* Posts by Captain DaFt

2898 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Captain DaFt
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"Is there a tea bush growing within 3,000 miles of Yorkshire?"

Actually, much closer than that: https://tregothnan.co.uk/about/

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Captain DaFt
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Is it acceptable to add the milk to the tea pot?

No.

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Windows 10 Pro Anniversary Update tweaked to stop you disabling app promos

Captain DaFt
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Re: MS is Trumping

"or take the blue pill and let W10 have fun with their ass."

No need for metaphor, the PHBs don't understand.

Put it in plain talk:

"Upgrade to Win 10 and let MS siphon your business account."

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Captain DaFt
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Re: SLATFATF

Sad thing is, people jumped on the Free Win 10, without once considering the ancient wisdom; TANSTAAFL

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Jacob Appelbaum is a bullying sex pest, says ex-employer Tor Project

Captain DaFt
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Re: Takeover of TOR

"If the TLA's wanted to shut TOR down then stopping its US Govt funding would be far simpler."

Shut it down? Nah, the American TLAs want to access and control it, while keeping it secure from "Da terr'ists gubmints!"

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Yahoo! She said yes. Verizon confirms $4.8bn acquisition

Captain DaFt
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Erm... so what exactly is Verizon buying?

A full suite of out of date and poorly run websites, of course.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Dear Ms Marissa Meyer

"Think she changed the font, or the angle of the !"

And don't forget the weekend (She worked the whole weekend, for chrissakes!) of labour spent choosing just the shade of purple, as well as the font and angled "!" for the logo!

Truly worth the rumoured $150 million severance package!

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Glassdoor spaffs users' email addresses in bcc fail

Captain DaFt
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Re: "We are incredibly sorry for our error"

Nowadays, when I see this:

"We take the privacy of our users very seriously and are taking corrective steps to ensure this doesn’t happen again."

It gets internally processed as corporate speak for:

"Aw, here's the world's smallest violin playing Hearts and Flowers, just for you. Ain't it grand being our client?"

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Tesla's Model S autonomous mode may have saved a life

Captain DaFt
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Re: And I'm protecting you all

"Raise your hand all of you who have been harassed by little green men."

The Ukraine have their hands raised... Now what?

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Apple Watch craze over before it started: Wrist-puter drags market screaming off a cliff

Captain DaFt
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Really? I mean really?

That headline, plus the opening paragraph:

"Smartwatch shipments are in freefall thanks to slowing sales of the Apple Watch."

Nope. Looks like Apple Watch shipments are in freefall, but everybody else is doing fine. It's right there in the article's own graphs.

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All you need for quantum computing at room temperature is some mothballs

Captain DaFt
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Re: Interesting

"but how does the superposition of all states (0,1,2,3) collapse to the correct answer?"

This stuff gives me anxiety when I try to figure it out, but I find it perversely fascinating.

The best answer I can wrap my head around is that a superposition collapses to a known state when observed, and the observation itself determines the collapsed state.

In this case the the "observation" is actually done by the equation "3 - 2", which causes the superpostion to collapse to the desired state "1".

The word "observation" is actually misleading, as it implies intelligence and intent. It's actually any action on the superpostion that causes it to collapse.

That's why superpostion is so hard to maintain. Literally anything, energy, matter, random quantum fluctuations, can collapse it.

Where's my headache pills?

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Microbe drives tropical butterfly species to a male-killing frenzy

Captain DaFt
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"Then we can start on genetically engineering a version that affects humans in order to be one step closer to triggering a zombie apocalypse."

Naw, we humans are clever and use software instead of genetics.

Ever hear of Pokemon Go?

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An anniversary to remember: The world's only air-to-air nuke was fired on 19 July, 1957

Captain DaFt
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"one question I have always had, what happens to the bombs and warheads on the destroyed bombers?"

Well, I'm not a nuclear physicist, but I'd hazard that any armed bombs on planes in the fireball might detonate, but most likely "fizzle", making the blast cloud that much more radioactive.

Outside the fireball, but near it, some might detonate or "fizzle", most would have their detonators wrecked (along with the plane and crew) and crash. A few might survive to detonate when they hit blast altitude.

