* Posts by Steve Wehrle

35 posts • joined 15 Jun 2007

Tories put toes on Linux bandwagon

Steve Wehrle
Happy

Missing the obvious?

Having a good idea of the requirements before they start these billion-pound projects would be a good start. Too many government projects start with "we'll employ a team of external consultants to work out the requirements, and another team of external consultants to answer the first team's questions".

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Microsoft releases Vista virtualization

Steve Wehrle
Thumb Down

Drivers?

The main problem I have with Vista is that a lot of equipment I have, which worked fine with XP, doesn't work under Vista because Vista drivers aren't available. I can't see how running XP in a VM on Vista is going to make my experience of Vista any more pleasurable.

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Big Blue to ship RDX removable drives

Steve Wehrle
Happy

Excellent Construction Material

According to Wikipedia, RDX "burns rather than explodes and detonates only with a detonator, being unaffected even by small arms fire"

So if you want a hard drive that can hand a 9mm slug, this is just what you need.

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They used 'em, you reeled: the year's most overused phrases

Steve Wehrle

"The Cloud"

I'm sure the term "the cloud" was invented by non-techies who envisage all IT as a rather large grey fog-like cloud where you put stuff in at one end and get stuff out the other end. How it all works, they don't know.

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Formula One kinetic energy recovery rigs debut

Steve Wehrle
Go

Yes Please !

According to a F1 website : "the regulations limit the power of the KERS systems to 60kw (around 80 horsepower) and the storage capacity of the energy is 400kJ (kilojoules) per lap. What in effect this means is an extra 80 horsepower available for 6.7s per lap."

Give me the option of a button which provides an extra 80 bhp and I'll take it any day.

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Beeb reprieves Xmas Top of the Pops

Steve Wehrle

A BBC Love-fest ?

With the BBC bringing out a single of Aled Jones and Terry Wogan singing "Little Drummer Boy" in December, it'll be the icing on BBC's (Xmas) cake if they get Number 1.

A good reason not to watch.

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UK health records should not be flogged off

Steve Wehrle

It might be worth it

Why not? I'd pay good money to see the medical records of G Brown, D Cameron, their families and their colleagues in the House of Commons. As, I'm sure, would the tabloid press.

What do you mean "their records won't available for security reasons"?

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Sarko demands withdrawal of voodoo doll

Steve Wehrle

Re : Where is my George W Bush Doll?

They couldn't find a piece of wood thick enough

Coat, please

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'U-turn' West: MI5 watching 'great' terror plot right now

Steve Wehrle
Coat

We'd like to make the details public ...

but they were on a USB key which was given to EDS for safe-keeping, and nobody's seen it since.

Mine's the one with the portable drive in the pocket

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PM Brown dusts off one interweb per child plan (again)

Steve Wehrle
Thumb Down

Coincidence ?

On the day that Google announce their own version of the iPhone, which for just over £100 seems to be "the quickest way to access the internet", old Mumbles decides that kids should rather have laptops costing £700 each.

Why not save £600 each, Gordon, and give them a Google-phone instead?

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VMware co-founder quits for academia

Steve Wehrle
Coat

Mendel Rosenblum is gone ..

but his VMWare image lives on...

Couldn't they even get a Snapshot ?

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Road Pricing 2.0 is two years away

Steve Wehrle

School Run Solution ?

I always wondered why there isn't a system of school buses in this country, where parents drop off their kids at a bus stop and the kids are ferried to the school gates en mass. If you put the bus stops in shopping centres' car parks it makes it easier for the parents to park their cars while waiting, without clogging up the roads outside the schools.

And you don't need a wonderful magnet to block PAYD signals ; thick tin foil will do the trick just as well.

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IBM solves world's 'paper or plastic' crisis

Steve Wehrle
Happy

Good idea for pubs

This is a good idea for pubs across the country ; no more having to shout your order across the crowded bar, just flash your card and they'll know what you're having. The card could even be pre-programmed with your "limit" so they wouldn't be able to serve you when you've had too much.

Mind you, I went to a pub the other day for a pub meal and was asked if I wanted "cashback" when I paid with a card. I won't be returning there in a hurry!

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Seagate first with 1.5TB hard drives

Steve Wehrle
Happy

As it's a Friday

What's 1.5 Tb in 3.5 inch floppies?

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Angry? Try the Tw*t-O-Tron

Steve Wehrle
Happy

Nice to know ...

that George Bush is getting in the swing of things for his new job....

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Top-end Fords will be watching your rear

Steve Wehrle
Happy

Is it me?

or is it the case that people who choose big cars "because they're safer" are generally the ones who drive so badly that they shouldn't be on the road in the first place?

Take Volvo drivers and indicators, as an example. If you ever see a Volvo indicating (which is rare enough), you can almost guarantee that the driver will be turning the opposite way to that indicated.

Waiting for the first person to go mad from the blinking lights when stuck in a 2-hour traffic jam.

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T5 opening turns into Airplane 3.0

Steve Wehrle
Coat

@Slaine

I always liked MBA = Mediocre But Arrogant

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Virgin lags in scumjumbo race, bins airliner drag-start plans

Steve Wehrle

@Anonymous

Good point. Unfortunately, not all aircraft are jet-powered. The egg-beaters that shuttle between Southampton and Dublin (among other places) have ruddy great fans in front of the wings.

