Posts by Don Jefe

Oh, oh! I've got another question.

What if a homosexual worked on the development of, let's say, breakfast cereal. Would that mean you had gotten 'the gay' inside you? What about your kids?!?! Think of the children!!!!!! they will have gotten the gay inside them too!

Hey! Maybe that's it! Homosexuality isn't a naturally occurring variance that just seems to be everywhere because of the incredibly fucking huge number of Humans all connected (probably with wires that have the gay on them). No! Homosexuality is a vast conspiracy by the breakfast cereal people to turn your kids into fruit loops (Ha!).

Holy shit! Fruit Loops are made from (gay) people!!!!!! Why did you leave us Charlton Heston?

Nintendo is an organization, therefore Nintendo 'knows'. I'm not entirely certain what it is they know, but I'm sure they does...

Grammar aside, are you saying that knowing a homosexual worked on the game is your primary purchase factor? If you don't know a homosexual has worked on the game then it's OK? What about a situation where an entirely heterosexual group worked on a game and made it just fabulously gay? Would that be OK?

I'm not sure you have given enough thought to your logic. Put some development time in then reassess your bias. Half assing bias gives a bad name to people with proper, fully developed biases.

Re: Missing the boat.

That's a great idea! But why stop a $2? See how bad they really want it and make it a $99 expansion pack. In truth, a high price would more accurately reflect reality. I'm not being biased, but part of not being in the 'mainstream' are the higher costs and the PITA (Pain In The Ass) Modifier that is an unavoidable part of not jiving 100% with the herd.

Everybody who doesn't match the mythical 'statistical average', in any aspect of their life, is going to have to pay. It's not my fault I'm ridiculously tall, but I have to pay 5x over the price of the same suit for normal height people. Same with neckties, 5x+ for an extra 3/4". Suck it up and pay.

Re: Probably the death knell of the "industry"

The 'number of lines copied' is a spurious argument. There's not a single point of US law, nary a one, that is absolute and does not recognize a gray area. It's kind of neat, the whole fucking system is designed with that in mind. There are even processes for establishing how big that gray area is, on a case by case basis.

The way the IP lawyers are positioning things in nearly every infringement case is a digital, yes/no equation that completely undermines one of the core building blocks of our entire legal system. It's unfortunate that judges don't have more latitude in controlling how cases are argued, but they don't.

They've got to sit by and watch as stupid, middle manager logic, kicks holes in a system specifically designed to take common sense and situational variables into account. Fuck 'em. Burn the lawyers.

Re: Half the problem @Charles 9

It doesn't have to be 'Faraday proof' if you want to use the phone. The handshake at phone startup is all that needs to take place. If you can't use the phone anyway just save the effort of a screen.

Re: and of course...

Of course it has existed for a long time. The 'political apparatus' doesn't need to go tampering with hundreds of millions of devices so they can skew election results.

People's priorities get so screwed up. They're worried about someone else having control of their phone, but never stop to think about who is controlling the money they pay their phone bill with. If 'the government' wanted to fuck with people they can just cut off access to your money. Or one of a million other things that are cheaper, less intrusive, completely invisible and a whole, whole lot scarier.

@shovelDriver

Child, I was in California lobbying for changes to their tax incentives for utility easements across private property for research and education networks before you knew what lobbying was. You're far out of your depth.

You never start in California if your goal is nationwide legislation. Tell me, oh great and wise, yet wildly inexperienced, numpty; why don't you start in California? You don't know do you?

You don't go to California because every single time that California legislation moves up here to DC approximately 50% of everybody will vote down even considering the legislation. It's a death sentence to bring California legislation to Capitol Hill.

It's one thing to lobby for legislation in California, the market is enormous all by itself. But if you want national legislation you start here in DC. Doubly so in this case because Metro DC Police Chief Cathy Lanier is the nation's number one advocate for remote phone 'bricking'.

See, if you want something with nationwide impact done here you start with a visit to one of the 17,000 registered lobbyists working in this city. There are two lobbying firms in the same building as my city office. They're not hard to find, or work with you know.

At any rate, there are 'proper' ways to mangle and distort law in this country. You do it the right way, or you don't get to do it at all. You're acting like an ass, thinking that there's some vast conspiracy to do everything backwards with the intent of bricking your phone. You're paranoid because you think someone might, I don't know actually; what are you afraid of?

