* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1013 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Hey, Apple and Google: Stop trying to wolf the whole mobile pie

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

And in a year or two, you'll be seeing iOS supporting multiple users, NFC, wireless charging etc the way Android does today.

We'll also witness the familiar drama of these features going from "not being needed by anyone" whilst not present on the iSheeps favorite toy, to "fantastic innovations" when they do finally appear right up to "Exhibit A, m'lud" as Apple starts trying to wipe out those it copied from, err whoops that should be "takes legal action to protect its innovations".

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Tripe...

The markets think so to:

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/official-apple-just-niche-player-155409478.html

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iPhone 'Do Not Disturb' bug to self-destruct on Monday

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

So who resigned this time?

Is there some "head of scheduling management" top boss who refused to sign a letter of apology?

Will there be a 1 line "sorry" sentence in the British newspapers in 1pt scribble, surrounded by 96pt "Apple are great and can take this piss out of the British legal system all they want ner ner-ne-ner ner" text?

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It's JUST possible, but Apple MIGHT not make an iWatch in 2013

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Maybe

"They should concentrate on putting a retina screen in the mini ipad"

I dunno, watching your movies the minecraft way has a certain kind of retro appeal - all those mario style blocky pixels and gaudy colors certainly do it for the die hard fanbois. Perfection is, after all, anything with an apple logo on it.

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Feeling poor? WHO took all your money? NOT capitalist bastards?

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: This is news?????

There's one for certain claiming that last one was just another a Balls up, but have no fear - we will remember. Could it be the same person admiring another mans fake buttocks whilst wearing a Nazi outfit in this photo? I think there is a worrying pattern here regarding this loathsome individual and his attitude to our fallen. Still, at least he knew how to spend our money when he had the one and only chance he'll ever get.

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Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: This is news?????

This is all bollocks - it's obvious where the gullible publics money has gone. Moats don't clean themselves, you know, and the last time I checked there was no such thing as a free duck houses, cable tv porn or poppies to lay at the remembrance services of those who gave their lives fighting to give our noble, honest and trustworthy MP's the freedoms they now enjoy.

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2012 in tech: Apple up the Cook without a paddle, ARM, slab wars... and MORE

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Microsoft Win 8 - Failware

Here's a helpful Windows surface video for anyone unaware of what all the fuss is about, and the perils that befall those who cross Blamer: Surface presentation epic fail

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Microsoft Win 8 - Failware

Here's a helpful Win 8 video for anyone unaware of what all the fuss is about: Windows 8: The Animated Evaluation

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Chinese court orders Apple to cough £100k to writers for violating copyright

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Peanuts

It is financially, but there are many like me who would just like to add their voice to the good chuckle everyone is having at the fanbois embarrassment - yet another in the avalanche set to grow throughout 2013 as more and more of their desperate patents get overturned.

Chip chip chip till the damn bursts, I reckon. It's a smart move - go back to the original patents one by one to get them struck off, then the subsequent court cases are a no brainer to overturn: Apples worst nightmare, in effect, just at the time it's plumb out of innovation and the courts take a dump on any of their future trivial round corner jokes.

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Ten… top tech cock-ups of 2012

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

@AC 8:56

7. Innocent members of the public who felt like a Chinese take away and ended up nearly drowning: http://goo.gl/8gMYw

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Meh.

@GitMeMyShootinIrons

Apple's very first act - before it had any products - was to copy. It took its name from the Beatles record label, then spent the rest of its existence basically polishing existing tech into a form just enough to fool those who prefer style over substance. This thou-shalt-not-copy hypocrisy was baked into its DNA from the start, and its legal antics are just the obvious extension of this - a smokescreen thrown up to try to disguise this fact. Now they are rumbled, and there is literally NOTHING they can put in any future products that a competitor hasn't done already, that little boy's voice is becoming the roar of the crowd.

Apples' peak coincided with Steve jobs death, but were he around today he'd not have been able to stop the rot.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: bailed

"microsoft should have never bailed them out"

Samsung don't think so - it's the best thing that could have happened to them. Look at their runaway Android market share, and consider what it would have been had Nokia done the smart thing and gone with Android. Now, it would have been almost certainly a 50/50 split between the two. The official reason they didn't? There was "no way" to differentiate handset models if you run with Android, unlike the infinitely customisable WP8, which looks so different across all its various handset models, why, you can hardly tell its WP8 at all.

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Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

And then, just as the great man had proudly walked by to the fawning cries of "ooh' and "aah" from the sycophantic crowd, a small boys' voice was heard by everyone: "but the emperor has no clothes on!"

Read this and think how much iPads ect really fleece the iSheep: Are display devices becoming like light bulbs?

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A year on the run: El Reg tracks 2012’s techno-fugitives

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Competition

Stephen Elop surely? He was Microsofts 8th largest shareholder when Blamer concocted his last-gasp desperate attempt for some kind of relevance in mobile, and set him on his mission to infiltrate Nokia. Clearly doomed to failure from the start, his only success is in dragging Nokia down with them, but he'll naturally be very well compensated when he gets the boot.

