* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1121 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

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Motorola monsters Apple's swipe-to-unlock patent in German court

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Slide to unlock was used in the Pyramids

One day Apple might come up with something original, but it would be going against what Saint Jobs baked into their mindset from the start.

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Apple recalling iPhone 6 Pluses to correct their iSight

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

Re: You're photographing it wrong

@werdsmith You're generalizing it wrong.

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Bob Vistakin
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Unhappy

Re: You're photographing it wrong

@Mike Bell You're getting out of bed in the morning wrong.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're photographing it wrong

More from the gift that just keeps on giving.

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Vodafone UK rocks the bloat with demands for vanilla Android

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Every cloud has a silver lining

"Or it could be because having gone from 100,000 people to fewer than 8,000 staff, Moto doesn’t have any programmers left."

Correct.

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One more thing: Swatch trademarks dead Steve Jobs' catchphrase

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Pish..

Correct - blatantly ripped off Columbo. Nothing Apple ever produced has been original.

It's baked into their mindset. They even took their fucking name from the Beatles record label.

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Yet another Android app security bug: This time 'everything is affected'

Bob Vistakin
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A Corbyn of flaws.

Its heart is in the right place, but ultimately its policies cannot work in the real world and will destroy the very thing it strives to uphold.

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Bob Vistakin
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A schadenfreude of flaws

Coz Android security is a pile of Schmidt.

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Android apps are flooding on to jailbroken Win10 phones

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

There we have it. With Microsoft, its always "The *next* this, the *next* that" which will totally blow the market away.

Always has been, and always will be.

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Bob Vistakin
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Donald Trump dumps on Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Hairstyles to "disguise" baldness: The Elephant in the Room

Ahh, for years the undisputed king has been the Bobby Charlton brushover, but alas the remaining wisps have all fluttered off now leaving this new magnificent combover specimen to Trump them all.

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Botched Google Stagefright fix won't be resolved until September

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: standard Google behaviour, only hearing the echoes

But September?

Marshmallow is out in October!

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Hey, Apple, we’re watching Faulty Tellies. Gonna tell us why?

Bob Vistakin
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Sigh

Cue the inevitable "You're watching it wrong."

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CAUGHT: Lenovo crams unremovable crapware into Windows laptops – by hiding it in the BIOS

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Googles "Don't be evil" motto

Who did they have in mind when they coined this, again?

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FAIL: Windows 10 bulk patch produces INFINITE CRASH LOOP

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Tut tut tut

So much finger waving, so many "told you so" s.

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Boffins: The universe is DOOMED and there's nothing to be done

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

There's a lot of firsts happening in that year of the heat death

Its the year of Linux on the desktop.

Microsoft writes a browser which shows webpages correctly.

XP market share falls below 10%.

A MP submits an honest expenses claim.

Apple comes up with an idea of its own.

Labour win their first election since 2005.

Liverpool win the Premiership title.

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Testing Motorola's Moto G third-gen mobe: Is it still king of the hill?

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

"If you don't need Apps get a Lumia"

Love it! Some refreshing honesty for a change. If only microsoft had used that in their ads...

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Windows 10 wipes your child safety settings if you upgrade from 7 or 8

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Disgracefull!

Microsoft might not care about stopping kids getting into trouble online but it sure as hell wants to know all about it anyway.

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UK.gov issues internal 'ditch Oracle NOW' edict to end pricey addiction

Bob Vistakin
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Thumb Up

Re: No Boats for larry!

Thumbs up from me!

Oracles business practices fucking stink, matched only by the incompetence of HMG procurement. Why they are finally waking up to this is anyones guess, but the faster they are shown the door the better.

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Painfully insecure GDS spaffs £21,000 on online narcissism tool

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

21k to click "search" on the twitter page?

Who commissioned this?

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If you installed Windows 10 and like privacy, you checked the defaults, right? Oh dear

Bob Vistakin
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Scroogled!

So all the whining Microsoft has been doing about Google has been blown away in an almighty hypocritical u turn? Boy, what a surprise.

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Lottery chief resigns as winning combo numbers appear on screen BEFORE being drawn

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Lie Detectors

These prove their worth.

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Nokia sells HERE maps to Audi, Daimler and BMW for €2.8 billion

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

How long before all new cars have gps/satnav as standard?

The only realistic way these all seeing road aware systems can know what other cars are doing is if every one of them constantly phones home. That mean the manufacturers have to build one in at the factory - and agree across the board on a standard. Owning the mapping software is the first step.

There's a full Reg piece in that alone, I'm sure.

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No, Microsoft: Your one-billion Windows 10 goal is just sad ... really sad

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Bears n Woods

In the first edition of Bill Gates 1994 book,"The Road Ahead", the word "internet" appeared 4 times.

Being so late to mobile they can't catch up is nothing new at all - just look at search, cloud, ads etc

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Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'

Bob Vistakin
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Contractors who used Employee Beneficiary Trusts are in HMRC's sights

Bob Vistakin
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Megaphone

Re: Pay your tax like everyone else

Of course you should pay your taxes - you think moats clean themselves? You think duck houses grow on trees? You think the home secretary gets their porn for nothing? You think smug pompous midgets work for free?

