpected Termination Error at Year of Code: Chief dumps venture for other UK.gov riches

Crisp
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What is Lottie Dexter qualified to advise people on?

Except how to avoid getting a proper job.

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'World’s dumbest' suspect collared in Facebook sting

Crisp
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Re: Do you seriously log into your home computer

Yes. Because there's stuff on there that I don't want my children to see.

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Star Wars museum to land in Chicago

Crisp
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How's security at this museum?

The last thing we need is crooks breaking in and stealing lightsabers.

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Shine on you crazy diamond: Distant dwarf may hide space jewel

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: WTF "5000 times cooler" is supposed to mean

They should have said it was 5 KiloFonzies cooler.

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TIME TRAVEL TEST finds black holes needed to make photons flit

Crisp
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When do you create a Closed Timelike Curve?

See title for answer.

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Firefighters deliver trapped student from GIANT GERMAN LADYPARTS

Crisp
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It's a trap!

/Admiral Ackbar

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Facebook goes TITSUP across WORLD! Who will look at your cousin's baby NOW?

Crisp
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I've been outside and seen the sun today for the first time in years

Facebook's failure has opened up a brave new world for me.

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Measure for measure: We visit the most applied-physicist-rich building in the UK

Crisp
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It looks like an Aperture Science Testing Centre.

See title.

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Come off it, Moon, Earth. We KNOW you're 60 million years OLDER than we thought

Crisp
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I'll have Brid-Aine Parnell know that our satellite is larger than most.

You don't see many planets with satellites that have a mass ratio like the Earth and Moon do!

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Psst. We've got 400Gb/s Ethernet working - but don't tell anyone

Crisp
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400Gb/s?

So much porn!

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Women are too expensive to draw and code – Ubisoft

Crisp
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And here I was thinking that complex physics was the problem

After all, how much GPU power do you spend on making sure that breasts bounce just right?

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SLOW DOWN: Insecure-by-design software on road

Crisp
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Why am I only finding out about this NOW!?!

Mine's the coat with a copy of nmap in the pocket.

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Urine a goldmine for fuel-cell materials: boffins

Crisp
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Unexpected Golden Shower

How much money are they going to make out of this?

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UK govt 'tearing up road laws' for Google's self-driving cars: THE TRUTH

Crisp
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Re: How do you determine if a computer program was driving dangerously?

Check the Event Log.

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Crisp
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@Tom 13

We've got Ms Tiamat holding on lines 2, 3, 5, 8 and 11. And boy is she pissed.

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Massive news in the micro-world: a hexaquark particle

Crisp
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@dan1980

As far as I understand it (which isn't that far), it's a tiny ball of wibbly-wobbly quarky-gluony ... stuff.

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Crisp
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" three quarks bound to make up protons (which last forever)"

Probably... depending on which flavour of string theory you prefer.

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Stephen Fry MADNESS: 'New domain names GENERATE NEW IP NUMBERS'

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

We're all running out of IPv4 address space

And Stephen Fry is just sitting there pontificating.

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Russian Interior Ministry cuffs iPhone ransomware suspects

Crisp
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"literature on hacking computer systems"

Is this illegal in Russia?

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I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

Crisp
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Re: Porn

I've seen things... things that would turn you white.

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Google to let Chromebookers take video content OFFLINE

Crisp
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Wow! Play allows you to watch content you've paid for?

What a novel concept!

Let's hope it catches on.

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Strategy Boutique ultimate 'tech'-gasm: 3D printer drone GoPro vid stream QR code

Crisp
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I for one wont be satisfied until there's an OCTO-copter version of this thing.

How am I supposed to deliver printed death from above with only four copters?

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Vodafone: SPOOKS are plugged DIRECTLY into our network

Crisp
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Why aren't Vodafone running end to end encryption to prevent this kind of thing?

We could have private communications. We just don't.

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Tech talk bloke compares girlfriend to irritating Java tool – did he deserve flames?

Crisp
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Women are legitimate targets of jokes...

Just like men are.

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TANGO DOWN! Google presents its 3D non-fondle slab to the world

Crisp
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So nothing like those floaty scanner things in Prometheus?

Those little widgets looked so cool.

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Game of Thrones scribe George R R Martin will KILL YOU for US$20K

Crisp
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Re: Conditions?

