* Posts by Bob Vistakin

949 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

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The Shock of the New: The Register redesign update 4

Bob Vistakin
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IT Angle

Curious - why no Linked In share icon?

I'm sure you've discussed this internally and the outcome is "no", but since I'm involved in making the same decision for various sites I'd be really interested in your reasoning.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Bob Vistakin
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Headmaster

"Affects IE8 + IE9 users only"

So if quality browsers are unaffected what's the problem? You also gonna sort out that scrolling glitch on Netscape 1, and how about the lack of images in Lynx?

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MP caught playing Candy Crush at committee meeting: I'll ‘try’ not to do it again

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Could be worse

This guy is on the side of the pensioners, you know. That's because he'll be one when his party is next in office.

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Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

We even paid for the fucking iPad he did it on

We pay for his time, we pay for his second house ... did we even pay for the app itself? Some enterprising journo should look into his expenses, if we did that would be an even bigger pisstake than this at first appears.

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Apple denied 'App Store' trademark by Australian court

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

It's enough to drive you Round the Corner.

Aussie judge: "Think you can buy the law here like you do in Texas? Think different."

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Fait Acompli: Microsoft gobbles Android email upstart for $200m

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Wtf?

Bacause Microsoft wants apps for a mobile platform with more users than can fit in a phonebox.

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Einstürzende Neubauten's haunting World War I tribute

Bob Vistakin
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Pint

No road drills?

Gosh, seeing that name brought back some memories. In my student days I remember my total inability to distinguish one of their tracks from a bunch of navvies in the street digging up the road again. I recall the rather unusual instrument used on another being a steel bridge being whacked with a large hammer, and it wasn't even in time, thus depriving anyone of the tiniest redeeming benefit of tapping your foot to it.

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Bladerunner sequel might actually be good. Harrison Ford is in it

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

I wonder if it will settle the decades-old Blade Runner riddle - is Deckard a replicant?

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Giving mobile users the applications they want is child's play

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Alternatively

Ok then, well lets just make it no users and getting fewer every day, with whatever variant of garbage microsoft are ruining perfectly good phone hardware with.

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Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Alternatively

Like most real-world companies, just ignore windows mobile seeing as it has no users.

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Azure TITSUP caused by INFINITE LOOP

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

People really run windows as a *server*?

For real? Well I never. And then they are surprised when this keeps happening all the time?

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Microsoft's Azure goes TITSUP PLANET-WIDE AGAIN in cloud FAIL

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Strangely Poetic

Odd .. it's not a leap year so I wonder what trivial little feature a watch you get free with cornflakes beats it on this time?

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The Nokia ENIGMA THING and its SECRET, TERRIBLE purpose

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

It's clearly a burning platform extinguisher

Combined with an asshole detector, which causes any it encounters to leap from it into the fires of hell.

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Nokia's N1 fondleslab's HIDDEN BRILLIANCE: The 'Z Launcher'

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Hey Elop

Hows that fucking burning platform you jumped onto doing?

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Walmart's $99 crap-let will make people hate Windows 8.1 even more

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

When crap hardware meets crap software

You just know Microsoft *has* to be somewhere in the mix.

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Farewell Nokia: First ever 'Microsoft Lumia' set for Tuesday reveal

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

But wait, what's this?..

Having shaken off its trojan is the reverse of this now true, and Nokia is in fact returning to the solid unburning platform it should have jumped to in the first place?

Mods - can we have a Hokey-Cokey icon please?

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All but full-fat MS Office to be had on iPads, Droidenslabben for NOWT

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: "inserting section breaks"

Don't knock Microsoft's tablets - it turns out they can be useful after all.

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REVEALED: Apple fanbois are 'MENTALLY UNSTABLE' - iShop staff

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Be nice to shop workers

This "mentally unstable" condition - is it brought on by too much Thinking Different? Like wanting a phone which keeps its shape under normal use, to throw in a recent example.

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Russians hear Tim Cook is gay, pull dead Steve Jobs' enormous erection

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're erecting it wrong

Can I have one of the new ones which automatically adjusts itself to the shape of your pocket, unlike its competitors which remain boringly stiff and unchanged no matter how rigorously you subject them to normal use?

