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* Posts by Bob Vistakin

889 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

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Microsoft Surface Touch keyboards self-destruct – and more

Bob Vistakin
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IT Angle

Re: just pull an apple...

Seems this is exactly what they are doing now with the launch of Microsoft Reality Distortion Field 1.0. See it in action here, where they claim their lower resolution display gives a higher resolution than a, err, higher resolution one:

http://news.cnet.com/8301-10805_3-57534066-75/microsoft-surface-beats-the-ipad-in-display-quality/

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Falling apart at the seams?

Oh, you're talking about their *products* this time.

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Apple-v-Samsung $1bn iPhone fine: 'Jury foreman was biased'

Bob Vistakin
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Stop

Agreed - if he ignored the judges instructions then by definition this was a mistrial.

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Apple is granted a patent on the rectangle. No, really

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: Can't go on forever

Correct - and it would all be laughable had this nasty combination of corruption and stupidity not just cost Samsung $1bn.

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Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: Can't go on forever

The patent system is preventing evil idea stealers from such innovations as chucking a stick for your dog to fetch back too: http://www.google.com/patents/US6360693

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: It's called a DESIGN patent for a reason...

No need - just refer to its video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ8pQVDyaLo

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Nokia Lumia 920 Windows Phone 8 handset review

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: Notifications

@Kristian Do these "many people in the world" include Microsofts former mobile "partners"?

http://www.asymco.com/2011/02/11/in-memoriam-microsofts-previous-strategic-mobile-partners/

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Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: Spyware

Careful - you're liable to get a lecture on your life's experiences for saying stuff like that round here.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Notifications

No, and the fact they aren't present shows the software is half done as they claim to be coming later. What you get now is this half-assed fail, cynically rushed out in time for Christmas in the bizarre hope someone will not mind being forced to use ee and their comedy tariffs.

It's a prefect example of exactly what Nokia pre-Microsoft would never release in a million years. Nor need to fake crowds outside stores, or fake photos to market it or flood online forums with shills in order to astroturf interest etc.

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

With such a great camera why fake the pictures then?

http://www.gsmarena.com/nokia_lumia_920_sample_images_found_to_be_fake_as_well-news-4769.php

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Apple kicked out of China smartphone top 5 by, er, Yulong and pals

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Even the most brainwashed iSheep can see the pattern now

Better stock up on ammo - there's truckloads more messengers need shooting:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/11/08/canalys_q3_china_apple_sixth_place/

http://gulfnews.com/business/media-marketing/android-now-has-as-many-apps-as-ios-report-1.1100553

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13579_3-57546777-37/bond-guru-predicts-apples-stock-price-will-fall-to-$425/

http://www.indeed.com/jobtrends?q=Android%2Cios&relative=1&relative=1

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Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Even the most brainwashed iSheep can see the pattern now

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2012/nov/07/peak-apple

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Judge denies move to ban ad-skipping DVR

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

See what happens when he loses his inside man

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-19472688

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Apple tries to add Galaxy Note, Jelly Bean to patent slapfest

Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: Pathetic..

@Greg J Preece

I'll take your two words and raise you Widgets and NFC.

And don't forget 4.2's multi user capabilities. The Cupertino photocopiers no doubt started with the usual mad scramble when that was announced and might hit iOS next year - all nice and ready for Apple to sue everyone for it the year after. And they'll once again use the best courts money can buy, natch.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: So much evidence Apple has lost the plot

One more thing:

http://techcrunch.com/2012/11/07/u-s-court-orders-apple-to-pay-368-million-damages-for-facetime-patent-infringement/

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Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Re: Judge Koh won't throw this out...

Tis now but a short leap before kids are taught Apple invented the mobile phone itself. Once that lie is also repeated enough, as these current rounded corner ones are, we'll see some Texan court they bought starting to sue competitors over their "speaking from one hand held device into another remote one" innovation.

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Pathetic..

AA@ 15:33 Well said sir - those who came up with the concept first should jolly well be able to stop anyone copying it forever more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_O_dOMG3oo

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

So much evidence Apple has lost the plot

Look beyond these desperate acts to see form another angle what the actual market thinks, and from the jobs point of view it's certainly thinking different:

http://www.indeed.com/jobtrends?q=Android%2Cios&relative=1&relative=1

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Are you an IT pro? It's no longer safe to bet your career on Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

And the public *still* hasn't really seen Win 8

The shitstorm when it does will be in a whole different league to Vista.

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Google expects Apple to block its not crap iOS maps app

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Siri, I'm a big James Bond fan

Show me a route suited to the car he drove in The Spy Who Loved Me:

http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/33227350355/turn-left-into-the-water

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Accidental discounts land Apple in NZ's Disputes Tribunal

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're disputing it wrong

That is all.

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Windows Phone 8: Exceptional tools, but where are the devs?

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You *must* have Win 8 for development?

That's amazingly stupid, even for them. Now, not only will more Symbian handsets than Microsofts continue to be sold as we just saw in the last quarter, but more fucking Symbian apps will be released for them too.

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Android: Google's baby ate 75% of smartphones in just 4 years

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Beware flying chairs in Redmond

I find the Android unit of currency useful when discussing Microsofts handset sales per quarter.

