* Posts by Captain DaFt

1801 posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

Go for a spin on Record Store Day: Lifting the lid on vinyl, CD and tape

Captain DaFt
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Skrssh-skrssh-skrssh...

[crackle]Yes[pop]vin[hrss]nyl[pop]cer[sh]tainly[hrss]had[hrssh]a[crackle]certain[sshsshssh]some[pop]thing[crackle]that's[shhshhshh] mis[shshsh]sing[pop]in[pop]today's[shshshs]musi[crack]musi[crack]musi[crack]musi[crack]musi...

Can't quite put my finger on what, though.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Tortilla de patatas

Captain DaFt
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Re: Yum!

"Mate, you'll be knocking up a bloody quiche next"

Ah, but us smart ones caught on to that ruse. The meterosexuals knew that if they called it 'bacon pie' as it rightfully should be, us real men would take it away from them!

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Captain DaFt
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As a famous Cajun chef once said,"If it ain't got on-ye-on, it better be dessert!"

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RADIOACTIVE WWII aircraft carrier FOUND OFF CALIFORNIA

Captain DaFt
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Re: No shit. We've known this for over half a century.

"mutations that result in horribly deformed offspring unable to live more than a few days will go unnoticed "

Oh, it was noticed, but it was also noticed that surviving generations are healthy and thriving, despite being radioactive:

"Some animals in the worst-hit areas also died or stopped reproducing. Mice embryos simply dissolved, while horses left on an island 6km from the power plant died when their thyroid glands disintegrated.

Cattle on the same island were stunted due to thyroid damage, but the next generation were found to be surprisingly normal.

Now it's typical for animals to be radioactive - too radioactive for humans to eat safely - but otherwise healthy."

From: http://pripyat.com/en/articles/wildlife-defies-chernobyl-radiation.html

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Captain DaFt
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Re: "This aircraft carrier-

"Anything that needs nuking TWICE is seriously badass"

"So...Japan, then?"

Well, definitely this guy:

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2013/06/the-man-who-survived-two-nuclear-bomb-attacks/

Nuked twice, and walked away both times, lived to be 93.

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US Navy robot war-jet refuels in air: But Mav and Iceman are going down fighting

Captain DaFt
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Re: It takes a real pilot.......!

"It needs politicians to apply some serious common-sense."

That was one Hell of a punch line!

Jim, you should give up the day job, because you definitely have a talent for comedy writing!

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Default admin password, weak Wi-Fi, open USB ports ... no wonder these electronic voting boxes are now BANNED

Captain DaFt
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What an odd country, this USA.

Imagine, voting machines that're open to everybody to tamper with, but gaming video cards and their drivers are locked down tighter than Fort Knox.

http://m.theregister.co.uk/2015/04/15/nvidia_gtx_900_linux_driver_roadbloack/

Apparently, if it won't make a buck, who gives a fuck about security?

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APT group hacks cyber-spy gang in spy-on-spy pwnage

Captain DaFt
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"I must be getting old....I thought "APT" stood for "Advanced Passenger Train""

These days it's "All People (are) Terrorists" according to the NSA.

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India tech firms flee from Facebook's 'freebie access' Internet.org

Captain DaFt
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"Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg says a little internet is better than none, however."

Uh, no.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/no_internet

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DRONE ALONE: US Navy secretary gives up on manned fighters

Captain DaFt
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Re: All will be well then...

"lets automate the carriers too - drone carriers, automated 3d printers fabricating automated drones. I can't see anything going wrong with that...."

You mean... Berserkers?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berserker_%28Saberhagen%29

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What's Meg Whitman fussing over: The fate of HP ... or the font on a DISRUPTIVE new logo?

Captain DaFt
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This jiggled a memory cell...

I seem to recall reading an article way back in school days that claimed one of the signs of incompetence in management was focusing on trivial minutia, while ignoring their actual duties that they were too under qualified to perform.

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Easy ... easy ... Aw CRAP! SpaceX rocket ALMOST lands on ocean hoverbase

Captain DaFt
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Re: Which is it?

"Bored minds need to know..."

Well Wired has a nice diagram showing how it works here:

http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2014-06/14/isspresso

I was a bit surprised. I was expecting something similar to a 'siphon' pot (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vacuum_coffee_maker) since they don't need gravity to work, but it actually uses a pump to force the water through the system.

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Captain DaFt
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I think their biggest problem is that although they can control the stage's rate of descent, they have no control over how much or how fast the barge rides up and down on the waves.

