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* Posts by Bob Vistakin

875 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Samsung's new co-CEO: 'Windows isn't selling very well'

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: It's not that Windows is not selling well

Spot on. Everyone in the chain saw what they'd done to the PC business so went out of their way to stop it happening in mobile. It's clearly worked - the chickens have indeed all come home, and that's the way it's gonna stay, folks.

Nokia were dead anyway - the microsoft tie up was a postmortem spasm.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: More dire news for Microsoft

Correct, but before we hear the sound of tears and violins for microsoft remember these are the patent trolls extorting $5 per handset from the good guys, thus making them a return orders of magnitude greater than their own comedy efforts.

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Samsung's new Galaxy S 4: iPhone assassin or Android also-ran?

Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Cupertino, start your photocopiers

This is the second generation of tech they failed to innovate from Samsung. Guess the first generation such as NFC, wireless charging, proper screen sizes etc they are still innovating from the first S3 will be here any year now.

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First Samsung Galaxy S4 review leak: Stop FONDLING, start FINGERING

Bob Vistakin
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IT Angle

Re: 8 processor core? 8?

The point on Android? Mucho - it's a true multi tasking OS, unlike the half assed "tombstoning" comedy effort Apple brainwashed their iSheep into believing is just the same, and hence can't make use of that kind of horsepower no matter how much they innovate Samsung.

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New Apple TV may hint at Apple-Samsung divorce

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

But what shape are its corners?

I can't wait for Apple to innovate a large, black rectangular device for watching moving pictures with sound on. It's what the human race has been waiting for all these years, and when they do finally think different and bring such a stunningly original genius invention to market, it's only right and proper they go round suing everyone else who copied their idea over the last 20 years.

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Microsoft exec selling his Surface tablet

Bob Vistakin
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The buyer would be wise to check the serial number

Caveat emptor

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HTC slays Nokia's two-headed Android patent dragon in Germany

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

More to the point, which set of bastards are pushing Nokia this way?

Some evil losers are clearly pulling their strings - you can smell their desperation.

I just can't think who though. And since Nokia lost, this mysterious puppeteer can claim all ignorance, natch.

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Next Windows 8 version can ditch bits of Metro

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Making Windows 8 look like Windows 7 isn't a climbdown?

Wow - I thought Apple had monopolized the reality distortion field.

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iPhone 5S and lower-cost sibling coming this summer?

Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Still with the tincy-wincy liddle screen?

I find it quite amusing watching them squirm around in the corner they've painted themselves into with this. One the one hand (ho ho) there is the famous "one size fits all so why change?" approach, and on the other there's the "gosh, the world really does want a bigger form factor - look at Samsungs' sales" but they can't because their software is totally unprepared for fragmentation, unlike a certain well known competitors who has been dealing with it for so long it has perfected it.

And no, I don't mean just adding another row of icons to a homescreen and letterboxing all the existing apps when needed.

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Global smartphones sales set to outpace standard handsets in 2013

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Definition please

There's no formal definition, but if you had to go for one distinction I'd say heavy internet support, so that covers browsing, email, downloadable apps etc.

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Google revs Motorola innovation with Guy Kawasaki hire

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Rats, sinking ship, mountains of unsold iPhones...

Think different

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Tito's Mars mission to use HUMAN WASTE as radiation shield

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Nooooooooooooo way

"Forgetful" Ed Balls too, but hopefully not in his Nazi outfit or his claim they come in peace would have as much credibility as his election manifesto.

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Judge slashes Apple's pile o' cash Samsung judgment

Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

"Another slap in Cupertino's face"

And it's a face decent folk everywhere just never tire of slapping.

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Samsung Wallet slavishly copies inspired by Apple Passbook

Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

"Copy" legacy phones?

Apples quaint miniature toys have been frozen in time since 2007 - what kind of ass-backwards reasoning is this?

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Judge bins Apple's plea to slash $368m FaceTime patent damages

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

You're haggling it wrong

I can hear the laughter all the way from South Korea :-)

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Microsoft finally ships Internet Explorer 10 for Windows 7

Bob Vistakin
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IT Angle

Does it download Chrome any faster?

Surely that's the one and only time users get to see IE these days, after buying a system with Windows pre-installed or installing it themselves.

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Microsoft brings Azure back online

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Microsofts "customers" get Ballmered again

Having stuffed them on phones, tablets and their comedy new desktop OS, destroying their faith in their cloud offering is an essential step in the slow car crash suicide that is 2013: Microsofts year of hell.

