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* Posts by Crisp

1976 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Quantum researchers control qubit with light

Crisp
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They probably get more dates than you realise

I know a few women that would consider a glowing diamonds (Or Quantum Gemerald if you will) to be the ultimate in shiny shiny.

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Crisp
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I'd quite like a PC built out of diamonds.

Fricking lasers just sweeten the deal.

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US Ambassador plays Game of Thrones with pirates

Crisp
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Re: A Lannister always pays his debts

Yes they do. But as I understand it that motto doesn't always refer to money.

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The UK's copyright landgrab: The FAQ

Crisp
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TinEye

You're welcome.

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Forget choice: 50% of firms will demand you BYOD by 2017

Crisp
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What's next? Bring your own biro to work?

My biro technically is a device, and can do everything your fondle slab can do. (Even if it is a little slow at things like math)

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Fraudster gets ten years after selling fake 'ionic charge' bomb detectors

Crisp
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McCormick, who still insists he hasn't had customer complaints about the efficacy of the devices

Dead men don't make complaints.

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Weary quid-a-day nosh hack fears colonal mass ejection

Crisp
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Re: I predict

I'm predicting at least 18 Courics

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Thousands rally behind teen girl cuffed, expelled in harmless 'explosion'

Crisp
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Sounds like Kiera Wilmot was doing science!

A kid learning science in an american school? No wonder the state wants to prosecute her to the full extent of the law!

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CLIMATE CHANGE forces women into PROSTITUTION - US politicians

Crisp
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Re: In cold countries sex is demonstrably lousy

Sweden.

Checkmate.

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Crisp
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Accounting for the specific impacts of climate change on women

Do women drink a different kind of water from men? Do they breathe a different kind of oxygen?

Do glaciers, hurricanes, or storms affect women differently from men? Will climate change lead to women dying off?

Way to piss all over the achievements of feminists over the years Barbara Lee.

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Brit horologist hammers out ‘first’ ATOMIC-POWERED watch

Crisp
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It looks ugly, bulky, and difficult to use

So why do I want one so bad?

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AMD reveals potent parallel processing breakthrough

Crisp
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Things that make you go hUMA...

This is interesting stuff. It'll be more interesting to see it in practice. Especially as more and more developers have started using the GPU for parallel tasks.

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Ultra-hackable Google Glass could be a security nightmare

Crisp
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Being able to root my own device is a good thing.

I've found it's the only way to take advantage of the hardware sometimes.

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2,000km-wide Eye-of-Sauron MONSTER hurricane spotted on Saturn

Crisp
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Holiday on Saturn?

No thanks. Not with 300mph winds and storms that last decades.

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Brits on benefits: 'Dole office site only works on PCs over 10 YEARS OLD'

Crisp
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That is a shockingly bad site

And completely what I've come to expect from the UK government when it comes to technology.

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Continued lack of women in tech bemoaned by ex-techie lady MP

Crisp
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Re: ICT is not attractive to women

"Women in general prefer a work environment that includes a fair degree of social interaction"

Unfortunately my boss prefers a work environment that includes a fair amount of work which means less time for social interaction.

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Crisp
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Re: Business people in Retail are quite likely to be women.

Yet we don't get politicians moaning about the lack of men in retail.

Funny that.

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Crap computers in a crap box: Smart-meter blackouts risk to UK

Crisp
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Re: FFS

No sophisticated computer system is going to try and nail my wife!

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Crisp
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Re: customer benefits

I guess the customers that are smart enough to hack their smart meters will get free electricity.

It's nice that the electric companies are giving something back after years of ruthless profiteering.

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Google to Glass devs: 'Duh! Go ahead, hack your headset'

Crisp
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Re: I'm really not looking forward to being videoed and recorded everywhere I go

You already are.

Ordinary people have dashboard cams, Helmet cams, nanny cams in kindergartens, webcams watching you in the street, not to mention every Tom, Dick and Harry with a mobile phone out.

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Fried-egg sarnies kick off Reg man's quid-a-day nosh challenge

Crisp
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Re: As I said before

I'm hoping that a proper nutritionist has checked Lester Haines diet plan for the week.

I'm no doctor, but I'm not sure that he'll be getting all the vitamins and minerals he needs from those meals.

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Crisp
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You paid for bones from the butchers?

They usually give that away free if you say you're giving it to your dogs.

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Canadian TV station wails: NFC bonking... it's not SAFE

Crisp
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No Chip and Pin in America?

Why not?

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What work? Tablet owners prefer to slack off with their slabs

Crisp
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Re: not ready for any work

I used to regularly take notes with my iPad. That was until my boss wanted it back to beat his high score on some zombie game.

