* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1327 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Truly crap exhibition dumped on Isle of Wight

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Microsoft launching a new OS is always entertaining

Its hapless users cant wait to get their hands dirty with this one.

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Windows 7's grip on the enterprise desktop is loosening

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Microsoft are keeping quiet

There's a huge difference with Windows 10 which people don't realise - the EULA says you *have* to take all future updates, none of this defer indefinitely or GWX control panel malarkey. Word is, it's the last regular windows release so this is the way it has to be.

The few "upgraders" doing it now don't realise that not only is it the first hit or so that's free, but they're literally signing away their ability to get out in future.

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French mobe repair shop chaps trash customer's phone

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Doh

My all time favourite facepalm, especially when you know what he heard to cause it.

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Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

You beat me to it.

Life for those two trying to get another job will be fun, but not as much as that dept once all the previously unhappy customers see that vid...

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Bob Vistakin
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Childcatcher

Re: Can you hear me Forrest?

"Life is like a French mobile phone repair shop."

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Carving up the IT contract behind £500bn of annual tax collection is a very risky move

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

"Lack of skills has been named as one of the biggest blockers to the government realising its "digital transformation" ambitions."

And there's even fucking less of them around now the, err, government has just kicked loads out.

You just couldn't make this up.

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Microsoft lures top Linux exec from Oracle to Redmond

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Couldn't have put it better myself, and I've often tried.

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Holding out for a Jobs: Tim Cook still auditioning for position of Apple god

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Why no mention of their greatest inventions?

Where would the human race be without rounded corners, turning pages and the sliding locks of the kind used in the pyramids?

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Unpatched stealthy iOS MDM hack spells ruin for Apple tech enterprises

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Clearly, the users are stupid and have to be told

You're accepting it wrong

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Gartner: RIP double-digit smartphone growth. 2016 has killed you

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Who are these morons ?

Spot on.

The way I read that article is that there is massive trouble for Apple ahead.

Not only is everyone skint, they already have a smartphone so aren't stupid. They can see the kind of quality the Android handsets costing half anything Apple has, and the Chinese are pretty much here already with that.

Apples emperors new clothes scam is finally coming to an end.

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Apple's fruitless rootless security broken by code that fits in a tweet

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Hey Tim Cook

Hows that toxic hellstew thing working out for you?

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Zombie SCO rises from the grave again

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Who profits from Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt about Linux?

Follow the money from those who can't compete on quality, so extort instead to answer that one.

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Is iOS 9.3 Apple's worst ever update? First it bricks iThings, now Safari is busted

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Worst update? Click bait

Think different.

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We wrap our claws around latest pre-Build Windows 10 preview

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: C'mon son!

I see the new $22,000 microsoft surface is here - does it run internet explorer?

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Mud sticks: Microsoft, Windows 10 and reputational damage

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Don't blame users for the UI

Needs more of this. Much more.

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iPad bricked by iOS 9.3? Don't worry, we'll get through this together

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Pay more, get less - that's thinking different all right.

You're updating it wrong, iSuckers.

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Top! tip! for! Yahoo! – 'Fire! your! board! of! directors!'

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

And here's that reply in full

After careful consideration...

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Microsoft introduces yet another Skype for Windows 10

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: With all the random changes of direction at Redmond-

Does it run Hitler-loving sex-mad AI's?

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Apple Macs, iPhones, iPads, Watches, TVs can be hijacked by evil Wi-Fi, PDFs – update now

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: What a toxic hellstew

I don't think Android fans are under any illusions regarding that. The point is Apple's constant message of all being perfect in the Villa Straylight, so when it turns out to be no different the fact they've crowed about it so much brings them down to earth much harder.

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

What a toxic hellstew

Still, you get what you pay lots more for. Oh, wait...

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Microsoft to add a touch of Chrome to Edge

Bob Vistakin
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Thumb Up

Sounds useful

Especially if it runs stuff like this, so even the most incompetent browser manufacturers get their long standing bugs fixed at last.

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Microsoft's equality and diversity: Skimpy schoolgirls dancing for nerds at an Xbox party

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Head of marketing is unaware of who on his team booked them?

Bring back Blamer - he always knew who's fault screwups were.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Sigh

Tut tut tut.

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Stop! Before you accept that Windows 10 Mobile upgrade, read this

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

So many post mortems

So little time.

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Look out, Windows Phone 8 users – yes, both of you – here's ... Windows 10 Mobile

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Can people opt-out?

No, they can get lost

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Remix OS: China's take on an Android operating system – but for PCs

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Finally!

Will we be getting an equivalent SadNad moment?

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Get lost, Windows 10 and Phone fans: No maps HERE on Microsoft's OS

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Just the dregs left now

Spotify is giving them the bird too.

Will the last to leave please turn out the lights?

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Oops! Microsoft says its 'Bitcoin ban' was a bug, not a feature

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

A stopped clock is correct twice a day

I have to admit I thought microsoft were on the ball for a change with starting to refuse Bitcoin, with it being reported to be fatally broken. But no, as usual this sounds like news to them and it was down to the level of competence we've come to expect.

This reminds me of the only thing Gordon Brown got right being for the wrong reason - he held back the UK from the Euro solely because Tony Blair wanted it so much.

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Microsoft stops accepting Bitcoin in Windows Store

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Spotify stops accepting Windows Mobile as a platform

An "App Store" with fewer apps and now fewer ways to buy them.

Spock: "Fascinating."

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Hey Windows 10, weren't you supposed to help PC sales?

