Posts by Bob Vistakin

@Nigel yes, and since they are using software we should ... ahh, your way ahead of me :-)

That leaked email

From: legal@apple.com

To: tim.cook@apple.com

Subject: She wants more

Body:

Tim,

The usual plan isn't working. Advice is to hold back that shareholders dividend a while longer - suggest extra 10% above last time. If she keeps holding out suggest we activate plan B - "replacement", but the fallout might be ugly.

Best

Apple Legal, Cupertino

Not long now until "smartphone" means Android

Let the also rans scrap about for the remaining 15% - it will soon be just irrelevant floor noise. The best of the rest - iOS - just dropped 1.5% to 11.7%, whilst Android gained 5% to hit 84.7%

Re: Well

Talking to your watch is only uncool now because Apple hasn't got one out. Eventually, when enough judges have had their palms greased and they are ready to launch their own copy, everything changes and it will magically become really, really cool to do that.

But ... microsofts cloud offering is just "me too" irrelevant garbage

IrreliGarbage for Windows 8.1.

We're getting there last, and it will be ready just as the rest of the industry moves on, as usual.

Correct.

Re: "Internet Explorer go into a CPU-consuming spin for no apparent reason."

I tried really hard to hold back. I did honest. Its a piece about Surface, after all. I know full well this has been done to death, but there's just no escaping it after this comment. So here we go...

Perhaps this guy, showing off Surface 1, knows why IE causes Surface Pro 3 to act up this way?

Does this fascinating event, being pushed a mere 5 days ago right here on El Reg, make clear how unfit for purpose their "me too" comedy cloud offering is?

Just extend the name

IIIIIEEEEE!

The sound a dying company chucking itself off a cliff makes.

Their ad delivery system here on the Reg certainly isn't stuffed - I find it says it all when, surrounded by microsoft marketing messages telling me how great they are we're constantly reading, err on the same page, how crap they are. Could this be because microsoft put more money into marketing than actual r&d/quality control/product development? You be the judge...

Re: 'Absolutely nothing like'

The inventor of the rounded corner would disagree.

Re: Symbian still beating WinPho?

And always will be.

Re: And here they are!

OMG, you mean such clear, precise and specific gems such as 6947490, "Cellular Radio Communications System" were not in fact invented by microsoft? How about 7440433, "Mobile IP Notification" - surely some well-paid patent attorney advised that one has no prior art whatsoever? Lets not forget 6822664, 7454718 and 7421666, "Browser Navigation for Devices With a Limited Input System", so good it's listed thrice.

In fact I'd better stop right now and El Reg needs to consult its lawyers about this very forum, lest they fall foul of the stunning breakthrough microsoft first presented to the world with US-2010-0082759-A1, "Communications Grouped As Conversations".

The superior Apple user experience in action

The premium charged means their users don't mind them making such gigantic profits off them because the gear they buy is so much better than the rest.

Re: Epic Failure = Increased share price.

"MS can now go to hell and i'm not sure anyone will care."

<Applause!/>

Increasingly these days, "MS can now go to hell and i'm not sure anyone will notice."

As would a bottom 10.

Anyway, just wait until Microsoft launch a smartphone - you'll see who's boss then.

BT did this too

There was this 1 asshole, in Birmingham I think it was, who's full time job was to take up calls *after* customers had cancelled and already been through the same shit you hear on this recording. The impression was given to customers that unless you'd been subjected to his drawn out rantings you hadn't really cancelled. It was you they answered to, you see.

Re: Its Android, so what would it cost without the m$ extortion fee?

Yes, FAT32 is in there, but there are a few more which, when you read them, you can see why they wanted keep secret.

I particularly like 7650431 - "SERVING LOCALLY RELEVANT ADVERTISEMENTS". I wonder who'd have an issue with that stunning innovation?

Re: Wonder how many Moto G handsets

Is this why Microsoft gave up on their garbage mobile OS recently and turned to Android?

You're securing it wrong

There - fixed the customer support message to everyone who falls foul of this.

Ahh, bless 'em

Having only just heard of the smartphone, microsoft see the big players like Google, Apple and Samsung all bringing out wearables and realize they are as usual a decade away from catching up. So here's their quick n dirty "me too" offering they hope no-one will see through...

Re: Errr

Yes, because Apple is never humiliated in public, even when they apologize wrong and are forced to do it again.

Re: Unter

But they've bought those politicians so they can introduce a licensing scam, sorry scheme, and guess who's the only one on the guestlist?

Sure about that date?

Re: ...Aaaaand

Dick Tracy? One mans innovation is another's mere scouring history and then hiring more expensive lawyers.

Re: Microsoft, Bing, Windows 8.1

Microsoft makes a -$5 dollar contribution to every Android handset sold in extortion fees - does that count?

Interesting that the Chinese beat Microsoft

It's almost as if they have a plan.