* Posts by Unicornpiss

414 posts • joined 7 Oct 2011

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Apple's mystery auto project siphoning staff from other divisions

Unicornpiss
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Meh

Re: Where are they going to drive?

Based on the iPhone 6, it will also have a bent frame in a low-speed collision and the windshield will crack if a bug hits it.

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Who wants a classic ThinkPad with whizzy new hardware? Lenovo would just love to know

Unicornpiss
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I would buy one in a heartbeat!

And do my best to irritate all the wankers with their new Surface tablets. Add a touch screen and watch the one thing the surface does well fade into utter irrelevancy.

For the person who asked what the point of the "Thinklight" was, simple: Not only does it light up the keyboard, but any paperwork you have with you, a keyfob token, etc. A light-up keyboard is somewhat useless except for finding all the fancy keys whose positions you don't remember (and to look "hi-tech"), but your hands are blocking the majority of the keyboard most of the time. And for that matter, what's stopping you from having both on one machine? Build the penultimate laptop and they will come.

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Microsoft's magic hurts: Nadella signals 'tough choices' on the way

Unicornpiss
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Meh

Old rant...

If MS wants to innovate, instead of cute animations and a gimmicky UI in most of their products, they can make their software more stable and stop using their paid customers as beta testers. Each version of Office that comes out is a marvel of features and integration, but it's also flakier and flakier than the last. As someone that has to support this stuff I can say that 30-40% of the problems our department deals with is related to Office products malfunctioning. And unfortunately the solution is often a full reinstall because no one can find the root cause or one tiny registry entry that went awry when Office decided to immolate itself. A web search shows that I'm not nearly alone in this, which isn't much comfort.

And listen to your customers for Pete's sake! (whoever Pete is) Stop changing the UI to something worse and worse in every version of Windows! Maybe XP didn't boast the avant garde of user interfaces, but I never heard anyone complain about the cascading menus. At least offer the option to revert to a "classic" interface for those that miss it without needing a 3rd party add-on. (to be fair, it does look like they've listened somewhat in Win 10) One of my myriad pet peeves about Win 8 is the changing of the keyboard shortcuts. Alt+F4 to close a window and F5 to refresh a screen have existed since the dawn of time in Windows and other OSes. Why change it??

Okay, I'm done.

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This whopping 16-bit computer processor is being built by hand, transistor by transistor

Unicornpiss
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6502 fan...

Looking at his website, this article doesn't do justice to the scope of the project. Am I correct in my deduction that he is using "zero page" memory as another set of registers for results, very "6502-like"?

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Unicornpiss
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Pint

Several things...

--That is an amazing undertaking, and a smart guy to build a processor from scratch.

--He obviously has a lot more free time and ambition than I have.

--Troubleshooting shouldn't be that bad as long as he has a diagram. He obviously understands the principles of operation, so he would just need to put a scope on the correct test point and make sure signals are present. The behavior will tip you off as to what's wrong. Many years ago when I took electronics, we had a donated DEC PDP 11/70. Our instructor would sabotage it, and armed with blueprints and a scope, we'd have to find the faulty component or failed wiring.

--Looking at the MIPs on the processor comparison, it's obvious the MOS6502 was the greatest bang for the buck in its day. Half the transistors and clock speed and still as fast as its competitors.

That is all :)

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Microsoft: Here's what you'll cough up for Windows 10 next year

Unicornpiss
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Meh

Value added services..

"They are angling to get their money from value added services, rather than the base OS itself."

So, speaking as a home user, I'm just pondering what service MS could offer me that would 'add value' that I'd pay for. I might pay a subscription fee if MS finally learned to not have apps steal focus from each other. Or nag me with "Do you trust this printer?" and similar. Or fix the troubleshooter that currently comes up with the correct solution every 1 in 300 or so attempts. Having used Office 365 extensively, I'll tell you, that isn't it. Though SharePoint could be quite remarkable if it wasn't so damn quirky. Of course these are more Enterprise features, and Enterprise users still have to pay for their upgrades if I'm understanding this correctly.

