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* Posts by Bob Vistakin

906 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

New blow for Microsoft Surface: Touch Chromebooks 'on sale in 2013'

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: "Blow"?

Lets face it - if it was announced the Babbage Analytical Engine was to be relaunched it would be a blow to Surface.

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Google stokes hype machine over Project Glass robospecs

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Google glass is innovative. Really, genuinely innovative.

No effing wonder the best Microsoft can do is just look on green with envy, whilst sniping childish jealous taunts. The last innovative thing to come from them was their CEO's comedy furniture rearrangement antics.

I can hear the photocopiers in Cupertino starting up, too.

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Clarkson: 'I WILL find and KILL the spammers who hacked me'

Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

I thought he just took out a superinjunction against those he disliked?

Then again, how would anyone know?

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Bill Gates: Windows Phone strategy was 'a mistake'

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Microsoft are in the mobile phone business?

Well I never. Next you'll be saying they have a search engine of their own, rather than merely chucking up some script kiddie style wrapper round Googles.

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iOS 6.x hack allows personal data export, free calls

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're securing it wrong

Apple has responded: "Just don't secure it that way.

You stupid little user."

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Inside Microsoft's Surface Pro: A fiendishly difficult journey

Bob Vistakin
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Coat

Fallapartgate still an issue?

They keyboard that is, not this particular vendor.

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Are you lonesome tonight, tech firms? Let our dating service fix you up

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Well, that's one way to spin what Microsoft did to Nokia

"And of course, Microsoft itself might think it best to pick up the pieces of its wounded partner"

Wounded having been raped sideways by, err, Microsoft to make it so.

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Apple releases fix for iPhone 4S iOS 6.1 connectivity cockup

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're updating it wrong

Users are so stupid. Why on earth can't they use Apple products properly?

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iOS 6.1 KNACKERED our mobile phone networks, claim Vodafone, Three

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: it won't even talk to the BBC on this issue.

Apple handsets are now legacy.

You'll see a lot more of this as they try to catch up with Android by attempting to copy, err, sorry, innovate its latest features into their quaint little old handsets - the ones which close users into their AOL-style walled garden as used in days long gone by.

Gosh how things change.

Skeuomorphic design is now about as fashionable as the Bay City Rollers. Market share is falling. The one-size-fits-all handset decision made at the start has come home to roost in spades - this approach so off target you can feel the embarrassing pain of the diehards trying to excuse them next to the S3s and N4s of this world.

And all the while you hear of Android demolishing them in handset sales, about to overtake them in tablets having just matched their share there, and manufacturers using it in fridges, washing machines, cars etc. This just highlights the wisdom of the closed vs open approach greedy Saint Jobs lumbered them with, snobbily turning up his nose at such crudities.

Still, they're currently still making a handsome profit from the remaining iSheep yet to realize what's being done to them, and that's all that matters. Whilst it lasts.

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Microsoft needs to keep visible under waves of Blue

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Subscription service?

Microsoft can see their irrelevance coming hard and fast. All their thrashing about with smartphones, tablets, back-firing OS releases etc won't change a thing. And the people doing this to them are the very ones they've shat on for the last 20 years, since every area now either snuffing them out directly, or rendering what they do have left irrelevant, is powered by Linux.

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LinkedIn proves not all social IPOs were bubbly

Bob Vistakin
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Go

Ditching the Twitter integration was a smart move

It's great they did this, but not so great it wasn't actually their choice. Who really needs to know what I think of the pop factor contestants in order to do business with me? Anyway, I reckon Linked In is the closest thing we'll get to a usable global people directory - ultimately the business "phone book" for the world. Obviously there only needs to be one, so it's no wonder it's doing so well and management want to tread carefully before ruining things the way Facebook did.

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British games company says it owns the idea of space marines

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Another bit that isn't original

Why not just look for anyone who made Games in a Workshop prior to the creation of these Apple wannabees and do them for infringement of their term?

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Windows Phone 8 hasn't slowed Microsoft's mobile freefall

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: The MAGIC rotting MOBILE CORPSE of Microsoft

Blackberry will grow by a few percent - that's obvious once the new models arrive in volume. Ordinarily, that wouldn't bother the other players but what's this? Microsoft only have few percent to start with, and as these charts constantly show that's heading South by the quarter. Android isn't going to stop growing. The only sizeable sector left to go for is increasingly dissatisfied iPhone users who don't jump to Android - and up to now, even this tiny minority has only had WP8 to look at.

Not any more :-)

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Unsurprising really..

Perhaps its time for another "burning platforms" speech - all Flop has to do is take his first one and cut n paste Symbian for WP8.