So the barge either drops out from under the rocket at the wrong time, or rises up into it, skewing the relative rate of descent.

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Adobe, Level 3 drive a stake through heart of vid-stream creature before it attacks again

Captain DaFt
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The ultimate patent:

1. Get a US patent for this:

"A means by which Ideas may be registered and protected in commerce by law." (You know they'll just rubber stamp approve it.)

2. Sell patent to Patent Troll Company with big pockets and little sense. (That'd be almost any of them.) IE: PROFIT!!

3. Get popcorn and beer to consume while watching them take US Patent office to court for patent infringement.

4. Watch as US patent reform actually becomes a reality. (I wish!)

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HOT HOVERSHIP-ON-HOVERSHIP ACTION: SpaceX ready for barge boing

Captain DaFt
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Re: SpaceX is seriously cool

"Someone needs to commercialise velcro socks, footboards and headboards first"

Well, the habitat is inflatable, so it's like a zero-G bouncy castle, so just keep a grip on your partner(s), hump away, and enjoy the ride! (boingy boingy bonk)

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Fancy six months of security nirvana for free? Read on...

Captain DaFt
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Re: @1980s_coder A real OS.

"I would bet dollars to doughnuts that it would be easier for a partially sighted person to use UNIX with a braille terminal than any Windows OS."

Uh, think again:

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-16984742

Quote: "Fewer than 1% of the two million visually impaired people in the UK are users of Braille."

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/29882719/ns/us_news-life/t/fewer-blind-americans-learning-use-braille/

Quote:"Fewer than 10 percent of the 1.3 million legally blind people in the United States read Braille"

Simply put, Braille is hard to learn, hard to teach, very slow to use compared to normal reading, so few bother.

Plus, Braille books and equipment (like keyboards and readers) are freakin' expensive, when you can get them.

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Fancy a wristjob from Tim Cook? TOUGH LUCK, you CAN'T HAVE ONE

Captain DaFt
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"If a watch can't even last a whole day then what flipping use is it?"

So you can look at it to tell how many minutes of charge you have left on it.

See? It generates its own uses!

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NSA: 'Back doors are a bad idea, give us a FRONT door key'

Captain DaFt
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Re: Why bother?

"But then some agency (or perhaps the existing ones since they would know everything, everywhere that's going on) would have to take out the spammer's, miscreants, etc. no matter where in the world they are. Simples... After all, isn't these agencies goals "to keep us safe"?"

A chorus of Spooks: "But, but... Then we'd have to do our job and do real WOOOOORRRRK! {WAAAAHH!} Work is too hard!"

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Soil and sand harden as SPEEDING MISSILES and METEORS SLAM into GROUND – boffins

Captain DaFt
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Re: Research

"When I read about what people have to do to earn money in the field of physics, it makes me glad that so many of them are unemployed."

Yeah, because 'understanding' and 'learning' are such bogus concepts.

Back in the day it was all 'Spirits' and 'Gods' and that worked soooo much better for us, dinnit?

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Videogame publishers to fans: Oi, freetard! STOP RESURRECTING our dead titles online

Captain DaFt
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Cynicism mode engaged:

Big game companies Do not want you to play their games, they only want you to buy them.

After all, if you actually play their games, it incurs what they see as needless expense such as maintaining servers and support.

Plus, playing their old games means you're selfishly holding on to money that they see as rightfully theirs, since you should be buying new games, not playing old ones.

It's why I stick to independent game makers, they actually want people to play their games. They try to write games that are fun.

At least until they show up on the big companies' radar, and get bought out for obscene amounts of money.

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Twitter yanks firehose from DataSift, other resellers

Captain DaFt
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And the lesson is

Hitching your business strategy to another company's largesse will end badly when the other company sees bigger profits or opportunities without you.

Now DataSift's left with a front end and no back end, and doubtless, fun in court if they try to roll their own.

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US govt bans Intel from selling chips to China's supercomputer boffins

Captain DaFt
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Re: Excellent

Well done, sir or madam, you called it:

http://m.forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/2486427

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Microsoft Lumia 640, 640XL: They're NOT the same, mmmkay?

Captain DaFt
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Coat

"how on earth do you get a man in a hammock from the number 4?"

Yeah, it's obviously the end of a suspension bridge, so the pictogram actually reads: "Sperm travels to egg".

Sounds like someone got screwed!