I've used Windows since 3.1 and am grateful to MS for my bread and butter in the IT world, but can't honestly think of a single thing I'd subscribe to or purchase as a home user, especially since it would likely come with ads of some sort even after purchasing.

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Ubuntu daddy Mark Shuttleworth loses fight to cancel $20m bank fee

Unicornpiss
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Meh

I guess I'd be pretty mad...

...If I was swindled out of 20M. Of course I don't have 20M, and to him it is probably the same financial hit as if one of us didn't get our order at the drive through. I'll bet his lawyers are pleased at the extra work and windfall for them though.

Like someone else mentioned, he probably has a lot of accountants on his staff--no one warned him about this? It's also kind of funny when someone complains that something is unconstitutional in a country that they're leaving and not intending to dwell in again...

The very rich are not like you or I. I do have respect for Mr. Shuttleworth overall though.

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Pwned so many times - but saved by the incident response plan

Unicornpiss
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Applause

Thank you for a heartfelt article that I can utterly relate to. There may not be another field in the world so much as IT where if you don't actively keep up, it will run you over and leave you squinting at the mud-caked license plate of the bus that hit you.

Many of us are so overworked and stressed anyway that things we'd all like to accomplish like an artisan putting the finishing touches on a Stradivarius, instead we end up doing like a coked-up plumber frantically patching leaks and plunging stopped up toilets. (I have many times described my job as similar to one of those entertainers that manage to keep a number of plates spinning on sticks by running frantically back and forth) There is never enough time for continuing education and researching problems.

IT is so often treated like the proverbial red-headed bastard stepchild. Even though most modern businesses cannot exist or at least thrive without a competent IT staff, IT often gets the least staffing, the worst budgets, and the least regard from business leaders. Yet when something major does go wrong, there's plenty of blame to go around. Most of us wouldn't build a building without a solid foundation, yet IT is allocated sandstone to work with.

There is probably no other field except Medicine where there is such a diverse array of specialized jobs, yet often we are expected to be Swiss Army knives where skills are concerned. And frequently we have to guard against attacks from outside, from within, and occasionally from management.

I'm sure we will all be Pwned at some point. (if we haven't already and just don't realize it) I think I started out with a point to make, but it's been a long day of madness and I'll just wrap up by saying thank you again for an excellent article that hits most of us where we live.

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Cortana threatens to blow away ESC key

Unicornpiss
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Meh

Essential

For many tasks, not the least of which is when hitting ctrl+alt+del to login and finding the login dialog completely unresponsive to everything else on Win 7. Besides, what will I use now to end my MAME emulation session and return to the game menu?

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The Martian: Matt Damon sciences the sh*t out of the red planet

Unicornpiss
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Pint

Liked the book...

Looking forward to the movie.

It will be a pleasure to watch a "sci-fi" that's actually based on science and not "non-stop action!" and overwrought contrived emotion.

Guess we'll see what was done with it. I'm sure it won't be for everyone.

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How much info did hackers steal on US spies? Try all of it

Unicornpiss
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Black Helicopters

That's what they want you to think?

China actually hacked a database with made up information on hundreds of "people." All part of the plan...

Seriously though, this breach is utterly appalling and should never have been allowed to happen. Since we can't police China effectively, maybe it's time for some trade sanctions?

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Scientists love MacBooks (true) – but what about you?

Unicornpiss
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Haha

Macs "just work"? Clearly you haven't ever had to support Apple devices. True, they may have SLIGHTLY less issues than Windows devices, but they are a LOT worse to deal with when they do fail.

If you want to use Linux, just install (totally free!) Linux on whatever remotely compatible device you want to! I am into Mint these days as distros go, but pick your poison and save a few bucks on hardware. (Apple does build beautiful hardware, but after 10+ years of trying to coax machines to behave, there is no mystique for me.)

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Microsoft to Linux users: Explain yourself

Unicornpiss
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Meh

Well jeez..

This sounds like something that the Open Source community could whip up for free, if there isn't something out there already. And it will likely work better and have metrics that MS never thought of.

