Feeds

* Posts by Crisp

2060 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

UK.gov open to hiring EX-CON hackers for cyber reserves

Crisp
Silver badge

Hiring convicted hackers

Would it not make more sense to hire the ones that don't make a habit of getting caught? I'm no expert, but I'd have thought that not getting caught would be the defining characteristic that separates the skilled hackers from the regular ones.

3
0

Swedish teen's sex video fine slashed: Unwilling co-star girlfriend furious

Crisp
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: "It feels like a slap in the face"

Was she copying the Tulisa Contostavlos sex vid?

0
0

HP CEO Whitman: We've built the PC that GOD wants

Crisp
Silver badge

What would a god need with a computer?

See title.

1
0

Unsupervised Brit kids are meeting STRANGERS from the INTERNET

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: So far I've avoided goatse.

Be grateful that no one has shown you lemonparty yet.

0
0
Crisp
Silver badge

How are children still getting access to unsecured computers?

I remember a time when there was a simple way to stop children from using computers that they weren't supposed to. There was a lock on the front panel that would disable the keyboard.

0
0

MoJ fined £140K for EMAILING privates of 1,000 inmates

Crisp
Silver badge

Once is careless, but three times?

Are they absolutely sure this is a mistake?

3
0

If there's somethin' strange in your network 'hood. Who y'gonna call? Google's DDoS-busters

Crisp
Silver badge

No Technical Details?

For all we know Google could be selling a rock that keeps DDoS attacks away.

Had a denial of service attack? No? The rock must be working then!

0
0

Hands up, who couldn't post to Facebook today? Oh, MILLIONS of you

Crisp
Silver badge

"posting status updates on the free content ad network"

"posting status updates on the content free ad network"

FTFY

5
0

MPs to grill Facebook: You're going to let our teens do WHAT?

Crisp
Silver badge

Hosts

www.facebook.com 127.0.0.1

4
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Now that MP's have stepped in to fix the problem

This whole thing should be cleared up nice and sharpish.

I'm sure that the Right Honourable Members of Parliament will tackle this with the usual skill and aptitude that they've displayed with every other IT related issue.

1
0

Bacteria-chomping phages could kill off HOSPITAL SUPERBUGS

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Giant person-eating super-phages

When they get large enough to be visible to the naked eye, couldn't we just hit them with a baseball bat?

6
1

Forget Wi-Fi, boffins get 150Mbps Li-Fi connection from a lightbulb

Crisp
Silver badge

How many polite, competent network engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.

0
0

Snap-happy blogger babe posts catcalling blokes' mugshots online

Crisp
Silver badge

Revenge

Starting a cycle of revenge is probably not the best way to settle this issue once and for all.

2
1

Terminator-style robot busts leg in martial arts demo mishap

Crisp
Silver badge

Before pics are useless without After pics

See title.

1
0

MPs to review laws on UK spy-snoopery after GCHQ Tempora leaks

Crisp
Silver badge

Agencies seek to find the needles in the haystacks

Might I suggest that they use a magnet rather than a flamethrower to find them?

2
1

Behold, the MONSTER-CLAWED critter and its terrifying SPIDER BRAIN

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: land-based nasties so bad?

Eat a Honeypot Ant and tell me that doesn't taste good!

0
0

Ubisoft's Watch Dogs muzzled by delays

Crisp
Silver badge

It didn't happen with Uplink

It wont happen with Watch Dogs.

Those spooks don't know what they are talking about.

0
0

US parents proclaim 811 'Messiahs'

Crisp
Silver badge

That would make their son King Joke.

That's not a very nice name for King Joke.

1
0

PLEASE let us build Fruit Loop Central, Apple begs Cupertino City

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Anus horribilis

Surely you mean annus?

0
1

Cannabis can CURE CANCER - cheaply and without getting you high

Crisp
Silver badge

Cannabis cures cancer?

I know some people that are going to live for ever!

7
0

Thousands! of! Yahoo! Mail! users! driven! crazy! by! revamp!

Crisp
Silver badge

Yahoo Articles

Yahoo articles are less annoying if you interpret each on of those ! as a "Boing!" sound.

1
0

Now that's real science: CYBORG MONKEYS with PROSTHETIC ARMS

Crisp
Silver badge

Replacement limbs for American troops

As soon as I read that, my first thought was of that guy from Starship Troopers

0
1

Smile for the cops! Sexy Snapchat selfies' self-destruct scrubbed by search warrants

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: I take it we're talking pedos trading CP here?

No we're probably talking about kids trading their selfies with other kids.

6
0

Snowden's email provider Lavabit flows again to let users retrieve data

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: I believe this is a trap

Where's Admiral Ackbar when you need him?

2
0

Oracle says open source has no place in military apps

Crisp
Silver badge

Turkeys campaigning against xmas has started early

Software house would rather people bought their product rather than roll their own?

Who'd of thought it?

