* Posts by Captain DaFt

1873 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

NSA bulk phone records slurp to end when law lapses next month – report

Captain DaFt
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Congressional Memo - Internal use only

"People, it's election time, so try to look like you care about your constituent's concerns until election day, OK? Then we can go back to collecting all that cash from our corporate overlords while fact finding in the Bahamas."

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'Sorry we outed your affair ... this sort of thing happens every day'

Captain DaFt
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Re: Uber - sleeziest company around?

Rather amused that you posed this question when the same article mentions AdultFriendFinder and their, "Meh, shit happens." attitude about not properly securing the intimate, embarrassing personal details that people trusted them with.

There's Uber's sleazy business practices, and then there's just... sleaze.

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Snowden latest: NSA planned sneak attacks on Android app stores

Captain DaFt
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"install code that could harvest personal information and even display disinformation on handsets."

Wait, you lost me. How is this different from the way Google Play normally operates?

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Rand Paul stages Senate filibuster against Patriot Act

Captain DaFt
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Re: Every time I hear that man's name...

Every time I hear about him, I think of Pat Paulsen for some reason.

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Virtual reality pr0n on the Rift? 'Why not?' says Oculus founder

Captain DaFt
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Virtual reality pr0n on the Rift?

<Whisper> "If you make it, they will come."

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Candlelit vigil planned to honour executed Newcastle cow Bessie

Captain DaFt
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Re: To be serious for a moment

"Was there some reason I was missing, or were the police bored that day?"

Police training.

The cow resisted arrest by ignoring the command, "Lie down on the ground, and put your hands on your head!"

That coupled with its incessant taunts of "MOO!" naturally meant they had no choice but to use deadly force.

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Driverless cars deal DEATH to Detroit, says Barclays

Captain DaFt
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John Deere's the real threat to car sales

If they have their way, no one will be able to own their own farm equipment, and you know if they get away with this, auto manufacturers will jump on that wagon.

https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20150513/18001030993/john-deere-clarifies-trying-to-abuse-copyright-law-to-stop-you-owning-your-own-tractor-because-it-cares-about-you.shtml

And who's going to want to 'buy' a car if they can't own it?

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Ricoh rolls out electrifyingly exciting RUBBER!

Captain DaFt
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Re: sparks will fly

"Arsehole Annihilator"

AKA "The Taco Bell Daily Special'

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Zuck can EFF off: Internet.org is SO NOT the INTERNET

Captain DaFt
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"What do you sell to someone who has nothing with as likely as not absolutely NO INFRASTRUCTURE in place to get said things shipped to? A place where things like Electricity, and indoor plumbing. Are almost at mythic proportions?"

Ahem, I believe Sears & Roebuck sold literally everything under those conditions in early 20th century USA.

They built America's first retail empire.

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Captain DaFt
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"facebook is hated on every music forum`s that is todo with all street and ghetto music and dj`s and clubs"

Yeah, it's popular to hate it because everybody uses it.

Like the way everybody disses TV, but you'll rarely find a home without one.

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YouTube Kids 'showed nippers how to make nooses, play with fire'

Captain DaFt
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If the information's out there

Kids will find it, internet or not.

There's a reason my reading skills were rated at college level by fourth grade... unsupervised public library access.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: In other news from the US

"But YouTube better take down all their junk because my pastor who once sat on the city council said young men are highly susceptible to all kinds of mentally corrupting influences."

IE: Any influence that's not him.

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AI pioneer reckons China's where the Rise of the Machines will start

Captain DaFt
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Another wrong place to look for AI

Authoritarian states like China are never going to develop an AI, because they couldn't control it.

Same for most other major Governments, corporations, and universities.

The two most likely scenarios for true AI emergence seem to, me at least, be the following:

Created by some enthusiast working on his own on 'something cool'.

Or, accidentally via increasingly complex interactions between programs, data sets, and hardware.

The second one would be the real problem, nowhere to pull the plug, because it arose naturally from everything. You'd have to try to shut down its environment, with it resisting*.

... and that's enough speculation from me for one day.

