* Posts by silent_count

437 posts • joined 21 Nov 2011

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Researcher says Aussie spooks help code Five Eyes mega malware

silent_count
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The Truth is Out There

Two indisputable facts:

a) 'WarriorPride' sounds like a reference to the New Zealand Warriors rugby league team.

b) Simon Travaglia is from NZ.

So the obvious conclusion is that this uber virus was written by none other than the BOFH himself.

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Keylogger: Somebody STOP ME! Oh hang on, I just did

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Re: Someone else

That's just it! It sounds like the opening line for a joke...

A malware writer walks into a bar and says, "Trust me, guys. Install this. It'll be good for you."

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China 'upgrades' Great Firewall. Oh SNAP! There goes VPN access

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'Cause we want to!

I disagree with China's decision but I do like the honesty of their approach. No bleating about terrorists or paedos. Just, "Screw you guys. We'll do this because we want to."

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Hollywood vs hackers: Vulture cracks Tinseltown keyboard cornballs

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Re: Awwww... come on....

Not so much forgotten as supressing the memory to avoid the possibility of further crap movie induced trauma.

Introducing Timothy Olyphant as the evil hacker mastermind you'd kick in the backside, en passant, on the way to the pub. You'd barely even break stride while thwarting his plan to... meh, whatever.

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DAMN YOU! Microsoft blasts Google over zero-day blabgasm

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If this were a vulnerability that allowed people to activate Windows without paying Microsoft:

a) There would no complaining that Google gave them only 90 days notice because there would be a patch ready to go within a week.

b) Nobody at Microsoft would be saying, "Well yes, the patch is ready but we really should wait until 'patch tuesday' to deploy it."

On the other hand, if this were a vulnerability whose disclosure would cost Chrome market share, I'll bet'cha Google could have found it within themselves to wait a couple of days longer.

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Google crashes supposedly secure Aviator browser

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Bootnote: Users concerned enough with privacy [...]

wouldn't be using a browser made by an advertising company.

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Got a 4King big TV? Ready to stream lots of awesome video? Yeah, about that…

silent_count
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Imagine a website where you can download videos at a variety of resolutions. You'd then have a choice of downloading a high resolution video ahead of time if your bandwidth isn't high enough to watch while it's downloading. Or the other option would be to download a lower resolution video. And in either case you could then transfer the downloaded video to whichever device you care to watch it on.

Now imagine if the self-described 'creative' industry could create a legal way to do what I've descrbed. It turns out they're not that creative after all.

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World's largest ship swallows 900 MEGATINS of baked beans

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Re: Revisionists

We've gotta round up the Apatosaurians, and the astrologers* too - the ones who decided that Pluto isn't a planet. Cause I've had enough!

Either they can renounce their idiotic ways or we'll stuff them into a rocket and send them all to Pluto so they can see first-hand just how planet-like it is. And they'd better do their research quickly too because there's every chance they'll get stood on by an angry, Pluonian brontosaurus!

* Yeah. Yeah. I know. But real astronomers would be too busy spending their time discovering stuff to mess around with re-labeling the things in our solar system. So the ones with that kind of free time on their hands - they're the ones who have nothing to do all week after spending Monday morning writing about the tall, dark and handsome stranger you're going to meet while drowning your sorrows at the pub because some shitty astrologers decided to mess with Pluto.

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Lollipop licked: KitKat still king in Android land

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What's the benefit of 'upgrading'?

From where I'm looking, Google is heading towards the same kind of problem that Microsoft has with XP. The most compelling reason both companies can give to upgrade to the newest OS is, "We've stuffed around with the UI so you'll have waste time re-learning things, and some things which worked just fine yesterday won't work tomorrow."

And then they're frustrated that people aren't in a hurry to upgrade!

Improved security used to be a good reason to upgrade but you can only say, 'the new version is more secure than the previous bugfest' before even the most naive punter realises it's just a case of swapping one set of bugs for the next.

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El Reg tests portable breathalyzers: Getting drunk so you don't have to

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For later parts of testing, measured shots of 80 proof Jameson whiskey were used.

