* Posts by Captain DaFt

1610 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

TRAGEDY STRIKES Vulture News Central but details remain scrambled

Captain DaFt
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Sad ending, she was a good egg, but the whole concept wasn't what it was cracked up to be.

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Feds finger Norks in Sony hack, Obama asks: HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE KOREA?

Captain DaFt
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Um, you do realize...

Before this security breach hit the news, the only people on the planet that cared, or mostly even knew it existed were Sony, NK, and the studio's investors.

Likely the attackers didn't know/care about it until the flit hit the Shan.

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Untangling .NET Core: Open source for Windows, Mac, Linux

Captain DaFt
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Re: You like MS Products

"Personally I think the Jury's still out on whether Elop was a trojan horse or just plain disfunctionally incompetent."

Take a look his record, pre-Nokia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Elop#Career

That man's been a catastrophe where ever he's in charge.

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American bacon cured with AR-15 assault rifle

Captain DaFt
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Re: @Sporkinum: When I was in the Airforce

"OOI what is menudo?"

Mexican style tripe... or a boy band. Not much difference, really.

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ICANN HACKED: Intruders poke around global DNS innards

Captain DaFt
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Re: Come on - TheReg should know better

Well, 'cracker' is a racial epithet in the US, that's why the press avoids it.

I'd propose calling them 'diddlers' instead, but that has gained sexual connotations as well as its older meanings of time wasting, fraud and tinkering with things.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/diddle

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ESA: Venus probe doomed to fiery death on weird planet's surface

Captain DaFt
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Somehow, this comic seems apropos:

http://techfox.comicgenesis.com/d/20141124.html

RIP little probe.

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Boggling bum babe Kim fails to 'break the internet' – Robin Williams instead tops Google charts

Captain DaFt
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Re: Kim k

Agreed. And a quote to back you up:

James Boswell - ”To be perpetually talking sense runs out the mind, as perpetually ploughing and taking crops runs out the land. The mind must be manured, and nonsense is very good for the purpose.”

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NASA asks world+dog to name Mercury's craters (back off, 4chan)

Captain DaFt
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Vote now!

Crater C: Tater Crater, for Foster "Tater, The Music Maker" Wiley - March 25, 1947 - September 10, 2010

http://www.deltabluesmuseum.org/news-tater.asp

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Cool Large Hadron Collider to fire into doubly powerful ring

Captain DaFt
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"Everything is exactly as it should be. Not a single surprise! Not a single bone thrown at us!!"

DESPONDENCY!

Nah, that'll just mean they're on the right track, and have to work harder to learn more, instead of throwing out current theory and starting over.

(Boffins are people too, and some people hate the thought of hard work just keeping the same old-same old going.)

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Senator: Backdoor for the Feds is a backdoor for hackers

Captain DaFt
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Re: Some hopes

"They're supposed to be serving US, aren't they?"

Oh, but they are!

Serving it on a silver platter to the greedy, the paranoid, and the short sighted.

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Searching to destroy ... Bing? Facebook JILTS Microsoft

Captain DaFt
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Re: The last time i looked there were 10 pages of comments

Ah, but you're not looking at it from a marketeer's angle! (Lucky you!)

Ten pages of comments? Who cares if they hate it, they're interacting with our new interface! Page hits up! More eyeballs to sell to advertisers! Success!

Now, if nobody'd posted a word about it, and hits on the site dropped off like an elephant's arse, the new look would've been history within 12 hours or less.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Captain DaFt
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Re: Still no https? really wide margins

"What do people think that HTTPS is going to hide?"

How about your password?

Seriously, Http for login is really a bad idea these days!

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Captain DaFt
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http://youtu.be/cDGlN6mluGA

That is all.

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Oh SNAP, Microsoft! Asigra steals a march with Office 365 cloudy backup

Captain DaFt
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Re: one simple rule...

"the only safe copy is a paper copy"

You mock it, but Sony Media'd be SOL right now without paper, wouldn't they? (Or have they got the system back up yet? Press has been quiet on that.)

And I seem to recall Russian spooks have turned back to paper for security.

Face it, online, or 'The cloud' as they call it these days for fiscal gain, is Murphy's natural habitat.

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Microsoft says January Windows 10 build will excite sysadmins

Captain DaFt
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Might want to tread carefully there, Microsoft

You declared Win 8 exciting too, and it was.

If people had been a bit more excited when they saw it, there would have been a mob with torches and pitchforks descending on Redmond.

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Boffins cure BONING PROBLEMS in 'virtual lab'

Captain DaFt
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Re: which name did they choose for the process?

Oo, How about 'HAL' - Human Anatomical Logic?

"I'm sorry Dave, that makes me queasy!"

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The internet is less free than last year. Thanks a bunch, Snowden

Captain DaFt
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Re: Now _that's_ a conspiracy theory!

"Well, lumping all politicians together... Seven braincells total sounds about right.

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Pub time for NASA bods? Orion spacecraft test launch called off

Captain DaFt
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Re: Should have gone to Specsavers...

