833 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011
Wait a minute ... this Microsoft disease - does it affect all senior management in ways too filthy for mere mortals to comprehend? I mean, here we are reading about how Bill Gates is into condoms now, whereas the last we heard he was into toilets. Is Windows 8 the logical product of this unhealthy obsession?
Why all this fuss?
It's not on an iPhone so clearly no one has a use for it.
Re: Half Baked Attempt
That's a great idea. You could use NFC so that all you need is to tap the token on the back on your phone and you're done.
Third step - they sue everyone else using it.
Let's not forget the mantra - if it's not being done by Apple, you don't need it. When they finally catch up and launch their copy, with some pointless miniscule distinguishing feature their sheep can cream themselves over (round corners etc), the whole magically now somehow becomes their invention, so they'll see everyone else in a court they bought in Texas.
The rare fourth step is when they try this in a country unswayed by their crap, and end up having to apologize in their press. Then apologize again for apologizing wrong :-)
Their quaint little legacy phones continue to excite and amaze.
It's the superior Apple user experience, stupid. Nanny says so.
Re: You're securing it wrong
By the way - you're trying really hard to make people forget how arrogant Apple are, wrong.
You're securing it wrong
Well, you were until this update. Now at last you've finally got it right, you stupid little user.
Re: what's that noise?
The Samsung guy makes a very astute observation here.
I wonder - do you think he knows which religion the new Pope subscribes to?
Re: It's not that Windows is not selling well
Spot on. Everyone in the chain saw what they'd done to the PC business so went out of their way to stop it happening in mobile. It's clearly worked - the chickens have indeed all come home, and that's the way it's gonna stay, folks.
Nokia were dead anyway - the microsoft tie up was a postmortem spasm.
Re: More dire news for Microsoft
Correct, but before we hear the sound of tears and violins for microsoft remember these are the patent trolls extorting $5 per handset from the good guys, thus making them a return orders of magnitude greater than their own comedy efforts.
Cupertino, start your photocopiers
This is the second generation of tech they failed to innovate from Samsung. Guess the first generation such as NFC, wireless charging, proper screen sizes etc they are still innovating from the first S3 will be here any year now.
Re: 8 processor core? 8?
The point on Android? Mucho - it's a true multi tasking OS, unlike the half assed "tombstoning" comedy effort Apple brainwashed their iSheep into believing is just the same, and hence can't make use of that kind of horsepower no matter how much they innovate Samsung.
But what shape are its corners?
I can't wait for Apple to innovate a large, black rectangular device for watching moving pictures with sound on. It's what the human race has been waiting for all these years, and when they do finally think different and bring such a stunningly original genius invention to market, it's only right and proper they go round suing everyone else who copied their idea over the last 20 years.
More to the point, which set of bastards are pushing Nokia this way?
Some evil losers are clearly pulling their strings - you can smell their desperation.
I just can't think who though. And since Nokia lost, this mysterious puppeteer can claim all ignorance, natch.
Making Windows 8 look like Windows 7 isn't a climbdown?
Wow - I thought Apple had monopolized the reality distortion field.
Still with the tincy-wincy liddle screen?
I find it quite amusing watching them squirm around in the corner they've painted themselves into with this. One the one hand (ho ho) there is the famous "one size fits all so why change?" approach, and on the other there's the "gosh, the world really does want a bigger form factor - look at Samsungs' sales" but they can't because their software is totally unprepared for fragmentation, unlike a certain well known competitors who has been dealing with it for so long it has perfected it.
And no, I don't mean just adding another row of icons to a homescreen and letterboxing all the existing apps when needed.
Re: Definition please
There's no formal definition, but if you had to go for one distinction I'd say heavy internet support, so that covers browsing, email, downloadable apps etc.
"Another slap in Cupertino's face"
And it's a face decent folk everywhere just never tire of slapping.
"Copy" legacy phones?
Apples quaint miniature toys have been frozen in time since 2007 - what kind of ass-backwards reasoning is this?
You're haggling it wrong
I can hear the laughter all the way from South Korea :-)
Does it download Chrome any faster?
Surely that's the one and only time users get to see IE these days, after buying a system with Windows pre-installed or installing it themselves.
Microsofts "customers" get Ballmered again
Having stuffed them on phones, tablets and their comedy new desktop OS, destroying their faith in their cloud offering is an essential step in the slow car crash suicide that is 2013: Microsofts year of hell.
You're hoarding it wrong
Quite proud of that one!
For crying out loud! How many times????
This is a whole different kind of incompetence for which a word has not yet been invented. Seriously - this is the same me-too comedy "Cloud" offering from Microsoft which fell over last time because it didn't know about leap years? So hows that "lessons learned" thing coming on then?
Lets face it - if it was announced the Babbage Analytical Engine was to be relaunched it would be a blow to Surface.
Google glass is innovative. Really, genuinely innovative.
No effing wonder the best Microsoft can do is just look on green with envy, whilst sniping childish jealous taunts. The last innovative thing to come from them was their CEO's comedy furniture rearrangement antics.
