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* Posts by DJO

335 posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

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Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

DJO
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Re: When I drive on twisty mountain roads

Was that you in the opening of the original Italian Job?

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VINYL is BACK and you can thank Sonos for that

DJO
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Re: BD1/BD2 belts

They are out there but they cost more than the entire turntable cost when new.

I'd also check the motor mounting as that was basically just a few rubber bands which will probably have petrified a bit by now.

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DJO
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Re: Wot - No LP12?

I don't go for the 'oxygen free cable laid along ley lines' nonsense, because that's just a load of balls.

Quite right, as any fule kno they should be laid at right angles to the ley lines.

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Robot deputy blasts possibly explosive Mexican beans with CANNON in 'controlled explosion'

DJO
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Ticking?

What is it over there, 1970? I doubt if anybody has used a mechanical timer in a bomb for at least 40 years as electronic ones are more rugged, reliable, cheaper, easier to use and I'd better stop incriminating myself now.

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How Hollywood film-makers wove proper physics into Interstellar

DJO
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Pirate

Re: Am I in the right place?

old pirate bar - OK I can see that, but bourbon! Pirates drink Rum, everybody knows that - Yo ho ho and a bottle of thereof and other jolly shanties.

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DJO
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Re: Am I in the right place?

Am I at the Register? I seem to be surrounded by cynical old bastards

Yes you are at The Register and if you are surprised by "cynical old bastards" you've plainly not been here for long.

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The Imitation Game: Bringing Alan Turing's classified life to light

DJO
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Facepalm

Really?

Not only was Turing’s most famous work – breaking the German Enigma code during World War II

Er, no, that was broken by Polish codebreakers before the war had started and they passed their knowledge to British intelligence, Turing took that work and expanded on it to crack the more complex codes used by the German high command.

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Banksy denies Banksy impostor's claim to Banksy.com – which isn't owned by Banksy

DJO
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Happy

Re: FUCKIN VANDAL

Well it depends upon what they were drawing outside his house.

Edit: Oops, I see from your message it was outside their house in which case your assessment is quite correct and proper, I salute you.

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Voyager 1 now EIGHTEEN LIGHT HOURS from home

DJO
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Re: Time dilation

doesn't that just mean the mass of the propellant increases as well, so that the thrust stays constant?

Good question, I wish I knew the answer but I would have thought that no matter what the mass of fuel is the volume is constant so the chemical or nuclear energy available remains constant. However reaction mass is a different question but as it's mass has increased it'll take more energy to propel a given volume so I don't think there's any easy way out of the problem.

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DJO
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Re: Time dilation

A constant 1g acceleration would get you to near c in 30 years

There's something wrong with your maths.

v = at + u

v = final speed

a = acceleration

t = time

u = initial velocity

a = 1G = 9.80665 m/s^2

t = 1 year = 31,557,600 seconds

u =0

therefore v = 9.80665 x 31,557,600 = 309,474,338.04

Which is a tad more than 299,792,458 so is just not going to happen.

300 days at 1G would leave you zipping along at 254,188,368 m/s (84.8% c) and you'd cover 124 light days while doing it, as a fun side effect it'd also increase your mass to 1.886 times your rest mass.

Not all wrong though, 1 day at 0.5g would get you to 423km/s is correct. (423,647.28 m/s)

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DJO
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Re: Three light minutes a week?

It does sound too fast, 3 minutes/week is about 2.6 hours/year. Voyager does not hold much fuel, some for manoeuvring but little for propulsion and it's been over 30 years since it's last major encounter and it's met few bodies it could slingshot off so either it has accelerated somehow or it can't be going anything close to 3 minutes/week as that would put it about 60 hours out.

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How to get $542m from Google: Dress as a SPACEMAN with dayglo dancers – Magic Leap

DJO
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Re: With the ending of the Double Irish looming

I was wondering about that, you get a hopeless but nebulous sounding company, stuff a truckload of cash into it and put some of your cronies, friends or relations on the board for huge salaries then do nothing for a year or two then it collapses so you can write the entire "investment" off against tax and some of your cronies, friends or relations have got rich.

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MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less

DJO
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She may have a point

For a colonisation mission an all female crew is the best bet to ensure genetic diversity.

As long as you include a freezer full of sperm and a turkey baster, that way you could have a few dozen women and genetically speaking tens if not hundreds of thousands of men which should last for several generations until the colony has a sufficiently diverse genetic base.

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Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)

DJO
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Re: A years supply?

£16.95 per month for four bars of chocolate?

Well there's "bars" and then there's "bars"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-11284054

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French 'terror law' declares WAR on the INTERNET itself, say digi-rights folks

DJO
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We know a song about this don't we girls and boys

Anything you can do, I can do better!

