898 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011
This mythical Microsoft Phone you speak of
It really sounds intriguing. Let us know when it launches so I can check it out.
You can trust Microsoft
To always be the "me too" players in computing. Lemme guess - costs twice as much as the competition but does half as much, but since they target the usual fat cat brown-paper-bag-stuffed-with-cash decision makers, like councils etc, they have no need to worry about sales. Of whatever it is they are selling here.
Re: I say chaps, I don't think that you understand what you are supposed to do here.
Never forget the real comedy aspect of the damage Windows 8.1 is doing to Microsoft: it's all self-inflicted.
They didn't "poach" him
He just jumped off the burning platform.
Re: Dear Microsoft
Netflix? Try again - it was IE, A piece of software Microsoft has been developing for 15 years that has become officially shit.
That video is always worth watching. The majestic sweep of the arm, the confident proclamation, the triumphant tone in the voice as he shows the world how "I'm running Internet Explorer", at which point it hilariously freezes up.
A textbook comedy lesson in perfect timing, from the gift that just keeps on giving.
"4.4 per cent of the market"
That's called floor noise by Google. And here's me trying my hardest to spot a windows phone in the wild.
Any day now, I'm sure...
The real reason
Hands up those who even knew this existed.
Re: This of Course has...
IE can be used for something other than downloading Chrome?
Microsoft: The comedy gift
That just keeps on giving.
Re: It's OK everyone.
"a thread of gripes on user site WPCentral has reached almost 1,000 comments in three days"
That's because the Microsoft shills are all here! Quick, scurry off to downvote/delete/apologise or whatever over in your own back yard...
Re: Damned if you do
Ahh yes, I remember the days of BBS's on 9600 baud dialup. It's nice to see they are still in use for low traffic requirements such as this, but clearly here more than one simultaneous user was considered so unlikely it wasn't even tested.
"Risk wrecking their phones" ???
How the fuck do you wreck such an unusable car crash as a Windows phone?
That's like asking visitors to a sewage farm not to fart or it'll make the place smell bad.
The comedy gift that just keeps on giving.
So Flop gets to ruin the phone business, again
This guy just keeps leaping about those infernal burning platforms
Mind you, the new Nokia "ConFuze" is sure to be a hit.
Q. It looks like a Windows phone. Does it run Windows phone apps?
Q. I hear it runs Android. Can I load apps from the Play Store then?
Q. It's from Nokia - it must run the decades of Nokia Symbian software that made them so big then?
Q. I see it has BlackBerry stuff on it - does it run BlackBerry software?
WTF? Well, you sure ConFuzed me...
And in a shock twist, a name from the past is now in charge of Office
Welcome back Clippy!
Re: Typical Microsoft
"Microsoft's permanently extended middle digit"
Applause! Well played sir :-)
Re: Dell does build Android slabs
Microsofts motto: do be evil.
Re: The Curse of HP
Bypassing Microsoft is always a smart move, no matter what the circumstances.
I'd been waiting for the new series of The Thick Of It
Here's the tired old textbook example of some clueless politician being told what bandwaggon to jump on by his spads, and as usual just making a prat of himself to those in the know. He's as much cred as Gordon Brown telling us he's an Arctic Monkeys fan, as if that could ever happen. Oh, wait...
If they put this in the back of your boxer shorts
Would it make you a SmartArse?
Re: Well done El Reg
A virtual one for me too. Even if I could make it to the smoke, I'd prefer that to the warm pissed-in dishwater known throughout the world as London beer :-)
Re: That has got to be embarrassing for Microsoft
And it's about to get a whole lot worse in mobile. Spot the pattern: Microsoft write new OS, which is shit. Users avoid it. Microsoft spends zillions marketing it. Users still avoid it. Microsofts last resort is to go nuclear to force users to use it.
Now think about mobile. Microsoft launches shit OS ... repeat as above, except the new popular OS everyone wants is Android on Nokia kit. Android on Nokia proves a massive hit so Microsoft then ...?