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Gonna RUB MYSELF against the WALL: Microsoft's Surface Hub 84" monster-slab

Unicornpiss
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Meh

Or I could...

..simply buy a large TV, add a touchscreen encoder (or just do without), and use an Android device that plugs into the HDMI slot, whether a tablet or a Chromecast-sized stand alone device. Or get a short-throw projector that turns any whiteboard into a touchscreen for about $1,800 (or less)

I just can't see the point of spending that much for something that will be obsolete in 3-4 years and offers so little value for the money. (and for that matter, the Surface tablets are not the most stable devices I'm finding--all part of MS's strategy of releasing consumer products before they're really ready.

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Les unsporting gits! French spies BUGGED Concorde passengers

Unicornpiss
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Happy

Simple to check?

Isn't one of the Concordes in a museum? Should be fairly easy to allow someone to check for traces of bugging paraphernalia. Surely there will be some wiring left over at least...

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BOFH: Step into my office. Now take a deep breath

Unicornpiss
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Pint

You had me at...

"Norwegian potato language" --classic!

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Sysadmins rebel over GUI-free install for Windows Server 2016

Unicornpiss
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Joke

Compensating?

Perhaps it's like the CAFE car gas mileage standards in the US. Automakers include electric and econobox cars that no one wants in their fleets to offset the poor mileage of other vehicles so it averages out.

Perhaps Microsoft is compensating for the horridly overwrought and mostly useless GUI in Windows 8 by launching an OS with no GUI. True, there is no mandate to do so and there would be no purpose for this, but trying to understand the logic of any large corporation is like trying to analyze the plot of 1941, probably the quintessential coked-up 80s movie.

I need to take my meds now.

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ASUS reveals 'Zensational' style-over-substance kit

Unicornpiss
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Meh

The ASUS motherboard

..in my main PC is styled just fine for me.

(I'm happy with my Android ASUS tablet the way it is too)

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Chap mines Bitcoin with PUNCH CARDS and ancient mainframe

Unicornpiss
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Meh

If..

If you could make sure the machine was reliable and place it in some sort of field where time passes millions of times faster, it would be feasible. Of course there would be better choices for your computing machine in this case...

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You stupid BRICK! PCs running Avast AV can't handle Windows fixes

Unicornpiss
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Pint

I have no idea why this topic was revived...

But for anyone looking for a lightweight, free AV solution for Windows, I've been using "Ad-Aware" AV on Win 7 for some time now. It is free, does not nag you, doesn't seem to consume a lot of resources, and as far as I know is effective. I have not encountered an actual virus 'in the wild' to test it with, but it's gotten good reviews and it seems to respond to the Eicar test string, so I at least know it's functioning.

It's all the goodness that Avast used to be before losing their way, selling out, and losing sight of the true mission.

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Factory reset memory wipe FAILS in 500 MEELLION Android mobes

Unicornpiss
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Re: Simple solution

You could use the Blendtec (TM) data scrambler. Works on all smart (and not so smart) phones, hard drives, CDs, etc.

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Viagra makes it HARD for malaria, bug-boffins discover

Unicornpiss
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Joke

So...

A guy walks into a pharmacy and complains that he has difficulty maintaining an erection. The pharmacist asks: "Have you tried Viagra?" The man replies, "No, can you get it over the counter?" The pharmacist says, "If I take 3 I can."

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Unicornpiss
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Meh

I feel I should make some comment...

..about "mosquito dick", but I have no idea how to fit it in :)

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Well YES, Silicon Valley VCs do think you're a CRETIN

Unicornpiss
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Happy

Silly question...

Does the company that makes these toasters accept Bitcoin as a form of payment? Just asking...

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Unicornpiss
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Boffin

Better uses..

For the amount of return you're going to get, you'd be better off scrounging for change in your sofa. Instead of using a distributed computing network of toasters, fridges, dildos, whatever, to find meager amounts of cash for someone else, how about using them for "Fold at Home", "SETI", or whatever other research projects make sense if you're going to waste the electricity?

