Feeds

* Posts by Crisp

1901 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Mounties always get their man: Heartbleed 'hacker', 19, CUFFED

Crisp
Silver badge

He should have used 7 proxies.

See Title.

5
0

Look out, bankers! It's Lily Cole and her (Brit taxpayer-funded) WISH-PRINTING ATM

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Someone vomited hashtags all over impossible.com

#yes, #but #you #can't #have #a #modern #site #without #hashtags!

0
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Urgh! What a god awful site!

It's slow. So slow. The interface is awkward and difficult to navigate. It looks like someone has decided to use pretty much every single transition known to JQuery to display, move or hide elements (and there's no way to turn it off.). It looks like one of those Web 2.0 websites where every flashy new technology has been used just for the sake of it.

There's no verification of users. Yes, you can create an account with bogus credentials and then upload anything you like. The entire site is full of schoolboy errors like this. I don't know about you, but for £200K I expected more.

1
0

New FEMTO-MOON sighted BIRTHING from Saturn's RING

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: DON'T PANIC

No one likes Comic Sans.

2
0

NSA denies it knew about and USED Heartbleed encryption flaw for TWO YEARS

Crisp
Silver badge

Anything prefixed with "NSA denies"

Can be taken as the gospel truth.

0
0

Want a free Bosch steam iron? You'll have to TALK TO THE DEAD

Crisp
Silver badge

Ouija boards

Probably one of the few communication methods left that aren't under constant surveillance by the NSA.

6
0

It may be ILLEGAL to run Heartbleed health checks – IT lawyer

Crisp
Silver badge

Would it contravene the Computer Misuse Act?

AFAIK, and IANAL: There is precedent set for using the function of a system, even though such a function may not be intended behaviour. (Old Bailey trial 3 Oct. 1973)

However, taking the information gained and using that to circumvent a security measure would be contravening the act.

Disclaimer: The above is pure speculation. Again, IANAL.

0
0

Murdoch says Microsoft needs 'big clean out'

Crisp
Silver badge
Alert

Re: He's relevant, regardless of how ignorant he is.

That's even worse!

1
0
Crisp
Silver badge

It's quite sad really...

Rupert Murdoch thinks he's relevant and has something to contribute. Yet the man continually demonstrates his ignorance every time he utters his opinion.

7
1

Broadband Secretary of SHEEP sensationally quits Cabinet

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: How about trial by combat?

Two MPs enter!

One MP leaves!

0
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Re: poacher/gamekeeper

How about trial by jury for MPs?

7
0

Snowden lawyer PGP email 'crack' flap: What REALLY happened?

Crisp
Silver badge
Coat

-----BEGIN PGP MESSAGE-----

Version: GnuPG v2.0.17 (MingW32)

It's all plain text now baby!

-----END PGP MESSAGE-----

1
0

Honeybee boffin STINGS OWN WEDDING TACKLE... for SCIENCE

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Did it double his manhood in size?

I too was wondering if there was any swelling.

0
0

David Cameron defends BT's taxpayer-funded broadband 'monopoly': It's a 'success story'

Crisp
Silver badge

I don't think that Prime Minister David Cameron knows what he's defending.

But he's just gone an squandered a ton of public money, so he's got to say something.

9
1

Is this photo PROOF a Windows 7 Start Menu is coming back?

Crisp
Silver badge

Is the headline similar to a Daily Mail article?

Has El Reg journalism sinking to the lowest common denominator?

Can you replace facts with wild speculation if you phrase it in the form of a question?

2
2

Want to see at night? Here comes the infrared CONTACT LENS

Crisp
Silver badge

Will this give me Terminator style night vision?

See Title.

0
0

How Microsoft can keep Win XP alive – and WHY: A real-world example

Crisp
Silver badge
Go

I read as far as the $500k a year development job...

And immediately started updating my CV

2
0

FCC doubles 5GHz spectrum in prep for one-gigabit Wi-Fi

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: peanut butter and jelly

Bacon and tomato sauce surely!

0
1

BlackBerry sucker-punches TV star Ryan Seacrest in patent brawl

Crisp
Silver badge

As far as I'm concerned...

All Qwerty keyboards are practically the same. Mostly from the necessity of having all the keys in a place where a touch typists fingers know where to find them.

2
0

CERN team uses GPUs to discover if antimatter falls up, not down

Crisp
Silver badge

I can totally see this working.

Machines may be better placed to discover chunks of data that the scientists weren't expecting or even looking for.

0
0

UK cops: Keep yer golden doubloons, ad folk. Yon websites belong ta PIRATES

Crisp
Silver badge

"We are not making the IWL public."

Then how am I supposed to check to see if any of my websites are on it?

4
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Re: block the domain from being accessed

Great idea :) That should solve the problem once and for all!

0
0

Google researcher says government hack attacks on journos on the rise

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Time for a big step back?

Upvote for the Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines reference. :)

0
0

Facebook, you fools! Forget Oculus, you could have bought TRON-type headsets

Crisp
Silver badge

There is smut available in 3D SBS format

Why wasn't this the subheading?

10
0

Meet the man building an AI that mimics our neocortex – and could kill off neural networks

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Advanced AI is being developed to replace YOU who read this comment

Someone's developing an AI that drinks coffee and post comments on El Reg all day instead of writing code?

