* Posts by Anonymous Noel Coward

88 posts • joined 21 Dec 2011

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Citizens Advice slams 'unfair' broadband compensation scheme

Anonymous Noel Coward
Devil

"Companies are paid every time a broadband or landline repair or installation is delayed. But customers who bear the brunt of these problems have to fight for compensation from their broadband company – and may not get any."

The group is calling for this disparity to be addressed in The Digital Economy Bill, currently passing through the House of Lords.

MP: "What's next?"

MP: "The Serf want compensation every time their ISP fails in some technical manner."

MP: "All those in favour?"

[silence...]

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100k+ petition: MPs must consider debating Snoopers' Charter again

Anonymous Noel Coward
Big Brother

>MPs must consider debating Snoopers' Charter again

What do you believe this is? A democracy?

The petition will probably suffer a technical mishap, or something that doesn't stop our glorious leaders getting their way.

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What's that, Adobe? A Photoshop for faking voices?

Anonymous Noel Coward
Big Brother

At least it got easier for law enforcement to fake confessions...

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UK prison reform report wants hard-coded no-fly zones in drones to keep them out of jail

Anonymous Noel Coward
Boffin

What about, I don't know, setting up netting over open areas of the prison?

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Samsung patches Galaxy Note 7 to not explode as two-thirds of phones recalled

Anonymous Noel Coward
Coat

I remember seeing an advert on TV for the Galaxy Note 7 a week or so ago, where it says that it can be submerged in water for around 30m and still be usable.

And I remember thinking at the time "Wow, that's useful to know for when it randomly catches fire..."

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Digi minister Matt Hancock: Britain needs go full fibre. And we're not paying for it

Anonymous Noel Coward
Devil

I miss the term "Information Superhighway."

We need to bring it back.

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It's time for humanity to embrace SEX ROBOTS. For, uh, science, of course

Anonymous Noel Coward
Coat

When having sex with a gynoid, remember to use adequate protection, such as a firewall or some kind of anti-virus software. Otherwise, you could wind up with the pitter patter of tiny laptops.

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UK IT consultant subject to insane sex ban order mounts legal challenge

Anonymous Noel Coward
Big Brother

He lost, by the way.

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BBC detector vans are back to spy on your home Wi-Fi – if you can believe it

Anonymous Noel Coward
Boffin

Re: Spy on the screen and loudspeakers

I'm fairly sure Hancock and Kerr have better taste.

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Anonymous Noel Coward
Alien

Re: Is tv worth it anymore?

What was the Star Trek episode? The world needs to know!

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Torrent is a word, and you can't ban words, rules French court

Anonymous Noel Coward
Childcatcher

I don't see "child" on that list...

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Anonymous Noel Coward
Big Brother

Banning words, eh?

I wonder what people would do when they're subjected to a [this word has been banned] of abuse?

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Pokemon Go Directly To Jail if you hunt here, says Oz Justice Dept

Anonymous Noel Coward
Joke

Just out of interest, how deadly are the Pokémon in Australia?

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UK gov says new Home Sec will have powers to ban end-to-end encryption

Anonymous Noel Coward
Boffin

Re: Welcome to Britains' Open Prison.

Oh cool; can I be Snake Plisskin?

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Facebook ‘glitch’ that deleted the Philando Castile shooting vid: It was the police – sources

Anonymous Noel Coward
Boffin

Like that chap a few days ago who was shot in the back

Worst case of suicide the police had ever seen.

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Get ready for mandatory porn site age checks, Brits. You read that right

Anonymous Noel Coward
Coat

No sex please, we're British.

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'Just give me any old date and I'll make it work' ... said the VB script to the coder

Anonymous Noel Coward

Re: Effing 'Merikans

Japanese also do mm/dd/yyyy.

That being said, I do use American dates when naming files, as it helps order them better, rather than having the day order everything in an arbitrary way. E.g. 01.04.2016, 07.12.2016, 16.03.2016...

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French parliament votes to jail tech execs who refuse to decrypt data

Anonymous Noel Coward
Black Helicopters

Re: Seems like good news?

@BebopWeBop:

Yeah, but the British Justice system has this hard-on for abusing power. Either that or they have a quota of how many people they need to jail during the year.

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Microsoft herds biz users to Windows 10 by denying support for Win 7 and 8 on new CPUs

Anonymous Noel Coward
Boffin

I think I'll go back to OS/2.

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Investigatory Powers Bill: A force for good – if done right?

Anonymous Noel Coward

It's in mIRC script. I'm sure someone could do better, though.

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Anonymous Noel Coward

That's the idea, though.

By the end of the year, my ISP should have logged about 300,000 junky visits.

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Hello Barbie controversy re-ignited with insecurity claims

Anonymous Noel Coward
Boffin

Re: Hmm

Chii~

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Brit filmmaker plans 10hr+ Paint Drying epic

Anonymous Noel Coward

Re: porn?

You can thank the Americans and their "morality" for the mosics.

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Chaos at TalkTalk: Data was 'secure', not all encrypted, we took site down, were DDoSed

Anonymous Noel Coward
Facepalm

*sigh*

Don't know how TalkTalk expects me to change my password if they take down the fucking page where I can only change my password...