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FTC to scavengers: Radio Shack corpse doesn't include customer data

Unicornpiss
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Unhappy

I'll miss Radio Shack

It's kind of the end of an era. RS was one of the last stores that had a smorgasbord of electronics, computers, discrete components, hobby items, etc. Being the geek that I am, I used to go in there as a kid and wish I had money to buy half the store. Also, one of my first computing experiences was playing games for hours on the demo TRS-80 model I while the sympathetic store manager looked on. I had one of their "150 in one" electronics project kits as a kid and that helped shape me into the nerd I am today as well.

It seems like Radio Shack was trying to fill a niche that didn't really exist after 1990 or so. The world passed them by while they blinked. They were trying to be a jack of all trades I guess. Unfortunately the serious electronics hobbyists would only stop in for last minute things as the selection and pricing was better elsewhere. Only the very unsavvy would buy overpriced rebranded electronics gear and batteries there, and the "You've got questions, we've got answers" staff was unfortunately often clueless and untrained... except on how to upsell you a cell phone contract. But they never were 'hard sell' and they were either too small of a target or didn't survive long enough in our current age for a customer data breach to occur. Apparently anyway.

Let us all mourn the slow death of a gentle giant. Raise your glasses to the now defunct "Archer", "Realistic", "Microntis", and "Tandy" brands, and place your free battery club card on the casket as you leave.

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Microsoft's Surface 3 is sweet – but I wouldn't tickle my nads with it

Unicornpiss
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Meh

Pros and cons

I have one of these at work for 'evaluation' and we are beginning to deploy some of these. So to make this brief:

Pros:

-Seems pretty rugged

-Beautiful screen

-Good performance

-Responsive touchscreen

-Good battery life

-Very well designed magnetic mating for cover/keyboard

Cons:

-The damn thing is glued together so good luck if you need to pull or upgrade the drive. Memory is soldered in.

-windows 8.1's schizophrenic UI

-Only one USB port on the unit?? And one that seems to only let you charge on the adapter. Deal breaker for IT use.

-Pizza-box keyboard and touchpad

-Some folks may have had luck using this on their lap, but I find it too wobbly and annoying.

I realize it's meant for light and casual use, but it won't be replacing my laptop anytime soon.

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That DRM support in Firefox you never asked for? It's here

Unicornpiss
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Flame

How is 4K any different?

At each point in history when a new technology was introduced for viewing media, people were already using the "cutting edge" available at the time. Ever since the open-reel and VHS tape days, people have been copying media and taping TV shows. This did not end civilization as we know it and I don't recall any studio or publisher going out of business due to John Q. Public sharing a movie or making a mix tape.

True, in these days of streaming everything, it's a lot easier to distribute pirated copies. But instead of hobbling the average person and discouraging fair use, how about just finding better ways of prosecuting those that abuse the privilege? I prefer to read on Kindle these days, but it pisses me off that I can't share a book at all in some cases, and in others I can't share it more than once in X amount of time. Which is fine if the person I share it with hurries up and reads it before it expires, but that doesn't always happen. Yet I can loan as many paperbacks as I wish forever. Sure, I could loan them my entire device to read it, but that's a bit impractical. There's got to be a better way.

When it comes down to it, soon enough 4K will be broken. It is always the way that the major criminals will be able to quickly get around any protection in place. It just screws the average consumer, as it's always done. A perfect example would be the original DVD standard with encryption. Remember how you couldn't play an encrypted DVD on Linux or in a different region, but still it was pathetically easy to copy the whole disk and sell it if so desired? I applaud the authors that shun DRM and distribute their work with no rights management in place.

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Unicornpiss
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I think I can speak for the majority when I say:

Bleaugh!!

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Californians get first chance to be RUN OVER by a GOOGLE ROBOT

Unicornpiss
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Happy

I have a simple prediction for the public reaction...

People with 1/3 or more of a brain will downshift and pass these vehicles, probably at high speeds. Some of the more dickly, frustrated subset of the driving population may actively screw with these robot cars out of boredom like the asshats that take a ball bat to mailboxes on a drunken evening.