Who would do something like that?

3
0

Watch your brain LIVE in 3D, then train your mind from inside it

Crisp
Silver badge

I can use my brain to fly through my brain to see my brain thinking about my brain?

Mind. Blown.

3
0

Dutch doctors replace woman's skull with 3D-printed plastic copy

Crisp
Silver badge
Terminator

How long until we can print the rest of the human?

It's only a matter of time...

0
0

Hot, young under-25s: Lonely slab strokers who shun TV

Crisp
Silver badge

Don't have a telly here either.

It's just easier to download shows off the internet and watch them at your convenience. Or indeed, in your convenience.

2
0

Sick of walking into things while gawping at your iPhone? Apple has a patent app. for that

Crisp
Silver badge
Coat

Or they could just use Google Glass...

Just saying...

...ok ok! I'm going!

0
0

Judge throws out lawsuit lobbed at Facebook for using kids' pics in targeted ads

Crisp
Silver badge

Minors can give consent now?

District Judge Richard Seeborg might want to rethink that decision!

17
0

Facebook Oculus VR buyout: IT WANTS your EYEBALLS

Crisp
Silver badge

I was worried that Zuckerberg literally wanted my eyeballs then

I wouldn't put it past him though. I'm going to start checking app permissions a little bit more carefully now.

7
0

Dear Reg: What is a 'Lag' and a 'Jacksey'?

Crisp
Silver badge

Oh Cecilia!

You're breaking my heart.

19
0

Terminator-maker 'Cyberdyne Inc' lists on Tokyo stock exchange

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: HAL ... evil AI creation.

I totally agree. HAL wasn't evil, just misguided.

4
0

Candy Crush King sees IPO go sour as stock price heads south

Crisp
Silver badge

It couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch of theives

It'll do no good for Albert Ransom, but I do take a little bit of delight in seeing someone get their comeuppance.

5
1

As WinXP death looms, Microsoft releases its operating system SOURCE CODE for free

Crisp
Silver badge

MS DOS Didn't get good until version 3.2

But you still needed a separate boot disk if you wanted to play video games. Unless you were some kind of batch file wizard.

0
0

MPs blast HMRC for using anti-terrorism laws against whistleblower

Crisp
Silver badge

Terrorism laws being used for something other than combating terrorism?

Margaret Hodge is a little late to the party isn't she? Or is passing bad laws only something she takes an interest in when it directly embarrasses her?

8
1

Move over Microsoft: RealNetworks has a GOOGLE problem

Crisp
Silver badge

RealPlayer! Wow!

Let me fire up a 56K modem, connect to Compuserve, and download a movie that will crap out at 76%.

That takes me back!

3
0

RISE of the LIVING CHAIR: Boffins recruit E coli to build futuristic materials

Crisp
Silver badge

So what do I do when my sofa eats my coffee table?

See title.

2
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Like El Reg readers have never had that experience before.

Sugar Free Gummi Bears

0
0

TV sales PLUMMET. But no one's prepared to say what we all know

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: "5 blade jobbie."

Try a single blade Bic. I find that the multi-blade razors tend to accumulate hair between the blades, reducing efficiency. Which probably explains why they work better when you rub it backwards down your leg.

2
1

How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year

Crisp
Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

We’d have been disappointed to be number two.

Ronald Hall owes me a new keyboard.

2
0

TEN THINGS Google believes you believe about Glassholes and wishes you didn't

Crisp
Silver badge

@Da Weezil

I like Google Glass as much as the next bloke. It's a great way of accessing small amounts of data in an unobtrusive manner.

BUT! If Larry Page came into my bathroom and started filming me in the shower and tweeting the video all over facebook, I'd say "OI! PAGE! NO!" Being the CEO of a multi-million dollar company does not give you the right to come into my bathroom and start filming me in the shower!

(apologies to Harry Enfield.)

8
0

EA games web server was hosting PHISHING SITE – securobod

Crisp
Silver badge

Can't EA get anything right?

I've still not forgiven them for ruining Dungeon Keeper.

4
0

Monkey steals iPod touch, loses interest in minutes

Crisp
Silver badge

Stormi-Lee Whitford parents were lucky...

That monkey could have racked up 1,000's of dollars worth of purchases on Candy Crush!

2
0

Kent Police fined £100k for leaving interview vids of informants in old cop shop

Crisp
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: infinite loop of cash

Problem?

0
0
Crisp
Silver badge

Re: ...preferably out of a canon.

...Into the Sun.

0
0

Google settles copyright suit with Viacom over YouTube vids

Crisp
Silver badge

What happened to Fair Use?

How else am I supposed to use South Park clips to educate people?

1
0

Eight hour cleansing to get all the 'faggots' and 'bitches' OUT of Github

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: That's my code knackered then.....

I too was wondering what GitHub's patrons have against tasty pork dishes in gravy.

0
0

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Friday is Pi Day

Crisp
Silver badge

Pi Day? You mean Half Tau Day surely...

Tau Manifesto

1
0

Who DOESN'T want to play world's tallest game of Tetris – all 437ft of it

Crisp
Silver badge

Re: Me

Because the sudden appearance of a 437ft CyberDemon is likely to cause mass panic.

1
0