7
0

Let police track you through your mobe - it's for your OWN GOOD

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: importance of having a mobile phone in the car

Get a cheap nokia brick phone like a Nokia 5100 and keep it in the glove box. It'll hold it's charge for ages, and it will let you make emergency calls even without a sim.

1
0

Osborne to China: Keep watching Downton and we'll gloss over Huawei security worries

Crisp
Silver badge

George Osborne doesn't have a clue does he?

He's like a duck in a hot air balloon.

He's got no clue where he is, how he got there, or what he's going to do next.

And when this all goes to pot, we're going to get crapped on from a great height.

4
2

Island-hopping Beardy Branson: I'm dodging rain, not taxes

Crisp
Silver badge

Nice to see Branson planning on doing something productive

Finally.

1
1

Leaping SpaceX GRASSHOPPER ROCKET jumps 2,500ft, lands safely

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Mechjeb

Mechjeb isn't cheating!

It just makes things slightly easier....

2
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Well it works in Kerbal Space Program.

What took them so long?

3
0

Murdoch calls for world+dog to 'expose' Google

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Every man is a pedophile until proven otherwise

So sayeth the Pedo-Finder General!

1
0
Crisp
Silver badge

I'd ask the world and his dog for dirt on Rupert Murdoch

But everyone already knows the kind of nefarious stuff his organisation gets up to.

1
0

Apple bags top Windows feature: Blue Screen Of Death arrives on iPhone 5S

Crisp
Silver badge
Boffin

Apple blatantly COPIES Windows

It's not copying when Apple does it.

They call it "innovation"

1
0

Foxconn 'fesses up to labour breaches: Made students work long hours

Crisp
Silver badge

No academic credit

What a swindle!

Intern is another word for free labour in some companies.

6
0

YouTube turns on dormant DRM, permits official downloads

Crisp
Silver badge

Don't worry

Some enterprising programmer will come up with a fix for it.

0
0

ECHR rejects free speech plea over offensive online comments

Crisp
Silver badge

Many angry readers posted "highly offensive or threatening" comments

And this recent court decision is likely to generate even more.

0
0

Facebook RIPS away your veil of privacy, declares NO MORE HIDING

Crisp
Silver badge

BRB

Deleting fucking everything...

0
0

Office wage slaves face extinction at hands of ROBOTS - if bosses listen to Gartner

Crisp
Silver badge

Garter is more right than they think.

Right now, I could replace half my co-workers with a hundred line QBASIC program.

3
0

Turkish TV presenter canned for flashing too much cleavage

Crisp
Silver badge

Silly Turkey

We men aren't so weak willed that a flash of cleavage will cause us to go on a sex fueled rampage.

The dress was fine.

7
0

Web daddy Tim Berners-Lee: DRMed HTML least of all evils

Crisp
Silver badge

DRM is not the right solution.

As a consumer, I've always found DRM a right hassle. In the case of the BBC it's stopped me from watching things that I have a legitimate right to see.

All this will do is encourage people to find workarounds so that they can watch the content they've purchased.

6
0

Payday loans firm rapped for failing to register with Info Commissioner

Crisp
Silver badge

That's a bit of a slap on the wrist isn't it?

I bet Hamed Shabani could pay that with the change in his pocket.

2
0

EU digital tsar 'Steelie' Neelie Kroes: Telcos must adapt to losing roaming cash

Crisp
Silver badge

Neelie's plan

"Neelie's plan is to get rid roaming charges across Europe by forcing operators to scrape them altogether."

If they scrape them altogether, won't charges increase? They should be scrapping them!

5
0

Printing the Future: See a few of UK’s 6.2 million 3D-printed ‘things’

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Yes, but is it art? Photo

3D printed porn?

You mean I can have my own Lexi Belle? :D

0
0

Be prepared... to give heathens a badge: UK Scouts open doors to unbelievers

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: to do my duty to the Queen

Duty is open to interpretation :D

1
0

Android adware that MUST NOT BE NAMED threatens MILLIONS

Crisp
Silver badge

Detailed information will be provided to FireEye's customers

And that I suspect is why they aren't naming the culprit.

Screw the poor users. FireEye wants money!

4
0

Digital 'activists' scramble to build Silk Road 2.0, but drug kingpins are spooked

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Is bumping off your enemies all just fine

Well the CIA don't seem to have a problem with it...

2
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Shortage of UK drug dealers?

Legalise the weed and there'll be hardly any!

2
3

UK bankers prep for cyberwar: Will simulate ATTACK on system

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: war game

Would you like to play a game?

>Total Global Financial Meltdown_

4
0
Crisp
Silver badge

They've already been tested.

And the easiest way to empty someones bank account is through the end user.

Good luck patching that hole.

0
0

Brits spend one in every 12 waking minutes online, say beancounters

Crisp
Silver badge
Coat

Other

Weirdest spelling of porn I've ever seen!

0
0