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Qik as mud: Skype adds self-destructing video messages years too late

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

FTFY

"It would have been interesting to see how the internet had developed had Microsoft been quicker off the mark."

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Steve Jobs makes world a better place FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Bob Vistakin
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Gimp

Re: humpf

And for those who thinks he's joking, here's the evidence.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Yeah, right.

Let's reflect on how Mr Cook has handled the great legacy passed onto him then, shall we? First we had the Apple Maps fiasco, then the Apple apologizing fiasco, quickly followed by the Apple apologizing wrong fiasco, then the Apple U2 fiasco, the Apple iOS update fiasco to be finally topped off by the Apple bendy iPhone fiasco. And it's not over yet - is there an Apple bluetooth fiasco on the way?

Still, you can see why such a premier experience commands such a premier price, and as your typical fanboi would still say after all that: "But its prettier - and mine has the bigger gee bees".

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Microsoft to Samsung: COUGH UP $6.9m in unpaid interest over Android PATENT SPAT

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Bored

But Apple and Samsung have actually contributed to the mobile industry.

Microsofts only meaningful revenue stream by miles is what they leech by extortion.

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Microsoft's nightmare DEEPENS: Windows 8 market share falling fast

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: *

Looks like this asshole was spot on to me.

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Atlas snubbed! Ad blocker says it can kill Facebook's stalker tech

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

This "Facebook" you speak of

It's some kind of website, right? Where people buy things?

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Apple blacklists tech journo following explicit BENDY iPhone vid

Bob Vistakin
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Terminator

Re: Streisand effect

Titter, chuckle, chortle.. It's turning into a fiasco of Microsoft proportions.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Streisand effect

You're reporting it wrong.

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Microsoft WINDOWS 10: Seven ATE Nine. Or Eight did really

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Yaaaaawn

Did I miss something?

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BENDY iPhone 6, you say? Pah, warp claims are bent out of shape: Consumer Reports

Bob Vistakin
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Mushroom

Re: Blogger Fraud, even? @Bob

@thames Thanks for that link - wow, it bends much easier than I'd realised.

I love the way Apples denial machine is going overboard, such as this "only 9 complaints so far" malarkey. The more they do it, the stupider they look when a month or two down the line they have to issue the inevitable recall, as the cumulative effect of normal daily use hits home. Or some crappy support frame for it, the same way bumpers were issued when, dammit, those darn stupid users just kept on holding it wrong.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Blogger Fraud, even?

Aye, that'll be it.

And you know this iOS8 "bricker" update? It was fine when it left Apple towers - the damn networks corrupted the bits as it flew over to the handsets.

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Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week

Bob Vistakin
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Linux

Re: Name not important

"I truly regret that MS don't have a real competitor in this market because I would have bet my house on their competitor gaining huge ground after these recent fiascos."

3-5 years? One word - Android.

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Bendgate backlash: Apple claims warped iPhone 6 Plus damage is 'extremely rare'

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: OK, it's very rare

And guess what else is being blamed for this bending? The Apple logo itself. You just couldn't make this up.

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Yahoo! dumps! thing! that! made! it! Yahoo! and! told! to! bed! AOL!

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Obvious question for anyone outside the US

"Based on our analysis, we believe that a combination of Yahoo and AOL could offer synergies of up to $1 billion by significantly reducing the cost overlaps in their Display advertising businesses as well as synergies in corporate overhead," the letter reads.

Did anyone outside the US even know they had an advertising business like Googles? Ever since I found out, and tried to apply years ago, I was told it was US only. AdSense has had no such qualms. Now colour me naive, but isn't there a remarkable pattern between the time Yahoo has enforced this artificial restriction (i.e. for ever) and the stellar Ad profits Google has enjoyed, contributing to 98% of its revenue?

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While you queued for an iPhone 6, Apple's Cook sold shares worth $35m

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Perhaps he's bent?

