* Posts by ItsNotMe

717 posts • joined 11 Jan 2012

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Feeling sweary? Don't tell Google Docs

ItsNotMe
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Coat

And on the left side of the pond...

...in the great state of Pennsylvania...one can start out in Blue Ball...drive for about 15 minutes...enter Intercourse...then end your journey in Smoketown 7 minutes later...feeling very satisfied.

However...to reach the three towns in Pennsylvania named Climax...one must be willing to put several hours into the effort. They are not easy to reach from Intercourse...but when is it ever...at least for her?

Mine's the one with the NSFW map book in the pocket.

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Motorola monsters Apple's swipe-to-unlock patent in German court

ItsNotMe
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Devil

Re: Great...

Won't someone think of the poor Lawyers (yea...yea...I know that's an Oxymoron)? They need work also.

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Can't get a woop, woop! Twitter gives politicians nice Gaffe-Delete button

ItsNotMe
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Mushroom

This really only matters...

...if one gives a Rat's Arse about anything posted on Twitter...by anyone.

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'Web brothel' CEO, staff cuffed on prostitution rap – clue: the website is called Rentboy.com

ItsNotMe
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Facepalm

Re: 18 years to file charges?

Well it's not like they waited two decades to file the charges. Come on now...give them a break. They just wanted to make sure it was a thorough investigation...right?

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Fiery old geysers FOUND ON MOON: Volcanic past explained

ItsNotMe
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FAIL

"...is the height of stoopidity."

No...actually @Your alien overlord - fear me...the REAL height of stupidity is not being able to spell words correctly.

Looks like you are at the head of the class.

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Yet another Android app security bug: This time 'everything is affected'

ItsNotMe
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Happy

Well...

...how about a 5hitload of flaws?

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Vaio returns from the dead wearing sharper suit, bolts in neck

ItsNotMe
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Facepalm

Re: Sony screwed it all up .....

@djstardust "I had Vaio laptops for many years and they were all excellent."

Really? Let me tell you a little story about Sony & Vaio computers.

I had a friend many years ago who was a personal assistant to Howard Stringer for a very long time. Long before he was Sir Howard Stringer, and going back to his days with CBS. Every time Stringer moved around the corporate world, she was taken with him. Well except when he had to move to Japan. That's when she tendered her resignation.

When he first went to work at Sony, I got a telephone call one day from my friend asking me if I could recommend a laptop computer for her. I said to her "But you work for Sony, and Sony makes laptop computers. Why not get one of theirs? I'm sure Howard could get you a fairly good discount." :-)

Her reply to me was "No one who works here at Sony uses Sony computers. They are lousy computers, and the Tech Support is non-existent." I almost fell off my chair I was laughing so hard. Told her that my recommendation was an IBM ThinkPad...she bought one...and was very happy.

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Apple: Samsung ripped off our phone patent! USPTO: What patent?

ItsNotMe
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"that drawing looks like a tobacco tin..."

Or maybe a Sardine Can?

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Costa Rican authorities detain drug-smuggling pigeon

ItsNotMe
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Pint

"A black pigeon?"

Yes...it's the latest in Stealth Technology for birds. Remember the Lockheed SR-71?

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Apple drives itself round bend: PITIES THE FOOL who inks deal with carmakers – source

ItsNotMe
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Devil

And when YOU get into an accident with one...because of a software or design fault...

...you will simply be told by Apple's legal department...You were driving it wrong.

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Imation's CEO races to exit door, grabs $4.8m golden goodbye

ItsNotMe
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Facepalm

Don't bet on it.

"Getting nearly $5 million in contractually-obliged pay in such circumstances of company impoverishment suggests the contract Ts&Cs were written by feckless individuals on the board. The same mistake is unlikely for the newbie that Imation is currently seeking."

It is one giant Merry-Go-Round in business. Especially here in the Good Old USofA.

Fuckup one business as CEO...get shown the door with millions in hand...get hired somewhere else..."rinse and repeat"...over and over again.

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Peak Google? Chocolate Factory cuts costs amid dwindling growth

ItsNotMe
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Alert

"Well, they don't seem to have been doing too badly..."

Maybe...but giving away the store will catch up with them sooner than later, if they keep doing it.

