* Posts by Captain DaFt

1714 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

$250K: That's what Lenovo earned to RAT YOU OUT with Superfish

Captain DaFt
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Re: Just goes to show....

">. Sony are out due to rootkit

> Samsung are out due to ad injection & voyeuring via your TV

Er whatever.

Sony stopped making laptops last year and sold the VAIO brand. New VAIO laptops are coming soon.

Samsung stopped selling laptops in Europe last year."

Correlation does not imply causation normally, but maybe A had something to do with B?

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Suckerfish

"I imagine they have alrady lost more than that in sales since it came to light."

Amen! $250,000 would buy what, about 400 laptops?

Wonder how many thousands of sales they'll lose over this?

Definitely a poor investment.

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Forget 1,000 lashes for Facebook posts, Saudis now want to behead blogger Raif Badawi

Captain DaFt
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Re: Just a thought

What I said applies to all religions.

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Captain DaFt
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Just a thought

If you require fear, torture, and execution to keep people faithful to your doctrine of faith, beauty, and benevolence, maybe, just maybe, you're doing something horribly wrong.

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EU: Competition Commissioner met Google chief Schmidt

Captain DaFt
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Re: Relax

"Whatever happens, it's going to take years."

Agreed. There's even a name for it,'Lagging Indicator', in that by the time Government action is taken, the need for it is usually gone.

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Sick of Chrome vs Firefox? Check out these 3 NEW browsers

Captain DaFt
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Re: El Reg readers would agree with this

"what feedback have you given Mozilla on your experience as a result of the changes?"

Simple,like most people, I quit using Firefox.

If that's not feedback enough, tough.

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Atomic keyring's eerie blue glow lights SPB lab

Captain DaFt
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Re: Bought one years ago as a present

"If a cat eats your key ring your house is both locked and unlocked until the keys come out the other end?"

OK, now you got me wondering: If the above happens and you're outside in the pouring rain, do you get half wet?

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SpaceX lofts two all-electric ion-drive comsats to Clarke orbit

Captain DaFt
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Whoa! Those are some industrial looking pieces of machinery!

http://regmedia.co.uk/2015/03/02/stacked_satellites.jpg

Hardly the sleek, shiny, graceful vision of ion propelled vehicles science fiction promised, is it?

But then, these are real, and they (hopefully) work, so I guess I can live without the bling.

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Bradley Horowitz on ailing Google+: Islands in the stream, that is what we are ...

Captain DaFt
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Re: I don't see the point for it

You hit the nail on the head.

Google+ wasn't designed for the benefit of people, it was designed for for the benefit of Google, thus its interactions benefit Google, not the user.

And they're wondering why more people don't use it.

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BOFFINS: Oxygen-free, methane-based ALIENS may EXIST on icy SATURN moon Titan

Captain DaFt
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"How much of a mess has been left on the Moon as of now?"

Quite a lot, actually.

There's a better list list here:

http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2012/12/the-trash-weve-left-on-the-moon/266465/

That includes such niceties as 96 bags of urine, feces, and vomit, empty food containers, and wet wipes, among other trash. The article even has a nice map showing Apollo 11's garbage dump.

We're a very messy species.

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Blockheads bork Bitcoin Foundation board election

Captain DaFt
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Re: Is that called 'eating your own dogfood'?

I think it's called. "Going to the dogs."

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Telly behemoths: Does size matter?

Captain DaFt
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"First remote used had a single 'next channel' button."

But you have to admit; For the time it looked all 'Buck Rogerish" futuristic! <pew pew>

http://www.texarkanagazette.com/content/uploads/pictures/2012/05/Obit-Remote-Control-I_Leml.jpg

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W*nkers of the world unite to SAVE THE PLANET one jerk-off at a time

Captain DaFt
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Not safe for teens?

How well does this cope with hormonally hyperactive teenagers?

"Timmy said his phone needed recharging, plugged it into this strap thingy on his wrist and went to his room."

