* Posts by DJO

412 posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

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Excel hell messes up ~20 per cent of genetic science papers

DJO

It's not changing it to a time of day, it's just that it's impossible to know if two digits separated by a : are HH:MM or MM:SS so it defaults to HH:MM.

Enter unambiguous values such as (to use your example): "0:34:20" - a bit more typing but after a while it (should) become second nature.

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DJO

Re: An easy fix ...

You don't even need to do that. Just format the column as Text rather than general.

Yes yes, that works a treat if you are typing in data

Now try again with importing a multi megabyte CSV file full of, for example, phone numbers (leading zero gets stripped) or SIM numbers (truncated & converted to exponent notation).

It's relatively simple to write a pre-processor to put apostrophes into a CSV file to fix all that, but it should not be necessary.

Almost all Microsoft programs try to be helpful and in almost every case the "help" ends up creating more work than it saves.

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Ancient radioactive tree rings could rip up the history books

DJO

Re: "Amazing! New! Wrongco Proxy Crock!" at CanadaFreePress

Carbon-14 comes from ionized Nitrogen-14

No it does not.

C14 decays into N14 not the other way around.

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GOP delegates suckered into connecting to insecure Wi-Fi hotspots

DJO

Re: Stating the bloody obvious

Really, I always thought they made CPU stress test software, the AV stuff is surely just a by product of winding the CPU up to 100%

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Science non-fiction: Newly spotted alien world bathes in glow of three stars

DJO

Re: Am I missing something?

You've not missed anything, just they've simplified things a bit.

Look up "barycentre"

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What a difference a year makes: ICO tele-spam fines break £2m barrier

DJO

Re: Go after the firms that are being advertised for

The problem with that is a company could set up advertising for its competitor in order to put them out of business. If done well it'd be hard to prove who instigated it and even then if the truth ever came to light the damage would be done.

Go after the directors of the companies providing the service, and nuke them from orbit.

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Woz says 'Jobs started Apple for money' – then says it must pay 50% tax like he does

DJO

Absolutely, If corporations are to enjoy the benefits of being "persons" then they should also have all the responsibilities of being "persons".

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Seagate's Kinetic drives: They're moving... but in what direction?

DJO

Yes, so?

So it's a network connected file system with multiple redundancies and it's own processing power for housekeeping. It's a fucking file server, perhaps a novel implementation but not exactly a new concept

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The Register to publish Mindful Sysadmin adult colouring book

DJO

Olof Larpi

That's a bit too much of a give-away isn't it?

6/10 - must try harder.

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Met plod commissioner: Fraud victims should not be refunded by banks

DJO

Backwards thinking from plod, so what's new

Make the banks punitively liable for any and all fraud.

The banks currently rather lax security would get strengthened as fast as it could be done and it would be kept up to date unlike the current mess.

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BBC telly tax drops onto telly-free households. Cough up, iPlayer fans

DJO

iPayer for iPlayer

There is no way that an user of iPlayer who does not watch live TV should have to pay the same amount as a TV using household.

There are many programs that never make it onto iPlayer due to licensing issues.

A reduced rate, say 50% would seem appropriate and proportional.

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BOFH: This laptop has ceased to be. And it's pub o'clock soon

DJO

Re: Quibblage

More like the Pauli Exclusion Laptop, no two laptops can ever be in the same state.

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Carolina cop cuffed for 'carjacking'

DJO

warped values

Having a quiet wank - 10 years.

Fatally shoot an unarmed (non-Caucasian) kid - promotion or at worst a minor ticking off.

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German Chancellor fires hydrogen plasma with the push of a button

DJO

Re: That's Bundeskanzlerin Frau Doktor Angela Merkel to you

You're right, the country has lost its quaint character since Thatcher defeated the unions. No longer are homes lit by candle-light for half of the week.

