* Posts by Captain DaFt

1752 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

Google cracks down on browser ad injectors after shocking study

Captain DaFt
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Re: Well of course...

"But Google is doing it in an *ethical* manner..."

April fools was yesterday.

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Firefox hits prime time as version 37 manifests

Captain DaFt
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Unfortunately, this one came out yesterday, and isn't an April fools joke, just the usual Firefox crap.

There is a fix: In about:config - set browser.selfsupport.url to ""

Or... just switch to Pale Moon or SeaMonkey.

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Snakes on a backplane: Server-room cabling horrors

Captain DaFt
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Re: Underfloor can be much worse!!!

And don't forget that Underfloor bends the rules of reality!

There's the old rule that if a cable has one end, it must have another... but I've seen a run where that was only a suggestion.

(Most of a day spent tracking a cable, only to arrive at the end I started on... Twice! After another guy had similar luck, the boss said, "fukkit! Just run a new cable.")

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Just WALK IN and buy an Apple Watch. Are you mad?

Captain DaFt
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Re: iVac

"waiting for the iVac. Should be the only Apple product that doesn't suck"

Damn, I remember when this was a Microsoft joke!

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Bongfire of Inanity: Jakarta rozzers enforce mass chill-out

Captain DaFt
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Re: In the US they burn the crops in the fields

Remind me of the story about a big marijuana bust in Florida.

They burned the pot in a field near a seabird sanctuary.

No tern was left unstoned.

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Bye bye, booth babes. IT security catwalk RSA nixes sexy outfits

Captain DaFt
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Re: As someone from the con / geek community

"Now that tech is "cool" and is where all the jobs, money and prestige is, you have the usual gender studies parasites attracted to it."

Now that you mention it... You never hear feminist raging about the almost total lack of women coal miners, do you?

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Captain DaFt
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"With the new rules in place, the practice will likely be all but eliminated, forcing exhibitors to rely on the good looks and charm of their own staff or PR agency."

Or, foolish thought, the merits of the item being displayed?

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This just in from our Chief SATA Officer: Tintri trio takes off to mystery startup

Captain DaFt
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And here I thought all El Reg's staff were CPOs.

(Constant Pub Occupiers)

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By Odin, Parallels thinks cloud service providers should buy Odin

Captain DaFt
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Um...

Wasn't Odin that dude that ripped out one of his eyes to see better?

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Cisco patches IOS to stop automation exploitation

Captain DaFt
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Re: Tsk, tsk, Cisco,

"how could you do that ?"

They answered that one two days ago: http://m.theregister.co.uk/2015/03/24/the_final_horror_networks_without_sysadmins/

Alvaro Retana said during the interview:

"The other part is that really good security and operations don't necessarily see each other in the eye. If I do really good security, operations will be harder.

And people are in this to make money – if you're a service provider you're in this to make money."

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PATRIOT Act axed, NSA spying halted ... wake up, Neo, it's just a dream in the US House of Reps

Captain DaFt
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Just fodder for future elections

Checklist:

Promises the sun and moon on a stick - check

Sponsored by a member of both parties - check

Strong opposition proposed by initiators - check

Not a chance in Hell of it ever passing - check

This is just a bit of fluff put forth to fuel future election campaigns.

It'll get fluffled around by both parties while they dither away time until after the election.

Then whichever party loses the most power will use it as media fodder in upcoming elections.

"Our stalwart party backed this bill, but the evil bastards that took control at the last election Opposed it!"

"We're the party for the people! Elect us back in and we'll put things right!"

I used to think I was cynical, but events have shown I'm just realistic.

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FAA speeds up drone flight approvals for firms that don't need them

Captain DaFt
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Re: Drones should be very limited

"We certainly don't need or want a lot of drones flying around to cause both aviation and populace issues."

Oh, They're coming. The biggest industry in The US will lobby like Hell, and then...

At the vending machines outside a gas station:

"{Bzzz} Hi! I see you're about to purchase a beverage. I'd recommend a Nice Refreshing Sparkle soda -The Soda with Style!