Really most folks will react just the same as fleeing from a wildcard 90-year-old driver or teen driver glued to their phone that you just can't anticipate what they will do or if they are in full possession of their sensorium. Hopefully Google has tested for this scenario and the cars won't stop, veer, or BSOD when someone "taps" them or blows by them at 120MPH.

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Astroboffins perplexed by QUADRUPLE QUASAR CLUSTER find

Unicornpiss
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Alien

Perhaps...

Perhaps a truly advanced race was just doing a bit of landscaping?

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Hacker 3D prints device that can crack a combo lock in 30 seconds

Unicornpiss
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Flame

@Bolt cutters

You're utterly missing the point. This was a fun experiment, and labor born of love and chutzpah, which is how computing and other fields have advanced by leaps and bounds over the years by hackers doing it for the sheer joy of it. I can open my car with a hammer too, forgo the twist tie and just rip the plastic on my loaf of bread, and get into all manner of spaces I'm not supposed to with brutality and no finesse, but anyone can do these things.

This guy's device can open a lock in under a minute and leave it intact, and tell you the combination so the lock can be reused. The practical applications (unless you count impressing his friends) are practically nil, but again, this isn't the point at all. It's more inspiration than a better mousetrap.

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Unicornpiss
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Happy

The ability to open these is old news

I even have a spreadsheet somewhere that helps you with calculating the possible combinations after you find the first number and based on the lock's behavior. I have opened a few Master combination locks over the years that were left unattended attached to fences, in people's junk drawers, and ones in my personal possession using just the spreadsheet and some tinkering. Typically it takes me under 5 minutes to obtain the combination. (I have never stolen anything or opened a lock used to lock up anyone's personal property, though I sometimes used to find some amusement in flipping the locks that my school faculty had facing backwards so they could use the little keyhole on the back on 'storage' lockers :P )

Basically a cheap lock like this is more a deterrent. Most thieves are not very sophisticated or all that bright and are only interested in "smash and grab". And my own lock at home is reasonable, but not excessive, as it's pointless to put a fancy lock on a house that has more than a dozen glass windows that anyone can open with their lucky brick.

I do think this is a very cool device though, very creative, and tuning it to get the tension just right on the lock's shackle must have been a real chore.

Not everyone knows that you can open a Master combo and other combo locks with a "left hand" combination too. This might be fun if you need to write down a combination to remember it--anyone using a combination lock is used to turning it right-left-right, not left-right-left:

https://woodgears.ca/combolock/left.html

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BOFH: Getting to the brown, nutty heart of the water cooler matter

Unicornpiss
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Pint

Thank you for improving what is turning into a very aggravating day.

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What to do when the users are watching Nazi dwarf smut at work?

Unicornpiss
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Meh

Same old same old...

I worked a job about 12 years ago working on POS equipment. (both point-of-sale and the other accepted definition for that acronym)

My counterpart that took care of the network in the corporate office noticed a lot of requests being made to all manner of porn sites. The logging in place was primitive and only showed what was going on with the gateway, not which PC was making the requests. She tried in vain to catch the culprit in the act, but the porn fest was happening at all hours of the day, not just lunchtime or early or late. Eventually, she figured out that our CEO was sitting in his private office surfing porn all day. It must be nice to have that much free time at work. I never asked whether she confronted our fearless leader, but the company went into bankruptcy about 4 years later, by which point I was long gone.

Re. disgusting keyboards, I once walked up to a user's desk just in time to see him do two open-mouthed violent sneezes all over his desk, monitor, and keyboard. He hadn't seen me, so I quietly backed away and called him instead saying: "I'm waiting on a call, do you mind if I remote in to work on your PC?" We had another user that had a skin condition and his keyboard was inundated with flakes of dead skin that would fall like volcanic ash if you turned over the keyboard. It's also always nice to realize the person in the bathroom stall is surfing on their company iPhone as well. Really, working in IT can be worse for germ exposure than working in a daycare.

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Why don't you rent your electronic wireless doorlock, asks man selling doorlocks

Unicornpiss
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Meh

I'm a Luddite...

