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* Posts by Bob Vistakin

627 posts • joined Saturday 24th December 2011 20:17 GMT

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Good luck with WP8 phones if Win 8 tanks

Customer: "What's the advantage of a WP8 phone?"

Sales:"It's the same desktop as the new Windows 8".

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Apple has peaked

And still no-one is listening. Yes, they make the most money from those who prefer style over substance. Yes, it made them the most valuable co in the world. But all these duds just go to show there's only 1 place to go from there, and the proof is in the cracks starting to appear in the sales figures.

iPhone4 sales flag: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444025204577547361858270658.html

iPhone5 sales miss estimates: http://www.itweb.co.za/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=58774:iPhone-5-sales-miss-estimates&catid=69

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Sounds great!

Where do I sign up?

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Eh! WTF

http://goo.gl/oy7Gr

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: iTards can all get lost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkDz4wMI9J8

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

iTards can all get lost

Oh, wait...

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Apple has peaked.

The rot set in last year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZfQwR9aF6E

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

And long may this piss taking continue

The arrogance Apple has shown in the past, along with the ruthless exploitation of the market sector for smartphones of those with the lowest IQ's is breathtaking. The thickest amongst them still won't mind being ridiculed each time they pull out an iPhone, but I get the idea that at last the penny is dropping and many more are beginning to realise just how much they've been had. The recent announcement that the initial iPhone5 sales were nothing like as good as Apple predicted just reinforces this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDnFNUqf3hg

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

"a nice logo."

And a whole mountain of arrogance, paid for by a brainwashed army demanding the one with the WiFis and bigger GeeBees, so they think they are technically savvy, too. Nothings changed since this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL7yD-0pqZg

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Never mind the iPhone vs Android wars, Apple tries to start actual wars!

France just invaded Switzerland!

http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/32069176047/the-french-are-invading-switzerland-sudden

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Tim Cook

I think he's doing a great job and should keep doing it forever, as I do with Blamer who's excreting phones of a similar level of quality.

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

But it's prettier

See that cute page curl in the bottom right corner? You got your reason iSheep feel superior to Googles maps right there.

Apple are just reinforcing their style over substance mantra. Christ, if the fanbois didn't mind not being able to make calls during antennagate and were happy to take the blame, this is a walk in the park. If you can find it....

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

The iPhone5 can just get lost

Siri, where can I combine a drive to work with a thrilling rollercoaster ride? http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/31971812088/crooked-highways-near-the-philadelphia-museum-of

Siri, can you recommend a good mapping application to teach kids geography? http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/31970259679/berlin-antarctica

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

So, that's 'em all ending up in Grimsby then

iPhone5? It's the iPhone4S with a few tweaks and comedy mapping.

Bob Vistakin
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Go

Re: Not all bad

@HMB When you "used Google navigation in Leeds" was is as good as this? http://goo.gl/amB1g

Bob Vistakin
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Joke

Re: You don't understand!

http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: The launch video reminded me of the crowd faking tears at Kim jungs death

"Winston, how many fingers do I have up?"

http://www.george-orwell.org/1984/18.html

And it all started so well ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R706isyDrqI

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Road colours are wrong too

They didn't include NFC because "it wasn't ready for prime time" but let it ship with this shit? Steve Jobs was a hypocritical thief, but at least he had standards - he'd either have stuck with Google until ready or pulled it all completely. He'd never have let this ship.

I'd say give it a month for the first batch to get out, then watch the real reviews as the backlash begins and the iSheep realise they've been screwed again and have to wait another full year till they get to even last years Android levels of functionality.

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: very poot

You're using it wrong.

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

The launch video reminded me of the crowd faking tears at Kim jungs death

Android has had turn by turn navigation for years. It's had 3D maps for well over a year. Yet when this was announced with iOS6 the crowd of iSheep all ooohed and ahhhed like it was up there with rounded corners.

Just look again at the video - it takes brainwashing to a whole new level. Every one in the audience is for some reason pretending they are totally unaware of there being literally nothing new here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mrl14SrhaUM

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Well, I know someone who'll buy at least 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1zxDa3t0fg

If only his company had spent more of the $5 per Android handset they extort on this they might have moved the needle a smidgen.

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Some things never change

That is all

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Sigh

That is all.

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: More caution...

Caution is not required - if the iPhone5 sells out, just give 'em the iPhone4S: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdIWKytq_q4

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: what no JB!

Reverse psychology?

"Look competitors using our OS - we said we'd not give Moto special treatment, and this proves it".

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Mmmm.

Disappointing, does less than the rest and costs more to buy and run.

