* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1578 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Get lost, Windows 10 and Phone fans: No maps HERE on Microsoft's OS

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Just the dregs left now

Spotify is giving them the bird too.

Will the last to leave please turn out the lights?

Oops! Microsoft says its 'Bitcoin ban' was a bug, not a feature

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

A stopped clock is correct twice a day

I have to admit I thought microsoft were on the ball for a change with starting to refuse Bitcoin, with it being reported to be fatally broken. But no, as usual this sounds like news to them and it was down to the level of competence we've come to expect.

This reminds me of the only thing Gordon Brown got right being for the wrong reason - he held back the UK from the Euro solely because Tony Blair wanted it so much.

Microsoft stops accepting Bitcoin in Windows Store

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Spotify stops accepting Windows Mobile as a platform

An "App Store" with fewer apps and now fewer ways to buy them.

Spock: "Fascinating."

Hey Windows 10, weren't you supposed to help PC sales?

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: The Purpose of 10

The purpose of Windows 10 is to stuff ads down users throats at OS level.

Microsoft are always late to the party, and when they finally get there find it changed to fancy dress but no-one told them. This time they've seen how their entire business is headed toiletwards so think they can do a Google.

Staff 'fury' as penny pinching IBM offers legal minimum redundo payoffs

Bob Vistakin
Unhappy

The smarts saw this coming years ago

That's why they got out then for the best package. Now IBM is doing the same as HPE and just clearing out the deadwood - for an appropriate "deal", natch.

Microsoft's done a terrible job with its Windows 10 nagware

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Weasely words for weasely actions.

Because Microsoft sort-of started out OK a long time ago but ended up like this?

Steve Ballmer: Get the Facts. I 'love' SQL Server on Linux

Bob Vistakin
Mushroom

Here's something Blamer would surely approve of

Turns out the downgrade from Windows 7 to Windows 10 is now physically being forced on users.

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Bill Gates now thinks Ballmer is an asshole

Read whats really being said here.

“Personality change leads to market perception change,” he said. He acknowledged that he and his predecessor, Bill Gates, are no longer close.

Microsoft shares lost more than 40 percent of their value in the time between Ballmer’s appointment and the announcement in 2013 that he would resign.Since Nadella took over in February 2014, shares have risen more than 50 percent.

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

See, here's the deal with todays Microsoft

There's a glaringly obvious pattern everyone seems to be ignoring. Back in their day, people *had* to use Microsoft for pretty much everything, so choosing them, no matter how much it stuck in their throats, was a no brainer. They exploited their position and killed all rivals because, well they could, and could get away with it too, right down to writing off fines from the competition authorities as operating costs.

Today though people do have a choice, and whoopie doo, if it don't turn out that every time they have, they say no to Microsoft. Mobile? No thanks, we're ok with your competitors. Browsers? Well, we could use the one you bundle and is instantly available, but we'd genuinely prefer all the trouble of installing another. Cloud? Servers? Same deal. It can't be just a co-incidence. Could it be the decision makers of today remember being shat on yesterday, and it's time to say hello to Lady Karma?

The new Android has split screens, and we're seeing more and more desktop spins. I'd give it a couple more releases - about the time ChromeOS does the full merge - before it's launched as a full-on desktop Windows competitor. It already has 85% mobile share, so it's not exactly starting from scratch. Of course, being always based on Linux means a headless server spin must be a doddle for the Google smarts, as are the incremental refinements needed to Google Docs to prise the remaining Office users away.

No wonder we're seeing all these desperate turnarounds. They are trying to "regain" the hearts and mind of the users they never had in the first place. The writing's on the wall - potty mouth might be yesterdays man, but his new gang can't undo the carnage he's left them with, no matter how many chairs they scramble to put back in place.

Behold, Microsoft SQL Server on Linux – and a firm screw-you to Oracle

Bob Vistakin
Pint

A proper Microsoft vs Oracle scrap

This is genuinely confusing. Like, say a David Cameron vs Piers Morgan fight to the death where the only weapons are broken bottles. Clearly, you'd like them both to lose, but it to drag on as long and painfully as possible for both.

IBM to erase 14,000 people from the payroll – Wall St analyst

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: Stop me if I'm wrong

Cheerio.

Microsoft has crafted a switch OS on Debian Linux. Repeat, a switch OS on Debian Linux

Bob Vistakin
Unhappy

Re: For those that remember.....

I'd add another: Nokia.

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Linus Torvalds: 'If Microsoft ever does applications for Linux it means I've won.'

Patience, comrades - we're almost there.

Microsoft joins Eclipse Foundation. Odd thing for a competitor to do

Bob Vistakin

Yelp-for-people app Peeple is back – so we rated Julia, its cofounder

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Then again, this does sound like extortion, so perhaps the point is to get bought out by a bigger specialist in this area.

Microsoft wants to lock everyone into its store via universal Windows apps, says game kingpin

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: App stores suck

Sigh.

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: App stores suck

Well, at least you can always trust Microsoft.

To screw things up at every turn.

HP Enterprise Services readies deeper cuts in UK: Now 1,000 techies face axe

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Lytham: Are the people going, or the roles?

Once those 166 walk away does the work they were doing before not get done, or turn out to not have to have needed to be done in the first place, as is often par for the course when civil servants are involved?

Windows 10 Mobile bug fixes come thick and fast as official upgrade nears

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

You just couldn't make this up

Windows 10 mobile? Well, speaking of platforms we all thought had been put out of their misery, with a straight face I hereby announce the return of Windows RT.

Triple-murderer prisoner keeps mobile phone in his butt for a week

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: What's the number?

