* Posts by Captain DaFt

1951 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

'This ruling does nothing to change the facts' thunders Apple in latest price-fix appeal blow

Captain DaFt
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Re: "Apple told The Reg in an emailed statement..."

That was a surprise.

Rather gives the image of Apple red-handedly clutching at every passerby and pleading, "Honest, I didn't do it, ya gotta believe me!"

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Cunning goldfish avoided predator in tank for seven years

Captain DaFt
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Re: Scraping the bottom, el Reg?

Lost in the system, always in the dark, scrounging what it needed with zero budget.

I'm sure there's some here that can empathise.

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Microsoft to offload display ads biz to ... hang on, AOL?

Captain DaFt
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Re: "This deal is further evidence of the quality of Bing "

Looks like they are holding on to Bing and its ads marketplace, just selling off the leavings to AOL.

And BING is growing! Look! AOL just got tied into a ten year deal to use it!

Probably about six years longer than AOL will continue to exist as it is.

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WikiLeaks docs show NSA's 10-year economic espionage campaign against France

Captain DaFt
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NSA! NS-oops... USA! USA!

"The new release will be a massive embarrassment to the US government, since it has long maintained that the only reason the NSA exists is to spy on evildoers online – terrorists, organized crime, drug dealers, and the like."

Why should they be embarrassed? The NSA is only ensuring that good, clean profits are making their way to wholesome, American companies instead of being siphoned of by those unsavory foreign companies that are probably using it to fund terrorist activities such as research and innovation, instead of decent, moral, endless litigation like God intended.

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Get READY: Scientists set to make TIME STAND STILL tonight

Captain DaFt
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Sigh...

Now I'm getting nostalgic for my youthful days on the net.

All this bickering and japing over time, and no one's even mentioned the Time Cube.

Ah well, no meme lives forever.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Time is an illusion...

Does time exist?

I gravely doubt it.

But gosh!

What would we do without it? -: Piet Hein

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Who wants a classic ThinkPad with whizzy new hardware? Lenovo would just love to know

Captain DaFt
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Umm... Lemme think about i... Yes! YES! YES!

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Apple pulls Civil War games in Confederate flag takedown

Captain DaFt
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Re: Fast track to offense

"It stands for racism, hatred, and slavery and always has."

Nope, as any scholar of American History will tell you. (But who listens to them?

It stood for Sates rights, the whole succession movement came about because the Federal Government was expanding its powers in ways that abrogated State Rights.

Slavery wasn't even mentioned until the second year of the war, when the northern states started demanding that the Federal Government end the bloody massacre.

Slavery? Funny thing that. The Emancipation Proclamation only ended slavery in the conquered territories. (Their term, it's right there in the proclamation itself.)

There were Northern states that continued to use slavery for another 2 years afterward, until the 13th amendment was finally added to the constitution.

Funny, that is almost never mentioned these days, or that slavery was practiced in many so called free northern states, before during and after the civil war.

"The historian Joanne Pope Melish, who has written a perceptive book on race relations in ante-bellum New England, recalls how it was possible to read American history textbooks at the high school level and never know that there was such a thing as a slave north of the Mason-Dixon Line:" - http://slavenorth.com/

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Will a datacentre be driving your car in 12 years' time?

Captain DaFt
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Cars driven by data centre

For an idea of what could possibly go wrong, play the latest version of Sim City.

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We need to know about the Internet of Things, say US Senators

Captain DaFt
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Re: Contrasts

"Anybody else bemused by the contrast between the capabilities of the NSA and the defences of government departments against web attack?"

Not really. It seems to go hand in hand that the part that wants to pry would encourage an inability to deny in the rest of the system.

Or do you think it's just a coincidence that when a member of Congress jumps up and claims that's what's happening is an outrage, almost always the follow up is a quiet, "Well, that's all right then, new funding approved."

