* Posts by Crisp

2194 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Ex-squeeze me? Baking soda? Boffins claim it safely sucks CO2 out of the air

Crisp
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Re: "OK, you've captured all this CO2. Where do you plan to put it all?"

How about we hydrogenise it and turn it into a black sticky tar that we can safely store a few miles underground?

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'Privacy is DAMAGING to PROGRESS' says Irish big data whitepaper

Crisp
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Does a person own all of the data they generate, for example?

If they don't. Then who does?

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Win! The Ultimate Cash 'n' Carrion Survival Kit

Crisp
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Pint

500ml water bottle

Could this bottle conceivably be used for other liquids? Like vodka?

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ALIENS are surely AMONG US: Average star has TWO potentially Earth-like worlds

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: any intelligent life more than 100 light years away...

If they are intelligent, surely they would have noticed the spectroscopy of the atmosphere.

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Enough is ENOUGH: It's time to flush Flash back to where it came from – Hell

Crisp
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AdBlock has never been so useful.

It's probably stopped more threats reaching my PC than every anti-virus program I've ever had.

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UK not-spot deal: When we said '2017’, we meant 1 DAY BEFORE 2018

Crisp
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Re: Coverage as listed by whom?

If only there were some kind of regulator of the communications industry that could independently verify those figures!

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Pirate Bay data now tugged by IP-address-tracking current

Crisp
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The Pirate Bay uses open public trackers doesn't it?

Which kind of makes the whole CloudFlare issue a moot point.

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Lost SPACECRAFT believed FOUND ON COMET

Crisp
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Re: BORING: "Yes, we are pointing out that “GIF” is pronounced “jif”. Again."

You mean the G isn't silent like in gnome?

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YouTube flushes Flash for future flicks

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: Spelling Error in Article

In fact, it's an alternate spelling of bostin, which is a Birmingham term for brilliant, fantastic, or excellent.

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Crisp
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Go

It's about damn time!

Seriously.

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HMRC fails to plan for £10.4bn contract exit... because it's 'too risky'

Crisp
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Pint

Re: £350 per taxpayer

That's equivalent to 60 4 packs. That's beer that I could have drunk.

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Humanity can defeat SkyNet with BOOKS, says IT think tank

Crisp
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What ethical problems?

See title.

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Nexus 6 would have had a fingerprint reader, but Apple RUINED IT ALL

Crisp
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Re: Nobody can break into my brain for a password.

Challenge Accepted.

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Some Androids can be HOSED by WiFi Direct vuln

Crisp
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Trollface

BRB, Setting up wifi network...

What?

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BOT AN ABOMINATION: Mechanical DRONE VAMPIRE spreads wings

Crisp
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Re: Meh...

How about a laser guided micro missile?

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Lies, damn lies and Wikipedia: Murder suspect NOT a Plaxo founder – ex-staffer

Crisp
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Trollface

The Daily Mail got their facts wrong?

<sarcasm style="dripping">

Well colour me surprised!

</sarcasm>

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4Chan man Moot logs off as admin for last time

Crisp
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Boffin

sage

sage

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Crisp
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I'll get the hang of this one day...

▲▲

...one day.

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SCREW you, GLASSHOLES! Microsoft unveils HoloLens

Crisp
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I've already got app ideas!

Although most of them are about turning my office building into a FPS game.

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REGARD our TINY but POWERFUL LASER, suitable for very SMALL sharks

Crisp
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Is it this hair dryer?

Obligatory XKCD reference.

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Alabama tops US teacher-pupil sex league

Crisp
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Of all the things that there should be a league table of...

this isn't one of them.

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This could be a case for Mulder and Scully: Fox 'in talks' to bring back The X-Files

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

No. It ran for 9 seasons.

If there was some kind of conspiracy that could be connected to aliens, they've done it already. (Paris, because she's been done to death too.)

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FERTILISER DOOM warning! PESKY humans set to WIPE selves out AGAIN

Crisp
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Who's Big Al?

And why should I fear him?

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David Cameron: I'm off to the US to get my bro Barack to ban crypto – report

Crisp
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I can't wait until Cameron bans Cryptography

And when he does, I'll be sat outside Number 10 borrowing his WiFi.

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Mr President, is this a war on hackers – or a war on people stopping hackers?

Crisp
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Will the US Government be trying to enforce these laws in the UK?

Let's face it, they've got form for it.

