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* Posts by Bob Vistakin

897 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

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Mall lurk man: Apple smashes Microsoft in Black Friday fondle wars

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

There's just no polishing this turd

But everyone knows deep down microsoft will waste the equivalent of a few dozen schools and hospitals in marketing spend trying, just to see this story repeated right the way through 2013.

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Phone with Facebook hardware button lobbed out by Nokia

Bob Vistakin
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Go

Re: Wifi (and toilets)

Clearly the toilet is needed as a receptacle for the phone once microsoft start putting their software on Nokias low end devices.

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Nexus 4 actually has 4G: But only in Canada, and potentially ILLEGAL

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

I hear the collective groan of a million fanbois

As the last stick their toy had to beat this beast with just went down the toilet.

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Apple versus Samsung: everything infringes everything

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

That alternative battery decision, just out of spite...

No lessons learned from the maps comedy, then.

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Application Lifecycle Management: The movers and shakers

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

What a choice - IBM or Microsoft

Forget it then - the back of an envelope will have to do.

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Nokia's imaging chief makes surprise exit

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Did he really leave

Or was he just faking it?

http://www.gsmarena.com/nokia_lumia_920_sample_images_found_to_be_fake_as_well-news-4769.php

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APPLE reveals complete updated blueprints of SPACESHIP JOBS

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

And will it still appear on Apple maps as a car park in Grimsby?

There's something decidedly odd about their priorities when it comes to R&D spending.

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Microsoft-Motorola patent row: Google wants $4 BEELLION a year

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: @h4rm0ny

" I simply believe that if Google saw the opportunity to sting MS for $4bn they'd try to get that money regardless of any good faith action on MS's part. That's just business. "

Can you point to an instance where Google has done this, or something similar, before please? It must be someone neutral they have done it to, other than as a defensive move reacting to aggression the other party instigated,, so don't point to the current Motorola spat.

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Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

Re: Oh I see

Correct, because it happened in that order.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Ain't payback a bitch.

Extortionate?

"The $5 per Android handset they swiped from us set the bar, m'lud. Now we expect a similarly ridiculous figure in return."

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Licensing snafu leaves Windows 8 open to PIRATES

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Been using it today

Did they stick their fingers in their ears and sing "la la la" after the "consumer preview"?

Once the public, rather than the puppet yes men, use it this is what you get, and there's a shitload more of them about to tsunami the news than the astroturfers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-qm3wMsGcA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4VtNLl6Ca4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4boTbv9_nU

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Bob Vistakin
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Thumb Up

Re: Reddit, I think not.

<fx>Applause!</fx>

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: It's part of the plan

That used to be true - now they beg work not to use it having seen the massive reduction in productivity it causes.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Been using it today

Its genuinely terrible - a lot worse than my previous tinkering led me to believe, and I don't know how many thousands you'd have to pay *me* to use it, never mind all this "you can get it free now" malarkey. I certainly don't know anyone who wants it. Anyone with any doubts will have them all cleared up by catching a YouTube reaction, there's a few now - try this for starters:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuJBoq_iC2s

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Why did Comet fail? Hint: It wasn't just the credit insurers

Bob Vistakin
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Meh

They'd become mere showrooms for Amazon

The typical costs of the white goods on sale forced consumers to be savvy. Here's a thought - what would happen if the rest of this gang - Currys, PC World etc all went the same way? Amazon would *have* to open retail stores - probably in the same premises.

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

"consumers stay away .. avoid dogged selling of extended and expensive warranties"

Spot on - that's what put me off. They were sold so hard that you couldn't help but look into them properly and realise what a rip off they were. Then you start to wonder if the whole shop was too...

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BRITISH BIGFOOT ON LOOSE in Tunbridge Wells

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

I find this as amazing as UFO's

Amazing i the sense that now everyone has a camera in their pocket, in the form of a phone or whatever, you never hear anything like the number of reports you did in the 70's and 80's when, err, we didn't. How savvy of those aliens - just to pick the exact decades when there was no proof other than peoples yarns - to fly all those light years to visit us.

