1454 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007
Re: 500,000 Batter Packs
And this is why I'm so reluctant to hit the corrections link.
I'd miss out on lots of this type of banter!
They ought to do it like the big boys do:
Study finance and business management in college.
Then get hired as a bank manager.
Work your way as high as possible through schmoozing, ass kissing and double dealing.
Then once in position, use every legal/quasi legal/illegal trick to pump them suckers dry for billions!
True, it might take 30 to 40 years to get to the point where you can pull off the heist, but if you're not caught until that point, Instead of being arrested, you'll be given billions more to keep your hosts alive while you keep draining them!*
*Caveat: Does not apply to Iceland banks. There, you *will* be jailed when caught, and the people you robbed bailed out!
(What is wrong with their Government?)
"they have seen enough to know to stay the fuck away from us."
Or they're just following their prime directive:
"Any species that laughable will left to their own development because we don't want to ruin the joke."
Re: Just wondering
Obviously, Matt Cameron's rendition of 'Puberty Love'!
"Start the record player! Everybody, Cover your ears!"
Reminds me of why we lock our car doors in the summer
If you don't, you come back to a car full of zucchini and tomatoes.
(These could be a tad more welcome than a U2 song popping up on your shuffle mode though.)
Sounds like typical buyers remorse.
"How dare, HOW DARE they let me waltz in here and buy this whilst screaming 'Shut up and take my money!', when they knew I was an idiot!"
You won't find me on Google maps
But I'm hardly worried about it, since all the relevant delivery/emergency services know where I am.
Google my address, it points at wrong end of the road. All addresses on this street point to that one house.
Follow Google maps, and the road they show turns up a neighbors driveway and ends. Half the street isn't even shown.
It isn't like this is a new road either, it and several of the houses date back to the eighteen-forties.
Live streaming webcams!
"Intellifridge? What would be the point of that? You'd never be able to watch it with the door shut."
But, You'll never have to open the door with Intellifridge!
Live streaming webcams on each shelf give you a panoramic view of all the contents streamed live to your iPhone (coming soon to Android) where ever you may be!
Plus, with Intellifridge's exclusive app, you get out patented Expiro-meter, which will show you a running countdown to show you just how long you have before each item in your Intellifridge hits its end of shelf life! and then, posts to your Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ accounts to remind you you that Intellifridge has already ordered more, and notified your Intellidoor to unlock so the delivery person can enter your home to clean and restock your Intellifridge without you having to lift a finger!
Intellifridge, It's easy! it's convenient! And of so PROFITABLE for us*.
*Note: By installing Intellifridge, you give us, the CON-glomerate Corporation, exclusive, life long access to any and all data we acquire about you, your family, neighbors and friends, and authourise us to sell it to any and all purchasers at a reasonable price.
Body parts missing?
Yeah, stump the band night was taken more literally back then!
Mind, I was talking about a real watch, not one of those inconvenient wrist wearable phone accessories with no battery life, day blind screen, and a dozen functions few people'll ever use
"So you're saying it should have been 'Digital Knob'??? ;)"
I think that's the normal person's name for 'wearable tech enthusiast'.
"When you get down to it, lifting your wrist to your face is not much more convenient than reaching into a pocket."
2.glance down, see time
1. reach in pocket, pull out phone (try not to drop it if moving)
2. activate screen
3. hold phone up to face, see time
4. put phone back in pocket (try not to drop it again if moving)
Um, I think the wristwatch wins this one.
Re: Marketing Hype vs. Desirability
"Nobody could genuinely be such an iDiot."
You'll get far fewer shocks in life by never underestimating the depths of stupidity.
(Hint: it's bottomless.)
Re: Thanks MS
"Productivity keeps going down with each more complex package and OS."
So, they're succeeding in being more like Facebook then.
MS finally gets one right!
Re: I've Grown Accustomed To That Face
I was mentally picturing a Walking Dead chess set.
With the living on one side and the properly decaying zombies on the other.
Re: Doing More With Less
Ironically, around the turn of the last century, it was the automobile that was praised as the end of city pollution just because of this.
Petrol stations miles apart to replace those stables on every corner, fields now available to feed a growing human population instead of feeding horses, and millions saved in waste disposal and disease prevention because cars only produce exhaust that disperses on the wind instead of tons of manure.
Of course, 50 years later, the auto had become just as bad as horses, and the nostalgic and clueless were pining for the good old days of horses everywhere.
Re: Meh @goldcd
"No way he can get identical parts today"
No? Then What's this?: http://www.willegal.net/appleii/apple1-kit.htm
Kits, parts, and likewise.
Re: And yet...
Well, to be fair, he'd look a lot less like an idiot if he wasn't constantly buzzing about the planet on chartered jets to tell people that they need to reduce their carbon footprint.
(Oh, if only someone had invented some type of network to disseminate information globally from a single location!)
"From 1964? Ancient? Thanks ever so much, I'm ancient too!"
Well, to be fair, technology ages a lot quicker than us mere mortals.
A 25 year old human is just hitting its stride, while some 25 year old tech needs archeological forensics to decipher.
Not all investments are good ones.
Re: Still missing critical feature
Seriously, can't they put a pop up flap on top, and design the charging station to insert a duct to.. well, hoover out the robo-hoover while it's charging?
Re: I have to wonder what exactly this beast ate!
A personal theory of mine is that some dinosaurs must have had a gut flora similar to that of termites that helped break down cellulose into something more manageable.
Interesting contrast here
A Reg article about the innovations and improvements on Samsung's new phones, followed by an article about Apple fanbois paying thousands for the honor of queuing up to by an iPhone they know nothing about (literally, they don't even know for sure if it even exists).
