* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1578 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Why has Microsoft stopped being beastly to Google?

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Because they are dying and know it.

Next.

Shares down?! But, but, but ... Apple just made $50bn – that's the way the Cookie grumbles

Bob Vistakin
Paris Hilton

You're selling it wrong

Zero innovation, flops like their overpriced pointless watch, a toxic hellstew of malware hitting them on all sides and of course the iSheep seeing the quality of these half price new Android devices.

Android is on 82% market share with Apple having the lions share of the dregs. The next interesting figures will be these during the same period.

We really did hit peak Apple a few years back when they ran out of things to copy, or as they put it "thinking different".

Paris, for she also hit her pinnacle a while ago but is experiencing more and more flops as time goes by.

A perfect marriage: YOU and Ubuntu 16.04

Bob Vistakin
Linux

[FIXED] Re: I upgraded a VM from 15.10 to 16.04 over the weekend

I'd better correct this, for the record.

I'd always used the excellent X2GO as a remote desktop client into these machines.Turns out its just that client that's at fault. I actually upgraded a spare laptop to prove this and locally the new Ubuntu is excellent, it only loses all the user settings when I remote in this way under XFCE, and even that situation will be fixed soon as the devs of this 3rd party client are onto it.

Bob Vistakin
Linux

I upgraded a VM from 15.10 to 16.04 over the weekend

It trashed by XFCE desktop settings - no apps in launcher, none of the custom icons I'd set up, not even the wallpaper I'd used. The same command line "do-release-upgrade" from 15.04 to 15.10 on the same machine worked fine last time round. That's why I do this in VM's - I'd suggest waiting for the dust to settle a while, or do it on something not critical.

Microsoft, Google bury hatchet – surprisingly, not in each other

Bob Vistakin

Microsoft's Azure and Office 365 growth slows

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Azure stinks.

Correct.

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Office 365 stinks.

Correct.

Stalled cloud growth, software flatlining, hated Lumias unsold... It's all fine, says Microsoft CEO

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: PHB speak or Orwell

There's as much chance of microsoft going bankrupt as there is of David Cameron asking Jimmy Carr if he fancies a quick one down the Pigs Head.

Unfortunately, the industry will be paying for the decades of brainwashing its customers suffered for some time yet. They are waking up, and know now there are better alternatives, but inertia is one hell of a powerful force.

Microsoft headhunters seek Linux folk for secret open source unit

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Me too

Sums up microsofts Linux policy.

Prof squints at Google's mobile monopoly defence, shakes head

Bob Vistakin
Headmaster

The Fire Phone flopped in the famously fair but fickle marketplace

You don't fucking say.

Official: EU goes after Google, alleges it uses Android to kill competition

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Ironic

When microsoft was hit with this but for browsers, it complied by offering users a choice of alternatives at installation time, one being Googles Chrome, which became the market leader. Now it's the same thing but mobile search on Android, so if Google can find any credible search alternatives it might well do the same.

Googling "torsorophy" might help narrow down the quality of these, and of! course! we! need! to! see! if! the! Daily! Mail! will! follow! through! with! their! threat!

Saw-inspired horror slowly deletes your PC's files as you scramble to pay the ransom

Bob Vistakin
Mushroom

Without the in-your-face dramatics

Microsoft are nevertheless doing something very similar - the end goal being to hold you to ransom. As time passes, they turn up the aggression.

Obama to admit Moon landing was faked?

Bob Vistakin
Headmaster

The bet on aliens landing

Can't find the reference so this might be an urban myth ;-)

The story was someone placed a bet on the US gov officially recognising aliens from space landing on US soil before the end of the last century, and it was paid out. When the Russian cosmonauts teamed up in orbit with the space shuttle or whatever, they flew back down with the Americans and when they landed turned out they had no passports, so the official term for them was indeed "aliens". It's all in the wording, folks.

What's wrong with the Daily Mail Group buying Yahoo?

Bob Vistakin
Alien

Re: Yahoo

Curious - that's me too, and it's been like that for years. Anyone else?

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Hmm, the daily mail buying Yahoo.

So you'll now get to see columns of what the wannabe celebs are wearing on a beach next to your search results?

Spock: Fascinating.

Ad slinger Phorm ceases trading

Bob Vistakin
Pint

They spied, got caught and now can Phuck off.

Zuck: You're still using non-Facebook websites ... I'll put an end to that

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Sick of this charade

Facebooks role is to collect all the shite of the internet together in one handy place for thinking people to avoid. I too have no account, and no matter how hard I try can't come up with anything I'm missing. There does seem to be a big attraction to many people though, just as The Sun is the UK's best selling newspaper. Just sayin' ...

Windows 10 debuts Blue QR Code of Death – and why malware will love it

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Penguin

@cambsuguy One word: torsorophy. Try searching for it, using a search engine.

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Re: Penguin

"Why not just use the Linux method, and just don't crash ever?"

Even better - build one of those tiny linux distros right in there, boot to it and then offer the "report this/get more info" functions from a fixed menu, which of course could still be blue and have any graphics you wanted. Some motherboards already do something very similar.

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: What will make this work

Ahh ... I see where this is going. All those billions of blue screens need an Android device, you say? Will the app be paid for, or just show ads?

