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* Posts by Crisp

2060 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Home Office launches £4m cyber security awareness scheme

Crisp
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Big Brother

The Biggest Hacking Threat In The UK

Is probably the UK Home Office itself.

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Using encryption? That means the US spooks have you on file

Crisp
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Coming soon to an American town near you

A Key Signing Party!

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Glasgow subway's new smart tickets aren't, moan passengers

Crisp
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Train Journeys are too expensive anyway.

The last trip I took by train cost more that it would to drive to my destination!

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Apple: If you find us guilty in ebook price-fix trial, EVERYONE suffers

Crisp
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Apple sounds like it's issuing an ultimatum

I can see this ending badly for them. Nobody likes being held to ransom like that.

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Pussy galore: Bubble-bath webcam spy outrage

Crisp
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Facepalm

All this controversy about Google Glass

And cats have been secretly filming us for ages.

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Cultivated dope-smoking Welshman barred from own shed

Crisp
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Don't the courts and the police have better things to do?

If the guy wants to grow plants, I say let him.

Who's he hurting?

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FIVE DAY tech job interviews on trial at Oz telco Telstra

Crisp
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Very cunning Telstra

What a great way to get five free days of work out of potential candidates!

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France gives Google three month DATA PRIVACY DEADLINE

Crisp
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Trollface

Re: Google should be kicked out of Europe.

Maybe you could report them to the IWF.

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Six nations ask Google for answers on Glass privacy

Crisp
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Mushroom

Re: Pah

We can only hope that Google isn't preparing to launch a proportional retaliatory response.

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Crisp
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Re: FFS

It's more obvious than those spy camera glasses.

It's difficult to tell them apart from a regular pair of glasses.

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Crisp
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What exactly do those Privacy Commissioners think Google Glass is?

That list of questions doesn't exactly display a firm understanding of the technology.

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Thousands of fingered crims, informants spaffed in web security COCK-UP

Crisp
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Trollface

El Reg was able to look through almost 5,000 records

Were you authorised to look at that material?

Otherwise you're in breach of the Computer Misuse Act 1990.

Computer Law has really got some catching up to do with the realities of the internet.

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COLD BALLS OF FLAME light up International Space Station

Crisp
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Cold Balls of Flame?

Goodness Gracious!

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Drug gang hacks into Belgian seaport, cops seize TONNE of smack

Crisp
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Coat

I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs

Like the police, customs officials, etc

(Stolen from Jack Dee)

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Microsoft lures buy-curious vixens, corduroys with a cheap fondle

Crisp
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Re: If they touted these at IT pro's

They aren't really for IT pro's though.

I've found that slabs are great if you just want to consume information and services. It is not an environment where you could write an application of any great size.

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G-Cloud overlord McDonagh gets CBE nod from Queen

Crisp
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Denise McDonagh

Who?

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Number of cops abusing Police National Computer access on the rise

Crisp
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76 officers in London have been investigated

I'd wager that's just the tip of a very big iceberg.

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Supercomputer vid proves NASA black-hole ring sniffers were RIGHT

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: Why would you assume that the black hole was not rotating?

Because it makes the math easier.

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Google flings another £1m at online child sex abuse vid CRACKDOWN

Crisp
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WTF?

Don't we pay the police to bring criminal scum to justice?

Why do we need to pay charities to do the job that we're already paying the police to do out of our taxes?

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Boffins find evidence Atlantic Ocean has started closing

Crisp
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Pirate

Re: I Blame the EU

This is all because of pirates. Open your eyes people!

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US Supremes: Human genes can't be patented

Crisp
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Coat

Re: I've been 'safed'

Is that a eunuch euphemism?

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Young blokes blinded by video-game addiction: THE FACTS

Crisp
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Trollface

Bedroom head-shots. (That's not a euphemism.)

It is now.

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CTO's man at VMware whistles an 'appy tune

Crisp
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Headmaster

Containerising

Surely you mean containing? Or contained?

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Google donates £1m to child abuse charity ahead of Whitehall meeting

Crisp
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Internet Watch Foundation

Deciding what's acceptable for you to look at since 1996.

(If you don't remember, this was the organisation that effectively cut off access to the Wayback Machine, and blocked access to wikipedia because of a Scorpions album cover.)

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BBC lied to Parliament about doomed £100m IT monster, thunder MPs

Crisp
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No TV License here.

It's not my money they are pissing up the wall.

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What did the Lehman Brothers implosion look like to a techie?

Crisp
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Gnab Gib

If I could up vote articles, I'd do it just for that reference.

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India forges ahead with fibre-to-the-village

Crisp
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How come India can do this

But the UK has to faff about with the likes of BT, who, let's face it; would have a hard time stringing a couple of tin cans together.