At least it answers Orlowskis recent question - "nope - another is being created in the usual way ready for production as we speak".

German mayor's browser tabs catch him with trousers down

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Didn't Watergate teach politicians anything?

It's never the crime that gets you, it's always the cover up.

Trade union threatens work-to-rule action over HPE Lancashire job cuts

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Re: "not covering for anyone else’s work"

It even covers answering the phone on another desk when they take a break.

Been there, seen it, got the T-Shirt. Guess where? BT during the "It's you we answer to" days.

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

That's shocking

"This includes an overtime ban, members only working for their contracted hours, taking full break entitlements and not covering for anyone else’s work."

This is serious - they'll do exactly as the civil servants there do right now.

Samsung S7 tease suggests phone likes it hot and wet

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Users waking up to Apple ripping them off?

That's nothing compared to the avalanche of top quality Chinese clones on the way. Just Google that, or check out the first random youtube video I hit.

Is this the last ever Lumia?

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Changing name into "Surface" won't make it any better.

This "corporate deal" defense speaks volumes. It's admitting no-one uses a windows phone because they *want* to, it's because they have to be forced to. Another stupid move guaranteed to lose their last users hearts and minds.

Bob Vistakin
Unhappy

Re: Changing name into "Surface" won't make it any better.

Microsoft has clearly abandoned mobile internally. We're just waiting for the formal announcement now. It's future lies in other vendors hardware using other vendors software platforms.

A colossal double fail, making their rape and murder of Nokia so much more poignant.

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Keep an eye out on eBay

There's a slight chance it has one redeeming feature.

Microsoft axes ‘dozens’ more from former Nokia phone biz

Bob Vistakin
Mushroom

Re: Windows 10 WORKS

Keep the faith, bro.

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Makes things easier for mobile dev shops though, now they know for sure there's no point in developing for windows phone. Tough on those who ignored microsofts history of shitting on them at every turn, but wtf - if they haven't seen their true colours by now they never will.

Bob Vistakin

Microsoft quits giving us the silent treatment on Windows 10 updates

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Microsoft... shooting itself in the foot for four decades

There's more chance of a statue of Kelvin MacEnzine being erected outside the Kop than microsoft winning back anyones trust. It knows its lost its users so has to rely on corporate jobsworths to keep going. The future is mobile and cloud, and microsoft is irrelevant to both. Infesting other platforms might seem a way forwards, but a flick of the platforms owners switch snuffs that out any time they feel like it.

Canonical reckons Android phone-makers will switch to Ubuntu

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: a bit harsh on the other fruity one

This any help?

Health Secretary promises NHS £4.2bn to go 'digital'

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: Bob Time!

Aye ;-)

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Boondoggle

You can say that again.

Mall owner lays blame at Apple's door for dragging down sales

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

You're blaming it wrong

An Apple spokesperson from the tippity top of his ivory tower condescended the following statement: "These retailers are as stupid as the users."

How many Surface power cords are a fire risk? 2.25 million in the US alone

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Merely the next Burning Platform

Microsoft call this a "migration", now phase 1 is complete.

Hewlett Packard Enterprise axing services techies again

Bob Vistakin
Headmaster

s/The DWP sites around Blackpool/civil service

FYFY

Fretful Amazon wishes it could get more Android action

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Will they make the apps work better to entice users?

Amazon also want to get into washing machines, dishwashers etc - right from manufacture. That way, when hooked up to the web they can detect when you're low on powder and automatically order it for you. To be delivered by fucking drone. What could possibly be wrong with this marvellous vision of the future?

Research: Microsoft the fastest growing maker of tablet OSs ... by 2019

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: first tablet?

Sounds great!

Bone-dry British tech SMBs miss out on UK.gov cash shower

Bob Vistakin
Big Brother

Hey steady on now, the London Tories making all these decisions do recognize the true value of the North.

Att: Windows Phone owners: Win 10 Mobile has been spotted and it wants your phone

Bob Vistakin

Re: Yawn, another El Reg piece dissing MSFT

There's a video explaining how it's done.

What the world needs now is Pi, sweet $5 Raspberry Pi Zero

Bob Vistakin
Pint

512M Ram

Hello Android, media players, Android TV etc.

Doctor Who: Nigel Farage-alike bogey beast terrorises in darkly comic Sleep No More

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Doctor Who and the dustmen

Had a nice ring to it. Well, my old man thought so anyway.

Doctor Who's good/bad duality, war futility tale in The Zygon Inversion fails to fizz

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: Best line...

Nahhh! Best line of the series was in this episode:

"I'm old enough to be your messiah!"

CPS fined £200k over theft of laptops holding 'sensitive interviews'

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Government fines government

Exactly.

There's no difference here between them writing a £200k cheque and a £0 one.

Windows 10 growth stalls during October

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

8 was worse than Vista, but is 10 worse than 8 for a different reason?

Two words: Forced "updates".

Next year's Windows 10 auto-upgrade is MSFT's worst idea since Vista

Bob Vistakin
Unhappy

Fuck, do I hate Apple

But I need a new laptop, so I've no choice now but get my first Apple product ever - a "macbook".

SatNad failure as Lumia income drops over 50% at Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: It's a shame... I Guess

It's time to piss all over another microsoft burning platform, except this one didn't take much to extinguish at all.

Sales down, profit up, 1,000 bods chopped: Your one-minute guide to Planet Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

"I hear Google is hiring."

Unfortunately no one from Microsoft need apply.

Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Bob Vistakin

They laughed when they thought Microsoft were late to the wearables party - lets see 'em laughing with this where the sun don't shine.