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3 Brits banged up for £300k VAT scam

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Two years ago the British Government gave Ireland $8bn, and I mean gave - there's now no requirement for it to be paid back.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: 3 out of 1000's

The Right Honorable Jacqui Smith - Britains first female Home Secretary - fiddled £100k and merely had to issue a pretend apology to her fellow MP's during the great corruption exposure a couple of years back. After agreeing to such a demanding act of contrition, they allowed her to keep the loot. She did lose her job though, more likely because of the embarrassment the porn she charged to the taxpayer caused than the real crime. Anyway, just shows the British justice system for what it is when you hear of others caught doing the same thing (3 people, £300k) - porridge for you lads, with no early kid gloves release of the kind Chris Huhne is about to get.

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Microsoft 'touches 16k shop workers' to flog Windows 8 hard

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Microsoft 'touches 16k shop workers' to polish their turd hard

Mythbusters show the way.

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Apple loses bid to 'cut in line' in Samsung patent dust-up

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

You're barging in wrong

For Christs sake Apple get with the plot - you're not top dog anymore and it really is time to Think Different, if you can. That means your pathetic lawsuit days are over - including trying to trademark how ever the fuck you lay out your stores.

By the way, hows that thermonuclear thing working out for you?

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We're not making this up: Apple trademarks the SHOP

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

"Thinking different" at its finest

Android demolished Apple in smartphone sales for 2012, and this is their response.

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RIM ends Reg headline pun filth (and launches two new phones)

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: I hope they make it

It won't affect Androids' market share a jot, but I think it'll take a hearty helping of Apples lunch and certainly keep Win8's anonymous entry in the "1% others" section of all the market share charts for the coming year.

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Apple loses 'Most Valuable Company' honor to ExxonMobil

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're polishing the turd wrong

The iSheep are starting to see what you've been doing to them all these years.

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Google pulls 'racist' Make Me Asian app

Bob Vistakin
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Joke

I take offense

At the one which shows you with your tongue lolling out the side of your mouth, your eyes spinning in different direction and dribble seeping down your chin, but fortunately there's not much call for the "make me a WP8 user" app - or is there?

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Microsoft to end Windows 8 discounts on January 31

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Drat

Just as I was about to convert too, having been persuaded by all that marketing spend.

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Nokia axes 300 IT bods, outsources 820 to Tata, HCL

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Nokia to align IT function with its business focus

For those living under a rock for the last 30 years, this is known as "The Microsoft Effect".

What follows is job losses, shit products, loss of market share and previously loyal customers suddenly hating you before inevitably you go bust and history records you forever as just another of Microsofts bitches. Mysteriously, however, the top brass who's palm was greased with silver over the original deal always seem to do very well out of it..

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Former CEO John Sculley: Apple must adapt or die

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

"Your ruining it wrong"

FTFY

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Another Apple retail chief crashes out the door

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

True, Apple has wobbled recently

But now Mr Bean is in charge all will be well again.

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Microsoft to give free TV ad to top-voted Windows Phone 8 app

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You can smell the desperation

Please, someone, anyone - write something for this turkey ... anything, even fart apps will do.

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Live blog: Facebook's 'screw you' to Google revealed at last

Bob Vistakin
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IT Angle

Yawn

Come to think of it, why is there no "yawn" icon?

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Titsup Windows Phone 8 orders user to cram 'boot disc' in mobe

Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

True innovation

Right there in the palm of your hand.

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Review: Google Nexus 4

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Twas the bettery life, or lack of.

One could always compare it with the Windows Phone 8 User Experience.

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Bad news: PC slump worse than feared. Good news: It's Friday

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Almost forgot - well, as did everyone else to be honest, Windows RT - that was quick, nice knowing you :-)

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Poor old Microsoft.

No one wants their phones.

No one wants their tablets.

No one wants their new OS.

Even burglars in their own HQ swerve their kit.

:-)

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'Not even Santa could save Microsoft's Windows 8'

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Cant stand microsoft, because...

WP8 has shockingly tiny sales figures - it's entirely possible a Ubuntu handset would outsell it. And wouldn't that be lovely - it might even get Nokias attention, since as soon as that looked remotely possible Blamer and his trojan Flop would have both been given the boot by then, and an alternative would be needed.

Actually ... hey now there's a funny thing ... why suddenly the announcement of all these alternative mobile OS's - Tizen/Ubuntu/FirefoxOS etc? It's almost as if these are waiting for someone big to announce a major change in direction...

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

2013: Microsofts' year of hell

And so it begins.

