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* Posts by Chicken Marengo

49 posts • joined 29 Nov 2011

Peak thumb drive is coming in 2016

Chicken Marengo

My prediction...

I predict that one day soon, someone will find all of the thumb drives that I've lost over the years.

The associated supply glut will assuredly crash the the market.

11
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Apple's Tim Cook: Fear not, worried investors, new product salvation is 'absolutely' on the way

Chicken Marengo
Joke

Re: new products

Same as everyone else's eyewear, but with rounded corneas?

0
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Oracle releases 'lite' virtual Big Data appliance

Chicken Marengo
Boffin

Oracle

Of course, being Oracle, you will need a Big Data Appliance to crunch the numbers to understand the licensing model for the Big Data Lite appliance.

3
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Good news: 'password' is no longer the #1 sesame opener, now it's '123456'

Chicken Marengo
FAIL

>>All answers had to be a minimum of 8 characters. OK if you had to choose your favourite type of plague

Bubonic

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Chicken Marengo

Password Policies

If it's an account I don't care about then it's EREIAMJH every time.

If I'm setting a password for a user/colleague who has a history of sharing their password then I take a sentence, encrypt it and set their password as the encrypted string.

For most websites, I simply forget te relevant password and create a new account every time I logon.

2
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Boffins claim Voyager has already left the Solar System

Chicken Marengo
Happy

Good Stuff

Nearly four decades on, Voyager is still bringing us new discoveries and pushing back the frontiers of human knowledge.

Who thinks Voyager should get the Nobel prize for Physics?

5
1

Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of users

Chicken Marengo

Free content ad network?

Get a new proof reader, you appear to have transposed a couple of words there

0
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2 in 5 top Brit biz bosses expect IT dept to drive 'technical innovation'

Chicken Marengo
Alert

Those same 39% also gave the IT department a budget of £0.00 to drive innovation.

Usually the same genius types that slash the IT department headcount whilst doubling the number of projects.

16
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Bill Gates's barbed comments pop Google's broadband balloons

Chicken Marengo
FAIL

Re: Intelligence!

>>A whopping 20%?

A 20% reduction in infant mortality translates to a marked increase in life expectancy. The advances in life expectancy that happened in the west with the introduction of modern medicine and hygiene standards were not due to old folk suddenly living longer, but due to reduced infant mortality (and death in child birth - another major issue in the developing world).

>>Ahhh, that is why they just want assistance, use the guise of hard work causes malaria as an excuse not to work.

Ah, that explains your tone. you would appear to be a Daily Mail reading racist who thinks everyone not fortunate enough to be within the top 1% of the worlds population is some sort of workshy scrounger.

I suspect you have absolutely no concept of the gulf in income/wealth, health, education and life opportunities between the western world and the developing world. Which is a shame as unlike the majority of the worlds population, you actually have the tools and the wealth to educate yourself.

6
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BOFH: Don't be afraid - we won't hurt your delicate, flimsy inkjet printer

Chicken Marengo
Thumb Up

Just like everything else...

...you gets what you pays for (to an extent)

I used to run a photography business, we had three main printers. A very expensive large format inkjet for archival and large printing, a very expensive dye-sub for large runs and proofing (and I never did work out why clients felt the need for hundreds of copies of the same image, but hey, they're paying) and a cheap and cheerful laser for invoices and letters.

The inkjet ran faultlessly for years and was surprisingly cheap to run, with cartridges the size of my car's petrol tank. We even went up to a size bigger than we needed because the value of the ink supplied with the initial purchase meant it actually cost no more than a smaller printer and spare set of inks.

The dye-sub, again faultless, for huge print runs you just needed to replenish the ribbon and paper every 700 or so prints, 5,000 prints in one go with no hassles. It did get dropped once, we had to repair the floor.

The laser printer? Absolute nightmare, chewed more paper than it printed. God knows where all the toner ended up, it certainly consumed more than ever went on the paper and speaking of toner, per unit volume it cost more than Ch Latour.

Yep, good engineering costs money, but it saves more in the long run.

2
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Inventor lobs spherical, throwable camera

Chicken Marengo
Coat

Re: Not new though

Also, it looks like it's got some seriously rounded corners. That's just asking for a lawsuit.

10
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REVEALED: Google's GINORMOUS £650m London Choc Factory

Chicken Marengo
FAIL

Inspired by Kings Cross & St Pancras?