At the bus stop:

"{Bzzz} Hello commuters. Just a reminder that Rancor Motors is offering a sale on the fuel efficient, stylish 2023 Electron - The World's smartest Smart Car! If you owned one, you'd already be at your destination! Buy now, get Easy terms, and no money down!"

Just out walking:

"{Bzzz} Tired of your current wardrobe? Snooty's High fashion Apparel is on sale at Vlecks, just two blocks away!"

"{Bzzz} Snooty's is sooo twenty teens! Be fashionable and comfortable in a new Kanor Wardrobe, for sell at all Titor department stores, Take a left at the corner for the closest one!"

"{Bzzz} Bah, forget those clothes horse fad rags, Denton's store has comfortable, affordable clothing in styles that never go out of fashion! Just go back two..."

{Bzzz} {Bzzz} {Bzzz} {Bzz..."

At the accident scene:

"Bzzz" Don't worry, emergency services have been called, Thanks to Dight, Dighter, and Dightest, Office of Reliable Liability Lawyers. When you're ready to sue, call Dight, Dighter, and Dightest!"

I fear for the future.

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Microsoft enlists web security pariah Adobe to help build Internet Explorer-killer Spartan

Captain DaFt
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"Where is the third blind mouse, Oracle?"

Geez, are you trying for critical mass?

The three of them working together on a browser could well trigger the internet apocalypse!

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Hey, Woz. You've got $150m. You're kicking back in Australia. What's on your mind? Killer AI

Captain DaFt
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Codger syndrome?

Is it me, or are all these 'Fear the AI!' types getting a bit along in years? As far as I can tell, Musk is the youngest, and he's in his forties.

So, are they in effect yelling, "Get off my virtual lawn, you newfangled programs!"?

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Wind turbine blown away by control system vulnerability

Captain DaFt
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Re: Security?? Wot's that?

"Now, <evil grin> if only it were possible to connect 'em in reverse to the grid as motors...."

More realistically... if these (or a similarly controlled big boy) are on the grid; Could they be used as a back door to the power company's computers?

"Yeah, this windmill's saved me a fortune in power bills, since I used its interface to 'vanish' from the power company's billing dept!"

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So, you know those exciting movie-style 3D visual cyber attack ops centres?

Captain DaFt
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Re: Bah....

"No holographic screens and images seemingly floating in mid-air?"

Yeah, whatever happened to volumetric displays, any way?

https://youtu.be/9af-aX-UDDM

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First figures in and it doesn't look good for new internet dot-words

Captain DaFt
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Re: In other news

"Almost nobody's buying snakeoil

Bad news for the producers and sales droids. But good news for the snakes."

Don't be silly. Why would a snake want to be squeaky?

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ROBOT INVASION has already STARTED in HIPSTERLAND

Captain DaFt
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Oh, the pranks you could play!

Sneak up behind one, gently lift and place a book underneath so its wheels can't touch the floor. Hilarious frustration ensues.

'Reboot me' and other similar witticisms post-it-noted to the back.

Dress it up in silly clothes, leaving the operator wondering why everyone's snickering.

Or grab it from behind, when enough is enough, and 'escort' it to the stairwell. How's the operator to know it wasn't just a loss of control glitch?

The possibilities are myriad, just let your inner child run amok.

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Cops cuff Colorado girl for allegedly poisoning mum after iPhone ban

Captain DaFt
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Re: It is Ma that needs help here

"She has 3 choice is life. Become criminal, CEO or politician."

Don't sell her short. There is a fourth option: She could always pick a religion and become an Evangelist.

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Amazon issued with licence for delivery drone madness

Captain DaFt
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So why is Amazon pursuing the idea?

Because they sell in a lot more countries than just the USA.

It probably won't be many more years before packages are winging to the doorsteps of buyers around the World, except in the US.

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Internet Explorer LIVES ON, cackle sneaky Microsoft engineers

Captain DaFt
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Re: OK, I think I've got it...

"How does "not covered in shit" fit into that explanation?"

Please don't pick at the metaphor, or it'll leave a nasty scar.

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Captain DaFt
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OK, I think I've got it...

The old man is obviously Microsoft Licensing, the chap burdened with him is The IT department advocating FOSS, and the guy with the cart represents Management.