"I keep reading that NASA are intending to launch an Onion into space."

Ah, that explains this!: http://flyingonion.webs.com/

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Why is wind a problem

Here's a simple little experiment that'll give you an idea of why wind's a problem to rocket launches.

Get a broom, and balance it on your finger vertically, brush end up. This is similar to how a rocket balances on its thrust.

Now try this outside on a breezy day... much harder!

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It was SPACECRAFT vs BOAT at ORION LAUNCH. The boat won

Captain DaFt
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Re: Aaand another hold...

"What can be going through a man's mind at this moment?"

"FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..."

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Quantum computing is so powerful it takes two years to understand what happened

Captain DaFt
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Re: quantum awareness

Just let me know when it figures out the answer is '42'.

Then I'll worry!

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Apple patents NEVERSMASH iPHONE for fumbling fondlers

Captain DaFt
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Re: Physics.

"I'm sure you exaggerate. I doubt you're really allergic to harpoons. Just harpoon intolerant..."

Nope, full on allergy triggered by the pointy end.

Symptoms include sudden appearance of holes in the body, outbreaks of streaming blood, and profuse swearing.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Physics.

" OK, how about it harpoons your leg, and avoids bounceage that way. I'm sure none of us would mind a small leg wound, in order to save our precious mobiles."

Um, how about a simple lanyard connecting the phone to your pocket?

Then if you drop it, it just ends up slapping your knees.

Most people already seem to use it like a pocketwatch, might as well dress it like one, eh?

I apologize for adding a serious comment to your query, but I value mt epidermal integrity highly, since I'm allergic to harpoons.

(They HURT!)

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Microsoft: So sorry for NOT paying Xbox indie game devs on time

Captain DaFt
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"Ah, you see... "

"We thought we'd just not pay them, and see if anybody noticed."

"Unfortunately, they did."

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Man asks internet for $1k for pebbles. INTERNET SAYS YES

Captain DaFt
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Re: Gotta be nuts!

"http://www.screwfix.com/p/hex-nuts-a2-stainless-steel-m20-pack-of-10/38163

There, much cheaper..."

Yes, but be careful, and don't bolt it down!

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Microsoft hikes support charges by NINETY TWO PER CENT

Captain DaFt
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Re: It isn't extortion, just check your EULA

" I don't expect Ford to rush out and fix my tyre unless I'm in a specific support contract with them."

Funny, a lot of people did. Some died before they got the chance.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firestone_and_Ford_tire_controversy

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UK.gov quietly slips extra cash to AUTO ROBOTICA bods

Captain DaFt
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Re: Unfortunate choice of word

"Just for the record ' They can pry my steering wheel and gear stick from my cold dead hands.'"

Given current driving statistics... They probably will.

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Google kills CAPTCHAs: Are we human or are we spammer?

Captain DaFt
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Re: I'll be glad to see them gone

"it takes me about 3 attempts to get a nasty CAPATCHA right"

About the same here on some sites.

With the machines hitting 99.8%, maybe the real test should be two CAPTCHAS, and if you get them both right, you're a machine!

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Feds dig up law from 1789 to demand Apple, Google decrypt smartphones, slabs

Captain DaFt
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Eh, What next? Older laws?

"In as much as the accused witch has writ knowledge most profane and occult.

Then entrusted said knowledge to a poppet that willfully resists the Church and wit of the magistrate to examine such.

The poppet shall be consumed in pyre, and the witch shall be pilloried for not less than three days.

Then should said witch refuse to recant the evil ways and confess. The witch shall be hanged by the grace of God Most Merciful. AMEN."

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Sony Pictures hires Mandiant, asks FBI for help after MASSIVE cyber attack

Captain DaFt
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"So, how long before the movie of this comes out?"

Oh, within a year or two, but I doubt it'll be a Sony film!

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Star Wars: Episode VII trailer lands. You call that a lightsaber? THIS is a lightsaber

Captain DaFt
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Everybody's bent out of shape over that Lightsabre

But there's worse to fear.

This is Disney.

They have another blockbusting franchise right now.

Think... crossovers.

They're probably planning to have Wolverine in it... With lightsabre claws!

(Nobody knows his true origin or how old he really is... )

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Oh BOY! The MICKEY MOUSE Apple Watch is no heart-throb

Captain DaFt
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Re: Hamill time

I'm curious, what does fried mahogany taste like?

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Turnbull should spare us all airline-magazine-grade cloud hype

Captain DaFt
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Re: He's mad

"Or he owns a service provider!"

Or is owned by a service provider, he is a politician, after all.

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I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations

Captain DaFt
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My head hurts...

I read his post, went back in time to create an account to upvote him, pranged into a police callbox in the middle of nowhen, and now I'm stuck in a loop... HELP!

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NSA SOURCE CODE LEAK: Information slurp tools to appear online

Captain DaFt
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Re: Tinfoil Hat?

"Now I'd be really worried if they were also recommending a specific compiler and version number."