St Pancras station is one of London's most beautiful buildings, whereas that pic looks like some drab box on a sixties red brick university campus.

They must have had the inspirator mis-calibrated.

5
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iPHONES and 'Pads BANNED in US for violating Samsung patent

Chicken Marengo
Thumb Up

Re: Patents cost us money

Looks like Eadon's keyboard has broken just as he was about to write: MICROSOFT NOT BEING INVOLVED IN THIS STORY PATENT FAIL!

Actually FWIW I agree with the gist of what Eadon said this time (which makes me feel dirty but there you go). The patent system has reached the point where it is no longer a tool to protect innovators but one to further the interests of multinationals. Anyone who thinks that small guy inventors are protected by patents is deluded. Unless of course they are blokes inventing things in their sheds who just happen to have millions to hire IP lawyers

4
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Tech startups, Silicon Valley, not all they're cracked up to be

Chicken Marengo
Flame

Re: Re: The entire report is questionable

Oh and of course, how many non tech start-ups have only become possible/viable because of advances created by the tech industry?

So much of the pharma industry is totally dependant on advances and falling prices in computing, often pioneered by small start-ups.

Still grumpy

1
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Chicken Marengo
FAIL

Re: The entire report is questionable

So many questionable aspects of this report.

e.g. What about companies that 'only' reach $99M turnover?

What about companies that get acquired before they reach $100M turnover?

Is the importance of IT start-ups increasing, decreasing or flat over time? After all, there was a lot less 'tech sector' 30 years ago.

Grumpy, cos I got to work at stupid o'clock this morning, to be greeted with drivel like this!

1
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Not cool, Adobe: Give the Ninite guys a job, not the middle finger

Chicken Marengo
WTF?

Re: What *I* would like to see...

Who the hell downvoted this sentiment? Not even Eadon is that divorced from common sense.

2
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Bill Gates offends Koreans after sticking hand down trousers

Chicken Marengo
Alert

Re: Gates vs Politician

>>any engineer is superior to any politician is a good rule of thumb methinks.

Bloody hell, I'm in agreement with Eadon about something, have an upvote.

I feel dirty now.

1
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Ten Windows 8 Ultrabooks

Chicken Marengo

Re: Eadon's Verdict... (SPOILER - FAIL)

Oh do toddle off to dev/null, there's a good chap

5
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Ten Windows tablets

Chicken Marengo
Trollface

Re: Ten Windows Tablets - the Eadon Review

Oh, do pipe down you sniveling little maggot.

We all get by now that you think Microsoft are responsible for all the ills of the world from the Black Death onwards. However, the simple fact is that Windows is there and many people are going to have to carefully evaluate Win 8 tablets for corporate deployment, whether they want to or not.

So why don't you bugger off back under your bridge and leave them in peace.

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Chicken Marengo

Eadon along in 5... 4... 3.....

7
5

Norkoshop: How Pyongyang well and truly forked Adobe

Chicken Marengo
Thumb Up

Not a bad review comrade

However, you failed to mention one of the fonts, Commie Sans.

34
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Open Virtualisation Format 2.0 lands, world+dog yawns

Chicken Marengo
Angel

Re: Numinous computing?

>>nu·mi·nous (adj): Having a strong religious or spiritual quality; indicating or suggesting the presence of a divinity.

Well, if you're hosting your VMs with Amazon or Azure (or the clowns that we use, who I shan't be naming) you better hope there's someone watching over them.

3
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The universe speaks: 'It's time to get off your rock!'

Chicken Marengo

Re: Time to fund more asteroid spotting investment

>>such as catastrophe would server to cancel out world debt

I assume that as Eadon posted this, it would have to be a Linux server? Presumably Microsoft are to blame for the asteroids in the first place.

Actually, I think Atari were to blame

3
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Shocked Zynga investors get a penny per share

Chicken Marengo
Coat

Re: A friend of mine...

Well I was surprised to find that my accountant accepted vegetables as payment.

It was a real turnip for the books.

Coat.get();

2
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BANG and the server's gone: Man gets 8 months for destroying work computers

Chicken Marengo
Pint

Re: Physical security of server room ?

>>In a company that small, a missing boss will be quickly noticed.

Yes, productivity would soar.

