* Posts by Bob Vistakin

948 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

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US patent office: Nice try Apple, but pinch-to-zoom is NOT a new invention

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Apple=Bastards

Time for Plan C.

Plan A - Copy, then rest on laurels having fleeced the lower IQ segment of the market

Plan B - Sue anyone who, err, you can pay American courts enough to run with your ludicruous "they copied us" claims (extending Plan A)

Plan C - Genuine innovation

In other words they are toast :-)

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Windows Vista woes killed MS Pinball

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Good job no-ones using Win 8 then!

Well done whoever noticed this - you just doubled the Win8 user base. For a while.

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Microsoft releases first Windows OS in an original American language

Bob Vistakin
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Still won't make METRO fly

Come 'ed, wack, why not go all the way and do a scouse one?

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Bob Vistakin
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Thumb Down

Consumer reports say you're best to swerve it, no matter what the language

Another of the imminent torrent of "Windows 8 is shite" reports:

http://www.tomshardware.com/news/Consumer-Reports-Windows-8-Upgrade-Donna-Tapellini-Modern-UI,19878.html

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Samsung grabs 'World's biggest handset-maker' title off Nokia

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

The Microsoft effect

From a mere burning platform, easily fixable, to the fiery pits of hell familiar to all those who deal with them.

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Microsoft to Moto: We'll give you $1m a year for your patents

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Sure, just like these parasites extort $5 per handset from the Android manufacturers.

Well, their balance sheet for 2012 has to show *some* revenue from mobile, after all.

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iPhone 5 launches in China, late and expensive. Chinese say 'meh'

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Why the subtitle?

"Apple's free ride in the media is definitely over"

As it is in the markets - this was today:

"Another Bite Out of Apple’s Stock Price"

http://wallstreetsectorselector.com/2012/12/another-bite-out-of-apples-stock-price/

This was a week ago:

"Apple suffers worst share price fall in four years as $35bn wiped off tech giant"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/mediatechnologyandtelecoms/electronics/9725956/Apple-suffers-worst-share-price-fall-in-four-years-as-35bn-wiped-off-tech-giant.html

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Apple loses iPhone patent lawsuit

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Invalidated due to obviousness?

Don't forget the stunning "turn page" patent, which freed the human race from thousands of years of bewilderment trying to figure out exactly how to use those mystifying pieces of paper bound together as "books".

http://www.theverge.com/2012/11/19/3659382/apple-design-patent-on-virtual-page-turn

And let's not forget their recent amazing innovation, surely at Nobel prize level in its dazzling breakthrough, again enlightening all mankind together by inventing the "leaf" - that's right, at last we have a name for those puzzling little things no-one had thought of before which covered trees.

http://www.techtree.com/content/news/2227/apple-patents-leaf-patenting-rectangle.html

Round corners? Fuck 'em - there's loads more of this hilariously desperate shit coming as Android eats their lunch.

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Google Maps becomes Apple's most popular app

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

How humiliating

Still, the user experience is Apples utmost concern.

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Microsoft's Steve Ballmer named 'most improved tech CEO'

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: "most improved"

I'd look at it more along the lines of improved quantity. When the post Christmas sales figures for WP8 emerge, Redmond will be knee deep in them. Shame he didn't do what he said he would to Eric Schmidt, since it will be all largely down to him and his company :-)

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Microsoft Santa gifts you with 5 critical fixes in Xmas Patch Tuesday

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Bing Desktop

Someone mention Bing and Google in the same sentence? Funny thing is, there's a very interesting story involving those two I drive microsoft apologists mad with every time I bring it up round here. It's extremely embarrassing for them, so naturally they really, really want to airbrush it out of history. Have no fear - we can look forwards to seeing it right through 2013, lest we forget :-)

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Microsoft rolling out Windows Phone 8 update in Europe

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Windows Phone antivirus - specially for you!

"if popularity is a measure of quality then why is "... Windows on most desktops?

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Clippy returns

It looks like you're trying to make a phone call...

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RIM is really in trouble when even Windows Phone 8 looks great

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

They've a chance of being the third mobile platform player if they run Android apps well. Otherwise they've < 12 months before being asset stripped the way microsoft raped nokia ... come to think of it, the beast may well be ready for another round just about then, and it would be a great way for them to try to prolong the inevitable WP8 failure.

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Apple, Samsung patent judge: 'I feel like I'm in Groundhog Day here'

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Re: Samsung need a new legal team

"how Samsungs lawyers haven't managed to get it declared a mistrial yet I don't know."

Apple are using the best court they could buy, in their own backyard, natch.

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Tim Cook’s 'One more thing': Apple TV rumor-stoker

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

See, this is where pissing off Samsung really comes home to roost.

