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* Posts by Crisp

1976 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Stop excluding vulnerable Brits from digital agenda - MPs

Crisp
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It shouldn't be "No internet? No help from the government"

It should be "No Internet? More help from the government"!

The people without digital access to government services are obviously the people that need the most help.

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Young model ruthlessly fingers upskirt iPad petshop pervert

Crisp
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Go

Re: Spoonerism...

I'm upvoting you for upvoting him for downvoting him. And I've downvoted him, and upvoted him.

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Refusal to swallow scuppers woman's tadpole-smuggling plan

Crisp
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It could have been worse...

She could have been caught with a case of crabs!

I'm going... Mines the one with a jar of tadpoles in the pocket.

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Boffin road trip! The Reg presents Geek's Guide to Britain

Crisp
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Re: Come on....

And civilisation.

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Twitter patents sending messages, promises not to sue everyone

Crisp
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Re: Hmmm

Yeah, who needs a Grand Unified Theory of physics anyway?

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Crisp
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I wrote a website with a mechanism that did something similar over ten years ago

I didn't patent it because I thought it was bloody obvious.

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Google extends trademarks-in-ads policy to whole world

Crisp
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How does this affect people with adblock installed?

Am I going to notice a difference?

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NASA chief: Earth is DOOMED if we spot a big asteroid at short notice

Crisp
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We'd be just as doomed

If we didn't spot an incoming hunk of rock.

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Researcher sets up illegal 420,000 node botnet for IPv4 internet map

Crisp
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@Colin Wilson

This isn't a case of leaving your front door unlocked, this is more a case of leaving a firearm outside a gun cabinet where anyone could get hold of it.

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Crisp
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Re: "Goddess of Door Hinges"

Smurfette

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Crisp
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Re: Using a default username and password isn't hacking

I'm sorry, but people that don't secure their systems from this level of attack are part of the problem.

Because when your system is compromised, it starts whacking my web servers and then it becomes my problem.

You aren't leaving the front door to your house unlocked, your leaving your Low Orbit Ion Cannon unlocked outside the school gates with the engine running.

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Crisp
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Using a default username and password isn't hacking

It's using the system as intended.

After all, if people didn't want to share their devices, they would have changed the default password when they installed it.

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Breakneck star orbits black hole at record speed

Crisp
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So how long until that black hole eats its companion?

That's going to be a big x-ray event.

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Kinky Android X-ray app laid bare as malware

Crisp
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I can understand why people were duped

After all, airport security has those machines that can see through clothes.

I do worry about the kind of person that thinks a free app will do the same job though.

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Holly(oaks) talking head is FUTURE of face messaging, claims prof

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

I'm dissapointed El Reg commentards.

24 posts and no mention of how Cambridge Engineers give good head.

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SimCity owners get free game, EA will get A NEW CEO

Crisp
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FAIL

I'm a Simcity fan.

I've already got Simcity 4.

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Celebrity conspiracy as Apple attacked over customer service

Crisp
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Post around 8:20

Is this the equivalent of a news anchor reading the directions off the auto-cue?

Ah, the perils of Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V.

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Bottomless, unsatisfied Xbox widow cuffed after boyf flees nookie

Crisp
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Why didn't she just grab another controller and join him?

You know what they say, if you can't beat them... play co-op.

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Drones with freakin' CLAWS grab objects like eagles

Crisp
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Terminator

What kind of dexterity go these things have?

Could one of these robots be programmed to harvest certain objects? Maybe anything about the size of a wallet or a credit card? Could one one yank a slip of paper say, out of someone's hand?

These robots could be the next weapon in the fight against street litter.

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Ten pi-fect projects for your new Raspberry Pi

Crisp
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Do you get the freaky border around the edges when you load games?

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Crisp
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Geiger Counter, Green Screen, FM Radio

Looks like I've got all the makings of a Pip-Boy here!

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SimCity 4

Crisp
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Re:RTS games also suffered through the "lets do it in 3D" era.

Did you see what they did to Simon the Sorcerer 3? They took a great 2D adventure and turned it into a blocky 3D nightmare. For no other reason than the studio wouldn't support the game unless it was in 3D.

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Crisp
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Simcity 4

I've just gone back to playing this after the Simcity 5 debacle.

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Trip the fight fantastic

Crisp
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I'm so glad I didn't buy Colonial Marines.

AvP II has been out for over a decade now, and it's perfect for a remake. It is the best way to immerse yourself in a world of deadly xenomorphs for now.

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Infinite loop: the Sinclair ZX Microdrive story

Crisp
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Re: @Crisp: These were great

Jamie Jones, you are a gentleman and a scholar. Have an upvote on me.