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Microsoft building poo-powered carbon-neutral data center

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

There's a YouTube video of said pile of poo in action:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuJBoq_iC2s

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Oprah Winfrey too late to save Microsoft's Windows 8

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Win 8 = Win

Helpful Bob to the rescue then - if you haven't seen Windows 8, YouTube will clear things up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuJBoq_iC2s

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: You want a troll?

"Is this year the year of the linux desktop........again"

That's 2015. Android 8, which had merged with ChromeOS in Android 7, runs well enough on laptops to be a full on desktop OS. You think I'm joking? Yeah, course, I am, There's no way microsoft would throw out a string of turkeys so bad they end up losing the desktop, all the while watching Android starting to run on tablets with physical keyboards, clearly showing the direction it's moving in. Oh, wait...

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Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: actually quite a good os underneath... - until you try the competition

@dogged

http://www.asymco.com/2011/02/11/in-memoriam-microsofts-previous-strategic-mobile-partners/

http://www.infoworld.com/t/android/microsoft-makes-more-android-windows-smartphones-707

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_Documents

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/06/02/ballmer_linux_is_a_cancer/

Not wasting any more time on this, just go and Google for yourself. Or use some script kiddie style wrapper some losers threw up around it:

http://googleblog.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/microsofts-bing-uses-google-search.html

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

From the BBC website, June 1st 2013:

"It's been 8 months since the disastrous launch of Windows 8, and the long-suffering shareholders have finally had enough. Steve Ballmer the CEO blamed for the companies biggest failure ever, dwarfing even the Vista failure of 2007, has resigned having seen the share price plummet to a third of its value at the start of the year. Not even the hastily constructed "Consumer Desktop" Edition of 3 months ago, where the unfamiliar tiles interface was replaced with the Windows 7 one, plus the return of the start menu, was enough to get any kind of significant sales moving. The dominance of Android on the handset and tablets meant users who had seen and heard all the negative press regarding Windows 8 avoided sales there too, thus compounding the problem. Steve Sinofsky, Head of Android User Experience at Google, said "the writing was on the wall all along. I wish them well, but a significant culture change is needed before any good can emerge now. And they can start by listening to their users."

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Apple's profits fetish could spell its DOOM

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Surprise us all

Thumbs up from me - nice post!

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Huh? To see what Apple are innovating right now, just look at any Android handset. NFC, multi user accounts, widgets, proper notifications, proper multitasking, a framework for apps which actually do scale properly to different form factors rather than fobbing off with letterboxing and err, oh yes, maps. Followed a year later by them suing everyone who dared innovate their innovation first, natch.

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Retailers report slow Windows 8 sales, low demand

Bob Vistakin
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Paris Hilton

My wife, Clippy Metrozune, doesn't rate it much either.

Paris, for we talking of all style, no substance.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

:-)

That is all.

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Design guru: Windows 8 is 'a monster' and 'a tortured soul'

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: .....

Fanboi alert?

The sales figures are starting to arrive, perhaps that will cheer them up: http://techland.time.com/2012/11/19/windows-8-the-seven-roads-not-taken/

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Windows Phone 8 reboot woe causes outpouring of forum misery

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

Re: @ AC @ 12:42 GMT

@ItsNoteMe The FACT that you USE that fucking annoying STYLE of capitalizing RANDOM words in your POST says it ALL, buddy.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Reg Readers these days...

"Microfans"? I though the name given to them had been established since it's just the obvious descriptive term:

Nokia + Windows = NoWins aka Losers

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Sigh.

If only microsoft had invested the $5 per handset they extort from the Android manufacturers into some R&D instead of having to fake queues outside stores, photos it takes and "reviews" from their astroturfers infesting blogs and forums.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Anyone flashed one of these with Android?

The hardware looks decent enough, and it's unlikely to have exactly the same faults in the same places from different manufacturers. Would someone give it a go, just to tell us what we already know please? Well, apart from the bright yellow one which is clearly beyond redemption, no matter if it runs quality software or WP8.

