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* Posts by Crisp

2007 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

Crisp
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How do we tell if our universe is a hologram?

We look for the big silver H on its forehead of course!

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Three quarters of South Korea popped in online gaming raids

Crisp
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My Starcraft II league rating is about to go up!

Goodbye Bronze League! Platinum here I come!

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IT blokes: would you say that LEWD comment to a man? Then don't say it to a woman

Crisp
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This article doesn't represent me or anyone I've worked with.

Phoummala Schmitt doesn't have a problem with IT Blokes, she has a problem with arseholes. This should be properly reflected in the title of the article.

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BAT-GOBBLING urban SPIDER QUEENS swell to ENORMOUS SIZE

Crisp
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We're going to need to breed some kind of Big Bird to take care of these spiders

Then we're going to need to genetically engineer some kind of enormous cats to take care of the birds...

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'Video on internet may not be entirely truthful': Times headline

Crisp
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Do The Times really expect us to believe that?

That people would just go on the internet and tell lies?

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US Copyright Office rules that monkeys CAN'T claim copyright over their selfies

Crisp
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Copyright is a fickle mistress

Though I was looking forward to the monkey launching his own legal proceedings.

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Hear ye, young cyber warriors of the realm: GCHQ wants you

Crisp
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fAiling tO cApitalise tHe sEcond lEtter?

Quite possibly one of the most heinous crimes I've ever heard of!

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RealVNC distances itself from factories, power plants, PCs hooked up to password-less VNC

Crisp
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Does Yahoo really go around taking screenshots of peoples desktops?

I'd like to see some evidence of that claim.

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Intel's Haswell-E brain to emerge from the lab at end of August – reports

Crisp
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Re: SATA 3.2 ????

I've got an SSD in my desktop and the thing goes so fast it's a wonder that it doesn't end up travelling backwards through time.

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Twitter displays our 'Favorites'. That is, like, PRIVATE, huff naive users

Crisp
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Should have used Menshn...

Never had a problem with privacy on that site.

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Top money men face up to 2 YEARS in slammer for neglecting to spot crim-cash activity

Crisp
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HSBC only got a slap on the wrist last time.

And they were actually laundering money for drug dealers and terrorists. I doubt that these "money service businesses" are going to be treated any differently.

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Who needs hackers? 'Password1' opens a third of all biz doors

Crisp
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Password fields need to be bigger.

I have to truncate most of my favourite pass phrases in order to use them as passwords.

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Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'

Crisp
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Re: Siri ...

lmgtfy

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Google hops into bed with Brit red-top: Cooks up 'draw an app' coding compo for kids

Crisp
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"Last year 15 times as many boys took the [Computing] A level as girls."

That's probably because more boys did the course than girls.

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No more turning over a USB thing, then turning it over again to plug it in: Reversible socket ready for lift off

Crisp
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Re: Size Part 2...

I've always been surprised that the port labels back there aren't written in Braille.

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Google's 'right to be forgotten': One rule for celebs, another for plebs

Crisp
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Are those search results just removed for europeans?

In other words, can I still Google for a picture of Barbra Streisand's house from somewhere outside the EU?

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Bath boffins put BUGS on chips – on purpose

Crisp
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I wonder if they could use other bacteria to detect other stuff?

Like hazardous chemicals or gold.

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Anonymous wifi the latest casualty of Russia net neurosis

Crisp
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Re: if the US can be far behind then?

The US are way in front with episodes like the McCarthy era. Except that now they actually have the technology to do it properly.

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TracBeam sues Apple over location

Crisp
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A US patent doesn't seem to be worth the paper it's printed on anymore

See title.

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UK.gov eyes up virtual currencies, fingers red tape dispenser

Crisp
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They can regulate it

As soon as a politician can describe to me in detail, what it is that they are regulating.

I wont hold my breath.

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True fact: Hubble telescope spots ZOMBIES in SPACE

Crisp
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Re: It'll still give...

Yeah, but imagine the peace and quiet!

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Google on Gmail child abuse trawl: We're NOT looking for other crimes

Crisp
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Re: MD5 seems rather a bad choice

Especially due to the high number of hash collisions that would result from using that to identify pictures.

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Apple wins patent on charging iThings THROUGH THIN AIR

Crisp
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Isn't this just existing technology

But in an Apple product?

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BANGKOK-BLOCKED: Thailand's dictators 'ban dictator sim Tropico 5'

Crisp
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That should stop the problem once and for all.

Has Thailand finally solved the problem of people downloading books and games from the Pirate Bay? Because if not, I can see a bit of a loophole...

