* Posts by earl grey

1630 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

AI bots will kill us all! Or at least may seriously inconvenience humans

earl grey
Trollface

Ox cart speeds

Pah! Everyone knows that ox carts should never exceed the speed of a sheep in a vacuum (or warp 9.9).

John McAfee plans to destroy Google. Details? Ummm...

earl grey
Devil

Re: I'm a statistic

Thank you. Frankly, that was the first thing that popped into my head on reading this article.

I'm number 69.

UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

earl grey
Devil

OMG, I'm warped for life.

No I'm not. ODFO

Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

earl grey
Trollface

Re: What about the shark?

Yeah, yeah. Next thing you'll be telling us is the shark is delivering candygrams.

earl grey
Trollface

Re: ... suspenders

I guess it all depends on whether your mean "boy" suspenders or "girl" suspenders now, don't it??

earl grey
Facepalm

Same whingers who don't like the new female Jane Tennison

After all, the old one was, erm... wait a mo....

earl grey
Trollface

Miss Marple played by

Maybe Dame Edna

earl grey
Devil

Doctor Nurse

For some reason makes me think of Doctor Girlfriend.

I know, not related at all; just two random brain cells rubbing together.

Just in time for summer boozing: Boffins smash world record for the most perfect ice cubes

earl grey
Facepalm

Watch out where the huskies go

You'll have more than yellow ice.

Zero accidents, all of your data – what The Reg learnt at Bosch's autonomous car bash

earl grey
Paris Hilton

Re: Cars withe EULA

"tracking your eye movements"

I just hope they're not tracking my hand movements.

earl grey
Trollface

"Inside the trunk of an autonomous vehicle"

Inside the trunk? What is this, an elephant?

Brit teen accused of running malware factory and helpdesk for crims

earl grey
Facepalm

I can hardly wait for the defense.

he's got arseholers, erm...

Boffins with frickin' laser beams chase universe's mysterious trihydrogen

earl grey
Pint

"elucidated in 1925"

That impressed the hella out of me. Even though they're probably no longer around; drinks to those 1925 boffins.

BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

earl grey
Pint

just in time for the weekend

Have one (or more, as necessary).

New work: Algorithms to give self-driving cars 'impulsive' human 'ethics'

earl grey
Trollface

Re: Pick your ethics

Can we make it a game for points? Death race 2000 style? Ms. May riding on a albino drop bear on the back of jeremy. More points if you get 'em all.

earl grey
Devil

yeah, i'm not quite ready

For a car that sacrifices me for toddlers, pensioners, bikers, or anyone else in the road who doesn't belong on the lane i'm in. no thank you.

Tape lives! The tape archive bit bucket is becoming bottomless

earl grey
Trollface

All well and good

But if it can't read my TR-4 tapes, it won't do me any good.

It's time for a long, hard mass debate over sex robots, experts conclude

earl grey
Trollface

In a word - Fembots

It's worth a shot.

Microsoft boasted it had rebuilt Skype 'from the ground up'. Instead, it should have buried it

earl grey
Devil

Re: El Reg reached out ...

I think they meant reached out with a bat. A couple of good hits might knock some sense into someone at MS.

PCs will get pricier and you're gonna like it, say Gartner market shamans

earl grey
Trollface

appetite for better components.

so, no windows 10 then?

Extreme trainspotting on Britain's highest (and windiest) railway

earl grey
Pint

Thank you

Liked this a lot. Reminded me to go look up some info on the five inclines they used to have in Cincinnati that i saw the remnants of maybe 45 years ago. Brakes be a good think when you read about those old systems.

Photobucket says photo-f**k-it, starts off-site image shakedown

earl grey
Paris Hilton

Re: Lolwut

"in your circumscribed universe"

Sorry, i read that as circumcised and didn't understand what all the snipping was about.

Maybe she knows.

earl grey
Trollface

rattlesnake in a pinata... ®

Ok, I'll bite...erm....

New keyboard please; I may have to borrow that phrase. Let me know where to send the payments.

Wanna tap 3 million phone calls? All it takes is one measly warrant

earl grey
Facepalm

Re: Wanna tap 3 MEELLION phone calls?

I think i just got the nauseam part just reading that.

Exposed pipes – check. Giant pillows – check. French startup mega-campus opens

earl grey
Trollface

Re: Just wondering

That's actually pedobear. Good to see they have all the bases covered.