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Brazilian-made 'iphone' runs Android 2.3 Gingerbread

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Nice one!

Is it just me, or does it really seem everywhere you look these days more and more people are taking the piss out of Apple?

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US patent office: Nice try Apple, but pinch-to-zoom is NOT a new invention

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Apple=Bastards

Time for Plan C.

Plan A - Copy, then rest on laurels having fleeced the lower IQ segment of the market

Plan B - Sue anyone who, err, you can pay American courts enough to run with your ludicruous "they copied us" claims (extending Plan A)

Plan C - Genuine innovation

In other words they are toast :-)

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Windows Vista woes killed MS Pinball

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Good job no-ones using Win 8 then!

Well done whoever noticed this - you just doubled the Win8 user base. For a while.

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Microsoft releases first Windows OS in an original American language

Bob Vistakin
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Still won't make METRO fly

Come 'ed, wack, why not go all the way and do a scouse one?

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Bob Vistakin
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Thumb Down

Consumer reports say you're best to swerve it, no matter what the language

Another of the imminent torrent of "Windows 8 is shite" reports:

http://www.tomshardware.com/news/Consumer-Reports-Windows-8-Upgrade-Donna-Tapellini-Modern-UI,19878.html

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Samsung grabs 'World's biggest handset-maker' title off Nokia

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

The Microsoft effect

From a mere burning platform, easily fixable, to the fiery pits of hell familiar to all those who deal with them.

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Microsoft to Moto: We'll give you $1m a year for your patents

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Sure, just like these parasites extort $5 per handset from the Android manufacturers.

Well, their balance sheet for 2012 has to show *some* revenue from mobile, after all.

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iPhone 5 launches in China, late and expensive. Chinese say 'meh'

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Why the subtitle?

"Apple's free ride in the media is definitely over"

As it is in the markets - this was today:

"Another Bite Out of Apple’s Stock Price"

http://wallstreetsectorselector.com/2012/12/another-bite-out-of-apples-stock-price/

This was a week ago:

"Apple suffers worst share price fall in four years as $35bn wiped off tech giant"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/mediatechnologyandtelecoms/electronics/9725956/Apple-suffers-worst-share-price-fall-in-four-years-as-35bn-wiped-off-tech-giant.html

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Apple loses iPhone patent lawsuit

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Invalidated due to obviousness?

Don't forget the stunning "turn page" patent, which freed the human race from thousands of years of bewilderment trying to figure out exactly how to use those mystifying pieces of paper bound together as "books".

http://www.theverge.com/2012/11/19/3659382/apple-design-patent-on-virtual-page-turn

And let's not forget their recent amazing innovation, surely at Nobel prize level in its dazzling breakthrough, again enlightening all mankind together by inventing the "leaf" - that's right, at last we have a name for those puzzling little things no-one had thought of before which covered trees.

http://www.techtree.com/content/news/2227/apple-patents-leaf-patenting-rectangle.html

Round corners? Fuck 'em - there's loads more of this hilariously desperate shit coming as Android eats their lunch.

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Google Maps becomes Apple's most popular app

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

How humiliating

Still, the user experience is Apples utmost concern.

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Microsoft's Steve Ballmer named 'most improved tech CEO'

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: "most improved"

I'd look at it more along the lines of improved quantity. When the post Christmas sales figures for WP8 emerge, Redmond will be knee deep in them. Shame he didn't do what he said he would to Eric Schmidt, since it will be all largely down to him and his company :-)

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Microsoft Santa gifts you with 5 critical fixes in Xmas Patch Tuesday

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Bing Desktop

Someone mention Bing and Google in the same sentence? Funny thing is, there's a very interesting story involving those two I drive microsoft apologists mad with every time I bring it up round here. It's extremely embarrassing for them, so naturally they really, really want to airbrush it out of history. Have no fear - we can look forwards to seeing it right through 2013, lest we forget :-)

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Microsoft rolling out Windows Phone 8 update in Europe

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Windows Phone antivirus - specially for you!

"if popularity is a measure of quality then why is "... Windows on most desktops?

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Clippy returns

It looks like you're trying to make a phone call...

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RIM is really in trouble when even Windows Phone 8 looks great

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

They've a chance of being the third mobile platform player if they run Android apps well. Otherwise they've < 12 months before being asset stripped the way microsoft raped nokia ... come to think of it, the beast may well be ready for another round just about then, and it would be a great way for them to try to prolong the inevitable WP8 failure.

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Apple, Samsung patent judge: 'I feel like I'm in Groundhog Day here'

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Re: Samsung need a new legal team

"how Samsungs lawyers haven't managed to get it declared a mistrial yet I don't know."

Apple are using the best court they could buy, in their own backyard, natch.

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Tim Cook’s 'One more thing': Apple TV rumor-stoker

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

See, this is where pissing off Samsung really comes home to roost.