Well, whatever it is that you're paranoid about, you're looking in the wrong place for it. The funny part is, you're making a scene about it and that's the crux of all this stuff. You're overvaluing the worth of your personal things and while you're out whining about it the actual threats are just rolling along and you don't even glance that direction.

So thanks, I guess. You've reaffirmed the purpose of lobbyists everywhere. You'll buy in to whatever they tell you and you'll stare all slack jawed and weepy eyed when you realize you've wasted so much time being concerned about the wrong things.

What? Why the fuck would they go through all the trouble to publicly legislate for a backdoor in one State? If you've missed the news for the last year it has become rather evident that device level backdoors are a tedious waste of money and a security threat because the phones sure as hell won't be built in California, or even the US.

I've never understood what everybody worries about with remote bricking on phones. It's not as if the consumer has ever had control of their handsets. Ever. Your carrier of choice has always had the ability to knock phones offline, and they'll do it across carriers too if you still owe one of them money. It has always been that way.

The threat is in the data centers, not your phone.

Re: Hasn't El Reg heard of ramraiding before?

Concrete filled steel bollards are common here in the US, but usually only around perineal robbery favorites like convenience stores, liquor stores, jewelry stores, abortion clinics and government buildings.

You don't often see them in higher income parts of town because robbery takes an entirely different form there, often disguised as things like 'APR', doctor bills and invoices from lawyers.

In seriousness, high end stores often have pneumatic bollards with sensor arrays out quite a ways from the doors. If they detect large, vehicle shaped things coming toward the building they deploy and lock in place until manually reset. Our insurance requires us to have some manner of vehicle barrier at all the doors, but we have to move really, really big things through those doors, so we went with the pneumatic type. They're serious things.

I'm actually quite surprised Apple doesn't have them, as they are generally considered the 'best'. As you might heard, Apple makes a pretty big deal about the 'best'.

Kind of makes you wonder why they really went to the event doesn't it? It seems rather like they are more interested in people knowing they were there.

Re: Time to look forward to a whole new swathe of patents

Don't get me wrong, I very much dislike the way Apple uses the patent system, but you can't pin that on Apple. The USPTO has sat to one side since the early days of dotcom v1 and did fuck all but watch as the rules governing a pretty good system designed to encourage the creation of tangible new 'stuff' were reinterpreted to discourage the creation of anything, tangible or otherwise.

They did shit as lawyers and and other assorted moosedicks redefined invention to mean 'first to label something', not the first to see a need and fill it in a novel way. Hell, they even got away from creating a novel thing then creating a situation that required the thing.

Go give a young kid a Dymo label maker and that's exactly what tech Recreation & Distraction has become, except less original.

Perhaps even more apt, take the first 300 years or so after the (re)discovery of the New World. Everybody except those who were already there were claiming various parts of it to be their own, by right of discovery. They were refusing to acknowledge the claims of others, on the basis of semantics, not common sense. All the while, drawing lines in the sand, and maps on the wall, of their own fucked up perception of the world.

We all know how that finally got sorted. While I'm not entirely opposed to armed conflict to resolve intellectual property disputes, I'm pretty sure all the weeping pantywaists that think they're clever by claiming to own rounded corners wouldn't be any fun to fight. It would be more of a mass execution of helplessly underpowered opponents, and that's just wrong.

In all seriousness, the problem in all this lies with the USPTO. They let software, bioscience and other people corrupt the system. Patents are still viable, and important, for many industries but the system was never designed for the bullshit people throw at it today. They need to move the incompatible bits over to their own system. Separate them and let them fight amongst themselves with rules designed to address their needs.

To the original point, yes, Apple are acting like a bunch of unwashed cocks, but they're playing by the rules (the actual rules behind patents are rarely studied by the masses, they've generally got no idea what they're talking about). They certainly aren't the only ones in tech, or even the worst, just very visible. In that sense Apple is doing what they're supposed to be doing, using any legal maneuver they can to control their target markets.

The answer to all this isn't the companies screwing with the system, or the companies who use the system as designed, the answer is for the USPTO to get off their ass and update a system that was last comprehensively revised when England had a King and landscape scale semaphore linked nations and would do away with war...

