* Posts by LarsG

2109 posts • joined 4 Oct 2011

Google Nest slurps your life into the Matrix? The TRUTH

LarsG

My car

Parks itself, tells me if I am about to hit another vehicle, applies the brakes if I don't, calls the emergency services when I crash........

So WHY is it so difficult to produce a Kettle that turns on the tap and fills itself and then makes the best cup of tea in the world, a toaster that visits the bread bin, picks up a couple of slices and toasts it to perfection because the artificial intelligence knows how I like it, a knife that spreads butter and then marmite without leaving crumbs or butter behind.

Finally a plate that washes itself.

Is this too much to ask?

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Hate phone games that make you buy in-app gumble? Congrats, you're a niche player

LarsG

Re: As a niche device owner....

Well put.

If it has 'In-App' purchases I ignore them.

The worst offenders are devs that allow you play the games but when you get to a certain level it is impossible to progress fairly without buying something extra especially when they target children's games.

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Happy Birthday Tetris: It's flipping 30

LarsG

Re: After-effects

I spent an entire flight to Sydney playing it on a Nintendo thingy, then spent the entire flight back dreaming about it.

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Brit lands on Rockall with survival podule, starts record attempt

LarsG

Raising money for Help the Hero's is reason enough.

Now that he is on it, in 60 days he will have to get off it.

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Tech talk bloke compares girlfriend to irritating Java tool – did he deserve flames?

LarsG

Re: My wife liked it @Mr C

Yeah but I'm jealous!

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LarsG

Re: My wife liked it @Mr C

Your wife must be really easy to please!

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LarsG

He definitely has a girlfriend because his analogy is spot on.

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The Strippers, Unicorn Computers and Martian Watches of Computex

LarsG

Are the 'showgirls' outside the cave for sale?

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Game of Thrones scribe George R R Martin will KILL YOU for US$20K

LarsG

If you name was John Smith there'd be a lot of people claiming the accolade that the character was named after them. It would only be useful if you had an 'unusual name'.

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Android is a BURNING 'hellstew' of malware, cackles Apple's Cook

LarsG

It's the silly season again

Here we go again....

Trying to put your point across to an Android user is like trying to negotiate with a teenage Kevin.

They think they know it all but in fact know very little.

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Samsung in a TIZZY: OH PLEASE make apps for our Tizen Z mobe

LarsG

Late

So late to the table that the washing up has been done, the plates put away and the scraps are inside the dog.

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OK, execs. You want Apple kit. And Windows Phone, too? Really?

LarsG

'Samsung however would no doubt argue that the security fears are unfounded as the company’s Knox containerisation solution has just been given clearance for use by British government workers.'

Really? Who took the bung?

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YOSEMITE GLAM: Apple unveils gussied up OS X

LarsG

Devices are aware of what you are doing?

Sounds like an NSA backdoor

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Kardashian's bottom plumps down on Instagram throne

LarsG

Yet again more contrived rubbish.

More worrying is the number of people who even bothered to like the photographs. There has got to be better things to do.

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SCIENCE explains why you LOVE the smell of BACON

LarsG

Re: Yank my chain

Americans grow and produce their food to fit into their mouths.

Invariably the food or produce tends to be larger.

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The British are coming! The British are coming! And they're buying Surface fondleslabs

LarsG

There's one..

I actually saw someone with one today. I nudged the person to my left and nodded in the direction of the slab. The owner of said slab noticed, looked furtive and then covered it up with a newspaper.

Maybe he though we would rob him, maybe he was embarrassed, we will never know.

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iDevice gizmo-snatcher Oleg... you must be taking the Pliss

LarsG

So this wasn't, as the hysterical Daily Mail reported, a virus.............

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Facebook wants MORE EXPLICIT SHARING

LarsG

Information Overload

After a while your sub-conscience just ignores it, a bit like ads on the web.

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Could a 'Zunewatch' be Microsoft's next hardware foray?

LarsG

'Nobody is buying the Samsung watches, because, well, why would you really?'

Samsung claim they are selling... Or is that shipped?

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LarsG

I'm sure it will be hugely successful......

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WORLD HISTORY in SELFIES: So AMAZEBALLS your EYES will EXPLODE

LarsG

Contrived rubbish...

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Valve says no Steam Machines until 2015, fingers crossed

LarsG

The Controller?

Pull the other one, they have obviously come across a fundamental insurmountable problem in that they can't stuff anymore buttons on to it to give it keyboard functionality that the basic keyboard and a mouse has when playing PC Games.

I expect it will finally arrive with a fully fledged keyboard and mouse, they are just having trouble with the universal knee attachment to keep it in place when you sit on the sofa. As to the mouse, a simple mouse pad with universal armrest attachment is also on the cards.

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Google's driverless car: It'll just block our roads. It's the WORST

LarsG

Re: Platooooooon - HALT!

Might work in a city but out here never.

Another GOOD reason not to move.

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James Bond producers sign on for Edward Snowden movie

LarsG

WHY?

Why make a film about it when we all know the story, the continuing story I should say.

Wouldn't it be better to make the film when it is finally reported in he press that he has died in mysterious circumstances, block of ice lands on his head, falls out of the door of an aeroplane, drowns drinking a vodka martini, electrocuted by his mobile phone, accidentally blows himself up while locked in the boot of a car, eaten by a crocodile, commits suicide with a pair of chopsticks....Etc.

Then at least we can speculate on which conspiracy theory is correct?

It would make for a better film don't you think?

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Birmingham's Computer Bookshops Ltd goes titsup

LarsG

Re: A sad day

The only winner here will be Grant Thornton and the fees they charge.