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Police investigate strange case of doughnut-licking pop singer Ariana Grande

ItsNotMe
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IT Angle

So el Reg is now taking the place of the National Enquirer...

...or The Sun?

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Identity protection outfit LifeLock picked, popped

ItsNotMe
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Unhappy

Re: "picked, popped"

Shirley you mean "cracked"?

@jake...I thought I told you to NEVER call me Shirley!!

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Virgin Galactic will get into space 'within 18 months to two years'

ItsNotMe
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FAIL

And we should give a Rat's Arse about this why?

So big deal...people with more money than they know what to do with can pay $250k for a joy ride into "space". Well it's not space as @Betacam correctly points out.

It's simply some disgustingly expensive carnival attraction.

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Average enterprise 'using 71 services vulnerable to LogJam'

ItsNotMe
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"What do you mean our firewall has foundations made of cheese?"

It would be OK if it were a nice firm Farmhouse Cheddar...but even a sturdy Emmentaler could possibly be poked full of holes.

Oh wait...Emmentaler already is full of holes. So much for that theory.

Mine's the one with the tin of Water Biscuits in the pocket.

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Why does Uber keep its drivers' pay so low? Ex-CFO: 'Cos we can'

ItsNotMe
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FAIL

Just ONE MORE scumbag running a company.

What a wonderful world we live in...and there isn't a snowball's chance in Hell I would ever use Uber for a whole host of reasons. Starting off with being sexually assaulted by one of its low paid drivers.

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Use your Apple gizmos only for good, says Tim Cook

ItsNotMe
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FAIL

Wow...

...talking about sucking up to your audience!

Sorry Timmy...completely happy with my Android phone, thank you very much.

Oh...and Timmy...I just purchased one of your 64GB 5th Gen iPod Touch devices last week, and I want to tell you that compared to my 4th gen Touch...and my 3rd gen Touch...and my two 2nd gen Nanos...this is a REALLY annoying device.

When I sync just a handful of my albums from my MacBook Pro onto it, because I don't want them all on this device, and if I am connected to Wi-Fi...and open up my "Music" on it...your crappy device tries to download ALL of my Library from your iTunes Music Store.

And yes Timmy...the MacBook is running the latest version of OS X Yosemite, and the iPod is up to iOS 8.3.

This is really pissing me off Timmy.

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Microsoft's Surface 3 is sweet – but I wouldn't tickle my nads with it

ItsNotMe
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FAIL

What I find amusing...

...is the number of people who carry around their FondleSlabs and use them as cameras. In Mathew Brady's day, every camera was a large and cumbersome thing to tote around. Not so today.

And I wonder how many of these muppets have a perfectly good cell phone stuffed in their pocket that would take just as good of an image. Chances are they all do.

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Nissan CEO: Get ready, our auto-wagons will be ready by 2020

ItsNotMe
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"With Gas Prices Less of a Worry, Buyers Pass Hybrid Cars By"

From today's Wheels section of The New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com

"Affordable gasoline is making hybrid car owners rethink their loyalty.

With bargain gasoline prices putting more money in the pockets of Americans, owners of hybrids and electric vehicles are defecting to sport utility vehicles and other conventional models powered only by gasoline, according to Edmunds.com, an auto research firm.

There are limits, it appears, to how far consumers will go to own a car that became a rolling statement of environmental concern. In 2012, with gas prices soaring, an owner could expect a hybrid to pay back its higher upfront costs in as little as five years. Now, that oft-calculated payback period can extend to 10 years or more.

And I would venture to say that their collective attitude towards these ridiculous driver-less vehicles is probably the same. Don't want to drive a car? Then how about calling a TAXI.

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It's the end of life as we know it for Windows Server 2003

ItsNotMe
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Happy

"Can you survive without support?"

Of course I can.

Still running two Win Server 2000 boxes as well. No exposure to the Internet, and only used for AD authentication. My organization simply doesn't have the resources to purchase new servers, and the four running Server 2003 are not pointed at the Internet either.

We can survive very nicely, thank you...and have been for a long time.

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Oracle proposes to deliver Java 9 SDK on September 22nd, 2016

ItsNotMe
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Unhappy

DAMN!

I'll be out of town then, and won't be back until Sunday the 25th. And I so did not want to miss this.