Safely outside the blast radius, lots of brown stains on the seating and uniform trousers of the bombing crews.

I hope they were planning on this taking place over the oceans, because there would be a lot of highly radioactive debris coming down! (and downwind!)

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Handover of US internet control to ICANN officially blocked in Republican policy

Captain DaFt
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How to prove that you're not a terrorist? Simple, just take this easy test (No cheating, all answers checked by the CIA, NHS, NSA, and John Herbert):

1. Are you a member of the top financial one percent?

[]YES

[]NO, therefore I am a terrorist.

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Captain DaFt
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"Protecting Internet Freedom."

From the PDF:

"We will ensure that personal data receives full constitutional protection from government overreach."

Yeah, yeah, just like you've done so far, right?

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Dying! Yahoo! writes! off! half! of! the! $1bn! it! paid! for! Tumblr!

Captain DaFt
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"I'm amazed that hosting angsty tween blogs and hipster poetry doesn't generate more revenue."

It's not for lack of badly trying.

The pre-Yahoo! Tumblr sites still load normally.

The Yahoo! era Tumblr sites tend to not work correctly if you have ads and tracking disabled with your browser.

Add to that the Tumblr patrons that left when Yahoo! acquired it, and the many that were banned with no warning and no reason ever given, It's no wonder Tumblr's losing ever more and more value.

It used to be a lively place for opinions, good and bad, art, discussion, and general WTF'kery, but it's been turned into a Yahoo! Groups clone.

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Trump? Terror? Turkey? Whoa, there's a Tentacool in that Bush...

Captain DaFt
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Re: Let us not forget

"Its good to know that MY future now doesn't rest in the hands these utter cretins."

Let me help you a bit here.

They should (check as applicable)

[]Do drugs, riot in the streets and chase 'Free Love'

[]Snort cocaine and dance in discos all night

[]Spend all their time on the couch watching telly

[]Hang out at shops harassing people and starting brawls

[]Play snooker/pool/darts and drink beer in pubs

[]Follow a cult

During their free time, like I did back in the day.

Made a Man out of me, it did! Youth these days, don't even know they're born.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: IN THE FUTURE

"Instead of a boring General Election, couldn't the leaders of the political parties vie for control of the country by trying to get the highest score on Galaxians?"

I'd still prefer if they were given clubs and locked in a pitch-dark room until one survived to be the winner.

Then hold an election to determine whether or not to unlock the door and let the winner out.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: It's amazing what people will do to prevent positive change

"what kind of lure do you need to catch a trump, a clinton, a miley cyrus or a kardashion bimbo?"

Media exposure and reams of cash have worked well in the past, and probably well into the future as well.

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Opera sells open-source Chromium browser for $600m to Chinese bods

Captain DaFt
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Re: Golden Brick Capital

"Hey GBC, if you'd like to ring me on this premium rate number I'd like to have a long chat about a bridge I've got for sale ..."

Sorry. But they might not have much cash left after I've sold them exclusive rights to all the seafront property in Nebraska. :)

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Captain DaFt
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Re: other chrome alternatives are available

"Or if not Chrome why not use PaleMoon? Doesn't have to be FF."

Or even Seamonkey.

Up to date, plugins similar to FF, and it's a full internet suite (browser, email, RSS, IRC), in a smaller footprint than FF.

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Chinese hacker jailed for shipping aerospace secrets home

Captain DaFt
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"I am not sure what possible use the Chinese could have of the details of the F-35."

"Gentlemen, study these stolen plans well and learn from them. They explain in detail the wrong way to build a world class fighter jet."

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Ivory tower drops water bombs on dumpster fire

Captain DaFt
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-I wish that we had a "None of the above."-

Amen to that!

Unfortunately, It's been "bad or worse" choices for President for decades now.

This campaign it's "laughably bad or frighteningly bad".

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Space station to get shiny new ringpiece for automatic penetration

Captain DaFt
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Re: Passive?

"Only participating nations on Earth have the plans for the International Docking Standard, so passing Aliens will be completely unable to connect to it."