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Mozilla axes HATED Firefox-ad-tab plan ... but will try again

LarsG

Dictionary Definition

"Ads in Tabs"

To shoot oneself in the foot.

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Amazon granted patent for taking photos against a white background – seriously

LarsG

Re: Prior art??

I claim patents on the colours of the rainbow and all the shades in between.

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China 'in discussions' about high-speed rail lines to London, Germany – and the US

LarsG

Re: Not Adventurous Enough

An elevator to the moon would be more feasible.

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LarsG

It would take 7 years to build the China bit, 10 years to build the Russian bit, 9 years for the Polish bit, 8 years for the German bit, 12 years, including 2 hour lunch breaks, for the French bit and then 100 years for the English bit.

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US officials vote to allow Bitcoin for political donations

LarsG

If you can't beat them.... Tax them.

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Oh aye, a mobe grumble-flick player? No – it's a 'droid ransomware nasty

LarsG

"so it could be argued the malware mostly preys on the foolish using basic social-engineering trickery."

Pretty much accounts for 98% of the users. They do after all have an Android phone as well.

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Microsoft hints at smaller Surface

LarsG

Re: Look at the up-side

They can rename it 'The Surface Cuboid'

It will probably be as wide as it is fat.

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Tablet boom quiets down a bit as growth slows

LarsG

Re: Any surprise?

Correct, I have the first retina screen iPad, why do I need to buy something new!

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Shocking 'new iPhone' is also - BZZZZT!! - a Taser-like stun gun

LarsG

It is patented though!

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Google Glass teardown puts rock-bottom price on hardware

LarsG

Exploitation

Exploitation learned from Apple perhaps?

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What HAS BEEN SEEN? OMG it's a thing that looks like an iWatch

LarsG

Re: Bloody hell.

This is just sleight of hand and mis-direction, while everyone focuses on this they are moving something in by the backdoor....

They release something like this just to garner interest and advertising.

They have patented 'deception'

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Twitter investors squawk as user growth, income disappoint again

LarsG

Re: When you think about it...

It is so much hassle to think of something so inane, uninteresting and downright boring to publish to the rest of the population in the hope that you'd find some empty headed yokel that might accidentally follow you and be interested in what you have to say.

The bottom line is that no one cares what you have to say, it's all about self interest.

It's easier to not tweet than to tweet. I prefer the simplicity of silence.

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Brit IT workers are so stressed that 'TWO-THIRDS' want to quit

LarsG

Re: @msknight

Up voted for being honest.... With all that overtime you earn you'll be able to book a great holiday while signed off on the sick.... through stress.

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LarsG

@msknight

I can hear a symphony of violins playing in the background....

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LarsG

Because most of them are worried their jobs may be outsourced, threats of redundancy and that they are being asked to do more with less and for longer.

They do not have a monopoly on stress, pretty much everyone is in the same boat.

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China's customs cops grab 76 MEEELLION tech products

LarsG

Yes and the bribes allow ten times what is 'found' and seized to continue their journey.

This announcement is just window dressing.

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Trolls and victims watch Supremes for definition of meaningless patents

LarsG

It can be black or white or any colour, it will be multi shaped with wires that may or may not run through, around, over or past it. It is multi-functional and may or may not have attachments. It also has many purposes yet to be defined.

Patent number 2947654/235/23-89164.

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Bankers don't just blow cash on bonuses, they also spaff ££££s on IT

LarsG

It says everything there is to say about banks.

As it was paid with money stolen from their customers I suppose they didn't really care how it was spent just so long as they could off set it against tax...

What do you mean they hardly paid tax themselves, just used customers money instead.

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Samsung Galaxy S5 owners hit by fatal camera error problem

LarsG

Re: 'Camera Failure' pop-up error message

Ouch.

Your probably correct when you talk about Apple patenting the pop up, not surprising really when you consider that Samsung likes to follow the leader.

Fingerprint reader anyone...

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Vladimir Putin says internet is a 'CIA project'

LarsG

Re: Doesn't matter who "invented" it

Yes it does, he was British.......... our Tim

Then the US stole it and took it over. Americans like to re-write history usually by using script writers making films.

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Oz Ombudsman calls for wiretap oversight

LarsG

Why not let the US have oversight, like they do across the world.

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Cross-border kids used as Easter iPhone MULES in China

LarsG

Re: There was twice as many Samsung phones but the headline mentions only iPhones?

4x iPhones, 4x iPads, 8x Galaxy's.

This equates to '5 cases'?

Not exactly a Master Criminal more an opportunistic individual budding businessman.

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WTF happened to Pac-Man?

LarsG

Re: Pacmania

I'm sure I played it on a large coffee table kind of console at the local pub.... Unless it was the beer clouding my memories?

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Samsung files patent for ear-mounted Google Glass competitor

LarsG

If it's as good as their watch it will be crap.

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Ex-Tony Blair adviser is new top boss at UK spy-hive GCHQ

LarsG

Old Boys Network

If I remember correctly Kim Philby got his job on the say so of one of the top security Knobs because 'he knew his people'.

It just goes to show how ingrained this kind of thing is and how so many of the top jobs go to those in 'favour' 'friends' 'advisors' etc

They try and tell you this kind of thing doesn't happen but increasingly in the upper echelons this is being promoted. Jobs for the Boys, old school tie, friend of the family, mates....

To top it all they are trying to select Tony Blairs son to stand for a Labour safe seat in the next election.

Nepotism at its worst especially when you consider Kinnocks son has also got into the act.

They are all at it, establishment established practices.

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