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* Posts by LarsG

2015 posts • joined 4 Oct 2011

Bloke blasts Sprint for fingering his home as phone thieves' den

LarsG
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Re: Attention all fanbois

Hs anyone checked under his bed?

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Another Apple retail chief crashes out the door

LarsG
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Company

Spring Clean

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Amazon rainforest starts making phone calls

LarsG
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And how many trees are there in the Amazon?

And how much does one of these things cost?

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Social networks give Australia a throat to choke

LarsG
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If

If you put yourself out there, express opinions and make statements to the world you have to expect the consequences and if someone disagrees with you well, that's life I'm afraid.

I'd suggest schools give a lesson on social media and consequences.

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Empire says ‘primitive’ Earth not ready for Death Star

LarsG
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When

When some weird tentacled thing turns up and demands humans hand themselves over to be eaten we will wish we'd built a Death Star.

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Microsoft to give free TV ad to top-voted Windows Phone 8 app

LarsG
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Top Rated

The musical fart app sponsors Coronation Street..

Voters could have some fun on this one.

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Security audit finds dev OUTSOURCED his JOB to China to goof off at work

LarsG
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Applauded

For initiative.

But it just shows how cheap it is to outsource, if he can outsource his job and still pay the rent.

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Korean boffins crack art of bendy batteries

LarsG
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Useful

A bendy phone with vibrate accessory would have many many uses.

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China shoves Beidou intro tractors, trucks and buses

LarsG
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I'm sure it will work both ways, so they can monitor movement of the population.

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NASA snaps pics of China's 'Airpocalypse' pollution disaster

LarsG
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So much for the Kyoto Agreement on reducing pollution. In the UK we bend over backwards, increasing our costs, being taxed for so called green energy that has absolutely no effect worldwide.

The rest of the world sticks two fingers up at us.

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Live blog: Facebook's 'screw you' to Google revealed at last

LarsG
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So

THE PRODUCT IS REALLY YOU!

Yes YOU are the product.

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UK falls behind in global graphene patent race

LarsG
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Probably stole the research by hacking the computers of what were the leaders in the field.

Pesky Chinese hackers.

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Mysterious Facebook product plumps up shares on Wall Street

LarsG
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Watch

Watch the drop when they realise what the product is.

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Latest Java patch is not enough, warns US gov: Axe plugins NOW

LarsG
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The end of Java?

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RIM adds 15,000 new BlackBerry 10 apps in one weekend

LarsG
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Re: 15,000 what kind?

Fart Apps but with different tones, loudness and duration.

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Satnav blunder sends Belgian granny 1,450km to Croatia

LarsG
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There are many stupid people in the world.

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Hyperspeed travel looks wrong: Leicester students

LarsG
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Did someone

Did someone actually explain to these students that Star Wars is a film and that artistic licence has been used?

Why haven't they been working on something more important?

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Siri, will Chrome's new speech features kill you?

LarsG
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Strange

But Siri is the least used program on my iPhone since I asked what the latest Championship League tables were and it gave me the biography of Adolf Hitler.

These voice enables are a pure gimmick with very limited appeal.

Also when in company you look a pr*ck talking at your phone or computer, then getting angry because it just doesn't understand you.

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DoJ to Kim Dotcom: We never asked you to retain files

LarsG
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Re: US Authorities

The D of J have spent the last year deleting all the evidence of their communications with Dot Com prior to them stealing his servers.

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China's Android users warned of giant botnet

LarsG
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Not more malware on Android phones!

Got to be a Daily Mail news flash, or a troll by a fanbois.

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Titsup Windows Phone 8 orders user to cram 'boot disc' in mobe

LarsG
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The next

The next lot of mobile phones circa 2013, will have even bigger screens so there will be an opportunity to install a disc drive in them. Problem solved.

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Hooking offshore wind farms into UK grid will HIKE bills, MPs warn

LarsG
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Re: destruction

It when they got planning permission to stick them into the Irish Sea in an area the size of Devon and Cornwall that it all went mad. The maintainance costs appear to be outweighing the production of electricity.

Also the generators themselves, stuck out in the 'calm' Irish Sea have a lifespan of only 10 years.

A financial time bomb, in the short term the firms installing them make lots of money.

In the long term the Government ie taxpayer will have to pay to put it right.

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Zuck on that! Instagram loses HALF its hipsters in a month

LarsG
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They're not leaving

They're not leaving because of copyright, they are leaving because it is just a short lived fad with some people.

'Hey I've got to join Instagram' they shout and a few months later 'just so boring to keep it up'.

