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* Posts by Bob Vistakin

930 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

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Chinese student fails job interview because of iPhone

Bob Vistakin
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Thumb Up

Thumbs up!

To the article, and this employer.

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Hearts, minds and balls: Microsoft's Windows 8 Surface gamble

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Surface Pro at those prices............

Yes. No FUD against microsoft please. Play fair, like they always do.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

What Intel giveth, Microsoft taketh away

As true as it always has been.

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Prisoner found with phone + charger in anal cavity

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

A photo has emerged of what it did to the body of a well-known practitioner of this, and it's not a pretty sight:

http://goo.gl/PLI10

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: There's really no reason to make life so miserable for those in jail

Ahh the psychological method - bountiful pleasures issued at the same time as the unimaginable torture of being forced to watch Sky 24 hours a day - I like your style.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: There's really no reason to make life so miserable for those in jail

But not MP's natch. They are our betters and its right and proper they serve a tenth of the sentence a pleb would have got for stealing a tenth the amount they did.

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Bob Vistakin
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IT Angle

Actually it was, and I'm puzzled as to why one rolling off the production line in the usual manner merits a story.

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Titsup Windows 8 PayPal payments snare upgraders

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

The accompanying video for all this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg

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Microsoft claims Windows Phone sales up 300%

Bob Vistakin
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Trollface

Re: Fanboi Alerts

Hurrr hurrr hurr

Me wanna be cooool hurr hur hur

Me want best phone on market hurrrr

Me want big toy bright yellow one with no apps that I don't need to rely on for making calls hurr hurr

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Bob Vistakin
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Alert

Crikey, that's me rumbled.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

@dogged knows he is out of arguments so reverts to ad hominem attacks.

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Bob Vistakin
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Megaphone

Well, brace yourself then - that 5%, even if true, is as good as it gets. Android is currently on 75% and all the big Android players have timed the run up to Christmas to perfection. Apple has just fumbled everything it's possible to fumble, and at the worst possible time for them. Their relative share is falling as it is. With the astonishing quality and price of the Nexus 4, plus the Nexus 7 price cuts if we're speaking generally of Android, what do you think the market share will be after the Christmas sales figures are in? 80% is certain, 85% - 90% not beyond the realms of possibility. So who's left? Not microsoft - they can't give them away. Blackberry claim to have something by next spring.

Game over - the rest can scrap over what Android would consider floor noise.

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Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

I am as elusive as the wind, yet as eternal as the truths I speak.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Returns

How puzzling no-one wants a NoWin (Nokia Windows) handset. Well, microsoft might have gone all shy and cute when it comes to sales figures but Google sure won't have, and I've a feeling this coming Christmas is going to be very, very special indeed.

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Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Bing? Time to kill two birds with 1 stone, and ruffle a few feathers in the bargain. Seems some folks round here are desperate to rewrite microsofts evil ways out of history. Well, lookie here, its time to bring up the old favourite again and ponder why this article hasn't been taken down or changed - it's the official word from Google after all, and has been up unchanged for fast approaching 2 years.

http://googleblog.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/microsofts-bing-uses-google-search.html

Now understandably, there's no end of writhing and embarrassment from the microsoft apologists at being caught red handed with such a howler, and they usually reply with shedloads of smart assed reasons why it isn't so, but, as it makes crystal clear in as deep into the article as the second sentence "However you define copying, the bottom line is, these Bing results came directly from Google."

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iPod daddy: Ousted iOS chief Scott Forstall 'got what he deserved'

Bob Vistakin
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Trollface

Re: Bit off topic

And the most delicious of ironies is that this guy was so high up in Apple he must have had a hand in driving the bullshit rounded corner etc patents - so what happens to him when he leaves? Yup, right on cue:

http://honeywell.com/News/Pages/Honeywell-Files-Lawsuit-Alleging-Patent-Infringement-By-NestLabs;Follows-Similar-Litigation-Against-Other-Manufacturers.aspx

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Troll sues Apple for daring to plug headphones into iPhone

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Not gonna win that one

On the contrary - I hope there are shitloads more like this. The constant drip drip drip of pointlessness is eroding away the last remnants of credibility of the patent system as a whole. one day someone will wake up and bring the whole lot down, pointing to assholes like the ones who brought this as the reason for its demise.