Before Thatcher it took one average salary to be able to afford to buy one average house, after Thatcher it took 4 to 5 average salaries to be able to afford one average house. The knock-on effect of house price inflation is felt throughout the economy and Thatcher was almost completely responsible for it. (She allowed Building Societies to run Estate Agencies which was previously not allowed due to the obvious conflict of interest, this caused the first rocketing of house prices)

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DJO

Re: That's Bundeskanzlerin Frau Doktor Angela Merkel to you

Why do we never get a politician with a decent education?

We had one who was an industrial chemist and we're still suffering from the damage she caused.

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Ban internet anonymity – says US Homeland Security official

DJO

Platitudes - geddit

A great idea, for the crooks.

To push the car-plate analogy it's a good thing no criminal ever worked out how to use false plates on a vehicle involved in a crime.

Enforce this and it would be circumvented in minutes while wasting millions of pounds/dollars/euros to introduce.

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Fans demand 'Lemmium' periodic table tribute

DJO

Re: Elementary Elements

"don't like Zappa"

Does not compute. I understand each work but together they are nonsense.

Incidentally I should have excluded Keith Moon from my statement about stage & private personae, as he was the exception to just about every rule going.

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DJO

Re: Elementary Elements

Ho hum, I suppose the down voters never met the man.

Rule one of Rock & Roll - Stage persona and real persona are NEVER the same, for example Johnny Rotten in the height of the Punk era was a really nice, self-effacing and polite chap.

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DJO

Elementary Elements

If names after musicians is to be considered then Zappanium must be the first. Please not Lemmy: The only biker who never owned a bike!

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Electrician cuts wrong wire and downs 25,000 square foot data centre

DJO

To a boss "1:100" sounds fine, try saying "3.6 days of complete outage per year" and see if he is so sanguine.

It's not what you say, it's how you say it that matters and directors need baby talk because complicated things like percentages are often beyond their comprehension.

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Short weekend break: Skegness or exoplanet HD 189733b?

DJO

If you think Skegness is bad, don't visit the Isle of Sheppy.

Just don't.

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Doctor Who's good/bad duality, war futility tale in The Zygon Inversion fails to fizz

DJO

Thunderbird 1 has a sensor which tells Scott when his ship is being secretly filmed

Why not? A laser spinning should be able to get distinctive reflections from the curvature of a lens pointed in its direction, it might even be able work out if it was filming from the slight vibration detectable in the reflection.

I'm saying that in theory it might be possible, not that it is actually possible but sufficiently so for Scott Tracy.

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DJO

Re: Best line...

Nahhh! Best line of the series was in this episode:

"I'm old enough to be your messiah!"

He's not a messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller special: The WHO bacon sarnie of death

DJO

Details.

Have you any idea how hard it is to source Potassium Nitrate these days?

Incidentally this dish is best served on a depleted uranium plate. If you can't get Asbestos for the garnish, a light dusting of ricin is generally acceptable.

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Bacon can kill: Official

DJO

As sung by Joe Jackson in 1982

No caffeine

No protein

No booze or Nicotine

Remember –

Everything

Everything gives you cancer

Everything

Everything gives you cancer

There's no cure, there's no answer

Everything gives you cancer

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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

DJO

The drive is really tiny, the encryption is great however the iris recognition hardware is a bit on the cumbersome side.

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So just what is the third Great Invention of all time?

DJO

Top 3

1: The Lever

2: The Wheel

3: The Still

You need a lever to get the still into position, a wheel for a cart to carry the ingredients in and the finished product whisky/vodka/calvados/whatever away.

There really is little need for anything else.

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Doctor Who's Under the Lake splits Reg scribes: This Alien homage thing – good or bad?

DJO

Re: Dematerialised over the shark ?

The thing that bothered me about the glasses, is that they continued to work in the Faraday cage.

Why shouldn't they? A Faraday cage electrically isolates the inside from the outside, an electronic item will work as well inside as outside if it is self-contained and does not need any signals from external systems.

