Feeds

* Posts by Bob Vistakin

912 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Schiller: 'Almost everyone' at Apple works on iPhones - not Macs or anything

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: And yet...

"Anecdotal evidence from teenagers..."

You missed the point, which is not whether they could or couldn't afford one, but the fact they no longer aspire to do so.

5
1
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
FAIL

And yet...

The figures out this week show a market share *drop* for the last quarter from 13% to 12% which covers the freaking 3 quarters the new iPhones were launched!

Anecdotal evidence from teenagers (unprompted) chat this week tells me the wind has definitely turned amongst them for anything Apple. It is definitely uncool - this Christmas all the desirable tech they want is Android powered, whether its Samsung, HTC, Sony or even the new Tesco tablet.

10
7

'I'm BIG, I'm BALD and I'm LOUD!' Blubbering Ballmer admits HE was Microsoft's problem

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

He did a great job

The whole computing industry thanks you for destroying microsoft.

August last year isn't too late to get into mobile. In the first edition of Bill Gates 1994 Road Ahead book, the word "internet" appeared twice. With such visionary leadership - including your own iPhone predictions - it is a puzzle why Microsoft bombed so hard.

Anyway, now youv'e finally heard of mobile and the guy you sent to rape Nokia is back home, you can get him to use the $2bn a year you extort from Android to come up with something people might notice.

12
1

Microsoft advertises Surface, Excel with maths mistake

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

The gift that keeps on giving

Don't worry microsoft, no matter how much you continually screw up your own products you've still got $2bn per year from extorting money from one you can never hope to come close to in a biilion years.

16
4

Apple admits to Mavericks iWork cockup, promises rescue

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Pint

You're iWorking it wrong

Hats off to the Reg for their continued reporting of what's a happened to the quality of Apples entire product range since the demise of St Steve.

1
11

Fury as OS X Mavericks users FORCED to sync contact books with iCloud

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Nanny knows best

Are they charging the iSheep more for this superior user experience? They should - they are the most gullible in the business and can be easily convinced this is better for them.

24
31

Microsoft founder Paul Allen's money man wants Redmond to break up

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

Re: "bin for Bing"

I do believe the microsoft shills round here are following a script. Why just last week when the painful reminder of Uncle Festers "Linux is a cancer" rant came up, they all piped up right on cue, with some pathetic argument about it all being in the past so it doesn't count - similar to this Bing copies Google one, in fact. Well the article on Googles official blog hasn't changed in the almost 3 years since it was written so I'd say it's as much a certainty as it is hilarious watching the apologists try to squirm out of it each time it's brought up.

Which it will be again, I'd warrant.

0
2
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: "bin for Bing"

Mind you, it could mean they develop a search engine of their own instead of merely throwing up a script kiddie wrapper round a real one.

4
6

Google and Samsung bare teeth in battle for LANDFILL ANDROID™

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge

Re: Phone Dialler

There's a windows phone out? Why doesn't anyone know about this?

12
1
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Sony forcasts 42m Android Xperias sales in 2013.

Sure a Brite yellow "look-at-me-I'm" Loonier wasn't just a little more tempting?

2
0

It's NOT an iPad - but that's FINE: I learned to LOVE Microsoft's Surface 2

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
WTF?

Huh? Does not compute

A Pro microsoft piece.

Quick, someone's done a DNS hijack on theregister.co.uk.

4
7

Microsoft holds nose, shoves Windows into Android, iOS boxes

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: So .... the lie comes full circle.

@AC 11:56

Gosh, I didn't realize there was a time limit on this. Please do let us know how you get on with the masses when you pardon the likes of Hitler, Ian Brady, Tony Blair etc for their evil acts against humanity, merely because they happened before some imaginary cut off date you conveniently pulled out your ass by way of a comedy "argument".

0
5
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

So .... the lie comes full circle.

"Linux is a cancer". Oh, wait.... that damn linux is powering Android, which is doing a fair bit better than us these days - in fact it's our only mobile revenue stream. Well, these are desperate times, so let's try to infect it with our shit and hope no-one notices.