Having determined that the Jameson wasn't quite doing the trick, the testers then moved on to shots of Bacardi 151. This produced some quite impressive scores on the breathalyser but still didn't satisfy the hacks in their headlong pursuit of El Reg's standards of journalistic excellence. So out came the Everclear. Sadly, very little can be reported beyond this point except for the 3am declaration that Reg HQ has seceded from mother England, is now an independent republic bereft of public nudity laws, and shall have a navy which consists of an aircraft carrier which launches double decker busses from it's flight deck. All hail emperor DrewC, the first of his name.

In completely unrelated news, The Register is now taking applications for four vacant 'breathalyser tester' positions. Please submit your CVs to the usual suspects.

---

On a more serious note, happy new year to all Reg staff and the commentards who make this site such an enjoyable and educational read.

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Tesla parades sleek model body and fab batt at Roadster fans

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Re: "Thinks"?

Tesla thinks all these changes will lead to [...]

Sure they've done testing but their marketing people don't want to be hampered by facts.

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Dotcom 'saved' Xmas for Xbox – but no one can save Sony's titsup PlayStation Network

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While I don't support DoS-ing either gaming network, this incident has neatly demonstrated the failings of need-to-be-online games to the general public.

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China fingered for Afghan Govt attacks

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You're welcome, Destroy.

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silent_count
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Does this means this is malware vehiculated by jpg?

In short, no.

According to the linked analysis, the attacker* took a Windows executable, XOR-'encrypted' it (to stop it from being recognised as an executable), and changed the file name to 'icon.png'.

The thing is, that executable can only be run on the victim' s system if the hostile java code is present too. It's not like you view/download some picture file and that's what compromises your system.

As always, use NoScript, make sure java is not installed, and preferably both.

*The technical analysis looks credible but, as far as blaming China, their evidence doesn't seem to go further than, 'well, China has something to gain from doing this'. Sure they do but they're not alone in that respect.

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You have a 'SIMPLE QUESTION'? Well, the answer is NO

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Re: says:

I've got a lot of time for older people. They helped me when I couldn't walk without their help and now they have trouble walking without mine. What goes around comes around (as the Igors say).

The one which I have the hardest time explaining is, "why does the writing have to be so small?"

Sure, it's trivial to increase the font size but the UI elements don't scale well. Or maybe the heavens align and they do scale but now you've got a jumble of nicely scaled fonts and UI elements cramped and overlapping in a window which hasn't changed size.

While I understand how the underlying clusterfuck came to be but explaining why it is and, more importantly, why it hasn't been fixed is just too dizzying.

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Deprivation Britain: 1930s all over again? Codswallop!

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Re: hay man

"Not literally true"

That's the kind of thing they told me when I was a kid in a catholic school pointing out inconsistencies in the bible.

That phrase tweaked my interest so I looked up the guardian article in question... and immediately spotted where Mr Worstall went wrong. It's in the very first line.

"I have been an activist for 70 years. I’ve organised unions, rent strikes, [etc]"

Which roughly translates as, "any resemblance between the following and reality is purely coincidental."

An activist acts. They don't question the wisdom of their actions*. They've chosen their cause and are more than willing to toss the truth overboard in pursuit of 'the greater good'.

* When was the last time someone introduced themselves as an introspectionist? Perhaps the world would be a better place if we had more of those.

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How was your week? Was it as bad as Uber's? Here's what happened

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With red cheeks

*Rouge* is what you put on your cheeks to make yourself look fabulous. A *rogue* is the person who steals your rouge because they want to look fabulous too.

I'm sorry, AC. I normally don't do nitpicks but that one drives me nutsy. If it's any consolation, I do agree with you.

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Sonic BOOM: 10 blast-tastic soundbars

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Re: £800 for a SOUNDBAR!

You jest, AC but I've wondered if that could be a plausible strategy - to use a bunch of phones as a speaker system.

Place your guests' phones at various points around the room. They automagically work out their position relative to the room's 'main' screen. And from there the phones act as a speaker system or as a supplement to the one which is already there.

