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* Posts by Sloppy Crapmonster

75 posts • joined 19 Nov 2011

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Microsoft: Just what the world needs – a $25 Nokia dumbphone

Sloppy Crapmonster
Thumb Up

Yes please

Candybar phone with a physical numberpad that plays MP3s? Why has it taken so long? I really truly want one of these things.

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Chromebooks to break out of US schools: Netbook 2.0 comeback not just for children

Sloppy Crapmonster

I appreciate that a chromebook will boot and allow at least a guest login without one, but in what sense do you mean "Chromebooks do not require an internet connection."? I am genuinely curious.

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Sony Xperia Z2: What we REALLY thought of this Android fondleslab

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Meh

"Is thinner than an iPad Air really necessary?"

Yes. The end goal should be something that is the dimensions and foldability of a piece of paper with the computing horsepower to get things done instantly and the networking oomph that everything in the whole world may as well be local. The things we have now are still hopelessly primitive.

No, I'm not joking.

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Haunted Empire calls Apple 'a cult built around a dead man.' Tim Cook calls it 'nonsense'

Sloppy Crapmonster
Joke

Could you imagine how much publicity Apple would get if Jobs came back *now*?

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German freemail firms defend AdBlock-nobbling campaign

Sloppy Crapmonster
Meh

George Saunders had something to say about that

I can't say you should take this in any way whatsoever, but I've read a short story that I believe is over the odds in coming to pass:

My Flamboyant Grandson

Freetard link

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How a Facebook post by blabbermouth daughter cost her parents $80,000

Sloppy Crapmonster
Alert

Re: Something doesn't add up here...

This wasn't a "click here if you agree" type thing.

At least according to the letter of the law here in the USA, "click here if you agree" is as legally binding as any paper document you sign with a pen. See the E-SIGN act of 2000, signed into law by the same president who would challenge you to define the word "is".

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El Reg Contraption Confessional No.1: The Dragon 32 micro

Sloppy Crapmonster

Someone Else's Nostalgia in my basement

I bought the local access channel's Amiga 4000T when they moved buildings, thinking I would at least play some original Amiga classics (Shadow of the Beast is the only one that actually comes to mind). I never did, and it's still sitting in my basement. I'm sure *somebody* wants it, but I haven't gotten around to finding that someone yet.

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Asus Transformer Book T100: Xbox One? PS4? Nah, get a cute convertible for Christmas

Sloppy Crapmonster

License Violation

"The good news is that despite these notifications of apparent incompletion, you can use the Office apps. I’ve written this whole review on the T100 and have not found myself cursing the keyboard or the device in the process. "

I'm fairly certain the Home and Student version of Office is licensed for non-commercial use only, which would lead me to believe you can use it to write a letter to Grandma but not a paid-for article for publication.

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Nokia's phone division burned us so badly we HAD to flog it, says CEO

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Wait.... there's still work for Elop to do

"if it wasn't true you'd never believe it."

The telephone was ringing

That's when I handed it to Liz

She said "This isn't who it would be

If it wasn't who it is"

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SUPERSIZE ME: Nokia unveils Surface rival and 2 plumped-up phablets

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: good to see

The camera in the 1020 was what caught my attention. It became a "yeah it's Microsoft but that's a really nice camera" rather than the other way around. With a camera that I could get on any other device I bought, the fact that it's Windows RT weighs heavily against buying it.

Windows Phone/RT might be the best mobile OS out there, but *I personally* need some reassurance I'm getting something out of it. I've dealt with MS products for far too long to give them the benefit of the doubt.

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Anti-food startup Soylent pours sugar daddies' $1.5m into its gloopy mix

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Im very interested in this...

It seems to me that by the second or third day of Soylent I'd be begging for chicken and rice again.

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Wanna be Zuckerberg's neighbor? Tough luck, he bought the block for $30m

Sloppy Crapmonster

If you're on Facebook, you're a whore

And Zuckerberg's your pimp. It's crass, but it's not incorrect.

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Too busy tweeting to turn over TV channels? AT LAST a solution

Sloppy Crapmonster

From my neck of the woods

"You will soon have a new, exciting choice of cable providers in your neighborhood"

About time!

"It's Comcast"

Oh, fuck me.

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Microsoft store staff to hold all night vigil for Surface 2

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Pitbull photo

Gluttons for punishment. Not only will we confiscate $300 for a Surface, we'll rendition you to Florida and force Pitbull down your ear canals!