This TV - I hope its doesn't infringe on the "trade dress", "look and feel", "whatever else asshole lawyers come up with" that Samsungs products of the last 15 years have had. In other words,, if it's anything other than a large black rectangular device showing moving pictures with sound, controllable via a remote, then its "I'll trade your piddling billion for ten times that" time.

Then again, Apple will probably once more just use the best court they can buy in Texas to claim TV is in fact their innovation, sue every other manufacturer not matter what their provenance, and bully other countries into banning every other TV but theirs.

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Apple shares take biggest one-day hammering in 4 years

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: If you want a company poised for massive growth

They should make the most hay they can until Win8 SP1.

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Microsoft's anti-Android Twitter campaign draws ire, irony

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Microsoft are doing mobile phone software now?

Well I never. Next you'll be saying they have a search engine of their own, rather than throwing up a script kiddie style wrapper around a real one:

http://googleblog.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/microsofts-bing-uses-google-search.html

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Chinese student fails job interview because of iPhone

Bob Vistakin
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Thumb Up

Thumbs up!

To the article, and this employer.

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Hearts, minds and balls: Microsoft's Windows 8 Surface gamble

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Surface Pro at those prices............

Yes. No FUD against microsoft please. Play fair, like they always do.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

What Intel giveth, Microsoft taketh away

As true as it always has been.

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Prisoner found with phone + charger in anal cavity

Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

A photo has emerged of what it did to the body of a well-known practitioner of this, and it's not a pretty sight:

http://goo.gl/PLI10

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: There's really no reason to make life so miserable for those in jail

Ahh the psychological method - bountiful pleasures issued at the same time as the unimaginable torture of being forced to watch Sky 24 hours a day - I like your style.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: There's really no reason to make life so miserable for those in jail

But not MP's natch. They are our betters and its right and proper they serve a tenth of the sentence a pleb would have got for stealing a tenth the amount they did.

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Bob Vistakin
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IT Angle

Actually it was, and I'm puzzled as to why one rolling off the production line in the usual manner merits a story.

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Titsup Windows 8 PayPal payments snare upgraders

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

The accompanying video for all this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg

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Microsoft claims Windows Phone sales up 300%

Bob Vistakin
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Trollface

Re: Fanboi Alerts

Hurrr hurrr hurr

Me wanna be cooool hurr hur hur

Me want best phone on market hurrrr

Me want big toy bright yellow one with no apps that I don't need to rely on for making calls hurr hurr

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Bob Vistakin
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Alert

Crikey, that's me rumbled.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

@dogged knows he is out of arguments so reverts to ad hominem attacks.

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Bob Vistakin
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Megaphone

Well, brace yourself then - that 5%, even if true, is as good as it gets. Android is currently on 75% and all the big Android players have timed the run up to Christmas to perfection. Apple has just fumbled everything it's possible to fumble, and at the worst possible time for them. Their relative share is falling as it is. With the astonishing quality and price of the Nexus 4, plus the Nexus 7 price cuts if we're speaking generally of Android, what do you think the market share will be after the Christmas sales figures are in? 80% is certain, 85% - 90% not beyond the realms of possibility. So who's left? Not microsoft - they can't give them away. Blackberry claim to have something by next spring.

Game over - the rest can scrap over what Android would consider floor noise.

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Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

I am as elusive as the wind, yet as eternal as the truths I speak.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Returns

How puzzling no-one wants a NoWin (Nokia Windows) handset. Well, microsoft might have gone all shy and cute when it comes to sales figures but Google sure won't have, and I've a feeling this coming Christmas is going to be very, very special indeed.

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Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Bing? Time to kill two birds with 1 stone, and ruffle a few feathers in the bargain. Seems some folks round here are desperate to rewrite microsofts evil ways out of history. Well, lookie here, its time to bring up the old favourite again and ponder why this article hasn't been taken down or changed - it's the official word from Google after all, and has been up unchanged for fast approaching 2 years.

http://googleblog.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/microsofts-bing-uses-google-search.html

Now understandably, there's no end of writhing and embarrassment from the microsoft apologists at being caught red handed with such a howler, and they usually reply with shedloads of smart assed reasons why it isn't so, but, as it makes crystal clear in as deep into the article as the second sentence "However you define copying, the bottom line is, these Bing results came directly from Google."

