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* Posts by Crisp

1901 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Strategic SIEGE ROBOTS defeated by 'heavily intoxicated' man, 62

Crisp
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"Dangerous Ordnance"

As if there is any other kind!

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Microsoft finally ships Internet Explorer 10 for Windows 7

Crisp
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Re: Everything is now Square.

Of course everything is now square. It's the only geometric shape that's still in the public domain.

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Crisp
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Compatibility Support Calls in 3... 2... 1...

I'm so glad I don't work on a helldesk any more.

I really feel for those of you that do though.

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US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

Crisp
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Re: Game of Thrones

I love that show! It's so refreshing to watch something that treats it's audience like adults.

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Yet more world+dog patent suits, this time over encryption

Crisp
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This is why we can't have nice things.

I can't believe that Maz Technologies filed those patents with a straight face.

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Welcome to our Wi-Fi: Devicescape reinvents landing page

Crisp
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Re: I wonder if that is legal?

Clicking isn't signing a contract.

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DHS bigwig 'adamantly opposed' to degree fetishism

Crisp
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Re: Which country is the degree from?

Actually, yes I would. The Chinese have done a sterling job of cracking american systems.

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Boffin shows pics of germs grown on SPOTTY STUDENTS' MOBES

Crisp
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Re: This article reads remarkably like...

I've never understood why I should be worried about the bacteria in my toilet bowl.

I don't eat from it, wash in it, or drink the water from it.

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Ancient lost continent discovered lounging on Mauritian beach

Crisp
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The boffins did not say whether the lost continent was that of Atlantis, Mu or Lemuria.

Because that would have been very silly.

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Quantum computer one step closer after ‘true’ quantum calculation

Crisp
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Or is there?

Maybe.

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PunkSPIDER project founder defends 'Google for web app vulns'

Crisp
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Re: They have to pay developers

Paying developers to do work?

Let's hope this catches on!

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Drone quadracopters throw and catch inverted pendulum

Crisp
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Terminator

Do these drones remind anyone of a T-1 Aerial?

Surely it can't just be me.

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Apple files 'iWatch' patent application

Crisp
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Re: This is worth a patent?

No.

It's just a flexible display glued to a bistable spring. It's hardly innovative. It's almost the definition of "obvious".

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Perfect sex minx calculated from 'deep' probe of X-rated flicks

Crisp
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No Stoya in that mix up?

They missed a trick there.

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Quit the 2D internet, flee your cave, and GET LAID, barks rock star

Crisp
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Coat

Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your PC and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead?

Fly a kite.

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Tennessee bloke quits job over satanic wage slip

Crisp
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Re: Good riddance?

You'd be in breach of the Equality Act of 2006.

Don't downvote me. I don't make the rules.

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Bioshock Infinite, Devil May Cry, SimCity

Crisp
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These aren't new games.

They are remakes of old ones that I already own.

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Huge rock-hard marble erection shocks Japanese kiddies

Crisp
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Re: It's just a penis.

If anybody needs me, I'll be in my bunk appreciating controversial works of art!

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Crisp
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It's just a penis.

Half the population has one.

The human body is a beautiful thing. Why not celebrate the masculine form?

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Why you need a home lab to keep your job

Crisp
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Re: Where do you get all the software from?

Either open source, or I download developer editions of software from my MSDN account.

BTW, I do actually have a home lab, but that's for my personal use. Not my employers.

Because it's currently geared up to construct an army of robotic super soldiers.

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Crisp
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I don't work for free.

And learning new skills to benefit the company that employs me *is* work.

So I'll be doing my training during work hours thankyouverymuch.

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Earth-like planets abound in red dwarf systems

Crisp
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We need to work on ways of getting there

Preferably within my lifetime.

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UK web snoop charter: Just how much extra info do spooks need?

Crisp
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Who wants to sign my public key?

It's ok, it's just for verifying that messages are actually from me.

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Boffins find 17,425,170-digit prime number

Crisp
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Re: Why are we paying for this research?

To discover more huge prime numbers to feed to the prime number eating monster that lives under Belgium.

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Kickstarter project says open source can blast Death Star costs

Crisp
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Proof Positive

That if enough people want something to happen, we can make it happen!

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Fanbois rejoice: iPhone 5, iPad Mini finally jailbroken

Crisp
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Re: Running Android

Finally! Something useful I can do with my iPad!

