* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1253 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

SatNad failure as Lumia income drops over 50% at Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: It's a shame... I Guess

It's time to piss all over another microsoft burning platform, except this one didn't take much to extinguish at all.

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Sales down, profit up, 1,000 bods chopped: Your one-minute guide to Planet Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
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"I hear Google is hiring."

Unfortunately no one from Microsoft need apply.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Loonia

Woah - hold yer horses, cowboy! Microsofts rape of Nokia was terrible, yes, but this girl is gonna come back and spit on their grave in 2016. The "deal" was they couldn't launch a smart device under the Nokia name until then.

The icing on the cake will be the platform distribution figures for microsoft mobile software once it gets up to speed in 2017, if indeed there is any hardware running a microsoft OS at that time. I'll repeat that link just to make clear where things are headed.

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: Loonia

Or try to extend, embrace then extinguish another non-burning platform.

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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Bob Vistakin
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They laughed when they thought Microsoft were late to the wearables party - lets see 'em laughing with this where the sun don't shine.

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Samsung told to build bots who work for less than Foxconn staffers

Bob Vistakin
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Its just a variation of the the "Jack Straw" conundrum

He'd bang on in Parliament about wanting defence cuts, yet back home in his constituency where the ROF made ammo promise his workers a glorious future.

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Microsoft now awfully pushy with Windows 10 on Win 7, 8 PCs – Reg readers hit back

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

The desperation is strong in this one

"Upgrading", I shall not be

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Shocker: Net anarchist builds sneaky 220v USB stick that fries laptops

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Why bother with the USB stick?

If you want to trash a laptop just run Windows 10.

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Hey, Facebook – these are the new Like buttons you should have used

Bob Vistakin
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Verdict

Use this

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Microsoft updates Band semi-smartwatch for fitness fanatics

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Wind?

Did you get the wrong forum? This one's about MS Band, nothing to do with phones.

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Bob Vistakin
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Sigh

I actually did see one of those app less mythical Microsoft mobile phones in the wild - just as they were universally declared dead by the industry.

Will I be going through the same thing with microsofts catch-up "me too" watch?

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BlackBerry emits Android mobe as biz goes down the Priv

Bob Vistakin
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What a shit name

Venice was great. Typical BlackBerry - no idea if they have a winner or loser on their hands, so they screw things up at the last moment just to ensure things head toiletward.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Bob Vistakin
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Let there be WiFi

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XCodeGhost iOS infection toll rises from 39 to a WHOPPING 4,000 apps

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Google Play immune?

Yeah, and as usual it turns out Apple were telling David Hamerons when it comes to how serious things are. Reports of how bad the malware really is are coming out now, as well as the 4k+ numbers as reported by El Reg.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Google Play immune?

Its this "rigorous testing" which puzzles me. The whole thing sounds really phishy (sorry). What I mean is, say you find an app with malware. How can you tell if that malware has been added unknowingly by infected build tools, or knowingly by an evil developer using legit tools? Apps are apps, and do things apps do as per any software no matter how they were created. What on earth can an infected build tool do to an app that a sneaky developer can't, to the extent it waltzes through Apples defenses this way?

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iOS's infected app-list continues to grow, says Lookout

Bob Vistakin
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Re: First of many

And remember of course the developers themselves are totally unaware they are uploading malware directly to the app store.

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Bob Vistakin
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You're trusting it wrong.

More importantly, wheres the advice for users? How can they tell which apps on their device right now are affected?

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iCloud phishing attack hooks 39 iOS apps and WeChat

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

Re: Umm...

You can say that again.

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Bob Vistakin
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Even worse - smug western fanbois wave their ponytails in contentment saying "it's ok, it's only China." But think about this: there was no warning. These apps passed the same stringent human-inspected tests the western app stores do. How to we know this hasn't happened already "over here" and we're just waiting for the big one?

A walled garden that lets malware in? That's Thinking Different. all right.

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Apple iPhones, iPads BRICKED by iOS 9's 'slide-to-upgrade' bug

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Ban Them!

No, it can't be the fault of the device, because Apples "help" desk has issued the following advice:

You're uograding it wrong.

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JetBrains refuses to U-turn on subscriptions (but sweetens the deal)

Bob Vistakin
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Re: It's never been easy...

Google, please buy them. You're halfway there already with Android Studio.

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Microsoft has developed its own Linux. Repeat. Microsoft has developed its own Linux

Bob Vistakin
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Re: "Microsoft Linux" ?

Or even "Microsoft Zune", another typical microsoft catch-up "me too" failed experiment, fit only for posters on tech forums to mock by constructing fake names from.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Finally hired someone who knows good software

U-ho.

Their mobile efforts also failed, so their only way forward was infiltration. Is this the way we'll see Linux on the desktop then?

Maybe we could ask cortana.

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Shedload of security bugs squashed in iOS 9 – what the hell went wrong with iOS 8?

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: straight question

They're Thinking Different.

Fixing bugs when they are reported makes it clear their immaculate products weren't so perfect after all, and as always with Apple it marketing first.

Small point - the bluetooth AirDrop hack became public this week but its not on that list?

