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* Posts by Crisp

2035 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Korean stealth-scraper plans will turn 450 metre tower INVISIBLE

Crisp
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Re: Too ambitious

You'd need something like a chameleon circuit for that.

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Crisp
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Re: biggest ever TV surely ?

If you got bronzed just for that post, then I support our moderating overlords wisdom wholeheartedly.

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So, Linus Torvalds: Did US spooks demand a backdoor in Linux? 'Yes'

Crisp
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You want a secure operating system?

You have to write it yourself nowadays it seems.

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IT bloke denies trying to shag sheep outside football ground

Crisp
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"trying to encourage a sheep to perform a sexual act on you"

How would you...? I don't even...

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I, for one, welcome our robotic communist jobless future

Crisp
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Often, the solution offered is that we should therefore tax capital more

We don't need to tax capital. What we need to do is raise the tax entry level above the minimum wage.

Seriously, what's the point in spending all that bureaucratic overhead on paying people a wage they can't live on and then taking tax off them only to give some of it back to them in the form of tax credits?

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MPs: This paperless health service plan isn't worth the paper it isn't written on

Crisp
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For an extra 5 billion, I could fuck it up in ways that no one has ever thought of before.

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Crisp
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Boffin

Re: Er . . .put the civil servant buyers on a bonus system

You've not seen Yes Minister have you?

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Crisp
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I'd be willing to bet another £10 billion

That there are a lot of people that have made a lot of money out of this failure.

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Phil Collins' daughter 'will give you A VIRUS' – security bods

Crisp
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Re: She's a bigger act than you think...

I wonder how she got the job?

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Life … moves … in … slow … motion … for … little … critters … like … flies

Crisp
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Small children are always in a hurry

That's because when you're 5, everything is awesome! You'd be in a hurry too if the entire world was full of really cool stuff you'd never seen before.

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Redmond slips out temporary emergency fix for IE 0-day

Crisp
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Re: Why the hell is ActiveX even allowed

HTML 5 is the future.

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Mid East undersea fibre telco hacked: US, UK spooks in spotlight

Crisp
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I'm guessing that this was totally legal too

Given GCHQ's definition of legal.

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Pizza drones, mad cyclists and Bitcoin-for-arms traders: A vision of LNDN 2023

Crisp
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We will still have to work in the future?

How crap is that?

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How to get a Raspberry Pi to take over your Robot House

Crisp
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ROBOT HOUSE!

Cheese it!

It's Dean Vernon!

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French ministers told to use only secure comms post-PRISM

Crisp
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Re: Verlan

So basically, Pig Latin for the French?

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Lip-wobbling boffins: Eating Chinese food is like kissing a vibrator

Crisp
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Re: Just don't try this at home....

I've heard that you can get "warming" lubricants that have a dash of capsaicin in them...

So I've heard anyway...

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'NSA PRISM spies' shake down victims with bogus child-abuse vids claims

Crisp
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Re: Help me Obi Cam Kanobi you're my only hope

If they can erect a massive firewall to protect us from porn...

...Then why can't they construct one to keep out spammers and malware writers?

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Corel re-animates zombie brand for patent case

Crisp
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That patent is so vague!

Patent 5,959,633 sounds like half the stuff I build!

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Tell me why I don't like Moon days: Bob Geldof heads into SPAAACE

Crisp
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Sir Bob Geldof to go into space

Any word on if he's coming back again?

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Should Nominet ban .uk domains that use paedo and crim-friendly words?

Crisp
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Re: I could see banning offensive words,

Why is Jaffa Cake offensive?!?

Did the Goa'uld put in a complaint?

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Crisp
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Code Words

Yet more words that are kept secret from us and would cause a search on Bing to get flagged up.

Those are our words! (probably, I don't know what they are) Just because some elements of the criminal underworld have co-opted them doesn't make everyone that uses them a criminal.

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Intel reveals 14nm PC, declares Moore's Law 'alive and well'

Crisp
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14 nm!

How much heat are these chips putting out? I'm thinking that this manufacturing process packs transistors denser, which would translate to the same amount of heat being generated in a smaller space.

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David Attenborough warns that humans have stopped evolving

Crisp
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Re: Overpopulation

Human life is already cheap.

Don't believe me? You can get a longer sentence for theft or destruction of property than for murder.

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WAIT! Don't you dare send that ad-spaff email without 'specific' consent

Crisp
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"any other form of electronic marketing message"

Here's hoping that includes automated dialers.

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Startup claims 1W wireless charging at 10 metres

Crisp
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Tesla would be proud!

Wireless energy transmission, yeah, he thought of that.

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Swiss space plane to launch robotic orbital debris destroyer

Crisp
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This looks like an ok solution for large objects

But what about all those nut and bolt sized chunks of metal whizzing around?

I'd have thought it would be easier to dodge a large object coming your way than it would be to avoid a shotgun pellet like smattering of metal.

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400 million Chinese people can't speak Chinese: Official

Crisp
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Mandarin?

