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* Posts by Crisp

2060 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Facebook turns tables on profile stalkers with News Feed tweak

Crisp
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And yet still no way to actually see who's stalking your page

Rather than give me information about my friends that I'm already following, how about telling me who's looking at my information?

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UK plods cuff another bloke in Twitter violence threat probe

Crisp
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High-profile women gets protection from police

Are low profile women going to be able to get the same quality of service?

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End of an era as Firefox bins 'blink' tag

Crisp
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Good riddance to bad markup

Nice to see blink going the way of the marquee tag.

Off the the graveyard of bad design choices.

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Top Brit biz giants love to outsource IT so much, they're gonna do it more

Crisp
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The promise of reducing costs is the main driver

And, like with any other service, you tend to get what you pay for.

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US feds: 'Let's make streaming copyrighted content a FELONY'

Crisp
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Black Helicopters

I like to use VLC to stream content from my media player

Is that black helicopters I can see circling overhead?

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Crisp
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Re: making it a felony to be a corporate whore while in office?

You could get american politicians under their bribery laws. Good luck finding someone to charge and prosecute them though.

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Did a bunch of bankers fax a stranger's sensitive privates to YOU?

Crisp
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Bank fined £75K

Pays for it in loose change.

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Transdimensional rift appears above Australian bolt supplier

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: Gate

Gate? What Gate?

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Crisp
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Re: Gate

What Gate?

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Tor servers vanish as FBI swoops on kiddie-smut suspect

Crisp
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I don't think that law enforcement carried this out.

If they had then they would be crowing from every rooftop about this.

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Terror cops swoop on couple who Googled 'backpacks' and 'pressure cooker'

Crisp
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Land of the free, home of the brave

Why do they need a shadowy secret police like some sort of communist cold war state?

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You're doing WHAT with friends? Zynga sues Bang With Friends maker

Crisp
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Pint

Zynga - which says it owns the '...With Friends' brand

Bugger! I was going to go to the pub with friends tonight.

:(

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Google SELLS OUT the INTERNET HIPPIES! AGAIN!

Crisp
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Re: Someone consistently running 500MB in and out 24 hours a day

They would be running a torrent client. Not a server.

(Although technically, most torrent clients have a few ports open for other clients to connect to, which sort of makes them servers.)

It doesn't have to be a torrent client though. I can eat up 500Mb of bandwidth just copying a database.

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Crisp
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Define: Server

Because my home machine constantly sits with port 3389 open for access. Most people have some sort of port open waiting for inbound connections, because it's a requirement of the software that they run.

I don't see how they can legislate this fairly, without screwing over 98% of ordinary users.

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Apple FINGERED our personal packages every day, claim shop staff

Crisp
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Coat

Re: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Obviously, they frisk each other.

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WikiLeaker Bradley Manning found not guilty of 'aiding the enemy'

Crisp
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Re: what emeny

America is now in a perpetual "War on Terror".

The great thing about the "War on Terror" is that it's wonderfully vague and no one really knows what it's all about.

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UK the 'number 1 target' of online gangsters in 25 countries - e-crime report

Crisp
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Report on e-crime

After clicking on the house of commons link I was very unsurprised to learn that they are still hooked on chasing pedoterrorists.

I predict e-crime will only go up as we get laws banning the use of certain words in search engines.

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Beam me up? Not in the life of this universe

Crisp
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Re: Compression

You'd probably come out a bit pixelated at the other end. I don't want a face like a JPEG compression artifact!

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Plods probe death threat tweets to MP - but WHO will rid us of terrible trolls?

Crisp
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Re: Kinda pointless if you live in a safe constituency, though.

It's thinking like that that makes it pointless.

Get out and vote. Use your voice, or someone else will say things in your name.

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Crisp
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Trollface

Alert Trolls Mum

Best idea since the youtube utility that reads your post back to you before it's sent :D

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Crisp
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Re: who will rid us of these terrible MPs!

You could stop voting for politicians that you don't like.

Or you can get out and vote for ones that represent your interests.

Those are pretty much your options.

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Russia's post-Snowden spooks have not reverted to type

Crisp
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None of the stories in the Western media directly referenced any primary source

I thought that's how journalism was done nowadays.

Someone issues a press release. Other news outlets copy and paste it. Sometimes verbatim, with no research done, no facts gathered and no witnesses interviewed.

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Japanese boffins build 'robotic skin'

Crisp
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Happy

Robotic Skin?

Naked robots!

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Robot cop called in after MAD BONGER blown up in LIQUID MARIJUANA EXPLOSION

Crisp
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Re: Very unfortunate...

They were smoking pot, they don't deserve a death sentence.

What is wrong with you?

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Bank of Thailand bans Bitcoin

Crisp
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Re: Tax mechanism?

And just what's wrong with the current mechanism of, "Give us your money, or we'll put you in prison?"

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Microsoft introduces warning on child abuse image searches

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: And can we know what's on this blacklist ?

There's an easy way to find out.

