* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1064 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Project Spartan: We get our claws on Microsoft's browser for Windows 10

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Microsoft has a new browser? One word: torsoraphy.

Google it. Or Bing it, same thing.

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Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge in Vulture's claws: we find looks AND brains

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Storage?

Mind you, all this curved edge malarkey give us a fascinating glimpse of the 2018 iPhone.

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Surface Pro 3 update has so much new stuff for sysadmins, we can't fit it all in one headline

Bob Vistakin
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I did exactly the same too!

But back to this tablet firmware update. It seems Microsoft are all lovey-dovey these days in their desperation to get others to run their software, so does this tablet hardware support a proper firmware upgrade, i.e. to Android, and more to the point are they as lovey-dovey when it's done this way round?

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Dear departed Internet Explorer, how I will miss you ... NOT

Bob Vistakin
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Fortunately the move to a microsoft free world is gathering real momentum. S Korea, for example, as well as the boycott such stupidity as this Windows 10 move will bring

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Woman caught on CCTV performing drunken BJ blew right to privacy

Bob Vistakin
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If the piss touched a live wire and they got fried

Your taxes would be similarly lavishing up their lifestyles handsomely. And their lawyers.

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Osbo: Choose a f*cking IoT fridge. Choose spirit-crushing driverless cars

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: So, I need to drink 100 pints to save a pound?

You know where you are with Gideon Osborne, because Gideon is a straight talking man of the people everyone can relate to - and all the hard working blokes down the pub know Gideon is one of them, with nothing to hide.

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Siri, you're fired: Microsoft Cortana's elbows into iOS, Android

Bob Vistakin
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Angel

Re: Yet to see

Yes, when driving. The car stereo itself is paired via a bluetooth mike built into the dash, and the audio routed to the speakers. It never misses a beat. Very impressive and natural. With the handset docked it's also permanently being charged. Granted, your'e asking about regular use in public, which I'll admit I ain't done either, but the setup I described is Star Trek cool indeed.

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$17,000 Apple Watch: Pointless bling, right? HA! You're WRONG

Bob Vistakin
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News from an insider

Explains it all.

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iTunes snafu: DNS fail borked Apple's app & iTunes stores for 10 HOURS

Bob Vistakin
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As usual, with Apple you pay more and get less

Tut tut tut.

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HAPPY 20th Birthday MICROSOFT BOB

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Re: Bubba

Alas cousin Bubba darn well done n drowned himself in a barrel o moonshine a few summers back.

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Microsoft chucks patent sueball at Kyocera over Android phones

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Yawn...

"Microsodt"?

Pronounced "Micro sod it"?

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Google promises proper patch preparation after new cloud outage

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Sigh. No-one can get the cloud right.

Yet we're all being pushed inexorably towards it.

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FREAKing hell: ALL Windows versions vulnerable to SSL snoop

Bob Vistakin
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So quality browsers are ok - it's just IE that's affected?

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Samsung-Microsoft deal will bundle Office 365 with Android Knox

Bob Vistakin
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Crap no-one wants HAS to be forced down their throats this way - Android has 85% market share, ios 11% and the dregs have to scrabble about for the rest. Without this "deal", microsofts mobile software is as relevant to users as their handsets.

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Microsoft to Android OEMs: 'Show me the money'

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: El Reg Exclusive!

When I see one of these mythical "Windows Phones" in the wild I'll be sure to check it out. Trouble is, at just over 2% market share that means I'd have to stare at almost 50 smartphone users before catching sight of one.

You can tell how irrelevant it is by looking at anyone advertising an app - from the sofa pushers on telly during the soap opera breaks to the supermarkets - they invariably just have the Android and iOS logos by the "get our app" tagline.

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: Yes, Lucipher is driving a snowplough down my street

Leopards can't change their spots. Even when their rapidly evaporating own comedy efforts have gone, their Android patent extortion will go down in history as the only meaningful contribution they've ever made to the mobile industry.

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3 spectastic Lumias for price of 1 rival flagship: Microsoft sells biz on cheapie experience

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Excellent pricing

@Mark 85 Steady on now...

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Bradley Horowitz on ailing Google+: Islands in the stream, that is what we are ...

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Facebook is the worlds people directory.

Linked In is the worlds business directory.

Google+ is for everyone else.

Clear now?

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Windows XP's market share grows AGAIN!

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Microsoft bribery scandal in Romania -> no Microsoft licenses anymore in the public sector

Tut tut tutitty tut.

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Acer enters Windows Phone fray with cheap Liquid M220 mobe

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Just as well...

The desperation is strong in this one.

One mans floor noise is anothers market share.

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: Seriously? Still on about apps?

People with bank accounts do look for an app to do their banking on. Seriously. People who buy things from shops like to use that shops app on their phone. Seriously. What little Windows phone had, is actually shrinking. That Serious enough for you?

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FORK ME! Uber hauls GitHub into court to find who hacked database of 50,000 drivers

Bob Vistakin
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Re: How is this github's problem?

Exactly. Get Vint Cerf in whilst you're at it - if it wasn't for him, none of this would have happened.

Memo to Uber: The horse bolted because you left the door open.

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Google to tame Android's Wild Wild West to please suits

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: The biggest problem with Android in the business...

Sadly true.

Oh for the good old days of J2ME.

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MP resigns as security committee chair amid 'cash-for-access' claims

Bob Vistakin
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Re: So there won't be a Lord Straw then?

Others sat out the war safe and sound in jail in Blighty, whilst their fellow nationals risked their lives for them.

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Bob Vistakin
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So there won't be a Lord Straw then?