No! She went of her own accord!

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The bank that likes to say... crash: TSB's online banking goes titsup on launch day

Crisp
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Re: Testing! Or as I call it, "The other half of the job" @Crisp

Everyone cocks something up at some point or another. Even me.

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Crisp
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Testing! Or as I call it, "The other half of the job"

Test, then test, and test some more.

Test everything!

Test it isolation.

Test it from end to end.

Test it with loads of data.

Test it with no data.

Test it with wrong data.

Sorry for getting testy, but why bother writing code if you're not going to make sure it works?

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Bristol boffins announce QUANTUM CLOUD

Crisp
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ENIAC was the size of a house.

It was a massive machine that you had to book time on. It was a specialised piece of equipment that cost a fortune and wasn't practical for everyone to own. As time went on and techniques were refined and new technology became available you could eventually fit ENIAC's function into something the size of a wrist watch.

This almost looks like history repeating itself. Give it a few more years and we'll be able to get a quantum processor on a PCI card.

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Headmaster calls cops, tries to dash pupil's uni dreams - over a BLOG

Crisp
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Just who does that headmaster think he is?

I'm surprised he didn't get done for wasting police time.

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New! Yahoo! logo! shows! Marissa! Meyer's! personal! touch!

Crisp
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Wow! What a logo!

I'm going to start using their search engine this very second!

Search results? Why would I be interested in how well the thing actually works?

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The Solar System's second-largest volcano found hiding on Earth

Crisp
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"As much as we know that anything's dead, this looks dead"

Then leave it alone!

Never poke or make fun of dead things. People that do that are usually the first to die in horror movies.

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'Unreliable, shambolic' ... a top CompSci prof slams Serco's UK crim tag tech

Crisp
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All of this makes me wonder

How many people have been wrongly convicted of tampering?

After all, who's going to take the word of a criminal over that of "expert evidence"?

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New online banking Trojan empties users' wallets, videos privates

Crisp
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Re: opposite of Hooray

Oh bugger!

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Continuous delivery: What works (and what doesn't)

Crisp
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Dammit Adrian! I'm a Coder not a Baker!

Great article though :)

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Forget Mars: Let's get someone on the Moon – NASA veteran

Crisp
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Re: Horseless carriages

"You would make a ship sail against the winds and currents by lighting a bonfire under her deck...I have no time for such nonsense." -- Napoleon

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MPs blocked from ogling 'web smut' 300,000 times – WHILE IN PARLIAMENT

Crisp
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A flustered Commons spokeswoman insisted...

Damn! If she backpedals any faster she's going to start travelling through time!

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Beat the UK's incoming smut filter: Pre-censor your grumble flicks

Crisp
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In a shocking twist of events

The Digital Playground 2005 film Pirates is still surprisingly watchable.

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South Carolina couple cop cuffing for shed shag

Crisp
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Ah! Risky Sex!

Trouble is, when seeking the thrill of being caught; there's always the possibility of being caught.

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Brit music body BPI lobbies hard for 'UK file-sharers database'

Crisp
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The BPI declined to comment

That in itself speaks volumes.

They'll quite happily engage in secret talks with service providers, yet wont talk to the press about their schemes to keep us all on a piracy database.

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US gov preps sale of TOP SECRET disease research island

Crisp
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A human body with "long fingers"

Are they sure it's not Slenderman?

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China confirms plans for first Moon visit later this year

Crisp
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Re: Kerbal Space Program

Get the Mech Jeb addon. It makes fine tuning a transfer orbit so easy.

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Crisp
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Re: And we still have the NSA and the TSA and the Dept of Homeland Security today.

Beating the terrorists at their own game by taking away american freedoms first!

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NSA: NOBODY could stop Snowden – he was A SYSADMIN

Crisp
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Re: HE WAS A SYSADMIN

Please tell me that the NSA doesn't let sysadmins work alone? At one installation I worked at, being caught at a terminal on your own was grounds for immediate dismissal.

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Boffins follow TOR breadcrumbs to identify users

Crisp
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Re: Or behind a firing squad.

Or worse, in front of a firing squad!

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Punter strikes back at cold callers - by charging THEM to call HIM

Crisp
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Cue sounds of "I wish I'd thought of that!"

If I had a pound for every bugger that's phoned me asking me about my PPI claim.

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Dopey dope-growing dope smoked out by own dope dope-growing vid

Crisp
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Re: I personally consider pot no more dangerous than alcohol.

I brewed enough alcohol last year to kill a full grown man.

That's legal, yet growing plants is not. Go figure.

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NASA's nuclear Mars tank REBELS against human control

Crisp
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Curious Joyride

How do we know some Martian hasn't hotwired it?

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Boffin snatches control of colleague's BODY with remote control BRAIN HAT

Crisp
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The next step is two-way conversation directly between the two brains.

This is both slightly disturbing and freaking awesome at the same time.

I wonder what happens to "Me" when I hook my brain up to someone else's.

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