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iPod daddy: Ousted iOS chief Scott Forstall 'got what he deserved'

Bob Vistakin
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Trollface

Re: Bit off topic

And the most delicious of ironies is that this guy was so high up in Apple he must have had a hand in driving the bullshit rounded corner etc patents - so what happens to him when he leaves? Yup, right on cue:

http://honeywell.com/News/Pages/Honeywell-Files-Lawsuit-Alleging-Patent-Infringement-By-NestLabs;Follows-Similar-Litigation-Against-Other-Manufacturers.aspx

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Troll sues Apple for daring to plug headphones into iPhone

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Not gonna win that one

On the contrary - I hope there are shitloads more like this. The constant drip drip drip of pointlessness is eroding away the last remnants of credibility of the patent system as a whole. one day someone will wake up and bring the whole lot down, pointing to assholes like the ones who brought this as the reason for its demise.

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Google plans touchscreen Chromebook for 2013 - report

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: When will Google realise

Correct. In the first edition of Bill Gates "The Road Ahead" of 1994 the word "internet" appeared 4 times. Some visionary.

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: When will Google realise

When they merge ChromeOS into Android, probably about 2015, Android 8, codenamed "Apple Crumble".

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Apple sticks finger in dyke, cuts off Dutch flood of Galaxy S, SII, Ace

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Re: ...not again.

What's actually happening is more realistic, and hats off to the Reg for keeping their end up. It's been proven this kind of behaviour actively drives customers away, so the last thing Apple want is their desperate bullying being kept in the headlines so much. Notice too the surface area shrinks with every new lawsuit - this time it's only pre-3.0 Android devices. Samsung/Google are no mugs. They know exactly what they needed to do to avoid these gullible courts bending to Apples whim on such pointless trivia. They have made sure a day will come when Apple can't keep squabbling over a bit of the next fucking picture being shown when you scroll, or whatever bollocks they paid the corrupt patent authorities to let them claim to have invented. On that day, Apple will have to innovate for real. The best they'll be able to do is just clone a current Android top end handset - they know it, you know it but most importantly the market knows it.

You've been rumbled, Apple - time to Think Different.

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Microsoft 'fesses up to Windows Phone 8 reboot bug

Bob Vistakin
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Big Brother

Re: Phew

On behalf of microsoft I'd like to extend our grateful thanks to you, one of our valued beta testers. The feedback you provide saves us a fortune in R&D, and so makes us able to spend more on faking the photos it takes, paying people to stand in line pretending they are customers and of course continuing the valuable marketing work of astroturfing blogs and forums.

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Bob Vistakin
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Windows

Microsoft confess to "bright yellow" WP8 handset

A Microsoft spokesman today admitted their mobile phone department, Nokia, had indeed made a bright yellow version of their unpopular new WP8 handsets which "was affecting a small number of users and is being investigated as we speak". Microsoft are claiming that none of these have been reported in the wild, and a "small batch" was issued to journalists and reviewers on the strict understanding they would only be used for imaging purposes along with reviews, and no member of the public would ever be put in danger by making contact with one.

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Android seven-inchers swipe rug from under Apple

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: Clearly Apple like to play comparison games...

Here's Steve Jobs on why, err, Apple will never release a 7" tablet - apparently you'd need to "file your fingers down" to use one, whatever that means. Perhaps he was right, but just omitted the word "successful":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxoAF0Jvhqc

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Exec responsible for Apple iOS map fiasco walks the plank

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Apples slow car crash is fascinating

A couple of turkeys - neither the iPhone5 or the iPad mini sold anything like they predicted - and a whole bunch of self inflicted WTF's, such as the maps comedy and their newspaper Samsung "you're apologising wrong" antics make you wonder what's coming next.

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Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Re: Optional

Applause!

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Nokia Lumia 820 WinPho 8 review

Bob Vistakin
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Terminator

Re: "On both phones I missed far more calls than usual."

Shant.

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: "On both phones I missed far more calls than usual."

Yes, of course. it's that nasty firmwares fault, and it was a coincidence it just went faulty for them, and only them, right at the same time the NoWin (aka loser) Nokia Windows phones appeared.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Apps

"For 1% of the marketing budget they could pay for 1000 apps probably."

Or try investing some of the $5 per handset they extorted from the Android manufacturers. But you're right, as usual R&D, quality of the product and customer satisfaction takes a back seat to marketing when it comes to microsofts spending priorities.

Convincing simpletons they need a bright yellow appless phone with an unusable UI, with call quality as reliable as an MP's expense claims, is the business they're now in.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

"Have I missed something?"

Yeah, i just tried calling you but it went straight to voicemail. Is your phone on?

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Bob Vistakin
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WTF?

"On both phones I missed far more calls than usual."

Nokia call quality has always been legendary. Clearly, something bad has happened to cause this now. Can't think what it could be - any ideas?

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

That bright yellow one

Certainly sends out a loud clear message.

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Ten technology FAILS

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Bob...

Correct.

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