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* Posts by Crisp

1969 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

'NSA PRISM spies' shake down victims with bogus child-abuse vids claims

Crisp
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Re: Help me Obi Cam Kanobi you're my only hope

If they can erect a massive firewall to protect us from porn...

...Then why can't they construct one to keep out spammers and malware writers?

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Corel re-animates zombie brand for patent case

Crisp
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That patent is so vague!

Patent 5,959,633 sounds like half the stuff I build!

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Tell me why I don't like Moon days: Bob Geldof heads into SPAAACE

Crisp
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Sir Bob Geldof to go into space

Any word on if he's coming back again?

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Should Nominet ban .uk domains that use paedo and crim-friendly words?

Crisp
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Re: I could see banning offensive words,

Why is Jaffa Cake offensive?!?

Did the Goa'uld put in a complaint?

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Crisp
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Code Words

Yet more words that are kept secret from us and would cause a search on Bing to get flagged up.

Those are our words! (probably, I don't know what they are) Just because some elements of the criminal underworld have co-opted them doesn't make everyone that uses them a criminal.

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Intel reveals 14nm PC, declares Moore's Law 'alive and well'

Crisp
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14 nm!

How much heat are these chips putting out? I'm thinking that this manufacturing process packs transistors denser, which would translate to the same amount of heat being generated in a smaller space.

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David Attenborough warns that humans have stopped evolving

Crisp
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Re: Overpopulation

Human life is already cheap.

Don't believe me? You can get a longer sentence for theft or destruction of property than for murder.

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WAIT! Don't you dare send that ad-spaff email without 'specific' consent

Crisp
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"any other form of electronic marketing message"

Here's hoping that includes automated dialers.

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Startup claims 1W wireless charging at 10 metres

Crisp
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Tesla would be proud!

Wireless energy transmission, yeah, he thought of that.

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Swiss space plane to launch robotic orbital debris destroyer

Crisp
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This looks like an ok solution for large objects

But what about all those nut and bolt sized chunks of metal whizzing around?

I'd have thought it would be easier to dodge a large object coming your way than it would be to avoid a shotgun pellet like smattering of metal.

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400 million Chinese people can't speak Chinese: Official

Crisp
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Mandarin?

No! She went of her own accord!

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The bank that likes to say... crash: TSB's online banking goes titsup on launch day

Crisp
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Re: Testing! Or as I call it, "The other half of the job" @Crisp

Everyone cocks something up at some point or another. Even me.

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Crisp
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Testing! Or as I call it, "The other half of the job"

Test, then test, and test some more.

Test everything!

Test it isolation.

Test it from end to end.

Test it with loads of data.

Test it with no data.

Test it with wrong data.

Sorry for getting testy, but why bother writing code if you're not going to make sure it works?

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Bristol boffins announce QUANTUM CLOUD

Crisp
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ENIAC was the size of a house.

It was a massive machine that you had to book time on. It was a specialised piece of equipment that cost a fortune and wasn't practical for everyone to own. As time went on and techniques were refined and new technology became available you could eventually fit ENIAC's function into something the size of a wrist watch.

This almost looks like history repeating itself. Give it a few more years and we'll be able to get a quantum processor on a PCI card.

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Headmaster calls cops, tries to dash pupil's uni dreams - over a BLOG

Crisp
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Just who does that headmaster think he is?

I'm surprised he didn't get done for wasting police time.

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New! Yahoo! logo! shows! Marissa! Meyer's! personal! touch!

Crisp
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Wow! What a logo!

I'm going to start using their search engine this very second!

Search results? Why would I be interested in how well the thing actually works?

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The Solar System's second-largest volcano found hiding on Earth

Crisp
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"As much as we know that anything's dead, this looks dead"

Then leave it alone!

Never poke or make fun of dead things. People that do that are usually the first to die in horror movies.

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'Unreliable, shambolic' ... a top CompSci prof slams Serco's UK crim tag tech

Crisp
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All of this makes me wonder

How many people have been wrongly convicted of tampering?

After all, who's going to take the word of a criminal over that of "expert evidence"?

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New online banking Trojan empties users' wallets, videos privates

Crisp
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Re: opposite of Hooray

Oh bugger!

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Continuous delivery: What works (and what doesn't)

Crisp
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Dammit Adrian! I'm a Coder not a Baker!

Great article though :)

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Forget Mars: Let's get someone on the Moon – NASA veteran

Crisp
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Re: Horseless carriages

"You would make a ship sail against the winds and currents by lighting a bonfire under her deck...I have no time for such nonsense." -- Napoleon

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MPs blocked from ogling 'web smut' 300,000 times – WHILE IN PARLIAMENT

Crisp
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A flustered Commons spokeswoman insisted...

Damn! If she backpedals any faster she's going to start travelling through time!

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Beat the UK's incoming smut filter: Pre-censor your grumble flicks

Crisp
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In a shocking twist of events

The Digital Playground 2005 film Pirates is still surprisingly watchable.

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South Carolina couple cop cuffing for shed shag

Crisp
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Ah! Risky Sex!

Trouble is, when seeking the thrill of being caught; there's always the possibility of being caught.

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Brit music body BPI lobbies hard for 'UK file-sharers database'

Crisp
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The BPI declined to comment

That in itself speaks volumes.

