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* Posts by Bob Vistakin

912 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Microsoft slaps fresh paint on code-free Windows Phone dev tool

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: That's nice of them

0. A smartphone OS should not be rammed down unwilling victims throats by an extortionist taking $5 per handset from other smartphone OS manufactureres.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

The guy developing for Windows Mobile says "thanks"

But it turns out he thought he was coding for Android having been confused by the Nokia X.

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Apple patents touch-sensitive controls for MacBook

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

"My old man still asks to this day "Is that an iPhone?" when seeing any touch-screen phone"

Even the Sony Ericsson P800, released in 2002?

The reality distortion field is strong in this one.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

This is how stupid they are. Some guy patented a stick just to deliberately take the piss.

This level of stupidity, combined with the best law money can buy, is how companies plumb out of ideas can get away with this kind of rounded corner type shit.

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PSST! New PCs with Windows 7 preinstalled are out there – and will be into 2015, at least

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

The Nokia Android phone will be the same story

Isn't it obvious? Nokia launch a low-end handset running Android just before being absorbed into the collective. Microsoft, being their usual clueless selves regarding what their customers really want (as clearly demonstrated in this article), don't see the glaring danger until it's far too late. Of course these handsets will be a runaway success, far outstripping the pathetic sales of the "official" Windows Mobile line until it gets to the point where, as in this PC OS story, they have built their own nightmare scenario where they must decide which line to kill - the one they spent billions marketing but just won't sell, or the one the customer wants.

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A Year of Code timeline: History of a HYPEGASM

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

"Ows about that then, now then, now then"

As another BBC employee with as much credibility as the shameless parasites running this fiasco might have said.

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Elitist approach still paying off for Apple in mobile market

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

So that's why Nokia are going Android

Either that, or continue to scrap around in the rapidly shrinking 5% "others" section.

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It's Satya! Microsoft VP Nadella named CEO as Bill Gates steps down

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: Not Elop then.

People actually use Windows as a *server*? Well I never. Gosh, next you'll be telling me they have a ... hey, hang on, you're right. Let's not harp on about you know what anymore, but instead see if you for once have the balls to comment on the topic all microsoft shills conveniently ignore - the extortion racket they are running with Android, by which of course I mean their only meaningful contribution to mobile being the $5 per handset they fleece from the OEMs.

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Yahoo! Mail! users! change! your! passwords! NOW!

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: users should never use the same password on multiple sites or services," said Yahoo!

Users should never use Yahoo for anything serious, says common internet knowledge.

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Troll-hunting cases SPIKED in 2012... but remain high

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

The trolls I hate the most

Are the hypocrites who use made up names.

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Android holds steady as iOS and Windows Phone slip in Kantar reports

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

It's amazing how much press Microsoft phones get

Considering how clearly irrelevant and unused they are. Why, it's almost as if Microsoft know they have a crap product but think they can market it down everyones throat just by spending money on ads and paid shills, rather than spending it on improving quality.

Oh, wait...

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Microsoft loses grip on Christmas shoppers... despite XBox boost

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: And still I have yet to see a Windows phone in the wild @AC 21:32

"Encouraged to do so by their teacher, I'd imagine. Very professional. "

So, teachers should push Microsoft "smartphones" to kids. I'm confident anyone advocating this is equally fair when it comes to educating them also on the meaning of the word "extortion", where microsoft makes on average $5 per Android handset from those making gear people actually want.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: And still I have yet to see a Windows phone in the wild

It's not funny anymore.

I want to see someone using one to make sure all this talk of any kind of market share isn't just some big online conspiracy. 90% of people I meet, from work, to just observing them in the gym, on the train etc use Android, 9% iPhones and the rest are scraps like BB and legacy (there's a difference?)

I have to be honest and admit I saw some in the Tesco in-store mobile shop last week.

All on the shelves.

Unsold.

With no one interested in them.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

And still I have yet to see a Windows phone in the wild

Seriously - is there some kind of prize for the first actual one I find?

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

"Windows phone = loser"?

You mean it's like a burning platform?

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Nokia's Android? It's not for the likes of us…

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

That horse bolted so long ago

It spent years on the race track, had a nice relaxing retirement and is now resting gently on the shelves of your local Tesco.

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Surface Pro 2 dim screen of death snafu STILL happening after patch

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Feeling left out...

Fascinating.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Microsoft has a tablet out?

Whooosh!

You too have a very interesting posting history, Anonymous Coward.

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Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Microsoft has a tablet out?

Well color me amazed. Next you'll be saying they have some kind of presence in the smartphone industry.

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Google cleared to land in private terminal at Silicon Valley airport

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Re: About time

This is how it begins.

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NTT DoCoMo says two mobe OSes are enough, so sayonara to Tizen

Bob Vistakin
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Paris Hilton

Re: Tizen is a total basket case

Its the LibDem of smartphone OS's. Claims to support whatever fad is in vogue that particular week, but even when it finally does see the light of day gets totally steamrollered at every turn.

Paris, for she knows just what it means to be the big boys bitch.

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Microsoft buries Sinofsky Era... then jumps on the coffin lid

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: A common API is definitely a must.

For microsoft, it's also a first.

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Nokia Lumia update spreads Black death

Bob Vistakin
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Gimp

Re: Loonier software on Loonier handsets

Brite yellow grate color for phone.

Brite yello make me stand out.

People in pub see me wiv brite yello phone and point at me.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Loonier software on Loonier handsets

Do these problems apply to them all or just the bright yellow ones?

