Re: iPhone 5!!!!!

Wise words indeed, thanks!

Re: a whole hour?

Thank fook you weren't using azure on a leap year.

Re: @Bob

Bill Gates to the rescue! His current endeavours are particularly relevant: "At the Reinvent the Toilet fair, hosted at its Seattle campus this week, designs included a lavatory that used microwave energy to turn poo into electricity." Since that's exactly what Nokia is now turning out under Flop, he's already halfway there:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-19271061

And a market share the size of Blamers todger on a cold day.

Re: Cockup upon cockup.

"microsoft arnt the only ones that cocked up with certificates"

You forgot "twice": http://www.wired.com/wiredenterprise/2012/03/azure-leap-year-bug

Re: Hmmm..

You jest, but 'tis truly fortunate that the same number shifted in a quarter as Android does by 10.00am every morning is irrelevant enough not to cause any noticable problems.

Wheras Apple have just turned into a bunch of Android wannabes!

Re: Efficient killing machines....

People think because they run away from dogs they are inferior. Not true - they are smaller, know they will lose because of that, so do the self-preservation thing. Get a cat and dog of the same size and try it. Smarter, equipped with better weapons and faster. Doberman vs panther, rottweiler vs tiger - that type of thing. Which is the fastest animal on 4 legs? Who is the king of the jungle? Here kitty kitty ...

Yes everyone - pay up your $5 Android extortion tax and laugh whilst you're doing it, else you're just a bunch of moaning minnies.

Re: I've got it!!

Right on bro.

Re: In response to...

I'd go for "Stillborn".

However, I thought Gartner got it right last week with "bad" - or have wacko's lawyers been sniffing around too?

"or try to move into a niche where Microsoft has no interest or advantage. Like linux."

Or mobile.

Re: I've learnt my lesson.

Speaking of Ford, look what happened when they teamed with the beast - their consumer satisfaction ranking went from a fifth to 23rd, all blamed on the MyFord Touch: http://www.dailytech.com/MyFord+Touch+Drop+Kicks+Ford+from+5th+to+23rd+in+JD+Power+IQS+Rankings/article21994.htm

Even Wikipedia struggles to find anything good to say: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MyFord_Touch

Re: Wow.

We all saw what a spectacular fail Vista was, to the point no one at microsoft would even say the word out loud. By Christmas, that'll be the same for Metro too - but a hundred times worse.

Re: failboat

And anyway, those figures will be doubled in the market - this guy shows how everyone needs two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1zxDa3t0fg

Re: Well here is an important milestone...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pToyPkrju1o

"Being able to pin various parts of an App to the home screen is very handy."

Android users in 2007 thought so, too.

"can't really give a good reason why"

It's made by bastards who extort $5 per handset from the good guys. That about to change too?

Re: Is anyone

Here's Steve Jobs explaining how "Good artists copy, great artists steal": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CW0DUg63lqU - he proudly announces he has "shamelessly stolen great ideas".

Clearly this too would be banned by this judge in America as it too, whilst being of direct relevance to the case, helps Samsung.

The Samsung guy was right to ask "why bother with a trial", but should have added "in the US".

Re: Windows Phone.

In the centre of a darkened room slumps a figure tied to a chair. A TV set in front of him burst into life, and a grotesque white faced puppet with swirls on each cheek appears, accompanied by a deep voice.

"Mr Elop. So far you have played the corporates to your advantage and racked up huge stock options, not caring for anyone's fortune but your own. Your success has been massive - but only when measured in financial terms. Your soul has become horribly corrupted with the filth of your journey to the top of this greasy pole. I now offer you a path to salvation. Before you lies the bruised shell of a once-proud and mighty mobile phone empire. It can be salvaged, should you choose to do so. Or, you could follow the path of evil and attempt to destroy it totally, hoping your masters will reward you in the future for this wanton act of destruction. When this recording ends, you will find yourself on a burning platform which will destroy you completely in 60 seconds. Salvation or destruction - make your choice."

The chains holding the figure to the chair fall away, and the floor around him ignites in a burst of flame...

Re: Always worth a look

The only real mileage is if you can flash Android to them and have an eBay account 6 months after they launch.

Re: Always worth a look

@Spearchucker Jones 15:09

Good to see the Microsoft shills out in force. Always entertaining :-)

Re: The IOC can piss right off

FTFY: Why not put the mountains of unsold WP7 phones to good use by giving one to everyone who attends? That way, the text/data usage will drop to zero for the duration of the games as everyone will be too embarrassed to be seen using metro.

Just whip out the spare

No-one will notice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1zxDa3t0fg

Re: Nokia will have a chance in me only if they make it with Android.

So would I - I'd buy a Nokia Android handset in a shot, and no doubt enthusiastically praise it to anyone I could. Whereas in reality, the NoWin partnership is what created me.

Re: capability

I'm just as helpful too - you can also contact me any time on bob.vistakin@microsoft.com.

Re: Stand Aside...

Unfortunately I think it's too late now even for Android to save them. Microsoft raped them, then poisoned the wells so thoroughly that even if they were booted out, there's no way to turn round by recruiting the staff back, spending a fortune reviving their market image etc, before the cash runs out. This mysterious plan must be a firesale before bankruptcy.

Re: How the hell does Ballmer keep his job?

Give the guy a break. He's dong fine in my book - let's hope he stays there for years.

Re: Ye gods.

It's the hypocrisy which stinks the worst - this is almost at Prescott levels. You can absolutely guarantee there will be no problem when Apple bring out a large, flat, black, rectangular device for watching moving pictures on with sound, powered by a remote, which looks and feels identical to the ones Samsung and a zillion others have been selling for the past 10 years.

Re: At a guess...

So long as the spares handy for those, ahem, embarrassing moments when you try IE.

Re: Compare and contrast

I've just ordered a Nexus 7.

Re: "Volume matters to a certain extent, but ultimately it's all about profit."

And still no-one has realised the burning platform memo was written in Redmond.

Re: Global Control AIR&id Development for CyberSpace BaseD Land Grabs

WTF did I just read?

Is this message from an Android of the future, sent back in time to warn humanity of the evils of SkyNet?

Re: the killing blow to Nokia

@Phoenix50 Your aim when shooting messengers is excellent - well done. Bit of friendly advice though mate - you're gonna need a lot more ammo now.

Re: the killing blow to Nokia

I think I'll create another 10 fake reg accounts so I can upvote you with all of them.

Re: there can only be one black, rectangular fondle-phone in the world...

You'll have to be clearer than that. Are you referring to the Beatles record label, or the one which came along much later and innovated their name?

Re: Lets hope Apples lawyers rip in as viciously as they did to Android

Heres the FAIL video microsoft tried to censor - catch it quick before they stop showing the same level of competence attempting that as the guy failing so badly in it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTrWPqS4Kxk