Paralysed an ant! :D

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Crisp
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Re: These were great

Downvoting me after losing my copy of Ant Attack is just adding insult to injury!

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Crisp
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FAIL

Re: These were great

Except that if you forgot and left a cartridge in the drive when you powered the damn thing on, it would wipe the tape.

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New nuke could POWER WORLD UNTIL 2083

Crisp
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Go

I love the fusible plug idea!

A low tech solution to a high tech problem :D Genius.

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We shall CRUSH you, puny ROBOT... with CHESS

Crisp
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Terminator

First it was deciphering messed up words, then it was jigsaw puzzles.

I'm waiting for the day where a website needs a drop of blood and a soft tissue sample to verify me as human.

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AdBlock Plus BLOCKED from Google Play

Crisp
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FAIL

Adverts are not a service or a product.

They are an annoyance and an intrusion.

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Microsoft unveils even more tempting Kinect offering: Open source

Crisp
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It's an interesting input device

Can you use it to detect a users expression of horror when they realise they've made a cataclysmic mistake?

I can see an application here for an automated undo feature :)

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Boffins build robo-CHIMP for DARPA challenge

Crisp
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I want one!

Preferably equipped with an on board set of tools like Johnny 5 had.

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Self-healing chips survive repeated LASER BLASTS

Crisp
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Re: PETMC

Well if the chips respond to damaging stimuli by repairing themselves, then I guess that zapping the chip with a laser would make it feel pain that it had to respond to by rerouting its circuits.

Holy Crap! They are torturing those chips!

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Crisp
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Terminator

I predict

That the first application for these chips will be in robots to fight frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads.

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En Garde! Villagers FIGHT OFF FRENCH INVASION MENACE

Crisp
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Re: no man is an island

No upvotes?

Too soon?

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Crisp
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Isn't it about time that roaming charges were seen for the rip off that they are?

There is practically no real extra cost phoning home from Dover or Calais for the network operators, so why do we allow them to keep fleecing customers like this?

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Uni profs: Kids today could do with a bit of 'mind-crippling' COBOL

Crisp
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Learn COBOL, even if it cripples you mentally

I still have flashbacks about writing sequential files to tape.

Sometimes, late at night, I can still hear the tape flapping, and the anguished screams of someone that's just dropped a box of punch cards.

The horror.

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Six things a text editor must do - or it's a one-way trip to the trash

Crisp
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Re: There is only one thing a text editor needs

I once offered a fiver to anyone that could write a COBOL program in vi without setting off the terminal bell.

No one ever claimed it.

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Crisp
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I have lost the ultra-violet wiping-out gadget (ask your dad)

Am I so old now that this is ancient technology?

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Chaos Theory causes password entry pandemonium

Crisp
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: If it slips from your grasp and twangs back in mid-pee

Please tell me this has actually happened! :)

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Crisp
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Re: Lastpass for me

My brain currently fills all those functions.

Barring accident, injury or alcohol, it seems to work quite well.

Oh! And it's free!

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The DIY spy-in-the-sky: From kites to octocopters

Crisp
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Re: If (when?) they're banned

Dammit!

Someone get me a mini-cam, a tube of tennis balls balls, some hair spray and a lighter.

There goes my weekend....

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Microsoft preps UPDATE EVERYTHING patch batch

Crisp
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Re: Counting security holes is not a good guide - windows has HUGE HOLES

Gotta love linux users that think their boxes are unhackable :)

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Photoshop fakery exposed by fake Photoshop tool

Crisp
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Childcatcher

Re: They will use any lie in the book to get you to buy.

Advertisers lie?!! Say it isn't so!

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World's 'smallest' mobe unveiled in Japan

Crisp
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Looks like a perfect phone for kids

And wont cost too much to replace if it's lost, stolen or broken.

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Amazon yanks SimCity download from store

Crisp
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Maybe a friendly prirate has come up with a "Fix" for it.

I own plenty of legitimate games.

But sometimes a 3rd party software update is the only way to get the software working properly.

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DWP denies major IT problems with One Dole To Rule Them All system

Crisp
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Telephone and face-to-face support would be offered only as a "fall-back mechanism"

I've read that bit five times now, and it just seems like a big screw you to people that don't or can't use computers.

What guarantee have I got that I'll actually be able to speak to someone that can help in a timely manner?

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BRITAIN MUST DECLARE WAR on Cervinaean menace

Crisp
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Re: Can we have some bears too?

Lions, Tigers and Bears!

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USA is the best country in the WORLD... for sending spam

Crisp
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Re: Can't ISPs detect zombified PCs?

Ok, do you want to volunteer to have your traffic profiled first?

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'Quantum fridge' gets close to absolute zero

Crisp
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It's not white for a start.

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