Granted there will be a hardcore but face it, what's the point of it? Especially when it doesn't benefit you.

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Bubble baron treats Space Station crew to blowup model

LarsG
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Carry On Camping

Will it have an integrated toilet, or will they have an attached portaloo?

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'Red October' has been spying on WORLD LEADERS for 5 years - researchers

LarsG
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Spying?

Spying on Governments and politicians? It would be like trying to understand and make sense of the residents in a Californian Asylum for the criminally insane.

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Apple 'slashes iPhone 5 screen orders', tight-fisted fanbois blamed

LarsG
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IPhone screen just not big enough

The problem with the iPhone 5 is that the screen was just not big enough.

It's the phones with the briefcase sized displays that are selling like hot cakes, people no longer want to be understated and sophisticated, instead they want to stand out from the crowd be gaudy and vulgar.

What better way than to pull out a 'massive'' and flash it round a darkened bar. The fashion for men with clothes that have map pockets and combat style trousers where a phone can be secreted halfway down your trouser leg in a pocket meant for ammunition just stokes the sales. Even though the closest they get to the Great Outdoors is crossing the road to get a sandwich. For women the choice is easier, they can carry the 'massive' in a massive handbag (note how little bags are not so 'in') even when wearing skinny jeans they remain connected.

The next generation of 5",6" and probably 7" phones may yet be developed, they probably won't sell well though, you'd look like such a pr*ck getting that out in a bar.

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Microsoft flings out emergency patch for Iatest gaping IE hole

LarsG
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An

A patch to patch the patched patch.

I feel safer now.

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Twitter's Tweetdeck must 'file accounts or be struck off'

LarsG
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I think HMRC will look at this and wonder why they continue with a business that has no value.....

Questions may be asked as to where the profit is?

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Biz barons jumpy over EU draft data protection reforms

LarsG
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Re: Oh dear@ Yes Me

Bearded sandal wearing tree hugging Guardian reading Lib Dem voter?

I assume this because of your vitriolic accusatory, burn them at the stake outburst.

Mind you, you could be Spanish, Portuguese, Irish, Maltese, Greek safe in the knowledge that the Bank of Germany will keep you afloat during your occupation.

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LarsG
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Happy

The end

The end of pre-ticked boxes?

What will the Banks think?

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Cisco sued by East Carolina University

LarsG
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Copyright?

Have they not got better things to do with their time?

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Brit robojet ‘Taranis’ set for Oz test flight

LarsG
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Re: Prison drone

Sadly they export their dross back to the UK now, most living in the south of England.

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Sorry for the censorship says Chinese chat service

LarsG
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If you think that your conversations are not monitored because you live outside China.....

Think again, because that's the stuff they really want to listen to.

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India's tough hacker crackdown: IT security leaflets with every device

LarsG
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I suppose

It won't matter to the 53% of the population who can neither read nor write, as to the purchasers, who reads the things anyway?

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Vibrator guru on pleasure tech: 'Of all the places you'd want a quality UI....'

LarsG
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Never mix tech with sex

The Engineers Song.

Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,

An engineer told me before he died,

Ah-hum, ah-hum.

An engineer told me before he died,

I have no reason to believe he lied,

Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,

Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.

An engineer told me before he died,

And I have no reason to believe that he lied,

(Chorus) That no matter whatever he tried,

His girlfriend was never satisfied!

(Chorus) That girl she had a .... so wide

She could never be satisfied,

(Chorus) The engineer was a designer,

Measured the bore of her v......,

(Chorus) Then he built her a .... of steel,

Powered by a bloody great wheel,

(Chorus) Yes he built a bloody great wheel,

Two brass balls and a .... of steel

(Chorus) Two balls of brass were filled with cream,

And the whole bloody lot was driven by steam.

(Chorus) He tied his girl to the leg of the bed,

Tied her hands above her head,

(Chorus) There she lay demanding a ....,

He shook her hand and wished her luck,

(Chorus) Round and round went the bloody great wheel,

In and out went the .... of steel,

(Chorus) Up and up went the level of steam,

Down and down went the level of cream.

(Chorus) Till at last the maiden cried,

"Enough! Enough! I am satisfied!"

