ITIL? It'il end in tears
Tons of paperwork, committees, and change boards. It'll all go swimmingly(!) I'm certain of it.
The CIO invited his managers to a safari by the desert. He lent his four-wheel-drive car and recommended a route through the desert.
After 20 miles of travelling, they got a flat tire and the car got stuck in the middle of a dune.
Just a second after the puncture, the incident manager left the car saying “go, go, go!!! We’re in time!” put a chewing gum on the tyre, got into the car again and said “Solved, let’s go!“. The Change Manager responded “But, it will only last for a few meters.“, But the Incident Manager said “It doesn’t matter! I can put another gum if it fails again.“
Half an hour after running out of chewing gum, the problem manager said. “EUREKA! I know!. There is no more problem! The tire wasn’t designed for the heat, and it melted“. The Incident Manager said “OK. But… how can we get out of this situation?“. “Hey! Don’t put pressure on me! I know the root cause. Now it isn’t a problem, it’s a known error“, the Problem Manager retorted.
The Change Manager said. “I know how to change the wheel. But I can’t“. “Why?” Asked the rest. “Because I can’t contact the owner and I don’t have an approval“, the Change Manager responded.
The Incident Manager ran out of patience, and began to shout at the Release Manager. “Hey, we are all trying to get out of here, and you are not doing anything!“. He answered “I’m doing more than everyone of you. I just finished a RFE so the next version of the tire won’t fail in the future.“
Finally, everyone looked at the Service Level Manager, who said. “OK, OK. Maybe it’s my fault. Well, I’ll pay you a coffee when we return and we’ll be even“