* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1098 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

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No, Microsoft: Your one-billion Windows 10 goal is just sad ... really sad

Bob Vistakin
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Bears n Woods

In the first edition of Bill Gates 1994 book,"The Road Ahead", the word "internet" appeared 4 times.

Being so late to mobile they can't catch up is nothing new at all - just look at search, cloud, ads etc

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Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'

Bob Vistakin
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Contractors who used Employee Beneficiary Trusts are in HMRC's sights

Bob Vistakin
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Megaphone

Re: Pay your tax like everyone else

Of course you should pay your taxes - you think moats clean themselves? You think duck houses grow on trees? You think the home secretary gets their porn for nothing? You think smug pompous midgets work for free?

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Octogenarian accused of performing sex act with a SHRUBBERY

Bob Vistakin
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Was this a job for special branch?

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Windows 10 in head-on crash with Nvidia drivers as world watches launch

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Update Clash

Apply more!

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LinkedIn users rebel after personal data siphon crimped

Bob Vistakin
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I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn

And as a special thanks and indication of what we interpret the word "professional" to mean, please accept this free gift.

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Ballmer's billion-dollar blunders: When he gambled Microsoft's money and lost

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

Thanks Neil

With that eulogy I can now retire.

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We put Windows 10 on a small fondleslab: STILL not ready, 3 days to go

Bob Vistakin
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And so it begins

First fondleslabs, then Nvidia graphics cards - a very popular choice, I even have them in my rig. But fear not, this Windows 10 autocorrupting (tm) horror won't be coming anywhere near it.

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LinkedIn ices over bountiful executive phishing spot

Bob Vistakin
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Linked in are celebrating

At last someone actually took one of their emails seriously.

Ooops, have to go, I have one just in from them now asking me if I'd like to connect to the schoolfriend of a colleague who once met the brother of a bloke I was on a train withs uncle who he met him at a grass growing conference 20 years ago.

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NASA: 'Closest thing yet to ANOTHER EARTH' - FOUND

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Theres a much more earth like planet right next door

It's about the same age.

It's about the same size.

It orbits the same star and about the same distance.

It's called Venus. Let's go take a stroll round it shall we? According to the same readings we have of this Earth 2.0, it's much more likely to be hospitable.

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Windows 10 on Mobile under the scope: Flaws, confusion, and going nowhere fast

Bob Vistakin
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Another platform burnt to a crisp.

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: I'm depressed now

This'll help. You will need a lot, though.

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Microsoft has RECORD quarter, in a BAD way - Sad Nad slashes phone biz

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Sigh

After Windows 10 flops, perhaps their strategy to repurpose themselves as merely another Android app developer will work out fine, and their monthly Google play store payment will put them back in the black.

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Windows 10 Edge: Standards kinda suck yet better than Chrome?

Bob Vistakin
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Joke

Re: Hmmm

I will miss those great Internet Explorer ads though.

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Bob Vistakin
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Happy

They should keep IE, but simplify it for its most common use

Get rid of the address bar and everything else except one big button in the middle - "Download Chrome".

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Brit school software biz unchains lawyers after crappy security exposed

Bob Vistakin
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Re: many "hackers" are ratbags, but.....

Yeah, shoot the messenger - what's the worst that could happen?

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Minister for Fun opens consultation on future of the BBC

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Open up BBC TV to the world

And whatever you do, don't look too closely at how much is spent putting up all those downtrodden managers from darn sarf forced to slum it oop north.

Insiders know full well the turf war since the move just gets fiercer every year, so god knows what it costs in the 3 since that article.

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Hands off, Apple! Irish dev studio sues over alleged iWatch infringement

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Money-Making Opportunity

A few have been thinking along similar lines for a while now.

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Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Re: I love it when Apple...

And when they do apologise, they apologise wrong and have to do it again.

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Microsoft to Windows 10 consumers: You'll get updates LIKE IT or NOT

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Don't want updates or want them at convenient times?

And folk criticised java for pausing randomly during garbage collection.

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Microsoft sprints to finish, emits possible Windows 10 RC build

Bob Vistakin
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Re: So on the 30th...

This Uncle Bob will be swerving whatever ms excrete with all his might.

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Everything I see is Windows 10, says Microsoft's SatNad

Bob Vistakin
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But ... he just said that unlike last week, this week they are in mobile. Who knows what next week will bring, and if they'll be rehiring all the mobile staff they just sacked. Maybe Flop or even Blamer will be back on the scene. Maybe Sinofsky will need to be rehired to demo Windows 10, and once again show how it runs Internet Explorer, with a majestic sweep of his arm.

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Microsoft nixes A-V updates for XP, exposes 180 MEEELLION luddites

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

What *is* the situation with the NHS?

I was in a very large UK hospital recently and walking around could not fail to see every single PC was running XP. It was glaringly obvious this was policy - not one deviation from the dozens I saw, even right down to them all running the default background wallpaper.

There seems to be some special arrangement with ms, but lemme guess who's nose its being paid through.

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Yes! Windows Phone lives: Microsoft to pump the device Kool-Aid

Bob Vistakin
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Doublespeak art its finest.

Hey OEM's, don't look behind the curtain at how we've just abandoned mobile and sacked everyone here who used to work on it, instead pump millions into it yourself - it's a safe bet, you can trust us - when have we ever let you down before?