I can hear the photocopiers in Cupertino starting up, too.
I thought he just took out a superinjunction against those he disliked?
Then again, how would anyone know?
You're securing it wrong
Apple has responded: "Just don't secure it that way.
You stupid little user."
Fallapartgate still an issue?
They keyboard that is, not this particular vendor.
Well, that's one way to spin what Microsoft did to Nokia
"And of course, Microsoft itself might think it best to pick up the pieces of its wounded partner"
Wounded having been raped sideways by, err, Microsoft to make it so.
You're updating it wrong
Users are so stupid. Why on earth can't they use Apple products properly?
Re: it won't even talk to the BBC on this issue.
Apple handsets are now legacy.
You'll see a lot more of this as they try to catch up with Android by attempting to copy, err, sorry, innovate its latest features into their quaint little old handsets - the ones which close users into their AOL-style walled garden as used in days long gone by.
Gosh how things change.
Skeuomorphic design is now about as fashionable as the Bay City Rollers. Market share is falling. The one-size-fits-all handset decision made at the start has come home to roost in spades - this approach so off target you can feel the embarrassing pain of the diehards trying to excuse them next to the S3s and N4s of this world.
And all the while you hear of Android demolishing them in handset sales, about to overtake them in tablets having just matched their share there, and manufacturers using it in fridges, washing machines, cars etc. This just highlights the wisdom of the closed vs open approach greedy Saint Jobs lumbered them with, snobbily turning up his nose at such crudities.
Still, they're currently still making a handsome profit from the remaining iSheep yet to realize what's being done to them, and that's all that matters. Whilst it lasts.
Re: Subscription service?
Microsoft can see their irrelevance coming hard and fast. All their thrashing about with smartphones, tablets, back-firing OS releases etc won't change a thing. And the people doing this to them are the very ones they've shat on for the last 20 years, since every area now either snuffing them out directly, or rendering what they do have left irrelevant, is powered by Linux.
Ditching the Twitter integration was a smart move
It's great they did this, but not so great it wasn't actually their choice. Who really needs to know what I think of the pop factor contestants in order to do business with me? Anyway, I reckon Linked In is the closest thing we'll get to a usable global people directory - ultimately the business "phone book" for the world. Obviously there only needs to be one, so it's no wonder it's doing so well and management want to tread carefully before ruining things the way Facebook did.
Re: Another bit that isn't original
Why not just look for anyone who made Games in a Workshop prior to the creation of these Apple wannabees and do them for infringement of their term?
Re: The MAGIC rotting MOBILE CORPSE of Microsoft
Blackberry will grow by a few percent - that's obvious once the new models arrive in volume. Ordinarily, that wouldn't bother the other players but what's this? Microsoft only have few percent to start with, and as these charts constantly show that's heading South by the quarter. Android isn't going to stop growing. The only sizeable sector left to go for is increasingly dissatisfied iPhone users who don't jump to Android - and up to now, even this tiny minority has only had WP8 to look at.
Not any more :-)
Re: Unsurprising really..
Perhaps its time for another "burning platforms" speech - all Flop has to do is take his first one and cut n paste Symbian for WP8.
Two years ago the British Government gave Ireland $8bn, and I mean gave - there's now no requirement for it to be paid back.
Re: 3 out of 1000's
The Right Honorable Jacqui Smith - Britains first female Home Secretary - fiddled £100k and merely had to issue a pretend apology to her fellow MP's during the great corruption exposure a couple of years back. After agreeing to such a demanding act of contrition, they allowed her to keep the loot. She did lose her job though, more likely because of the embarrassment the porn she charged to the taxpayer caused than the real crime. Anyway, just shows the British justice system for what it is when you hear of others caught doing the same thing (3 people, £300k) - porridge for you lads, with no early kid gloves release of the kind Chris Huhne is about to get.
You're barging in wrong
For Christs sake Apple get with the plot - you're not top dog anymore and it really is time to Think Different, if you can. That means your pathetic lawsuit days are over - including trying to trademark how ever the fuck you lay out your stores.
By the way, hows that thermonuclear thing working out for you?
"Thinking different" at its finest
Android demolished Apple in smartphone sales for 2012, and this is their response.
Re: I hope they make it
It won't affect Androids' market share a jot, but I think it'll take a hearty helping of Apples lunch and certainly keep Win8's anonymous entry in the "1% others" section of all the market share charts for the coming year.
You're polishing the turd wrong
The iSheep are starting to see what you've been doing to them all these years.
Just as I was about to convert too, having been persuaded by all that marketing spend.
- Updated Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
- Elon Musk's LEAKY THRUSTER gas stalls Space Station supply run
- Windows 8.1, which you probably haven't upgraded to yet, ALREADY OBSOLETE
- Mounties always get their man: Heartbleed 'hacker', 19, CUFFED
- Opportunity selfie: Martian winds have given the spunky ol' rover a spring cleaning