* Posts by Crisp

2359 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

The Mad Men's monster is losing the botnet fight: Fewer humans are seeing web ads

Crisp
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Re: Complexity is fraud

We should have copied the Icelandic model and just let the banks fail.

Do you know what the knock on consequences of that were? Icelandic households will get £750 million of their household mortgage debt "cancelled", spread over a four year period.

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I love you. I will kill you! I want to make love to you: The evolution of AI in pop culture

Crisp
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Re: GLaDOS

Seeing as she was a copy of Cave Johnson's secretary Caroline, was GLaDOS a true AI?

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BT broadband is down: Former state monopoly goes TITSUP UK-wide

Crisp
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So that's the reason the phones are lighting up...

Of course the customer can't even get through to do a Google search, but somehow from their point of view it's our site that's the problem.

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Lincolnshire council IT ransomware flingers asked for ... £350

Crisp
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I'm not buying the "0-day exploit" story.

I think it might have something to do with government offices using things like Windows XP well after its sell by date.

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BOFH: In-depth IT training needs a single-malt distillery

Crisp
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Pint

Single-malt breakfast headache medicine

Is what I'll be calling it from now on.

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Feds slap Rentboy.com boss with further charges

Crisp
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Pay someone for sex, and they are a prostitute.

Add a video camera, and then they're a performer.

Why is one illegal but the other one isn't?

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UK Home Sec wants Minority Report-style policing – using your slurped data

Crisp
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May praised the work of the Police ICT Company, which aims to standardise the desperate IT

Is this the same police force that can't network their 43 separate systems together?

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UK police have 43 separate IT systems and it's putting you at risk

Crisp
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He said one single police ICT system would be dangerous, for example if it fell over.

What we need is 43 separate systems, each capable of screwing up in a completely different way.

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Lincolnshire council shuts down all IT after alleged 0-day breach

Crisp
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Seriously?

Have they not heard of this thing called encryption that gov.uk has been banging on about?

"[we] have suspended IT use until the extent of it is clear."

So no IT for the next few years then...

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Outage outrage: Banks need clear targets for improving IT systems

Crisp
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There's already IT expertise in the boardroom

Usually whenever someone needs a projector set up or a laptop plugged in...

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That one weird trick fails: Google binned 780 million ads last year

Crisp
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When they can guarantee that advertising wont be a malware vector...

I'll turn my adblock off.

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Gov must hire 'thousands' of techies to rescue failing projects

Crisp
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"he was useless, managed to delete the website a couple of times"

Why on Earth would you let a developer have access to a production system? That's just asking for trouble.

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Trump's new thought bubble: Make Apple manufacture in the USA

Crisp
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Hang on Mr Trump...

Does the USA even have the manufacturing capability for Apple to just up sticks and move their entire manufacturing process to america?

Do they even have large scale microchip fabrication facilities over there? Are the hard drives made in America? Will Apple be able to source screens from an American manufacturer?

Will Mr Trump be paying for all this himself?

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Adblock Plus blocked from attending ad industry talkfest

Crisp
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You have been blocked from a conference known to host malware.

Malware protection is the main reason I keep AdBlock running.

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999 What's your emergency: Mega millions Met call handling IT muckup?

Crisp
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Mushroom

Re: being able to summon up an F16 or B2

You can't solve all your problems with air strikes.

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Kiwi hackers crack crap algo, showcase 40c-a-litre DIY fuel discounts

Crisp
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"[The] fault lies with the design of the algorithm and not with Z"

Was this algorithm forced on Z? Were they made to implement it without checking it first?

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DWP building a separate ID tool as Verify can’t cut it, whisper sources

Crisp
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This is a solved problem surely?

Thanks to two factor authentication my bank knows exactly who I am. Thanks to the wonders of encryption I can be fairly sure that no prying eyes can read the contents of my transmissions.

If banks can do this kind of thing for online banking then why can't the government? It's not even hard! I think even Blizzard use a similar system for protecting it's users too. If it can be done for video games, it can be done for the DWP.

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Nvidia GPUs give smut viewed incognito a second coming

Crisp
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Re: Well done

He pulled it off quite nicely.

