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* Posts by LarsG

2093 posts • joined 4 Oct 2011

Turn OFF your phone or WE'LL ALL DI... live? Europe OKs mobes, tabs non-stop on flights

LarsG
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The Government spokesman stated:

"Our study has found there is absolutely no correlation between the increase in air rage violence over the past six months and the unlimited use of mobile phones on aircraft.

We have also found no evidence related to mobile phone use during air travel and the increase in surgery to remove mobile phones from the rectum.

With regards to the number of passengers randomly falling from the sky, there is no evidence to suggest it is anything but suicide and it is coincidental that a mobile phone was found next to the body in every instance."

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Apple nurses HealthKit apps back to life, discharges iOS 8.0.2

LarsG
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I will let others beta test the update before I commit....

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FBI: Your real SECURITY TERROR? An ANGRY INSIDE MAN

LarsG
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In the US this theory is borne out by the increasing number of workplace shootings.

Don't worry about the IT, worry about the employee who turns up to work with an assault rifle.

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Man, its smartphones are SQUARE. But will BlackBerry make a comeback with them?

LarsG
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For their next trick....

A square wheel.

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I sold 10 MILLION iPhone 6es at the weekend, says Tim Cook. What did you do?

LarsG
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Re: Man who predicts

Not the best way to charge the new iPhone 6.

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Surprise: if you work from home you need the Internet

LarsG
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BufferRage

Oxford Dictionary Definition:

The emotional consequences of buying into the lies of EE broadband and finding out later that 'unlimited internet' means severe traffic management at the most important times.

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Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water

LarsG
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No doubt some enterprising staff will attempt to sell the stock from the street corner to ensure they make up their minimum wage that they have not been paid.

I wouldn't blame them.

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Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer

LarsG
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? @squilookie

'I'm in the market for a SIM free, unlocked phone that gets updates directly from the manufacturer.'

You've not heard about the iPhone then?

You can even buy then Sim free is you want.

I buy the phone, yes it is expensive but I change the phone every year, selling the old one which has superb resale value. I get at least 60% of the original outlay back especially as the phone is looked after and in nearly new condition.

The Sim only deal I have costs me less than £250 a year.

No having to wait two years to upgrade and all updates are on time and free. Add the cost of the phone into the equation I save a fair bit of money in the long term.

Android phones don't have that sort of second hand value

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General Motors issues STOP DELIVERY for 2,800 corvettes over defects in 2015 model

LarsG
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Re: You'd never get that kind of problem with a Toyota

Really?

If I recall correctly they have had a number of recalls, something to do with the brrrraaaaaaaaakessssss!

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Apple's SNEAKY plan: COPY ANDROID. Hello iPhone 6, Watch

LarsG
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Re: Square watches

Still not acceptable, round watch please Mr Ive, that doesn't need charging for a month.

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Facebook, Google and Instagram 'worse than drugs' says Miley Cyrus

LarsG
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Rough with the smooth

Most performers want adoration, swarms of fans and people to keep telling them how wonderful they are.

Unfortunately if honesty were to prevail we may comment on their drug use, the poor choice of outfit at the awards ceremony, their bad behaviour, the drink driving ban, being caught with a prostitute in a car, racist remarks being made etc etc etc.

In the real world life is different to the bubble most of these performers live in.

No wonder Google has so many right to be forgotten requests.

They are one dimensional people in a three dimensional world.

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Angry Birds CEO hops into slingshot, goes 'WEEEEE!'

LarsG
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Re: Games are more like movies than software business

Yes and after they have made 5 sequels people stop going to see them and they go straight to video, which no one buys.

Next we will probably have remakes............ Even worse.

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MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS

LarsG
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The contract

Chapter 5, paragraph 8, section 234.96

It is compulsory to have sex with me at least 22 times a week.

Chapter 5, paragraph 8, section 234.97

It is compulsory to satisfy my every deviant need.

Chapter 5, paragraph 8, section 234.98

It is compulsory to bring me to an orgasm 98% of the time.

Chapter 5, paragraph 8, section 234.99

Alcohol will be strictly forbidden.

Come on, they'll never find anyone with these onerous contract conditions will they.

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Microsoft boots 1,500 dodgy apps from the Windows Store

LarsG
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@MacroRodent

Well the answer to that is someone designed it, several decided it was a good idea, more decided it would work and agreed to release it.

Who should we blame? Are they still in a job?

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Top Gun display for your CAR: Heads-up fighter pilot tech

LarsG
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Slightly different when used in a fighter jet

However, if a prolific texter uses the device, every other minute a message will pop up distracting the driver, firstly to read the message and then to reply because it will be impossible the ignore.

Add in the use of the sat-nav a passenger and a phone call?