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Apple: SO sorry for the iOS 8.0.1 UPDATE BUNGLE HORROR

Bob Vistakin
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Happy

Re: Optional

And as it happens, the new iPhone 6 ad is out now.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Maids a milking

As if "Your're holding it wrong 2.0" isn't enough.

Pay more for the superior Apple user experience. Now that's what I call Thinking fucking Different.

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Apple's new iPhone 6 vulnerable to last year's TouchID fingerprint hack

Bob Vistakin
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Angel

The iPhone may well still have this security flaw

But its users know it sure is prettier than the others. And has the WiFis and the bigger GeeBees.

So there's no real problem at all.

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Report: EE in talks to scoop up 60 Phones 4u stores from troubled High Street retailer

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Still puzzled

Why no-one mentions Life mobile. It wasn't enough for Phones4U to pointlessly stick themselves in between the customer and the carrier, they had to greedily become a carrier themselves as well. Backed by EE, I see - the last of the biggies to give them the elbow.

Am I alone in seeing this as the only possible outcome?

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Want a Tizen phone to build apps for? Now's your chance – provided you don't need it to work

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Sounds like a burning platform - next thing you know, Elop will be trojaned in to vaporize it.

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Lumia rebrand begins: Nokia's new UK web home is Microsoft.com

Bob Vistakin
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Coat

Re: Just wondering...

It's a long running pain point with me here - I want to, but still, and this is seriously in all honesty, haven't seen one in the wild yet. Which is kind of the whole point of my comment at the top of this thread, which seemed to cause a huge whoosh-over-the-head for too many, ahem, "readers".

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Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Re: Finally

Well, at least it sounds like Microsoft are getting closer to launching a smartphone. They are a bit late now though, the market is basically a 2 horse race and one of those has only got 3 legs. I still can't wait to see one. If they advertise it right, it could do ok, but they'd do well to avoid using the word "Windows" or "Microsoft" in whatever they call it due to the terrible negativity the public has with those terms. Just choose a new word entirely, and make sure there's no obvious joke people can make about it - like it sounding Loonier, for example. And for Gods sake use Android - it's clearly the first choice of the masses, so all this reinventing the wheel for it to only turn out all unusable squares would be just plain stupid.

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Microsoft's axeman Nadella fills baskets with 2,100 fresh heads

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Something about garden gnomes, ???, profit

Sigh.

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Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

It took 18,000 employees to remove a start menu

Can we have it back now please?

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Microsoft staff brace for next round of layoffs – expected Thursday

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

They just bought minecraft

It's Nokia 2.0 - buy then sack. Except this time its users making an exit.

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Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water

Bob Vistakin
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Holmes

Lack of competition? A stroll down any high street says otherwise - you can't move for O2/Orange/EE/Voda pop up shops. So why on earth is this news of them cutting out a pointless middleman a surprise again?

Anyway, surely this too means the death of the wretched carphonewhorehouse which can be no bad thing at all.

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Huawei ditches new Windows Phone mobe plans, blames poor sales

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: They can't sell iOS

Microsoft have a mobile OS? Well I never. You'd have thought they'd advertise it, or something.

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Microsoft's rumoured $2.5bn Minecraft gobble expected on Monday

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

It's really popular in schools - look to the Raspberry Pi for that.

Well, it used to be before this announcement.

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Oh noes, fanbois! iPhone 6 Plus shipments 'DELAYED' in the UK

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: £699

Delayed? It's been out for 2 years.

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Would Apple godhead Steve Jobs have HATED the Watch?

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

Re: Except it's not the iWatch is it?

Let's hear Apples design phiosophy from the man himself then: "Good artists copy, great artists steal"

Then sue, if their corners are round.

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Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy

Bob Vistakin
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Facepalm

You're reading it wrong

Switzerland is in trouble.

He means of course, once Apple release the "device for communicating to the user the chronological point in a 24 hour period worn on the wrist" they have "invented", aka patent "1-800-MEETOOWRISTWATCH-CATCHUP", granted 01-Sep-2014, their lawyers will naturally be suing anyone who copied this stunning innovation before them, since as usual they have the best judges money can buy.

And what they have in mind for those with the affront to use round corners on their cheap imitations just doesn't bear thinking about.

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