Feeds

* Posts by Crisp

1979 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Tick-tock! 40% of PCs start Windows XP malware meltdown countdown

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Linux support techs

What good would they do in a windows environment?

3
3

Microsoft Xbox gaffe reveals cloudy arrogance

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Pah...

That should be a While(True) loop.

Goto? You should be shot.

2
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Monetize

If you could actually buy a copy of Galaga, then you'd be a filthy little pirate for running mame.

But since you can't actually buy a copy of Galaga, you can't exactly be depriving the original artist of any income can you?

0
1
Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Luddites

Dungeon Keeper is ripe for a make over. No one has come close to doing that game justice yet.

0
0

Hold on! Degrees for all doesn't mean great jobs for all, say profs

Crisp
Silver badge

No degree here

I've got 99 problems,

But having a degree ain't one.

0
0

Australian Feds charge 17-year-old 'Anon' with four crimes

Crisp
Silver badge

Kid vandalises shop window.

Gets let off with a caution.

Commit the same crime digitally, and it's up to 25 years in the big house?

Somethings not right here.

7
8

Sci/Tech quango promises an end to 'events with no women'

Crisp
Silver badge

They are getting rid of men, just because they are men?

Isn't that the very definition of discrimination based solely on a persons sex?

14
0

Disney shutters Star Wars game unit with 200 layoffs

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: TIE Fighter?

Who in their right mind would fly a TIE fighter?

Those things are death traps!

0
0
Crisp
Silver badge

I really liked LucasArts

Loom was quite possibly one of the best adventure/puzzle games of all time.

2
0

Bitcoin briefly soars to record $147 high, driven by Cyprus bank flap

Crisp
Silver badge

Bitcoin offers criminals an untraceable way to launder their ill-gotten gains

Unlike the HSBC. Who were able to completely trace everyone that had laundered money through their bank.

3
0

Kiwi boffins bid up Earth-like planet prediction

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: "If we did leave the solar system, where should we go?"

More importantly, "How are we getting there?"

And even more importantly, will we have any booze left when we get there?

0
0

Ancient website from 1999: By Mark Zuckerberg aged 15¾

Crisp
Silver badge

I produced some dire websites at the start of my career too

And like Zuckerberg, sometimes I still do.

6
1

RAF graduates first class of new groundbased 'pilots'

Crisp
Silver badge

Landings and takeoffs are controlled from within the theatre of operations

I would have thought that a maneuver like a landing or a take off would be ripe for automation.

Is there a technical reason why the pilot has to do it manually?

1
0

Universal Credit IT system could lead to MORE FRAUD, MPs warn

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: blah blah benefit cheats blah blah

Hell, they could double the amounts that benefits pays and it would still be a drop in the ocean.

6
3

Google offers Adwords deals - but you can't trust their numbers

Crisp
Silver badge

A bag contains fifteen marbles.

Unless you live at Mountain View.

In which case, you've probably lost a few.

3
0

Google forks WebKit, promises faster, leaner Chrome engine

Crisp
Silver badge

Time to start chanting the browser prayer.

Please don't break my website!

Please don't break my website!

Please don't break my website!

Where have all my divs gone?

0
0

Boffins shine new light on dark matter

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Confused

As I understand it, dark matter still interacts gravitationally with light.

2
0

Tech is the biggest problem facing archiving

Crisp
Silver badge

Another problem with archiving.

Those tapes have a limited shelf life.

What I'd like to see is the digital equivalent of a stone tablet. A storage medium that can be viable for millennia.

0
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Virtually no data is needed for ever

But I don't want to throw it away! You never know when something might come in useful!

Guaranteed as soon as I throw away that credit card receipt from 1985 I'll need it for something!

2
0

US funds Europa mission

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: send people

You go.

Europa is cold this time of year.

0
0

Copyright troll Prenda refuses to explain legal strategy

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: The law, correctly applied, is the law, and we should follow it.

I vas only obeying orders!

3
0

Why does our galaxy spiral?

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Ye cannae change the laws of physics

Galaxies don't have to form arms. There's plenty of galaxies out there that are just featureless blobs.

3
0

ROBOT COCKROACH SWARM unleashed in Sheffield lab

Crisp
Silver badge
Coat

Did somebody call for an exterminator?

Mines the coat with the Blizzard logo on the back.

1
0

Animal Liberation drone surveillance plan draws fire

Crisp
Silver badge

Almost anything

will provoke North Korea more.

0
0
Crisp
Silver badge

What exactly are Animal Liberation Australia doing to help?

If they really cared about these animals, then they would have boots on the ground helping these farmers.

Instead, they are trying to gather evidence for litigation. How is that helping?