But what if the aliens have an analogue for our universal adapter? IE: gaffer tape.

"You might be a green-neck from Sirius if..." :)

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Alleged Aussie plum plucker pleads guilty to motel tissue swipe

Captain DaFt
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"Sharp-eyed medical staff spotted that the wincing antipodean had sustained damage to his lunch box and started asking awkward questions."

And the gentleman in question didn't respond, "Fix the damn problem I came to be treated for, and MYOB!!"?

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Brit Science Minister to probe Brexit bias against UK-based scientists

Captain DaFt
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Re: "EU rules still apply until we've actually left."

Well, this just appalls and disgusts me no end!

"£179 towards a hemp farm"

Should've been at least three more digits on that amount!

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Tupperware vehemently denies any link to storage containerisation

Captain DaFt
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Re: Tsk

-I was shocked when he said they still have a Tupperware "show"-

I believe the term was "Tupperware Party".

Back in my grandmother's day, if you had too many friends causing way too much of your time to be eaten up with social engagements, throwing a Tupperware party (which usually consisted of bad coffee, stale cake/doughnuts, and a non-stop marketing spiel) usually trimmed down your social contacts to the point you could enjoy life again.

As a young lad with no tastebuds, the leftover stale cake/doughnuts was a welcome treat.

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Student Loans Company burns £50 million in IT project superfail

Captain DaFt
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Re: How the fec....?

"do you spend £50m on something like this and not deliver anything?"

It delivered... Cash to the right pockets, and promises of high paying positions later to politicians involved.

Whether or not an actual product that was promised is delivered is beside the point.

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Revolutionary Brit-made SABRE hybrid rocket engine to burn in 2020

Captain DaFt
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Re: Precoolers

"Or am I missing something?"

Just this.

Although turbojets are what most people think of when they hear "jet engine", technically, any engine that provides thrust by a jet of high energy exhaust is a "jet engine".

In fact, rockets are a type of jet engine. That's why These guys use it in their name.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: More Eu funding to be renegotiated

"All the money is coming from the UK government."

<sarc>All that money being wasted on science and the future when Government agencies are going begging for the billions they need to spend on IT projects to cancel after the proper pockets are lined. It's an outrage I tell ya! *sputter* *fume*<sarc>

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Pimp your ride with new Linux for cars and an rPi under the hood

Captain DaFt
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Ok, shoot me...

but I gotta ask.

If I switch my car to Linux... will I have to recompile the driver?

(Sounds painful!)

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Webpages, Word files, print servers menacing Windows PCs – yup, it's Patch Tuesday

Captain DaFt
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Re: Patching Flash

"No, I'm sure these 52 patches will cover it. There can't be many more problems left with Flash by now?"

It's like treating leprosy by adding more bandages. The disease is within, covering the surface blemishes is futile.

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IBM scraps loyal staffer gifts in favour of... a congratulatory social page

Captain DaFt
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Re: Recognition

"We have "recognition rocks," actual painted rocks that they give out to whoever they want to recognize. You get to keep it on your desk for two weeks, and then you have to give it to someone else."

Hmm, that might actually motivate me.

If I get to pick who gets it and how hard I can throw it. >:)

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Linus Torvalds in sweary rant about punctuation in kernel comments

Captain DaFt
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Re: Well there is a point to this

"In my experience, you read the comments and then realise that the comments have little or no bearing on the actual code..."

Oh, Oh! You mean this one?

/* I wrote this kludge because the boss said if the code wasn't ready to ship tomorrow my ass was fired. I'm starting a better job at a better company next month and I'd prefer to collect a paycheck until then. To whoever gets my job and has to maintain this --- May God have mercy on your soul! */

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SETI mulls reboot: Believing the strangest things, loving the alien

Captain DaFt
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Re: Limited by the speed of light

"And by the time the data gets here, it's so weak and corrupt as to be indistinguishable from white noise."

Given today's, or any foreseeable, technology of the future, the only way to deliberately communicate with another solar system's intelligent life is the old standard "message in a bottle".

Sending out probes with the message, "This is Who and where we are.", like we did with the voyagers, and hoping that someday, somehow, someone else finds them.

