* Posts by Captain DaFt

2833 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

US Senate strikes down open-access FBI hacking warrant by just one honest vote

Captain DaFt
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Two thirds majority rule, aka Supermajority.

57 votes would have shy the minimum. Yes, it does sound wonky, but it gives them the chance to claim they were for the majority, but those >other party< managed to defeat it.

They're full of tricks like that. They used to vote themselves a payraise every year, until it became a hot topic with the public.

So they quietly passed a law that they get an automatic raise unless they vote against it, and never voted on payraises again.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: They're now using Orlando as an excuse? Really?

"The longer I live, the more I believe our government is now run by idiots instead of the crooks they used to be."

They learned that you can get away with more if you appear incompetent, rather than conniving. That's all.

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What do Tor, Tails and Caddy have in common? Mozilla bucks

Captain DaFt
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Good work Mozilla

Kudos for helping Open source projects.

Now, If you'd just pull a Muntz on Firefox, and bring back the browser experience that swept the World.

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Musk's Tesla to buy Musk's SolarCity for US$2.8 billion

Captain DaFt
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Translation

"The deal's attracted criticism already. The Wall Street Journal reckons it “defies common sense”, while Barron's complains about the share dilution involved."

Yields;

"Now we will be unable to siphon off all the cash from this value asset that we feel entitled to!"

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Cloudian clobbers car drivers with targeted ads

Captain DaFt
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Re: So how long

"before we can purchase targeted ad-blockers?"

Eh, those things are never secure, so:

Passenger in car takes smartphone, uses wifi to log into billboard with "Admin" and "password".

Has billboard log into pronworld.net/classics/debbydoesdallas.mp4*, selects stream.

Change billboard's login to something very secure and logs off.

Problem sorted.

*Not a real weblink, sorry guys. :)

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Two words

Two more:

AND DIE!

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Top boffins detail how to save the open internet from breaking itself

Captain DaFt
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Late report or time travel?

"The internet could go one of three paths in the next decade, according to an elite group of policymakers: open and global; unequal and uneven; or dangerous and broken."

It looks like option three has been the default for about thirty years now, if most tech headlines are anything to go by.

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Bees with numberplates will soon be buzzing around London. Why?

Captain DaFt
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OW! SUMMABEYATCH!

Anybody get the number of the bee that stung me?

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Captain DaFt
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Rooby dooby DOO! - Scooby Doo

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Lone hacker claims to have broken into US Democrat servers

Captain DaFt
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Lone hacker claims to have broken into US Democrat servers

Frankly, I believe him.

Probably all it took was a "LOLZ, Click here to see what Dummy Trump effed up today" email attachment.

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Laser probers sniff more gravitational waves from mega black hole smash

Captain DaFt
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The equivalent of our sun's mass being totally converted to energy in an (for all practical purposes) instant.

Hey Marvin, There's your "Earth shattering KABOOM!"

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GitHub presses big red password reset button after third-party breach

Captain DaFt
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Illusion of security

Too many people will have one complicated password that they've committed to memory, then use it everywhere.

One compromised site later, they're wide open to hackers online.

Better to have simpler passwords (But Not stupidly common ones) unique to each site.

Much better to use a password manager that stores the encrypted passwords on your own machine. Secure it with a complicated password committed to memory, and keep a hardcopy of all passwords in hardcopy, somewhere safe, just in case something happens to your machine.

(Learned that last lesson the hard way, when the computer crashed mid backup, and managed to trash the backup as well as itself. Murphy is a bitch!)

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Captain DaFt
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Re: I don't have a phone

"Apparently that's where the smartphone fits into our society."

Someone on another site had a comment appros of this

(paraphrased, I can't remember where i read it):

-Back in the seventies, if the government insisted all citizens carried a tracking device, it would have sparked major protests. Today people spend hundreds to own one, for the convenience of online access.-

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Biz security deadline knocked back 3 months 'cos Brits ignored it

Captain DaFt
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The delay'll only make it worse

The businesses know they have Bacs Payment Schemes Limited over a barrel.

If it cuts them off because they don't update, it'll lose money and/or customers, at least short term.

So they thumbed their noses, called the bluff, and sure enough, an extension.

In three months, it'll be "lather, rinse, repeat" until it finally costs the businesses more not to update.

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Mozilla's guide to fun parties

Captain DaFt
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But 19th-century Aviators? Puh-lease!

>Ahem< Sir George Cayley, not to mention the golden age of ballooning (started in the 18th century!), by the time of the American Civil War, had advanced to aerial reconnaissance.

The sky was actually getting a bit busy in the eighteen hundreds.

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Typewriter for iPad review

Captain DaFt
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I... actually like this.