This TV - I hope its doesn't infringe on the "trade dress", "look and feel", "whatever else asshole lawyers come up with" that Samsungs products of the last 15 years have had. In other words,, if it's anything other than a large black rectangular device showing moving pictures with sound, controllable via a remote, then its "I'll trade your piddling billion for ten times that" time.

Then again, Apple will probably once more just use the best court they can buy in Texas to claim TV is in fact their innovation, sue every other manufacturer not matter what their provenance, and bully other countries into banning every other TV but theirs.

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Apple shares take biggest one-day hammering in 4 years

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: If you want a company poised for massive growth

They should make the most hay they can until Win8 SP1.

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Microsoft's anti-Android Twitter campaign draws ire, irony

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Microsoft are doing mobile phone software now?

Well I never. Next you'll be saying they have a search engine of their own, rather than throwing up a script kiddie style wrapper around a real one:

http://googleblog.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/microsofts-bing-uses-google-search.html

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Chinese student fails job interview because of iPhone

Bob Vistakin
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Thumb Up

Thumbs up!

To the article, and this employer.

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Hearts, minds and balls: Microsoft's Windows 8 Surface gamble

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Surface Pro at those prices............

Yes. No FUD against microsoft please. Play fair, like they always do.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

What Intel giveth, Microsoft taketh away

As true as it always has been.

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Prisoner found with phone + charger in anal cavity

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

A photo has emerged of what it did to the body of a well-known practitioner of this, and it's not a pretty sight:

http://goo.gl/PLI10

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: There's really no reason to make life so miserable for those in jail

Ahh the psychological method - bountiful pleasures issued at the same time as the unimaginable torture of being forced to watch Sky 24 hours a day - I like your style.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: There's really no reason to make life so miserable for those in jail

But not MP's natch. They are our betters and its right and proper they serve a tenth of the sentence a pleb would have got for stealing a tenth the amount they did.

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Bob Vistakin
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IT Angle

Actually it was, and I'm puzzled as to why one rolling off the production line in the usual manner merits a story.

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Titsup Windows 8 PayPal payments snare upgraders

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

The accompanying video for all this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg

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Microsoft claims Windows Phone sales up 300%

Bob Vistakin
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Trollface

Re: Fanboi Alerts

Hurrr hurrr hurr

Me wanna be cooool hurr hur hur

Me want best phone on market hurrrr

Me want big toy bright yellow one with no apps that I don't need to rely on for making calls hurr hurr

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Bob Vistakin
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Alert

Crikey, that's me rumbled.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

@dogged knows he is out of arguments so reverts to ad hominem attacks.

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Bob Vistakin
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Megaphone

Well, brace yourself then - that 5%, even if true, is as good as it gets. Android is currently on 75% and all the big Android players have timed the run up to Christmas to perfection. Apple has just fumbled everything it's possible to fumble, and at the worst possible time for them. Their relative share is falling as it is. With the astonishing quality and price of the Nexus 4, plus the Nexus 7 price cuts if we're speaking generally of Android, what do you think the market share will be after the Christmas sales figures are in? 80% is certain, 85% - 90% not beyond the realms of possibility. So who's left? Not microsoft - they can't give them away. Blackberry claim to have something by next spring.

Game over - the rest can scrap over what Android would consider floor noise.

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Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

I am as elusive as the wind, yet as eternal as the truths I speak.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Returns

How puzzling no-one wants a NoWin (Nokia Windows) handset. Well, microsoft might have gone all shy and cute when it comes to sales figures but Google sure won't have, and I've a feeling this coming Christmas is going to be very, very special indeed.

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Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Bing? Time to kill two birds with 1 stone, and ruffle a few feathers in the bargain. Seems some folks round here are desperate to rewrite microsofts evil ways out of history. Well, lookie here, its time to bring up the old favourite again and ponder why this article hasn't been taken down or changed - it's the official word from Google after all, and has been up unchanged for fast approaching 2 years.

http://googleblog.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/microsofts-bing-uses-google-search.html

Now understandably, there's no end of writhing and embarrassment from the microsoft apologists at being caught red handed with such a howler, and they usually reply with shedloads of smart assed reasons why it isn't so, but, as it makes crystal clear in as deep into the article as the second sentence "However you define copying, the bottom line is, these Bing results came directly from Google."

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iPod daddy: Ousted iOS chief Scott Forstall 'got what he deserved'

Bob Vistakin
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Trollface

Re: Bit off topic

And the most delicious of ironies is that this guy was so high up in Apple he must have had a hand in driving the bullshit rounded corner etc patents - so what happens to him when he leaves? Yup, right on cue:

http://honeywell.com/News/Pages/Honeywell-Files-Lawsuit-Alleging-Patent-Infringement-By-NestLabs;Follows-Similar-Litigation-Against-Other-Manufacturers.aspx

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Troll sues Apple for daring to plug headphones into iPhone

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Not gonna win that one

On the contrary - I hope there are shitloads more like this. The constant drip drip drip of pointlessness is eroding away the last remnants of credibility of the patent system as a whole. one day someone will wake up and bring the whole lot down, pointing to assholes like the ones who brought this as the reason for its demise.

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