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Killer ChAraCter HOSES almost all versions of Reader, Windows

Captain DaFt
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Re: C

Doesn't matter how good the language or programmer is if the word from on high is, "You'll have this code ready to ship tomorrow, or I'll find someone that can!"

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Ah. Adobe. Again.

"MS have completely re-written all of Windows from the ground up at least twice since this bug came in"

At Microsoft, copy and paste is considered a rewrite.

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Samsung caught disabling Windows Update to run its own bloatware

Captain DaFt
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I'd hazard a guess

"It's hard to see why Samsung thought disabling Windows Update was a good idea,"

Um, because Windows updated drivers don't collect data for Samsung?

(The paranoia spreads so easily these days.)

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Cupertino GIVES IN to Taylor Swift, will pay Apple Music royalties

Captain DaFt
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Re: Still won't persuade me

"The 90's called, they want their AC back."

And coincidentally, the noughties called, wanting their meme back.

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THIS TIME we really are ALL DOOMED, famous doomsayer prof says

Captain DaFt
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If Nature abhors a vacuum, then why does it seem so hell-bent on filling so many heads with one?

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Taylor Swift boycotts Apple Music over no-pay-for-plays shocker

Captain DaFt
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Re: What a load of crap posted here

"Opting out is possible, or did you not read the article?"

So the choice is letting them give it away and not getting paid, or opting out, and not getting paid.

Either way sucks.

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BOOM! Stephen Elop shuffled out of Microsoft door

Captain DaFt
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Re: Woo hoo!

"I'm sure there are plenty more douchebags at Microsoft, but this goes in the right direction!"

Not so sure here. At least Microsoft had him squirreled away with a nice title, far from anything worthwhile.

Now he's loose again, free to finish ruining other businesses.

(I'm waiting to see who hires him first, HP or Blackberry.)

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Captain DaFt
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Re: "However this strategy has completely failed

"Ballmer just didn't see Jobs, Page and Brin coming and utterly failed to react."

Oh, he saw and reacted. "Hm, Windows, Outlook, Word. Nope they're not affected by this, who cares?"

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There's a new build of Windows 10 Mobile, but you can't upgrade to it

Captain DaFt
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Uh huh...

Isn't this the second time MS has released a build of Win10 that couldn't be installed on something due to a bug?

Doesn't exactly inspire confidence in the care and attention paid to it, does it?

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Auto-playing video ads? People love auto-playing video ads – Twitter

Captain DaFt
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Re: Dear Twitter. Kiss My Ass.

"it's sticking your head in the microwave & nuking whatever was inside your skull that passed for brains."

EEEWWW!! That's going to splatter shit all inside the oven!

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British banks consider emoji as password replacement

Captain DaFt
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Re: Optional

My Waterloo was: "Your favorite color"

Red... invalid, must be seven or more letters

hm,

Purple... invalid, must be seven or more letters

Uh,

Yellow... invalid, must be seven or more letters

FUCKYOUDIESOB... invalid, not a color

Apparently, the site only caters to women and interior decorators.

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Zionists stole my SHOE, claims Muslim campaigner

Captain DaFt
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Re: El Reg was unable to contact Mossad for comment

How to tell Mossad has contacted El Reg:

When the author of this article finds his keys missing from his pocket, only later to find them under a couch cushion.

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Belgium privacy commish ambushes Facebook with lawsuit

Captain DaFt
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"Yes, I'm paranoid. Sadly, I have been proven right :(."

It's not paranoia if they actually are out to get you.

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Sunday Times fires off copyright complaint at Snowden story critics

Captain DaFt
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Oh dear

Ignoring everything else, now the West is claiming that China and Russia can crack encryption with ease that Western spooks are leaning on their governments to ban because they themselves can't (so they claim) crack it?

Right, and I'm the Kwisatz Haderach.

(Now accepting bids from California for rain services)

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Japanese female fish in sperm-producing strangeness

Captain DaFt
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So...

If a male Medaka tells a female Medaka to "Go fuck yourself!", is he liable for child support if she does?

