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* Posts by Crisp

2002 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

BAN UK tax breaks on patented tech, fumes German finance minister

Crisp
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Belgium, one of the first countries to introduce a patent box scheme

Should have patented it :D

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Universal Credit? Universal DISCREDIT, more like, say insiders

Crisp
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Dear UK Government

Please could you spend my tax money on people that can actually do the job they are hired to do?

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European Space Agency goes for mostly solid Ariane 6

Crisp
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New rocket to be called the Ariane 6

The cynical part of me is wondering how long the naming committee took to come up with that...

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'Priyanka' yanks your WhatsApp contact chain on Android mobes

Crisp
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Social Engineering

An essential instrument in the hackers toolkit for attacking one of the least secure parts of the system.

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Big Beardie is watching you: Lord Sugar gets into facial recognition

Crisp
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I really don't want tailored ads targeting me

Judging by my Google search history, I'm going to be seeing porn everywhere I go....

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Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

Crisp
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Re: What's the proper way to put out a lithium fire?

Awesome :) El Reg really is an education sometimes. Also, see the comment way way above this one about water inhibiting the thermal runaway.

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Crisp
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What's the proper way to put out a lithium fire?

I am not a chemist, but I remember from school that water and lithium is generally a bad combination. Is water really the safest way to put out a battery fire?

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Texas teen jailed for four months over sarcastic Facebook comment

Crisp
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Re: 'Church of Sarcasm'

Oh yeah! That sounds like a really good idea!

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Crisp
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His family says that the young man has been assaulted in jail multiple times

It's bad enough that he's been jailed for a boneheaded facebook comment, and now this?

Is this the American penal system at work? Is he being assaulted by the inmates or the wardens?

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OFFICIAL: Humans will only tolerate robots as helpful SLAVES

Crisp
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Re: Sex Slave Robots FTW!

How about if I were to build a robot that could consent to and even enjoy being a sex slave? Would that satisfy you?

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UK Post Office admits false accusations after computer system cockup

Crisp
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Some have been jailed and others have lost their homes and businesses

If it can be shown that those bugs are directly responsible for sending innocent people to jail, I think the Post Office are going to have a very very big legal bill on their hands.

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Star Wars missile intercept fails for fifth year running

Crisp
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Can't they have a word with the Israelis?

Their Iron Dome seems to work pretty well.

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15 MILLION dodgy login attempts spaffed all over Nintendo loyalists

Crisp
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Re: I wonder what the criminals were thinking.

They were probably thinking, "Woah, this is easy... Nintendo have obviously not heard of Intrusion detection."

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Elon Musk's Grasshopper tops 300m, lands safely

Crisp
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Re: vertical landing

Vertical landing would be a boon if you were thinking of landing your rocket on a planet or moon with little or no atmosphere.

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Microsoft offloads heap of critical fixes in 'ugly' Patch Tuesday

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: Let's hope that the software engineers behind the space programme never fall into that trap

Yeah.... Let's hope that never happens.

Mariner 1

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Upturned boat sails to Shed of the Year title

Crisp
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Re: Where's the magazine rack

You know what? A pot plant would really spruce that place up a bit.

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Germans brew up a right Sh*tstorm

Crisp
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Ich bin eine Shitstorm!

Sie müssen die Deutschen lieben! :D

(lieben die Deutschen? I can never remember where german verbs are supposed to go)

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UK data cops to Google: You've got three months to sort out privacy

Crisp
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Time for a little less bark and a little more bite

Google isn't going to take data protection seriously until the Information Commissioner's Office does.

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Innovative solution to modern art found: Shoot it into space

Crisp
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Oh that's cute!

An artist trying to be sciencey :D

There are many actual artists that use scientific principles in the creation of their work.

Katie Patterson would do well to study their attempts.

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Ubisoft admits major hacking breach, advises password change

Crisp
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Headmaster

We are recommending you to change your password

I'm not sure which is worse. Screwing up a service that customers have paid for, or the terrible grammar.

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3-2-1... BOOM: Russian rocket launches, explodes into TOXIC FIREBALL

Crisp
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All the kings horses and all the kings men

Couldn't put that rocket back together again.

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Crimelords: Stolen credit cards... keep 'em. It's all about banking logins now

Crisp
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Alert

Re: It's the users who are the problem.

Yeah, but you try telling them that!

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Crisp
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Re: Lazy users,Lazy politicians

Random capitals, rabid foaming at the mouth zeal for open source unix systems....

It's hauntingly familiar.

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Apple 'iWatch' trademark filing hints Cook's make-or-break moment looms

Crisp
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iWatch

Sounds like some kind of two way telescreen.

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Sky News hack of Canoe Man's email in public interest, Ofcom says

Crisp
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Trollface

I wonder what's in Rupert Murdochs email account?