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Microsoft giving up on phones? Naaahh ... Windows 10 Mobile lumbers toward release

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: An ElReg classic

That's just shocking.

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: Ex-Box One, next up according to financial analysts

What about the hundred they sold in Japan in the second week of June?

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Bob Vistakin
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Re: Reset the Spin Dials

Time for a relaunch then - Microsoft Loonier 1.0 sounds great.

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SatNad's purple haze could see Lumia 'killed'. Way to go, chief!

Bob Vistakin
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Windows

Re: "I expect Microsoft to kill Lumia, possibly as soon as mid-2016"

How can you kill what is already dead?

And more to the point, why is there no zombie icon?

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Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Re: wow

My cousin, Clippy MetroZune, was talking to Uncle SurfaceLumia about this just the other day.

Pull up a chair folks for the coming shitstorm when Windows 10 fails...

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Bob Vistakin
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Terminator

Re: So Windows phone

And who'll notice?

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Bob Vistakin
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Microsoft issuing FUD as usual

But this is the new microsoft, so the FUD is all about itself.

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Microsoft SLASHES 7,800 bods, BURNS $7.6bn off books in Nokia adjustment

Bob Vistakin
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FAIL

Fuck

It really is looking like this mythical windows phone will be scrapped before I ever see one in the wild! If anyone does come across one, keep it. Museums will be interested, otherwise there will only be the rumours of its existence as we have now.

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We tried using Windows 10 for real work and ... oh, the horror

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Nope

"Microsoft Bob"

Wahay!

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Are you ready? Probably not.

2017: The year of Linux on the desktop, from seeds sown July 29th 2015.

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Microsoft: This Windows 10 build has 'NO significant known issues'

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Jumping to an app starting with a specific letter.

Microsoft - your new windows sounds great, and I'd love to help you with this latest beta due July 29th. When it begins, where do I file bug reports?

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Windows 10 Mobile is shaping up nicely – now Cortana can send emails

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Cortana now has the ability to send emails

Seeing as all the windows mobile users can fit in a phone box its a pretty good bet ms know who they are already.

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Windows 10 is due in one month: Will it be ready?

Bob Vistakin
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Correct. Automatically pushing this beta to end users with no way back is stupid beyond belief. With the loathsome Windows 8.x, it needed someone with at least some tech knowledge to manage the "upgrade". The support problems on even the slightest failure will make the Win8/Vista problems seem like a summer picnic. Think of the skill level of ordinary home users, not Reg readers. Most would be pushed to even tell you what version of Windows they are running.

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Microsoft's magic hurts: Nadella signals 'tough choices' on the way

Bob Vistakin
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Re: End of manufacturing?

Told you so.

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We forget NOTHING, the Beeb thunders at Europe

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: Right to be forgotten option

The BBC sure "forgot" John Lydon told them about Jimmy Saville in 1978.

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Microsoft releases free Office apps for half of all Android phones

Bob Vistakin
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IE Next

Because showing correctly formed webpages just doesn't give that authentic microsoft experience.

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So what are you doing about your legacy MS 16-bit applications?

Bob Vistakin
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Speaking of legacy micosoft crap

After such a noteworthy start, did you know they only sold 100 XBox Ones in the whole of Japan last week?

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Brace yourself, planet Earth, says Nokia CEO – our phones ARE coming back from mid-2016

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Philips

Yeah, and Elop is out of a job too - he'll be given as warm a welcome back as the burnt out platform he just scarpered from.

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BOOM! Stephen Elop shuffled out of Microsoft door

Bob Vistakin
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There's s theory his job was just to stop Nokia launching an Android phone, thus making things easier for Microsoft to launch a mobile OS of their own.

Well, the first part is done so he can fuck off now. We're still waiting for the second.

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Testing Windows 10 on Surface 3: Perfect combo or buggy embuggerance?

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

I almost feel sorry for Microsoft

Windows 8 - no one wants because its too radical

Widows 10 - no one wants because its not radical enough

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LastPass got hacked: Change your master password NOW

Bob Vistakin
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Devil

Re: Security limbo

You may have a point there.

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BlackBerry ponders putting Android on future mobes

Bob Vistakin
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Well, don't forget the beast did once, and it's looking like now windows mobile has failed it will do again.

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Holy SSH-it! Microsoft promises secure logins for Windows PowerShell

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: In remission?

"Hi! I'm SShitty, your personal cute connectivity agent. It looks like you're trying to log in to another computer securely using some brand new key exchange based system we've never heard of before. Would you like me to constantly get in your face while you attempt to do that? "

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Fanbois designing Windows 10 – where's it going to end?

Bob Vistakin
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Re: Design by Comittee!!!

The problem regarding how to show running apps over multiple desktops was solved by XFCE years ago - with multiple monitors too. I'm sure many other Linux desktops too. Jeez, this "it's new to us so must be new to the world" attitude got old back in the W95 days.

And we see this week the beginnings of the eventual forcing of everyone to upgrade. Upgrade they will, but not the way you think.

I never would have thought ms themselves would fight so hard to make next year the year of Linux on the Desktop. Remember that includes Chromebooks...

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Bank: Without software mojo, Android OEMs are doomed to 'implode'

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

"Last week Google announced Google Pay"

It's called Android Pay.

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Apple: Relax, fanbois! We never meant to read your heart rate during wild wrist action

Bob Vistakin
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Re: So .....

You're fapping it wrong.

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