Enter a search term into Bing. If it pops up a message, then that item is on the list. You could even automate it like a dictionary attack (Except here we're testing a search term for a positive or negative response.)

Though IANAL, and I don't know how illegal it would be to possess knowledge of the forbidden search terms.

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A drone that can walk home

Crisp
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Re: I predict..

I read that in the voice of David Attenborough

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Wow! British Gas bungs a million remote-controlled sales-droids in UK homes

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: No Reception

And what if some wit decides to put a faraday cage around it?

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You MERCILESS FIEND... you put that audio file on AUTOPLAY

Crisp
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Facepalm

HLW ?

A quick Google search suggested that this might stand for High-level waste. But from the context, I'm fairly sure that's not what was meant by that acronym.

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BOFH: Don't be afraid - we won't hurt your delicate, flimsy inkjet printer

Crisp
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Dot Matrix Printers

Are made of machinery and noise!

Even with the acoustic hoods down, they still scream like toddlers.

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London Mayor shows off GIANT BLUE COCK in busy square

Crisp
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Pint

Re: A long way to go

She's a German poking fun, maybe their sense of humour is a little different to ours.

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Chromecast: We get our SWEATY PAWS on Google's tiny telly pipe

Crisp
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Looks Awesome!

I'd totally buy one if I had a TV

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Mozilla ponders blinkers for your browser

Crisp
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Meh

Browsing history

"Browsing history could be matched with interests in categories like technology, sports and cooking"

Yeah.... My browsing history doesn't really cover categories like that. Who knows what kind of stuff it would recommend with El Reg in my browsing history.

You click on one dodgy video on YouTube and suddenly you're getting all sorts of crap "Recommended for you" that you don't want. I fully expect this technology to function in the same way.

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'First' 3D-printed rifle's barrel splits after single shot

Crisp
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Terminator

Firearm Detected!

Please put down your weapon.

You have 20 seconds to comply.

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Curses! Reddit plan for fat old beardy to 'smell hot pop girl Taylor Swift's hair' FOILED

Crisp
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Always nice to see Anon doing something useful

Now if they could only do something about Justin Beeber!

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Senator: Surveillance state based on secret law 'has no place in America'

Crisp
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Secret Laws

Just like those godless commie Russians used to have!

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PHWOAR! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, Prime Minister

Crisp
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Children are getting far more access to pornography

Then stop allowing your children to access pornography.

If children were getting far more access to cars, you wouldn't ban cars. You'd remind parents to keep the keys safe.

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Web advert giant (Google) crams cash into Glass eyeball-chip brainiacs

Crisp
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It injects adverts directly into your eyeballs

Just like this liquid gets injected into this egg.

<<splat>>

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WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

Crisp
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Big Brother

It wont need to be leaked.

I'm sure that all that information is passed along to the Pedofinder General.

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Crisp
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It's like an opt-in internet sex offenders register

Cameron's got a list,

He's checking it twice,

He's going to find out who's naughty, and naughty,

Cameron's come to pilfer your porn.

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French boffins: Regard, our record-breaking long, fat, wet pipe

Crisp
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El Reg Units

"40,632 naughty flicks across the Atlantic every second"

What that in HD porn movies?

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MIT boffins give computers control to clock faster TCP

Crisp
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Terminator

A learning network?

That can reprogram itself? I can't see that going wrong at all....

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Five bods wrongly cuffed thanks to bungled comms snooping in UK

Crisp
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Coat

Re: I had nothing to hide!

The refrain of flashers everywhere!

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Sexbomb pop minstrel Taylor Swift PORN FIB used to lure fanbois

Crisp
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Jerome Segura, came across the scam via a Bing Images search for Taylor Swift.

Yeah, that's what I'd tell my employer too if I got caught doing an image search for Taylor Swift!

Uh! Security research! Look! There's a new Javascript exploit right there!

Now to look for images of Taylor Momsen...

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UK investigators finger emergency beacon for 787 Heathrow fire

Crisp
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Pint

Re: Dammit Falanx!

You made me learn something!

On a Friday as well!

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Apple patents touch display that KNOWS YOU by your fingers

Crisp
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Boffin

What if you don't have fingerprints?

Let's say you've been using a lathe or something and all your fingerprints have rubbed off? How do you unlock your phone then?

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Spotify strikes back at Radiohead - but artists are still angry

Crisp
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Re: What exactly is those artists problem?

Maybe with the abundance of music that artists are producing now, music isn't worth what it used to be.

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Crisp
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What exactly is those artists problem?

They hate it when people pirate their music and they don't get paid.

They hate it when people legitimately stream their music and they do get paid.

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Google teases hush-hush Android event on July 24

Crisp
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Boffin

Assembled in USA

This really caught my eye. Is this a business decision? Or an attempt to avoid all the flak that Apple received over their device manufacturers slave-like labour conditions?

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Yahoo! gets animated GIF commendation for defending user privacy

Crisp
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Lousy Title

I still read it with an exclamation point after every word.

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