Aside from getting phones from different manufacturers to cooperate, which isn't insurmountable, the problem would be that current phones can't determine their position that accurately. Perhaps each phone emits a short beep and the other phones compare notes to determine their relatve position in the room according to how loudly they 'heard' each beep.

Even if this would only provides the audience with a small improvement in their evening, it'd be worthwhile because it costs nothing - it's using what they already have.

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This Christmas, demand the right to a silent night

silent_count
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The magic of silence

I'd like to help y'all out. There's a little automation app called Tasker in the google store. It can be made to do many things but here's my favourite.

When my phone comes into range of my home's WiFi, the ringer and notification volumes are silenced*. When I leave my home's WiFi, they're both switched on again.

As a result, nobody disturbs my family time and nobody disturbs my sleep.

* There are exceptions for my girlfriend and my parents so they would be able to contact me in an emergency.

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Portland lobs fair-trade gluten-free artisan SUEBALL at Uber

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Re: $41bn?

a) https://www.fourmilab.ch/hotbits/

b) For the investors, it's too close to call. But the succession of "Uber banned in x" stories is making it increasingly clear that the management are incompetent. They're not even greasing the right pollies!

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Hawking: RISE of the MACHINES could DESTROY HUMANITY

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It's all good. With my (less than world-leading) knowledge of x86 assembly, C++, and web page design, I'm sure Mr Hawking will want to clear his schedule to hear my thoughts on particle physics and the future of string theory research.

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Nordic Samuel Beckett meets Kafka meets Gervais: Modern office parable The Room

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eBook Publication Date 15 January (UK) / 17 February (US)

Does anyone know why there's a discrepancy between the UK and US release dates?

Looks to me like the publishers trying to give the pirate bay a leg up by creating a month long window where US customers will be able to torrent this book but aren't able to purchase it legally.

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Hey, here's some face-tracking tech from Samsung you probably won't find creepy at all

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Since most laptops have built in cameras, it will be interesting to see if this tech becomes more mainstream. Imagine just looking at where you want the mouse pointer to be then blinking to click*.

And if laptops didn't need track pads, they'd be smaller, (slightly) cheaper, and also have one less component that can break.

* I imagine most able-bodied people would still prefer hardware mouse buttons - to prevent accidental misclicks and to make dragging operations easier.

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Abbott scholarship leaker escapes conviction

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Re: "with no conviction'

@dan1980

I do understand your reasoning, as you've explained it, and thank you again for taking the time. I'll confess that I'm still uncomfortable with the notion of not recording convictions.

I'm simple. I think if someone does something good, they deserve the credit for what they've done. If someone does something bad, at the very least, the fact that they've done so should be recorded. That's the price, good or bad, of doing business.

All in all, it's probably a good thing that I don't have much to do with the legal profession. :)

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Re: "with no conviction'

@ dan1980

Thanks for taking the time to explain in such detail. I do appreciate it.

It's not that I believe anything untoward has taken place with regard to this particular case, it's that I don't grasp the "no conviction" thing at all.

Either the defendant is found not guilty and (obviously) no conviction is recorded because there wasn't one to record. Or they're found guilty - they are convicted of whatever crime they've been accused of - and the conviction is recorded because, well, that's what happened.

The notion that the defendant can be convicted but the judge decides not to record a conviction... that's just too much for my simple mind to comprehend.

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silent_count
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"with no conviction'

What's that all about? She did the crime. She pleaded guilty. What conceivable rationale would there be for "no conviction"?

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Woman who stung Tinder with sex-pest sueball stings again – with rival Bumble app

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Or the cynical ploy of: Let's weaken my current employer's business by alleging sexual harassment*, paving the way for me to set up a competitor. And if the former employer complains about me poaching customers/staff/algorithms/etc it will be perceived as even further harassment of a courageous victim who is just trying to get on with her life.

* I imagine that would cripple a dating app/site. Who wants to use a dating app run by the kind of creeps who would harrass their staff?

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DEATH by COMMENTS: WordPress XSS vuln is BIGGEST for YEARS

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@ Trevor Pott and Ole Juul

I don't personally have a problem with WordPress as I don't use it. My problem with it is once removed, as it were. My entire experience of WordPress is that of people complaining to me that it doesn't work, or doesn't do what it's supposed to do, or can't be configured to do what they'd like it to do.