This is just fucking great! We've now categorized the first three types of comment for any Apple related article!

1 - The gormless troll comment

2 - The exasperated observer comment

3 - The armchair analyst comment

Personally, I like the armchair analyst comments the best. As opposed to sharing an opinion as the others do, the armchair analyst likes to express his poor understanding of finances and parrot comments he has heard elsewhere. The fact that both Microsoft and Apple have been in some state of 'falling apart, dying, bleeding out, failing, over, etc...' for more than three decades doesn't matter one bit. Nor does the fact that people make millions of dollars a year, every single year with shares of both companies doesn't matter either.

Of the three comment types, keeping the armchair analyst alive is crucial. Otherwise people will have to walk their own dogs and even drive their own cars. That just won't do.

Re: iPad and tablet photography...

The first time I noticed people taking photos with iPads was when they were doing the funeral flyovers in DC of the Space Shuttle. I was on the roof of a building and watching the crowds when a huge percentage of them raised their tablets skyward and took pictures.

At first I thought we were going to get to watch a new dictator take over DC and signaling his arrival with those placard mosaics the Chinese and North Koreans like. Alas, it was nothing so exciting. Just a shitload of people looking extremely silly and watching the flyover 'on a screen'. They could have stayed home and out of traffic for that...

At any rate, since that time I have been plotting how I can engineer a situation with a huge crowd of people taking pictures with tablets and create hurricane force winds to see how far the people will fly. Like kite surfing, but more fun to watch!

Re: That's what you do

For Apple to release new products or branch out from their current catalog would be just atrociously bad business. Like gross negligence, hire a Siberian Tiger as a nanny negligent.

You never, ever, under any circumstances dick with your offerings if they are still performing well. That's lemonade stand business basics. You don't do anything until the money slows down then you've got your war chest to keep things going.

The longer a product is produced the more its margins increase. Equipment and tooling are unbelievably expensive and if you change too fast you never get to stop writing me large checks.

Furthermore, you risk pulling the carpet from under your existing product if your new widget forces the customer to choose between buying another of the thing they don't mind buying, or the new thing.

There are lots of loudmouths out there screaming for Apple to do something new, but they don't have the business sense of a well polished moose turd. People that actually know what they're doing would pull their money out of Apple is a nanosecond if they started fixing what isn't broken. I know I would, and I'm pretty good at this stuff.

Re: Just as dumb as Google buying Nest for the same $3.2 billion

They aren't buying the technology, that gets tossed in for free. They're buying the streaming contracts as leverage for future negotiations with record labels.

I'm curious as to why you think licensing or hiring people is always less expensive. That is incredibly incorrect, I just want to know how you arrived at that conclusion.

Re: Overpriced, over-rated and over-valued...

Apple has vendor relations problem, not a lack of headphones or semi-retired gangsta rappers problem. Apple want Beats because of their contracts with the record labels, which have considerably better terms than what they've been able to negotiate.

Once they've bought those terms they're in a good spot for future negotiations with the labels. The labels are still angry at Apple for boxing them in on iTunes pricing, they feel like they left money on the table before. Beats gives Apple a toehold and the labels will have to negotiate on Apple's terms or take the revenue hit.

Facts are cool. A person can't say 'over priced/valued/etcetera' unless they've got facts. If they had facts they would have no sane reason to comment on price, because the price is a bargain.

Re: Overpriced, over-rated and over-valued...

Eerily, overpriced, over-rated and over-valued also describes a lot of opinions.

Re: How long ?

Apathy plays a role, as do prioritization, ignorance and good ole fashion stupidity.

You're obviously familiar with the role apathy plays, so we can skip that. But prioritization is a huge factor in the personal/family lives of the general public. Most people know that personal information is being captured and used for 'something', but at best they view it as an abstract distraction. It might be worth looking into, but only after their work is done, family fed, clothed, vaccinated and educated, their retirement fund 'full enough' and they've cleaned out the hair trap in the kids bathroom shower.