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ICANN urges US, Canada: Help us stop the 'predatory' monster we created ... dot-sucks!

Captain DaFt
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Naughty, naughty, ICANN!

Creating a clusterfuck and expecting Governments to bail you out?

What? You thought you were a bank?

Obligatory Wondermark: http://wondermark.com/703/

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Captain DaFt
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Re: $185,000?

I'm in! Well... as long as I get the domain are.twats. :)

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Indian cops spice up protests with pepper spray-armed DRONES

Captain DaFt
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Or just go old, old school

Two words: Throwing Stick

Readily available, easily used, surprisingly damaging.

https://www.hedgehogleatherworks.com/Throwing-Sticks-For-Wilderness-Survival-s/83.htm

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Microsoft uses Windows Update to force Windows 10 ads onto older PCs

Captain DaFt
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"Once a week they should lock Satya Nadella in a small room for about 10 hours with a 150dB loudspeaker system that repeats "NOBODY WANTS THIS RUBBISH" again and again."

Nah, that'd be pointless.

Better to lock him in a room with a blank computer, Win 7 Install DVD, and AT&T internet connection, then not let him out until he had a fully updated Windows 8.1 installed.

But then, we'd probably never see him again.

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Gartner forecast dartboard falls off wall, lands in pile of crumpled dollars

Captain DaFt
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What?

"Gartner forecast dartboard falls off wall,"

How is that possible? I thought their trick was to throw the dart first, then draw a dartboard around where it stuck.

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ALIENS ARE COMING: Chief NASA boffin in shock warning

Captain DaFt
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Re: "Fingers crossed they’re the Spielberg ones"

"Hopefully the sub-title is referring to "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and "E.T.", not "War of the Worlds"."

There was a Speilberg 'War of the Worlds'?

Go on, pull the other one! Next you'll be claiming there was more than one 'Matrix' Movie!

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Captain DaFt
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Re: Predictions...

Given the timescale, they'll no doubt arrive in fusion powered flying cars.

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Google wants Marvin the Paranoid Android's personality in the cloud

Captain DaFt
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Re: Obvious response:

But the patent mentions 'Cloud'! It's this year's version of 'on a phone'.

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Drill, baby, drill: HIDDEN glaciers ON MARS hold 150bn cubic metres of precious frozen WATER

Captain DaFt
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Re: well..

"if life ever developed on Mars, and if anything survived the changes in the planet's ecosphere over the aeons, the most likely place to find it would be in that ice."

I think Valles Marineris would be a better bet for life if it exists/existed on Mars.

Formed as Mars cooled, the depth (up to 7Km), should yield a denser atmosphere, plus its alignment (East-West), depth*, and location (Equator), should presumably be warmer than at the surface altitudes.

No doubt it contains caves and overhangs which could harbor residual ice, and maybe even seasonally temporary pools of liquid water.

Unlikely, but we'll never know for certain until we look.

*Mars is too cold for a molten core, but it still retains some residual heat.

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Captain DaFt
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"Why? What sorts of minerals or contamination is in it?"

Well, if it's similar to the polar ice Phoenix explored, lots of nasty perchlorates.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_%28spacecraft%29#Surface_chemistry

It'd be a bit like guzzling pool chlorinator.

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Google open-sources Santa Claus

Captain DaFt
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Re: a fictional fatty?

"Say it ain't ture!!!!!!!!!!"

Calm down, but it isn't true, he's actually quite svelte:

http://harlanellison.com/review/beast.htm#Santa

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A MILLION Chrome users' data was sent to ONE dodgy IP address

Captain DaFt
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Re: you forgot to mention...

"That you have to design and build the CPU (and the rest of the device as well)"

And for those of you that want to get started on that:

http://www.evilmadscientist.com/2013/paperclip/

;)

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Iridium sat comms module comp goes completely TITSUP

Captain DaFt
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A couple:

FAN-BOI: Final Altitude Navigation - Bundled Operations Inspection

COFFEEBREAK: Can Our Fearless Flyer Ever Effectively Be Reckoned Excellently Approved Kit?

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You. FTC. Get over here. Google is INVADING our children's MINDS – anti-ad campaigners

Captain DaFt
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Major Shock!

Ad company starts children's service that's full of ads.

So... was anyone expecting something different?

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Stress me, test me, vex me ... boffins seek Hall Effect in frustrated magnets

Captain DaFt
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"Can somebody explain to me how this is supposed to work?"