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Boozing is unsafe at ‘any level’, thunders chief UK.gov quack

Crisp
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Pint

There is no “safe drinking level”

So I'm not safe even if I have zero beers!

Maybe a quick pint (or two) will help take my mind off the danger...

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Three-years-late fit-to-work IT tool will cost taxpayers £76m

Crisp
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My GP knows if I'm fit to work or not.

And if they wont believe the evidence provided by my GP (Who I assume is a qualified medical doctor and everything), why is the NHS employing him?

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ISPs: UK.gov should pay full costs of Snooper's Charter hardware

Crisp
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Only 2 billion?

Given the amount of false positives such a snooping program would provide, I can see the cost of investigating each one costing the taxpayer much more than that.

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CES tech show adds new security checks after fears of violence

Crisp
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Bags and backpacks with many pockets are not helpful.

Neither is groping every attendee and rifling through their stuff.

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Grim-faced cosmonaut in ISS manual docking nail-biter

Crisp
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Re: One thing I learned on Elite...

Docking computers are a waste of money.

If you can't dock without losing your paintwork, you shouldn't be in space.

- Paraphrased from The Dark Wheel.

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UK police cuff suspect over VTech toy hack

Crisp
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Flame

The real question is why hasn't anyone at VTech been arrested?

Adding my voice to what Guus has said above;

Why aren't VTech being held accountable for this? They've not lost anything trivial like their customers bank details or their credit card information. They've practically left the door open for hackers to walk off with the unencrypted details of over 6,370,000 children.

Craig Jones advising consumers to follow cyber-security advice is a poor sop to angry parents that have done nothing wrong and are quite rightly concerned that their children's details are out there on the internet and available to people that might not have their childrens best interests at heart.

You can follow all the cyber-security advice you like, but it will do you no good if they company storing your data gets breached.

What are the parents of these 6,370,000 children supposed to do? Move house and change all their phones? What deterrent will be put in place to remind companies that our data is valuable to us and will cause us a material harm if it is not kept safe?

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Curiosity Rover digs into humanity's first alien sand dune

Crisp
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Go

If Curiosity can scoop sand...

Then there's every chance it can rack up another first. The first sandcastle on an alien world!

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Rupert Murdoch wants Google and chums to be g-men's backdoor men

Crisp
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The US public "want safety over privacy"?

If only someone had seen this kind of tyranny coming... Oh wait! Someone did!

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Ben Franklin

Over 200 years ago!

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SpaceX starts nine-day countdown to first flight of the new Falcon

Crisp
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Coat

Focus!

Maybe if Elon Musk spent more time on his rockets and less time doing cameos in sitcoms he might actually get around to landing a rocket booster on a barge one day!

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GCHQ Christmas Card asks YOU the questions

Crisp
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It's a Nonogram.

It's a Nonogram.

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ISS 'nauts prepare for Cygnus space truck consensual grappling

Crisp
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All it needs is The Blue Danube as a sound track.

See title.

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Dailymotion hit by malvertising attack as perpetrators ‘up their game'

Crisp
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Malicious adverts?

That's all of them isn't it?

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ASCII @dventure game NetHack gets first upgrade in ten years

Crisp
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Nethack got me started on roguelike games. Angband made me love them.

And then Hengband. Which is absolutely awesome for killing half an hour while TFS decides if my code will build or not.

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'Dear Daddy...' Max Zuckerberg’s Letter back to her Father

Crisp
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Re: My headstone shall say

Or Google+

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Hacker predicts AMEX card numbers, bypasses chip and PIN

Crisp
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Re: Great job AMEX, because secuity by obscurity works so well

The really scary thing is that their algorithm is predictable. From what I gather from the article, from a single card number, you can predict what the replacement card number and expiry date will be.

So all I have to do is steal your card, wait for it to be reported lost or stolen, and then I can quite happily start spending money on your replacement card. I don't even need to know the pin. I can just pretend to swipe a dummy card with that gadget in my palm and just put a signature down.

Whoever implemented that algorithm needs to be sentenced to life at an Amazon warehouse.

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Randall Munroe spoke to The Reg again. We're habit-forming that way

Crisp
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Thumb Up

Randall Munroe on El Reg?

We are not worthy!

