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* Posts by Bob Vistakin

912 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

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New Microsoft Windows chief 'shocked' by Sinofsky defenestration

Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: I wonder if

Perhaps there is more of a parallel here than people realise, except in Sinofskys case it was the W8 disaster apology letter he refused to sign.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

And so it begins

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude

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Pollster predicts mega UK smart TV sales

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

It's a cut n paste job from the same report 2 years ago

s/3D/Internet

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Apple staff call Taiwanese filmmaker an 'idiot'

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

If he deals with Apple he is an idiot

What the issue here?

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Automatic Facebook couple pages: Nauseating sign of desperation

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: What if . . .

A Mitch Romney type Mormon you mean? They'd need a 1-many entity relationship manager. Then again, they're in San Francisco, so it'd need to be many-many.

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Android and Apple OS shares show mountain MS must climb

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Still, I find those figures *lovely* and 2013 - the year history will come to call "Microsofts year of Hell" - hasn't even started yet.

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Mobile phone sales slump bites Nokia

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Wow

Then Engadget should have been called "a bunch of absolute cretins, since microsoft don't make phones" - their business is more along the lines of wrecking the ones that do, like Sendo and Nokia, and then scarpering with the loot just before the shit hits the fan, like this asshole did, as if he thought they'd be able to fix the shite he showed in the only video of him anyone will remember: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QRWa68MtLc

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Yes, and seeing as we're talking about *all* phones, please add microsofts share. Oh, I see - it won't make any difference, sorry.

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El Reg mulls commentard icon portfolio shake-up

Bob Vistakin
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Go

Android / Apple / Microsoft

Android taking a much bigger bite out of Apple.

A wrinkled old Apple full of maggots

Microsoft - just a broken window with rats leaping out of it will do

Nokia - similar, since it's just a microsoft department now, but make that a sinking ship sailing away from a burning platform..

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Windows 8 security is like a swiss cheese flak jacket - sez AV firm

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Fallapartgate

I coined this phrase in another thread, and it fits what we're seeing here perfectly - microsoft itself, its crappy tablets and of course its unusable software which is as big a joke when it comes to security as its always been.

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Sinofsky OFFSKI: Is Windows 9 now codenamed 'Defenestrate'?

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

Re: Oh dear

"...misquote by the French magazine"

They actually said merde.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

He was on a burning platform

W8 on desktops and handsets is so obviously set to fail that he scarpered before the pubic get wind of how bad it really is, and it's all over the tech press for months. Who knows? He may go to Nokia - their asshole of a leader is now standing on that same burning platform, so kicking them all out and going Android would make him the turnaround hero of the century.

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Brits swallow Google Nexus 4 supply 'in 30 minutes'

Bob Vistakin
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Joke

Drat.

Well, nothing else for it. I'll just have to get one of those bright yellow WP8 models then.

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Windows boss Steve Sinofsky exits Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

If he's responsible for Win8, he's damaged microsoft far more than any mere blogger could, so you get a thumbs up from me for making that crystal clear.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

WTF? I use Bob every day. IE for Bob is hands down the fastest, easiest and most reliable way to surf the net, and IE for Kin the best for mobile bar none. Android users can only weep at the news you never hear of viruses for that handset. Anyway, just because *you* don't like them, doesn't mean everyone doesn't. Why, I was just given a lecture here recently after mentioning WP8 market share when the ms astroturfers told me market share is no measure of quality, quoting the Sun as an example. Unlike the rapidly-ending decades of desktop OS dominance they enjoyed, for some reason.

And it's only going to get better - Microsoft Bob Cloud Enterprise 1.0 (Professional) is due early next year - we'll see who's laughing then!

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Samsung turns screws on Apple, hikes A6 processor price 20%

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: $25 Android pad coming soon...

"Under* estimates, of course.

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Surface sales 'modest' so far, Ballmer modestly admits

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

@AC 11:58 I know here they both went, too. Here's the autotune version for a little variety: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_x9sAyYz-U

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Not surprising

Who'd have thought it - these app less, overpriced tablets running experimental, untested software which come apart at the seams after less than a weeks use aren't doing too well. Still, at least the WP8 sales figures are looking good. Aren't they?

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India gets $25 Android tablet

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Open in action

Would $25 even cover the license fee of any alternative?

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Teen project sparks WORLD-WIDE PEE-POWERED HYPEGASM!

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: beat me to it

Its the second actually, and Steorn were the first when it comes to taking the piss too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steorn

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Microsoft Surface Touch keyboards self-destruct – and more

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Falling apart at the seams?

Fallapartgate has a nice ring to it, and it's great to see this picking up so much press now:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/blog/2012/nov/09/microsoft-surface-cover-flaw

http://news.cnet.com/8301-10805_3-57547549-75/surface-tablets-touch-cover-splits-at-seam-users-gripe/

http://www.zdnet.com/microsoft-admits-surface-keyboard-splitting-problem-7000007189/

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Bob Vistakin
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IT Angle

Re: just pull an apple...

Seems this is exactly what they are doing now with the launch of Microsoft Reality Distortion Field 1.0. See it in action here, where they claim their lower resolution display gives a higher resolution than a, err, higher resolution one:

http://news.cnet.com/8301-10805_3-57534066-75/microsoft-surface-beats-the-ipad-in-display-quality/

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Falling apart at the seams?

Oh, you're talking about their *products* this time.