Re: It's not a feeder for Windows Phone
"12% in the UK"
I'll have some of what you're smoking. You've obviously got a bit more than your fellow shill yesterday telling us it was 10%.
You really expect people to believe over 1 in every 10 smartphone users are on windows when they can see it's plainly untrue just by looking around them during the day?
And I've *stlill* not seen a windows mobile in the wild yet. heck, at this rate the first will be one of these windroids, and at these prices it will be because I'll be buying it, assuming I can load Cyanogen onto it, natch.
Re: You guys are biased
Me want brite yello one.
Me stand out with brite yello cheap fone.
People point at me when I pull out brite yello phone.
Re: NOKIA SHOULD MAKE ANDROID
Hmm .. I wonder if there's any connection between Elop not getting the CEO job and him allowing this to happen whilst installed as Ballmers trojan.
There's a serious error in this article everyone has missed
Right there in the headline. Microsoft has "pals"? Nope - only paid shills, many of whom frequent these very forums.
Re: That's nice of them
0. A smartphone OS should not be rammed down unwilling victims throats by an extortionist taking $5 per handset from other smartphone OS manufactureres.
The guy developing for Windows Mobile says "thanks"
But it turns out he thought he was coding for Android having been confused by the Nokia X.
The Nokia Android phone will be the same story
Isn't it obvious? Nokia launch a low-end handset running Android just before being absorbed into the collective. Microsoft, being their usual clueless selves regarding what their customers really want (as clearly demonstrated in this article), don't see the glaring danger until it's far too late. Of course these handsets will be a runaway success, far outstripping the pathetic sales of the "official" Windows Mobile line until it gets to the point where, as in this PC OS story, they have built their own nightmare scenario where they must decide which line to kill - the one they spent billions marketing but just won't sell, or the one the customer wants.
"Ows about that then, now then, now then"
As another BBC employee with as much credibility as the shameless parasites running this fiasco might have said.
So that's why Nokia are going Android
Either that, or continue to scrap around in the rapidly shrinking 5% "others" section.
Re: Not Elop then.
People actually use Windows as a *server*? Well I never. Gosh, next you'll be telling me they have a ... hey, hang on, you're right. Let's not harp on about you know what anymore, but instead see if you for once have the balls to comment on the topic all microsoft shills conveniently ignore - the extortion racket they are running with Android, by which of course I mean their only meaningful contribution to mobile being the $5 per handset they fleece from the OEMs.
Re: users should never use the same password on multiple sites or services," said Yahoo!
Users should never use Yahoo for anything serious, says common internet knowledge.
The trolls I hate the most
Are the hypocrites who use made up names.
It's amazing how much press Microsoft phones get
Considering how clearly irrelevant and unused they are. Why, it's almost as if Microsoft know they have a crap product but think they can market it down everyones throat just by spending money on ads and paid shills, rather than spending it on improving quality.
Re: And still I have yet to see a Windows phone in the wild @AC 21:32
"Encouraged to do so by their teacher, I'd imagine. Very professional. "
So, teachers should push Microsoft "smartphones" to kids. I'm confident anyone advocating this is equally fair when it comes to educating them also on the meaning of the word "extortion", where microsoft makes on average $5 per Android handset from those making gear people actually want.
Re: And still I have yet to see a Windows phone in the wild
It's not funny anymore.
I want to see someone using one to make sure all this talk of any kind of market share isn't just some big online conspiracy. 90% of people I meet, from work, to just observing them in the gym, on the train etc use Android, 9% iPhones and the rest are scraps like BB and legacy (there's a difference?)
I have to be honest and admit I saw some in the Tesco in-store mobile shop last week.
All on the shelves.
With no one interested in them.
And still I have yet to see a Windows phone in the wild
Seriously - is there some kind of prize for the first actual one I find?
- One HUNDRED FAMOUS LADIES exposed NUDE online
- Twitter: La la la, we have not heard of any NUDE JLaw, Upton SELFIES
- China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain
- Apple to devs: NO slurping users' HEALTH for sale to Dark Powers
- Rubbish WPS config sees WiFi router keys popped in seconds