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Evidence during FOI disputes can be provided in SECRET

Crisp
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Re: If the public knew the truth about Company X...

Except now people are going to think, "Company X is having a secret tribunal, they must be up to no good."

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Robot snaps on yellow RUBBER GLOVES, preps to invade Canada

Crisp
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Brain the size of a planet...

And they ask me to hitch hike across Canada...

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Ad biz now has one less excuse to sponsor freetards and filth

Crisp
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I see the CLOP are throwing their weight around again.

Where exactly is their jurisdiction?

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It's official: You can now legally carrier-unlock your mobile in the US

Crisp
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UCCWCA - Poor choice of acronym

What's that supposed to spell huh?

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Keep your iPhone calls private, whispers Signal

Crisp
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Is there anything like this for android?

See title

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Google Maps community competition falls foul of Indian regulations

Crisp
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If India has nothing to hide

They have nothing to fear.

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Bitcoin on ATM? Pfft! We play DOOM on ours

Crisp
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Re: much of an achievement?

I tell you what, you guys go back to work and I'll sit here playing Doom all afternoon.

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Secure microkernel that uses maths to be 'bug free' goes open source

Crisp
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Still vulnerable to hacking

But only via the high speed lead projectile vector.

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Google to feed machines with evidence of human physical weaknesses – and that's a good thing

Crisp
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Molecular biologist Andrew Conrad?

I thought that name sounded familiar. But only because of that guy from Stargate; Adrian Conrad who ended up with a snake inside his head.

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ONE EMAIL costs mining company $300 MEEELION

Crisp
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Some media outlets didn't even bother calling him to check the facts

Are there really media outlets out there that indulge in such nefarious practices?

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Beancounters tell NASA it's too poor to fly planned mega-rocket

Crisp
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Coat

Re: This thing is never going to fly.

It works in Kerbal Space Program.

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Who should do security clearance checks? Did you say 'chat-bot'? This military slinger hopes so

Crisp
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Re: HR Droids are almost as devoid of smarts as well.

Well, if droids could think, there'd be none of us here, would there?

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Help yourself to anyone's photos FOR FREE, suggests UK.gov

Crisp
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I'd like to begin by quoting

The entire series of images that make up Star Wars.

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Major problems beset UK ISP filth filters: But it's OK, nobody uses them

Crisp
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Serious question: What's the difference between nudity and pornography?

Those categories are worthless without definitions.

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Lawyer reviewing terror laws and special powers: Definition of 'terrorism' is too broad

Crisp
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"intimidate or coerce or to compel"

That describes almost every Daily Mail article ever written.

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HIDDEN packet sniffer spy tech in MILLIONS of iPhones, iPads – expert

Crisp
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You don’t just type 'Joshua' for full access.

Hmmm, A password with 50 trillion combinations....

I'll try Geoff.

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You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary

Crisp
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There's a legit place where I can download stuff?

Will it let me download stuff that I already own on a different format?

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Boffins fill a dome with 480 cameras for 3D motion capture

Crisp
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Paris Hilton

maximum a posteriori....

f'nar!

Paris, because she's got a maximum a posteriori.

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Cave pits, ideal for human bases, FOUND ON MOON

Crisp
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Re: Probably not that big a probe needed

I was thinking something the size of a tennis ball with as many sensors as you can cram into it and still leave room for a compressed air propulsion system.

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Chrome browser has been DRAINING PC batteries for YEARS

Crisp
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Now we know how the Google bug ticketing system works.

1) Find bug

2) Post bug in an article to Forbes

3) Google fixes the bug.

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Cops nab suspect using CREEPY facial recog system

Crisp
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Re: Latex Masks

Google Handsome Guy Human Mask.

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iSense something, a presence not felt since... Apple sketches fanboi-finding infrared sensors

Crisp
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Re: re. the stupidity of the USPTO

You are Dogbert, and I hereby claim my five pounds.

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British cops cuff 660 suspected paedophiles

Crisp
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Re: unlikely

But not unheard of. Wasn't there a morning TV presenter that got done by the police for that?

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German NSA probe chief mulls spy-busting typewriters

Crisp
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Re: Longevity, so far up to thousands of years.

Try hundreds. It you want it to last thousands of years, carve it in stone.

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Don't put that duffel bag full of cash in the hotel room safe

Crisp
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You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

Safe cracking has come a long way since the 60's.

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Google: Glass goggles are a 'fairly lousy surveillance device'

Crisp
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What does Andrew Paterson think Glass does?

Am I going to start having to worry about the Data Protection Act when I'm using my Android phone too?

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