"Fifteen minutes later there was this horrible explosion that nearly killed him."

An Apple representative was quoted as saying:

"We don't know how, but apparently the phone's battery took an enormous power surge that exceeded all failsafes. We can't stress this enough, don't jerk around with third party chargers."

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El Reg regains atomic keyring capability

Captain DaFt
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Re: Ahem, excuse me...

Underlings laugh,"He-he. He-he-he..."

Masterminds laugh,"Mwah-ha-ha-harr!"

Obviously, he's the underling being used as a cats-paw by his master.

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ANOTHER shake-up at HP Enterprise Services

Captain DaFt
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Apparently they believe if they can rearrange the deck chairs fast enough, the ship'll quit sinking and start to hover.

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Facebook sad-nav: How to put depressed chums on internet suicide watch

Captain DaFt
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"Anything you do here will be kept private."

On Facebook? I'm more than a tad skeptical.

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Microsoft man: Internet Explorer had to go because it's garbage

Captain DaFt
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Here we go again

"Microsoft says it decided to start from scratch with a new web rendering engine for Windows 10"

"I's too much trouble to fix, so let's throw it out and start over", is one of the biggest danger signs in programming, amirite Netscape, Longhorn?

All new bugs, delays, and project over reach predicted whilst we're promised the Sun and Moon on a stick.

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Google to tame Android's Wild Wild West to please suits

Captain DaFt
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Re: Androids and iPhones are great for big businesses...

"Work will be sandboxed from the personal stuff."

Ah, but will personal stuff be safe from work?

Note his example: "Just print out a copy of their smartphone tracking log. "What's this? You visited your grandmother in the hospital for 10 minutes when you said you were traveling to a customer's office? Terminated!"

No personal data accessed, just his personal activities tracked by the work app.

Privacy's a bit more than 'don't look in this box', it's also not tracking someone's every move.

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Gemalto: NSA, GCHQ hacked us – but didn't snatch crucial SIM keys

Captain DaFt
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"Edit: Gemalto say prepay SIMs (and in most cases that means their phones too) are chucked after 3-6 months. O'Rly?"

Well, if they weren't being chucked, they are now!

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I'm the wire starter: ARM, IBM tout plug 'n' play Internet of Stuff kit

Captain DaFt
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"But how do I connect it to a lightbulb?"

Duck Tape!

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: El Reg eggs Benedict

Captain DaFt
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Coat

The only thing missing

was a clean, polished, shiny hubcap to use as a serving dish.

After all, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

*Throws smoke grenade, dives out window.*

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Nvidia U-turns on GTX 900M overclocking after gamer outrage

Captain DaFt
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Re: Laptops

"Mine has amble cooling"

"Is that where the fan runs slow to keep the noise down?"

And here I thought it meant if the laptop overheated, it wandered off looking for someplace cooler.

"Damnedest thing, every time I leave my lappy alone, it somehow ends up in the freezer!"

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'NSA, GCHQ-ransacked' SIM maker Gemalto takes a $500m stock hit

Captain DaFt
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Re: Works For Me

What answer would you expect people to give when someone that appears officialish asks them:

"Do you approve of the NSA's current practices and if not, why not?"

Given today's climate of paranoia?

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El Reg chefs whip up Post-Pub Noshographic

Captain DaFt
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Re: Define 'drunk'

The difference between being drunk and not being drunk the night before can be determined with this little chart:

Wasn't drunk - "Let me tell you what happened last night!"

Was drunk - "What the hell happened last night?"

Was too Drunk - "Where am I officer, and where are my pants?"

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Android malware hijacks power button, empties wallet while you sleep

Captain DaFt
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Re: Let me know

"Let me know When something like this sneaks into the Google Play store."

And it'll definitely be 'when' and not 'if', if not 'already'.