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Unlucky, Palmer: Facebook's going to BAN Oculus pr0n apps

Captain DaFt
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Re: Business Model

"So, step 1: Kill the business model. Step 2: File for Chapter 7 bankruptcy? "

Um, if other similar scenarios are followed:

Step one: Kill business model

Step two: Release poorly thought out version of product

Step three: Kill product, citing "lack of demand"

Step four: Use patent portfolio to sue all successful maker of similar/not so similar products (AKA: Profit!)

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'Right to be forgotten' applies WORLDWIDE, thunders Parisian court

Captain DaFt
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"If you don't like the information, sue to have the information removed. It will then automatically vanish from all search engines."

Better yet, use the information as lyrics to a crappy song, sell it to Sony Music, and their lawyers will ensure no one will ever hear of it again.

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Linus Torvalds asks kernel devs to take a break so he can too

Captain DaFt
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Re: @ H4rm0ny

Windows 8.2?

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DON’T add me to your social network, I have NO IDEA who you are

Captain DaFt
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Re: Oh yes!

"My "fuck off and die" button was just going to be a red cross, but now I'm feeling creative...

What icon, exactly, best expresses this sentiment?"

You'll never get it past your boss, but how about a skull and crossbones icon?

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Dossiers on US spies, military snatched in 'SECOND govt data leak'

Captain DaFt
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Oh dear

Looks like they were to busy breaking into other's houses to remember to lock their own back door!

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Moon blocks Uranus for stargazers Down Under

Captain DaFt
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Truly, truly terrible.

"but Uranus will still be open to inspection."

Keep up the (good?) work El Reg!

(I'd give you a thumbs up, but... <ahem>)

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US Congress oils up, jumps over ropes into DNS wrestling match

Captain DaFt
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Re: Thought so

“Domain Openness Through Continued Oversight Matters Act of 2015”

DOTCOMA? Sounds prescient.

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Top Eurocop: People are OK with us snooping on their phone calls

Captain DaFt
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Re: At what point will the public feel safe?

"Then what happens when the next 7/7 or 9/11 happens on their watch and the public start yelling where the hell where you?!"

And if they were honest they'd answer:

"At my post, monitoring every thing you do, because if I didn't, things like this would happen."

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Using leather in 'leccy cars is 'unTesla', rages vegan shareholder

Captain DaFt
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Re: @sabroni providing the world's population with the protein it needs to survive.

"For the record I was raised out in rural derbyshire and lived close enough to farms to know what a mess an animal makes when you cut it open. That sort of visceral knowledge either turns you veggie or completely inures you to the whole thing. Fortunately for my tastebuds I soon came to the conclusion that piggies are at their best when they're sliced and smoked."

Have you ever noticed that most vegans and vegetarians tend to be city dwellers? It must be the disconnect from nature that produces such an aseptic mind set.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: providing the world's population with the protein it needs to survive.

"It would certainly be nice to have the choice as a vegetarian of a high-end car without leather seats being obligatory."

Because obviously, as a vegetarian, you're appalled at utilising an animal (yourself, walking) as a mode of transportation. eh?

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Captain DaFt
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Re: providing the world's population with the protein it needs to survive.

"I prefer tofu"

Bury him, he's already dead.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: providing the world's population with the protein it needs to survive.

"Meat isn't the most efficient way of utilising land to produce protein for humans. Even given the need to eat multiple vegetable protein sources in one meal to get a balance doesn't make meat more efficient."

Depends on the meat and available resources.

In poor areas, it's much more efficient to raise chickens, that thrive on insects, food scraps and plants we find inedible, than it is to try to maintain numerous crops to provide equivalent protein, along with the subsistence crops needed for bare survival.

Plus chickens are durable than crops during droughts, floods, and other disasters.

Similar arguments can be made for sheep, goats, and swine, depending on the area, and its resources.

It's when massive factory farming comes in that the efficiency gets skewed.