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Wanna run someone over in your next Ford? No dice, it won't let you

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: I, for one, protest

Running over? Abso-fucking-lutely. "Share the road" means cyclists need to obey traffic laws, too.

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IBM checks itself into therapy after touting Frankencloud to the CIA

Sloppy Crapmonster

CIA's a step down on the ladder of evil

Hey, they helped out Nazi Germany[0], right? The CIA is somewhat less evil than that.

[0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust

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Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Waitrose FTW

We have that at a few self-check places here, too. "No, fuck off and call the police if you care to" in response to "may I check your receipt please?" at the door is enough to shut that conversation down.

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Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Shopping Hell... Never

And I thought I had it tough working with an autistic 6 year old. I can only sympathize for you and your 0.4 child.

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OUCH: Google preps ad goo injection for Android mobile Gmail app

Sloppy Crapmonster

Unsent messages in my inbox?

What, am I required to forward all mail to the NSA myself now?

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Hardbitten NYC cops: Sir, I'm gonna need you to, er, upgrade to iOS 7

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Absolutely Ridiculous

Significant enough to get paid by apple to advertise new iOS upgrades, maybe. Do you suppose, if Apple pays them $0.10 per flyer, they claw back $0.03 of that in fees?

Phone theft isn't significant enough for them to actually go track down a stolen phone, for example.

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Apple to uncloak new iPads, iMacs at October 15 event?

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Fandroids, start your engines

It's never the wrong time to hate Apple.

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Bigger than Twitter: Opera releases rebuilt Chromium-based browser

Sloppy Crapmonster
Meh

Re: Ad blocking

Not out of the box.

Adblock/Adblock Plus and Ghostery are available as extensions. If this works as well in Linux as Windows I may just switch back there, too.

Hold on, no bookmarks? Maybe not, then. We'll see.

Hold on, crappy selection of search engines? Looking more doubtful.

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2012: second costliest year for weather and climate-related disasters

Sloppy Crapmonster
Happy

Re: "Don't build in tornado alley"

To you, it was the most significant blizzard in your life. To me, it was Tuesday.

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Microsoft offers free keyboard covers for Surface RT

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Apparently

Do you have any more info on that? I'd take them up on it.

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Google adds Atari Easter Egg for Breakout's birthday

Sloppy Crapmonster
Thumb Up

It works just fine for me in Opera 12.15 for Debian 7.0. And this is my "give google as few permissions as possible" browser!

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Google's Glasses: The tech with specs appeal?

Sloppy Crapmonster
FAIL

If it was anybody but google, they'd sell me the glasses and keep the fuck out of my brain (maybe; can't be too sure anymore). Because it's google, they're going to charge me somewhere between $100-$500 for the hardware, tie what I'm looking at to the google+ account I'm obliged to have at work, and then pump ads I don't want straight into my eyeballs. No thanks.

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You thought watching cat videos was harmless fun? Think AGAIN

Sloppy Crapmonster
Happy

Re: Smut alert!

That domain is in use, and totally SFW. I'll leave the contents to someone brave enough to load it up :)

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Sir James Dyson slams gov's 'obsession' with Silicon Roundabout

Sloppy Crapmonster
Happy

Re: Web fads and video games

My introduction to The Designer's Republic was the cover of Pop Will Eat Itself's "This Is The Day..." album, so when I saw that they also did some work on Wipeout I had to get it.

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Rude web trolls should NOT be jailed, warns prosecution chief

Sloppy Crapmonster

If something isn't done about the amount of trolling on teh intertubes I'm going to blow this website sky high!

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ITU to treaty haters: Enjoy your pricey roaming, boatloads of spam... suckers

Sloppy Crapmonster
Happy

Re: confused

You make it sound like a King's Quest.

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First pic of Ashton Kutcher as the great Steve 'jOBS'

Sloppy Crapmonster
Happy

Re: Jobs deserved an actor

Adam Sandler as Jobs, Seth Rogan as Wozniak. Brilliant!

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Sony tempts 4K Ultra HD TV buyers with free films

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: The Bridge on the River Kwai

LoA is the wrong aspect ratio for this TV. Although I would hope if you're stupid enough have refined enough taste to purchase one of these TVs, you would appreciate the letterboxing on such a title.

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MIDI: 30 years old... almost

Sloppy Crapmonster

C-Lab Notator!

