The accompanying video for all this
977 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011
As true as it always has been.
Ahh the psychological method - bountiful pleasures issued at the same time as the unimaginable torture of being forced to watch Sky 24 hours a day - I like your style.
But not MP's natch. They are our betters and its right and proper they serve a tenth of the sentence a pleb would have got for stealing a tenth the amount they did.
Actually it was, and I'm puzzled as to why one rolling off the production line in the usual manner merits a story.
Hurrr hurrr hurr
Me wanna be cooool hurr hur hur
Me want best phone on market hurrrr
Me want big toy bright yellow one with no apps that I don't need to rely on for making calls hurr hurr
Crikey, that's me rumbled.
@dogged knows he is out of arguments so reverts to ad hominem attacks.
Well, brace yourself then - that 5%, even if true, is as good as it gets. Android is currently on 75% and all the big Android players have timed the run up to Christmas to perfection. Apple has just fumbled everything it's possible to fumble, and at the worst possible time for them. Their relative share is falling as it is. With the astonishing quality and price of the Nexus 4, plus the Nexus 7 price cuts if we're speaking generally of Android, what do you think the market share will be after the Christmas sales figures are in? 80% is certain, 85% - 90% not beyond the realms of possibility. So who's left? Not microsoft - they can't give them away. Blackberry claim to have something by next spring.
Game over - the rest can scrap over what Android would consider floor noise.
I am as elusive as the wind, yet as eternal as the truths I speak.
How puzzling no-one wants a NoWin (Nokia Windows) handset. Well, microsoft might have gone all shy and cute when it comes to sales figures but Google sure won't have, and I've a feeling this coming Christmas is going to be very, very special indeed.
Bing? Time to kill two birds with 1 stone, and ruffle a few feathers in the bargain. Seems some folks round here are desperate to rewrite microsofts evil ways out of history. Well, lookie here, its time to bring up the old favourite again and ponder why this article hasn't been taken down or changed - it's the official word from Google after all, and has been up unchanged for fast approaching 2 years.
Now understandably, there's no end of writhing and embarrassment from the microsoft apologists at being caught red handed with such a howler, and they usually reply with shedloads of smart assed reasons why it isn't so, but, as it makes crystal clear in as deep into the article as the second sentence "However you define copying, the bottom line is, these Bing results came directly from Google."
And the most delicious of ironies is that this guy was so high up in Apple he must have had a hand in driving the bullshit rounded corner etc patents - so what happens to him when he leaves? Yup, right on cue:
On the contrary - I hope there are shitloads more like this. The constant drip drip drip of pointlessness is eroding away the last remnants of credibility of the patent system as a whole. one day someone will wake up and bring the whole lot down, pointing to assholes like the ones who brought this as the reason for its demise.
Correct. In the first edition of Bill Gates "The Road Ahead" of 1994 the word "internet" appeared 4 times. Some visionary.
When they merge ChromeOS into Android, probably about 2015, Android 8, codenamed "Apple Crumble".
What's actually happening is more realistic, and hats off to the Reg for keeping their end up. It's been proven this kind of behaviour actively drives customers away, so the last thing Apple want is their desperate bullying being kept in the headlines so much. Notice too the surface area shrinks with every new lawsuit - this time it's only pre-3.0 Android devices. Samsung/Google are no mugs. They know exactly what they needed to do to avoid these gullible courts bending to Apples whim on such pointless trivia. They have made sure a day will come when Apple can't keep squabbling over a bit of the next fucking picture being shown when you scroll, or whatever bollocks they paid the corrupt patent authorities to let them claim to have invented. On that day, Apple will have to innovate for real. The best they'll be able to do is just clone a current Android top end handset - they know it, you know it but most importantly the market knows it.
You've been rumbled, Apple - time to Think Different.
On behalf of microsoft I'd like to extend our grateful thanks to you, one of our valued beta testers. The feedback you provide saves us a fortune in R&D, and so makes us able to spend more on faking the photos it takes, paying people to stand in line pretending they are customers and of course continuing the valuable marketing work of astroturfing blogs and forums.
A Microsoft spokesman today admitted their mobile phone department, Nokia, had indeed made a bright yellow version of their unpopular new WP8 handsets which "was affecting a small number of users and is being investigated as we speak". Microsoft are claiming that none of these have been reported in the wild, and a "small batch" was issued to journalists and reviewers on the strict understanding they would only be used for imaging purposes along with reviews, and no member of the public would ever be put in danger by making contact with one.
