2081 posts • joined 4 Oct 2011
Never mix tech with sex
The Engineers Song.
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
An engineer told me before he died,
And I have no reason to believe that he lied,
(Chorus) That no matter whatever he tried,
His girlfriend was never satisfied!
(Chorus) That girl she had a .... so wide
She could never be satisfied,
(Chorus) The engineer was a designer,
Measured the bore of her v......,
(Chorus) Then he built her a .... of steel,
Powered by a bloody great wheel,
(Chorus) Yes he built a bloody great wheel,
Two brass balls and a .... of steel
(Chorus) Two balls of brass were filled with cream,
And the whole bloody lot was driven by steam.
(Chorus) He tied his girl to the leg of the bed,
Tied her hands above her head,
(Chorus) There she lay demanding a ....,
He shook her hand and wished her luck,
(Chorus) Round and round went the bloody great wheel,
In and out went the .... of steel,
(Chorus) Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream.
(Chorus) Till at last the maiden cried,
"Enough! Enough! I am satisfied!"
(Chorus) Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it,
(Chorus) It went like the piston of a train,
He should have fitted a gearing chain,
(Chorus) Clouds of steam blew out the top,
There wasn't a way to make it stop,
(Chorus) She was split from ... to ...,
And the whole .... thing was covered in ....,
(Chorus) It jumped off her, it jumped on him,
And then it buggered their next of kin,
(Chorus) It jumped on a departing bus,
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss,
(Chorus) The last time, Sir, that .... was seen,
Was in Buckingham Palace .... the Queen,
(Chorus) There's a moral to the story I tell,
If you see it coming better run like hell,
(Chorus) Nine months later a child was born,
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn,
(Chorus) The warning in the story is,
Always fit a safety switch,
(Chorus) The crux of the matter is plain to be seen,
You should never trust a MACHINE!
Close enough to barbecue the prawns and sausages but not close enough to warm the beer.
"Earlier on today, apparently, a woman rang the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way; well, if you're watching, don't worry, there isn't, but having said that, actually, the weather will become very windy, but most of the strong winds, incidentally, will be down over Spain and across into France."
Nothing has changed has it?
Re: 15 million more androids @Phoenix50
@Eadon is mistaken, there are only 291 in circulation.
Is there nothing they will do to get publicity?
Will be a great disappointment to the many gun happy Americans who would consider owning the best weapon in the Galaxy a right to bear arms.
This is Business Asian Style......
Eh- Sexy Lady, Oppa is business style
Eh- Sexy Lady oh oh oh oh
Less than 20 minutes to cook rice.
If you need it quicker buy the ready made stuff.
People have opinions, it's not a crime.
There are so many people who spout nonsense and talk crap that we have to or end up having listened to it in our daily lives. Usually we just roll our eyes and move on.
Publish crap and nonsense on Twitter someone gets offended and then jumps up on to the bandwagon and wants to punish, jail or make an example of the fool.
In real life you'd put your argument against the crap, tell the person they are a prat, move on and have nothing more to do with them. That's the way to deal with it.
Having an opinion is not a crime however idiotic misguided or stupid or offensive your opinion is.
2020AD our future
New legislation: section 20/23/1847/329-234/ AW
The Government has declared that the population will be micro chipped, DNA sampled and tattoo'd with an identification number.
This is being implemented to protect your freedoms and your rights and to protect the population against as yet unknown threats and dissent. You do not have the right to appeal. You have nothing to fear from your Government if you have nothing to hide.
Failure to comply will result in you being declared a non-citizen entitled to no state facilities.
You cooperation is appreciated.
Harbinger of Doom
The Iranians should take note in 2014 America will have withdrawn its troops from Afganistan.......
Either keep a low profile and make friends
Develop a nuclear arsenal
Or annoy the Demi God USA and expect swift regime change
The choice as they say, is with you.
Article posted at 1.30am and by 9.30am no nasty troll or comments?
What the hell is going on?
Re: Winning the battle...
You cannot be everything to everybody, there is always some compromise in a product.
Light portable, long battery life, work station, power user, desktop, handbag size....
No one product will take over.
Not very patriotic is he...
The McCarthy Era
The McCarthy Era Witch Hunts all over again.
God Bless America!
Danger of damage
My mum used to throw the board and contents on the board at my dad, usually when she found him helping himself to the pile of money like a banker.
She refused to play after one such episode where my Gran was giving my dad unauthorised loans to keep him in the game. It is so much more tactile when you can throw objects at other players.....
I miss those days..
But if it were my iPad/Tablet flying through the air I might not see the funny side.
Lets be honest
It's like buying into a reasonably good condition classic car, but it won't have seatbelts, heated screens, central locking, fuel injection, alloy wheels, MP3 player, air con etc
What you get is a piece of history in all it's idiosyncratic glory.
Talking through their backsides again.