Aw come on! How can that not be in the public interest? You know he's got to be up to something!

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D-Wave IS QUANTUM, insist USC scientists

Crisp
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Trollface

Re: Uncertainty about quantum computing?

I guess we'll find out if it really is a quantum processor after the wave function collapses.

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Facebook restricts ads running next to dodgy posts

Crisp
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Facebook is providing a meeting place for paedophiles

Wait.... What?

Does Labour MP Helen Goodman have any evidence of this? (Besides people posting pictures of their kids?)

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Jiggy Pennsylvania couple busted by 25 bike cops

Crisp
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Re: Brain bleach required

With all these warnings I'm genuinely curious about the link now.

Dare I click on it?

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Prince of Persia: Baggy trousers and curvy swords

Crisp
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A true classic

Modern games developers! Take note!

You could learn a lot from Prince of Persia.

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Facebook slurped phone numbers says Norton

Crisp
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Re: Who doesn't suck in contact lists these days?

Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't make it right.

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UK treasury minister sticks up for HMRC in Google tax row

Crisp
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FAIL

David Gauke assured MPs that HMRC was doing a good job

Forgive me if I wont take the word of a man that thinks paying tradesmen cash in hand for work is morally wrong while he thought it was perfectly fine to fiddle his expenses.

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UK sitting on top of at least 50 years of shale gas – report

Crisp
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Re: Sinking houses

I'm sure nothing bad will happen. Just like when we took all that salt out from under Cheshire.

This is just the same thing but on a larger scale.

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Trick-cyclist's claim: I have FOUND how to get GIRLS INTO TECH

Crisp
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Re: Pretty simple

Speak for yourself. I'm a riot.

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Crisp
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I'm surprised at Sapna Cheryan.

Women enter plenty of professions with a less glamorous image. To suggest that women are this shallow is just as bad as the "lets paint it pink" marketing of tech firms that want to appeal to women.

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Osbo jacks up spending on spooks to keep us safe from TERROR

Crisp
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What terrorists?

The UK survived the blitz, the IRA, and the entire cold war without losing our liberties and freedom.

What's so special about the latest batch of people trying to destroy us that we need to hand over all our cash to GCHQ, MI5 and MI6?

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Boffins create tabletop ANTIMATTER GUN

Crisp
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Go

Re: It needs a room sized laser?

May I suggest: a whale?

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Crisp
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Re: Unlicenced nuclear accelerator?

Why worry?

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FTC tells Google and pals: Not labelling ads properly is 'deceptive'

Crisp
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Advertising Feature

Nothing turns me off a product more than adverts that try and look like regular content.

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Sony unveils latest attempt at an Android SmartWatch

Crisp
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Go

Re: Can you imagine...

Imagine if your date was wearing one!

Gadget Geek Heaven!

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Telly psychics fail to foresee £12k fine for peddling nonsense

Crisp
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Re: How about homeopathic 'remedies' next?

That stuff is dangerous!

Well... it has an LD50 anyway.

Water Intoxication

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Crisp
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Maybe she'll find it in her heart to use that money to compensate her victims.

Well... I can't see the future, but I can hope.

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Crisp
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If you listen very very carefully...

You can hear James Randi dancing a jig :D

But this ruling doesn't go far enough. There should be an announcement every 15 seconds that it's all bullshit.

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Home Office launches £4m cyber security awareness scheme

Crisp
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Big Brother

The Biggest Hacking Threat In The UK

Is probably the UK Home Office itself.

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Using encryption? That means the US spooks have you on file

Crisp
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Coming soon to an American town near you

A Key Signing Party!

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Glasgow subway's new smart tickets aren't, moan passengers

Crisp
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Train Journeys are too expensive anyway.

The last trip I took by train cost more that it would to drive to my destination!

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Apple: If you find us guilty in ebook price-fix trial, EVERYONE suffers

Crisp
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Apple sounds like it's issuing an ultimatum

I can see this ending badly for them. Nobody likes being held to ransom like that.

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Pussy galore: Bubble-bath webcam spy outrage

Crisp
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Facepalm

All this controversy about Google Glass

And cats have been secretly filming us for ages.

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Cultivated dope-smoking Welshman barred from own shed

Crisp
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Don't the courts and the police have better things to do?

If the guy wants to grow plants, I say let him.

Who's he hurting?

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FIVE DAY tech job interviews on trial at Oz telco Telstra

Crisp
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Very cunning Telstra

What a great way to get five free days of work out of potential candidates!

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France gives Google three month DATA PRIVACY DEADLINE

Crisp
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Trollface

Re: Google should be kicked out of Europe.

Maybe you could report them to the IWF.

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