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Online identity woes can only be solved through the medium of GIF

Captain DaFt
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"Standardised National Identity Format Unification"

Oh, so close! How about:

"Standardised National Affimation Format Unification"?

I feel it more adequately conveys the end result of such a program.

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A 16 Petaflop Cray: The key to fantastic summer barbecues

Captain DaFt
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Re: Can anyone clarify?

"there is a 30% chance of rain in Atlanta today". At that very instant, it was throwing it down in buckets outside the terminal.

So, what does "there is a 30% probability of rain today" actually *mean*?"

It meant exactly what you observed.

Casual observations over the years show that, if you're in the southern US, anything less than a 60% chance may be safely ignored, unless it's 30%. Then it's guaranteed to be pissing down in buckets.

I suspect it's a little inside joke of the Weather Bureau.

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Adobe to hire security auditor to prevent repeat of password SNAFU

Captain DaFt
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Well, cool.

So a company that's worth billions has finally condescended to spend a few grand to look for security holes two years after a publicly embarrassing breach. Color me me impressed.

Caveat: The above post may contain traces of sarcasm.

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Is that a graphics driver on your shop's register – or a RAM-slurping bank card thief?

Captain DaFt
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No back doors here

It seems to me that all the security talk of 'back doors' in modern software may be misleading.

How the heck can you have a back door if there isn't a wall to support it?

'Back door'? More like unfenced 'back yard'.

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'Stolen' art found on nearby shelf. Police keep looking anyway

Captain DaFt
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"a system in which her predecessors voraciously acquired collections for the library, but didn’t keep records to accompany them."

And now we know what the head of the NSA did at his previous job.

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Chips can kill: Official

Captain DaFt
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"I'm still here, overweight, half dead, blind and bald but still quite capable of downing half a bottle of whiskey before a KFC breakfast bucket and still having time for a fag before going jogging ..."

Whoa, now that's just irresponsible! You can seriously damage yourself with too much jogging! Just ask Jim Fixx... wait, no, he died jogging, didn't he?

(Silly bugger, trying to outrun the Grim Reaper.)

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Eat healthily,

"But have a better quality of life before you die, I think that is the point."

Ah yes, those extra five to ten years crapping all over my senile self in a nursing home, definitely something to practice self denial for!

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Eat healthily,

Just consult this handy chart:

http://drboli.com/2015/03/12/human-mortality-predictor/

Or, if you're in a hurry, my abridged version:

Are you alive?

Yes: You’re going to die.

No: You’re lying, and you’re still going to die.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: I believe the bacon...

"I'm not sure that going without all the supposedly unhealthy stuff really *does* make you live longer. It just *seems* longer ..."

"I once gave up drinking martinis for a day, it was the longest two years of my life!" - Jackie Gleason

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Caterham 270S: The automotive equivalent of crack

Captain DaFt
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Re: 30k for a bare bones car?

"Don't get me wrong, that's a very cool car, but the price is ridiculous."

Ahem: "The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys." - unknown

And this is very much a man's toy.

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ISIS command post obliterated after 'moron' jihadi snaps a selfie, says US Air Force

Captain DaFt
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Re: Official Title

I'd go for accuracy, Murderous gits seems about right.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Why do we tell them this?

"Keep quiet and let them figure out how we are taking out their C&C."

Or better yet, let it leak who clued them in, but not how.

Isn't that how intelligence agencies are supposed to work? Spread fear and mistrust among the baddies, not crow about how you did it to World + dog?

Looks like 'American Intelligence' ain't!

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UK NHS IT supplier CSC coughs up $190m fine, three execs in the dock

Captain DaFt
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Whoopee! Clean slate, business as usual!

"the company has agreed to the payout on the condition it doesn't have to admit any wrongdoing."

And then it's free to boast 'cleared of any wrong doing' while negotiating its next contract. A nice way to keep 'clean' hands when dealing with companies that can't or won't do business with corps that have a black mark on their record.

At the very least, letting them use the 'doesn't have to admit any wrongdoing' clause should at least double the fine.

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