Posts by Bob Vistakin
627 posts • joined Saturday 24th December 2011 20:17 GMT
Lets keep this in perspective
As recently as Jan Lumia sales were reported to be a 1.3 million in total: http://goo.gl/2LHWe
Android activations in Apr were running at 850k per day: http://goo.gl/IXh09
Both figures are rising, yet it's not too far a stretch to say right now Android easily activates each week the total number of Lumia phones sold to date. The ratios are getting like the desktop Windows/Linux desktop one, in reverse - it's fantastic poetic justice.
I'd also question how many of these Loser phones are actually, genuinely chosen by neutral end users and not those somehow forced to because of their job, like a journo reviewing it or a corporate bribed to roll them out to all staff etc.
Posted in Nokia still has a patent business
Re: Oh my
Microsoft saying anything other than their involvement with Nokia is to get their patents is a more obvious lie than a tory cast iron guarantee, a labour boom and bust promise and a libdem tuition fee pledge all rolled into one.
You can hear the cackling all the way to Redmond, where Stephen Flop will scurry back to clutching them, once his mission is complete.
Nokia did indeed at one point make toilet paper. Once microsofts rape is complete it will do so again, but this time it will only be issued to shareholders.
Re: Lumia is 'apparently doing well in the USA'???
And the house of Windsor agrees to a DNA test for "Prince" Harry.
Re: Anyone still not developing for Android?
Gets even more interesting when you consider tablets. Murdoch himself said yesterday he expects them to be the dominant medium in 5 years time. Google are about to launch their own - quite rightly too, they've given the manufacturers long enough to get their act together and they've collectively blown it, so its about time they got this by the scruff of the neck and stopped it going even more Apples way. And a quad core 7" running ICS for < $150 will be just the ticket, not to mention the hordes of clones about to flood the market with similar specs now the Chinese ref boards are available (http://goo.gl/Vp388 is one of hundreds "due any time now").
Apple had a short lead with phones, now Android shifts far more, and cheaper, so that war is over. Apple still doesn't care because they make more money from the shrinking niche who buy their kit, just like desktops and laptops. This strategy WILL bite them one day, and probably cause their downfall when it happens since there'll be no coming back.
s/phones/tablets and its the same familiar pattern a 4th time after desktops, laptops and phones.
Re: Copiers
@AC 8:43 Yes, hypocrisy is a terrible thing indeed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYecfV3ubP8
I believe the term for what just happened to you is "owned." :-)
Just as the best phone mankind has ever seen gets announced next week!
Great phones let down by windowlicker-level marketing. Let's hope this was just a blip, come on Sammy you're better than this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ldq2tNLRDwA
Anyway, Apple will be ready with their photocopiers the way they were with voice control (2 years behind) , widgets (3 years behind), pull-down notifications (3 years behind) and NFC (err, still not got that one so its 1 year and counting) and quad core kit (another innovation Apple have yet to, err, innovate; the "new" IPad has a mere 2).
Re: If they really want better search results...
But ... Microsoft’s Bing uses Google search results—and denies it: http://goo.gl/1qsuo
As pure as an innocent virgin
Beautiful, elegant, admired by all, but lost in the woods. Then along came a pack of vicious wolves, led by a shrieking hyena, to rip her to bits and take the cherries from her basket.
If Nokia made an Android handset, they'd be in the running for this
As it is, once again their great hardware ruined by abysmal software rules them out of these big juicy deals, the same way they rendered themselves irrelevant for the military handsets etc.
This is to Windows 9 what Vista was to Windows 7
With the unusablilty dial turned up a thousand times more. Every user is a sucker just beta testing it for the next one, this is so obvious its painful. Just like WP7 in fact.
Re: Plotters
There's a trade union rep currently leading the labour party, but he's doing a shit job so its fortunate they are now irrelevant.
Nokia hired Stephen Elop
That's not worked out too well - did HR approve it?
Re: 12 month licence
Any chance you could give it a flipping break on the leap year thing?
Re: The almost always on solution
Nope. Its fucking hilarious!