How long before the device is banned or a driver runs into someone.

Safety is not the devices main selling point.

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Seven Apple Store staff cuffed in alleged $500k stolen iPhone scam bust

LarsG
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Using their initiative....

Not something you'd hear headlining about Android phones, no resale value.

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Uber alles.. NOT: Berlin bans taxi ride app over 'safety' fears

LarsG
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Germany

Germany is regulated to the n'th degree. Everything has a rule. Having lived in the country for a great many years rules include,

No hanging washing out on a Sunday

Mowing the lawn to be undertaken not after certain times, not on Sundays

No barbecues on balconies

Dogs are not allowed to bark after 9pm (sign on farming village notice board)

No car washing outside your house, only in designated car washes (Kries Holzminden)

Fail the driving test 3 times you will have to attend the 'idiots school'

Winter tyres compulsory on a specific date in October

A fine if you shout at, abuse or stick your fingers up to another motorist

Recycling inspectors look in bins

Weed killer banned

You are responsible for the pavement (snow) outside your house

Every aspect of life has a rule so you know exactly where you stand, not only do the police enforce these rules but your neighbours will willingly tell on you 'Anzeigen' or report you to the authorities. It's in their DNA and psyche.

The Germans will eventually allow the app, but only when they have thoroughly legislated for it.

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Dodgy payday loan ads make up 83% of cases probed by UK's FCA

LarsG
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Re: A tax on the terminally stupid

Not stupid.

Just desperate.

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Russian PM's Twitter hacked to slap down Putin, post fake resignation

LarsG
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If he catches them..... And he will.....

Expect a significant stay in Hotel Gulag

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Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty

LarsG
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Re: The full monty

Just been on holiday for a week. When you are on an all inclusive it is criminal not to get your money's worth of food during breakfast.

My usual breakfast of porridge was substituted for a full cooked extreme breakfast every day.

4 rashers of bacon

3 sausages

3 eggs

2 Hash browns ( American addition)

1 ladle of Beans

4 grilled half tomatoes

2 halves fried bread

4 toasts

2 ladles of mushrooms

1 black pudding

Tea

I have no idea what the calorific value of this was over 7 days but I felt I had value for money.

It is a relief to be back on porridge.

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Surprise! Government mega-infrastructure project cocked up

LarsG
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I feel a little better now I know it's not just the UK who are masters of the great IT balls up.

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African samba queen: Don't cut off pirates' net connections – cut off their FINGERS

LarsG
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Re: Ahh I see....

Nigeria, heart of world scams....

Deer Sir,

I is the acclaimed gentilmen to dispose of the estate of our eminant business person Mr U R Ripoff.

I have $200000000000 to deposit in you account. Please send small cheque for £500 to inherits said monies.

Your expectantly,

Mr W.E. Sawyoucoming

Cutting the heads off would be more appropriate.

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It's official: You can now legally carrier-unlock your mobile in the US

LarsG
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Re: It's nice to see people are chipping away on the DMCA

International Law?

As with all Despotic Democracies they choose what to follow and what to ignore.

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Apple fanbois SCREAM as update BRICKS their Macbook Airs

LarsG
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Re: Lucky you

I had a similar experience with Dell, 2 years 4 days ( extended 2 year warranty ) screen went black GeForce card died though overheating. Incidentally, they brought out a bios update that made the fan work harder.

What I didn't realise was in the USA this was a known problem and some people had the card replaced out of Dell even if it was out of warranty.

Anyway Dell said tough luck to me so I bought a new model of the XPS. This time it was the software, it never liked the hardware. Reboot, reboot, reboot... Even worse, it just didn't like 3rd party software.

After 9 month I went and bought into Apple. Not only can Do I have OSX, but I can run windows with parallels. Best of both worlds.

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Another Samsung supplier fingered in new 'child labor' probe

LarsG
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Surprised there has been no vitriolic outbursts on here that usually accompanies this kind of headline when Apple are perceived to be at fault.

Instead we have apologists trying to excuse the actions of the corporation.

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Cyber-Senate's cyber-security cyber-law cyber-scares cyber-rights cyber-fighters

LarsG
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@veti

"only applies if the supplying firm has evidence that the user is a US citizen"...

Which means the rest of the world is fair game as far as they are concerned.

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App permissions? Pah! Rogue Android soft can 'place phone calls at will'

LarsG
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@Gene Cash

'And I hear 4.4.4 is coming to the Moto G in a couple months, so I'm glad I don't have to throw it away and buy a new phone.'

I love your optimism you happy smiley person you. Your depression will be all the greater when they don't deliver.

