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* Posts by Crisp

2077 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

Crisp
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Two cars travelling in opposite directions on a mountain road...

I'd imagine that the two cars would be aware of each other and their location. The software would know of all the places on the road where two cars could pass safely and then the software would manoeuvre the vehicles to the nearest passing place and resolve the deadlock there.

No one needs to get rammed off the road at all.

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Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie FIRED in three-way fsck row

Crisp
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Blatant Misandry

Why is it the two lads doing all the work?

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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Crisp
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Re: "Steamed footage available through the site"

Website reports an error code of 418.

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What should America turn to for web advice? That's right: GOV.UK – says ex-Obama IT guru

Crisp
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Re: Outer Space Act of 1986

I'm applying right now. I'll let you know how I get on.

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Giant bank IT cockup of 2012 'could have brought down ENTIRE financial system'

Crisp
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The cause of the IT incident...

"The cause of the IT incident was the failure of the banks to have the proper controls in place to identify and manage exposure to the IT risks within their business" - The Regulator

I thought that the cause was the bank outsourcing their IT operations to people that had never seen a mainframe before.

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Boffins train robots to pull apart LCD screens – without breaking them

Crisp
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First it's LCD displays...

Next we'll be seeing whole swarms of these things tearing apart ship hulks for scrap.

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ATTACK OF THE DRONES: ‘Nefarious’ private use rising, says top Blighty copper

Crisp
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Re: How heavy ?!

Prostitution is just as illegal as being a peeping tom.

I don't know why. It just is.

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Anonymous ‪hacks the Ku Klux Klan after Ferguson‬ threats

Crisp
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Facepalm

Poke the Hivemind

You might as well try kicking a Grizzly Bear in the nuts.

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MYSTERY Russian satellite: ORBITAL WEAPON? Sat GOBBLER? What?

Crisp
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Re: sattelite spying sattelite?

There's your Kickstarter pitch right there...

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Crisp
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Black Helicopters

It's obviously a "Weather Satellite"

Like in Maximum Overdrive...

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Has your STARFISH been DRIBBLING awful SLIME? Scientists now know WHY

Crisp
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"There are ten million viruses in a drop of sea water"

So more like searching for a needle in a needle stack then?

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Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode

Crisp
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"The game is still on track for a December 16 release"

I think I'll wait for Space Citizen then...

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Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

Crisp
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Re: The bible is a book ?

Pedants would say that it's a collection of 66 books.

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Crisp
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The Bible? Which one?

Must be The C Programming Language by Brian Kernighan and Dennis Ritchie

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The Pirate Bay co-founder exits jail, now, er, free to eat vegan food

Crisp
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Pirate

Re: Piratebay still seems to be operating??

DNS censorship solved the problem of the pirate bay once and for all.

ONCE AND FOR ALL!

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HOT YOUNG STAR about to GIVE BIRTH, long range images show

Crisp
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Go

Finally! A star that looks good giving birth!

I'd rather watch this than Josie Cunningham any day.

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Why Comrade Cameron went all Russell Brand on the UK’s mobile networks

Crisp
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Vodaphone are still trashing my credit rating

Even though I finished my contract with them years ago. If they can't get simple addition right, then what chance to they have of providing a stable telephone signal?

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Doctor Who and the Dalek: 10-year-old tests BBC programming game

Crisp
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I'm a little disappointed that it doesn't come with an actual Dalek robot.

It probably wouldn't take me too long to build one though...

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Will.i.am gets CUFFED as he announces his new wristjob, the PULS

Crisp
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"I built something" he announced.

Did he?

I have a hard time believing that he actually built the thing.

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Trolls have DARK TETRAD of personality defects, say trickcyclists

Crisp
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Trolls like Trolling

Who knew?

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Crims zapped mobes, slabs we collared for evidence, wail cops

Crisp
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It gets better (or worse depending on your perspective)

There are hard drives that you can wipe remotely. And they will wipe themselves should they not be able to pick up a GSM signal after a certain length of time.

Putting one of these devices into a Faraday cage would actually cause the device to wipe itself.

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Tesla's Elon Musk shows the world his D ... and it's a MONSTER

Crisp
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Re: What? No KITT?

And the red light going back and forth. How could you forget that bit?

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Google AXES AndroidScript app used by 20,000 STEM coders WITHOUT WARNING

Crisp
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Technically, they aren't being evil...

Just anal.

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Apple KILLS SUPER MARIO. And Zelda. And Sonic

Crisp
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Fiddlers who weren't too fussed about the copyrights of Nintendo

If I already own the cartridge, then don't I already have a licence to play the game? If I want to play Pokémon LeafGreen on my phone, I'm not depriving anyone of their money if I've already bought the game.

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Big racks? Pah. Storage boffins have made a BIONIC BRAIN material

Crisp
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Re: I think you forgot the "S" after "METEOR".

I guess it depends on how big it is.

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Adobe spies on reading habits over unencrypted web because your 'privacy is important'

Crisp
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I bought the book. It's mine.

And if there's one thing that I hate more than anything else when I'm reading, it's someone reading over my shoulder Adobe!