It may well be the best software ever written buy the most talented and conscientious programmers on the planet, but when you keep hearing about a toaster that burns the toast, and the person using it, the obvious conclusion is that something is wrong with it.

Maybe I only hear from dumb users, or maybe it's something like better documentation or user tutorials required. I don't know.

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silent_count
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Whenever I see 'WordPress' the first thing that springs to mind is Ripley's solution, "Nuke the entire site from orbit".

Pure coincidence I'm sure.

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Culture CLASH: Wuzhen Declaration spurned at World Internet Conference in China

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The yanks are doing their best to record every lolcat picture you look at, and cross index everyone you mention it to. The brains trust at the EU are doing their best to censor search results because God forbid that anyone find out that you did, in fact, look at a lolcat picture a few years back.

So I wonder quite how sanctimonious we in the west look to the Chinese when we preach about internet freedom.

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MYSTERY Russian satellite: ORBITAL WEAPON? Sat GOBBLER? What?

silent_count
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and nobody seems to know what it’s doing up there.

Do you reckon the Russians might have some inkling?

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Big shadowy orgs should stop scooping up everyone's personal info – say Google, Facebook

silent_count
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Aside from the rank hypocrisy of the companies behind this, even if this bill passes and the head of the NSA agrees to stop all surveillance activities, who would believe him?

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Kindle, meet my partner. Darling, play nice with Kindle, please

silent_count
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Or you could strip the DRM and give away or loan your ebooks to whoever you choose.

To paraphrase: You wouldn't stop someone from giving away a book they no longer want. So what makes them think that's acceptable just because its an ebook?

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Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

silent_count
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Re: Most people who 'like' the Bible

I'd argue the same for Mein Kampf - the people who say it's influential haven't actually read it, much like most of the Germans it allegedly influenced. It was so poorly written that it's Mr Hitler would have enjoyed far less support if his book had been more widely read.

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Got a STRAP-ON? Remember to TAKE IT OFF at WORK

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Pocket Billiards

My darling girlfriend bought me a cheap but functioning pocket watch to compliment my Mad Hatter halloween costume. Now every time someone asks me the time I have an excuse to fondle my nipple region wearing an expression of near-orgasmic bliss until enquirer gets uncomfortable and goes away. Should they endure through my performance, I finally retrieve the watch from my pocket before telling them I forgot to wind it this morning (or any morning, but they don't need to know that).

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Why solid-state disks are winning the argument

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Why I use SSD #2

A SSD equipped laptop doesn't have any issues when I carry it around on my motorbike.

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One hard ghoulie: 1985's Ghosts 'n Goblins

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Re: i would be rich today..

It wasn't so much that Ghosts n Goblins was hard but it was both hard *and* enjoyable enough that you'd keep trying. There were plenty of games that were hard, but they were also bad so you'd never play them a second time (Moonwalker anyone?). And a few that were impossible (Qix and Tetris spring to mind).

Wonder Boy would certainly give Ghosts n Goblins a run for its money in the difficulty stakes. Bubble Bobble and Black Tiger would too.

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Oz trade minister RUBBISHES TPP fears

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RIP Gough Whitlam

I was never his greatest fan but Australia is worse off with the passing of Mr Whitlam. Like Mussolini's corpse, left dangling in a servo, Mr Whitlam's political fate served as a warning to even the most out of touch politician.

With the previous Labor and current Liberal governments both dealing in secret, against the interests of her citizens, I believe it's time Her Magesty got off Her backside and chucked out another government. The political class aren't very bright and need a constant reminder of whom they're obliged to serve.

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The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?

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Fun huh?

There's the intellectual challenge of constructing a tower of invisible blocks. The quiet satisfaction of a job well done when it withstands the worst battering of the testers can inflict. And the pride in seeing the tower you've constructed improving someone else's life, even if it's only a little bit.

Fun? Not so much. I know nobody, and nor do you, who says, "Ya know! Screw this trip to the beach/movies/restaurant. Let's stay home instead and write an optimised red-black tree implementation in assembly. 'Cause that'll be way more fun."