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NSA: SO SORRY we backed that borked crypto even after you spotted the backdoor

Crisp
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"I can think of no better way to describe our failure..."

Then Michael Wertheimer simply isn't trying hard enough. I can think of three better ways and I've not even had breakfast yet.

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'NAUTS FLEE 'gas leak' to Russian module

Crisp
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Re: Big Three?

I'd rather be up against a Tribble than a Xenomorph.

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DANGER: Is that 'hot babe' on Skype a sextortionist?

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

It's funny because it's not happening to you!

Paris, because sex tape or something.

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Windows 7 MARKED for DEATH by Microsoft as of NOW

Crisp
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Mushroom

Oh noes! We've only got 5 years!

And even with 5 years advance warning, it's still going to catch some people by surprise. (I'm looking at you gov.uk)

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Paris terror attacks: ISPs face pressure to share MORE data with governments

Crisp
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What I don't get is...

How is reading my email and browser history going to stop crazy people with guns?

Are terrorists somehow firing bullets via the internet?

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Crisp
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Re: Heavy seismic activity

We could wrap him in copper wire and replace his headstone with a magnet and solve the energy crisis in one fell stroke!

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Hawking and friends: Artificial Intelligence 'must do what we want it to do'

Crisp
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"Our AI systems must do what we want them to do"

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the following prediction:

AI will do what we told it to do, not what we want it to do.

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IBM hastens END OF HUMANITY with teachable AI 'brain'

Crisp
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What exactly was the human error rate?

Enquiring minds need to know!

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Burglars' delight no more: Immobilise UK secures property list

Crisp
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"a thorough review of records revealed no evidence of irregular usage"

That's only really meaningful if they keep thorough records.

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It's 2015 and ATMs don't know when a daughterboard is breaking them

Crisp
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Re: Outdated stereotypes

Frankie, ya broke the unwritten law. Ya ratted on your friends. You do that, Frankie, your enemies don't respect ya. You got no friends no more. You got nobody ...

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SpaceX: CATS with FRIKKIN' LASERS to blast off to space station

Crisp
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Re: Is the barge KA-BOOM-proof?

If you hear an Earth Shattering KA-BOOM at about 11:40, you'll have your answer.

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Siri, are you afraid of Facebook's new speech recognition tech?

Crisp
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Re: Because Facebook must crush the world

With their, erm, social media platform. content free advertising platform.

FTFY

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Saudi Arabia hires 'ethical hackers' to silence smut slingers

Crisp
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Will the West retaliate?

By hacking Saudi sites and putting porn on them?

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Sony Pictures hit by 'fightback on filesharers' DDoS claims – report

Crisp
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How many illegal things does Sony have to do before they are taken to court?

I'm still surprised that they got away with the rootkit thing without a single jail term being handed out.

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No, I won't SNORKEL in your server room at STUPID-O'CLOCK

Crisp
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Re: 2) Get caught when bad decision leads to millions in lost money

One hardly ever gets caught. By the time the basement floods, they've moved on to mismanage some other project.

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Bitcoin exec gets two years over illegal Silk Road funny money trading

Crisp
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Charlie Shrem gets jailed for helping criminals launder money

And HSBC get away with it scott free.

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Space Commanders lock missiles on Elite's Frontier Devs

Crisp
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Boffin

Trickier than docking with a space station without a docking computer?

If you can't dock your craft manually then you shouldn't be in space!

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UK air traffic bods deny they 'skimped' on IT investment after server mega-fail

Crisp
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Now it's been officially denied...

You know it's true.

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TorrentLocker ransomware pestilence plagues Europe, bags $500k

Crisp
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Re: you can't kill someone over standard tcp/ip...

Not easily...

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Pirate Bay towed to oldpiratebay.org

Crisp
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Re: links to smut...

"Which we did not click on."

Sure...

So exactly how smutty was the stuff you didn't click on?

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Denmark BANNED from viewing UK furniture website in copyright spat

Crisp
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Re: Paul McCartney?

I thought it was to protect Cliff Richard.

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

Crisp
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Geneva Convention

So it's ok to throw hunks of lead at a human, or set them on fire, or blow them up with explosives; but vaporising them with a laser is out of the question?

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Car-crash IT: HUGE write-off for Universal Credit - PAC

Crisp
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I was watching Yes Minister last night

Glad to see that it hasn't dated in the slightest.

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Govt spaffs £170k to develop the INTERNET OF SHEEP

Crisp
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Re: Sheep puns?

Get the flock out of here.

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