...when it comes to locks. I like the simple satisfaction of turning a key. And this applies to cars too. True, I can't look at my phone and tell that the house is locked, but I also don't have to change batteries, worry about the vendor's cloud site being hacked, and still carry a spare key in case it stops working. And I LIKE keys. It might be handy if I have a ton of groceries to carry in and I can just unlock the door before I leave my car, but it's not that big a deal. Where this might be handy is in large commercial facilities where instead of re-coring locks whenever someone leaves, you can simply manage access from software and instantly see the state of the entire building. THAT, I think would be the 'killer app' for this, not residential.

I do have a WiFi-connected thermostat and I love it. (it's not a "Nest") It's great to be able to see what the temp is inside my home and bump it up or down if I'm going to be home early, late, etc. It's also a little bit of peace of mind if you're away in the winter to know pipes aren't going to freeze because you can hopefully see a malfunction before it turns into a real disaster.

For the person that mentioned: "Would love to understand how it interacts with a modulating (variable output) gas boiler. Exercise for the student..." --I have a standard gas boiler and the answer is not very well at all. My old 'smart' thermostat's anticipation feature was very confused. It would not account very well for situations where the system had been off long enough for everything to cool down vs. days where it runs near constantly and the radiators stay hot. Maybe with enough sensors it could. I would just set the heat to come on a bit early and adjust a bit for really cold days.

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Word to your mother: Office 2016 preview flung at world + dog

Unicornpiss
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Meh

I really want to like this...

There are two peeves I have with Office 365. (and really everything from Office 2007 on up) One is the bazillion options on the ribbon interface, some not where you'd expect them to be. Maybe a 'simplified' UI can be toggled on and off, such as the way a lot of copiers do?

The other peeve is speed and reliability. While each increasing version of Office has more impressive document recovery features built in for when something goes wrong, it's annoying how often they must be used. When you combine the bloat of Office with Microsoft's cloud services, I'm very afraid for the future. Since my company migrated to SharePoint and inked the deal in blood with MS for cloud services, I can't tell you how many times mail, SharePoint, etc. has been offline, slow, or just a general pain the butt. Maybe Lotus wasn't as shiny or feature-packed (let the flames begin), but when we had our mail servers in house, we never had a failure of the magnitude that we currently experience about once a month. I guess such is the cloud, eh?

Also, with each Office release, the number of users that have Excel (especially) just 'hang' for no explicable reason increases. Since everything in MS's world has its hooks into each other, this typically means Windows Explorer stops responding and users freak out when they can't click their desktop icons or do anything until Task Manager is invoked to whack the errant app or it eventually begins responding again. The classic error "Something went wrong." is nice too, as are errors to the effect of 'your system is low on resources' when only email, one spreadsheet, and maybe a couple of other apps are open on a machine with 8GB of RAM. Then begins the hunt for what may be causing Office to throw tantrums. Defunct network drives or printers? Nope. (Why must Office apparently verify all of these at startup anyway, even when they're not being used?) Third party software (that works normally), nope. All updates installed... looks like it. Oh wait, check Office too since it eschews Windows Updates and has its own mechanism now.

There are a lot of gorgeous features and abilities in Office and SharePoint. I just wish the damn things worked more consistently. To quote Douglas Adams: "It is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all"

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Why should I learn by ORAL tradition? Where's the DOCUMENTATION?

Unicornpiss
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Meh

Like a mechanic without a driver's license...

There are many apps where I work that I know how to fix when they break... but don't ask me to coherently use them, as the only training I've had on them is poking around with them trying to either get them to break or to ensure that I've actually fixed them. Sometimes the user has to be present to perform whatever procedure made it misbehave, as I have no idea how to use the application. This is common.

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Tesla reveals Powerwall battery packs for homes, Powerpacks for cities

Unicornpiss
Bronze badge
Meh

This technology has its place

People that already have alternative energy generation available, such as solar, wind, small hydro, etc. will find this a real boon. It's got to be better than lead-acid and other existing battery technologies in current use for night and off-peak generation times. People living where commercial and residential power is billed at flexible rates depending on the time of day could also set up a timing system where the unit charges during hours of the day where rates are lower and gives you juice when power is most expensive. They also could be useful if you live where power is pretty unreliable, I'm sure.