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Watersports-friendly e-reader: Kobo's Aura H2O is literary when wet

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Re: Reading in the bath

If you haven't already, can I suggest trying (the badly named) pbchess, which comes with a build of CoolReader. The virtue of using it instead of the kobo software is that it loads the books from the file system, so you can name the files as you see fit and arrange them in whatever directory structure makes you happy.

http://wiki.vlasovsoft.net/doku.php?id=en:pbchess-1.2.6

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Is living with Dolby Atmos worth the faff?

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And once I had all 2,048 speakers arranged in a fractionally asymmetrical snowflake pattern, as suggested by the Antikythera mechanism, I was able to listen to the Sesame Street theme song *as it was meant to be heard*.

This is kind of like the Concorde. Sure it works but it'll never be a practical option for the vast majority.

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Scientists skeptical of Lockheed Martin's truck-sized FUSION reactor breakthrough boast

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I Want To Believe

On the one hand the LM Skunk Works are not an unmitigated bunch of vapourware merchants. On the other hand, the most knowledgeable physics dudes I know tell me that practical fusion energy is for physicists what a real AI* is for programmers - tantalisingly close but always a bit beyond our reach.

* The kind that can pass a Turing test.

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Russian hackers exploit 'Sandworm' bug 'to spy on NATO, EU PCs'

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"Weaponized Powerpoint"

Am I the only one picturing...

"No. No, Ahmed. No more bomb belts or explosives in cars for us. From now on we will be using weaponized powerpoint. It's pie charts and meaningless graphs will bore the yankee, imperialist scum into submission. Ha har!"

Ok. Maybe it was just me.

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'MYSTERIOUS PYRAMID STRUCTURE' found on COMET beyond Mars: Landing planned

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Joke

Re: Pyramid?

Now that would be silly!

Ever noticed how strange it is that there are pyramid structures in both Egypt and in central America? Well that's the best replica our ancestors could manage of the one pyramid that spawned us all... which just incidentally happened the last time p67 visited.

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Protesters stop ground breaking on world's largest telescope

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Congratulations to the protesters

For protesting peacefully. There are too many out there who think their cause, whatever it happens to be, will be served by behaving like ferals.

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Adobe spies on readers: 'EVERY page you turn, EVERY book you own' leaked back to base

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Default deny!

This software should not be allowed through one's firewall as there is no logical reason why an ebook reader program would need to access the internet.

I'm caught between my usual level of contempt for Adobe* and a lack of sympathy for anyone who still hasn't gotten around to reading Mr Radnum's list (#1 on the list is 'default permit').

* Is there anyone here who sees the number of vulnerabilities found in Flash on a regular basis and thinks that installing more Adobe software is a good idea?

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Revenge smut bullies who send 'grossly offensive' messages WILL be prosecuted

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Re: re: revenge porn can affect anyone

@Patrick R

The issue with explicit photos of children is that children are deemed too immature to be able to provide consent.

The issue with explicit photos of adults is that adults are deemed too immature to be able to provide consent.

It's a good thing that it's Ms Miller who makes that argument because if it were a bloke saying that (predominantly) women are too stupid to make their own decisions, he'd be considered sexist and there would be large sections of the mainstream media baying for his resignation.

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JPMorgan CYBER-HEIST: 9 US financial firms snared by 'Russian hackers', says report

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Well now we know

IT security is *not* what JPM spent their bailout money on.

It's perverse that the yanks have RICO laws to get rid of corrupt organisations but their policy regarding incompetent ones seems to be to throw money at them.

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Wide Open Data: NYC taxi dump catches strip club Johns

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Freedom of Association?

John Doe, who lives by himself, regularly catches a cab to an address where they have AA/NAACP/GoP/whatever meetings. How is this release of data not a violation of John's right to freedom of association?

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Windows 10: One for the suits, right Microsoft? Or so one THOUGHT

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Multiple desktops?

Honest question. Can the "multiple desktops" under Win10 do anything more/better than Win7 + Dexpot?

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