Well, I am not a physicist, but my take on it as follows:

Picture the electrons as little spinning gears, for arguments sake.

In normal non-magnetic materials, the electrons aren't oriented, and their spins are all in different directions, like gears facing in all directions. The total magnetism is null.

In magnetic materials, the electrons are aligned, and their spins have the same orientation, like aligned, but unmeshed gears. Their 'torque' is aligned, giving rise to a total magnetic field.

In frustrated magnets, the gears are aligned, but 'meshed', so each electron's spin causes its neighbor to spin in the opposite direction. Total magnetic field is null, like normal non-magnetic materials, but aligned, like magnetic materials.

Apparently, the theory they're testing is that it's the alignment, and not the total magnetic field that generates the Hall Effect, at least that's my unschooled take on it.

Anyone have a better understanding?

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Captain DaFt
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Re: I don't know about quantum stuff, but I do know about frustration

"Some day physicists will discover the frustrino."

Should be easy enough. In theory, all you need to generate clouds of frustinos is to interact with anyone generating a stupidity field. (Unfortunately, a far from uncommon event.)

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Here we are now, entertain us: Caltech team designs micro, high-res 3D imager

Captain DaFt
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Re: diagnostics....

With a glass of water?

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Streaming tears of laughter as Jay-Z (Tidal) waves goodbye to $56m

Captain DaFt
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Re: Bank Holiday?

For it me, it was, "caped staircase acrobat", that had me guffawing. Shame they don't let you vote on articles anymore.

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Midlife crisis, suck ingenuity? Microsoft turns 40; does the dad dance

Captain DaFt
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Re: Vista wasn't that bad in retrospect.

Vista's biggest problem was the longevity of XP.

Up to and prior to XP, Microsoft's stance was:

Upgrading Windows? Then you needed upgrade your old computer, or get a new one, and be ready to get all new peripherals, 'cause the new Windows don't play nice with old stuff.

Then XP came and stayed, and stayed, and stayed.

Computer's got faster and more powerful, peripherals evolved ever more complexity, No problem, XP chugged right along. like it had for years.

Then Came Vista, with the same "obsolete everything" paradigm of old, but times had changed. People were used to everything working with Windows, no matter how old or new, and PCs were competing with phones and tablets that 'just worked' out of the box.

As further salt in the wound, In order to push Vista, Microsoft allowed retailers to slap it on 'Vista ready' systems that could barely run Vista, let alone any useful software with it.

That one-two punch killed Vista, and left a dazed Microsoft looking around and noticing for the first time that they no longer had everything their way.

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Al Franken to FBI: We need MORE revenge smut arrests

Captain DaFt
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Re: "walking sack of crap"

Who says they know they're being recorded?

Just search on your engine of choice for 'hidden video camera' or better yet, 'hidden video camera alarm clock'.

Heck, for that matter, how many people would pay attention to the laptop, touch pad, or smartphone just casually lying on the dresser with the rest of the stuff, 'recharging'?

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Dot-com intimidation forces Indiana to undo hated anti-gay law

Captain DaFt
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Da fuck? I pay a pound, I better get more potatoes than that!

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Captain DaFt
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"We are a Christian establishment. We're not discriminating against anyone, that's just our belief and anyone has the right to believe in anything."

"But, if they dare to think/believe differently than us, they can go to Hell!", eh?

Odd, I thought the Cristian Ethic was compassion and tolerance to all people, regardless of their beliefs. Apparently some churches think differently.

1 John 3:17 - But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

Hebrews 13:2 - Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

And finally (from me) The Golden Rule:

Matthew 7:12 - So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

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WIN a RockBLOCK Mk2 Iridium sat comms unit

Captain DaFt
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ATTA B-BOY!

Another Test Taken Aloft, Because Bureaucrats are Ornery Yutzes

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Microsoft drops Do Not Track default from Internet Explorer

Captain DaFt
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Yahoo sez:

"Privacy is not a one size fits all thing."

Of course, it's fine for users, lousy for ad businesses.

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Sony nabs cloud gamers OnLive, administers swift headshot

Captain DaFt
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Whee, games on the cloud!

I bought 'em, I paid for 'em, they're mine.

Company closes.

I bought 'em, I paid for 'em, I got nuthin'.

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Google cracks down on browser ad injectors after shocking study

Captain DaFt
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Re: Well of course...

"But Google is doing it in an *ethical* manner..."

April fools was yesterday.

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