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Microsoft burgled, only the APPLE iPADS stolen - cops confirm

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: "Microsoft did not respond to a request for comment".

Look at these two ugly bastards:

http://bgr.com/2013/01/07/nokia-ceo-elop-interview-android-284778/

Between them is a pair of loser CEOs.

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Sky watchers prep for early 2013 asteroid fly-bys

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Sinofsky's new blogski: Windows 8 king reborn as management guru

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: "without adequate explanation"

I wonder if he was behind this:

Microsoft says somebody stole its Apple iPads

"Microsoft's campus in Mountain View is presumably loaded with Microsoft's latest and greatest products, but a thief decided to steal five Apple iPads from the company's offices instead"

One can imagine the burglar skillfully swerving the mountains of unsold surface tablets, WP8 handsets and heaps of returned Windows 8 DVD's looking for decent kit, and finding all the Android gear was at home, since that's what the staff use personally, was then forced to take just what they could resell.

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US military nails 'best ever' Microsoft deal, brags size does matter

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Business Insider: Another Bad Windows 8 Report

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

"Hi! I'm Clippy! It looks like you want to launch some nukes".

"I noticed you pushed the big red button. Your system now needs rebooting, so these changes can come into effect."

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Samsung confirms Tizen-based mobes to debut this year

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

s/Bada/Tizen

And in 2014 s/Tizen/Ubuntu etc, not bothering the serious mobile players a jot. It will, however. cause all these novelties to be lumped along with microsoft in the "others" section of every market share report for the next few years - the sub 5% aggregate generally considered floor noise.

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Brit boffins build projectile-vomiting robot to kill norovirus

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

"Vomiting Larry" huh? Just as Google gets off another monopolies rap

Someone has a twisted sense of humour.

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Apple loses round to Amazon in 'App Store' name dispute

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Drip drip drip till the dam bursts

Apple peaked in the middle of last year. We're now in a free-for-all as everyone at last sees the emperor has no clothes, and are beginning to stick it to them for realizing how they've actually been cheated all these years.

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Open-source attack dog enters Ballmer's inner ring

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Ballmer called Linux a “cancer”

This need repeating.

Ballmer called Linux a “cancer”

Microsoft apologists really, really want that to be somehow erased from everyone's memory, and never appear in the same sentence as Windows 8 whilst they are running a multi million pound advertising campaign for it.

Ooops.

See what I did there ?

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Hey, Apple and Google: Stop trying to wolf the whole mobile pie

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

And in a year or two, you'll be seeing iOS supporting multiple users, NFC, wireless charging etc the way Android does today.

We'll also witness the familiar drama of these features going from "not being needed by anyone" whilst not present on the iSheeps favorite toy, to "fantastic innovations" when they do finally appear right up to "Exhibit A, m'lud" as Apple starts trying to wipe out those it copied from, err whoops that should be "takes legal action to protect its innovations".

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Tripe...

The markets think so to:

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/official-apple-just-niche-player-155409478.html

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iPhone 'Do Not Disturb' bug to self-destruct on Monday

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

So who resigned this time?

Is there some "head of scheduling management" top boss who refused to sign a letter of apology?

Will there be a 1 line "sorry" sentence in the British newspapers in 1pt scribble, surrounded by 96pt "Apple are great and can take this piss out of the British legal system all they want ner ner-ne-ner ner" text?

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It's JUST possible, but Apple MIGHT not make an iWatch in 2013

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Maybe

"They should concentrate on putting a retina screen in the mini ipad"

I dunno, watching your movies the minecraft way has a certain kind of retro appeal - all those mario style blocky pixels and gaudy colors certainly do it for the die hard fanbois. Perfection is, after all, anything with an apple logo on it.

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Feeling poor? WHO took all your money? NOT capitalist bastards?

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: This is news?????

There's one for certain claiming that last one was just another a Balls up, but have no fear - we will remember. Could it be the same person admiring another mans fake buttocks whilst wearing a Nazi outfit in this photo? I think there is a worrying pattern here regarding this loathsome individual and his attitude to our fallen. Still, at least he knew how to spend our money when he had the one and only chance he'll ever get.

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2012 in tech: Apple up the Cook without a paddle, ARM, slab wars... and MORE

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Microsoft Win 8 - Failware

Here's a helpful Windows surface video for anyone unaware of what all the fuss is about, and the perils that befall those who cross Blamer: Surface presentation epic fail

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Microsoft Win 8 - Failware

Here's a helpful Win 8 video for anyone unaware of what all the fuss is about: Windows 8: The Animated Evaluation

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