4
3

Merde! Dummkopf! Google Translate used as spam cloak

Crisp
Silver badge
Coat

Re: " because it may easily be used to lute users into visiting malware-tainted websites."

Don't have a tempo tantrum.

7
0

Head of privacy at Google leaves. Yes, that's a real job

Crisp
Silver badge

You is on first.

1
0

BitTorrent opens kimono, gets out one-to-many streaming tool

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: niche content

Fnar Fnar!

1
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Looks like everyone will have the potential to be famous for fifteen minutes

I wonder what they will become famous for...

1
0

Net neutrality? We've heard of it, says Ofcom

Crisp
Silver badge
Flame

Ofcom decided that Net Neutrality is a non-issue in the UK

And who the hell are they to decide that?

4
3

Lotsa lasers an option for the Next Big Physics

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Thinking, Thinking...

Strangely enough, there seems to be no end of money from the military when it looks like scientists are close to blowing things up in new and interesting ways.

4
0

ASA says 'unlimited' broadband can have 'moderate' limits on it

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: VirginMedia have two policies@Crisp

All that pornography doesn't download itself you know!

0
0
Crisp
Silver badge
Flame

Re: VirginMedia have two policies

OH COME ON!

The only reason I bought the frigging XXL 100 Unlimited package is because VM said that they wouldn't gimp my connection!

1
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Re: "...the watchdog believes punters will expect "moderate restrictions"..."

I believe that unlimited should mean unlimited. And I also believe that the ASA should pull their thumbs out of their arses and start earning their salaries.

7
0

Motorola minimum-wage sheriffs ride in to SAVE the HIGH STREET

Crisp
Silver badge

Yeah! That'll get me back into stores!

Not prices, customer service, or even a clean and pleasant place to shop.

A gimmicky little badge! That's what will have me racing to the shops with my wallet in hand!

2
0

After Leveson: The UK gets an Orwellian Ministry of Truth for real

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: "Name and shame" campaign

It's funny how they can get away with that for convicted paedophiles.

But not with muggers, burglars, thieves, rapists, murderers, drink drivers, or politicians.

I'd much rather know where those guys live so that I could stay away from them.

1
0

Dragon capsule makes fiery entrance, safe splashdown

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: You're all wrong.

The pound is a unit of thumping.

5
0
Crisp
Silver badge
Go

Elon Musk owns his own spaceship

Yes... I am jealous much.

1
0

Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Dongles

And forking.

3
0
Crisp
Silver badge
Trollface

Register dot co dot uk - exists merely to be nasty.

I think Mr Fry is confusing El Reg with 4Chan.

2
0

The UK Energy Crisis in 3 simple awareness-raising pictures

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: re: We build a BattleStar

Or they might have some Tylium we can borrow.

0
0
Crisp
Silver badge
Coat

Re: The solution

We build a BattleStar?

2
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Leaky

You're right about the damp (and the inevitable mould that comes along with it).

I live in a flat converted from an old pre-war house designed to be heated by two fireplaces. But someone, for some unknown reason, decided to cap the chimney. So now I'm trying to heat my home with a gas fire. Which, because of the price of bottled gas, I can only afford to run in one room at a time.

Now this creates a massive temperature gradient across the whole flat. The gas heater with no real exhaust on it creates a fair bit of water vapour as a by product of burning the gas. Which in turn travels to the colder rooms in the house, condenses on the wallpaper, which starts it peeling, providing a great home for mould.

/rant

0
0

Freetard den isoHunt loses appeal against search ban

Crisp
Silver badge

I guess that it's back to using Google then.

Just like isoHunt, but bigger.

10
0

New-age tech marketing secrets REVEALED

Crisp
Silver badge

Product placement, jiggling imagery, spamvertising, cold calling and high-pressure sales

Is the perfect way to advertise to me that your product can't stand on it's own two feet.

4
0

Chinese graves use quick response codes to recall the dead

Crisp
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Oh, think of the fun you could have with a packet of self-adhesive QR codes.

They are quite cheap and easy to print yourself...

So I've heard...

0
0

Maybe don't install that groovy pirated Android keyboard

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: WP8 has zero security holes so far

To be fair, neither Apple nor Google have had a great deal of experience in having to keep their operating systems secure.

I'm sure they'll get it right eventually though.

2
1

Calm a CARMA drama chameleon: Barça super waves ARMs, GPUs

Crisp
Silver badge
Go

And the best headline of the week award goes to...

Dan Olds!

0
0

Bitcoin prices spike on Euro woes

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Told ya so

What if I had *two* dyson sphere computers?

2
0

Oi, Microsoft, where's my effin' toolbar gone?

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: There is a simple explanation

Not to mention changing the bloody file format every sodding version.

7
1