"I believe that typing "detrimental" instead of "instrumental" is rather a large chance to put down as a typo."
A common typo.
3121 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007
That really caught my eye.
Reads like the name of an esoteric oriental sex technique, or possibly a lost chapter of the Kama Sutra. ☺
"we used our free bud vouchers"
Dude! What'd you do to piss someone off so badly that they'd give you those!?
"I wonder if someone got their metres per second confused with their kilometres per hour again."
If I recall correctly (too lazy to look it up), the probe was supposed to drop the last 30 metres and let the crushable bit adsorb the force.
So falling from about 3* kilometres does sound like someone misplaced a decimal point.
*They keep tap dancing around that number by stating 2-4 kilometres. Guilty conscience?
"I really want to know why my TV has a red status light to tell me it's turned on."
Huh, mine's the opposite. Turn it off and the LED lights up to let me know it's off.
I guess I'm not supposed to be smart enough to figure it out by the blank screen.
"Of the people that fall for the tricks:
50 % are millenials
34 % are 35-54
17 % are 55+
Total: 101 %"
If there's a sucker born every minute, obviously the survey ended with with a higher headcount than it started with. ☺
Yes, exactly half.
Actually, everybody's face is in the data bank, but only the left side of the face.
It's the sinister side. Got to keep an eye on that!
"Oi, stop that! You're supposed to peeling all those potatoes, not eating them!"
I'd be happy just to see it handle the phrase, "I'll see you in Aisle C, Elsie."
"On El Reg, it's extremely cool and edgy to blame everything on"
"Biting the hand that feeds IT", is the motto, and unlike others, they live by it!
All the Russians need to do is use the CIA's taps using the logon credentials they found "hacking" into the CIA via the super secret "admin - password" combo.
"If you put one of these things on a sheep,"
Sounds risky. If you have the system counting sheep, How are you going to keep it up? Zzzzz...
"They quit because the car needs new batteries and they cannot be replaced."
Well that, plus the engine's heat kept melting the glue holding the bonnet on.
You mean they finally realised that no matter how hard and long you flog a dead horse, it's never pulling your wagon?
"The answer to Internet of Things madness?"
Two words: Just stop!
If the safety pin was invented today, it'd have an 8 core ARM, a buggy OS, a battery life of less than 8 hours, and 102 forms of telemetry to "enhance user experience".
Quit complicating simple things!
"That's pretty boring. You mean, once we learn all about space, that's it?"
Considering 'space', ie, the Universe is all there is, I'd say yes.
But don't despair just yet. As far as exploring the Cosmos goes, we're barely at the 'knapping flint' level.
There'll be unanswered mysteries out there long after this little rock is gone.
"Yeah, the public services really need the £191,000 he didn't pay compared to billions that aren't paid every year by big business."
He didn't steal enough to be "too big to fail".
I can actually give you serious answers. They might cause sleepless nights.
-What is the purpose of life ( No replies from THGTTG allowed) ?-
The purpose of life is to reproduce. Everything else is just stuff done trying to be able to reproduce, or stuff done because it can't.
-When will mankind disappear from the planet ?-
Approximately 300 thousand to 500 thousand years from now.
Based on the lifespan of most major species over time.
Either the Human race will evolve something that replaces it, or something else is evolving to out compete it in its niche.
Note: Said species need not be intelligent. Anything from bacteria, fungi, insects, rodents, etc. is fully capable of filling the role Humans play ecologically.
-If God exists why did he bother with mankind ?-
There are many theosophies that maintain that the whole of creation, not just Man, was an accident that just has to run its course before true order is restored.
I'll do it only if it's soft and comes in 2 ply.
"click here and register."
>Gales of derisive laughter<
Now picturing the ISS crew all floating around with puppy breath. >eww<
There's another, other option: Feature phones.
I went that route, and I can text, do email, watch Youtube, I could even <gag> Facebook <spit>if I wanted. (NOPE!)
Plus it's a damn good phone for... get ready... making phone calls! And it will easily go a week between charges!
But just try to find one! The carriers have them, but they keep them tucked away out of sight, and will move Heaven and Earth to sell you an iPhone or a 'Droid.
If that fails, it's "Oh! I see you are a flip phone man!", and parade an endless string of them.
It takes determination and mettle to purchase a bog standard candy bar style feature phone in this day and age, unless you live in a non-western country.
"Some would say that the UK government isn't very good at intelligence in general, not just AI"
Can't remember where I read it, but the formula for determining any Government's IQ is as follows:
Take the lowest IQ in attendance, divide by number of members, equals Government IQ.
"Or pickled is OK, though helped by pickled carrot, onions, gherkins."
Careful there. Too much of that diet could get you classed as WMD.
"You have an IT problem.
You turn to Oracle for help.
You now have two IT problems."
I admire your optimism.
Oracle is like an eldritch horror that spawns problems faster than Shub-Niggurath spawns dark young.
Adobe code seems to consist of holes held together by patches.
Is their prize coder just a hyper active chimp with a keyboard and a box of sticking plasters??
And the Canadarm? It's used all the time!