Now I have a load of handwritten notes I can't access.

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UK.Gov passes Instagram Act: All your pics belong to everyone now

Crisp
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Oh this will be fun :D

There's lots of things that can be rendered as photographs.

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Move space junk with laser shots

Crisp
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What happens when a pigeon flies through the beam of a 10kW laser?

See Title.

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DARPA looks for a guided bullet with DEAD reckoning navigation

Crisp
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Re: DARPA's research rarely produces tangible results

Yeah, like that ARPANet. Whatever happened to that pie in the sky project?

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Announcement of 'churnalism detector' gets furiously churned

Crisp
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Journalist Caught In Writing Own Words Shocker!

Journalism needs more original content.

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Mosaic turns 20: Let's fire up the old girl, show her the web today

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: NOW I feel old...

I still get flashbacks when I hear the sound of a modem handshaking.

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BadNews, fandroids: MILLIONS of Google Play downloads riddled with malware

Crisp
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Trollface

A Linux based OS with malware?

Where's Eadon when you need him?

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Hard luck lads, todger size DOES matter: Official

Crisp
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Re: Surely Pro. Randy Marsh has solved this for us?

That's TMI

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ICO probes Home Office refusal to reveal Snooper's Charter details

Crisp
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Paedophiles, Terrorists

Two words that are practically guaranteed to strike fear into the hearts of Daily Mail readers everywhere!

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Web minister Maria Miller: UK WILL hit 2015 broadband target

Crisp
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Re: Maria Miller Has no experience in telephony or networking

Her background is in marketing and advertising.

So, well... you be the judge.

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Crisp
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Maria Miller Has no experience in telephony or networking

And I have no confidence in her prediction.

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DDOS strikes BitCoin exchange Mt.Gox

Crisp
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Is it really a DDOS?

Or just another surge in demand?

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Google's Page drops the A-bomb: Google Glass runs Android

Crisp
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Re: It runs Android?

Who fucking let Gordon Fucking Ramsey in?

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Crisp
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Re: Stop Press

Reports from the UK suggest that the Sun has been missing since last summer.

(2011, if I recall correctly)

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The fast-growing energy source set to replace oil: Yes, it's COAL

Crisp
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Flame

Coal Picture

I could swear that looks like wood or charcoal burning.

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Malwarebytes declares Windows 'malicious', nukes 1,000s of PCs

Crisp
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Re: Scrum Development Process

If you're using a Scrum development framework, shouldn't you be designing unit tests as you go?

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Crisp
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Re: Testing updates prior to release

Because testing doesn't add value from a management perspective. Testing either reveals problems with the software, which then have to be fixed, which costs more time. Or Testing shows that everything is ok, in which case you might as well have skipped it anyway because it was obviously a waste of time.

Testing gets labelled as non-productive time and sidelined.

Until something goes wrong. Then some poor developer gets a kicking for making a mistake and not correcting it. Which is difficult when there's no decent testing process.

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Game designer spills beans on chubby-fancying chap with his stolen Mac

Crisp
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Re: Could be innocent

You aren't innocent if you're handling stolen goods.

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Google Glass will SELF-DESTRUCT if flogged on eBay

Crisp
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Re: Bloody Advert!

I only block the badly designed intrusive ads.

I still read the product reviews.

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Crisp
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Re: Bloody Advert!

Have you heard of AdBlock?

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Crisp
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Re: DSA doesn't apply if you've opened the box

Yes it does. I've recently had to return a mobile phone handset to Virgin Media, and they said they'd be quite happy to accept the return even if the security seal on the box had been broken.

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Crisp
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Re: so if I don't like it

They can take away a lot of your freedom in an EULA, but they can't touch your statutory rights.

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Crisp
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Once I've bought it, it's mine.

This is like a car manufacturer putting sugar in the tank of anyone that dares to sell their car second hand.

It's vandalism.

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Foxconn must pay Microsoft for EVERY Android thing it makes

Crisp
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Re: The biggest patent troll

They are very slowly digging their own graves.

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Boffins spin a solid state qubit in a nucleus

Crisp
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Re: quantum state or a Zen state?

There's no reason that it can't be both at the same time!

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Antares aborted after launchpad mishap

Crisp
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Re: El Reg double entendre team

If that doesn't already exist, then it should!

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Boffins build ant-sized battery, claim it's tough enough to start a car

Crisp
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Re: The problem with batteries ...

Well duh! When you design hardware, you design it with the limitations of the technology at hand.

If there were 6KWh batteries the size of a pinhead, you can bet that mobile phone manufacturers would add some feature that would drain that battery in minutes.

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