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Dell: How to kill that web security hole we put in your laptops, PCs

Crisp
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Surely this is criminal behaviour

If someone sells me a lock for my front door knowing that it can be opened with a screwdriver, then they haven't sold me the secure lock that I thought I'd bought.

It's high time that manufacturers were held accountable for the security holes that they leave in their products. These issues cost real people time and money to fix, and they can be so easily avoided with a little bit of diligence.

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Paris, jihadis, tech giants ... What is David Cameron's speechwriter banging on about now?

Crisp
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People without advanced tech knowledge are absolutely allowed to write about technology

They just aren't very good at it.

Source: Clare Foges

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Brit filmmaker plans 10hr+ Paint Drying epic

Crisp
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Make sure that the BBFC is doing their job properly.

Insert a few hundred frames of something in there to make absolutely sure that they watched the whole thing closely.

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Astronomers catch first sighting of a planet's birth pangs

Crisp
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Re: Either way

You can do the same thing by watching Dave.

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Terrorists seek to commit deadly 'cyber attacks' in UK, says Chancellor Osborne

Crisp
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Re: "If our electricity supply, or our air traffic control, were.....attacked online,

We're quite good at attacking our own air traffic control.

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Openreach boss quits BT in midst of split uncertainty

Crisp
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Ultrafast?

Like Sweden had ten years ago?

I can't wait!

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UK citizens will have to pay government to spy on them

Crisp
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Re: Everyone is going to need to start running a TOR relay.

The idea isn't to do all my surfing using TOR.

The idea is to soak up my excess bandwidth with a lot of extra data by running a TOR relay node. This then provides The Powers That Be with an awful lot of encrypted chaff to separate from my encrypted wheat.

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Crisp
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Everyone is going to need to start running a TOR relay.

If the government wants information, then I'll give them more information than they can handle.

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TalkTalk to swallow £35m ‘financial impact’ after attack

Crisp
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"TalkTalk takes the security of customers’ data extremely seriously"

Since when!?!

Obviously this is some new meaning of the word seriously that can only be found in the Urban Dictionary.

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GCHQ director blasts free market, says UK must be 'sovereign cryptographic nation'

Crisp
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I'm not sure that I entirely believe Hannigan.

"People and business in the UK should use encryption to protect themselves. "

Good. I agree with that. I don't want someone pinching my credit card number or masquerading as me online.

" All the government is saying is information needed for national security and serious crime purposes should not be beyond the lawful, warranted reach of the state when the need arises."

I understand that. But what that means is that the government wants us to have weak encryption that can be broken, or some kind of other method of decrypting the content of a transmission. And they want this method in place without anything that can be described as a "backdoor".

The fact remains that if the encryption is weak, then it can be broken by anybody. If there's a second method of decrypting the content, then that method can be discovered by anybody. The end result is the same.

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Einstein's brain to be picked by satellites

Crisp
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Unexpected Science

Picture the scene:

You're quite happily going about your day when suddenly...

Unexpected Science!

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Ice volcanoes just part of Plutonic pandemonium

Crisp
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Re: hummocky

I had to look up that word too :

"Hummocky cross-stratification is a type of sedimentary structure found in sandstones. It is a form of cross-bedding usually formed by the action of large storms, such as hurricanes. It takes the form of a series of "smile"-like shapes, crosscutting each other."

I learnt something new!

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UK lawmakers warn Blighty to invest more in science, or else

Crisp
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How about free university places for STEM subjects?

At the moment about the only thing you're guaranteed to get after a three year engineering degree is a £36,000 debt.

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Drones are dropping drugs into prisons and the US govt just doesn't know what to do

Crisp
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Equip each guard with a butterfly net.

This solution wont work. But it will be fun to see prison guards running around with butterfly nets trying to catch drones.

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OmniRAT malware scurrying into Android, PC, Mac, Linux systems

Crisp
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I've got four of them.

They are adorable little creatures.

Although training them is a lot harder than programming a computer.

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Sun of a b... Solar winds blamed for ripping away Mars' atmosphere

Crisp
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Re: With a dome is your survival is utterly reliant on a single breakable thing

So we need a double skinned dome! If one of them breaks, you've got another redundant backup to hold the atmosphere in while you make repairs.

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