But I do not expect you will see these in every home anytime soon. I live in an area where commercial power is very reliable overall, and while I own my home, there are too many trees to make solar practical. (also, I just don't use that much power) Plus, a large percentage of the populace everywhere rents their digs.

Maybe if this was licensed to Apple, whose marketing department seems to have an uncanny knack for convincing people to buy things they only have a marginal use for.

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Apple to devs: Watch out, don't make the Watch into a, well, a watch

Unicornpiss
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Flame

For fuck's sake...

You bought the device. (for a hefty premium too) You should be able to install pretty much what you want on it, as long as it's been vetted for malware and basic quality (eg. it doesn't crash all the time), and if the software sucks, change it or live with it. No clock apps for your iPhone/Watch, eh? Say what you will about Android, but at least you can do what the hell you want with your device, which is what drives evolution and innovation--finding uses you never knew you needed. If I buy an Apple TV device, will it eventually have software to filter out all appearances of Roku, Kindle Fire, etc. in media content?

I understand that it would be stupid to mention a competitor’s products in a good light if you're trying to make money off your own. But it's still a silly strategy that fools no one (God, I hope), any more than watching a TV show where they've cunningly blocked out the manufacturer emblem on a car, but anyone who's not an idiot can still see it's a Ford or whatever.

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Unicornpiss
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Coat

Re: Well, well, well, well...

"You could display a coffinated Jobs slowly rotating in microgravity and cunningly deduce the time-of-day based on the position of his outstretched arms."

---No you couldn't, he's by now spinning way too fast in his grave to make a reliable timepiece.

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Range Rover Sport: Like a cathedral on wheels, only with comfier pews

Unicornpiss
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If I was looking for an SUV...

I'd rather just buy a new Jeep, a good used sports car, and still have enough money left to pay off a good chunk of my mortgage without touching the Rover's price. And still get better reliability and as good of off-road ability out of the Jeep. (but I'm not rich enough to be able to aspire to that degree of impracticality)

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The Apple Watch: THROBBING STRAP-ON with a knurled knob

Unicornpiss
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Meh

@"Live a better day"

Ugh. I met a beautiful girl with a tattoo of "Find quality in life", which I really liked and that was a much more profound slogan than the sappy "Live a better day", which sounds like a poorly translated Bond movie title. Unfortunately, she decided I wasn't high enough quality for her. But I still liked the tattoo.

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Unicornpiss
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The obvious for me...

..is that I won't buy any smart watch or "watch device" that you have to recharge every frickin' day. A watch is for convenience. Remembering to recharge my watch is not convenient. Even a windup watch you have to wind every day is more convenient than this.

Maybe once battery life reaches a week between charges, or charging options are more convenient, such as inductive charging while you wear it but without giving you cancer or waking up soft boiled, but nah, probably not even then.

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Who was downloading smut in the office while eating ice cream?

Unicornpiss
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Paris Hilton

Similar experiences..

In 2002 I worked a job supporting POS equipment. (both point-of-sale and the other accepted definition for this acronym are true) My counterpart that worked in the corporate office taking care of the meager network there kept finding many, many connections in the log files to multiple porn sites, including some really sick stuff. Since this had not come up before, she didn't have any sort of logging in place to determine who the culprit was other than general logs as to what the internet gateway was being used for. So she embarked on a campaign to try and catch the person in the act, but couldn't find anyone doing anything they shouldn't be. (yes, there are better ways) She was further stumped by the fact that the porn sites were being accessed at random times throughout the day, not just at lunchtime, after hours, etc. Finally, she managed to finger the culprit. (no pun intended) It turned out to be none other than our CEO and part owner, who apparently had nothing better to do with his day than randomly surf porn in his private office.

