* Posts by Crisp

2100 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

BT jabbed by ad watchdog AGAIN over fibre deployment fibs

Crisp
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It's getting to the point where you're better off assuming everything BT say is a lie

BT simply cannot be trusted to give a straight answer

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MPAA, RIAA: Kids need to learn 3 Rs – reading, writing and NO RIPPING

Crisp
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Re: Let's generalise this a bit

Who says advertising doesn't work!? :D

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Crisp
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The MPAA and RIAA are pitching the idea of grooming kids early?

Did no one at those groups stop to think about the unfortunate implications of this?

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Chinese Bitcoin exchange DISAPPEARS, along with £2.5 MEEELLION

Crisp
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Pint

And beer according to Alex Brett @16:28

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Crisp
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@Cliff

Are you saying that I should move my money out of HSBC?

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Crisp
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Communist Governments

They know how to keep their troublemakers in line!

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Boffins boggled by ORB-shaped electrons

Crisp
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Re: Nature loves to do idle integration

The proof is left as an exercise for the universe.

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Right royal rumpus over remote-control 'RoboRoach'

Crisp
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Cyborg Cockroaches?

I think I'm going to need a bigger can of Raid!

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Blighty's banks prep for repeated kicks to cyber-'nads in Operation Waking Shark II

Crisp
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How is this a fair test?

In the real world, you wouldn't necessarily know an attack is coming, or where it would be directed.

I doubt this "attack" will employ any techniques that the defending staff haven't specifically been told to prepare for.

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Martian MOM LAYS another EGG in SPACE - but it's not big enough

Crisp
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That's not a slingshot!

That's a Hohmann transfer!

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Rogue US-Israeli cyberwar weapon 'infected Russian nuclear plant'

Crisp
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Re: Flash

Ahhhhhh Hhhhhhha!

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Crisp
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Well we know who built Stuxnet

I suggest that the governments affected sue the perpetrators from orbit. This kind of collateral damage could have been prevented had the original developers actually targeted their attack.

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Google patent: THROAT TATTOO with lie-detecting mobe microphone built-in

Crisp
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Lie detector? Galvanic skin response?

Someone at Google/Motorola doesn't know how the human body works apparently.

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Boffins build R2-WEE-2: The urine-powered robot with a human-like heart

Crisp
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Re: "I need your clothes, your boots..."

And a urine sample.

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Latest global menace: ELECTROPULSE NORKS, apparently

Crisp
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Mushroom

EMP's? Just like in Red Dawn?

WOLVERINES!

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The CURSE of WHO: WHY has there never been a decent videogame with the Doctor?

Crisp
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What about that game with the sonic screwdriver?

You know, that one you could get on Linux desktops. Where all the darleks chased you around the screen.

Someone must know what I'm on about.

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You've been arrested for computer crime: Here's what happens next

Crisp
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Image hash database

Is this publicly available so that sysadmins can run preventative measures?

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SCIENCE and RELIGION AGREE! LIFE and Man ARE from CLAY

Crisp
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Highly developed organisms such as Register readers?

[Citation Needed]

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Apple: How we slip YOUR data to govts – but, hey, we're not Google

Crisp
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How exactly is this helping to fight "terrorism"?

Are the NSA really that interested in my high score on Plants Vs Zombies?

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Apple patents technology to STALK YOU in your own HOME

Crisp
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A person can set a schedule controlling the heating or cooling of his house.

I'm pretty sure I already have a device in my house that's doing that right at the moment.

And my oven already has a timer on it.

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Thought you didn't need to show ID in the UK? Wrong

Crisp
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That's Theresa May for you.

She can't get her own house in order (remember that fiasco with her border staff just letting everyone through because they were "under staffed"), so she's very neatly trying to sweep the problem under someone elses rug.

Most landlords have a hard enough time maintaining their properties. They have neither the time, nor the qualifications to verify the identity and eligibility of someone to stay in the UK. Hell, if the Home Office itself can't figure out who's legally entitled to live in the UK, how is a landlord?

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The 10 most INHUMAN bosses you'll encounter: A Reg reader's guide

Crisp
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Re: Yup. That's me.

I am at work.

My code's compiling.

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Tim Cook stands firmly behind pro-LGBT, anti-discrimination law

Crisp
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Nice to see America catching up to the rest of the civilised world.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal" seems like a nice place to start. I read that in a declaration of independence somewhere.

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If you're not paying, you're product: If you ARE paying, it's no better

Crisp
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Possessions are fleeting

And so it would seem, is data.

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UK.gov BANS iPads from Cabinet over foreign eavesdropper fears

Crisp
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Better late than never Gov.UK

In future, I recommend closing the stable door before the horse has bolted.

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Win XP? Your PLAGUE risk is SIX times that of Win 8 - NOW

Crisp
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Trollface

Re: Maths fail.

