54 posts • joined 11 Oct 2011
A feed of imaginary news about your imaginary friends. Splendid concept. Copyrighted by Farcebook I believe.....
"...in the realm of dangerous exploration" Hmm, this stinks of a Health and Safety directive.
When has the exploration of space been anything other than dangerous, the test flying of new aircraft would never happen if these same idiots were in control, "oo no, can't have that, someone might stub their toe".
I remember a trip to Kennedy Space Center and staring in awe at a shuttle sat on the pad ready to go. Awesome sight, and replacement will be years in the making, just like Concordes' successor. We seem to be going backwards in technological achievements, sigh
Farewell to a genius
Now that is very sad news to read, a figure more instrumental to the home computing era than any other. Certainly the most instrumental in my career in computing and hours playing various games at a much younger age on the wood-fronted VCS console.
Who can forget the frustration of waiting 10 minutes for a game to load from tape... only for it to fail to start correctly and repeating the process. An 800 and then an 800XL followed and the interest with computer tinkering was sparked.... causing me to save everything to get my first 'ST'. What a great system, and did I really spend that much money on a Mega-ST when it came out (almost 2K IIRC!). Splendid memories of using and "improving" each one of them!
I'm happy to say I still have an Atari corner in my computer room, a Mega-ST, TT and Falcon. A few games of DropZone are definitely on the cards tonight to celebrate the life of Jack Tramiel and for what he did for so many like minds individually. Sir, I salute you! Thanks for everything, you will be missed......
Hmm perhaps a new oxymoron being born "business sense".... it would seem that it is not, GAME OVER!
And in other shock news, Apple drops all its current raft of litigation against other companies. No wait......
Hopefully it will be an option in a menu to turn on rather than gibbering away insanely at every single press of the remote.....
Shame the marcel marceau overlay from late night/early morning stuff isn't an option. I find it quite mesmerising having some guy in the corner of the screen waving away furiously, no doubt telling the insomniacs amongst us to go back to bed! Would be nice to be optional for the minority, rather than compulsory for the majority!
Imagine the high-resolution touch screen cashpoints available to appletards, tissue dispenser next to it! Queues a mile long at the announcement of the Icashpoint 4.....
Before I pass judgement on this technological miscreant, might I be allowed a few hours to ponder the evidence for signs of air-brushing or photographic enhancement, of course... ahem
No problem, any time. Great people I'm sure they are but the reason you bought the fruity fondleslab in the first place just proves the point. "electronically challenged", how about "technology challenged"? Let them loose on anything more complicated than a simple device and you will soon be changing your tune!
Hmm, so they don't sell them to Tesco et al, who then make a faux pais over the pricing? I think most people realise that pre-sales and pre-orders bloat the real sales figures... all those apart from those fawning over these over-hyped slabs of fruity tech!
Apple sell to consumers, the common clay of the land, you know... morons!
This is just one big security nightmare waiting to happen (If it hasn't already).
Hmm, all these so-called experts putting forward ideas of using a Farcebook login for SSO purposes. Not that they have ever been faked...
Another security flaw to add to the pile of previous ones found in Farcebook.... step ladder anyone, I can't reach the top!
Back in the mists of time, Amazon made the same glaring mistake with the top-of-the-hill version of the iPaq (model number escapes me) and had them listed brand-new for a ridiculous price of £5.49 instead of most likely £549. I ordered two, completed the card transaction, got the order confirmation and headed for a coffee to celebrate my smug purchase....
Amazon, noticing their blunder, promptly cancelled the order hours later citing a "pricing error" and cheerfully informiing me if I would like to reorder the goods they would be more than happy for me to reorder them. Refund received days later. Rug and chair pulled from under me!
Bought, paid for but no an electronic leg to stand up. Pah! Not sighted an iPaq being used for years.... funnily enough
You can ask most people who desperately desire entry to the hip fruity fanclub, why they want an iPaad. Most of them can think of no actually reason.... the rest couldn't think at all.
Not to mention how much of an ar5e the owners look taking a photo with it. Say cheese for the tray!
Did the muffin come in a rectangular box?
Don't care what the resolution, ppi or feaures are, I for one will not be buying one.
Hmm with Samsung being adsorbed by Seagate and Hitachi vanishing into WD it is a two-horse race. Next move would be Seagate taking WD and it will be check-mate!
Which drive would sir like? A Seagate, or a Seagate.
"How long until the ambulance arrives?"
Siri: <beepity-beep> Sorry, you are not in a registered area for that service. Have a nice day!
Now, where's my tin foil hat ;-)
Silly old me, I thought there were only 52 states of America. I didn't realise it had been extended to include the entire planet...
HP buys Palm, HP makes pigs ear of selling product (Compaq and Alpha anyone?), HP dumps product at loss. Thankfully the printing and server products pay for all this corporate suicide...
Apple sifts thru webOS code, adds features to iOS and patents them as theirs. The circle is complete yawn
I'm so glad I just have a regular phone that makes calls and send texts and turn it off when I don't need it
Everything is tracked by the myriad of CCTV cameras festooned across the UK, the ANPR tracking of vehicles, every website visit and purchase tracked, google neating photographing everyones house for the sake of 3D maps, every phone call logged and now tracking of your personal mobile! FFS where will it all end?
George Orwells terrifying prediction has come true and then some.... As Hollywood seems keen on rehashing films for the hell of it right now, how about a remake of 'Brazil' ?