But the Wifis and bigger GeeBees mentality is the same: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL7yD-0pqZg

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

"Windows 8 isn't ideal for many big businesses and government users."

Bacon butties aren't the ideal snack to sell outside a Mosque.

Erecting a statue of Kelvin McKenzie at Pier Head isn't the best idea to propose to Liverpool council.

Suggesting a DNA test will quash the rumours once and for all around Harry Hewitt isn't the best way to get an OBE.

Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

Re: There really is no NFC?

"This could almost make microsofts offering look good."

Steady on, now.

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Google buys Microsoft

"You've posted that before and been corrected before, so at this point it is actual dishonesty to continue claiming that."

Yet the site has been up since Feb 1, 2011. Are you as vociferous in pointing out to Google this travesty, or are you restricted to merely shooting messengers? I have posted it before, and will do so again, because despite your hilarious squirming trying to excuse your masters being caught red handed, anyone even getting to the second sentence has all they need to know: "However you define copying, the bottom line is, these Bing results came directly from Google."

Jesus, and as if that's not enough we've now got to think about avs when we post let the self appointed fucking icon police get the hump.

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Both of them?

Who'll do the chair chucking when it makes Vista look like the pinnacle of marketing excellence by comparison?

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Google buys Microsoft

Well, they already use the same search engine:

http://googleblog.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/microsofts-bing-uses-google-search.html

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: So, it has come to this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chewbacca_defense

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Re: 2 please

And I'm holding out for the service pack where clippy comes back.

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

So, it has come to this

At least with the old black models you could cover up or scrape off the embarrassing windows logo when you flashed them with Android. Now if you whipped out that butt ugly yellow joke in a pub, everyone immediately thinks your a few butties short of a picnic no matter what OS its running. You won't even be able to shift these on eBay.

Witness everyone - this is what you let Nokia get wrecked for.

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Nokia need to put out Android phones

Android now does 1.3M per day, so in those terms your 16M/year is just over 12 days - aka a week and a half.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-1035_3-57506722-94/android-activations-hit-1.3m-per-day-says-googles-schmidt/

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Maybe.

And remember, you need two as this guy demonstrates: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1zxDa3t0fg

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

They might be crap, but at least they're marketing it properly

http://www.theverge.com/2012/9/5/3294545/nokias-pureview-ads-are-fraudulent

Oh, wait...

Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

Baffling

Why not Jelly Bean from the start? Did they need, err, Google's permission or something?

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

You're holding it wrong

And in the wrong place too

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Are you serious?

So this has the latest Snapdragon S4 quad core CPU in and the most advanced mobile OS microsoft can come up with, and the best it can do is reduce the unusable 7 second delay when switching between tasks to a 3 second one? That's slower than the first gen Android G1.

"What Intel giveth, microsoft taketh away" needs updating.

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Way to go.....

Kin was ok though.

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

So WP7 is the new Kin?

Totally incompatible and not long for this world, yet 5 minutes ago at launch the best thing since sliced bread? Just how many times are the few remaining mugs that don't know about this pattern are there left for it to repeat?

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: He's taking his time...

Hey careful, apparently "not everything is about Microsoft" so leave their handset sales figures out of it please.

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

"Nokia’s smartphone sales may be in the toilet at the moment"

Well, that's where you end up pretending you're leaping from a burning platform.

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Hahahah. Dick.

However, when a nutjob corporation desperately playing catchup tries to extort $5 per Android handset, everyone bends over immediately.

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

For when they sell WP8

Excrement Everywhere.

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Could be expected.

Course they take Android seriously - the $5 per handset they extort is their only revenue from mobile.

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: MS shills

@AC 16:00 Jesus wept. Do you also wonder why phones use wireless technology? Communication. Between humans. And each other. Has to be standardised.

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: MS shills

@RyokuMas I sincerely thank you for making point in my first sentence for me.

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: MS shills

And most of the other handset makers they haven't killed they extort $5 per handset from - a fact not one of the obvious microsoft apologists round here ever, ever even mention, never mind try to justify.

The simple truth is the public have rejected microsoft phones, and will continue to do so, because unlike on the desktop they have a choice. Those in the business know how evil microsoft are, so won't touch their excrement because they genuinely want them to FOAD. And don't underestimate the generations of people in that position. Joe public doesn't care about that because he doesn't know about it - he's rejected them simply because they are shit. Carriers welcome microsoft, with their lovely skype revenue destroyer, like a muslim welcomes a bacon butty. Stores have zero incentive to flog them over any of the popular ones because "people want what other people have".

I weep for Nokia, but PMSL at microsofts continual failure ever since they jumped on the mobile bandwaggon 10 years too late.

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