(Chorus) Now we come to the tragic bit,

There was no way of stopping it,

(Chorus) It went like the piston of a train,

He should have fitted a gearing chain,

(Chorus) Clouds of steam blew out the top,

There wasn't a way to make it stop,

(Chorus) She was split from ... to ...,

And the whole .... thing was covered in ....,

(Chorus) It jumped off her, it jumped on him,

And then it buggered their next of kin,

(Chorus) It jumped on a departing bus,

And the mess it made caused quite a fuss,

(Chorus) The last time, Sir, that .... was seen,

Was in Buckingham Palace .... the Queen,

(Chorus) There's a moral to the story I tell,

If you see it coming better run like hell,

(Chorus) Nine months later a child was born,

With two brass balls and a bloody great horn,

(Chorus) The warning in the story is,

Always fit a safety switch,

(Chorus) The crux of the matter is plain to be seen,

You should never trust a MACHINE!

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Oz astronomical observatory survives firestorm

LarsG
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Pint

Close enough to barbecue the prawns and sausages but not close enough to warm the beer.

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Inside the new climate row as Mystic Met Office goes cool on warming

LarsG
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Fish.........

"Earlier on today, apparently, a woman rang the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way; well, if you're watching, don't worry, there isn't, but having said that, actually, the weather will become very windy, but most of the strong winds, incidentally, will be down over Spain and across into France."

Nothing has changed has it?

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Firefox for Android now runs on EVEN OLDER, slower kit

LarsG
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Re: 15 million more androids @Phoenix50

@Eadon is mistaken, there are only 291 in circulation.

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Facebook testing $100 fee to mail Mark Zuckerberg

LarsG
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Is there

Is there nothing they will do to get publicity?

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White House rejects Death Star petition: '$850qn too pricey'

LarsG
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This

Will be a great disappointment to the many gun happy Americans who would consider owning the best weapon in the Galaxy a right to bear arms.

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Foxconn calls in the cops over supplier bribes claims

LarsG
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This is Business Asian Style......

Eh- Sexy Lady, Oppa is business style

Eh- Sexy Lady oh oh oh oh

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Just what the world needs: Android in the rice cooker

LarsG
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Takes

Less than 20 minutes to cook rice.

If you need it quicker buy the ready made stuff.

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Twitter won't unmask racist Frenchie unless US judge says so

LarsG
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People have opinions, it's not a crime.

There are so many people who spout nonsense and talk crap that we have to or end up having listened to it in our daily lives. Usually we just roll our eyes and move on.

Publish crap and nonsense on Twitter someone gets offended and then jumps up on to the bandwagon and wants to punish, jail or make an example of the fool.

In real life you'd put your argument against the crap, tell the person they are a prat, move on and have nothing more to do with them. That's the way to deal with it.

Having an opinion is not a crime however idiotic misguided or stupid or offensive your opinion is.

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Texas schoolgirl loses case over RFID tag suspension

LarsG
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2020AD our future

New legislation: section 20/23/1847/329-234/ AW

The Government has declared that the population will be micro chipped, DNA sampled and tattoo'd with an identification number.

This is being implemented to protect your freedoms and your rights and to protect the population against as yet unknown threats and dissent. You do not have the right to appeal. You have nothing to fear from your Government if you have nothing to hide.

Failure to comply will result in you being declared a non-citizen entitled to no state facilities.

You cooperation is appreciated.

OUR FUTURE

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US gov blames Iran for cyberattacks on American banks

LarsG
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Harbinger of Doom

The Iranians should take note in 2014 America will have withdrawn its troops from Afganistan.......

Either keep a low profile and make friends

Develop a nuclear arsenal

Or annoy the Demi God USA and expect swift regime change

The choice as they say, is with you.

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After December surge, Apple has sold 40 BEEELLION iOS apps

LarsG
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Apple

Article posted at 1.30am and by 9.30am no nasty troll or comments?

What the hell is going on?

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Intel bets the farm on touch-enabled 'convertible and detachable' Ultrabooks

LarsG
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Re: Winning the battle...

You cannot be everything to everybody, there is always some compromise in a product.

Light portable, long battery life, work station, power user, desktop, handbag size....

No one product will take over.

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Facebook snubs storage barons for cheapo Far East kit - insiders

LarsG
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Not very patriotic is he...

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US nuke lab drops Chinese networking kit

LarsG
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The McCarthy Era

The McCarthy Era Witch Hunts all over again.

God Bless America!

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Lenovo, EA, Intel unite to DESTROY our childhood memories

LarsG
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Danger of damage

My mum used to throw the board and contents on the board at my dad, usually when she found him helping himself to the pile of money like a banker.

She refused to play after one such episode where my Gran was giving my dad unauthorised loans to keep him in the game. It is so much more tactile when you can throw objects at other players.....

I miss those days..

But if it were my iPad/Tablet flying through the air I might not see the funny side.

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