Scratch out one lorry load of foul tar of toast and one less caravan into the bargain! Huzzah!
$100bn for what exactly? Same bunch of sad twats that simply cannot live without their crackberry/ifone/handroid.....
Half a dinari for me life story.
Another attempt to float an internet gestapo ideology, failed last time too
Would these be the same US funded scientists who completely failed in their calculations to land a probe on Mars?
I think the author of the article has recently been watching "Minority Report" and made a gigantic leap between hollywood license and the reality of this device...
Can we have a coffee bean icon for the barista toting iPhone brigade?
I have seen such a dilemna occur on a US flight before, a very large passenger who was too big to fit in an aircraft seat had to be moved up a class just so their oversized frame could be seated......... best bit was when someone started beeping as they backed up to let the stewardess by.....
The lardasses should be made to pay extra for their flights! Either that or AA should buy a few Hercules transport planes
Steve Jobs an icon? Yeah, the one with a tombstone on it....
Ye gods, why did it not occur sooner to this poor wretch that her zeppelins-sized buttocks may not be entirely as she expected? She deserves a good kick up it although I would probably break my foot in the process!
What is known as a "Dairy Milk Arse"..... or an arse and a half !
Perfect! A mobile for calling up all those friends you have never met.... erm hello? prank caller
*poke*, giggle..... yawn
Crumbs good old Farcebook has shrunk the degrees of separation alright.... hands up all those with more friends they have never met than real people that visit them?
What a steaming pile of crap..........
It doesn't matter what resolution or how many ppi the display on the next one might/will have.... the fish on the screen will still look just as appetising to the cat, and you will look just as stupid as the cat does using it !
When Henry Ford met Steve
"Any phone you like so long as its cack!"
Apple, just fuck off... take your shiny bauble gadgets, idiotic patents and army of legislators and fuck right off !
An own goal by Apple, let's not forget who started the whole patent war misery.... ah yes, our fruity friends themselves....
All this arguing over who invented what UI gesture or feature does nothing to improve things for the end user, they should just get on with making better phones without all this corporate lawyer playground bickering!
Skynet is becoming self-aware . . . .
The other half of sales, or is it people? Hard to see real figures there.
Anyway same as npo4 I am quite happy with a Sony Ericsson normal phone, calls and texts suit me fine. Smartphone that needs changing every day or other day doesn't seem that smart....
Quite a lot of those phones won't be using more than the basic features so figures largely void.
Can't read this, do do do do
Any failed hard drive of mine gets treated to a rendition of MC Hammer out on the patio. MC Lump Hammer that is.....
"Does it really matter?" - JL
And after briefly dipping his toe in the waters of reason, the man with no brain happily returned to frolic on insanity beach....
Toolbars - rubbish software used by tools. Avoid
I do wonder why every single time people mention the invasion of privacy by tracking every single movement on the web or using the inprivate browsing somehow means we must all be visiting p0rn websites?
Do we really need to have our purchases and movements known to all websites? No is the answer and bravo the folk who write the excellent addons and extensions to block this insidious work to track browsing sessions. <applause>
Farcebook by another name
Another article on the security, or apparent lack of it, on the social website linked to a book.
It must be a very thin line between real friends and those on FB, you know... people you see at school or work, "I shared a bus trip with you don't you remember?". Why not distinguish between friends and people I vaguely know by granting appropriate security to them rather than some totally lame system which resets to open access each time those allegedly in charge tinker with it?
PaedoBook was probably the funniest rename of it I heard.... although FarceBook seems wholely appropriate!
TV license nowadays makes as much sense as the outdated cash cow of a "road fund" license. £145 for the privilege of watching dullard "programmes" such as DeadEnders and its endless cycle of repeats, yawn. Get some adverts on there and some decent stuff rather than tired old rubbish we didn't want to watch the first time round! Pah!
Fail. A colossal fail.
I believe many a weekend foray into town is accompanied by a cry of "Let's shoot some beaver!"...
Bravo, I say... before quickly grabbing my coat. Its the one with a copy of razzle in the pocket
Apple doth suck the bag royally
Oh FFS, another prime example of Apple being a bunch of tw@ts. This sort of corporate stupidity knows now bounds within their offices and is another prime example of why lots of people hate the company attitude and detest their products so much.
To reuse an often quoted text - "The world was a better place when Apple and BlackBerry were just fruits!". Also a lot fewer riots.... ahem.
How can you seriously patent a UI gesture is patently ridiculous! ;-)
I have a gesture for Apple (as yet unpatented) which involves extending the two fingers next to your thumb in a swift upward motion... perhaps a f*ck off screen?
We need a patent alert icon for this sort of crap........
I think the K&R bible on the C language is by far my most read and referenced book (even more so than the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy!). A true legend and genius of the computer world. RIP
He did so much more than Pope Jobs I and his collection of strokable, shiny bauble devices, zzz although we know who will be idolised more in the sycophantic media . . .
- Put down that Oracle database patch: It could cost $23,000 per CPU
- DAYS from end of life as we know it: Boffins tell of solar storm near-miss
- The END of the FONDLESLAB KINGS? Apple and Samsung have reason to FEAR
- Pics It's Google HQ - the British one: Reg man snaps covert shots INSIDE London offices
- Bose decides today IS F*** With Dre Day: Beats sued in patent spat