The almost always on solution
We saw how leap years are beyond its ability, so I suppose as a prize it's just about worth the cost of entering this competition, but no more, so long as even then you understand you can't use it for anything you have to rely on.
http://tinyurl.com/c7glj3c
Apple users must be more confused than Prince Harry on Fathers Day
Up until their phones have it, the message to their users is "you don't need that". Once its been added, usually a year or two after Android like widgets, voice recognition and pull down notifications, its suddenly a terrific "innovation" Apple invented all on its own. Just watch they hype around NFC when they finally get it, compared to now. Meanwhile, iPhone users must stand in line in these car parks fumbling around for change whilst Android users waltz past because, after all, its all about the user experience.
s/Wrecking/Raping
Its the classic Jack Straw dilemma
When labour were in power he'd stand up in the House of Corruption saying he was all for defence cuts, since that was the party line at the time. Yet he'd go back to his constituency in Blackburn and tell those at the ROF plant (Royal Ordnance - making bombs etc) that they had no need to worry since he's fighting hard to keep their factory open and jobs safe. In the end, as we all found out, he and his party shat on everyone but in this case, as in this article, its kinda no-win - do you put national workers interests first, or fuck 'em and buy foreign to save money?
m$ users sell their soul
Apples toys pale in comparison.
Re: Bah, humbug!
@Dave 125 I do. This, and many other influential tech forums are infested with paid m$ shills. Their primary purpose is to downvote/diss anyone who shows m$ in a bad light. However, the advice given isn't in line with making more money for m$, i.e. just keep buying their new OS's whether they are needed or not, so will similarly be frowned upon my this specialised wing of Ballmers marketing department.
Posted in The iPad 3 would make me so horny...
Re: overpriced?
Top end Android phones like the HTC One X, reviewed today on the Reg, have 4 core CPUs - the "new" iPad merely has 2, and on that point there's talk of the overheating problems being down to that cheapkskate decision since 4 would spread the load more, resulting in each running cooler for the same workload, etc.
Posted in The iPad 3 would make me so horny...
Re: new retina screen makes my existing content look worse
Welcome to the wonderful world of fragmentation. Yes, you all laughed an Androids efforts at solving the same-content-multiple-form-factor problem, but they pretty much have done a good job with a clear future roadmap which does include TVs - and even glasses as we heard this week. Android has had fragmentation solutions from the start, so save for kit a few years old which would have underpowered processing/memory anyway it's ok, and is just getting better. Apple on the other hand are just discovering it - they have to retrofit everything they can now since it's all an afterthought, and, err, sorry but this is only the start - it gets much worse from now on as they too get into different hardware. So who's laughing now?
Re: This lot almost make m$ look good
That's a mighty big list you got there buddy. Does it include knowledge of leap years?
This lot almost make m$ look good
But of course, they still get all the big juicy government contracts despite their incompetence. For some reason. Which no one can fathom. Unless it was done over a secret dinner with Cast Iron, or whichever of the two union reps were acting as PM before him.
Re: Can't knock customer service
Its the buttering up before they direct everyone here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12297569, or port that app over for those who hold it wrong.
Posted in IT urine bandit fired and charged
Re: £700 for a decent chair
They do when you and I buy them to pamper MP's backsides, a full 2 years after the corruption exposure they all got away with scot free: http://goo.gl/zwtgT
Posted in Yahoo! axes! 2,000! workers!
Yippee! Yehhaa! Who! the! fuck! will! notice! anyway!?
So the headless chicken of the internet world loses some flab. Seriously - when will anyone there get a clue?
Re: Smart Fellows
Get them to explain the concept of a leap year to microsoft while they're at it and that's the cloud sorted too!
Wahey!
Let's all let microsoft define all the future html and css standards then. And don't forget, you've always got compatibility mode for when its, err, not.
Re: Personally, I wouldn't purchase hardware from Oracle.
Oracle are to corporate customers what Apple are to consumers. The arrogance they demonstrate from their misplaced belief they can charge twice as much for what has long been just another mee-too offering will be their downfall.
Re: Well, Huey Lewis is stuffed.
This is pretty funny, but don't forget the real joke here - teasing the fanbois about an iPhone5, then releasing a mere software update in the same case and calling it a new phone, then doing exactly the same with the iPad. How long before the users are blamed for holding that wrong each time they burn themselves? Anyway, this is surely the real secret to Apples wealth - by targeting those with lower IQ's, their isheep literally will buy anything they're told to.