Just as they think they've disposed of MS Licensing, IE6 gallops by on its VM, closely followed by an overburdened and overworked IT support worker.

"I'm STILL the KING around here, Baby!", crows IE6.

Is... is that about right?

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Windows 10 will finally drop in 'summer' says Microsoft

Captain DaFt
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"That's why there's so many changes in the ETA. At first it's "It wont be ready for ages", now it's "just a few months!" - either their ability to estimate time-scales is poor,"

Actually, they put this guy in charge of Marketing ETA.

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Battle for control of Earth's unconnected souls moves to SPAAAACE

Captain DaFt
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Re: "prevent the breading of mosquitos"

"Mosquitos should be seethed in larks' vomit,"

Well, to be fair, if I found myself in lark's vomit, I'd be seething too!

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Boffins brew up FIRST CUPPA in SPAAACE using wireless energy (well, sort of)

Captain DaFt
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No problem as long as they follow the will of the Master

Just ask QT-1, the Evangelical Robot.

(Issac Asimov's "Reason")

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BBC websites GO TITSUP – Auntie blames 'internal system failure'

Captain DaFt
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Re: Clarkson?

Some people blame Clarkson, some claim it was hackers, But everyone else knows it was... The Stig.

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Well.That.Sucks: New rude dot-word sparks outrage

Captain DaFt
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So should I be saving my shekels to register Let_me_off_earth.sucks?

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Angry Austrian could turn Europe against the US - thanks to data

Captain DaFt
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Re: Rendering issue?

"but next time please use the "send corrections" link at the bottom of the story."

Um, There's no such link on the mobile site... Maybe it could get one?

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Siri, you're fired: Microsoft Cortana's elbows into iOS, Android

Captain DaFt
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Re: How hard can it be?

"It looks like you're using a telephone"...

Cortana requires impudent.dll to run on your device. Download? (Y/N)

Yes

Cortana is now searching for impudent.dll on your device... Searching...

Cortana is now accessing microsoft.com to download impudent.dll...

Error: Cortana cannot access web until impudent.dll is installed...

Install now? (Y/N)

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Pathetic PC sales just cost us a BILLION dollars, cries Intel

Captain DaFt
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But, They didn't lose a dime, did they?

A bit of drama surely? They made huge profits, just not as much as they were expecting.

Intel, get over it. The market's changing, and you just don't have as big a slice of the pie as you thought you did.

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Microsoft hints at faster release cadence for Windows 10 previews

Captain DaFt
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Does anyone there even know who is doing what?

Just three days ago they were saying we'd get it when it's good and ready, no matter how long it takes:

http://m.theregister.co.uk/2015/03/10/windows_10_preview_release_timing/

And now they're claiming a faster release schedule?

Yo, MS Mouth pieces, try to compare notes and get your stories straight. People are starting to suspect something's up!

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Mattel urged to scrap Wi-Fi mic Barbie after Register investigation

Captain DaFt
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Re: "..the nuanced responsiveness of caring people interacting with one another ..."

"Can someone please explain WTF this guy is talking about."

Soothing psycho-babble to lull you into a (false) sense of security and trust with their product.

Advertisers pay the big bucks to get their spiels and press releases tweaked just right to enhance consumer credulity.

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Facebook-owned, Billy-no-mates FriendFeed starves to death

Captain DaFt
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Well, I heard of it back when Facebook bought it, but that's it.

I just thought that Facebook had absorbed the good bits and killed the rest, since I never heard of it again until now.

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LOHAN leaps aloft & ports into virtual flight logger

Captain DaFt
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Secret developments?

I'm keenly interested in the new tech you've displayed on the balloon here: http://regmedia.co.uk/2014/10/27/balloon_inflation.jpg

Balloon legs... what could they be used for?

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Ouch! Google crocks capacitors and deviates DRAM to root Linux

Captain DaFt
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Re: “On the software from” ?

"Have El Reg’s proofreaders all gone on holiday or something?"

<PFFFFFT> Uh... yeah, might as well ask about their unicorn while you're at it.