Beer, cos the boss is nowhere to be seen

0
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Oracle loses appeal in HP row over Itanium

Chicken Marengo
Thumb Down

Re: pm

>>Back under your bridge, troll.

Matt, I read nothing into that post that came across as trolling, it looked like a genuine request for further information.

Calling him a troll in those circumstances doesn't strengthen the case you are trying to make.

Full disclosure: I have to suffer neither oracle nor hp anymore.

5
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Microsoft Dell deal would restore PC makers' confidence

Chicken Marengo
Windows

Just for the shits and giggles...

...perhaps Apple will swoop in at the last minute and buy Dell with some of the loose change they have down the back of the sofa.

Hell, I'd do it just to see monkey boy's reaction.

10
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Holy classic car auction, Batman! They sold THE Batmobile!

Chicken Marengo
FAIL

@Shagbag

>>The $15,001 spent on the car wasn't a good investment at all

>>it'd be better being the guy who put his money in the market in 1955. He could've bought that batmobile today

Except that if nobody spent that $15,001 way back when to make the Batmobile, how the f*ck was anybody going to buy said Batmobile today?

Or perhaps the plan was to not spend $15,001 in 1965, investing it instead, then buy another movie car, namely the Back To The Future DeLorean in 2013 with the money accumulated, then travel back to 1965 with $15,001 of future money and use that to build the Batmobile. then travel back to 2013 and buy the now existing Batmobile? Of course you'd need a few million for the DeLorean as well as few for the Batmobile, so your $800K surplus would be insufficient. Perhaps you should take a Sports Almanac back to 1965 to make up the shortfall.

Seriously tho, you sir are a perfect example of why no Economist or accountant has ever contributed anything worthwhile to humanity.

0
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Sam Sung found in Apple Store SHOCKER

Chicken Marengo

Re: How old is he?

Aye, I've seen that phenomenon.

Best example of this was a lass who chose the to call herself Ophelia.

Her surname was Coq.

0
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Microsoft-Motorola patent row: Google wants $4 BEELLION a year

Chicken Marengo
Alert

Re: @Chicken Marengo

The thought of a patent lawyer serving my food or parking my car terrifies me

6
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Chicken Marengo
Mushroom

Careful what you wish for Google

Given that everyone in the tech industry now seems to be infringing dozens of the patents of everybody else, all these companies should surely be trying to tone it down a bit?

If Google gets awarded $4gazillion a year then Microsoft is going to be looking to get that back pretty damn quick and is likely to go nuclear with it's arsenal and you can be pretty sure that the Choccy Factory is infringing a few of them.

This in turn will prompt desperate retaliatory actions from others.

It's all starting to look a bit Dr Strangelove. I was thinking that maybe this is what the patent system needs, but the only people left standing at the end will be the lawyers.

10
1

Vodafone will rent you an iPhone 5 for 69p* a day

Chicken Marengo
Facepalm

Re: Upgrade treadmill

I generally need a new phone about every 12 months, but that's because I have a dismal track record of dropping them down toilets, into canals, or into the path of heavy vehicles.

I wonder if the insurance covers being a clumsy oaf.

0
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Forgetting Microsoft: How Steve Ballmer's Surface could win

Chicken Marengo
Gimp

owning the desktop is like being the sexiest nun in the convent

Ballmer in a wimple?!?!?

That's my fantasy ruined forever.

2
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Reds in the Routers is routine, not rare

Chicken Marengo

Re: Re: Cisco and China

>>Its fine, they just make the workers wear blindfolds when assembling it all.

Judging by the quality of construction for some of the kit, I suspect they make them wear boxing gloves as well.

1
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Dreaded redback spider's NEMESIS: Forgotten Captain Cook wasps

Chicken Marengo
Stop

So...

Let me guess, we encourage the spread of the wasp to combat the Redback, then discover that the vicious little bugger is more of a problem than the spider.

At least spiders don't go round ruining bar-b-ques, this wasp could destroy Australian culinary culture!

1
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Ready to patent that 'new' invention? Google is here to dash your hopes

Chicken Marengo

I wonder if 'rounded corners' qualifies as a key phrase.

3
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Texas Higgs hunters mourn the particle that got away

Chicken Marengo
FAIL

Re: Is it just me

Spoken like a true bean counter.