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Siri ... why is this semi headed RIGHT AT ME? Phone apps distracting as ever – new study

Crisp
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Re: Voice recognition in fighters?

There's a big problem trying to get them to open the bomb bay doors.

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Revealed: Malware that forces weak ATMs to spit out 'ALL THE CASH'

Crisp
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Re: Cyberdyne Systems

Easy money.

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Twitter sues US government for right to disclose NOTHING

Crisp
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"Court orders received - even if that number is zero."

It follows that if Twitter is suing the US government, then the number of court orders they have received is not zero.

Even if they can't disclose the exact number of court orders, could they disclose a ball-park figure? Something like "In 2013, Twitter received somewhere between 15,345.5 and 15,346.5 court orders."

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Windows 10's 'built-in keylogger'? Ha ha, says Microsoft – no, it just monitors your typing

Crisp
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If they are seriously expecting me to read the entire license agreement

Then I reserve the right to charge them for my time at the usual hourly rate. Why the hell should I have to read through 400 pages of legaleese just to use my own hardware?

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Music-mad Brits drive up hardware sales too – claims BPI

Crisp
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"Copyright exception allowing them to make a private copy of a music CD"

I thought we already had that? Why on earth would there be legislation making backups illegal?

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Apple, Google mobe encryption good news... for TERRORISTS – EU top cop

Crisp
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Irreversible encryption

I can't imagine a more useless type of encryption.

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IRONY ALERT: Former MI6 chief warns of 'mass snooping' - by PAEDOS

Crisp
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I'd like Sir John Scarlett to name one case where that's happened.

I'm not saying that he's making it up, but fantastic claims like his need some sort of corroborating evidence.

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Universal Credit CRISIS: Howard Shiplee SHIPS OUT of top job

Crisp
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Where do I apply?

I can't really do a worse job can I?

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WHY did Sunday Mirror stoop to slurping selfies for smut sting?

Crisp
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Alert

Re: Do they not read the news?

It also causes immigrants to come into the country to claim benefits and steal your job!

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Cut-off North Sea island: Oh crap, ferry's been and gone. Need milk. SUMMON THE DRONE

Crisp
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Boffin

A system of tubes

If those tubes are pneumatic, then I'm all for it!

(Conceivably, if the tubes were large enough, you could use them to transport people, Futurama style...)

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BT claims almost-gigabit connections over COPPER WIRE

Crisp
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Coat

Re: no idea why anyone needs gigabit internet connectivity at home...

It's for downloading large amounts of "research material".

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FBI boss: Apple's iPhone, iPad encryption puts people 'ABOVE THE LAW'

Crisp
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Even if James Comey got everything he ever wanted ..

And Google, Apple, et al stopped implementing encryption completely. What's to stop me from running my own encryption program?

If he were to make encryption illegal, only criminals would have any privacy.

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Hackers thrash Bash Shellshock bug: World races to cover hole

Crisp
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Windows

I'm safe. I use a Microsoft Windows system.

I dread to think how many down votes I'm going to get...

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Man's future in space ... Barack Obama: Mars. Narendra Modi: Mars. Vladimir Putin: Er, Moon

Crisp
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8. He3 mining.

There's loads of it up there on the moon.

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Feds: Cheeky scammers are impersonating us in criminal capers

Crisp
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Maybe if they put an FBI Warning in front of every email...

It worked with piracy didn't it?

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Emma Watson urges UN to back feminism – trolls threaten to leak her 'nude selfies'

Crisp
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Why can't we all just get along?

See title.

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Home Depot ignored staff warnings of security fail laundry list

Crisp
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Re: Get a proofreader.

It's still a level of journalism above a Daily Mail article. Have you seen some of the stuff they publish? It's tough to find an article there that doesn't have spelling and grammar mistakes.

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TOR users become FBI's No.1 hacking target after legal power grab

Crisp
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Re: And here we go again...

Well you've obviously got something to hide, or you wouldn't be encrypting it!

Encryption just by itself seems to be regarded as suspicious by law enforcement bodies now, with absolutely no justification for that suspicion. The UK government fears encryption so much that they passed a law making it legal to compel a suspect to give up encryption keys.

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Crisp
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Re: Sauce for the goose?

That was also my interpretation of the proposed "law".

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Does this float your boat? Dead Steve Jobs to hijack yachts from BEYOND THE GRAVE

Crisp
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They've invented a radio controlled boat.

How innovative! No one has ever done that before. How do they keep coming up with these fresh ideas?

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Jihadi terrorists DIDN'T encrypt their comms 'cos of Snowden leaks

Crisp
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GCHQ Lied?

Why do they keep lying when they are so easily caught out?

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Wanna keep your data for 1,000 YEARS? No? Hard luck, HDS wants you to anyway

Crisp
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The discs last 1000 years

But how long do the reader writer machines last for?

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WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups

Crisp
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What's 3nders game?

And how much will this app cost? If it's anything like other dating websites, women will be allowed to join for free while the guys have to stump up money.

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Got your NUDE SELFIES in the cloud? Two-factor auth's your best bet for securing them

Crisp
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£25 to £60 for a key?

Blizzard sold me a key for £5. What are these other companies making their keys out of?

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