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Success for Einhorn: Judge blocks vote on Apple's Proposal 2

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

You're hoarding it wrong

Quite proud of that one!

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Microsoft secure Azure Storage goes down WORLDWIDE

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

For crying out loud! How many times????

This is a whole different kind of incompetence for which a word has not yet been invented. Seriously - this is the same me-too comedy "Cloud" offering from Microsoft which fell over last time because it didn't know about leap years? So hows that "lessons learned" thing coming on then?

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New blow for Microsoft Surface: Touch Chromebooks 'on sale in 2013'

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: "Blow"?

Lets face it - if it was announced the Babbage Analytical Engine was to be relaunched it would be a blow to Surface.

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Google stokes hype machine over Project Glass robospecs

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Google glass is innovative. Really, genuinely innovative.

No effing wonder the best Microsoft can do is just look on green with envy, whilst sniping childish jealous taunts. The last innovative thing to come from them was their CEO's comedy furniture rearrangement antics.

I can hear the photocopiers in Cupertino starting up, too.

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Clarkson: 'I WILL find and KILL the spammers who hacked me'

Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

I thought he just took out a superinjunction against those he disliked?

Then again, how would anyone know?

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Bill Gates: Windows Phone strategy was 'a mistake'

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Microsoft are in the mobile phone business?

Well I never. Next you'll be saying they have a search engine of their own, rather than merely chucking up some script kiddie style wrapper round Googles.

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iOS 6.x hack allows personal data export, free calls

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're securing it wrong

Apple has responded: "Just don't secure it that way.

You stupid little user."

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Inside Microsoft's Surface Pro: A fiendishly difficult journey

Bob Vistakin
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Coat

Fallapartgate still an issue?

They keyboard that is, not this particular vendor.

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Are you lonesome tonight, tech firms? Let our dating service fix you up

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Well, that's one way to spin what Microsoft did to Nokia

"And of course, Microsoft itself might think it best to pick up the pieces of its wounded partner"

Wounded having been raped sideways by, err, Microsoft to make it so.

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Apple releases fix for iPhone 4S iOS 6.1 connectivity cockup

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're updating it wrong

Users are so stupid. Why on earth can't they use Apple products properly?

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iOS 6.1 KNACKERED our mobile phone networks, claim Vodafone, Three

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: it won't even talk to the BBC on this issue.

Apple handsets are now legacy.

You'll see a lot more of this as they try to catch up with Android by attempting to copy, err, sorry, innovate its latest features into their quaint little old handsets - the ones which close users into their AOL-style walled garden as used in days long gone by.

Gosh how things change.

Skeuomorphic design is now about as fashionable as the Bay City Rollers. Market share is falling. The one-size-fits-all handset decision made at the start has come home to roost in spades - this approach so off target you can feel the embarrassing pain of the diehards trying to excuse them next to the S3s and N4s of this world.

And all the while you hear of Android demolishing them in handset sales, about to overtake them in tablets having just matched their share there, and manufacturers using it in fridges, washing machines, cars etc. This just highlights the wisdom of the closed vs open approach greedy Saint Jobs lumbered them with, snobbily turning up his nose at such crudities.

Still, they're currently still making a handsome profit from the remaining iSheep yet to realize what's being done to them, and that's all that matters. Whilst it lasts.

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Microsoft needs to keep visible under waves of Blue

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Subscription service?

Microsoft can see their irrelevance coming hard and fast. All their thrashing about with smartphones, tablets, back-firing OS releases etc won't change a thing. And the people doing this to them are the very ones they've shat on for the last 20 years, since every area now either snuffing them out directly, or rendering what they do have left irrelevant, is powered by Linux.

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LinkedIn proves not all social IPOs were bubbly

Bob Vistakin
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Go

Ditching the Twitter integration was a smart move

It's great they did this, but not so great it wasn't actually their choice. Who really needs to know what I think of the pop factor contestants in order to do business with me? Anyway, I reckon Linked In is the closest thing we'll get to a usable global people directory - ultimately the business "phone book" for the world. Obviously there only needs to be one, so it's no wonder it's doing so well and management want to tread carefully before ruining things the way Facebook did.

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British games company says it owns the idea of space marines

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Another bit that isn't original

Why not just look for anyone who made Games in a Workshop prior to the creation of these Apple wannabees and do them for infringement of their term?