Fortunately primitive man didn't apply the same thought processes as you, otherwise we'd still be living in caves and freezing, after all what possible benefit could there be in researching this new fangled 'fire' thing?

3
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Reg hack attempts gutsiest expenses claim EVER

Chicken Marengo
Pint

Seems a perfectly legible & reasonable claim to me

At least it's in something approaching English.

My finance department get very upset with me when I submit receipts in Arabic or from Taxi drivers.

Guess which are easier to decipher?

Friday? Beer...On expenses

0
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China fingered as lappie disappears from Taiwanese boat

Chicken Marengo
FAIL

Re: It's called a laptop!

>>Language changes and we should take advantage of increased efficiencies and comfort afforded by these advances.

The logical extension of which is that we go back to monosyllabic grunting. Maybe teenagers are the future after all.

8
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Apple Passbook card-'n'-ticket app paves way for iOS e-wallet

Chicken Marengo
Facepalm

Animated Train Tickets?

Perhaps the UK train companies should have spent some more time and money making the trains move faster, rather than the tickets.

0
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Ape Apps help Orangutans talk to people

Chicken Marengo
Happy

Fantastic

Can they come and train my CEO how to use technology next?

3
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Spotify dances onto iPad

Chicken Marengo
Joke

Re: Why is it only for premium users?

Why don't you just spend a single tenner on any one 90s trance music CD? It's all the bloody same anyway.

More seriously, I believe what you're paying extra for with premium (well I am anyway) is really the offline listening ability, I agree that that rather than the target device should be the differentiator

1
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Fake cop Trojan 'detects offensive materials' on PCs, demands money

Chicken Marengo

Re: Payment?

---messages that come from a bank where nobody has any knowledge of English spelling, grammar or punctuation.

Like the last latter I received from my business account manager?

Seriously, you would not believe the standards of some of Britain's biggest banking institutions.

The managers look about 15 as well. But that could be me getting old.

6
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Sad but true: Napster '99 still smokes Spotify 2012

Chicken Marengo
WTF?

"Parker pointed out that even in its rudimentary state, Napster had a real-time chat channel built in, enabling file-sharers to communicate"

Maybe I'm just a vinyl spinning luddite, but why does a music subscription service need an IM client? I use Spotify to explore music, not read asinine comments from complete strangers (I've got El Reg for that).

Hell, by Parker's reckoning, my Linn LP12 must be absoutely useless for music, it doesn't even connect to the intertubes!

9
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PayPal turns smartphones into checkout tills

Chicken Marengo
FAIL

Chip and pin

Judging from the paypal promo video, this looks like it just uses the magnetic strip and then users sign on the screen with their sausage sized finger.

No support for chip and pin and no paper signature to verify, I reckon the chargeback rate from this one will be horrendous.

Without chip and pin i just can't see this being widely adopted, which is a shame, cos anything that reduces transaction and terminal costs for small merchants is sorely needed.

1
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Windows 8: Thrown into a multi-tasking mosh pit

Chicken Marengo
Happy

Re: Cromulence

>>The first sentence is a shorter, intelligible and perfectly cromulent way of expressing the same idea as the second.

Well done sir. I fell suitably embiggened.

4
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Microsoft demos 3D desktop with transparent OLED

Chicken Marengo

Another patent war coming?

After all, I believe Apple invented this next week.

7
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Headmaster freezes schoolkids for Gaia

Chicken Marengo
FAIL

Charcoal

>>We also learn that food and water were heated over high-CO2 emission charcoal – regrettably, not a very climate-friendly choice.

Actually, UK sourced charcoal is an extremely environmentally friendly choice that was the main source of energy for intensive uses such as glass making for hundreds of years before the industrial revolution and its' displacement by coke and coal . The CO2 emitted is from a renewable source and will be balanced by the new growth wood. Additionally charcoal production is usually from coppiced woodland. Coppicing is a highly sustainable woodland management practice that produces significant other environmental benefits.

Unfortunately, imported charcoal is often made from mangrove or clear cutting of rainforest, which is not a sustainable practice. However, without knowing the source of the charcoal how can you comment on whether or not it's use was climate-friendly?

2
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Osborne to SAVE ECONOMY with help from Media 2.0 websluts

Chicken Marengo
FAIL

Why do I suspect...

...that open medical data means all of our records left on a train?

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