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USA to insist on pre-flight mobe power probe

LarsG
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Maybe

Instead of asking you to turn it on and turn if off again they should check all those 3rd party chargers that have a tendency to explode.....

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Lindsay Lohan sues Grand Theft Auto V makers for 'using her image'

LarsG
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Re: Looks more like...

Can't see any powder around the nose... So it can't be her can it?

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Catch cack-handed baggage handlers in the act with Ericsson's SPY SUITCASE

LarsG
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Having lost 4 suitcases over the years it will make no difference to me what the baggage handlers have done to it.

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Cambridge Assessment exams CHAOS: Computing students' work may be BINNED

LarsG
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They reap what they sow, 12 years of Labour meddling in education and 4 years of inaction by the Conservatives coupled with intransigent teaching staff who are not up to standard.

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Microsoft's Windows Phone 8.1 world conquest plan: folders!

LarsG
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We ALL know who has the patent on this one, don't we!

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True fact: Your CAT wees ... like a racehorse

LarsG
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Not something I wanted to read eating breakfast this morning

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Half a meellion euros stolen in week-long bank smash 'n' grab

LarsG
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Yes but then it is up to the customer to prove they have not been negligent in revealing their passwords.

The presumption of course is that the bank is not at fault.

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Google Nest slurps your life into the Matrix? The TRUTH

LarsG
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My car

Parks itself, tells me if I am about to hit another vehicle, applies the brakes if I don't, calls the emergency services when I crash........

So WHY is it so difficult to produce a Kettle that turns on the tap and fills itself and then makes the best cup of tea in the world, a toaster that visits the bread bin, picks up a couple of slices and toasts it to perfection because the artificial intelligence knows how I like it, a knife that spreads butter and then marmite without leaving crumbs or butter behind.

Finally a plate that washes itself.

Is this too much to ask?

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Hate phone games that make you buy in-app gumble? Congrats, you're a niche player

LarsG
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Re: As a niche device owner....

Well put.

If it has 'In-App' purchases I ignore them.

The worst offenders are devs that allow you play the games but when you get to a certain level it is impossible to progress fairly without buying something extra especially when they target children's games.

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Happy Birthday Tetris: It's flipping 30

LarsG
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Re: After-effects

I spent an entire flight to Sydney playing it on a Nintendo thingy, then spent the entire flight back dreaming about it.

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Brit lands on Rockall with survival podule, starts record attempt

LarsG
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Raising money for Help the Hero's is reason enough.

Now that he is on it, in 60 days he will have to get off it.

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Tech talk bloke compares girlfriend to irritating Java tool – did he deserve flames?

LarsG
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Re: My wife liked it @Mr C

Yeah but I'm jealous!

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LarsG
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Re: My wife liked it @Mr C

Your wife must be really easy to please!

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LarsG
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He definitely has a girlfriend because his analogy is spot on.

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The Strippers, Unicorn Computers and Martian Watches of Computex

LarsG
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Are the 'showgirls' outside the cave for sale?

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Game of Thrones scribe George R R Martin will KILL YOU for US$20K

LarsG
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If you name was John Smith there'd be a lot of people claiming the accolade that the character was named after them. It would only be useful if you had an 'unusual name'.

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Android is a BURNING 'hellstew' of malware, cackles Apple's Cook

LarsG
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It's the silly season again

Here we go again....

Trying to put your point across to an Android user is like trying to negotiate with a teenage Kevin.

They think they know it all but in fact know very little.

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Samsung in a TIZZY: OH PLEASE make apps for our Tizen Z mobe

LarsG
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Late

So late to the table that the washing up has been done, the plates put away and the scraps are inside the dog.

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OK, execs. You want Apple kit. And Windows Phone, too? Really?

LarsG
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'Samsung however would no doubt argue that the security fears are unfounded as the company’s Knox containerisation solution has just been given clearance for use by British government workers.'

Really? Who took the bung?

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YOSEMITE GLAM: Apple unveils gussied up OS X

LarsG
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Devices are aware of what you are doing?

Sounds like an NSA backdoor

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Kardashian's bottom plumps down on Instagram throne

LarsG
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Yet again more contrived rubbish.

More worrying is the number of people who even bothered to like the photographs. There has got to be better things to do.

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SCIENCE explains why you LOVE the smell of BACON

LarsG
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Re: Yank my chain

Americans grow and produce their food to fit into their mouths.

Invariably the food or produce tends to be larger.

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The British are coming! The British are coming! And they're buying Surface fondleslabs

LarsG
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There's one..

I actually saw someone with one today. I nudged the person to my left and nodded in the direction of the slab. The owner of said slab noticed, looked furtive and then covered it up with a newspaper.

Maybe he though we would rob him, maybe he was embarrassed, we will never know.

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