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Walmart workers filmed playing iPad frisbee

Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

Re: Idiots

There was a similar thing about the Dominos staff picking their noses on pizzas, yet they somehow did a masterful job of erasing that and you can hardly find a mention of it now. I did, though:

http://www.blippitt.com/video-disgusting-dominos-pizza-employee-picks-nose-abuses-food/

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Apple-v-Samsung $1bn iPhone fine: 'Jury foreman was biased'

Bob Vistakin
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Stop

Agreed - if he ignored the judges instructions then by definition this was a mistrial.

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Apple is granted a patent on the rectangle. No, really

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: Can't go on forever

Correct - and it would all be laughable had this nasty combination of corruption and stupidity not just cost Samsung $1bn.

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Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: Can't go on forever

The patent system is preventing evil idea stealers from such innovations as chucking a stick for your dog to fetch back too: http://www.google.com/patents/US6360693

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: It's called a DESIGN patent for a reason...

No need - just refer to its video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ8pQVDyaLo

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Nokia Lumia 920 Windows Phone 8 handset review

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: Notifications

@Kristian Do these "many people in the world" include Microsofts former mobile "partners"?

http://www.asymco.com/2011/02/11/in-memoriam-microsofts-previous-strategic-mobile-partners/

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Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: Spyware

Careful - you're liable to get a lecture on your life's experiences for saying stuff like that round here.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Notifications

No, and the fact they aren't present shows the software is half done as they claim to be coming later. What you get now is this half-assed fail, cynically rushed out in time for Christmas in the bizarre hope someone will not mind being forced to use ee and their comedy tariffs.

It's a prefect example of exactly what Nokia pre-Microsoft would never release in a million years. Nor need to fake crowds outside stores, or fake photos to market it or flood online forums with shills in order to astroturf interest etc.

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

With such a great camera why fake the pictures then?

http://www.gsmarena.com/nokia_lumia_920_sample_images_found_to_be_fake_as_well-news-4769.php

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Apple kicked out of China smartphone top 5 by, er, Yulong and pals

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Even the most brainwashed iSheep can see the pattern now

Better stock up on ammo - there's truckloads more messengers need shooting:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/11/08/canalys_q3_china_apple_sixth_place/

http://gulfnews.com/business/media-marketing/android-now-has-as-many-apps-as-ios-report-1.1100553

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13579_3-57546777-37/bond-guru-predicts-apples-stock-price-will-fall-to-$425/

http://www.indeed.com/jobtrends?q=Android%2Cios&relative=1&relative=1

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Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Even the most brainwashed iSheep can see the pattern now

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2012/nov/07/peak-apple

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Judge denies move to ban ad-skipping DVR

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

See what happens when he loses his inside man

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-19472688

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Apple tries to add Galaxy Note, Jelly Bean to patent slapfest

Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: Pathetic..

@Greg J Preece

I'll take your two words and raise you Widgets and NFC.

And don't forget 4.2's multi user capabilities. The Cupertino photocopiers no doubt started with the usual mad scramble when that was announced and might hit iOS next year - all nice and ready for Apple to sue everyone for it the year after. And they'll once again use the best courts money can buy, natch.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: So much evidence Apple has lost the plot

One more thing:

http://techcrunch.com/2012/11/07/u-s-court-orders-apple-to-pay-368-million-damages-for-facetime-patent-infringement/

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Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Re: Judge Koh won't throw this out...

Tis now but a short leap before kids are taught Apple invented the mobile phone itself. Once that lie is also repeated enough, as these current rounded corner ones are, we'll see some Texan court they bought starting to sue competitors over their "speaking from one hand held device into another remote one" innovation.

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Pathetic..

AA@ 15:33 Well said sir - those who came up with the concept first should jolly well be able to stop anyone copying it forever more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_O_dOMG3oo

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

So much evidence Apple has lost the plot

Look beyond these desperate acts to see form another angle what the actual market thinks, and from the jobs point of view it's certainly thinking different:

http://www.indeed.com/jobtrends?q=Android%2Cios&relative=1&relative=1

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Are you an IT pro? It's no longer safe to bet your career on Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

And the public *still* hasn't really seen Win 8

The shitstorm when it does will be in a whole different league to Vista.

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Google expects Apple to block its not crap iOS maps app

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Siri, I'm a big James Bond fan

Show me a route suited to the car he drove in The Spy Who Loved Me:

http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/33227350355/turn-left-into-the-water

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Accidental discounts land Apple in NZ's Disputes Tribunal

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're disputing it wrong

That is all.

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Windows Phone 8: Exceptional tools, but where are the devs?

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You *must* have Win 8 for development?

That's amazingly stupid, even for them. Now, not only will more Symbian handsets than Microsofts continue to be sold as we just saw in the last quarter, but more fucking Symbian apps will be released for them too.

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Android: Google's baby ate 75% of smartphones in just 4 years

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Beware flying chairs in Redmond

I find the Android unit of currency useful when discussing Microsofts handset sales per quarter.

3.5 million = By Wednesday lunchtime.

http://techcrunch.com/2012/09/05/eric-schmidt-there-are-now-1-3-million-android-device-activations-per-day/

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Ballmer: Windows Phone 8 'WILL ramp quickly', god dammit

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Yup, the Nexus 4 looks awesome

I'm going to get one of those - Awesome price too!

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Windows Phone 8: Everything you need to know at a glance

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Fake enthusiasm

@Drewc I just re-read what I wrote and - yes it came across as horrible. There was supposed to be a joke in there but this one went wrong. Sorry.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Out of the box...

(Taking the unprecedented step of replying to myself)

Speaking of market share, here we see Android 75%, and iOS on 14.9%, so microsoft are welcome to whatever dregs blackberry etc leave them from the remaining 10%:

http://www.mobile-ent.biz/news/read/android-takes-75-per-cent-smartphone-market-share-in-q3/019760

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