Damn you, I had forgotten about that program. I bought an ST just to be able to run it. My favorite sequencer ever, and I'm still pretty upset that my basement studio decided to let in all that water the weekend I was out of town :(

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Sloppy Crapmonster
Happy

MMA AES?

encrypted cage fighting?

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Pong creator turns nose up at Nintendo Wii U

Sloppy Crapmonster
Thumb Down

Re: Atari?

Infogrames bought them a number of years ago and took on the name. Nolan Bushnell, on the other hand, has slightly more money than god after starting and selling off both Atari and Chuck E. Cheese. He may not be involved in video games anymore, but he's got a bit more clout than whoever this Pete Foster guy is does.

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The early days of PCs as seen through DEAD TREES

Sloppy Crapmonster
Trollface

PCs are worse

Hitler only destroyed the lives of six million.

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Lawrence 'Empire Strikes Back' Kasdan to pen future Star Wars script

Sloppy Crapmonster
Happy

Re: Why not...

I would pay good money to see Star Wars VII with (current) Carrie Fisher in that metal bikini.

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Jubcropgate: El Reg in snake-fondling nude nipslip outrage

Sloppy Crapmonster
Joke

So you're throwing poor Dave under the bus(t), eh?

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Apple said to have let the name of the next OS X cat out of the bag

Sloppy Crapmonster
Joke

Re: I'll switch to OSX

And have the Beatles record an album to go along with it.

I'd suggest calling it Revolver Ocelot.

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Reefer madness blasts pot machine maker's stock sky high

Sloppy Crapmonster
FAIL

Re: Legalise all drugs for the employed.

Did you all really miss the trollface?

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Goatse.cx opens up again - as an email provider

Sloppy Crapmonster
Happy

goatse shrine

Sam Hocevar -- past Debian project leader -- has a shrine to goatse at http://sam.zoy.org/goatse/

*I* think it's funny, but I can also understand how people might disagree.

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The new Mac mini eviscerated with ease

Sloppy Crapmonster
Happy

Our DB server is named mauve because "mauve has the most ram": http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1995-11-17/

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Microsoft Surface: Designed to win, priced to fail

Sloppy Crapmonster
Flame

Re: Car crash?

"I firmly believe Microsoft have something that could really shake things up and give us a viable alternative to Android/Apple."

What makes you think that? 0% of the software you've already bought will work on this device, *and* it's as expensive as the tablet that everyone wants anyway -- I mean, I gave up on Apple when they killed the Newton; I don't think I've ever heard anyone expressing an interest in a non-Apple tablet (except you, just now). If you're starting all over buying stuff for it anyway, are you just going with the devil you know?

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Will you soon be fingering your seven-incher?

Sloppy Crapmonster
Joke

Re: How about 0 points?

Virtual instruments able to take input from zero fingers? John Cage would like to have a word and/or lawsuit with you.

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T-Mobile and MetroPCS mobile minnows merge

Sloppy Crapmonster
WTF?

LOL

If you're one of the (let's be generous) 1.5 million people living in one tiny area of the USA, and you ask your wireless provider, they'll let you connect your phone to their network. I don't think that makes *anything* said about their network outdated.

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Cash in the asset: Nokia may flog global headquarters in Espoo

Sloppy Crapmonster
Trollface

Genius!

1) Sell headquarters to non-finanacially-linked subsidiary

2) Charge 1 BEELION DOLLARS/mo rent

3) Pay rent in IOUs

Nokia proper ends up paying nothing, subsidiary has ridiculous income rolling in, everyone wins.

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Pastafarians: Get your noodly appendages off that Facebook suspect

Sloppy Crapmonster
Thumb Up

An answer to the Jesus Fish

Saw this on a car in town the other day:

http://www.amazon.com/Flying-Spaghetti-Monster-Car-Emblem/dp/B000ER24EY

I prefer my own car with as few stick-on bits as possible, but I Approve.

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Hitachi claims glass data storage will last millions of years

Sloppy Crapmonster

Inconceivable?

You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.

I'd hate to be the backup guy, having to swap out 2cm^2 disks that hold 40MB a piece.

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Virgin Media STILL working on fix for SuperHub corrupt downloads glitch

Sloppy Crapmonster
Alert

I'm more impressed that you get what you pay for than anything else.

(8Mb/s=1MB/s)

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Saudi royals seek ban on .virgin, .sex, .catholic, .wtf and 159 MORE

Sloppy Crapmonster
Happy

Re: .dot?

aitch tee tee pee colon slash slash slashdot dot forwardslash ?

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