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Hitachi smashes SPC-1 benchmark, boasts: We HAF ways of crushing 2 million IOPs

Captain DaFt
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"The top SPC-1 IOPS benchmark results"

Really? Looks like Ikea designer bookshelves to me.

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Hello Barbie: Hang on, this Wi-Fi doll records your child's voice?

Captain DaFt
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"My name's Talking Barbie, and you'd BETTER be nice to me!

Or the men in the black van will waterboard your mommy and daddy!"

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Torvalds turns to Sir Mix-A-Lot for Linux versioning debate

Captain DaFt
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Re: I hate to be a whining prude...

"Pointless NSFW images will very quickly put me off this site." says Lusty.

I must admit my brain boggled slightly at this.

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Boffins baffled by the glowing 'plumes' of MARS

Captain DaFt
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Solar wind powered hoover at work?

http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2008/21nov_plasmoids/

http://www.universetoday.com/21315/mars-atmospheric-bubbles-carried-away-by-the-solar-wind/

Theory is that Mar's magnetic spots could react with the solar wind resulting in Mars's atmosphere being hoovered off.

Maybe we just witnessed such an event?

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Your hard drives were RIDDLED with NSA SPYWARE for YEARS

Captain DaFt
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Re: Grzegorz Brzeczyszczykiewicz

"Grzegorz Brzeczyszczykiewicz"

Now there's a man that would seriously injure himself if he ever tried to 'write' his name on a snowbank!

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Captain DaFt
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"flexed their full remote access control over infected machines only for high value targets."

Which recent history has shown to be anything/one that is not NSA.

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Amazon's delivery drones SHOT DOWN by new FAA rules

Captain DaFt
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"with this legislation, cargo drones cannot possibly turn up to be treated properly by the law, because they're already banned."

In the USA. However. other countries with less restrictive legislation will get delivery drones, and in twenty years, The American Congress will be howling over how ever could the US with all its advantages have slipped so far behind the rest of the world in all fields of technology.

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An NSA spy, a Fed and a sysadmin walk into a bar – that's Prez Obama's new cyber-security order

Captain DaFt
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Re: Social engineering taken to a new level

"Give The NSA all your data and free reign on your systems and they'll let you know if you've been hacked."

Joe: "... So?"

NSA: "What?"

Joe: "Are my systems compromised?"

NSA: "They are now, sucker!"

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ATTENTION SETI scientists! It's TOO LATE: ALIENS will ATTACK in 2049

Captain DaFt
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They might have the wrong end of the stick

Everyone instantly assumes superior alien invaders.

But... what if our chaotic, dog-eat-dog biosphere has actually produced the most dangerous being in the galaxy... Us?

Other civilizations out there could well be agreeing among themselves:

"SHH! keep quiet, don't answer their signal, otherwise they'll be off their planet in no time, and once they're loose, there'll be no stopping them!"

See this thread: http://tmblr.co/Z1qxwr1TvaJw3

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KUSHINIKIZA! Google Translate SAVES BABY in Irish roadside birth

Captain DaFt
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Re: Bloody lucky they had a signal

"waving the phone in one hand and sacrificing a chicken with the other, at which point the gods of telephony give me one bar for 3.8 seconds before they start giggling and take it away again."

Obviously, you displeased the Gods by choking the chicken improperly.

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NO BRAIN needed to use Samsung's next flagship mobe

Captain DaFt
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Who's the boss of you?

The problem with the phone doing the thinking for you is that, it's not really the phone is it?

It's the company you get the phone from doing the thinking for you via proxy.

And whose best interests do you think they're looking out for?

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SWINGBELLIES! Take heed AGAIN: Booze shortens your life

Captain DaFt
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Re: begs the question

"Methodists I know regularly exceed the recommended weekly maximum units."

Hence the old doggerel:

"When Methodist ministers roll into town

A-preachin' that drinkin' is sinful

I'll wager the rascals the ha' o' a crown

They always preach best with a skinful!"