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Reavers! Google patent would affix pedestrians to car hoods

Captain DaFt
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Re: Ehh

Well, after Fox proved they could take the sky from you, and tried to reanimate its corpse into a movie, everybody just agreed to walk away and not mention it again.

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Forget high-powered PCs, mobile is the future of VR, says Google

Captain DaFt
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Queen's Speech: Ministers, release the spaceplanes!*

Captain DaFt
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Re: Age Verification

"Who is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom?"

e) That miserable [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted], who's [Whoa! you better believe that's redacted!] should be [Crap! redacted, I quit! this job is giving me PTSD]

<--Average adult in UK

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Captain DaFt
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Re: In the light of recent revelations...

"I'm on a homeopathic diet. Six glasses of water a day, each with a drop of Tincture of Steak and Kidney Pudding. It's working great except that sometimes I run out of energggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ..."

Are you mad!? You forgot the tincture of tea!

No wonder you run out of energy!

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Captain DaFt
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"Don't worry though, it's only to protect the children."

Ah yes the 'children:

"We hear echoes of “What about the children?” – The eternal cry of the social and philosophical conservative, but don’t be fooled. When they say “children” they mean you. They mean the poor deluded folks that have the gall to believe or suggest anything outside the currently accepted paradigm." - EsoterX*

*I'll gladly concede he's a bit of a flake, but this quote hits the nail on the head.

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Adpocalypse 'will wipe out display ad growth' by 2020

Captain DaFt
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Adpocalypse

Adpocalypse, Adpocalypse, Now there's a lovely sounding word!

Is there anyway I can help speed it up?

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NASA 'Kilo-Kitty' Super Pressure Balloon goes aloft at last

Captain DaFt
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"Would that be the metric or imperial Goodyear Blimp?"

I believe that Goodyear Blimp is the imperial, and Fuji Blimp is the metric.

Come to think of it, I've never actually seen a Goodyear Blimp in my life, but have seen several Fuji Blimps.

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Hewlett Packard Enterprise hiring temps to cover for redundancies - sources

Captain DaFt
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Re: There's one individual who should have gotten canned

-I think they all should be locked in a room to read "In Search of Excellence"-

You know they'd just end up chewing on the book covers. They're mentally incapable of assimilating the contents otherwise, since it isn't written in marketspeak.

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5% of drivers want Nigel Farage to be their in-car robo butler

Captain DaFt
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Psst, ahem, listen...

Say there's this... ah, 'friend' I'd like to buy a gift for... to, ah, show there's no hard feelings over that little 'prank'.

Can I get him one with Fran Drescher's voice?

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It's all very well hacking ISIS, Barry, but what about your ISA?

Captain DaFt
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Back to back

Just finished reading about how ad merchants are moaning about the 'Adpocalypse' being brought on by ad blockers, and here's one about the increasing rise in ad fraud.

Listen marketeers, if you don't bother to clean up your own mess, you've nobody to blame for the 'Adpocalypse' but yourselves.

Nobody blocks ads to be vicious, or try to starve you children, we do it because it's the only way to surf the web safely and sanely, and without your unwarranted spying on our every keystroke, idiots!

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Help! We're being crushed, cry billionaire cable giants

Captain DaFt
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"Help! We're being crushed cry billionaire cable giants"

Facing actual competition got you scared, deary?

Here's a prepared response of my opinion.

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Time to talk about stupid and preventable failures

Captain DaFt
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"We had a new boss come next week. The old one was given our box of bulk cable, a crimping tool, the box of cable ends, & told to do nothing but make cables until all the supplies were gone. The last I heard was that he quit in disgust, to nobody's loss."

I do love a story with a happy ending. >wipes tear<

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Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff tells Reg data loss 'minimal'

Captain DaFt
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Sign of the Horns

It's also used to ward off the Evil Eye, Used as a "knock on wood" type gesture.

I'd guess that's the context he used. (Security by supernatural?)

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Microsoft boots fake fix-it search ads

Captain DaFt
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Re: A classic case of Driving While Blonde

"Microsoft believes that actual people use Bing."

But you have to admit, the type that's clueless enough to use Bing because "it came with the computer" are the type that'd fall for these scams.

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Want to get $1bn from Apple? Step 1- move to China. Step 2- copy Uber

Captain DaFt
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Re: Ride sharing

Greed.

Original concept; You're going somewhere and willing to take some else along, facilitated by a web app.

Then Uber came along, saw that it was good, and said, "We will monetise this and the IPO will be bountiful!"

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Bots half all web traffic

Captain DaFt
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OK, so if bots are half of all internet traffic, and torrents are half of all internet traffic, and streaming is half of all internet traffic... either someone is bad at percentages, or estimating the size of the internet... or maybe, just maybe, "Half" is the big scare word when you're against something?