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Windows Phone 8 hasn't slowed Microsoft's mobile freefall

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: The MAGIC rotting MOBILE CORPSE of Microsoft

Blackberry will grow by a few percent - that's obvious once the new models arrive in volume. Ordinarily, that wouldn't bother the other players but what's this? Microsoft only have few percent to start with, and as these charts constantly show that's heading South by the quarter. Android isn't going to stop growing. The only sizeable sector left to go for is increasingly dissatisfied iPhone users who don't jump to Android - and up to now, even this tiny minority has only had WP8 to look at.

Not any more :-)

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Unsurprising really..

Perhaps its time for another "burning platforms" speech - all Flop has to do is take his first one and cut n paste Symbian for WP8.

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3 Brits banged up for £300k VAT scam

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Two years ago the British Government gave Ireland $8bn, and I mean gave - there's now no requirement for it to be paid back.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: 3 out of 1000's

The Right Honorable Jacqui Smith - Britains first female Home Secretary - fiddled £100k and merely had to issue a pretend apology to her fellow MP's during the great corruption exposure a couple of years back. After agreeing to such a demanding act of contrition, they allowed her to keep the loot. She did lose her job though, more likely because of the embarrassment the porn she charged to the taxpayer caused than the real crime. Anyway, just shows the British justice system for what it is when you hear of others caught doing the same thing (3 people, £300k) - porridge for you lads, with no early kid gloves release of the kind Chris Huhne is about to get.

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Microsoft 'touches 16k shop workers' to flog Windows 8 hard

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Microsoft 'touches 16k shop workers' to polish their turd hard

Mythbusters show the way.

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Apple loses bid to 'cut in line' in Samsung patent dust-up

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

You're barging in wrong

For Christs sake Apple get with the plot - you're not top dog anymore and it really is time to Think Different, if you can. That means your pathetic lawsuit days are over - including trying to trademark how ever the fuck you lay out your stores.

By the way, hows that thermonuclear thing working out for you?

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We're not making this up: Apple trademarks the SHOP

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

"Thinking different" at its finest

Android demolished Apple in smartphone sales for 2012, and this is their response.

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RIM ends Reg headline pun filth (and launches two new phones)

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: I hope they make it

It won't affect Androids' market share a jot, but I think it'll take a hearty helping of Apples lunch and certainly keep Win8's anonymous entry in the "1% others" section of all the market share charts for the coming year.

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Apple loses 'Most Valuable Company' honor to ExxonMobil

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're polishing the turd wrong

The iSheep are starting to see what you've been doing to them all these years.

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Google pulls 'racist' Make Me Asian app

Bob Vistakin
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Joke

I take offense

At the one which shows you with your tongue lolling out the side of your mouth, your eyes spinning in different direction and dribble seeping down your chin, but fortunately there's not much call for the "make me a WP8 user" app - or is there?

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Microsoft to end Windows 8 discounts on January 31

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Drat

Just as I was about to convert too, having been persuaded by all that marketing spend.

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Nokia axes 300 IT bods, outsources 820 to Tata, HCL

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Nokia to align IT function with its business focus

For those living under a rock for the last 30 years, this is known as "The Microsoft Effect".

What follows is job losses, shit products, loss of market share and previously loyal customers suddenly hating you before inevitably you go bust and history records you forever as just another of Microsofts bitches. Mysteriously, however, the top brass who's palm was greased with silver over the original deal always seem to do very well out of it..

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Former CEO John Sculley: Apple must adapt or die

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

"Your ruining it wrong"

FTFY

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Another Apple retail chief crashes out the door

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

True, Apple has wobbled recently

But now Mr Bean is in charge all will be well again.

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Microsoft to give free TV ad to top-voted Windows Phone 8 app

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You can smell the desperation

Please, someone, anyone - write something for this turkey ... anything, even fart apps will do.

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Live blog: Facebook's 'screw you' to Google revealed at last

Bob Vistakin
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IT Angle

Yawn

Come to think of it, why is there no "yawn" icon?

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Titsup Windows Phone 8 orders user to cram 'boot disc' in mobe

Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

True innovation

Right there in the palm of your hand.

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Review: Google Nexus 4

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Twas the bettery life, or lack of.

One could always compare it with the Windows Phone 8 User Experience.

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Bad news: PC slump worse than feared. Good news: It's Friday

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

Almost forgot - well, as did everyone else to be honest, Windows RT - that was quick, nice knowing you :-)

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