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Jeremy Corbyn wins Labour leadership election

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Goodbye Labour Party

A sure sign the tories fully realise what a (literal) loser he is will be how they treat him. Since him and his party are no threat whatsoever, they'll do anything to keep him there. Watch how gentle they will be at PMQ's, TV debates etc.

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: Pyhrric victory

So long New Labour, hello again Old Labour, riots on the streets, strikes every other week and what's this - Militant has woken up too - yippee! So Derek Hatton has just been biding his time all along. Taxi!

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WinPhone community descends into CANNIBALISM and WOE

Bob Vistakin
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2016 apparently.

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Ubuntu Wily gaggle builds 15.10 beta beachhead

Bob Vistakin
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"Now if only they could fix the fact that basically every package I need to work has to be installed manually I'd probably switch over."

Yes, its should just *know* what you want to do then get on with it. As well as disposing Andrex, via a robot arm and a gentle circular motion at the appropriate point.

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‘Dumb pipe’ Twitter should sell up and quit, says tech banking chap

Bob Vistakin
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I had bacon for breakfast

Says it all really.

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Oracle laying off its Java evangelists? Er, no comment, says Oracle

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: About Time

@Christian Berger Assembler is for pussies.

Real men get t'beach w't bucket, dig up't sand t'ferry t'fabrication plant t'extract silicon ready for every gate to be hand built on t'chip wi t'tweezers and t'microscope.

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Microsoft backports data slurp to Windows 7 and 8 via patches

Bob Vistakin
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Fucking Hypocrites

Scroogled

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Legal eagles accuse Labour of data law breach over party purge

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: If I am ever canvassed by Labour...

The Labour Party. Now, that *is* a name from the past.

You'd have thought the tories would start making decades-long plans seeing as the irritating 4 year election term has been abolished. Mind you, the realisation they are not accountable any more got off to a great start today with the appointment of the Noble "Lord" Hogg, for his lifelong dedicated service to Moat cleaners.

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Motorola monsters Apple's swipe-to-unlock patent in German court

Bob Vistakin
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Slide to unlock was used in the Pyramids

One day Apple might come up with something original, but it would be going against what Saint Jobs baked into their mindset from the start.

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Apple recalling iPhone 6 Pluses to correct their iSight

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

Re: You're photographing it wrong

@werdsmith You're generalizing it wrong.

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Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Re: You're photographing it wrong

@Mike Bell You're getting out of bed in the morning wrong.

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Bob Vistakin
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You're photographing it wrong

More from the gift that just keeps on giving.

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Vodafone UK rocks the bloat with demands for vanilla Android

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Every cloud has a silver lining

"Or it could be because having gone from 100,000 people to fewer than 8,000 staff, Moto doesn’t have any programmers left."

Correct.

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One more thing: Swatch trademarks dead Steve Jobs' catchphrase

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Pish..

Correct - blatantly ripped off Columbo. Nothing Apple ever produced has been original.

It's baked into their mindset. They even took their fucking name from the Beatles record label.

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Yet another Android app security bug: This time 'everything is affected'

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

A Corbyn of flaws.

Its heart is in the right place, but ultimately its policies cannot work in the real world and will destroy the very thing it strives to uphold.

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Bob Vistakin
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A schadenfreude of flaws

Coz Android security is a pile of Schmidt.

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Android apps are flooding on to jailbroken Win10 phones

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

There we have it. With Microsoft, its always "The *next* this, the *next* that" which will totally blow the market away.

Always has been, and always will be.

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Bob Vistakin
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Donald Trump dumps on Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Hairstyles to "disguise" baldness: The Elephant in the Room

Ahh, for years the undisputed king has been the Bobby Charlton brushover, but alas the remaining wisps have all fluttered off now leaving this new magnificent combover specimen to Trump them all.

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Botched Google Stagefright fix won't be resolved until September

Bob Vistakin
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Re: standard Google behaviour, only hearing the echoes

But September?

Marshmallow is out in October!

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Hey, Apple, we’re watching Faulty Tellies. Gonna tell us why?

Bob Vistakin
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Sigh

Cue the inevitable "You're watching it wrong."

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CAUGHT: Lenovo crams unremovable crapware into Windows laptops – by hiding it in the BIOS

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Googles "Don't be evil" motto

Who did they have in mind when they coined this, again?

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FAIL: Windows 10 bulk patch produces INFINITE CRASH LOOP

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Tut tut tut

So much finger waving, so many "told you so" s.

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Boffins: The universe is DOOMED and there's nothing to be done

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

There's a lot of firsts happening in that year of the heat death

Its the year of Linux on the desktop.

Microsoft writes a browser which shows webpages correctly.

XP market share falls below 10%.

A MP submits an honest expenses claim.

Apple comes up with an idea of its own.

Labour win their first election since 2005.

Liverpool win the Premiership title.

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Testing Motorola's Moto G third-gen mobe: Is it still king of the hill?

Bob Vistakin
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"If you don't need Apps get a Lumia"

Love it! Some refreshing honesty for a change. If only microsoft had used that in their ads...

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Windows 10 wipes your child safety settings if you upgrade from 7 or 8

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Disgracefull!

Microsoft might not care about stopping kids getting into trouble online but it sure as hell wants to know all about it anyway.

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