18
5

Apple slams brakes on orders of (not so cheap) plasticky iPhone 5C

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: @ Bob Vistakin - No surprise

@andreas koch

Oh how useful selective amnesia can be when you choose to use it. With all this focus on the details of the number of cogs in your posh watch etc, it's almost too easy to forget wer'e dealing with the assholes who claimed to have invented the rounded corner, the sliding bolt (of the kind used in the Pyramids) and more recently the revolving door.

4
2
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: No surprise

Yet iOS7 is a cheap copy of Android. Clearly, this word "cheap" must be going through some kind of reality distortion field.

8
8

Will you strap on a Google KitKat 4.4 smartwatch this month?

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

"Apple's rumoured smartwatch is still nowhere to be seen"

So, the usual "copy, launch, sue" pattern from those who claim they Think Different.

4
5

Best Buy: Bring us your cowering, unwanted Microsoft Surface masses

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

All depends how easy the Microsoft label is to scratch off

Otherwise, everyone who sees you with one will think you're the same butty short of a picnic as the losers with one that's unmodified.

5
1

Samsung touching up ROUNDED, CURVY plastic enhanced MODEL

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

This also highlights the only advantage iPhone users have

They get to see what the iPhone in two years time will look like by just checking out todays top end Android models - hardware and software.

Cupertinos photocopiers worked hard today. Again.

2
17

Microsoft store staff to hold all night vigil for Surface 2

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

Microsoft Surface - the one used only by those forced to

It's so obvious that anyone with a choice avoids Microsoft, it hurts.

4
8

Nokia tears devs' hearts out, shutters Symbian and Meego stores early

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

Windows Phone is the only burning platform

Always was, always will be. :-(

3
0

Microsoft: We're nearly OUT OF STOCK of Surface 2 and Pro 2

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

Re: So...

Microsoft make tablets? Gosh - I wonder why no-one knows about this. Next you'll be saying they have a search engine of their own, rather than merely throwing a script kiddie wrapper round someone elses.

2
0

Two years after Steve Jobs' death, how's that new CEO working out?

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Apple

Well, that's the messenger well and truly shot.

Time to reload, things are about to get busy.

1
2
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Apple

New boss, new handsets and yet their users are *still* holding it wrong.

4
18

You're either mighty brave or mighty stupid. So which is it, Twitter?

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

Only twats tweet

And when everyone using it wakes up to this and shuffles away, embarrassed, this fantastic "business" running at nearly a half billion dollar loss is toast.

What a crazy world we live in.

#emporersnewclothes

0
2

British support for fracking largely unmoved by knowledge of downsides

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Just maybe

Surely no-one important is at risk here since its all going to take place in some desolate region the MP's of London, who decided all this, in somewhere called "Newcastle" way oop near Scotland?

1
4

Hackers just POURING through unpatched Internet Explorer zero-day hole

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Shit browser gets hacked

Phew, its only ie so no-one noticed.

4
0

Redmond expands fanboi trade-in program to include iPhones

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

Stay away - Windows Phone is a Burning Platform

It's about to get the Flop treatment.

1
0

Apple iOS 7 makes some users literally SICK. As in puking, not upset

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: A split personality release

Cheap copies of the market leader usually has this effect.

A quick drive across an airport runway will fix it..

23
14

iOS 7 SPANKS Samsung's Android in user-experience rating

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

Agreed - this is as impartial as an Orlowski microsoft piece.

30
3

Ellison ditches own cloud keynote for billionaires' America's Cup boat race

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
FAIL

Oracle and another mass exodus? There's a pattern here

This asshole tried to sue Google and lost.

The inevitable result: Is anyone even aware it's JavaOne this week? Last time I caught their podcast (2012), even the Java Posse were openly saying they were considering skipping it now. More fail evidence? The JavaOne app is for ... Android and iPhone.

1
3

Samsung's new image sensor promises better snaps in smaller devices

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

The iPhone will have that in 2 years time

Oh wait ... Jobs has gone - make that 3 years. And it'll just show black squares.

1
2

Chaos Computer Club: iPhone 5S finger-sniffer COMPROMISED

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

You're fingerprinting it wrong

Can't these stupid users get anything right?

13
4

Microsoft: Surface a failure? No, it made us STRONGER

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: We alienated our partners, wrote off $900m, and were the laughingstock of the industry...