What a shame. Such a nice guy.

Mind you, his father was a coward, his son a drug pusher and his brother a sex offender. Now his fiddle during the great corruption exposure is all forgotton, it's time he was left alone - after all, what harm has he done to anybody?

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LinkedIn values your privacy at ONE WHOLE LOUSY DOLLAR

Bob Vistakin
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Terminator

Linked In: "Where resumes go to die"

A high profile Google employee said that to me at a conf last year - off the record in a bar - but I thought it fascinating to see what these big data companies thought of each others antics. I somehow managed to resist any smart ass quips about it dodging the tumbleweeds of Google+ on its way there.

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Apple design don Jony Ive: Build-your-own phone is BOLLOCKS

Bob Vistakin
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Re: One size fits all, fits nobody

Here's Steve Jobs saying you'd have to file your fingers down to use a 7 inch device.

Here's an iPad 7, Apples 7 inch iPad.

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Microsoft leaves the Rooms. How will Windows Phone OS users make to do lists?

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Google just ditched GTalk too

Hey you never know, perhaps Skype and Hangouts will become one? Hmm, thought not.

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Interstellar sci-fi WORMS its way into spinning black hole science FACT

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

Can't be right

You'd not ever see the black part that way. The matter is being sucked in all round it in 3 dimensions. If you were anywhere safe in its line of sight all the matter in front of you would obscure your view of the hole itself, in fact probably making it a bright light as it all heats up on its way to oblivion.

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HELP! Windows Phone update 8.1 broke my Lumia

Bob Vistakin
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Megaphone

Re: Just for the record: My iPhone 6+ still working fine

Boy, aren't you the lucky one.

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: Just for the record: My iPhone 6+ still working fine

You mean it's still automatically adjusting itself to the shape of your trousers each time you pocket it?

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BBC bins pricey Windows Media, Audio Factory goes live

Bob Vistakin
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That's a shame.

I love listening to audio through windows media, running ie under vista streamed from azure on leap years.

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Android Patent Dispute: Microsoft, Samsung hug it out

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Woahhh - lemme guess what's next

So Samsungs Android sales start to tank, just as microsoft start thrashing about with their Loonier phones and whining once again about how the next version of windows will solve mankinds problems.

In other words, they really, really need someone else to make the smartphone hardware their garbage can ruin ...

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Microsoft: Even cheapo Lumias to get slimmed down Windows 10

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Does this mean one day they actually might make more money on their own mobile efforts than they extort from the work of others?

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IBM chasing ex-staffers for $20 payments

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

IBM being nasty? Surely not.

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Mad Frankie Maude hangs up his axe

Bob Vistakin
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Re: So what's he achieved exactly?

Jerrycan took first prize in taking the piss during the great corruption exposure by claiming London allowances for a flat he owned yards from his house.

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Turbocharged quad-core Raspberry Pi 2 unleashed, global geekgasm likely

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Competitors dead in the water?

Android ICS has already been ported to the Pi, but as it turned out it just about fit but with no room for apps and clunky performance. Both are addressed handsomely with this new model. Can't comment on how iOS or Windows Mobile works on it since in this IOT crazy world their owners wisely stuck to their closed source model...

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Sorry, admins: Microsoft says NO new Windows Server until 2016

Bob Vistakin
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Windows? As a *server*???

People actually do this? Blimey.

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BITE that APPLE if you want to escape the Android garden, Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

One word: Xiomi

Wherever did the idea Androids fortune relies solely on Samsung come from? Not here.

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Facebook's mobile ad bonanza brought it record returns in 2014

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Re: Bubble coming up for bursting?

It does look like something is about to go boom, big time.

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Spartan on Windows 7? Microsoft is 'watching demand'

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Clippy needs to come back

"Hi! I see you're tying to view a standards compliant webpage any quality browser released in the last 5 years has no trouble with, but you're using instead a microsoft browser. If you insist on doing this, you now have 2 choices - you can either see it quickly, but with totally broken alignment and horribly chosen fonts, or slowly with that the other way round."

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Welcome to Spartan, Microsoft's persuasive argument for... Chrome

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

If it can be used for the sole purpose IE is, that is to download Chrome on a new Windows install, it'll do fine.

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LEAKED: Samsung's iPHONE 6 KILLER... the Samsung Galaxy S6

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Why should Apple be worried?

Obviously because it's pretty much the same as an iPhone 6 but doesn't bend when you use it normally.

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SCREW you, GLASSHOLES! Microsoft unveils HoloLens

Bob Vistakin
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Re: A new term to describe them?

Me toos

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: A new term to describe them?

Massholes

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Microsoft will give away Windows 10 FREE - for ONE year

Bob Vistakin
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Correct Dave. You see, microsoft are so loved they actually need a reason for people to loath them just to get real.

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Windows 10, day ZERO ... Will Nadella be the HERO?

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: Microsoft

Regarding how microsofts mobile "partners" got on in the past, it's amazing to think this was written 4 years ago now.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

On the plus side, I hear shares in this company go up each time a lorry full of their product is delivered to Redmond.

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Pffftt...

Congrats and get this down yer neck lad ----------------------------------------->

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: Apps aren't the problem? Rubbish!

They are wriggling really hard now though.

Lumbered with an appless turkeyphone? There's an ugly rumour they will try to fix that by leeching even more from Android than they already do with their extortion racket. Jeepers, if that isn't recognition their own mobile comedy efforts are over I don't know what is.

Hey, and thanks to the pair of you who actually did write a native windows mobile app but you needn't have bothered, actually.

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