Letting smaller firms have a slice of the action?
It never ever happens, it's always the bigger suppliers who get the whole cake and make a mess of it, usually because a Polititian or two have a part time job and sit on the board as an advisor. How many times do we hear of politicians retiring or losing their seat only to become directors of the companies they favoured while in power.
Politicians are bent, this is pure sound bite media.
Re: Bulimics have been doing this for years....
Yes but this machine will prevent the stomach acids from ruining their teeth.
No no no
A stomach contents sucking up machine!
Though I do see a market for it in Celebrity circles........
Soon there will be Celebs signing themselves into the Betty Ford Clinic for their addiction to the thing.
Where the average pay in these emerging markets would be classed as slave labour anywhere else in the developed world unless the product is being sold for peanuts, less that £20 say, it is doubtful that they will sell at all.
In fact I think £20 to the average Bangladeshi, Indian, Peruvian, Angolan, Anfgani, Mongolian,Malian etc etc etc will make the phone out of reach for most. They would have limited sales for those with better paid jobs in the emerging market because the phone would be competing with other brands.
Great, the protest will really have an effect on the Authorities, I'm sure they will change their minds once they feel the power of the protest.
They appear to be amateurs at it, such little profit for so much work.
Opportunistic fleecing by a record company, I bet Dylan only gets pennies from it anyway. As to the 'new material' there is usually a reason why it was never included in the original albums.
Usually the artist thought it was crap and didn't want to publish it.
'New material' albums are a record company scam to fleece the idiots who don't see it for what it is.
Google will tow the line, it is after all one of the biggest markets in the world and Google is after all, ALL about money.
As nutty as a nut cake on nut tablets......
As paranoid as a paranoid thing on paranoid tablets....
What! you mean it's all TRUE!
Apparently according to the news broadcast they found a significant number of additional surface tablets that were unclaimed by staff but linked by serial number to a theft from a Microsoft Store two weeks ago. Police speculate they were left behind by the burglars.
Shatners ashes will probably go into space.....
They are so fed up with all the patent shenanigans that they want to find a way out.
The length of the sentence depends on the strength of the lobby group and how much it is prepared to donate to political causes.
What a clever ruse to get people to join Facebook.....
I am confused,
Will this be based on the average weight of
African Elephants or Indian Elephants
Male or Female
Fractions in Baby Elephants (Indian or African)
Or can some one come up with a conversion formula?
But one persons Truth is another persons Lie
The grey area in between is for lawyers.
Ban all online reviews
Problem solved, but how will I then get my trolling fix?
An article by an Arsenal fan should be taken with a pinch do salt.
How much did they donate to Obama's presidential campaign?
Re: Extraterrestrial H20
If we know this why have they sent that rover out there?
@I ain't Spartacus
There's a lot of money in the Kim Jong bank account though.
Say it as it is..
He's a DIC* HEAD
Pot calling the kettle black
Could work depending on the cost, but that's why many people don't bother with printing out photos and just watch them on the TV or in a photo frame.
Still photo albums can be handed down and are nicely tactile and I have a wife who insists on the prints.
A ten mile journey will now take 50 miles to complete while the Sat Nav takes you round all the advertised businesses before you can get to your destination with all the associated risks of distraction while driving.
Street view will be like watching telly while driving, explain that one to the police as you go into the back of the car in front. Not to mention the data charges you may have.
Street view, soon to be banned while the vehicle is in motion.
Who cares that they lost case.............
This may lead to a three way patent squabble rather than the two way one we see today.
I look forward to the controversy it will raise!
How many are actually real people.
I see that St Helena appears with over 12,000 users but with a population of only 4000 adults and no Internet connection to the island I have a suspicion all is not what it should be?
A map app that offers incentives...
I need that like a hole in the head.
Sell it to Facebook, wait a year and watch how the new Facebook Map App will bombard you with ads
"Turn left and then stop off at Asda for a ready cooked chicken"
"Now turn right, on you left before the second left call into KFC for a healthy meal"
"Your destination won't be for another 120 miles, before you get there let us make a another suggestion...."
They are in the clear, the algorithms they use are so complex and convoluted that they baffled the investigators, most of whom were turned down for jobs by Google for not being clever enough.
It would be cheaper to film what goes on in Leeds town centre in the early hours. It would give a new insight to projectile vomiting.
The rights within a contract should be balanced. It should not give one party extraordinary rights over the other to the detriment of that party.
For far too long companies love to put clauses into their contracts which pretty much mean 'we can do anything we want to to, and if we amend you're contract, however detrimental it might be to you, you shall have no rights to complain or get out of the contract'.
Now Please Sign Here To Agree.
It's never been challenged properly in a court, maybe it's time to draw the line. However there are too many interest groups, politicians and money going into back pockets paid by big business that it is unlikely anything will ever be done about it.
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