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: The Purpose of 10

The purpose of Windows 10 is to stuff ads down users throats at OS level.

Microsoft are always late to the party, and when they finally get there find it changed to fancy dress but no-one told them. This time they've seen how their entire business is headed toiletwards so think they can do a Google.

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Staff 'fury' as penny pinching IBM offers legal minimum redundo payoffs

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

The smarts saw this coming years ago

That's why they got out then for the best package. Now IBM is doing the same as HPE and just clearing out the deadwood - for an appropriate "deal", natch.

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Microsoft's done a terrible job with its Windows 10 nagware

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Weasely words for weasely actions.

Because Microsoft sort-of started out OK a long time ago but ended up like this?

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Steve Ballmer: Get the Facts. I 'love' SQL Server on Linux

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Here's something Blamer would surely approve of

Turns out the downgrade from Windows 7 to Windows 10 is now physically being forced on users.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Bill Gates now thinks Ballmer is an asshole

Read whats really being said here.

“Personality change leads to market perception change,” he said. He acknowledged that he and his predecessor, Bill Gates, are no longer close.

Microsoft shares lost more than 40 percent of their value in the time between Ballmer’s appointment and the announcement in 2013 that he would resign.Since Nadella took over in February 2014, shares have risen more than 50 percent.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

See, here's the deal with todays Microsoft

There's a glaringly obvious pattern everyone seems to be ignoring. Back in their day, people *had* to use Microsoft for pretty much everything, so choosing them, no matter how much it stuck in their throats, was a no brainer. They exploited their position and killed all rivals because, well they could, and could get away with it too, right down to writing off fines from the competition authorities as operating costs.

Today though people do have a choice, and whoopie doo, if it don't turn out that every time they have, they say no to Microsoft. Mobile? No thanks, we're ok with your competitors. Browsers? Well, we could use the one you bundle and is instantly available, but we'd genuinely prefer all the trouble of installing another. Cloud? Servers? Same deal. It can't be just a co-incidence. Could it be the decision makers of today remember being shat on yesterday, and it's time to say hello to Lady Karma?

The new Android has split screens, and we're seeing more and more desktop spins. I'd give it a couple more releases - about the time ChromeOS does the full merge - before it's launched as a full-on desktop Windows competitor. It already has 85% mobile share, so it's not exactly starting from scratch. Of course, being always based on Linux means a headless server spin must be a doddle for the Google smarts, as are the incremental refinements needed to Google Docs to prise the remaining Office users away.

No wonder we're seeing all these desperate turnarounds. They are trying to "regain" the hearts and mind of the users they never had in the first place. The writing's on the wall - potty mouth might be yesterdays man, but his new gang can't undo the carnage he's left them with, no matter how many chairs they scramble to put back in place.

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Behold, Microsoft SQL Server on Linux – and a firm screw-you to Oracle

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

A proper Microsoft vs Oracle scrap

This is genuinely confusing. Like, say a David Cameron vs Piers Morgan fight to the death where the only weapons are broken bottles. Clearly, you'd like them both to lose, but it to drag on as long and painfully as possible for both.

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IBM to erase 14,000 people from the payroll – Wall St analyst

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Stop me if I'm wrong

Cheerio.

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Microsoft has crafted a switch OS on Debian Linux. Repeat, a switch OS on Debian Linux

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Re: For those that remember.....

I'd add another: Nokia.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Linus Torvalds: 'If Microsoft ever does applications for Linux it means I've won.'

Patience, comrades - we're almost there.

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Microsoft joins Eclipse Foundation. Odd thing for a competitor to do

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Convoluted plotline

Here's a preview of episode 2.

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Yelp-for-people app Peeple is back – so we rated Julia, its cofounder

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Then again, this does sound like extortion, so perhaps the point is to get bought out by a bigger specialist in this area.

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Microsoft wants to lock everyone into its store via universal Windows apps, says game kingpin

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: App stores suck

Sigh.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: App stores suck

Well, at least you can always trust Microsoft.

To screw things up at every turn.

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HP Enterprise Services readies deeper cuts in UK: Now 1,000 techies face axe

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Lytham: Are the people going, or the roles?

Once those 166 walk away does the work they were doing before not get done, or turn out to not have to have needed to be done in the first place, as is often par for the course when civil servants are involved?

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Windows 10 Mobile bug fixes come thick and fast as official upgrade nears

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You just couldn't make this up

Windows 10 mobile? Well, speaking of platforms we all thought had been put out of their misery, with a straight face I hereby announce the return of Windows RT.

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Triple-murderer prisoner keeps mobile phone in his butt for a week

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: What's the number?

At least it answers Orlowskis recent question - "nope - another is being created in the usual way ready for production as we speak".

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German mayor's browser tabs catch him with trousers down

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Didn't Watergate teach politicians anything?

It's never the crime that gets you, it's always the cover up.

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Trade union threatens work-to-rule action over HPE Lancashire job cuts

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: "not covering for anyone else’s work"

It even covers answering the phone on another desk when they take a break.

Been there, seen it, got the T-Shirt. Guess where? BT during the "It's you we answer to" days.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

That's shocking

"This includes an overtime ban, members only working for their contracted hours, taking full break entitlements and not covering for anyone else’s work."

This is serious - they'll do exactly as the civil servants there do right now.

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Samsung S7 tease suggests phone likes it hot and wet

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Users waking up to Apple ripping them off?

That's nothing compared to the avalanche of top quality Chinese clones on the way. Just Google that, or check out the first random youtube video I hit.

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