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Jedi to open Surrey academy

Steve Wehrle
Thumb Up

Yoda with a Welsh Accent?

"lovely there is, boyo"

To be honest, I can find nothing wrong with this. Good luck to them.

@Fraser : "BTW it IS only a film..." : yes, but the Bible and Koran are just books. Both written when they still believed the world was flat.

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Calls to ban hoodie-busting sonic weapon

Steve Wehrle
Unhappy

@Mage

"It's assault. No different to shouting at or slapping every young person that comes in."

Cool ; does that mean that when I get shouted at by the groups of yoiks who congregate around my local shop, I can take them to court for assault?

Oh, sorry, I forgot. My local police station is only open 9-5 (weekdays only), so there's no chance of getting them arrested.

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Scottish government drafts Cat Welfare Code

Steve Wehrle
Happy

@ AC - Hadrians Wall

The wall *is* going to have cat-flaps in it, isn't it?

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Big Brother firm tech exec locked up in UAE

Steve Wehrle
Happy

Forged Documents

If I were a Middle-Eastern immigration official, I suppose I'd be a bit suspicious about someone who has ID documents with the name "Cat". That's just got to be the worst attempt at forging documents on the planet!

Or maybe the charge would be "associating with Jade Goody"? Worth a 10-year stretch in any sensible legal establishment.

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Hamster-in-rain emergency prompts 999 call

Steve Wehrle
Happy

May I suggest outsourcing ..

Why don't the police enlist the help of some non-PC people, so that useless time-wasters can be put through to someone who will inform them in no uncertain terms what complete f*cktards they are, and to get a life?

You could almost do a check-list for the caller : Name? Address? Age? Phone Number? Were you born this stupid or did you have to take lessons? ...

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IT problems force HMRC to extend tax deadline

Steve Wehrle
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@David Roberts

Because there would be no network traffic for the first 6 days of February, and the system would crash again on the 7th. D'oh!

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Accenture and BAE pull out of ID card project

Steve Wehrle
Thumb Down

Cost to Shops ?

So each and every establishment which sells alcohol and tobacco will be forced to install ID card readers which will have to be used to determine if the person buying the goods has the same biometric characteristics as the person on the ID card?

1) who's paying for all these thousands of machines, which will all have to be put in place when the first card is issued?

2) who's providing the training for all the thousands of shop staff (including part-time students)?

3) how are cigarette vending machines going to cope?

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Oz crematorium menaced by exploding dog

Steve Wehrle
Happy

You could make up a comedy sketch

... involving a deep frozen dog and a Chinese restaurant with a number of unexpected customers ....

but I won't

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Commuters shouting into their mobiles? Just jam 'em

Steve Wehrle
Happy

There are other alternatives....

Ladies : if the person next to you is annoying you with their mobile phone conversation, just say rather loudly "Come back to bed, darling".

Gents : the words "Come on, it's your round" will probably have the same effect.

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Writers' strike hits US talk shows hard

Steve Wehrle
Happy

"Dancing" Judges

So if the judges on "Dancing With The Stars" didn't have a script, did they make up their own scores or were they briefed beforehand about who was going to be sent home?

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Irish man rescued after falling for 419 scam

Steve Wehrle
Happy

Response to ransom demand ?

Top o' the morning to you all.

Regarding the £100,000 ransom demanded. Please find enclosed a cheque for £200,000. If you could put the change into my bank account (number xxxxxxxxxxx) I would be most grateful.

Thanks

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Gang attempted to pass £500,000 notes, court told

Steve Wehrle
Happy

Bank Conversation

Hello, english-type person. I wish to have change for this £500,000 note.

Yes sir, would you like 5 £100,000 notes or 2 £250,000 ones?

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Plan for 20mph urban speed-cam zones touted

Steve Wehrle

A couple of points

1. If i have to drive at 20 mph, I'm going to be looking at the speedometer all the time instead of the road.

2. Why can't we have "average speed" on motorways, starting from when you join the motorway and ending when you leave it? For every 5 minutes spent at 10 mph in a jam, you can do 5 minutes at over 120 mph!

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US teacher fired for non-literal bible reading

Steve Wehrle

Could have been worse

At least he didn't say Jehovah.

Oops!

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Top judge: put everyone in UK on the DNA database

Steve Wehrle

Some Exceptions?

This is very interesting, especially (as Private Eye reported 2 months ago) since neither Tony Blair or Lord Levy had their DNA sampled for the database when they were "arrested" with regard to the "cash for honours" enquiry.

And has the honourable judge insisted on adding his DNA to the database? I think we should be told...

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'al-Qaeda' puts on big shoes, red nose, takes custard pie

Steve Wehrle

So much for "Big Brother"

After all the rubbish put about by the "big brother is watching you" brigade, it turns out that police had to scan CCTV footage from cameras around London, to find which way the cars came into town.

And the media still haven't told us whether the drivers of the cars committed the ultimate crime : not paying the London Congestion Charge!

Be alert ; the country needs Lerts!

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Police will share data across Europe

Steve Wehrle

Difficult for the UK

I'm intrigued by the fact that we're going to share data with the Europeans, when most of our county-based police forces can't share data between themselves at the moment. They all seem to have their own little databases, in different formats, so if the Europeans want data they're going to have to ask each Constabulary individually.

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