769 posts • joined Saturday 24th December 2011 20:17 GMT
"leading windows tablets...even if Samsung execs have been less than pleased with sales"
You're having a laff!
They scoffed when Bob called 2013 Microsofts year of hell
But never mind it's not all bad news - at least soon Chrome OS users will be able to natively edit Word and Excel docs. Love to see the furniture repair bill in Seattle when that comes to the Chrome browser.
Extoring the Android manufacturers seemed such a great idea at the time. Arrogant Microsoft needs no friends, you see. They won't ever fall on hard times, and even if they did they can just bully their way back out. Can't they? Well, if not, here's some sound advice for them.
As pointless as a lib dem manifesto
Whilst the same colour and shape as what the torys are full of.
Perhaps this should be televised instead of PMQ's?
Micosoft similarly bling, fling, ding, springs etc
Funny headline, but not as funny as this :-)
7.4 million phones = 5 days for Android
A quarters sales is being touted as a success when Android activates that number every 5 days?
And all this is before the royalties to Google are due when they cough up to lifting wholesale Androids look and feel.
Summertime 2013, and the weather is lovely
We're now halfway through Microsofts year of hell, and it's stories like this and the other one today about them throwing in the towel when it comes to competing with Google in the cloud, that makes me want to crack open a sixpack, pull up a deckchair in the garden, relax and enjoy the show.
Ahh the quaint old iPhone - that takes me back a few years
There was a time all phones had tiny screens, could only do one thing at once,were totally locked down by the nanny that made them and cost a fortune. You say they're still for sale? That's amazing, but then again I guess there's always some level of demand for a nostalgic trip down memory lane.
Think fucking different
Remember folks, the patent system Apple bought has the credibility of an MP's expense claim - it allowed the stick through, for Gods sake, so all those fridge magnets you thought you stuck up first are in fact your delusion caused by the famous Cupertino reality distortion field.
Re: Several Questions:
Helpful Bob here to remind everyone of all the fun.
Remember who started all this
Payback can be such a bitch. And when you're plumb out of innovation, you're merely a one trick pony reduced to bullying n bribing courts on your own doorstep to earn a crust. And that horse is about to leave town...
Me got new one, me got bright yellow one
Me show new fone.
People run away. Come back I cry. Me show how brite yellow new fone is future.
People no understand. Brite yellow best fone ever.
Get a brite yellow fone. Show world you are special.
"Siri - define hypocrisy"
"Hypocrisy is the state of pretending to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy involves the deception of others and is thus a kind of lie."
Tee hee, snigger snigger, chortle chortle
"Windows Phone 8 might offer some tie-ins with HP's desktop portfolio, but if you're looking to make a splash in the smartphone arena it's better to use an OS people actually want to buy."
Re: But... but...
Microsoft are in the mobile space?
Why hasn't anyone heard of this - you 'd have thought with all the windows users out there there would be some level of interest.
IWatched Sony, Pebble I'm watch etc
Then as usual decided it's about time to catch up, err innovate one so I can get on with my real business of filing lawsuits against those who dared innovate them before me.
Aren't Apple about to innovate one of these any year now?
We'll see one as soon as the photocopiers in Cupertino have been replaced - they were worn out after the hammering they got making iOS7. Well, Android ICS has been out for two years now, so that's a hell of a lot of innovatin' to catch up on.
"Apple said to dump Google Maps for its own internally developed solution"
Hmm, how'd that work out for you then?
Is this like some wierd countries drug/porn/weapons laws where it's legal to own or sell them but illegal to use them? This has been in Android since Gingerbread (2.3) yet Apple dare not, for some inexplicable reason, try their asshat rounded corner bullying shit with Google.
Let's lighten the mood a little by remembering the hilarious embarrassment we all enjoyed when Apple had to apologize in the British Press for pulling exactly this kind of stunt there. Oh but wait... then there was one more thing. They had to think different and apologize again when they were told they were apologizing wrong. Now *that's* genius.
Whereas Apple maps has it in a car park in Grimsby?
"Siri, Apple Maps are clearly a vastly inferior attempt to copy what Google does best. Have you any suggestions regarding what we could do for IOS7 in a similar vein?"
Re: Oh you gotta be kidding....
Once again, the most important feature in all this - who is *really* behind SCO - is totally left out. There's so much FUD involved it's enough to make you want to throw your chair across the room and bury someone.
There's only one thing to do...
Are Windows phones still being outsold by Symbian?
No wonder the burning platform asshole wants to kill it off completely.
And iOS9, due in 2 years, will have the features of Android 4.2, out last year
It's all so tediously predictable.
It'll just be the usual Apple catchup fest we've seen in their last few handsets
Now they've had time to photocopy the flat icons from Androids ICS of 2 years ago, its suddenly their newest, greatest innovation.
As will be NFC, which miraculously transformed itself from being something their users "don't need" when only the competition had it, to another of their stunning breakthroughs essential to every smartphone from now on.
Windows - now that *is* a name from the past...
Thanks for the reminder - it's always fascinating taking a trip down memory lane. Also, few people outside Redmond are aware Microsoft once attempted to break into the mobile market, but unfortunately failed miserably, so this historical footnote is also of minor interest too.
"The company’s reliance on Facebook for revenue"
So, on a brighter note...
Let's see how the new, shiny, improved Windows 8 is doing when compared to that evil crappy old nasty who's name no Microsoft exec is even allowed to utter: Vista. Oh dear...
Re: More lipstick...
"Have you loaded Linux onto your iPad?"
Genuine question - since that device is only designed for the primitive one-thing-at-a-time kind of operation seen in legacy systems from years ago, is its hardware even capable of the kind of multitasking a modern OS like Linux offers?
Re: No chrome
HTC will be pleased then.
Redmond orders turd polish by the tankerful
But it's still not enough.
It's nice to see their new official Windows 8.1 line though - "It's like having a ping pong bat shoved up your ass while you try to get on with your work.".
Re: I can hardly believe
@TheVogon "The install base is in the millions."
As is Androids. Every day in fact.
Re: I can hardly believe
"Haha don't make me laugh."
Well, I'm reminded of the reply Russell Brand got after him and Woss made their obscene phone call prank and he said "All I ever wanted to do was make people laugh".
Reply: "Well Russell, any time you're ready to start".
Same with Microsoft. When they do get round to launching something other than a comedy burning platform, we'll see if its any use.
Re: I can hardly believe
Microsoft have some kind of mobile phone out? Why doesn't anyone know about this?
Re: Amen to that
Microsoft sends its sincere thanks to you and all their other beta testers for helping them fleece you each time you thought you were being such a heroic trailblazer.
2013: Microsoft's year of hell rolling along nicely I see
I'm quite enjoying watching this slow car crash in a schadenfreude kind of way.
Re: What? I only heard Neil.
That read to me the way a man who has been forced by some Blamer to go out to the press and polish a turd, even though the very thought disgusts him and he knows instinctively he's onto a loser.
It wouldn't surprise me to find out there actually was a totally compatible Android hardware layer underneath all this. Once the shareholders see sense, as they appear to be doing recently, Android handsets will then just be a case of applying decent software to the great hardware Nokia is known for plus some case retooling.
Clearly, Elop is standing on a burning platform now so hasn't that long to go.
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