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Chinese software pirate gets 12 years in US slammer

Crisp
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He sold $100M of software?

They shouldn't be putting him in prison, they should be giving him a job!

How many salesmen have sales figures even close to approaching that?

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PM Cameron calls for modern, programmable computers! (We think)

Crisp
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Re: Modern methods of computing like coding

Well it sure beats hardwiring connections to the valves by hand!

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Chinese 'nauts prep for next coupling in Heaven, clear way for new station

Crisp
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Coat

Re: rippled rocket exhaust

For her pleasure.

Wait a sec! This isn't the Ann Summers thead!

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Who's the daddy of Virgin Media now? That would be Liberty Global

Crisp
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Tom Mockridge

The guy that replaced Rebekah Brooks after the phone hacking scandal is now in charge of one of the UK's largest phone companies.

Something is raising a red flag here, but I just can't quite put my finger on it...

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So, who ought to be the next Doctor Who? It's up to YOU...

Crisp
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Damn, I didn't see Miranda Richardson on the list first time around!

How do I change my vote?

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Nicked unencrypted PC with 6,000 bank details lands council fat fine

Crisp
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WTF?

The council issued unencrypted laptops to staff when it had problems with its encryption software

Well that was daft.

What the council should have done was train their employees properly. (If they still can't use encryption tools after that, then the council needs to fire their incompetent staff).

It's just encryption, it's not rocket science.

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Singaporean sites protest 'licence to print news' laws

Crisp
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The worst thing about censorship is

T**** ***** *** ****** *** ****!

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YES, Xbox One DOES need internet, DOES restrict game trading

Crisp
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WTF?

Re: (Z,X,P,L & SPACEBAR anyone?)

Q, A, O and P surely!

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IT staff clamouring to pay for their own BYOD kit, says survey

Crisp
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Re: What's stopping me from having half the companies data anyways?

Not much. Apart from your honour as an IT professional.

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Crisp
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Coat

I have to buy my own kit now?

Pencil, Paper and Slide Rule it is then!

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Germans purge selves of indigestible 63-letter word

Crisp
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Re: This thread is full of words that look like variable names I've seen.

Yes, absolutely awful code.

Written by a person who's native language was English.

Who's idea of a good variable name involves some of the worst hungarianesque notation (in an ide that will frigging tell you what type and what class a method belongs to) that I've ever seen.

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Crisp
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This thread is full of words that look like variable names I've seen.

I maintain some awful code.

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BSkyB-owned BE slams into traffic pile-up over 'unlimited' broadband lie

Crisp
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Trollface

Re: Come on 150GB a month - that's a lot of pron :S

Some might argue that is not enough pron!

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Boffins build gesture recognition using WiFi

Crisp
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Re: Security?

Your default password will be the ancient dance of my ancestors.

It goes: Aga do do do, push pineapple, shake the tree.

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Hitchhikers' Guide was WRONG, Earth is not in a galactic backwater

Crisp
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Report from planet Earth suggests planet Earth is important.

I find El Reg to be so humancentric. There are other planets with life out there (possibly,) you know!

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LOHAN team regroups for second pop at SPEARS

Crisp
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Re: brave Playmonaut

Has a Playmonaut been named yet?

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Smut-for-Glass app suffers premature ejection

Crisp
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Re: a weekend with a porn star and a weekend with David Cameron

What's David Cameron going to be wearing?

(You can thank yourself for that disgusting mental picture you're now viewing.)

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Quantum boffins send data ACROSS TIME AND SPACE

Crisp
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Re: How do you know the characteristics are not set?

Because hidden variable theories make predictions that aren't observed in experiments.

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Motorola shows off tattoo and swallowable password hardware

Crisp
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Motorola may not have anticipated the reaction of biblical literalists

Or maybe they did anticipate them, and thought, "We don't really care what a load of batshit crazy bible thumpers think", and then got on with the rest of their day.

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Ex-Microsoft man plans brand of consumer marijuana 'fine cigars'

Crisp
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IT Angle

Has anyone stopped to think of the consequences of this to the IT industry?

We're going to have bleary eyed developers wandering around looking for coffee and snack food. They'll sit about all day at their desks producing quirky random code...

Hang on, are we sure that developers aren't on pot already?

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Fear the Embarrassing Bodies webcam

Crisp
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Penis Expert Business Cards

If you rub them they turn into a postcard!

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BOFH: Go on, beancounter, type DROP TABLE asset;

Crisp
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Polishing the fingernail scratches off the window frame

You've got to take care of the evidence.

Or at least make sure that it points in someone else's direction :)

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