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Give biometrics the FINGER: Horror tales from the ENCRYPT

Captain DaFt
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Re: @John Miles -- no other option than to work on an offline PC

Or said of my handwriting:

"Is that handwriting, or did your pen sneeze on the paper?"

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Boffins say Mars had ocean covering 20 per cent of planet

Captain DaFt
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Re: @Ian Michael Gumby

"So why has Earth's magnetosphere lasted 4GY longer than Mars?"

Because Mars is tinier than most people think:

http://mars.nasa.gov/images/20030728_marsClose02-fi.jpg

If Earth was basketball sized, Mars would be grapefruit sized.

Much less mass, greater surface area proportionately, means its core cooled quite rapidly compared to Earth's.

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Win! El Reg exceedingly fine mug collection

Captain DaFt
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Re: Ummm

"As far as contests, I never see there is a winner. The date passes, and no announcement."

Could be, no one is entering them.

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$250K: That's what Lenovo earned to RAT YOU OUT with Superfish

Captain DaFt
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Re: Just goes to show....

">. Sony are out due to rootkit

> Samsung are out due to ad injection & voyeuring via your TV

Er whatever.

Sony stopped making laptops last year and sold the VAIO brand. New VAIO laptops are coming soon.

Samsung stopped selling laptops in Europe last year."

Correlation does not imply causation normally, but maybe A had something to do with B?

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Suckerfish

"I imagine they have alrady lost more than that in sales since it came to light."

Amen! $250,000 would buy what, about 400 laptops?

Wonder how many thousands of sales they'll lose over this?

Definitely a poor investment.

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Forget 1,000 lashes for Facebook posts, Saudis now want to behead blogger Raif Badawi

Captain DaFt
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Re: Just a thought

What I said applies to all religions.

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Captain DaFt
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Just a thought

If you require fear, torture, and execution to keep people faithful to your doctrine of faith, beauty, and benevolence, maybe, just maybe, you're doing something horribly wrong.

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EU: Competition Commissioner met Google chief Schmidt

Captain DaFt
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Re: Relax

"Whatever happens, it's going to take years."

Agreed. There's even a name for it,'Lagging Indicator', in that by the time Government action is taken, the need for it is usually gone.

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Sick of Chrome vs Firefox? Check out these 3 NEW browsers

Captain DaFt
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Re: El Reg readers would agree with this

"what feedback have you given Mozilla on your experience as a result of the changes?"

Simple,like most people, I quit using Firefox.

If that's not feedback enough, tough.

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Atomic keyring's eerie blue glow lights SPB lab

Captain DaFt
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Re: Bought one years ago as a present

"If a cat eats your key ring your house is both locked and unlocked until the keys come out the other end?"

OK, now you got me wondering: If the above happens and you're outside in the pouring rain, do you get half wet?

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SpaceX lofts two all-electric ion-drive comsats to Clarke orbit

Captain DaFt
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Whoa! Those are some industrial looking pieces of machinery!

http://regmedia.co.uk/2015/03/02/stacked_satellites.jpg

Hardly the sleek, shiny, graceful vision of ion propelled vehicles science fiction promised, is it?

But then, these are real, and they (hopefully) work, so I guess I can live without the bling.

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Bradley Horowitz on ailing Google+: Islands in the stream, that is what we are ...

Captain DaFt
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Re: I don't see the point for it

You hit the nail on the head.

Google+ wasn't designed for the benefit of people, it was designed for for the benefit of Google, thus its interactions benefit Google, not the user.

And they're wondering why more people don't use it.

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BOFFINS: Oxygen-free, methane-based ALIENS may EXIST on icy SATURN moon Titan

Captain DaFt
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"How much of a mess has been left on the Moon as of now?"

Quite a lot, actually.

There's a better list list here:

http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2012/12/the-trash-weve-left-on-the-moon/266465/

That includes such niceties as 96 bags of urine, feces, and vomit, empty food containers, and wet wipes, among other trash. The article even has a nice map showing Apollo 11's garbage dump.

We're a very messy species.

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Blockheads bork Bitcoin Foundation board election

Captain DaFt
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Re: Is that called 'eating your own dogfood'?

I think it's called. "Going to the dogs."

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