You can't really blame them for their priorities, those are understandable enough. But their ignorance is most unfortunate. Most people who aren't in marketing or IT simply have no concept of how much personal data is being collected. They also don't know and/or understand the stunning advancements in dealing with vast amounts of unstructured data. They don't know that 'anonymized' data can be used to identify an individual and how from that point members of a family, workplace or social activities can be plugged in and create an extraordinarily accurate picture of someone.

That leaves us with the fucking stupids. People who think that if they oppose what someone else is doing to get rich then they might one day oppose them if their fortunes changed one day. The fucking stupids group also includes the people who think that anything that makes money is good for everybody.

Re: your milage may vary

John Gruber is an evangelist, so he's going to get more from Apple. Your proxy has to know enough to avoid distorting your message.

El Reg on the other hand is just as likely to make fun of Apple as they are to sing their praises. With the notable exceptions of climate science and sustainable energy The Register does a good job of being fair, not skewed.

@ Lallabalalla (what the hell does that mean? :)

In all seriousness, keeping information contained and controlled is unbelievably difficult. You can have all the policies and rules in the world, but unless you're going to chain the staff to their desks all your information walks out the door at quittin' time everyday.

Military's do a pretty good job of keeping stuff secret, but let's face it, unless you're under military attack most people don't give a shit about the military. But huge numbers of people worship iStuff and getting some early info can really improve a journalists future job prospects. So Apple doesn't have the luxury of being ignored, they're constantly being prodded.

Until about 2/3 of the way through dotcom v1 it was common for companies to keep secrets about upcoming products by lying their asses off and running interference for the truth. The practice was ultimately (mostly) squashed by angry shareholders who sued because they were misled. It sure was fun though.

As a general rule of thumb, EVPs and SVPs are as far as you can go if your strengths lie in operational capacities. One of the quicker ways to really screw up a company, and a person, is to put them in a strategic management role just because a slot opened up in the C-Suite.

It's not that those people are inferior, not at all. It simply means people have varying strengths and to ignore them is folly. People in those upper tier (s)VP roles often make just as much money, get the same perks and responsibilities as the C-levels. A lot of those people command as much control over a company as the highest level executives. Kind of like a regent or chief of staff.

In a geek appropriate example, James T. Kirk and Jean Luc Picard were both shitty admirals, but great captains. The simply didn't think strategically, but were top of field in tactical planning and actions.

Re: Traffic lights should be *more* vulnerable as the system benefits from central control.

How was life 'in' the road? The Opossums and squirrels I've seen in the road didn't seem to be at all happy about it :)

Re: Hack away you can't do worse than Bristol City Council

A common reason for traffic signals not being synchronized is that the breaks in the traffic flow allow cars from perpendicular streets to get into the or cross the road. When lights are synchronized the traffic never breaks and if you're not already in the flow, it's going to be Christmas before you can.

Re: Network

The ocean does a pretty good job of blocking radio transmissions, and you don't even have to do anything. You can do it, but it's r-------e--------a-------l-------l--------y-------,-----r--------e--------a--------l--------l-------y---------s----------l----------o----------w.

Barring active enemy/competitor espionage at sea, communications on naval vessels are at greatest risk while in port. Doubly so if the ship is at anchor, but the crew is stuck onboard, bored. Even an Admiral's ship has crew that get bored and do really dumb shit as a result.

I did my internship with a company that made and serviced harbor traffic control systems, thus around lots of ships, and it's pretty wild the transmissions you pick up in a harbor. You can only do so many fire drills and deck cleanings before people start to weird out and there's always someone on shore willing to listen in if there's a navy vessel from any country floating around.

Re: Truisms Spoken Aloud

If you're referring to the 'English' language there's not a soul on this planet that speaks it 'correctly'. It's a hodgepodge of bullshit made up to suit the fancy of whoever is saying something at the moment. Fucking Klingon makes more sense than English.

I've always found it hilarious that the English spoken in Scotland is far more historically 'correct' than what the English speak. Hell, people in backwoods Appalachia speak better English than the English. I really wouldn't get too high up on that horse if I were you, some Nepalese fellow who learned English as his eighth language might show up and shame you.

Re: Truisms Spoken Aloud

I don't disagree, but you can wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which gets full first. If you aren't going to deal with reality you're better off staying in your basement/cube. People out here are running businesses and making money. It's fun. You should try it sometime.