I... really don't know what to say, actually.
Re: Misuse of Word
"We the congoscenti will either have to find an alternative to replace the original meaning of hacker. How about code artiste or vim jockey or extreme keyboarder or even god forbid programmer?"
Well, I've always liked the sound of Kludge-meister!
Re: incoherent and annoying?
Most adults as well.
Re: *All* TV programs?
"OK, I'll bet that the 'code' shown was nothing to do with the story,"
Sometimes, it was actually the code that was run to generate the screens graphics:
From the site:
"From classic Doctor Who episode The Twin Dilemma. The source is BBC Basic, and it controls what is on the screen later in the scene. "
In those low budget days, it was, "Waste not, want not".
Trust your data to the cloud they said
It'll be safe and convenient they said.
Re: Tea in the US South
"Boil 1/2 gallon water. Add 6 cups sugar. Add ice. Serve."
Not quite, at least around here. You need twice as much sugar, plus they (Blasphemy!) add a tea like substance to the cold water, then boil them together.
The result is the most cloying and bitter concoction ever passed off as tea.
What I'd like to see.
And I mean really, really, REALLY want to see is Ballmer in a mascot suit, just being Ballmer at halftime!
(Hell, I might even watch a game for once just to see that!)
Anybody notice how screwed we are?
First, This quote:
"The FTC isn't going to use any of the idea to build its own system to pull the plug on robocallers. Instead it hopes private companies will use the techniques the contest produced to make products"
Knowing Corporate mindset, the technique most likely to be used is this:
"The second phase, which the FTC called Attacker, "called on contestants to pretend to be robocallers and work out a way to avoid honeypots built to entrap them. Jan Volzke, CEO of anti-phone spam firm NUMBERCOP took the $3,133.70 with an Android robocall-dialer named "Droid Rachel," that was able to avoid honeypots."
FTC, what hath thou wrot?
Re: Laws need to be passed
"Being sentenced to live in a place with 24/7 Justin Bieber music would be a good punishment."
Eeeww! Just hang'em. It'd be more merciful!
Re: Fail. Fail. Fail.
"So your saying there's a chance."
There's always a chance. In this case I'd say about the time pigs flying through hell start crashing due to snowball barrages.
Re: Well, no I'm not in favour of thumping people as a general rule but.......
"It would be as mad as a stranger walking up to you and asking "can I take your photo", it just isn't going to happen"
About as mad as being paranoid that lamp posts would want your picture, eh?
And yet, there the cameras are.
And like the lamppost. it isn't the person wearing the glass that's the problem, it's who's monitoring at the other end.
Disclaimer: I wasn't born paranoid, but recent events show it's the best policy.
Re: What's a dectector?
Um, One tenth of a tector?
Re: Not the same bunch that didn't realize shared servers on one IP?
To quote some old parable from long ago:
"Why are you so bad at this? You're the cream of the crop!"
A voice from the back: "Scum also rises."
Re: Interesting times
"In science, you can't prove a theory to be true. You can only prove it false.
But you also can't prove a negative, so where does that leave us?"
Same place science has always been: Building on the work of previous researchers, trying to build a platform high enough to glimpse the far-off ocean of Truth.
Re: ooh the irony
"Reduces their operating budget I'm guessing?"
Has anyone considered the leaks might happen for just that purpose?
Any budget surplus left over after the fiscal year is 'lost', and may lead to a budget cut the following year.
So... "We're having trouble getting this years budget spent!"
"Here, leave this laptop in your car and park it in front the Sleazy Pub with the windows down. There's enough sensitive data on it that the fines should cover the surplus!"
"Genius! No wonder you're the boss!"
Re: Ronald Reagan Ballistic Missile Defense Test Site?
Hey, at least under Reagan, We had a country tried and convicted of terrorist activities!
Whoops! It was the USA!
So it insidiously coerces you to play the game a certain way, by rewarding 'proper' moves with less lag and punishing 'wrong' moves with more lag.
Ingenious, most players won't even realise that they're being controlled!
Have no idea what this was about
I was totally enthralled by that itty-bitty plush El Reg logo coffee cup!
Someone has some serious sewing skills!
That no one's linked to this yet:
Re: The sad thing for Microsoft is ...
"When they finally get it right, someone else will copy it, only cheaper."
Um... Wasn't that the original intent?
Microsoft creates showcase tablets to show what Win 8 can do, then the real Manufacturers release tablets to an awe-struck world.
But it seems like MS has been left standing alone in the pitch holding the ball because no one else wants to play with them.
Re: Gee, d'ya think?
And here I was looking at the geological survey maps to see if there was a river that could be diverted through Redmond! :)
"They're also less well known than the Mars ones."
Eh, they've had a bad rep since NASA showed they water their drinks.
As addicted to recycling as MS is, it'd probably be called:
Internet Metr... er, Internet Modern
or, to build on past success, Internet for Workgroups 3.11
Re: Council Exorcists.
"A psychic was paid £60 by a council to rid a County Durham home of a "poltergeist" after ghostly goings-on."
Meh, I would have done it for a free lunch.
I can absolutely guarantee that no house I have ever been in has ever demonstrated provable supernatural phenomenon afterwards*.
*Or previous to my visit for that matter, but people hate to hear that!
looks like it would have been a hole in one if it hadn't cut right on the green!
Well, according to a lot of soldiers on the front lines overseas, The Ferguson Police are better armed against protesters than they are against enemy combatants:
(BTW, somebody just forwarded me a tweet that the Ferguson Police have removed their badges and nametags to keep the protesters from identifying them. If true, that's in violation of so many Federal laws!)
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