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I, for one, would like to welcome our Android overlord

Bob Vistakin
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Joke

Isn't giving someone an iPhone just another way of saying "get lost" these days?

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Google fine-tuning iOS mapping app for Apple submission

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: You sir have been sucked into Apple's versions of events.

"There's still room for improvement but it's perfectly usable."

http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/33227341418/drives-onto-airport-runway

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Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: This is so funny

"preferring to push the point the Apple products were inferior to the Android product" - what's changed? If Apple allow this, it makes it even more obvious since the users will all avoid the onboard iOS maps.

"Siri, run a shit mapping app please" - up pops iOs maps.

"Siri, run a quality mapping app please" - up pops Google Maps.

Simples.

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Woz: Microsoft's innovation lead 'worries me greatly'

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

The Market agrees

Apple stock plunges again

http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/markets/2012/11/15/apple-stock-falls/1707469/

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New Microsoft Windows chief 'shocked' by Sinofsky defenestration

Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: I wonder if

Perhaps there is more of a parallel here than people realise, except in Sinofskys case it was the W8 disaster apology letter he refused to sign.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

And so it begins

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude

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Pollster predicts mega UK smart TV sales

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

It's a cut n paste job from the same report 2 years ago

s/3D/Internet

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Apple staff call Taiwanese filmmaker an 'idiot'

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

If he deals with Apple he is an idiot

What the issue here?

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Automatic Facebook couple pages: Nauseating sign of desperation

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: What if . . .

A Mitch Romney type Mormon you mean? They'd need a 1-many entity relationship manager. Then again, they're in San Francisco, so it'd need to be many-many.

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Android and Apple OS shares show mountain MS must climb

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Still, I find those figures *lovely* and 2013 - the year history will come to call "Microsofts year of Hell" - hasn't even started yet.

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Mobile phone sales slump bites Nokia

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Wow

Then Engadget should have been called "a bunch of absolute cretins, since microsoft don't make phones" - their business is more along the lines of wrecking the ones that do, like Sendo and Nokia, and then scarpering with the loot just before the shit hits the fan, like this asshole did, as if he thought they'd be able to fix the shite he showed in the only video of him anyone will remember: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QRWa68MtLc

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Yes, and seeing as we're talking about *all* phones, please add microsofts share. Oh, I see - it won't make any difference, sorry.

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El Reg mulls commentard icon portfolio shake-up

Bob Vistakin
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Go

Android / Apple / Microsoft

Android taking a much bigger bite out of Apple.

A wrinkled old Apple full of maggots

Microsoft - just a broken window with rats leaping out of it will do

Nokia - similar, since it's just a microsoft department now, but make that a sinking ship sailing away from a burning platform..

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Windows 8 security is like a swiss cheese flak jacket - sez AV firm

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Fallapartgate

I coined this phrase in another thread, and it fits what we're seeing here perfectly - microsoft itself, its crappy tablets and of course its unusable software which is as big a joke when it comes to security as its always been.

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Sinofsky OFFSKI: Is Windows 9 now codenamed 'Defenestrate'?

Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Oh dear

"...misquote by the French magazine"

They actually said merde.

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Bob Vistakin
Silver badge
Holmes

He was on a burning platform

W8 on desktops and handsets is so obviously set to fail that he scarpered before the pubic get wind of how bad it really is, and it's all over the tech press for months. Who knows? He may go to Nokia - their asshole of a leader is now standing on that same burning platform, so kicking them all out and going Android would make him the turnaround hero of the century.

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Brits swallow Google Nexus 4 supply 'in 30 minutes'

Bob Vistakin
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Joke

Drat.

Well, nothing else for it. I'll just have to get one of those bright yellow WP8 models then.

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Windows boss Steve Sinofsky exits Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

If he's responsible for Win8, he's damaged microsoft far more than any mere blogger could, so you get a thumbs up from me for making that crystal clear.

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