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Octogenarian accused of performing sex act with a SHRUBBERY

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Was this a job for special branch?

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Windows 10 in head-on crash with Nvidia drivers as world watches launch

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Update Clash

Apply more!

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LinkedIn users rebel after personal data siphon crimped

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn

And as a special thanks and indication of what we interpret the word "professional" to mean, please accept this free gift.

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Ballmer's billion-dollar blunders: When he gambled Microsoft's money and lost

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Thanks Neil

With that eulogy I can now retire.

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We put Windows 10 on a small fondleslab: STILL not ready, 3 days to go

Bob Vistakin
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And so it begins

First fondleslabs, then Nvidia graphics cards - a very popular choice, I even have them in my rig. But fear not, this Windows 10 autocorrupting (tm) horror won't be coming anywhere near it.

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LinkedIn ices over bountiful executive phishing spot

Bob Vistakin
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Linked in are celebrating

At last someone actually took one of their emails seriously.

Ooops, have to go, I have one just in from them now asking me if I'd like to connect to the schoolfriend of a colleague who once met the brother of a bloke I was on a train withs uncle who he met him at a grass growing conference 20 years ago.

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NASA: 'Closest thing yet to ANOTHER EARTH' - FOUND

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Theres a much more earth like planet right next door

It's about the same age.

It's about the same size.

It orbits the same star and about the same distance.

It's called Venus. Let's go take a stroll round it shall we? According to the same readings we have of this Earth 2.0, it's much more likely to be hospitable.

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Windows 10 on Mobile under the scope: Flaws, confusion, and going nowhere fast

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Another platform burnt to a crisp.

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: I'm depressed now

This'll help. You will need a lot, though.

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Microsoft has RECORD quarter, in a BAD way - Sad Nad slashes phone biz

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Sigh

After Windows 10 flops, perhaps their strategy to repurpose themselves as merely another Android app developer will work out fine, and their monthly Google play store payment will put them back in the black.

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Windows 10 Edge: Standards kinda suck yet better than Chrome?

Bob Vistakin
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Joke

Re: Hmmm

I will miss those great Internet Explorer ads though.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

They should keep IE, but simplify it for its most common use

Get rid of the address bar and everything else except one big button in the middle - "Download Chrome".

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Brit school software biz unchains lawyers after crappy security exposed

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: many "hackers" are ratbags, but.....

Yeah, shoot the messenger - what's the worst that could happen?

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Minister for Fun opens consultation on future of the BBC

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Open up BBC TV to the world

And whatever you do, don't look too closely at how much is spent putting up all those downtrodden managers from darn sarf forced to slum it oop north.

Insiders know full well the turf war since the move just gets fiercer every year, so god knows what it costs in the 3 since that article.

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Hands off, Apple! Irish dev studio sues over alleged iWatch infringement

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Money-Making Opportunity

A few have been thinking along similar lines for a while now.

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: I love it when Apple...

And when they do apologise, they apologise wrong and have to do it again.

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Microsoft to Windows 10 consumers: You'll get updates LIKE IT or NOT

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Don't want updates or want them at convenient times?

And folk criticised java for pausing randomly during garbage collection.

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Microsoft sprints to finish, emits possible Windows 10 RC build

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: So on the 30th...

This Uncle Bob will be swerving whatever ms excrete with all his might.

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Everything I see is Windows 10, says Microsoft's SatNad

Bob Vistakin
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But ... he just said that unlike last week, this week they are in mobile. Who knows what next week will bring, and if they'll be rehiring all the mobile staff they just sacked. Maybe Flop or even Blamer will be back on the scene. Maybe Sinofsky will need to be rehired to demo Windows 10, and once again show how it runs Internet Explorer, with a majestic sweep of his arm.

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Microsoft nixes A-V updates for XP, exposes 180 MEEELLION luddites

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

What *is* the situation with the NHS?

I was in a very large UK hospital recently and walking around could not fail to see every single PC was running XP. It was glaringly obvious this was policy - not one deviation from the dozens I saw, even right down to them all running the default background wallpaper.

There seems to be some special arrangement with ms, but lemme guess who's nose its being paid through.

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Yes! Windows Phone lives: Microsoft to pump the device Kool-Aid

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Doublespeak art its finest.

Hey OEM's, don't look behind the curtain at how we've just abandoned mobile and sacked everyone here who used to work on it, instead pump millions into it yourself - it's a safe bet, you can trust us - when have we ever let you down before?

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Microsoft giving up on phones? Naaahh ... Windows 10 Mobile lumbers toward release

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: An ElReg classic

That's just shocking.

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: Ex-Box One, next up according to financial analysts

What about the hundred they sold in Japan in the second week of June?

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Reset the Spin Dials

Time for a relaunch then - Microsoft Loonier 1.0 sounds great.

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