1221 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007
Re: In case you missed the adverts
"teenage old interns"
Does being an intern at the BBC really age you that fast?
Now we have proof!
All hail the Defiler!
Haven't I heard this song before?
"Our current version of Windows is the bestest, safest, most secure OS in the World!
Unlike the crappy, buggy mess we sold before.
Re: Block 1 of new off-shore tax haven
"moor offshore and the US can just consider the installation an international location and impose taxes, tariffs, customs dues, etc. on anything heading to or coming from there."
Wot, and risk retaliation from the Skynet military forces of the Principality of Schmidtland?
Lather, rinse, repeat
"Stockholders, please stay tuned. There is more to come – much more," Icahn threatened.
Or, "If you call my bluff, I'll be forced to find another company to pester!", Cried Ichan, the belligerent, billionaire beggar.
"If Documentum were to become independent, Pelz-Sharpe comments, then it would have a fresh incentive to fight hard, refresh the product and revive the brand."
Translated:"Our bureaucracy inhibits innovation, so we'll spin it off to fix itself, then re-acquire it when it becomes profitable, then let it stagnate again."
Re: You can't beat script kiddies for an unintentional laugh
'Hack' is such an overused word in the Press anyway.
You might say that "Hacks* hack** vandals as 'hackers'***, hacking**** at true hacker's***** reputation, because they can't hack****** proper journalism."
Now if you'll excuse me, I seem to be suddenly suffering a dry cough.
*Hack - A Hack is a colloquial and usually pejorative term used to refer to a writer who is paid to write low-quality, rushed articles or books "to order", often with a short deadline.
**Hack - Sudden noisy expulsion of air from lungs.
***Hacker - Common hack* press term used to describe someone who seeks and exploits weaknesses in a computer system or computer network.
****Hack - To cut, notch, slice, chop, or sever.
*****Hacker - One who combines excellence, playfulness, cleverness and exploration in performed activities.
******Hack - Slang sense of "cope with" (such as in can't hack it)
" that 11% might also be the people who know a silly survey when they see one, and were really just going for the most entertaining answer each time."
Around here, That description describes the demographic called 'literate'.
(Probably explains why there hasn't been a survey conducted around here since the nineties.)
Re: The problem with Bitcoin @justin - it has no sponsor
"But it is worse bitcoin does not have any strong sponsor backing up it's value."
So you're suggesting something like "iBucks", "Amazon Gold", "Google Cash", "Windows Dollars 8.1 Home and Office", or "Oracle Coins", then?
Ew, I just had a chill... going to go hide under the covers for awhile.
Re: Government by the people?
"I guess the US can now stop pretending it's a democracy .."
Nope all that's come to pass has been voted on and passed by elected representatives, it truly is democracy (at its worst) in action.
Now the USA as a true republic*... That has loong since passed.
*A republic is a form of government in which power is held by the people and representatives they elect, and affairs of state are a "public matter" (from Latin: res publica), rather than privately accommodated.
Re: Spy vs Spy
Bah, My money's on the grey spy. http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111219225111/spyversusspy/images/7/74/1649315-spy_large.jpg
While Black and White are beating each other up, she always gets the goods!
(And is much easier on the eyes) ;)
Re: Sounds about right
"I'll publically admit to knowing very little about MS Windows, so my response when asked about slow-running Windows computers is usually something along the lines of "I can wipe the disk and install Linux if you like."
You're supposed to use the "mindless fanboi" icon when posting that. Unless you were being sarcastic - there's an icon for that, too."
Chill, it's a survival trick, one that I've learned to use myself after nearly chewing my own eyes out* while helping someone fix their mess.
Now I just say "Sorry, I don't run Windows myself, can't help you."
*You really, REALLY, don't want to know the details!
Ballmer's "one trick" was to be put in charge after the shoals were passed and all was clear sailing ahead. All he had to do was pick a direction, and sail.
Instead, he was content for years to let MS drift on momentum, taking whatever came across the bow.
Then, when other ships appeared, sailing strongly toward their destinations, he grabbed the wheel and started yanking it this way and that trying to follow all of them at once, still getting nowhere.
Hopefully the new guy has a direction to steer and a port in mind somewhere this side of Never land.
Re: Typically ignorant management response
"nobody gets promoted for preventing 'screwing-up'. Nobody gets promoted for taking preventative actions"
Twas ever thus; Take the time to do it right, you get yelled at by management for being slow, then either laid off or forgotten.
Slap something together in no time that falls over every six weeks, then to management, you're the hero that save the day every six weeks.
That wasn't what I meant...
When I said, "Take that camera and stick it!"
Hate crime? PFFFFFT!
This kind of thing happens all the time;
a.Someone goes 'slumming' in seedy bars, looks like they have some bucks. (terminology: 'The Mark')
b. The 'diversion' causes a scene with the mark, drawing them out of the bar.
c. The mark returns to the bar, can't find valuables... "Nobody saw nothing, honest! Besides, you started it!"
Re: One Thing Leads to Another
Maybe Japan'll be nice and lend them Godzilla.
He's kicked smog's butt before!
"of course UK judges don't have gavels."
Re: Some tricks up his sleeve?!
"I'd show up in a polkadot shirt."
Nah, Get one of those narrow striped shirts that 'strobe' in a camera.