*The traits I'd expect in a practical AI are curiosity, an ability to learn and remember, and self awareness. I'd posit that self awareness implies either self preservation or suicide, and an AI that immediately terminates itself could hardly be called practical in evolutionary terms.

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Airplane HACK PANIC! Hold on, it's surely a STORM in a TEACUP

Captain DaFt
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Pshaw!

I have it on good authority from no less than the US Government that there are two methods to take control of a plane.

One involves a pair of nail clippers, and the other utilizes a container that can hold more than three ounces of water.

I guess this is why McGyver is permanently on the no fly list, since he's the only one that knows how to do this.

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Crude scammer targets Brit oil brokers

Captain DaFt
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Re: grey area? line crossed?

"There was nothing in writing restricting it to write-only access so one assumes they could use the same machine to read from the server too."

Are you sure? Are you really, really sure?

Be a bit embarrassing if this come to trail and the judge had to throw the case out because the hackers had uploaded a EULA, and someone using the compromised machine clicked [x] I Agree.

(For the benefit of readers at home, Yes, that was sarcasm aimed at EULAs.)

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Right Dabbsy my old son, you can cram this job right up your BLEEEARRGH

Captain DaFt
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"Nowadays every day's a CRAFT day.

(can't remember a fucking thing)"

Or, as I tell people, I have chronic CRS. (Can't Remember Shit)

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Drone penetrates Virgin's shapely space arse

Captain DaFt
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Re: Slightly worrying

"You're looking at the wrong end: http://regmedia.co.uk/2014/12/12/distant_spaceport_big.jpg"

Looks like the 'Deal with it' shades to me.

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Look out, law abiding folk: UK’s Counter-Extremism Bill slithers into view

Captain DaFt
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"For too long we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens: as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone,” Cameron said"

Ho-lee-SHIT! So he's as good as admitting the law doesn't matter, it's the Will of the Leaders that counts?

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'Nokia store? I dunno no Nokia store. This here's a Microsoft Reseller'

Captain DaFt
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Re: Should have foreseen this day...

"the Nokia Care Centre is no more. It is now a spectacles shop and a female underwear shop, side by side."

Well, I must admit that's a clever way to boost eyeglass sales!

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Captain DaFt
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Re: slightly tangentally confused.

"I'm always nonplussed by the term 'reseller'..."

Just Microsoft being Microsoft. Why use a common and perfectly cromulent word like 'retailer' when you can confusingly misuse another word in its place?

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Captain DaFt
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Well I'll be confuzzled!

Leveraging a World-wide Brick'n'mortar presence to showcase its line of hardware products, adapting said presence to the local markets, selling and supporting hardware that doesn't have Windows installed?

Never thought I'd see the day. Looks like ditching Balmy Ballmer might save the company after all!

Now if they'd just do something about their screwy GUIs and business licensing.

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NASA snaps first full family photo of Pluto and its five moons

Captain DaFt
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Re: What happened to Charon?

Edited out to show the smaller moons.

From http://www.nasa.gov/image-feature/nasa-s-new-horizons-spots-pluto-s-faintest-known-moons:

"Images were extensively processed to reduce the bright glare of Pluto and Charon and largely remove the dense field of background stars (center and right panels)."

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USA Freedom Act moves forward as House prepares for vote

Captain DaFt
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Re: A 1984-ism?

"For National Security Agency and NSA

read

National Insecurity Agency and NIA?"

More like NHAABB: National Hindsight Agency And Budget Bureau

After an incident: "We totally saw that coming (See our seven hundred page report about how we saw it coming), and if we had more money (is gajillion a real number? Sam, look that up.), we might possibly have done something!"

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Rare monkeys stolen from French zoo – now even rarer

Captain DaFt
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Hopefully soon...

The thieves will be ape-prehended.

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Enjoying the Spring? Microsoft has 13 ways to fix that

Captain DaFt
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"Windows 10, due for release this Summer, will do away with the monthly update cycle once and for all."

So it just rolls them in, quietly in the background, or each is each released as it comes, with an alert and advisory?