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We're calling it: World hits peak Namey McNameface

Captain DaFt
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Re: Watergate McGateface

"What happens if there's another break-in at the Watergate building"

'Watergate-Rebooted', of course.

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Curiosity find Mars' icecaps suck up its atmosphere

Captain DaFt
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Re: Forget and don't worry about dumb space rocks, Dave 126

"the vast majority will cluster where the entertainment is."

Well, the vast majority stayed home in the Old World, But it didn't keep the New World from developing, populating, and innovating, did it?

Once viable colonies are established in space, it'll only be a few generations before off Earth populations out number terrestrial ones.

Lots of potential for 'new beginnings'.

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Ooh missus, get a grip on my notifications

Captain DaFt
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Advantage of being dirty minded

I very rarely get messages with double entendres.

Everyone knows that I'll always message back responding to the wrong meaning, so they're careful about what they type. ;)

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US work visas for international tech talent? 'If Donald Trump is elected all bets are off'

Captain DaFt
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What if the backlashes against both Trump and Hillary pushes Sanders into the White House?

Slim chance that, but the probability is there.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: "We'll see how well that goes"

"If it wasn't for the UK the majority of Americans would be speaking Portuguese/Spanish right now."

Now, now, play fair. At least a third, probably half, of North Americans would be speaking French or Russian.

Alaska, Louisiana territories, Quebec, anyone?

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Adobe...sigh...issues critical patch...sigh...for Flash Player zero day

Captain DaFt
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Re: Amazing

"Flash worked absolutely fine..."

But then, Macromedia was acquired by Adobe Systems in 2005, and it's all been downhill ever since.

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FBI director claims that videoing police is causing crime uptick

Captain DaFt
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People are funny that way

Having more public awareness of police acting badly and receiving nothing more than a slap on the wrist (if that) for the harassment, brutality and deaths they cause just might incline some people to behave badly in return.

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Dwarf planet intumesces before astronomers' gaze

Captain DaFt
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Re: Uh ... intumescence did not occur.

"How do you know it didn't get larger when they looked at it? Maybe it got excited."

So we should name it "Bell End", then?

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Laser-zapping scientists will save the Earth from meteorite destruction

Captain DaFt
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Re: The local neighbourhood has cleared

"You might want to take a look here."

And if charts aren't his thing, here's a nice visual aid from NASA.

For a clear area, it looks a bit busy.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Odds

"I would argue that the odds of this happening is insignificant."

So there's a serial arsonist in your city, but since the odds he'll torch your house today are quite insignificant, you're quite happy to let the city wait until he's approaching your house with a gas can and lighter before they start building a fire department?

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Google open sources Thread in bid to win IoT standards war

Captain DaFt
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Re: "Google is not a closed eco-system kind of company"

"IoT is for Google just another Trojan horse to slurp more data from users."

It's a lot easier to understand the situation if we'd ditch the marketeer "IoT", and called it by its real name: "Home Monitoring and Control".

Then ask yourself whether it's wiser to let a stranger monitor and control your home, or do it yourself.

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Free tool aims to make it easier to find vulns in open source code

Captain DaFt
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Re: DevOps approach to Security

And if it doesn't find something, it's safer to assume it doesn't cover all contingencies (Those pesky unknown unknowns), than to assume your code is 'bug free'.

No such animal for anything much bigger than "Hello World",

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Microsoft kills Sunrise

Captain DaFt
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Any one surprised?

Buy out your software's competitor, promise the sun and moon. Then when nobody's looking, strip its valuables, and chuck it under a bus.

Happens way to often when an upstart threatens the status quo.

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Label your cables: A cautionary tale from the server room

Captain DaFt
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Re: Labels

"being forced to support other, less careful, *bastards*'s"

Urgh, been there, done that.

Get the rep for doing a neat job, and you're the first one called in to fix somebody else's mess.

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Huge embarrassment over fisting site data breach

Captain DaFt
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Don't worry

I'm sure the investigation will get to the bottom of this.

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Congress calls for change to NSA spying law

Captain DaFt
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Re: How many spied on?

-so they can say "we knew about them".-

Oh, you forgot the second half of that; "If we'd had more funding and powers, we could have stopped them!"

It's the same refrain they've been singing since 911. I'd think that by now, even the the most clueless of Congress would be realizing they've heard this song before.

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French duck-crushing device sells for €40k

Captain DaFt
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"So, the outcome is effectively cooked roadkill."

There's naught wrong with roadkill!

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Russia poised to unleash 'Son of Satan' ICBM

Captain DaFt
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Re: But what about the environment?

"The propellant certainly isn't very green..."

But the warheads counteract that.

After they're delivered, everything in the target areas glows green, and you can't get much greener than that!

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