That'd probably throw the 'bot into a tizzy.
"I don't understand why the wheels would sustain less damage when moving in reverse."
Well, obviously, You're now backing away from the bumps instead of driving over them!
"We can't even make a toupee that doesn't get laughed at so how come we can do this?"
Hey, just train a badger to sit on your head. Nobody'll make fun of it... at least within earshot of the badger!
Re: 18kg? No match for a hooligan!
In fact, they'll probably end up being used as weapons by said hooligans.
"Oi need som'tin heavy ta throw... Er, here comes one now!"
"Jobs has not been sighted in obscure truck stops around the nation."
Well, he'd hardly be likely to, wouldn't he? Trendy coffee shops seem more his thing.
Of course the problem with that is, if he was sighted, his picture'd be on Facebook and Twitter before you could say 'rounded corners'.
Re: Freaked out ...
"This technology must have been out for ages. How else do you explain my inbox being full of baldness cures, weight loss pills and impotence remedies?"
Well it needs tweaking then. I need neither penis enlargement nor increased bust size, But there's a good chance if I did need one, I wouldn't need the other!
Re: Ball & chain
Prior art to ball steering mechanism: http://www.historyvortex.org/DalekAnatomy.html
And they tend to settle out of court, the hard way!
In news from the future:
"A tractor trailer carrying Builder Blox Bots overturned on Hiway One today, causing a multi car pile up.
Rescue efforts have been hampered by scattered bots attempting to build a Starbucks around the crash scene."
In other words:
US judge rules that ads are bullshit, gullible people aghast.
Re: My favorite version
Oops, can't edit for some reason. Just wanted to add: Konami code!
My favorite version
MLP: FIM fan version
Just one of the perks of online publishing; Crowd-sourced proofreading.
Re: "Patch Tuesdays" for cars?
"ONLY if the car maker used Windows For Automobiles."
Aw, HELL NO! No way I'm taking a tonne of steel down the highway controlled only by a touchscreen oriented OS!
Sounds like he's having an "In MY day" moment.
Did he end the speech with, "Now get off my lawn!"?
Re: Collective noun for users of this API
BOO! Hiss! (Upvotes)
MORE POWER, IGOR!
"Is this little more than aggressive begging?"
You've finally nailed a handle to his business model!
"Icahn, The annoying Billion Dollar Beggar."
"Before they make the jump they need to talk to the pros. Start with Bo and Luke Duke"
response: "Gun it, and hit the horn to play 'Dixie'!"
Re: Jobs for the boys
"Presumably he was the only contender who looks like Steve Jobs."
I *knew* I couldn't be the only one thinking that!
Obviously, they collapsed the quantum state by measuring it.
"This is a spoof of those linkbait sites"
Yeah, I got it... I still stand by my original post.
Lame idea is still lame.
"BuzzFelch - an automated aggregator which trawls the internet in search of lively tech-related imagery and compiles it into a fantastic numbered list."
Um... Uh... Well it must have seemed like a good idea right before closing time at the pub.
"King's Candy Crusade leaves sour taste in Dev's corner"
"That everyone knows perfectly well what "pretty unique" means"
Yeah, It's that bird in the bar that looks good, as long as she's not standing near any other women.
Hell, I hardly even know her!
"Do marketeers and other noddys have any idea just how small a quantum leap (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atomic_electron_transition) is?"
Of course they do, that's why they use it.
A term that means the least possible change, yet sounds progressive and powerful.
Staggering implications here!
If the rabbit has died... Does that mean the Moon is pregnant?
Re: "Windows phone = loser"?
"Oh....and change their name - Microsoft - its so 1980's - time for a radical rebrand."
No way that'd turn out well with their branding history:
"We need something catchy and edgy, but familiar, something that links to out best successes, like Win XP and Xbox."
Two years later:
"Ladies and gentlemen, businesses of the world, today the Microsoft era of old passes, and we reinvent ourselves for a new Future. From this day forward, we stride across the world as a mighty colossus of business, a paragon of innovation and technological prowess the world will know as... "
<Orchestral Fanfare, Balloons and doves released over the city as two hundred show jets zoom over the conference in dazzling aerobatics>...
Re: Sitting On Their Hands
"Nokia must have just sat on their hands whilst the rest of them developed and improved the basic function of a mobile phone"
Um... Ever see one of those cartoons where Daffy Duck gets freaked and runs in ten different directions at once and gets nowhere? That was Nokia just pre-Elop.
All they needed was strong leadership to grab the reins and steer the whole team in one direction. Instead they got someone that parked the carriage on the tracks and cut the horses loose, saying. "No worries, that train'll push us like the wind!"
Snuggies, dummies, booties, and other clothes and accessories for babies.
Of course, this may lead to charges of 'corrupting minors'.
Re: This event that's happening now happened a long time ago
Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away.
So six years from now, we see a second one go boom?
- The land of Milk and Sammy: Free music app touted by Samsung
- 20 Freescale staff on vanished Malaysia Airlines flight MH370
- The long war on 'DRAM price fixing' is over: Claim YOUR spoils now (It's worth a few beers)
- Dell thuds down low-cost lap workstation for
cheapfrugal creatives or engineers
- NSFW vid LOHAN chap hooks up with busty stratominx in cosmic pleasure cruise