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Twitter spends $70m to juice your tweets, tell biz what you want - report

Crisp
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In Capitalist America

Product owns you!

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Bug-hunters: They're coming outta the goddamn walls, aargh!

Crisp
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Coat

It's game over man!

Game over!

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Kids as young as FIVE need lessons in online safety - NSPCC

Crisp
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70 per cent more boys had called in about seeing porn online

Were they complaining or boasting?

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US diplomat: If EU allows 'right to be forgotten' ... it might spark TRADE WAR

Crisp
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The USA is sabre rattling again

Europe should not give in to the threats of rogue states.

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Japan hides anti-piracy warning on P2P networks

Crisp
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Re: "which is known to be available for sale"

That's the kind of little loophole that would have made Game of Thrones legal to download.

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BANG and the server's gone: Man gets 8 months for destroying work computers

Crisp
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Re: If he really wanted to cause damage...

Which is why you don't allow a programmer anywhere within flame thrower distance of a live server.

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We're not making this up: Apple trademarks the SHOP

Crisp
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Go

Re: It's over between us

If you only upvote one post today. Make sure that it's the one above the one above this one.

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Symantec: Don't blame us for New York Times hack

Crisp
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Most businesses only spend money on IT professionals when it matters.

And when their security gets breached, they usually find out that it mattered 12 months ago and all they can do now is call in a clean up crew.

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Microsoft: Old Internet Explorer is terrible and 'we want to help'

Crisp
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Congratulations Greg!

You've fixed bugs for a site viewed in a browser that's 12 years old!

If people will insist on using ancient hardware and software to access the internet then I've got no bloody sympathy for them.

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Crisp
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Are you still laying out your websites with tables?

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Crisp
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Here's an idea Microsoft.

How about actually implementing the HTML 5 spec? Other browsers seem to have no trouble with it.

I'm sick and tired of having to look up every sodding tag to find out if it's supported in IE or not.

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ESA proposes 3D printing on the moon

Crisp
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Re: I can see the flaw in the design.

There's probably another hole around the other side where they pump more air in.

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Customer service rep fired for writing game that mocks callers

Crisp
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Callcenters already mock callers.

"We apologise for the long delay."

"Your call is very important to us."

"We're going to stop the on-hold music, so that you think we're going to answer, but all we're really going to do is subject you to another automated message."

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Microsoft builds observatory to spy on Earthlings' spectrum

Crisp
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Here's an idea...

Why don't we use this space to make posts after the article, to actually discuss the issues raised in said article?

Just a thought.

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Crisp
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There's a reason some of those spaces are white.

And a reason I don't want devices sitting in the 1420.40575177 MHz band.

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Big biz, expensive beancounters write UK tax law, says senior MP

Crisp
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Hello Foxes!

We'd like to consult you on the best way to look after these chickens...

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Iran develops working ICBM: Intercontinental Ballistic Monkey

Crisp
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Re: Never mind the nuke angle, there are more important questions:

Argonauts?

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Helium: Can it prevent the onset of Shingles?

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: Helium supply

We make more by fusing deuterium.

Thus solving the problem once and for all.

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Boffins baffled over pulsar with 'split personality'

Crisp
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Changes in the pulsar are like a chameleon

They come and go... They come and go

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Shiny, shiny! The window's behind me...

Crisp
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Everyone off the bus!

I want all the shiny people over here, and all the matte people over there, ok!

I represent mean angry pizza-eating coding people, alright!

As long as there are no dead pixels, we can get on with writing software!

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Ministry of Fun builds crack team to juice up bumpkin broadband

Crisp
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Flame

A pilot scheme will be be tested on bumpkins

I for one am against the government testing this BT on poor defenceless bumpkins.

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Hydrogen on demand from silicon nanospheres - just add water

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: If the silicon acted as a catalyst

Then the little nano spheres would give off both hydrogen *and* oxygen.

I'll leave figuring out why this is a bad thing as an exercise for the reader.

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Backdoor root login found in Barracuda gear - and Barracuda is OK with this

Crisp
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Time to redirect Port 22 to a terminal that only plays Zork

You are standing in a field west of a white house.

There is a mail box here.

>_

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Opportunity celebrates nine years on Mars

Crisp
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Re: This is cool

It is when you are flinging an SUV sized robot 225 million miles to be dropped on a dusty desert planet by a flying sky crane.

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