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Google plans touchscreen Chromebook for 2013 - report

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: When will Google realise

Correct. In the first edition of Bill Gates "The Road Ahead" of 1994 the word "internet" appeared 4 times. Some visionary.

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: When will Google realise

When they merge ChromeOS into Android, probably about 2015, Android 8, codenamed "Apple Crumble".

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Apple sticks finger in dyke, cuts off Dutch flood of Galaxy S, SII, Ace

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Re: ...not again.

What's actually happening is more realistic, and hats off to the Reg for keeping their end up. It's been proven this kind of behaviour actively drives customers away, so the last thing Apple want is their desperate bullying being kept in the headlines so much. Notice too the surface area shrinks with every new lawsuit - this time it's only pre-3.0 Android devices. Samsung/Google are no mugs. They know exactly what they needed to do to avoid these gullible courts bending to Apples whim on such pointless trivia. They have made sure a day will come when Apple can't keep squabbling over a bit of the next fucking picture being shown when you scroll, or whatever bollocks they paid the corrupt patent authorities to let them claim to have invented. On that day, Apple will have to innovate for real. The best they'll be able to do is just clone a current Android top end handset - they know it, you know it but most importantly the market knows it.

You've been rumbled, Apple - time to Think Different.

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Microsoft 'fesses up to Windows Phone 8 reboot bug

Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: Phew

On behalf of microsoft I'd like to extend our grateful thanks to you, one of our valued beta testers. The feedback you provide saves us a fortune in R&D, and so makes us able to spend more on faking the photos it takes, paying people to stand in line pretending they are customers and of course continuing the valuable marketing work of astroturfing blogs and forums.

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Bob Vistakin
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Windows

Microsoft confess to "bright yellow" WP8 handset

A Microsoft spokesman today admitted their mobile phone department, Nokia, had indeed made a bright yellow version of their unpopular new WP8 handsets which "was affecting a small number of users and is being investigated as we speak". Microsoft are claiming that none of these have been reported in the wild, and a "small batch" was issued to journalists and reviewers on the strict understanding they would only be used for imaging purposes along with reviews, and no member of the public would ever be put in danger by making contact with one.

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Android seven-inchers swipe rug from under Apple

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Clearly Apple like to play comparison games...

Here's Steve Jobs on why, err, Apple will never release a 7" tablet - apparently you'd need to "file your fingers down" to use one, whatever that means. Perhaps he was right, but just omitted the word "successful":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxoAF0Jvhqc

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Exec responsible for Apple iOS map fiasco walks the plank

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Apples slow car crash is fascinating

A couple of turkeys - neither the iPhone5 or the iPad mini sold anything like they predicted - and a whole bunch of self inflicted WTF's, such as the maps comedy and their newspaper Samsung "you're apologising wrong" antics make you wonder what's coming next.

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Optional

Applause!

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Nokia Lumia 820 WinPho 8 review

Bob Vistakin
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Terminator

Re: "On both phones I missed far more calls than usual."

Shant.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: "On both phones I missed far more calls than usual."

Yes, of course. it's that nasty firmwares fault, and it was a coincidence it just went faulty for them, and only them, right at the same time the NoWin (aka loser) Nokia Windows phones appeared.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Apps

"For 1% of the marketing budget they could pay for 1000 apps probably."

Or try investing some of the $5 per handset they extorted from the Android manufacturers. But you're right, as usual R&D, quality of the product and customer satisfaction takes a back seat to marketing when it comes to microsofts spending priorities.

Convincing simpletons they need a bright yellow appless phone with an unusable UI, with call quality as reliable as an MP's expense claims, is the business they're now in.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

"Have I missed something?"

Yeah, i just tried calling you but it went straight to voicemail. Is your phone on?

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Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

"On both phones I missed far more calls than usual."

Nokia call quality has always been legendary. Clearly, something bad has happened to cause this now. Can't think what it could be - any ideas?

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

That bright yellow one

Certainly sends out a loud clear message.

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Ten technology FAILS

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Bob...