Well done. Have .1 of a cake.

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Crisp
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Re: Is that...

That's because anyone running XP 64-bit has to be a freaking wizard to get any drivers to work with it!

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Nokia wins UK patent spat: Quick, let's boot HTC One out of Blighty

Crisp
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Re: Oh my

I full support the call for a George Takei Icon.

(even though George Takei is an icon)

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HTC phone STOPS BULLET, saves Florida gas station clerk's life

Crisp
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That is freaking AWESOME!

And good to know that in a pinch, my HTC can be used as a bullet proof vest panel.

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HP fires sue-ray at makers of Blu-Ray

Crisp
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Yeah, you can guarantee that we're already being gouged by the current price fixing scandal that will only come to light in 2020.

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ROBOT PODS to INVADE Milton Keynes in frenzied automatic MAYHEM

Crisp
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£2 per journey?

Why so much? Is each pod equipped with a mini bar and a monkey butler?

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Syrian Electronic Army claims Obama social media hijacking

Crisp
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I'd have thought that the President would have had better security

If they skimp on security to the point where a bunch of script kiddies can crack his accounts, I wonder what the rest of their security is like?

You could probably break into the White House if you know which rock they hide the front door key under.

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Call yourself a 'hacker', watch your ex-boss seize your PC without warning

Crisp
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Necessary computer skills and intent

Hang on. Hacker == Intent?

Is having the necessary computer skills really the same as going equipped to cause damage?

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Payday loan firms are the WORST. Ugh, my mobe's FILLED with filthy SPAM

Crisp
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Re: @#$!!

I wouldn't mind getting spam at all if I was paid for it.

I think that £1 per message would do it.

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Hard-as-woodpecker-lips MOUSE GOBBLES live scorpion, LAUGHS off stings to face

Crisp
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Pint

Quite possibly the hardest mouse in the world.

I bet he drinks Carling Black Label

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Intel: Our first five parallel-computing schools are open for business

Crisp
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Easy Access to Parallel Computing

Nvidia's CUDA is a great introduction to parallel computing. Recently, I've been looking at CUDA to do financial calculations. A problem that lends itself very well to parallel computing, as there are a lot of calculations that don't depend on the results of others.

Rather than go through each transaction sequentially, work can be divided up and farmed out to the graphics card and the length of the task is shorter by orders of magnitude.

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Surface Pro 2: It's TOOL-PROOF and ultimately destined for LANDFILL

Crisp
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No User Serviceable Parts Inside

Challenge Accepted!

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THIS is the kind of clout a British Prime Minister has: Facebook pulls ONE beheading vid

Crisp
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Does the PM think that Zuckerberg himself is posting each individual video?

It would be "irresponsible of Facebook to post beheading videos" if Facebook were doing that. But it's not. It's a piece of software.

It is the [b]people using the software[/b] that are the problem!

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UK.gov open to hiring EX-CON hackers for cyber reserves

Crisp
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Hiring convicted hackers

Would it not make more sense to hire the ones that don't make a habit of getting caught? I'm no expert, but I'd have thought that not getting caught would be the defining characteristic that separates the skilled hackers from the regular ones.

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Swedish teen's sex video fine slashed: Unwilling co-star girlfriend furious

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

Re: "It feels like a slap in the face"

Was she copying the Tulisa Contostavlos sex vid?

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HP CEO Whitman: We've built the PC that GOD wants

Crisp
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What would a god need with a computer?

See title.

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Unsupervised Brit kids are meeting STRANGERS from the INTERNET

Crisp
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Re: So far I've avoided goatse.

Be grateful that no one has shown you lemonparty yet.

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Crisp
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How are children still getting access to unsecured computers?

I remember a time when there was a simple way to stop children from using computers that they weren't supposed to. There was a lock on the front panel that would disable the keyboard.

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MoJ fined £140K for EMAILING privates of 1,000 inmates

Crisp
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Once is careless, but three times?

Are they absolutely sure this is a mistake?

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If there's somethin' strange in your network 'hood. Who y'gonna call? Google's DDoS-busters

Crisp
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No Technical Details?

For all we know Google could be selling a rock that keeps DDoS attacks away.

Had a denial of service attack? No? The rock must be working then!

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Hands up, who couldn't post to Facebook today? Oh, MILLIONS of you

Crisp
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"posting status updates on the free content ad network"

"posting status updates on the content free ad network"

FTFY

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MPs to grill Facebook: You're going to let our teens do WHAT?

Crisp
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Hosts

www.facebook.com 127.0.0.1

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Crisp
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Now that MP's have stepped in to fix the problem

This whole thing should be cleared up nice and sharpish.

I'm sure that the Right Honourable Members of Parliament will tackle this with the usual skill and aptitude that they've displayed with every other IT related issue.

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