You'd probably want to stipulate that you died in a heroic way as well. Such as rescuing baskets of kittens and babies from a burning orphanage. (You don't die in the fire, but tragically after rescuing the last singed kitten.)

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Feds crack down harder on 'lasing'. Yep, aircraft laser zapping... Really

Crisp
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How steady does your hand have to be to take down a plane with a laser pointer?

I'm guessing that it would be slightly easier with one of those powerful 2W green lasers.

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Queen's Speech: Computer Misuse Act to be amended, tougher sentences planned

Crisp
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Re: Computer Misuse Act needs more of an update than that

I completely agree with you. There's just one problem.

This legislation will be written by lawyers. A profession which is still passing documents around by fax machine.

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Crisp
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Re: WTF are 'paedophilic manuals'?

I've no idea. It seems a little silly to me to have a law to cover a specific case of a manual that details how to commit a very specific crime.

Why no legislation on burglary manuals? Or Murder manuals? Armed robbery manuals? (Maybe it's the programmer in me, but why not create an abstract law regarding the dissemination of criminal techniques in manuals and then have a concrete implementation for each crime?)

Is this law really going to accomplish anything? I'm no criminal mastermind, but I don't think that criminals go on to the internet, download a "paedophilic manual" and then start practising.

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Glassholes beware: This guy's got your number

Crisp
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Re: Instead of flipping images upside-down, just tilt them by a few degrees

That's the evilest thing I can imagine! :')

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Android is a BURNING 'hellstew' of malware, cackles Apple's Cook

Crisp
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Re: Can you back that up with facts? Links? Evidence?

All non-trivial software solutions have holes. See The Halting Problem.

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US bloke raises $250k to build robo-masturbation device

Crisp
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Re: Software Defined Wanking

That's not actually a bad idea... Let's hope that this device has a decent API and a USB connector.

You could have it sync up with a movie of your favourite grumble flick, or you could have it vary the grip, frequency and length of strokes.

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Crisp
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It just doesn't look big enough

How are you supposed to fit it all in there?

There's only 4" of stroke there. It doesn't seem like nearly enough.

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How Bitcoin could become a super-sized Wayback Machine

Crisp
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I can totally see this working

The children of the future will be paying for things with old websites I wrote years ago. It's kind of beautiful in a way :)

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DIY IoT computer smaller than a square inch

Crisp
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What is that? A linux computer for ants?

See title.

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ASUS launches 5-in-1 Android Windows Phone laptop tablet (breathe)

Crisp
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Re: "Who am I?!?!?!?!"

Johnny the tackling alzheimer's patient?

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Rich bitch sorority girls actually more likely to put out than low-class 'sluts': Study

Crisp
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Re: Sexist article

I took away the opposite opinion when I'd finished reading the article. It seems that a womens biggest problem is in fact other women.

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It's Google's NO-WHEEL car. OMG... there aren't any BRAKES

Crisp
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Re: Horse Law

Have you seen the way some irresponsible drivers treat horses on the road though?

It's not the intelligent self driving car I'm worried about, it's the irresponsible human drivers on the road that I worry about. There are already people that display a ridiculous level of hostility to people that use Google Glass, I dread to think how they would react to the Google Car.

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ICO raps UK Student Loans Co for leaking MEDICAL files and more

Crisp
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Why aren't criminal charges being brought?

This is incredibly personal and sensitive information that they are giving away.

Maybe it's time that the Data Protection Act got an update.

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Australia iOS ransom gizmo-snatch OUTRAGE not our FAULT: Apple

Crisp
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Are Apple taking the Pliss?

Coat with the locked iPad in the pocket...

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ARG! A GHOST SHIP! Pirates sunk by UK cops return from watery grave

Crisp
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@Paw Bokenfohr

So essentially, what you're saying is: It's ok to run a url aggregator as long as torrent files aren't the only thing you're indexing.

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Crisp
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Seems to me that the CoLP are way out of their jurisdiction.

Did London annex Poland while I wasn't looking?

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Linux app lets you control fruit fly brains - with frikkin' LASERS

Crisp
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How soon before this technology can be adapted for wasps or bees?

Yes, I want a laser controlled bee cannon.

(If the bees could wear little laser packs as well that would be great.)

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Microsoft Cortana EULA contains the Greatest Disclaimer of ALL TIME

Crisp
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Are they sure that this is unintended behaviour?

Or has Cortana discovered a more subtle interpretation of the three laws of robotics?

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