Hats off El Reg, nice one. Could have posted a report on the stellar WP7 figures along with Nokias employee satisfaction rating being the highest in the tech business, too. But only today, natch.
Slight difference
Its the newbies with their rounded corner shite who got too big for their own boots by brainwashing their iTards, now getting a healthy bitchslap back to reality when it comes to real innovation. Good on you Nokia, seems there's still some fight in the old girl yet, despite her current predicament regarding the loathsome beast.
Re: Ahh but..
And the reverse for Americans, when the innocent Brits used the phrase "he's just having a quick fag in the back alley".
Re: MS is screwed
So ... it has come to this.
Yet ... we keep getting told how great its app store is
Such contradictory messages. Microsoft: "It's great". Buying public: "Microsoft have a phone out?"
Posted in El Reg Forums FAQ
Metro friendly?
Can you get it to detect Metro and complete the words it cuts off half way through? Shouldn't be a problem - devs are very used to coding lovely little workarounds for ie for the last 15 years.
Re: Who'd have thought it?
Exactly. That article has been up for well over a year. If there was any doubt whatsoever, with all the legal shite m$ constantly throw at the good guys, does anyone seriously think such defamation would have lasted this long? Nah, clearly they've been caught red handed and all the apologist squirming in the world can't change that. Like it says in the second sentence: "However you define copying, the bottom line is, these Bing results came directly from Google." That's all there is to it - except, of course, for all the FUD spreading downvoters on their payroll.
Re: Who'd have thought it?
@AC - New tune? Sure, this is appropriate: http://goo.gl/dZl6
Who'd have thought it?
Android manufacturers maybe, puzzled at why microsoft spends more effort extorting $5 per handset from them than getting its own comedy offerings right: http://goo.gl/1CQE8
Ford customers perhaps, who saw their JD Power customer satisfaction ranking drop from 5th to 23rd because of microsofts MyTouch dash computer garbage: http://goo.gl/t7FPB
Azure users might expect this too, after being left without service due to newbie leap year elementary errors, now being offered compensation (including the British Government): http://goo.gl/u7AUM
And then there are the Bing "users", seeing their searches being conducted by a mere script kiddie style wrapper around Google: http://goo.gl/1qsuo
Sigh. This is starting to feel like shooting fish in a barrel. We mustn't, of course, forget the RDP users wondering who's poking around inside their system every time they use it: http://goo.gl/VT1YP
Still, at least users will take to metro en masse, making everything ok, if it stays up long enough. Won't they?
Re: Windows 8 will shape the future of Microsoft!
"getting into bed"!!!
The word you seek for the Nokia/m$ relationship is RAPE my friend. Very nasty, very brutal and will only end when the victim dies.
Re: Could be worse
Yes - they could base their entire cloud service on some comedy system thrown together by a bunch of newbies yet to encounter the concept of a leap year.
Putting themselves out of their own misery?
This is a good way to go about ending the nightmare of WP7's Android rounding-error level sales, and the imminent car wreck of Windows 8 which will make Vista seem like their golden era of user happiness in comparison. Coding a hole in RDP then telling everyone about it is even dumber than basing your entire Cloud offering on a calendar written by a 5 year old who'd never heard of leap years. Oh, wait...
When he was caught making the obscene calls he said all he wanted to do was make people laugh
We're still here Russell, so any time you're ready.
Posted in Why Windows 8 server is a game-changer
Re: Awesome
Let's hope it knows what day it is too, although the odd half day outage here and there caused by schoolboy programming errors doesn't seem to bother the British Government when choosing its cloud supplier.
Re: @AC
Time to pull up an armchair, crack open a sixpack and enjoy the entertainment this fool is giving everyone by digging his hole ever deeper.
Re: @AC
You're making my point for me - please continue, it's really entertaining. What you're saying is *Microsoft* alone finds date computation "significantly more complex". Linux doesn't. £5 watches don't. All the other posters in this thread show exactly why, too.
Re: @AC
Watching shills squirm and blame everyone but themselves after being caught out red handed is a marvel to behold. Why, its almost as entertaining as seeing them try to deny Microsoft’s Bing uses Google search results—and denies it: http://goo.gl/Bi0JH