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HP wag has last laugh at US prez wannabe with carlyfiorina.org snatch

ItsNotMe
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FAIL

Re: You, that website's author, and everyone else have missed the point entirely

"I think having a president who will, unflinchingly, lay off 30,000 government employees would be fucking awesome."

Unless YOU were one of those 30,000 people who got canned.

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Accused Aussie game hacker flees to Europe ahead of trial

ItsNotMe
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Devil

Heading for the Ecuadorian Embassy in London by any chance?

They may have space available.

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Pacific nation accidentally does good thing in web crackdown

ItsNotMe
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Facepalm

And as we all know...

...before Farcebook...there was absolutely no way at all to communicate over the Internet.

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Got a Samsung Galaxy S5? Crooks can steal your fingerprint – claim

ItsNotMe
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FAIL

Not really an issue on my S5

Being that the fingerprint reader on my S5 rarely works anymore, even if some crim were able to scam my fingerprint, they most likely wouldn't have any better luck unlocking the phone than I have had.

In fact, it is so bad now that I don't even use it any more. Now use a long PIN.

After having it fail to read the registered fingerprint, one has to wait 30 seconds before trying it again. Only to have it fail again and resorting to the backup PIN or password you have to include when registering a fingerprint.

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Apple Watch: Exactly how many vids does it take to teach a fanboi to tell the time?

ItsNotMe
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Devil

Re: the only quote he could offer was "where's my bloody watch?"

You'll have to forgive him for looking at it wrong.

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Got a big day planned in 15 BEELLLION years? You need this clock

ItsNotMe
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Finally!!

Now I can get my hard boiled eggs cooked perfectly!

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Republicans in sneaky bid to reauthorize Patriot Act spying until 2020

ItsNotMe
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Devil

"Senate Intelligence Committee"

The quintessential oxymoron if I ever saw one.

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Segway bought by former patent spat adversary Ninebot

ItsNotMe
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Unhappy

Re: Found favour

...with mall security and police who are too lazy and fat to walk as far as I can see.

And maybe too much favor with one Jimi Heselden. Poor bastard.

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National Grid's new designer pylon is 'too white and boring' – Pylon Appreciation Society

ItsNotMe
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WTF?

Re: Nice website

The fact that there even exists a Pylon Appreciation Society shows that some people really need to rethink their lives.

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Fancy a wristjob from Tim Cook? TOUGH LUCK, you CAN'T HAVE ONE

ItsNotMe
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FAIL

Re: @AndyS: Extrapolation

Ahhh fruityboy Jay...if you are referring to his use of maths...well it would be Vous who is in error...as that is "propper Englsh" on the right side of the Pond.

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Snowden dump details Canadian spies running false flag ops online

ItsNotMe
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Facepalm

"Canada isn't a sub-set of America, its the control group for the great American experiment."

But just which "great American experiment"? North, Central, or South American?

The Americas do stretch nearly from Pole to Pole you know.

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Amazon fires rocket up FAA for dithering on drone approval

ItsNotMe
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Mushroom

Re: Amazon can go pound salt

I agree 100%.

Amazon "threatened" the US government to take their drones to another country for testing.

So big fu(&ing deal...fine...go...right now. And this potential "loss" to the US government is what exactly?

As I live in an area with far too many trees for them to be able to fly their drones, I'm not worried, but if I lived somewhere where they could use them, and they wanted to send one to my home, I would find another company to do business with. Even if it meant spending more money.

There is no good reason for these to be used. Just about as asinine as "self-driving" cars.

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Wind turbine blown away by control system vulnerability

ItsNotMe
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Happy

"XZERES has issued a manual patch for the vulnerability."

Yes...it's an elderly Spanish Lord on the back of a rundown, and equally elderly equine, carrying a slightly misshapen lance.

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Becoming Steve Jobs biography: ‘Much of it was chutzpah and self delusion’

ItsNotMe
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Re: Flawed - like all of us

"Gates was a prick, but he's done a great deal of good with his ill-gotten gains."

Whereas Boy Wonder did just the opposite.