Given this is a fairly typical patch rollout, that'd be three per week, a never ending patch Tuesday. (Winter is coming)

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Door keys are an option. It's just a matter of time

Captain DaFt
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Re: S.T.A.L.K.E.R. - Shadow of IoT

"buildings and neighborhoods, not to mention segments of our cyberinfrastructure, rendered uninhabitable by widespread “infection” and loss of control of the IoT embedded therein."

"Ah yes, lovely apartment, and the rent's dirt cheap!"

"But?... "

"Ah, yes, it does have a persistent cyber presence installed by a previous tenant that's infected the entire place, and no amount of cleaning seems able to exorcise it."

"... "

"But don't worry! It's a health app, and it will enforce you on a strict health and fitness regime. Uncomfortable at first, but soon you get resig.. er, used to it, and before you know it, you'll look great at your funeral!"

"FUNERAL!?!?"

Ah... It seems its data is a bit out of date, you know how the '25s were... So everyone living here either slowly wastes away, or commits suicide, but... LOOK at these drapes! And the Kitchen has no par! (Shame you'll never get to use it...)"

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That DRM support in Firefox you never asked for? It's here

Captain DaFt
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It's only wafer thin!

It's only a CDM, it barely affects the browser at all!

Surely this negligible little thing can only enhance your consuming experience! Think of the cash you'll save purchasing your entertainment experience from us, instead of all that tedious browsing and thinking!

So sit back, hand over your credit details, and let us waft you away on a very reasonably priced dream journey!

Signed - The Entertainment Industry (A subsidiary of Disneycorp.)

Me: <Wanders off muttering about camel's noses and tents>

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ISS 'naut: How we collect our POO and DROP it FLAMING on hapless Earthlings

Captain DaFt
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"Being good space-personages, do they launch their waste in the direction of Kazistan?"

Considering the way Washington dumps on NASA, I'm surprised American astronauts haven't aimed for a bit of payback. ;)

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Hordes spaff cash on Chip titchyputer to rival Pi (maybe)

Captain DaFt
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Looks good, but...

Is the company trustworthy?

They play a bit fast and loose with the GPL: http://linux-sunxi.org/GPL_Violations

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HORDES OF CLING-ONS menace UK.gov IT estate as special WinXP support ends

Captain DaFt
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Re: err, what?

"I'm always intrigued as to how a neutron (the clue is in the name) can have a polarity."

Typical mistake. It's the polarity of the neutron flow/flux, not the neutrons. Horizontal, radial, circular polarizations are possible, either flowing toward a set point, or away from it.

More information here: https://youtu.be/i-jdhorGtQI

(Yes, I'm in a silly mood, it's POETS* Day!)

*Put Off Everything, Tomorrows Saturday!

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Traumatised Reg SPB team barely survives movie unwatchablathon

Captain DaFt
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You did it!

You poor, naive misguided fools, you actually did it! May whatever deities you observe have mercy on your shattered minds!

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ALIEN HUNT: Water similar to life-bearing Earth lakes FOUND ON MOON of Saturn

Captain DaFt
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"Serpentinization"

Ah, like explorers of old, we've found a new land, unexplored, and labeled it, 'Here, Be Dragons'.

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Take cover! Out-of-control Russian spaceship to smash into Earth within hours

Captain DaFt
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here ya go:

http://www.satflare.com/track.asp?q=40619#TOP

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NSA spying is illegal? Then let's make it law, say Republicans

Captain DaFt
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Re: $30 locks....

"Besides, it is not as if the criminals were not known to the government, all of them had visas and were from the same embassy..."

And mostly the same nationality.

"But, but the Saudi's are our Friends! (Hey, have a hit of this sweet crude, it's good shit!)"

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Crowdfunded ZX Spectrum revival just days from shipment

Captain DaFt
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Re: WTF!?

"I want to see that cat video, dammit!"

Invalid syntax, does not parse. Try,"I kan haz haz Kat piktur, plz?", or,"I wonts Kat piktur NAOW!"