I can do anything better than you!

No you can't!

Yes, Icann!

No, you can't!

Yes, Icann!

No, you can't!

Yes, Icann, Yes, Icann!

I can over-react to a single outrage

I can screw you with a no-fly list

I can convict in secret courts

Secret courts, is that all?

Much more but I can't tell you now

Really

Yes

No you can't!

Yes, Icann!

No, you can't!

Yes, Icann!

No, you can't!

Yes, Icann, Yes, Icann!

And so on..........

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Snapchat 'hack' pics mostly clothed user snaps, odd bits of legacy pr0n – report

DJO
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Re: Being a bit of a Devil's Advocate...

It does get tricky, is every owner of the Blind Faith album inadvertently an evil pervy paedo who should be incarcerated for their own good? Probably not, well not all of them anyway.

What about the Nirvana album with the swimming naked boy? Led Zeppelin Houses of the Holy? and so on ad infinitum. That's just record covers, mainstream art is even worse.

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Twitter sues US government for right to disclose NOTHING

DJO
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Simple solution

American outlets seem to be able to publish information that has been banned in the UK with impunity so I see no reason why a non-US based Twitter office cannot publish the information to be read anywhere except America.

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'Encryption will make life very easy for criminals and terrorists'

DJO
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Dual standards?

Encryption might be used by criminals and terrorists so it must be banned.

Guns are used by criminals and terrorists so we must sell even more of them.

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POISON PI sniffs WiFi from your mail room, goes on rampage

DJO
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Re: Not likely to succeed

And the x-ray mail scanners are almost invariably located in the post room (nobody in management cares that much if the post room staff get blown up) and all this hack needs to be in inside the building so by the time this gets noticed on x-ray and then dumped into a bucket of water or whatever protocols are in place for suspect packages it would have already done it's work, so I would disagree and say that is very likely to succeed but is too complicated and too expensive for casual use.

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A spin of roulette in the sporty Ford Fiesta Black

DJO
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Repairs vs Depreciation

BMW, Mercedes, VAG? nice cars, but when they go (and they do!), it costs big bucks. Even some of their biggest advocates won't own them outside of the warranty period.

Not sure if in pure financial terms that's a sensible option. Buy a new car for say £16,000 and after a few years it's lost over half it's value, but buying a "pre-owned" model and you only pay a fraction and you might have an expensive repair bill but it's unlikely to equal the depreciation of a new car over the same duration. Personally given the choice of a new Ford Fester against a 5 or 6 year old Merc I know which I'd choose.

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Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure

DJO
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Re: Watch that watch! - Erratum

"Why much about with" should of course read "Why muck about with"

Sorry about that.

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DJO
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Re: Watch that watch!

Why much about with watches or perfume when all you need is, for example, a small piece of fairy cake:

Since every piece of matter in the universe is in someway affected by every other piece of matter in the universe, it is, in theory, possible to extrapolate the whole of creation - every galaxy, every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition, and their economic and social history, from, say - one small piece of fairy cake.

(Douglas Adams - but you knew that)

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Apple Watch will CONQUER smartwatch world – analysts

DJO
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Facepalm

Re: Sleeping

So when are you going to charge it up if you wear it all night?

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DJO
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How do you know the battery life is too short?

Mainly because Apple said it was. "Charging every night" implies the charge will last for less than 48 hours and maybe less than 24 hours. Also Apple are reported to still be trying to extend battery life before product release.

I thought the strap would be an easy location for a bunch of tiny batteries but they haven't got around to stealing innovating that one yet.

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DJO
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reasonable entry price make for a compelling new product

"Reasonable"? I thought it was rather pricey for what you get and the battery life is way too short.

But it will sell by the bucket load, even if only to the Appleistas.

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Drones swarm over bearded Brit billionaire's island getaway

DJO
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Re: Oh suuuuuure, it STARTS with pretty pictures....

Gosh, with all those armed flying cameras the TV syndication rights would be worth a fortune.

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Ferraris, Zondas and ... er, a bike with a 500hp V10 under the saddle

DJO
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Re: The Morgan Special

Like so many cars these days it looks great* from the front but the back looks dreadful.

* In this case when I say "great" I means it looks like proper Morgans which always have a certain charm.

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NASA to reformat Opportunity rover's memory from 125 million miles away

DJO
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Dust removal

The worry was that the dust would like Moon dust be charged and the vibration trick wouldn't work all that well with charged dust, also ultrasonic vibrations would put stress on the connections between the panels and the rover which could introduce a whole new selection of faults. So even if it could work the problems in hardening the rest of the vehicle to tolerate the vibrations make it not worth the effort. Probably.