If you were truly paranoid, you'd be even more worried that they weren't! (Gahh! They've got their hooks in everything!)

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Your PHONE is slowly KILLING YOU

Captain DaFt
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Re: funny....

"Books, often requiring the same head postures, never seem to have had the same effect."

Or drinking a cup of tea, or eating a sandwich, or just examining something interesting that you've picked up for a closer look.

Funny, when it's done to accommodate something new, it's "undue stress", but when you do the same activity for old fashioned reasons, it's "exercise, and you need to do more of it!"

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Disturbance in the force lets phones detect gestures with Wi-Fi

Captain DaFt
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Re: his/her > XIR

But there's already an acceptable, non gender specific word with centuries of use, "it".

"The human moves its arm", what could be easier?

It's not like there's precedent for using it either. How often have you heard, "Who is it?"

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How secure is Docker? If you're not running version 1.3.2, NOT VERY

Captain DaFt
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No one ever learns

Yo, programmers! Weinberg's Law:

"If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization."

He stated this way back in 1971, and nothing in programming, save the names of the languages used, has changed much since.

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We're not, er, 'cut-throat' capitalists – VC formerly known as ISIS

Captain DaFt
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"In fact it is the dreaded and mighty LIVING BRIDGE OF HLLUNDAIN."

Whew, no worries then. I was afraid it might be a...

{Dun DUN DUN}... Gazebo!

http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/98/Jul/gazebo.html

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All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing

Captain DaFt
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Re: the next one will be powered solely by Boris Johnson

"the next one will be powered solely by Boris Johnson "

No need to pick just him. If they can tap into Parliament, Washington DC, et al, The World's energy problems would be solved forever!

Finally, an honest use for politicians!

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Azure TITSUP caused by INFINITE LOOP

Captain DaFt
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Re: 5 nines

"It's only a Marketing 99.999% they rounded it up from 95% !"

After it was rounded up to 95% from 80% by another division of the marketing dept, who got the 80% by mishearing when one of the IT guys said, "Eh, who knows?"

(Geez, I'm in a mood today. Time to break for coffee and a cigar!)

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Britain's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission rakes in £200k

Captain DaFt
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I'm tempted to contribute.

But only so that I could mess with future (possibly Alien) exo-archeologists minds by submitting a dog hair instead of one of my own.

(Troll the future, that's how I roll!)

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NXT: The first SPAAAACE cryptocurrency

Captain DaFt
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A query

So is this changing the layout of Vulture II?

If it is, I'd suggest the chest up front, (with a suitable rack) and the booty in the rear.

(Just to keep things balanced, mind.)

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After USA FREEDOM Act's failure, what's next for mass surveillance?

Captain DaFt
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Re: The "Patriot Act" won't be allowed to die

"They're probably about the same as Washington ordering a landing on European soil for exactly the same purpose. Well, slightly less, in my view."

Putin would use troops. the US is using 'trade agreements'.

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Be real, Apple: In-app goodie grab games AREN'T FREE – EU

Captain DaFt
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"Pay as you play" would be more accurate, wouldn't it?

"Get" just hides the fact that playing will cost money unless you want to endure timeouts or be locked from certain achievements.

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Fake antivirus scams: It's a $120m business – and alleged ringleaders have just been frozen

Captain DaFt
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Re: Now let's clean up download sites.

"I'm so cynical I hesitate to let anything but essentials onto my machine"

If I'm on a Windows install, the first thing I add is Startup Guard.

http://www.anvir.com/startup-guard.htm

It monitors and lists everything that tries to add it self to the startup, giving you the option to allow/deny. A real boon to keeping out nasties that slip in.

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Fujitsu CTO: We'll be 3D-printing tech execs in 15 years

Captain DaFt
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If you don't think 3D printing is advancing amazingly fast...

Then check these 3d sculptures out.

(Might be NSFW) http://www.jontyhurwitz.com/nano

Detailed, 3D printed, Nano scaled sculptures that can only be viewed by microscope.

Mind officially blown!

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What a Mesa: Apple vows to re-use titsup GT sapphire glass plant

Captain DaFt
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"Apple had told him it was hellbent “on preserving jobs in Arizona”"

Might be more reassuring if they picked another destination to follow for their plan... unless all they have to offer is good intentions.

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The Nokia ENIGMA THING and its SECRET, TERRIBLE purpose

Captain DaFt
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Re: It's a scale model

No, It's full scale!

Obviously Nokia has sold out humanity to the G'Gugvuntt and Vl'hurg, designing them a planet destroying spaceship that's too big to be swallowed by a small dog.

It looks like Nokia really took the loss of their cellphones popularity to heart.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: U no get it

"It was a pun, a roundabout way of saying they don't know what it is. I "no know", get it?"

Exactly!

"Surely there's no way El Reg's revision desk could ever get so lax as to let slip such a glaring mistake right at the subtitle!"

MMF... Mmf... Fffflplt-HA HAAAA! <snerk> Bwaaaa-HAHAHAW!

Damn! Good one!

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