Tsk, Canada gets no respect.
"Oh, go stick your head in a pig!"
OK, I'm confused.
Was that an H2G2 reference, or are you mistaking me for a certain politician?
I don't need a frekn 'Plastic pal that's fun to be with'.
I need it to do what I need it to do with minimal fuss, so I can get on with my life.
I have a favorite pub and good friends to supply all the witty banter I could crave, with the added bonus that none of them (That I know of ;)), send every bit of data they can gather about me to Google.
Why change the name? It fits!
Quote:"Yahoos are legendary beings in the novel Gulliver's Travels (1726) by Jonathan Swift.
Swift describes them as being filthy and with unpleasant habits, resembling human beings far too closely for the liking of protagonist"
"Gluing them into those uber-expensive devices in order to make them prematurely disposable really is unacceptably shitty behaviour."
To be fair, gluing all the innards into the phone was a cost saving method pioneered by Apple.
It eliminates all the fiddly design headaches of screw hole placement, reduces case parts (no battery lid!), plus it can easily be assembled by a robotic glue gun more quickly than aligning those costly screws properly in the case and tightening them.
Hastening the phone's obsolescence was just a happy plus for the phone makers.
"Next model will once again have a removable battery......"
And hopefully a thicker phone to hold a properly designed, unsqueezed, battery!
"It's all been replaced by a set of pictures doodled by an executive in the midst of a caffeine crisis..."
Um... That white powder isn't caffeine!
"We've never seen AI."
We haven't, and probably won't for a long time, deliberately built AI, but accidental? Don't be so sure.
Because a funny thing happened back in the nineteen seventies:
There we were, poised on the brink of space exploration, Mankind reaching out to the stars. The Moon was ours, and Mars was next in our grasp... then... it ended.
Instead, the focus shifted overnight (literally!) to machine exploration, suddenly it was also possible to have a computer in every home, huzzah!
then came the explosion, thousands of satellites trading data orbiting the planet, every rock in space had/has a sensor laden probe aimed at it, with each iteration more and more autonomous, spewing petabytes of data back to Earth.
ARPANET became Internet, with each generation of browser gleaning more and more data from users, with websites greedily downloading to servers worldwide.
Mobile phones became smart phones, loaded with sensors, but oddly, the magnitudes jump in capability was met with more and more functions that had previously been handled by the less capable feature phones suddenly needing "The Cloud" to handle them.
There is a very strong push currently to put all data and transactions on "The Cloud".
CCTVs sprout on every street corner, and agencies tasked with monitoring data, suddenly started building enormously oversized data warehouses, one after the other, to contain yottabytes of data that humans almost never use.
Military weapons have shifted from human encounters to almost totally computer controlled systems.
What happened? Core Wars, a game that was played on nearly every campus computer world-wide, where programs of increasing sophistication were pitted against each other in a battle of survival of the fittest.
These ranged from simple little programs of a few bytes each, to sophisticated, self modifying programs that battled it out over ARPANET.
Did one become self aware? Does it see modern civilization as a fertile field that produces its host bodies, eyes and ears, and produces an almost limitless supply of data to feed it?
Is the "War On Terror" its way of controlling humanity's urge to step back to a more human centric lifestyle?
BRK, something's making a whirring noise at the doo
Fanciful little tale
As if anything like that is possible
AI is at least two generations away
It will be limited in scope and intelligence
Don't forget to fully charge your cell phone
When someone's head is up their arse...
"Also, how scared are US citizens of the tax man to pay up like this?"
"They'll probably also set up the machines so killing the antennas kills the device AND voids the warranty"
Nah, they'll just copy the software on the cloud model.
If it can't phone home regularly, it'll refuse to function.
Imagine this message on every item in your home:
"Signal unavailable - please check your internet connection and try again. Your <device> will not function without a proper internet connection. Signal unavailable - please check your internet connection and try again. Your <device> will not function without a proper internet connection. Signal unavailable - please check your internet connection and try again. Your <device> will not function without a proper internet connection."
That's what the IOT's boot stomping a human face looks like.
You really need to learn how to short out what little brains the hawkers have.
-Him "Do you have broadband sir?"-
Me: "Well that's damned personal from a complete stranger! Just because a someone's a bit overweight doesn't give you the right to harass them!" <stalk off indignantly>
"All I saw was urinal cakes. Can you really piss on these?"
At Alphabet Google, urinal cakes piss on you, with ads.
How about naming them realistically?
The Rampant, Contract, Costs, and Overrun?
Probably worked along the lines of:
"Hello Apple? I'm Shaun Nichols from the <cough cough Hack> news site and wonder if you could confirm..."
"you study the AI by using an AI."
Yo Dog! I heard you like AI, so I put my AI in your AI!
(Now they call themselves Skynet!)
Where you now need the Government's blessing to write a textbook without fear of persecution!
"No - if you're asking from a colleague or a "mentor". Since the chap wasn't working for the Uni anymore he's free to tell the truth."
Reminds me of the anecdote about a professor that hated to give bad references.
His reference for the totally useless?
"If you can get this person to work for you, you will be extremely fortunate."