3.5 million = By Wednesday lunchtime.

http://techcrunch.com/2012/09/05/eric-schmidt-there-are-now-1-3-million-android-device-activations-per-day/

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Ballmer: Windows Phone 8 'WILL ramp quickly', god dammit

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Yup, the Nexus 4 looks awesome

I'm going to get one of those - Awesome price too!

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Windows Phone 8: Everything you need to know at a glance

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Fake enthusiasm

@Drewc I just re-read what I wrote and - yes it came across as horrible. There was supposed to be a joke in there but this one went wrong. Sorry.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Out of the box...

(Taking the unprecedented step of replying to myself)

Speaking of market share, here we see Android 75%, and iOS on 14.9%, so microsoft are welcome to whatever dregs blackberry etc leave them from the remaining 10%:

http://www.mobile-ent.biz/news/read/android-takes-75-per-cent-smartphone-market-share-in-q3/019760

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Out of the box...

Correct.

Market share for both is indistinguishable from floor noise, so if you can't measure it you can't say what the competition level is.

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Microsoft building its own Phone hardware: Not 'If', but 'When'

Bob Vistakin
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Pirate

Re: you could drive the Torrey Canyon through the wriggle room

It's captain claimed to be on a burning platform, but it was a huge lie his true masters had told him to parrot.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Citation provided @dogged

No shit you shitted not, Sherlock.

And its amazing how much that word crops up when discussing anything microsoft.

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Citation provided

Technically, the word for what you just did to those AC microsoft shills is "pwned", and I'll certainly raise my glass to that :-)

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Tetra 3 slower than Intel Core i5

Microsoft shits on its customers then its partners and this is news, how?

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Apple must apologise for its surly apology on its website on Saturday

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Highly respected online forum????

I've always tried my best here to make it so.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Just one more thing

Want to buy an iPhone in mexico? Think different:

http://www.muktware.com/4738/lawsuit-happy-apple-may-not-be-able-sell-iphone-mexico#.UJPZyMUxrBt

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Nobody knows what to call Microsoft's ex-Metro UI

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

TuxLunch

For when the cloud (Google, Linux based) and mobile (Android, Linux based) converge for a snack, its time to check out who's left to laugh loudest.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Microsoft SuicideNote

Since that's how history will record it.

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'We invented Windows 8 Tiles in the 1990s', says firm suing Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

"We couldn't get anyone to like them either"

Correct.

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Asus: we ship a million Google's Nexus 7s monthly

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

That Death Star thing..

The difference being, of course, is they are not alone. Samsung makes the new Nexus 10. After these figures are out, do you think the other manufacturers are going to let the market slip away and do nothing?

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Nokia primes Lumias for Windows Phone 8 push

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Meh - 2010 specs - no thanks.

Perhaps that's why these phones are bright yellow as favoured by simpletons - to wake you up after yawning at their specs?

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Bob Vistakin
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Paris Hilton

"unlikely to be as impressive as the fake footage used in Nokia's advertisements"

Nor greeted as enthusiastically as the fake fanbois rumbled in the queue for surface:

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/technology/2012/10/microsoft-fakes-excitement-its-surface-tablet-launch/58417/

Paris, for even she could spot the obvious pattern here:

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Asus gets paid handsomely for swallowing Google's Jellybean

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: In the other corner is poor old HTC

Who'd have thought it? If only there were some kind of record of how things worked out for anyone who "teamed up" with Microsoft. Oh, wait...

http://www.asymco.com/2011/02/11/in-memoriam-microsofts-previous-strategic-mobile-partners/

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Forstall ousted from Apple after refusing to apologise for Maps

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Guess the fairness of it depends on the situation

"Siri - what's the fastest way out of this place?"

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Forgetting Microsoft: How Steve Ballmer's Surface could win

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Gartner's predictions are meaningless

Speaking of stunning insights regarding the iPhone from a visionary tech guru:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eywi0h_Y5_U&noredirect=1

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Confused

It might be informative, or it might not be. The only thing not in doubt is how fucked microsoft are.

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Google goes ahead, unveils Nexus 4 and 10

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Leapfrogged again

Higher quality at a lower price than all their competition - gosh this sounds like an advert rather than a statement of fact.

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Granny upstages Microsoft, storms stage at Surface launch

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: It gets worse

@AC 14:01 Yes, that shows handsomely microsoft are up to their old tricks again.

They think their new turd has been polished with marketing money just enough so no-one can tell what a stinker it is. As this story shows, it will catch out a few gullibles before word gets out, but at least they back tracked their original evil stance and offer refunds.

With all this "new Windows devices don't run Windows software" confusion, and fewer apps than Babbages mark 1 analytical engine, it looks destined to never trouble the needle of market share in the same way WP8 doesn't.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: It gets worse

The gift that just keeps on giving. And no-one outside the microsoft shill bubble has seen it yet - wait till the real reviews from real users start.

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Judge GIVES APPLE THE FINGER in multitouch iDevice patent case

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Hey, Apple

Think fucking different.

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Apple unveils iPad mini, upgrades its big brother

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Nonexistent Nexus?

Does it come with a file?

This guy said a 7" tablet doesn't work - guess he meant Apple would release one over, err, his dead body.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFAjfUT8wZI

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US patent office prepares to kill off Apple's bounce-back patent

Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

Florian Mueller is to law what Jimmy Saville is to child welfare

WTF do idle journalists keep regurgitating what he spoonfeeds them?

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