French general accused of nicking fast jet for weekend trips to the Sun

earl grey
Facepalm

want

Want that little baby jet in my garage for weekend trips to... erm, it's all for business.

Search results suddenly missing from Google? Well, BLAME CANADA!

earl grey
Mushroom

Re: No results for Equustek

Google could easily return zero results on a search for "bleep" and claim they have no way to differentiate between legit and illegit references.

Nice little business you had there; too bad nobody can find it any more. Let them use BING!

Breaking news, literally: Newspaper's quakebot rumbled for fake story

earl grey
Paris Hilton

I thought i felt something.

She said i was all wet.

Linus Torvalds slams 'pure garbage' from 'clowns' at Grsecurity

earl grey
Flame

Dear Whingers,

ODFO

Canadian sniper makes kill shot at distance of 3.5 KILOMETRES

earl grey
Unhappy

"idiot was a nutter who had mental issues "

That's pretty much every religion. And yes, they're all over the world.

Genoans flout terror ban with bumper basil hand baggage policy

earl grey
Facepalm

Mint sauce for Wales.

I've heard of mind sauce for mutton, but never seen a big enough barrel for a whale, much less a pod.

BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

earl grey
Pint

time for a few

Have more than one to start the weekend correctly.

Report estimates cost of disruption to GPS in UK would be £1bn per day

earl grey
Trollface

Re: That's why the EU has started Galileo...

That fully operational reminds me of some other space based thing....

earl grey
Trollface

Re: What a load of crap @Mike 125

IT STINKS!

BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

earl grey
Pint

reinforcements

as required

Banking websites are 'littered with trackers' ogling your credit risk

earl grey
Trollface

Re: Not surprising

So sorry. I read: " raw server logs" as raw sewage logs.

It's probably about the same.

Five Eyes nations stare menacingly at tech biz and its encryption

earl grey
FAIL

Re: Guarantee a backdoor into every PC in a country and they will come.

My kids never had tantrums because they simply weren't allowed. period. no exceptions and no extremes.

earl grey
Flame

Privacy = virginity

Once it's gone; it's gone forever. It doesn't matter when, how, who, or what kind of story you have about it; it's gone.

PC, Ethernet and tablet computer pioneer 'Chuck' Thacker passes

earl grey
Unhappy

Another loss for mankind

We're getting poorer by the day. Condolences to friends and family.

Speaking in Tech: Googlers don't like googling. It's a fool's gerund*

earl grey
Coat

You need a gerundtologist

I'll get me coat.

IBM will soon become sole gatekeepers to the realm of tape – report

earl grey
Unhappy

I miss tape for my PC

Yes, tape. And no, I'm not trolling.

AWS launches celebrity-spotting-as-a-service: What a time to be alive

earl grey
Mushroom

NSFW would help

thanks, but i have to go clear cache and files and who knows what all. I can't afford to have that seen on my work computer.

My unpopular career in writing computer reviews? It's a gift

earl grey
Trollface

Re: You can probably get Microsoft to give you Windows 10...

I expect even anti-virals wouldn't help much; nor would anti-fungals or simply anitbiotics. Best to wear those gloves someplace you really need protection.

earl grey
Pint

a great way to hold your next one

so have one for the weekend

Alphabet offloads bot businesses Boston Dynamics and SCHAFT

earl grey
Pint

have one for the weekend

Who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about? (Shaft)

Right on

Isaac Hayes - Theme From Shaft

Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law gets six months for hacking sweary super-chef's computer

earl grey
Headmaster

not with read or lead

not with lead, as Pb? seriously, how do you say that word?

Forcing digital forensics to obey 'one size fits all' crime lab standard is 'stupid and expensive'

earl grey
Devil

we found unicorn pronz on your computer

did your lab follow 17025?

no

request dismissal of all charges and remit of costs

Golden handshakes of almost half a million at Wikimedia Foundation

earl grey
Trollface

Here's your golden

Is that rain?

Senator blows a fuse as US spies continue lying over spying program

earl grey
Trollface

Re: So-

"strong and stable person"

So you're saying like a draft horse or jackass maybe?

UK PM Theresa May's response to terror attacks 'shortsighted'

earl grey
Unhappy

Please vote

The numpty of your choice is waiting to rule the slavering masses.