As for wipers I suspect they didn't want to scratch the cell surfaces which is what wipers in a dry dusty environment will inevitably do.

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Siri: Helpful personal assistant or SERIAL APP KILLER?

DJO
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Re: But do you trust it?

Working in IT, and to be fair being old, I have an inbuilt distrust of computers as I know that quite often, they are simply not logical.

Curious conclusion, I too work in IT and have since dinosaurs roamed the world, okay maybe not quite that long but you get the idea and I know computers are the epitome of logic seeing as that's what the underlying circuitry is based on, however I also know that the idiots who write the programs are far from logical and that's the problem which was summed up when the first pile of punched cards got shuffled: GIGO (Garbage In, Garbage Out).

So I fully trust computers to do exactly what their programming tells them to do but I have very little trust in the software running on them, even (especially) stuff I wrote.

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LOHAN tunes into ultra long range radio

DJO
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Re: 900MHz

The 900MHz option is probably only USA. Illegal in EU.

I refer the learned gentleman to the location of the proposed launch site.

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LOHAN wrapped in vinyl as Kickstarter campaign hits £18,000!

DJO
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Pint

Re: Value for money

Every pub in London is "Vulture Central", one just selects the nearest one. After 17 pints of "Gonad's Old Disgusting" they all look the same anyway.

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Stephen Hawking biopic: Big on romance, not so much with the science?

DJO
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Re: Mr Hawking – Over-rated - Big Bang Mythology

So complicated maths mean it must be correct ? of course I understand now

Good grief of course not, that's a really stupid thing to deduce from what I wrote.

Correlation does not imply causation.

There is obviously no link between the complexity and correctness or otherwise, why I mentioned it was because if you had seen the maths involved in the fine detail of the big bang theory and understood any of it, then "simple" is not a word you would ever contemplate using. (Unless you were perhaps a former Lucasian professor of mathematics or had studied maths to a similar level)

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DJO
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Re: Mr Hawking – Over-rated - Big Bang Mythology

The simplistic big bang theory is impossible to prove or disprove

simplistic? If you think it's simple then you plainly do not understand it and if you don't understand it you are in no position to pass judgement upon it.

Simple - sheeesh, he plainly hasn't seen the maths involved.

As for a simple correlation but not proof, the universe is expanding, if you run the clock backwards what do you get and when do you get it? (for one answer see what Hawking & Hubble had to say)

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Stalwart hatchback gets a plug-in: Volkswagen e-Golf

DJO
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Re: Frunk?

Front wheel drive.

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BAD VIBES: High-speed video camera records your voice from trash

DJO
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Insufficient data

The signal processing of the video wasn't in anything like real time: “Processing each video typically took 2 to 3 hours using MATLAB on a machine with two 3.46 GHz processors and 32 GB of RAM”

Without knowing the length of the videos in question that is a useless statistic. If each video was 1 to 2 hours long then that's quite good, if they were around 10 to 15 seconds then there's a lot of work to be done.

Good to see a nicely ambiguous heading from El Reg, there's no way this could ever reconstruct the audio from old silent movies but of course that claim is never made or explicitly implied, the oblique suggestion is plausibly deniable - well done chaps!

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UK.gov wants public sector to rip up data protection law

DJO
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New Government Slogan

"Propagating inaccurate personal data since 2015"

I assume that citizens will be given the right to review and edit?

What d'ya mean "not a fucking chance"?

Well that's something to look forward to.

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Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

DJO
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Boffin

Re: The simple answer is usually the obvious one

You're all wrong. My extensive research in this area leads me to believe the screw is in a state of quantum flux.

The behaviour of screws and screwdrivers while superficially similar are actually different processes, the screw as has been frequently observed is driven by pure malice and will strive to hide itself in the most awkward place and if possible will cause pain when located and does employ quantum effects to relocate without passing through the intervening space.

Screwdrivers however employ dimensional gyroscopy where the turning action generates a force at right angles to the axis of rotation but as it is unable to rotate along either of the other 2 normal axes the force builds up until the screwdriver can not store any more energy and it moves at right angles to all the normal 3 dimensions which results in it jumping forward in time.

Obvious really.

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DJO
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Re: The simple answer is usually the obvious one

Pah, it's not a vortex or invisibility as any fule kno, what screwdrivers exhibit is defocused temporal stability which means they can jump into the future so they reappear in the exact place you have already searched several times.

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Adam Afriyie MP: Smart meters are NOT so smart

DJO
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A bit before my time but I seem to recall the refrain was "Electricity too cheap to meter", that worked a treat didn't it.