I never did find out if she confronted our CEO, but she did manage to block further transgressions by the simple method of remotely editing the hosts file on his machine to point all of his favorite sites to 127.0.0.1. Incidentally, the company filed for bankruptcy and was broken up about 10 years ago

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Disk drive shipment numbers set to spin down

Unicornpiss
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FAIL

Re: Don't forget the third reason...

Actually, the drives have one and three year warranties. But the thing of it is, assuming I could warranty every mechanical drive that failed and get a free replacement, I just don't want them. Why would I want another mechanical drive that's just going to fail me in a year or two (and probably sooner, as you typically get a "refurbished" drive on warranty claims), inconvenience both the user and our department, and cost my company productivity and possibly even reputation if a user's laptop is acting up when working with a business partner?

If we have an SSD fail, we will warranty it and get a replacement. (and we have 5 and 10-year warranties on them) But all the mechanical drives can just rot in hell as far as I'm concerned. I'm done with the pathetic fragility, unreliability, and slowness of them. (and I agree with the poster that mentioned that drives used to be better some years ago) I will no more buy another mechanical drive for a laptop or desktop machine than I will stop using digital media and put my music on 8-track tapes. Let them be a monument to the folly of using an obsolete technology to store data.

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Unicornpiss
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Meh

@DropBear

Yes, they can bury the heaps of mechanical drives next to the boatload of E.T. cartridges that Atari consigned to legend 30 years ago. The only difference is no one will ever want to dig them up again. Though if you ever did, you could probably find them from the anomalous magnetic field in the area caused by thousands of neodymium magnets.

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Unicornpiss
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Alert

Don't forget the third reason...

SSDs rarely fail, unlike spinning rust. At least 40% of the crop of spinning rust we bought a couple of years ago at our company (mostly WD black label laptop drives) have given up the ghost already and/or have been questionable enough to replace with SSDs. We have bought mostly Crucial SSDs, and have had zero failures on the upgrades.

So the built-in obsolescence you get with mechanical drives, and the need to replace them due to attrition also dries up.

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What's broken in this week's Windows 10 build? Try the Start Menu, for one

Unicornpiss
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Company bloat/inertia?

I am a certified professional that owes their employment to MS being less than perfect with their products. But I still wonder how it is that free OSes like Mint, Ubuntu, etc. manage to get so many things right that Microsoft struggles with. Oh, I'm not saying that the Mint OS that I'm using at the moment is perfect. Everything has problems. But nothing steals focus on this OS, it isn't constantly wasting resources trying to index everything, I don't get absurd warnings like "Do you trust this printer?", and I'm not constantly nagged to tweak this, disable that, "your computer could perform better", etc.

Perhaps I'm asking a rhetorical question here, but this is a FREE operating system that gets most everything right, including not rearranging my icons when it feels like it in dual monitor mode, nor the asinine "pin to taskbar" method of creating links. Which I wouldn't be so unhappy with if they'd just stay put and not randomly arrange themselves on a whim. How about updates? My Linux OS tells me updates are available, I click to install, things happen for a couple of minutes, and we're done. Never a reboot unless the kernel is being updated. With MS, updating is a cross your appendages and pray affair--Wait for updates to install, see what failed, reboot, endure "Preparing to configure Windows" (always good to be prepared I guess), possibly reboot again. How is it that an OS with man-years of development behind it, and for which we will pay hundreds of dollars (or thousands in subscriptions) manages to be so flaky/buggy/irritating?

How many times has my Linux OS crashed in the last year, even when gaming with it and doing other things that stress it? Not once, not counting having to restart the window manager a few times after doing something stupid. How many times has my Surface Pro at work crashed while just 'idling'? Every 3 days or so, with the latest drivers available from MS, and the Surface is their in-house effort. And let's not get started with Office and SharePoint. Brilliant concepts, but a lot of debugging yet to do.

Maybe it takes a village to write an OS and not a dictatorship where no one communicates with anyone else.

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Fed-up Colorado man takes 9mm PISTOL to vexing Dell PC

Unicornpiss
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Meh

HP "Kayak"

We had an HP Kayak PC at work running a piece of lab equipment. Shooting was too good for it and pissing on it would have been a waste of a good piss.

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