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'Cops and public bodies BUNGLE snooping powers by spying on 3,000 law-abiding Brits'

Anonymous Noel Coward

Re: But...

I did.

Who'd want to bring children into this authoritarian dictatorship?

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Imprisoned Norwegian mass murderer says PlayStation 2 is 'KILLING HIM'

Anonymous Noel Coward

I have a PlayStation 3, but I've been playing a lot of my PlayStation 2 lately.

Currently trying to do a low level challenge in Final Fantasy IX.

Old games are still the best.

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This tool demands access to YOUR ENTIRE DIGITAL LIFE. Is it from GCHQ? No - it's by IKEA

Anonymous Noel Coward
Trollface

I always knew IKEA (Information Kommunikation Elektronisk Agentur) was a name for a Swedish Governmental Agency.

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Chinese Jade RABBIT SIGHTED ON MOON by NASA probe

Anonymous Noel Coward
Alien

Re: Dilbert

Your job is to create digital pictures of uncharted star systems and deliver them to NASA every... Tuesday.

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Sky rapped over PREMATURE SEXY CONDOM ad

Anonymous Noel Coward
Facepalm

So...

* Complain about a contraception advert during normal hours...

* Then complain about teenage pregnancy rates being so high...

WAY TO GO!

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No anon pr0n for you: BT's network-level 'smut' filters will catch proxy servers too

Anonymous Noel Coward
Big Brother

Re: I'm done

I don't think the government will allow that.

After all, if you're offline, it means you're harder to monitor.

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Anonymous Noel Coward

Re: First they came for the DNS

It honestly wouldn't surprise me if it was Deep Packet Inspection.

What with all the NSA/GCHQ monitoring and all...

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Top comet-watcher pens ISON's emotional obituary

Anonymous Noel Coward
Unhappy

So, wait...

The Guardian said it would be visible for two weeks over December, I'm guessing that's no longer true? :<

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UK.gov's web filtering mission creep: Now it plans to block 'extremist' websites

Anonymous Noel Coward
Big Brother

Vote for another party and you're an extremist!

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PS4 with Black Friday underway: TOUGH, you CAN'T HAVE ONE!

Anonymous Noel Coward
Joke

I was going to buy a PS4...

...but then I felt it would be cheaper to buy a flashing blue light instead.

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Telcos can be forced to turn copyright cop, block websites – EU law man

Anonymous Noel Coward
Big Brother

And we all know this won't stop at copyright infringement...

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Unsupervised Brit kids are meeting STRANGERS from the INTERNET

Anonymous Noel Coward

Re: I prevented my daughter accessing online porn ...

Not to mention that the plumber would do more than your typical, British plumber.

Like fix the sink.

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WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

Anonymous Noel Coward
Childcatcher

Re: No need to ban porn

Pretty sure thinking of the children is illegal.

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PM writes ISPs' web filter ads for them - and it must say 'default on'

Anonymous Noel Coward
Childcatcher

No sex please, we're British.

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Brits: Give us £1m and we'll build a crack ALIEN-HUNTING TEAM

Anonymous Noel Coward
Alien

But if we don't snoop on the Universe then the aliens win!

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AT&T patents P2P content tracking system

Anonymous Noel Coward
Pirate

On the plus side, this is patented by AT&T

So since nobody else will be able to use it, just change from AT&T to a less shitty ISP!

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Voyager 1 'close' to breaking through to DEEP SPACE - boffins

Anonymous Noel Coward
Trollface

Wow...

18.5 billion miles from Earth and we can still get a picture of it from up close!

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US cops make 'first ever' Bitcoin seizure following house raid

Anonymous Noel Coward
Black Helicopters

Sure...

"Drug dealer."

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Offensive, iconoclastic internet trolls will NOT be prosecuted, says DPP

Anonymous Noel Coward
Unhappy

But, but...

Someone countered an argument of mine in a forum with a point I don't agree with, and it really hurt my feelings!

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Google donates £1m to child abuse charity ahead of Whitehall meeting

Anonymous Noel Coward
Trollface

>Internet Watch Foundation

They do a good job.

Remember the time they blocked Wikipedia to protect us from that album cover?

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Cameron: Get those saucy websites off Blighty's public Wi-Fi

Anonymous Noel Coward
Childcatcher

Checkmate!

http://www.redhotpawn.com/

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Huddled immigrant masses face 'British values' quiz

Anonymous Noel Coward
Joke

ROMANES EUNT DOMUS!

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Pope: Catholics, go forth and multiply... your Twitter followers

Anonymous Noel Coward
Coat

Do children even use Twitter?

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Mobes, web filth 'PORNIFYING' our kids, warns top Labour MP

Anonymous Noel Coward
Unhappy

Re: ...let me put on my Dianne Abbot hat...

But, but...

I hate children.

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Buying a petabyte of storage for YOURSELF? First, you'll need a fridge

Anonymous Noel Coward

I read a news article recently (forgot where) which says some boffins have just invented a 1TB flash drive...

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Debenhams cafes ban outré terms like 'espresso' and 'cappuccino'

Anonymous Noel Coward
Trollface

So...

...what're they calling Biscotti?

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