There is no reason to be profligate just because we have high generating capacity, anyway replacing all generating with nuclear wouldn't work as nuclear is only really suitable for the baseline generation we'd still need near-line generators that can be rapidly brought on line to meed transient demand or to fill in when there's little wind, this can be done with hydro or gas both of which can go from idle to generating in a few minutes, to take coal or nuclear from idle to full capacity can take hours or even days.

Anyway generating with fusion is only 20 years away and that will really be a game changer, strangely fusion has been "20 years away" for the last 30 or so years but we'll get there eventually.

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Flamewars in SPAAACE: cooler fires hint at energy efficiency

DJO
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Re: More efficient when colder?

Considering that heat of chemical reactions expanding gasses is what makes internal combustion engines work

No it's not, the expansion due to heat does have a slight contribution but the main force is the creation of gasses by burning liquid fuel, gasses occupy a greater volume than the progenitor fuels and it's that change that drives the engine.

A steam engine does utilize the expansion but that's a phase change not just gasses expanding as they get hotter.

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Porsche Panamera S E-Hybrid: The plug-in for plutocrats

DJO
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11 year old SLK 320 for 5% - Great car if you only need 2 seats and don't do a lot of miles, mpg is pretty dire but car is super comfy.

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Apple fanbois SCREAM as update BRICKS their Macbook Airs

DJO
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Warranty

Your Lordship

even tho it was well over 6 months past the 1 year warranty

As you are a member of the peerage I must assume you live in the UK in which case the statutory warranty is 2 years (the influence of those evil Europeans, dreadful isn't it) so they had to replace it.

For design faults there is no limit to the age where the responsibility lies although some common sense is employed here.

Strangely few US based suppliers make it obvious that there is a statutory 2 year warranty, tacitly encouraging consumers to believe in the US style 1 year warranty.

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New BOMB detect-o-tech 'could give sniffer dogs competition': TRUE

DJO
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Re: As for testing...

Or somebody who handles playing cards coated with nitro-cellulose (admittedly a bit rare these days but still extant) or a heart patient with a bottle of "Nitrolingual" (a mixture of ethanol, a few micrograms of nitroglycerine and a soupçon of mint oil) in his or her pocket or any of a dozen other potential false positives.

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There's NOTHING on TV in Europe – American video DOMINATES

DJO
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Holmes

Another breakthrough from the centre for establishing the obvious.

So a single country with a population of over 300 million produces more programming than 20 or so countries with an average population of around 30 million and having to cater to half a dozen different languages.

In other news: Fire is hot.

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That stirring LOHAN motto: Anyone know a native Latin speaker?

DJO
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Re: to the pub

"it's clearly in the wrong order and not very latin really."

Yeah, sorry about that but I learnt what little latin I do have from the Asterix books which when I think about it might not have been the most accurate source.

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FLAPE – the next BIG THING in storage

DJO
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Re: Disk is a lot faster.

"The contemplated disk scheme is a very conservative RAID 1/0, and is still massivly cheaper than tape."

Absolutely, if you have a few hundred tapes. However if you have a few hundred thousand tapes the economics change.

It does happen, I used to work for a well known telecommunications company in one of their many data centres and we had well over 1/4 million tapes spread between on and off site stores. There were also about 20 cassette loaded drives (12 tapes per cassette) and 7 sodding great robotic libraries (1 stand alone and 2 interlinked clusters of 3) each with lots of drives.Really we weren't as interested in speed as data integrity so we just made do with lots of duplication but that also did help the speed of data retrieval.

We never had any problems with "the logistics of the tape-handler robots getting very ugly very fast" in fact the robotic libraries were a treat to work with, just load and forget (every bloody day), better than the cassette drives that ask for the cassette of tapes to be changed every hour or so. Got to have something for the tape monkeys to do.

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DJO
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Re: @another_vulture

It is rather generous but I suspect it includes controllers, cases, power supplies, cabling, replacements, an area within a building to stick it all, air conditioning, electricity and labour spread over a 10 year time scale. When you include all the costs over several years it is not a hugely excessive estimate.

Considering just the purchase cost of the hardware is rather naive.

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DJO
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Re: Disk is a lot faster.

You do realize that tape can be striped as well, totally negating your argument?

Also you'd need some backup for the backup if you were spreading a file over 200 drives and that way madness lies.

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DJO
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Headmaster

Say wha?

“This [Flape] combination of technologies when used for long-term archiving can save IT departments as much as 300 per cent of their overall IT budget over the course of 10 years.”

I spent some time seeing if I could come up with an even stupider way of saying "could save up to 30% of the budget" but failed, well done those chaps, good work but terrible writing skills.

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UK.gov's data grab and stab law IMMINENT as Drip drips through House of Lords

DJO
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Learn from history, or not.

"Legislate in haste repent at leisure"

Except this bunch of maniacs wouldn't know how to repent.

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