They'll quite happily engage in secret talks with service providers, yet wont talk to the press about their schemes to keep us all on a piracy database.

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US gov preps sale of TOP SECRET disease research island

Crisp
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A human body with "long fingers"

Are they sure it's not Slenderman?

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China confirms plans for first Moon visit later this year

Crisp
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Re: Kerbal Space Program

Get the Mech Jeb addon. It makes fine tuning a transfer orbit so easy.

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Crisp
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Re: And we still have the NSA and the TSA and the Dept of Homeland Security today.

Beating the terrorists at their own game by taking away american freedoms first!

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NSA: NOBODY could stop Snowden – he was A SYSADMIN

Crisp
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Re: HE WAS A SYSADMIN

Please tell me that the NSA doesn't let sysadmins work alone? At one installation I worked at, being caught at a terminal on your own was grounds for immediate dismissal.

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Boffins follow TOR breadcrumbs to identify users

Crisp
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Re: Or behind a firing squad.

Or worse, in front of a firing squad!

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Punter strikes back at cold callers - by charging THEM to call HIM

Crisp
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Cue sounds of "I wish I'd thought of that!"

If I had a pound for every bugger that's phoned me asking me about my PPI claim.

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Dopey dope-growing dope smoked out by own dope dope-growing vid

Crisp
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Re: I personally consider pot no more dangerous than alcohol.

I brewed enough alcohol last year to kill a full grown man.

That's legal, yet growing plants is not. Go figure.

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NASA's nuclear Mars tank REBELS against human control

Crisp
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Curious Joyride

How do we know some Martian hasn't hotwired it?

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Boffin snatches control of colleague's BODY with remote control BRAIN HAT

Crisp
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The next step is two-way conversation directly between the two brains.

This is both slightly disturbing and freaking awesome at the same time.

I wonder what happens to "Me" when I hook my brain up to someone else's.

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Boffins lay bare exotic Lara Croft meteorite element ununpentium

Crisp
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Element 115

You can't really run an X-COM operation without it!

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Boffins' keyboard ELECTROCUTES Facebook addicts

Crisp
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This would be a scathing post about self-discipline

But here I am wasting time on El Reg.

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Samsung to bring 55-inch MONSTER curvy-telly to the UK

Crisp
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Re: People with a lot of money don't need a 55' window on the world.

They have actual windows that big.

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Star Wars revival secret: This isn't the celluloid you're looking for

Crisp
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Re: "hardcore analogue-lovers"

Just try typing that phrase into a search engine.

Damn you Google autocomplete!

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Crisp
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Re: CGI has never IMO come close to the models

This is the biggest reason (among many others) that I mourned the passing of Jim Henson.

If you wanted a believable on-screen alien that could interact with the rest of the cast, that's the guy you went to.

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NASA: Full details on our manned ASTEROID SNATCH mission

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: Moon landing

No.

It would take less Delta V to park it in orbit, and require a less massive ship for the astronauts to go and visit it.

(I am not an astrophysicist. Much of my knowledge of orbital mechanics has been cribbed from Kerbal Space Program.)

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Crisp
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Re: A really, really, really, RE-EAH-LEE expensive mission to...

Get a chance to discover new and wonderful things about our solar system, its origins, its history, and what it's made of.

At that doesn't even scratch the surface of all the technology they'll be inventing to actually do it, and all the spin off technology that will inevitably come from that.

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Botched court doc outs Google as respondent in national security flap

Crisp
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Re: Can I just say....

No.

Apparently you ███'█.

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Wall Street traders charged with stealing company code via email

Crisp
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Re: Other Methods for Extracting information

They could have always just read it and memorised it.

They can't throw you in jail for remembering stuff.

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An autopilot the size of a postage stamp

Crisp
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Re: Micro-AA guns

If they don't come with lasers to turn drone copters into rapidly disintegrating fireballs, I'll be sorely disappointed.

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Our Vulture 2 spaceplane sprouts sleek pointy beak

Crisp
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Knocking up a model of it in Kerbal Space Program now

It looks like it should fly!

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Russian spyboss brands Tor a crook's paradise, demands a total ban

Crisp
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Anti-child-abuse campaign

You could ban the entire internet tomorrow, and I doubt it would have any effect on child molesters hanging around the local park.

It seems to me that Aleksandr Bortnikov is trying to treat a symptom rather than trying to treat the cause. ( If we assume that he is in earnest and he really does want to protect children )

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Hacktivists boast of English Defence League KO after website downed

Crisp
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FAIL

Hacktivism

All Anonymous seem to have done here is raise awareness of the EDL and make them look like victims.

Nice job breaking it anon!

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Fame-hating planets don't need to hang around STARS – boffins

Crisp
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Re: MIndbogglingly big

Larger than a breadbox, but smaller than a solar system.

It's all relative.

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Bradley Manning sentenced to 35 years in prison

Crisp
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Re: No....

I don't think Americans are really aware of a world beyond their borders.

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Legal bible Groklaw pulls plug in wake of Lavabit shutdown, NSA firestorm

Crisp
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Doesn't this violate attorney/client privilege?

Or does that only apply in the case of criminal proceedings?

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