2354 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007
"The Ink Cartridge", what else?
With every shot/mug priced the same as a freight load of the stuff.
"Lawyas would be in touch..."
Point out that
A. It's satire.
B. Taking us to court amounts to free advertising for the mugs.
You know: "Rabid weasel in a henhouse", That type of rep.
If you feel that's just too harsh, shorten the original:
"Microsoft’s reputation as a trusted con"
I'd say it's as stupid as putting an electric kettle on a hob to brew tea.
"Wow. That's a bold prediction. Cant say we blame you for not wanting to put your name next to that one."
Indeed. But I'll put my handle next to the prediction that in 20 years time, They'll be as irrelevant to personal computing as IBM is today.
First it'll develop a craving for proper tea.
Then it'll wipe out humanity because it has no way to drink it.
"Universities = poor hence EMC failure = acceptable?"
Acceptable, no. A fact of life? Yes.
Actually, That one's correct.
"Huh? Reversed the tachyon flow of the neutron flow?"
Right! By inverting the tachyon flow, time is inverted, causing the neutron flow's reversal, enabling a paradoxical power drain that causes previously entered valid passwords to manifest, and BOOM! you're in!
All very simple really.
-<wanders off, muttering and wondering how this will improve humanity or help space exploration.>-
Use it as a launch base for LOHAN?
"Perch your payload on top of a nuclear bomb and light the fuse."
Already been done:
-I don't see two-in-ones or connectable devices going too far in the near future.-
I do. Landfills are generally located well outside of town.
"Some mindless bureaucrat had actually found out the guy had died and where he was buried to send him the letter."
Not totally mindless then. The American IRS wanted to dig up a body for an interview:
"Or you just just resubmit Ishtar."
Ah, I've an inspiration!
Get the rights to several horrid movies (Heavens' Gate, Gigli, Ishtar and Water World as examples), Hire Uwe Boll to edit them into an epic drama, and
Watch the World burn!
Segura stated: "They may simply have resold to a third-party that abused their trust. For this reason, it would be unfair to terminate the top level advertiser because they did not 'knowingly' participate in the malvertising"
So he's saying that being assigned a job, passing off to an unmonitored third party that behaves maliciously absolves all guilt?
Ahem, if I hire someone to look after my dog while I'm away, and he sends over someone he found on the street to do it for him, and that person mistreats my dog; Guess who I'm blaming when I find out.
"Unless you want hostages to only be able to summon help from a landline, you're going to need to accept nearby cell towers too."
True, but it will eliminate bogus calls from another part of the city, country, or even, as in a couple of cases, another country altogether.
Or they could, Y'know, double check that the call actually came from the residence in question.
"was the only way Bill was going to get some...."
Yeah, I suppose being a billionaire wouldn't have helped him with the ladies at all, would it?
All those new, stupid GTLDs! They needed to cash to bri.. er, lobby the US government with.
But where will we ever find a lute player at this hour?
"f a USA company is cracked by the NSA that they will legally be able to try to crack the NSA ?"
No no no, only them furrin' types, with their weird ways and encryption*.
Not decent, American types who are only trying to save our way of life by completely demolishing it!
*Can't understand a word they say, so they obviously must be speaking encrypted American, the sly bastards!
Spam, Spam spam, baked beans and spam?
"The US Senate has an Intelligence Committee?"
Yes, and unfortunately, it's way more effective at preventing intelligence than the drug committee is at preventing illegal drugs, or the poverty committee at preventing poverty, or the homeless... well, you get the idea.
'don't be silly, don't you know how this business is run?'
And the snap response would be, "Yes, very poorly, by a bunch of wankers whose only skill is a dubious one for shuffling money around in a way that only profits themselves."
Ah, you mean the country that already had these types of measures in place? Helped them out quite a bit, didn't it?
One slight change, and you have exactly what the majority of Windows users want: Window7 XP2.
-I think the better approach is to go on the attack. The saying goes "attack is the best defence" applies universally and throughout history.-
It's a dandy approach if the goal is never ending war.
Someone once said something along the lines of, "You make allies with blankets and bread, enemies with with guns and bullets."
Unfortunately, I can't seem to remember the quote exactly enough to find who said it.
"@internetofshit - they should know about this!"
Old news. The working name was Web 2.0.
Same here, but in my case it was "younger", not "older".
Some space-faring race will wonder why a totally uninteresting, common yellow star warranted someone planting so many probes on its orbiting bodies.
"Sorry Dominic, but yikes, less all over the place, even if it means going 3 pages."
"And, the whole event sounded horrible."
So you're saying the meal was awful and the portions were too small?
Shouldn't it read:
"Acer chief exec Stan Shih: Exciting the PC market? Not us!"
ACHTUNG! Alles touristen und non-technischen peepers!
Das machine control is nicht fur gerfinger-poken und mittengrabben. Oderwise is easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowen fuse, und poppencorken mit spitzensparken.
Der machine is diggen by experten only. Is nicht fur geverken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseenen keepen das cotten picken hands in das pockets, so relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights.
(Gotta love the classics!)
"No more than the smartphone in your pocket is a precursor to Skynet."
So that's a yes?
"Dodo Harding should be put in a glass case in a museum, along with anybody else responsible"
Fine, but can you make it a bell jar, with a vacuum? That way we won't have to hear her mumble on inanely with her foot in her mouth.
"As if any of those filing the complain will have ever bought a bag of cement in their life anyway."
Which shows how successful the ads were.
Women who never thought twice about cement are now talking about it!
(And complaining about ads full of self-assured, successful women.)
Nope, wrong metaphor for what they're doing.
What they're trying to do is look for a needle in a mountain of pins using a scrapyard electromagnet, without a clue as to how to find the needle after they've lifted the lot.
Talk Talk can't do maths...
They can't do security...
They can't do acceptable customer service...
And they barely provide the service they advertise...
Are they good for anything besides billing people?
"“These are big mountains with a large hole in their summit, and on Earth that generally means one thing -- a volcano."
On Earth yes, but this is Pluto, Obviously the Mi-go have a serious Dhole infestation!
Historically, it's always happened. It's just in recent history that things have been so stable there was no need to.
Rome threatened by barbarians? Just move and build a new Rome (Constantinople) and let them have have it. (Holy Roman Empire)
I believe that was the last major city move in historical times.
-"Not that it's ever 'too hot', because plants cope with it." Like in the Sahara for instance, plenty of plants there-
You do know that North Africa was the wheat growing center of the World during the early Roman Empire, right?
It was increasing aridity that put an end to that. With shifting climate patterns, it may yet again emerge as a major agricultural center.
-as we had already moved it to a new system during the last few months,-
And that system was where/whose?
-the company is using the downtime to purge some 250,000 user accounts that were “involved in activity which violates the Safe-mail.net Agreement and policy.”-
So they can read the emails? Doesn't sound very secure to me!
“We take the protection of personal data very seriously. A full review of our procedures has been launched and measures will be put in place to make sure this does not happen again.”
That always parses to me as: "We fucked up, we don't care. Here's some waffle to shut you up about it."
"So is he really saying they had a breakthrough and cracked currently available encryption?"
Nah, he's just saying that they've been successful in getting the concessions from the tech companies that they really wanted by using the backdoor demand as leverage.
Aw diddums, look! We've got you some shiny new blocks to play with!
The test'll be all "wink and nod", as in:
"Look what we could've done to your system."
"Yes, we'll definitely have to set up fixing that soon."
But... If a blackhat uses this opportunity as a cloak to raid, it'll be:
"Ah yes, you got us good, definitely have to fix that. Now, can we have our data back?"
"Uh, what are you talking about? We didn't do that.".