"Moreover, Jobs had closed Apple’s philanthropic programs when he returned to the company in 1997 and never reinstated them despite $14 billion in profit last year, the Times reported."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/record-thin-on-steve-jobss-philanthropy/2011/10/06/gIQA3YKKRL_story.html

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FTC: All-powerful Google ABUSED rivals. So we did NOTHING

ItsNotMe
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Pint

Re: You should be concerned, very concerned...

Ever heard of BOHICA...Bend Over Here It Comes Again?

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ItsNotMe
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Re: Rules

So true...and there is plenty of cash around to buy the politician of your choice...be they Republican...Democrat...or Independent. They are all for sale.

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ItsNotMe
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Facepalm

I am SHOCKED that nothing was done by the FTC!

Jun 4, 2009

"Growing White House ties to Google draw protest"

http://www.computerworld.com/article/2524926/government-it/growing-white-house-ties-to-google-draw-protest.html

Sep 04, 2014

"White House Appoints Google X Exec As Chief Technology Officer"

http://readwrite.com/2014/09/04/white-house-appoints-google-x-exec-as-chief-technology-officer#!

Oct 16, 2014

"White House nominates former Google exec Lee to head patent office"

http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/10/16/us-usa-patents-lee-idUSKCN0I52RL20141016

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Fanbois: We paid $2000 for full satisfaction but now we have SPREADING STAINS

ItsNotMe
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Devil

@Goldmember

He was cleaning it wrong!

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Tax fraud fugitive nabbed after posting selfies

ItsNotMe
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Pint

Re: Thank God....

"Darwin Awards are only for stupidity that removes a person from the gene pool permanently (usually, but not always, by death)."

And remember...there are no Lifeguards at the Gene Pool.

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Galileo! Galileo! Galileo good to go after six-week recovery effort

ItsNotMe
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Coat

Re: We need Galileo.

And what about Figaro?

Mine's the one with the Bohemian Rhapsody CD in the pocket.

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My self-driving cars may lead to human driver ban, says Tesla's Musk

ItsNotMe
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Re: Self-driving cars are "almost a solved problem"

And old Elon also has to remember that his "proclamation" is only valid if people actually buy his cars. Which from the looks of his most recent earnings reports...there aren't a whole lot doing so.

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$17,000 Apple Watch: Pointless bling, right? HA! You're WRONG

ItsNotMe
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"In 10 years time a Rolex will still work."

I have an Omega watch purchased in 1969 that works just as well as the day I purchased it.

Apple may not even be in business in 46 years.

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HAPPY 20th Birthday MICROSOFT BOB

ItsNotMe
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"Wasn't Melinda French involved in Microsoft Bob?"

Oh how right you are sir.

"Inside Microsoft, she is well-regarded, an energetic MBA who's handled several of the company's products, including its newest software release, Microsoft Bob."

http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/archive/?date=19950604&slug=2124492

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ItsNotMe
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Re: Memories of Microsoft Bob

Well...I happen to have a couple of copies of Bob in my archives. Both are Gateway Computers branded versions, and I have gotten it to run on top of Windows XP Pro.

Why you ask? Because I could. So Happy Birthday Bob!

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£280k Kickstarter camera trigger campaign crashes and burns

ItsNotMe
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Facepalm

Well kids...

...looks like it's just one more P.T. Barnum moment for Kick-in-the-arse.

Caveat Emptor I always say.

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Silent but violent: Foul Google Play flaw lets hackers emit smelly apps

ItsNotMe
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WTF?

Another case of the Pot calling the Kettle Black

"Google Threatens to Air Microsoft and Apple's Dirty Code"

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-02-11/google-riles-silicon-valley-by-exposing-others-security-flaws

Really Google? Well it sure is a good thing that you don't have any "dirty code" in any of your products.

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Hey look! Microsoft's workforce isn't all white men

ItsNotMe
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Devil

@LucreLout

"I'm really not sure how exclusively hiring black lesbians would improve Microsofts fortunes?"

Oh but it would...if they were married to Latino Bi-sexual or Trans-gender types.

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Ladies and trolls: Should we make cyberbullying a crime? – Ireland

ItsNotMe
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@boltar

How true.

Social Media a "must have"? Hardly. The true "sad reality" is the fact that so many people use these crap sites in the first place. They only serve to hasten the dumbing down of society. And, sadly, they are doing that very well.

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