In all probability whoever sent them will be long gone by the time we find any, but at least we'd know that they once existed.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Alien search

"Wait. I thought we were looking for intelligent life?"

On my more cynical days, I feel that the first true sign of intelligent life on Earth would be the immediate and permanent withdrawal of itself from the Planet.

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Step 1.

"Step 3: ???"

Step 3: Don't get eaten by them.

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In mourning for Nano, chap crafts 1k-loc text editor

Captain DaFt
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Re: Single line?

"Let's see people produce a complete game or utility when restricted to, what, 40 characters."

data:text/html, <html contenteditable>

Cut and paste that in your navigation bar. Boom! Text editor!

Not mine, But I thought it was a clever bit of html.

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Rolls-Royce reckons robot cargo ships are the future of the seas

Captain DaFt
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Re: Coming soon, the newest hacker sport;

"You think the kids of today have an attention span long enough"

There are conventions and play-offs devoted to playing Desert Bus, so I wouldn't dismiss the hardcore gamers playing with cargo ships so casually.

You can play Desert Bus online here, if you're feeling a bit masochistic.

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Captain DaFt
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Coming soon, the newest hacker sport;

Ro-boat Wars! Play it live with an Android App!

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Microsoft's cringey 'Hey bae <3' recruiter email translated by El Reg

Captain DaFt
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Re: Poor Microsoft

What would you expect them to do?

Actually offer a fun work environment with great benefits and a chance to work on great projects that people actually want?

(He said with a perfectly straight face.)

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Captain DaFt
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" I was trying to think of an analogous moment which is comparable to that horrifically embarrassing email."

Got one: Your date arrives just in time to meet your parents... Who are heading out to a Rocky Horror Picture Show viewing... in full costume.

"Dammit dad! If you have to wear fishnet stockings in public, would it kill you to at least shave your legs??"

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FBI won't jail future US president over private email server

Captain DaFt
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Re: Interesting downplaying there

"So classified material was definitively found, but they're ignoring it because it's not as bad as it could have been?"

Well, be fair.

If she'd used an officially sanctioned server, that data'd be available for download on the web now. So yes, it could be worse. :/

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Humans and bees share the same sociability genes

Captain DaFt
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Re: This explains Project Fear.

"And the aggressive panic spreading through the hipster population."

"Pheromones"

You may be on to something there.

I've noticed an unusual odor that becomes manifest over the stressful Holiday season every Winter wherever hipsters congregate, Eg: coffee shops. It smells like pumpkin spice.

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Android tablets too bitter a pill for Dell

Captain DaFt
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And a Dell PR rep said:

"Well, Brexit seemed like a good idea, so we thought we'd try 'Drexit. What could possibly go wrong?"

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Microsoft's Windows 10 nagware goes FULL SCREEN in final push

Captain DaFt
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Re: A final throw of the dice before

"But who knows... IF win10 goes subscription, maybe then m$ could be hammered with a class action"

Nah, nah, Win 10 is touted as "The lasted Windows you'll ever buy", buy MS's own marketeers.

As soon as the kerfuffle settles down, there'll be new popups on Win 10 and Win 7 machines;

"Sign up now for NEW Win Cloud*!"

"The perpetually up to date Windows!"

"Only $19.99 a month!"

"[]Yes, at once!"

"[]Ask me again in 10 seconds."

*Or whatever dorky name Windows Marketing comes up with.

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Pollster who called the EU referendum right: No late Leave swing after all

Captain DaFt
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"Anything can be verbed."

And it works rather well, too!

"Day off, nowhere to go, nothing on the telly, so I just anythinged around the house all day."

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Luck, not skill?

"voter opinion could change after they sample their data"

Or the way a question is worded.

A person might tell the pollster they feel the UK should remain with the EU, but intend to vote "leave" as a protest.

So the difference between asking, "Should we remain in the EU or leave?", or, "Are you voting leave or remain?", could give totally different results.

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A trip to the Twilight Zone with a support guy called Iron Maiden

Captain DaFt
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Oh, the wonders of language and meaning

Nothing's changed since 1918.

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