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Hacker kicks one bit XP to 10 Windows scroll goal

Captain DaFt
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Impossible!

This code he said had existed "for about 15-years doing absolutely nothing".

Didn't Ballmer himself state that from Vista forward, " the entire codebase of Windows has been rewritten from the ground up!"

Hm, maybe copy pasta'd from the ground up is more likely.

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World's governments emerge enraged from mounds of red tape, screaming at ICANN

Captain DaFt
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In a way, serves'em right!

Now governments have a taste of what us poor plebs go through wading through their tax codes!

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'Giving geo-engineering to this US govt is like giving a CHILD a LOADED GUN'

Captain DaFt
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Re: Never mind that...

"Just let me move to some nice place on the equator with a tall swedish blonde..."

Hm... I'd prefer a local, raven haired Polynesian girl.

A lot less likely to complain, "Don't touch me! I'm so sunburned!

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Facebook: Hey guys, come share all your securo-blunders with us!

Captain DaFt
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Re: "We are committed to protecting people's privacy"

... by storing it on our servers so we can be the ones selling it at a profit!

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Kanye West: Yo, DNS... Imma let you finish, but this gTLD is one of the best of all time

Captain DaFt
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Yeah, right.

"That someone as mainstream as Kanye West has simply purchased and launched on a new gTLD in one of the most significant indicators yet that the hundreds of new extensions will soon become just a part of the broader internet eco-system. "

Or... That he has the money to waste on vanity gTLDs that most of the world ignores.

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Back seat drivers fear lead-footed autonomous cars, say boffins

Captain DaFt
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Pshaw

No matter the mode of transport, autonomous or not, there's always going to be Nervous Nellies assaulting everyone within earshot of their "harrowing tale" of near misses and how they nearly died on every routine trip they take.

Google cars will be just another thing for them to be boorish about.

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Jeb Bush, the man who may lead the US in 2016, dumps Floridians' private data on the web

Captain DaFt
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Re: Further proof...

Hi? Shouldn't that be 'Heil'?

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RadioShack lists 1,800 stores facing the axe across America

Captain DaFt
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Built my first robot from Radio Shack parts

All analog; breadboard box, motors, transistors, capacitors, photocells, and resistors. All from Radio Shack.

True to ROTM, a miss wired capacitor caused it to repeatedly ram obstacles instead of backing up and turning.

I left it like that, it was fun to watch that little plastic box actually manage to scoot a kitchen chair across the floor.

Goodbye, and thanks for the memories.

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NERDS KICK PUPPY 'bot in brutal attack

Captain DaFt
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I'd be leery about kicking it like that

Considering the reputation of the mythic 'Spot'.

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Calling a friend? Listen to an advert. You lucky, lucky thing

Captain DaFt
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Geez

OK, I was livid at first, but now I think it might not be a bad idea if used properly. (Don't hurt me, hear me out!)

Imagine an ad campaign directed at these <WHOA! REDACTED!> that plays selected gems from Bill Hicks little essay on marketing ( http://youtu.be/gDW_Hj2K0wo ) , on their phone every time they make a call.

No way to shut it out, they can't stop it, because the miserable <WHOA! REDACTED!> actually took the money to do it to themselves!

Imagine, every time those <WHOA! REDACTED!> make a business call: "Kill yourself", "Kill yourself, you worthless piece of Shit.", "Seriously, you have no excuse for living, just kill yourself."

Anybody up for a kickstarter?

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Ubuntu smartphone to go on sale: It'll be harder to get than a new iPhone

Captain DaFt
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"If a new phone is not announced by a guy in a black turtleneck you just know it is going to flop."

So you're a Huawei fan, then?

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'Privacy is DAMAGING to PROGRESS' says Irish big data whitepaper

Captain DaFt
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Re: What happened to the Ireland I loved...

Maybe if they'd had a few less pints before making big decisions, the ones they made wouldn't have led to this mess.

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