Here's Steve Jobs on why, err, Apple will never release a 7" tablet - apparently you'd need to "file your fingers down" to use one, whatever that means. Perhaps he was right, but just omitted the word "successful":
A couple of turkeys - neither the iPhone5 or the iPad mini sold anything like they predicted - and a whole bunch of self inflicted WTF's, such as the maps comedy and their newspaper Samsung "you're apologising wrong" antics make you wonder what's coming next.
Yes, of course. it's that nasty firmwares fault, and it was a coincidence it just went faulty for them, and only them, right at the same time the NoWin (aka loser) Nokia Windows phones appeared.
"For 1% of the marketing budget they could pay for 1000 apps probably."
Or try investing some of the $5 per handset they extorted from the Android manufacturers. But you're right, as usual R&D, quality of the product and customer satisfaction takes a back seat to marketing when it comes to microsofts spending priorities.
Convincing simpletons they need a bright yellow appless phone with an unusable UI, with call quality as reliable as an MP's expense claims, is the business they're now in.
Yeah, i just tried calling you but it went straight to voicemail. Is your phone on?
Nokia call quality has always been legendary. Clearly, something bad has happened to cause this now. Can't think what it could be - any ideas?
Certainly sends out a loud clear message.
Yup, long, slow, drawn out and very, very painful.
But everyone knows deep down microsoft will waste the equivalent of a few dozen schools and hospitals in marketing spend trying, just to see this story repeated right the way through 2013.
Clearly the toilet is needed as a receptacle for the phone once microsoft start putting their software on Nokias low end devices.
As the last stick their toy had to beat this beast with just went down the toilet.
No lessons learned from the maps comedy, then.
Forget it then - the back of an envelope will have to do.
Or was he just faking it?
There's something decidedly odd about their priorities when it comes to R&D spending.
" I simply believe that if Google saw the opportunity to sting MS for $4bn they'd try to get that money regardless of any good faith action on MS's part. That's just business. "
Can you point to an instance where Google has done this, or something similar, before please? It must be someone neutral they have done it to, other than as a defensive move reacting to aggression the other party instigated,, so don't point to the current Motorola spat.
Correct, because it happened in that order.
"The $5 per Android handset they swiped from us set the bar, m'lud. Now we expect a similarly ridiculous figure in return."
Did they stick their fingers in their ears and sing "la la la" after the "consumer preview"?
Once the public, rather than the puppet yes men, use it this is what you get, and there's a shitload more of them about to tsunami the news than the astroturfers:
That used to be true - now they beg work not to use it having seen the massive reduction in productivity it causes.
Its genuinely terrible - a lot worse than my previous tinkering led me to believe, and I don't know how many thousands you'd have to pay *me* to use it, never mind all this "you can get it free now" malarkey. I certainly don't know anyone who wants it. Anyone with any doubts will have them all cleared up by catching a YouTube reaction, there's a few now - try this for starters:
The typical costs of the white goods on sale forced consumers to be savvy. Here's a thought - what would happen if the rest of this gang - Currys, PC World etc all went the same way? Amazon would *have* to open retail stores - probably in the same premises.
Spot on - that's what put me off. They were sold so hard that you couldn't help but look into them properly and realise what a rip off they were. Then you start to wonder if the whole shop was too...
Amazing i the sense that now everyone has a camera in their pocket, in the form of a phone or whatever, you never hear anything like the number of reports you did in the 70's and 80's when, err, we didn't. How savvy of those aliens - just to pick the exact decades when there was no proof other than peoples yarns - to fly all those light years to visit us.
There's a YouTube video of said pile of poo in action:
Helpful Bob to the rescue then - if you haven't seen Windows 8, YouTube will clear things up:
"Is this year the year of the linux desktop........again"
That's 2015. Android 8, which had merged with ChromeOS in Android 7, runs well enough on laptops to be a full on desktop OS. You think I'm joking? Yeah, course, I am, There's no way microsoft would throw out a string of turkeys so bad they end up losing the desktop, all the while watching Android starting to run on tablets with physical keyboards, clearly showing the direction it's moving in. Oh, wait...