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Apple files foul-up-fixing patent for fumbling slab-fondling flubbers

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Once again an Android idea is slightly tweaked and claimed as original

I'm proud of my Nexus 5, which similarly knows if I'm walking, running or riding a bike. But we're dealing with the famous Apple reality distortion field here and the best courts money can buy, so the fact that phone's been out for 4 months and they'll still be awarded this patent even though they only got round to copying it today today is all perfectly right and proper.

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Never mind bungled Universal Credit rollout, Maude wants UK to be 'most digital' gov by 2015

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Lest we forget

During the great corruption exposure of 2010 it emerged that Multimillionaire Francis Maude claimed for a second London home, to, err, make life easier for MP's living away from London, which was "yards from his first".

He topped that with his noble attempt at creating mass panic on the roads of Britain with his helpful advice on how to deal with the fuel shortage, forever earning him the nickname "Jerrycan".

Now, what has this shining model of credibility been saying again?

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Microsoft's next CEO: Who it WON'T be – Ford turn-around chief Mulally

Bob Vistakin
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Childcatcher

Could I suggest Gordon Brown?

I hear he's at a loose end these days, and he's looking to make amends for the little mishap or two he caused to the British economy recently.

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Acer cozies up to Google with new 'droid PCs and fondleslab, Chromebook

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

So ... hardware manufacturers are now openly telling Microsoft to get stuffed

Payback is such a bitch.

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Skype's Twitter account, blog hacked to spread anti-Microsoft messages

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

2014: Microsofts year of implosion

And so it begins.

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Apple wants sales ban on Samsung smartphones nobody is selling

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're banning it wrong

The idea is to ban phones actually being sold. With round corners.

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Get lost, fanbois: Nokia pulls HERE Maps from Apple's App Store

Bob Vistakin
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Windows

Re: The obvious solution

"Google Maps shite"

Could you enlighten us all on any mapping software available anywhere you think is better?

Hint: Don't go here or here or you'll end up like the chappie in the icon using one of those to find a place to eat.

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Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

Re: The obvious solution

Its maps work great.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

The obvious solution

I was in Tesco a few days ago and saw the Motorola G for £99. You can unlock them for £2.04 on eBay. You could buy 5 of these for the price of an IPhone and have enough change to see you through 6 months of a non-handset contract.

Oh, and its maps work great. Unless you've been told to Think Different.

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Android, Chromebooks storm channel as Windows PC sales go flat

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: So if we award all desktops to Microsoft then I make it...

@Lol "Chromebook deniers" indeed. Speaking of which, here's some cheery reading for any remaining Microsoft holdouts - aka "linux deniers":

Linux is Everywhere. We show you exactly where.

Happy New Year!

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

And so as 2013, Microsofts year of hell, draws to a close

We can all look forwards and raise a glass to 2014: Microsofts year of implosion.

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Samsung: Men, our Gear smartwatch will make you a hit with the sexy ladies

Bob Vistakin
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Thumb Down

That ad is a different kind of awful

One for which a word has not yet been invented.

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Fanbois, prepare to lose your sh*t as BRUSSELS KILLS IPHONE dock

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Thinking Different?

Nope, you're thinking wrong.

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Windows Phone app developers: These games are made for you

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Wont be found here...

Oooh, so adding that 12% to Androids 81% leaves, err, 7% for Apple + rest.

Aren't statistics marvelous?

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Wont be found here...

Yes I keep hearing about these "Windows phones" too, but you never see them in the wild. Have they been released yet, or is this is Microsoft getting their equivalent of an app store ready for when it is?

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Microsoft admits: We WON'T pick the next Steve Ballmer this year

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

I'd vote for Flop

If he does to m$ what he did to Nokia we'd all be very happy indeed.

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Apple CEO Cook breaks YEARS OF SILENCE, finally speaks to El Reg hack

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

What's an iPad?

Is that some cheap knock off copy of an Android tablet?

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What you need to know about moving to the Azure public cloud

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

What you need to know about moving to the Azure cloud?

Don't do it on a fucking leap year.

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Microsoft 'cautiously optimistic' about Christmas sales

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Any time you're ready to launch one of your phones

We're here looking out for one.

Is there a prize for the first one spotted in the wild?

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Android tablets to outsell laptops by 2017: IDC

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Extortionists rejoice!

Android is microsofts only revenue stream from mobile and tablets.

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Best budget Android smartphone there is? Must be the Moto G

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Why?

@Truth4u

You can thank Microsoft for this. Seriously.

The Nexus devices do not come with SD card slots NOT because Google wants everyone to use their cloud, although that's obviously somewhere in the mix, it's because they would have to include the dreaded FAT32 filesystem onboard and hence cough up to the losers who leech. If you notice, whenever you connect a Nexus device to a PC or whatever, its external software which does the file decoding - hence no extortion tax on that front, at least.

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Cheapest I have found.....

Same here. I've lost count now of the number of people I know buying this for Christmas. The rest are Nexus 5's.

Starting to have trouble remembering what other phones there are apart from Android these days. Surely after the Christmas sales figures are out we'll just see the dregs scrapping around for what Google would consider the floor noise of their market share.

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Microsoft wields turkey knife, slices Surface to $199 for Black Friday

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Hello! Still here! Surface 2! Way better than iPad! says slightly desperate Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Every time I see the term "Surface 2" I'm reminded of the time this guy needed, err, 2

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Xbox One FAILS to beat PS3 - yes, PS 3 - week one sales

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Any fucking wonder?

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Microsoft pulls its crowd-control tech from out of the shadows

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Always entertaining

To read Microsofts official explanation of why they literally don't know what day it is when dealing with Azure.

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