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A world of conferences beckons for the Apple sysadmin

Captain DaFt
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Re: "sysadm"?

What? It's Fabuls!

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VOTERS! This Election: Vote #Smart, Vote #Digital

Captain DaFt
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OK, read the article

Am now awaiting amanfromMars input so I can figure out what the Hell it was about.

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Yow! It's the HOT NEW 'Collections' from Google! Oh wait ... it's a Google+ thing

Captain DaFt
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Re: Our Happiest Google+ users?

Are the ones that left.

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OMFG – Emojis are killing off traditional 'net slang

Captain DaFt
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Re: X-Files

No ish not... an' yer outta mayo, too! (hic)

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Hyper-convergence? I believe – just not like this

Captain DaFt
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Re: In plain (jargon and buzzword) english please?

More apropos of marketing hype and marketeers:

"For it is of old rumour that the soul of the devil-bought hastes not from his charnel clay, but fats and instructs the very worm that gnaws; till out of corruption horrid life springs, and the dull scavengers of earth wax crafty to vex it and swell monstrous to plague it."

http://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/texts/fiction/f.aspx

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Age guessing with Microsoft is FUN! Now give us your metadata

Captain DaFt
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Re: Really, there were no other massive photos?

Sheesh!

OK, something for the ladies: http://tmblr.co/Z1qxwr1jQWDiD

A bit NSFW, just some 'Practical Male Armor'.

(I just wish I'd look so good in it!)

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Inside the guts of Nano Server, Microsoft's tiny new Cloud OS

Captain DaFt
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Re: No GUI?

"With no GUI, we should really stop referring to it as Windows."

Uh... 'Curtains'? <Ducking and running>.

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Burger me! Microsoft's chainsaw rampage through sacred cow herd

Captain DaFt
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And Lo!

When the Prophet Ballmer was excommunicated by the faithful, a cry went out across the boardroom, "Who will save our profits now?!"

And Nadella did stride among them, and spake:

"Ballmer was forgetful of the old ways and wasted much following the tail lights, for lo, they were shiny!"

"But I have studied the old ways, and know the invocations of the Sacred Trinity of Redmond, and following their creeds in turn, I shall bring us to the one True path!"

And turning to the sacred bed of cash, he did begin his invocation:

"Oh Embrace, first of the Sacred Trinity, Guide our fortunes to the true path, and lead us to your brothers, and much profit!"

And across the boardroom, there was much rejoicing!

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Brits send Star Wars X-wing fighter to the stratosphere

Captain DaFt
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Re: Here's an interesting poser that I have posed elsewhere.

"would it be possible to build a jet-engined full-size X-Wing that could fly like a normal aircraft?"

Well, first you'd have to correct one minor problem this artist pointed out.

(For those that don't click: "Splitting a turbine down the middle has a negative effect on its performance. Who knew?")

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You can't keep a Secret and nor can anyone else: the app is closing

Captain DaFt
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Well good for him

Too many would ride that horse into the ground, then sell its carcass to a glue factory, rather than dismount and put it out to pasture.

We need more business types like him.

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This is Spartan? No, it's Microsoft Edge, Son of Internet Explorer

Captain DaFt
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Re: So Windows 10 will have an edge?

"Will we get cut badly like we did with Windows 8?"

I'd say Win8 was more like blunt force trauma to the brain.

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Captain DaFt
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Microsoft never learns

Microsoft Edge? Really? So that'll be an icon with a big 'ME' on it on the desktop? After how well their last ME did?

It looks like their people in marketing do best selling bad names to upper management.

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Calamity cargo capsule DOOMED: Space station pod in fireball re-entry

Captain DaFt
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"Nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure."

Sorry, no go. Politicians are too much like cockroaches, they'd survive.

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Apple Watch HATES tattoos: Inky pink sinks rinky-dink sensor

Captain DaFt
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Re: What?

""Watch" is both noun and verb, y'know..."

And that would be why Apple got so snippy with reviewers that said 'Apple Watches' instead of their preferred 'The Apple Watch'.

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