IBM's tops sales staff face long haul...to Hawaii

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Re: I "won" - but I sure as hell am not going

Lepoards and spots.

Microsoft rethinks the Windows application platform one more time

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

"We are putting a lot of trust in the developer”

"Not to write any more viruses", said some Ballmer-level strategy genius.

Windows 10 with Ubuntu now in public preview

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Which way round are the slashes?

Industry standard or Microsoft?

Huawei's P9 flagship: There's a lot to Leica

Bob Vistakin
Trollface

Re: Still copying Apple...

Those windows, seen in your screenshot, reminded me very much of what Xerox were doing in the 1970's.

Truly crap exhibition dumped on Isle of Wight

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Microsoft launching a new OS is always entertaining

Its hapless users cant wait to get their hands dirty with this one.

Windows 7's grip on the enterprise desktop is loosening

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Microsoft are keeping quiet

There's a huge difference with Windows 10 which people don't realise - the EULA says you *have* to take all future updates, none of this defer indefinitely or GWX control panel malarkey. Word is, it's the last regular windows release so this is the way it has to be.

The few "upgraders" doing it now don't realise that not only is it the first hit or so that's free, but they're literally signing away their ability to get out in future.

French mobe repair shop chaps trash customer's phone

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: Doh

My all time favourite facepalm, especially when you know what he heard to cause it.

Bob Vistakin
Mushroom

You beat me to it.

Life for those two trying to get another job will be fun, but not as much as that dept once all the previously unhappy customers see that vid...

Bob Vistakin
Childcatcher

Re: Can you hear me Forrest?

"Life is like a French mobile phone repair shop."

Carving up the IT contract behind £500bn of annual tax collection is a very risky move

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

"Lack of skills has been named as one of the biggest blockers to the government realising its "digital transformation" ambitions."

And there's even fucking less of them around now the, err, government has just kicked loads out.

You just couldn't make this up.

Microsoft lures top Linux exec from Oracle to Redmond

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Couldn't have put it better myself, and I've often tried.

Holding out for a Jobs: Tim Cook still auditioning for position of Apple god

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Why no mention of their greatest inventions?

Where would the human race be without rounded corners, turning pages and the sliding locks of the kind used in the pyramids?

Unpatched stealthy iOS MDM hack spells ruin for Apple tech enterprises

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Clearly, the users are stupid and have to be told

You're accepting it wrong

Gartner: RIP double-digit smartphone growth. 2016 has killed you

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: Who are these morons ?

Spot on.

The way I read that article is that there is massive trouble for Apple ahead.

Not only is everyone skint, they already have a smartphone so aren't stupid. They can see the kind of quality the Android handsets costing half anything Apple has, and the Chinese are pretty much here already with that.

Apples emperors new clothes scam is finally coming to an end.

Apple's fruitless rootless security broken by code that fits in a tweet

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Hey Tim Cook

Hows that toxic hellstew thing working out for you?

Zombie SCO rises from the grave again

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Who profits from Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt about Linux?

Follow the money from those who can't compete on quality, so extort instead to answer that one.

Is iOS 9.3 Apple's worst ever update? First it bricks iThings, now Safari is busted

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Worst update? Click bait

Think different.

We wrap our claws around latest pre-Build Windows 10 preview

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: C'mon son!

I see the new $22,000 microsoft surface is here - does it run internet explorer?

Mud sticks: Microsoft, Windows 10 and reputational damage

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Don't blame users for the UI

Needs more of this. Much more.

iPad bricked by iOS 9.3? Don't worry, we'll get through this together

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Pay more, get less - that's thinking different all right.

You're updating it wrong, iSuckers.

Top! tip! for! Yahoo! – 'Fire! your! board! of! directors!'

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

And here's that reply in full

After careful consideration...

Microsoft introduces yet another Skype for Windows 10

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: With all the random changes of direction at Redmond-

Does it run Hitler-loving sex-mad AI's?

Apple Macs, iPhones, iPads, Watches, TVs can be hijacked by evil Wi-Fi, PDFs – update now

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: What a toxic hellstew

I don't think Android fans are under any illusions regarding that. The point is Apple's constant message of all being perfect in the Villa Straylight, so when it turns out to be no different the fact they've crowed about it so much brings them down to earth much harder.

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

What a toxic hellstew

Still, you get what you pay lots more for. Oh, wait...

Microsoft to add a touch of Chrome to Edge

Bob Vistakin
Thumb Up

Sounds useful

Especially if it runs stuff like this, so even the most incompetent browser manufacturers get their long standing bugs fixed at last.

Microsoft's equality and diversity: Skimpy schoolgirls dancing for nerds at an Xbox party

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: Head of marketing is unaware of who on his team booked them?

Bring back Blamer - he always knew who's fault screwups were.

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Sigh

Tut tut tut.

Stop! Before you accept that Windows 10 Mobile upgrade, read this

Bob Vistakin
Unhappy

So many post mortems

So little time.

Look out, Windows Phone 8 users – yes, both of you – here's ... Windows 10 Mobile

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Can people opt-out?

No, they can get lost

Remix OS: China's take on an Android operating system – but for PCs

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Re: Finally!

Will we be getting an equivalent SadNad moment?