Here's some illuminating commentary on Windows 8.

1
0

El Reg seeks new mobile, wireless tech writer - could it be YOU?

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

The names VistaKin - Bob VistaKin

I offer impartial mobile reporting specifically in the quality segment of the market, and some microsoft stuff too.

3
0

Ex-CEO Elop's plunder to total $25m in voyage from Nokia to Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Devil

Re: yawn...

Burning platform my fucking arse.

That bastard set fire to it himself knowing, no, *ensuring* this is how it would turn out.

19
0

Apple CEO Cook: 'We're not in the junk business'

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Hey speaking of junk

Will these iPhones run Apples own comedy map software or are they sticking with the professionals?

And has everyone missed the fact that Apple has been forced to apologise more times than a Lib Dem leader. Gosh, just found another. And we mustn't forget the apology for apologising wrong.

Apple - the comedy gift that just keeps on giving.

5
6

Apple beckons fanbois back into its golden era... of, er, 2010

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Pint

Fragmentation Fixes for the Fickle Fanbois

Come on Reg, its not like you to pass on a headline like that.

6
0

Microsoft announces iPad amnesty for fanbois

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Happy

In fact the Microsoft two-for-1 promo video is now on YouTube.

2
0

Massively leaked iFail 5S POUNDS pundits, EXCITES chavs

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Its "unexpectedly" shit?

Like the iPad mini, Maps and cloning Android for iOS7 didn't signal this downward spiral a mile away?

1
2

Apple’s iOS 64-bit iUpgrade: Don't expect a 2x performance leap

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge

Exactly - with a modern multitasking OS this would do really well

Like the one Google introduced for their phones way back in 2007. Unusually, Apple really have been true to their Think Different slogan through all those years and stuck with their dumbed down single tasking toy for the non-technical. And the lost, if they still use their comedy maps offering.

2
6
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Exactly - with a multitasking OS this would do really well

Like the one Google introduced for their phones way back in 2007. Unusually, Apple really have stick to their Think Different slogan through all those years and stuck with their dumbed down single tasking toy for the non-technical. And the lost, if they stlll use their comedy maps offering.

2
10

Boris Johnson floats idea of 'London visa' to attract tech talent

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

It's ok for Londoners to elect a Comedy mayor, but now he wants to be PM???

Right now it's just the rest of the UK laughing at Londoners. If he gets to be PM it'll be the rest of the world laughing at the UK.

0
0

Microsoft does a U-turn, releases Windows 8.1 to developers early after all

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

There really are still people developing for microsoft?

Gosh, next you'll be saying they have their own search engine and not some mere script kiddie wrapper round a real one.

8
0

Crack open those wallets: Microsoft is raising software prices AGAIN

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge

Re: Excellent photo of Blamer excreting the first Lumia

Hmm, the reg's small version seems to have wandered away. Never mind.

0
0
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Devil

Excellent photo of Blamer excreting the first Lumia

Like all its brethren it remains unsold but it's the movement which counts.

4
0

Microsoft, Nokia and the sound of colliding garbage trucks

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

Re: One unified brand...

This unified brand was coined "NoWin" when Blamers puppet was first sent over there.

3
0

Microsoft's $7.1bn Nokia gobble: Why you should expect the unexpected

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Microsoft need to change

"no amount of press bribery."

Hmm ... you know, Orlowski *is* very quiet on this whole subject right now.

0
0
Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: The dancing dad of IT

"...thrown cash at Bing"

But ... Microsoft’s Bing uses Google search results—and denies it.

0
0

Microsoft buys Nokia's mobile business

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Linux

"Erm - you know they sold something like 7 million Lumia's last quarter"

That unit of measure is known as a "By Thursday Lunchtime" in Android speak.

4
1

Microsoft's Nokia plan: WHACK APPLE AND GOOGLE

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: RIP Nokia

With this move, Micosoft announce they have given up competing with their own products. They see the way the market has gone, with Google/Apple dominating for the next decade at least, and just want a bigger slice of their efforts. Extortion has, and always will be, the only meaningful revenue option open to them in mobile.

Elops back home, they can lay off all those pesky Finns now they have what they really wanted all along, and Blamer is off laughing into the sunset.

18
4