Correct.

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Mall lurk man: Apple smashes Microsoft in Black Friday fondle wars

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Remember, you saw it here first

Yup, long, slow, drawn out and very, very painful.

Chuckle.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

There's just no polishing this turd

But everyone knows deep down microsoft will waste the equivalent of a few dozen schools and hospitals in marketing spend trying, just to see this story repeated right the way through 2013.

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Phone with Facebook hardware button lobbed out by Nokia

Bob Vistakin
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Go

Re: Wifi (and toilets)

Clearly the toilet is needed as a receptacle for the phone once microsoft start putting their software on Nokias low end devices.

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Nexus 4 actually has 4G: But only in Canada, and potentially ILLEGAL

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

I hear the collective groan of a million fanbois

As the last stick their toy had to beat this beast with just went down the toilet.

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Apple versus Samsung: everything infringes everything

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

That alternative battery decision, just out of spite...

No lessons learned from the maps comedy, then.

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Application Lifecycle Management: The movers and shakers

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

What a choice - IBM or Microsoft

Forget it then - the back of an envelope will have to do.

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Nokia's imaging chief makes surprise exit

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Did he really leave

Or was he just faking it?

http://www.gsmarena.com/nokia_lumia_920_sample_images_found_to_be_fake_as_well-news-4769.php

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APPLE reveals complete updated blueprints of SPACESHIP JOBS

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

And will it still appear on Apple maps as a car park in Grimsby?

There's something decidedly odd about their priorities when it comes to R&D spending.

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Microsoft-Motorola patent row: Google wants $4 BEELLION a year

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: @h4rm0ny

" I simply believe that if Google saw the opportunity to sting MS for $4bn they'd try to get that money regardless of any good faith action on MS's part. That's just business. "

Can you point to an instance where Google has done this, or something similar, before please? It must be someone neutral they have done it to, other than as a defensive move reacting to aggression the other party instigated,, so don't point to the current Motorola spat.

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Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

Re: Oh I see

Correct, because it happened in that order.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Ain't payback a bitch.

Extortionate?

"The $5 per Android handset they swiped from us set the bar, m'lud. Now we expect a similarly ridiculous figure in return."

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Licensing snafu leaves Windows 8 open to PIRATES

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Been using it today

Did they stick their fingers in their ears and sing "la la la" after the "consumer preview"?

Once the public, rather than the puppet yes men, use it this is what you get, and there's a shitload more of them about to tsunami the news than the astroturfers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-qm3wMsGcA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4VtNLl6Ca4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4boTbv9_nU

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Bob Vistakin
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Thumb Up

Re: Reddit, I think not.

<fx>Applause!</fx>

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: It's part of the plan

That used to be true - now they beg work not to use it having seen the massive reduction in productivity it causes.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Been using it today

Its genuinely terrible - a lot worse than my previous tinkering led me to believe, and I don't know how many thousands you'd have to pay *me* to use it, never mind all this "you can get it free now" malarkey. I certainly don't know anyone who wants it. Anyone with any doubts will have them all cleared up by catching a YouTube reaction, there's a few now - try this for starters:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuJBoq_iC2s

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Why did Comet fail? Hint: It wasn't just the credit insurers

Bob Vistakin
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Meh

They'd become mere showrooms for Amazon

The typical costs of the white goods on sale forced consumers to be savvy. Here's a thought - what would happen if the rest of this gang - Currys, PC World etc all went the same way? Amazon would *have* to open retail stores - probably in the same premises.

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

"consumers stay away .. avoid dogged selling of extended and expensive warranties"

Spot on - that's what put me off. They were sold so hard that you couldn't help but look into them properly and realise what a rip off they were. Then you start to wonder if the whole shop was too...

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BRITISH BIGFOOT ON LOOSE in Tunbridge Wells

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

I find this as amazing as UFO's

Amazing i the sense that now everyone has a camera in their pocket, in the form of a phone or whatever, you never hear anything like the number of reports you did in the 70's and 80's when, err, we didn't. How savvy of those aliens - just to pick the exact decades when there was no proof other than peoples yarns - to fly all those light years to visit us.

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