If electrical systems failed inside a Faraday cage them people would die on entry as life is basically an electrical system.

EDIT: If he was broadcasting WiFi or similar from inside the cage then that is silly and would plainly not work.

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Share-crazy millennials spaff passwords ALL OVER the workplace

DJO

Post it notes

In the majority of cases if a naughty person has physical access to your PC and any Post-It notes attached, then the password is the least of your worries.

Password security on-line is critical, strong passwords are important, having your password written on the back on an envelope in your desk drawer is not really that much of a security risk unless you work somewhere with open public access.

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Atlantis: The DSSD, data centre disk killer rising from the deep

DJO

DSSD?

As I recall DSSD refers to Double Sided Single Density floppies, around 720k, can't see them being much use these days.

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Vaio returns from the dead wearing sharper suit, bolts in neck

DJO

Re: Re:

Got an iPod too, never use it. The Vaio is easier to control across a network and has a slightly larger display that can be seen across a room and has more storage.

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DJO

Still got one chuntering away as a dedicated flac player, great little machine.

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Apple: Samsung ripped off our phone patent! USPTO: What patent?

DJO

Prior, prior art

If anybody's interested the Apple Newton (from 1987) had rounded corners.

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Mozilla testing very private browsing mode

DJO

Good thinking, Advertisers

"Plenty of advertising outfits rely on tracking and analytics services, so are not thrilled with Mozilla's plans as it's already no picnic turning a quid online."

Right so they think that if I set up my system to exclude adverts, if they manage to get one through then I'll rush to spend all my money with them while obviously in reality if an advert gets through my reaction is far more towards "I'll never ever buy a thing from these stupid bastards".

How come they haven't worked that out yet? Do they understand the word "Counterproductive"?

I realise they need to get information about their services or products out into the wild but forcing it down the throats of disinterested consumers is pretty dumb.

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Two weeks of Windows 10: Just how is Microsoft doing?

DJO

Re: Just a reminder

"I'm staying on 7. That thing is rock solid."

For given values of "rock" and "solid"

Alas it seems the upgrade is not available to users of Windows 7 Enterprise and as I control the software library where I work, guess which version I run at home, never mind I got a copy of W10 for the library but there is no way I'm installing it on my home PC until at least SP1.

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Samsung says micro-sats could blanket the world with Internet

DJO

More stuff in LEO, great idea.

Kessler syndrome:

"A scenario in which the density of objects in low Earth orbit (LEO) is high enough that collisions between objects could cause a cascade—each collision generating space debris that increases the likelihood of further collisions"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kessler_syndrome

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Put it away: Dwarf's 'supermassive' marvel is actually smallest thing boffins have ever seen

DJO

In theory if they do exist they would evaporate almost instantly.

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A close shave: How to destroy your hard drives without burning down the data centre

DJO
Mushroom

Shakes head in despair

Two pages of comments and nobody has so far said:

"Nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure"

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AIDS? Ebola? Nah – ELECTRO SMOG is our 'biggest problem', says Noel Edmonds

DJO

Wimp

I remember a very long time ago I was at a party where a young Noel Edmonds was being very self-important in the kitchen, until the police turned up (actually just to get the music turned down a bit).

Me Blobby was out into the garden and over the fence before you could say "Daily Mail Expose" - As were a lot of naughty persons in the front room who left their bits & bobs behind, so I helpfully tidied up and was stoned for a week.

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Epson: Cheap printers, expensive ink? Let's turn that upside down

DJO

Oh really

and in some cases it's cheaper to buy a new printer for $50 rather than replace all the damn cartridges.

This is really bad advice as the cartridges in new machines are never more than half full, more often about 1/3rd full.

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UK's first 'DIY DAB' multiplex goes live in Brighton

DJO

Re: Was the picture necessary?

Brighton has a beach, although not a sandy one

Plenty of sand at the sea line when the tide is out.

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And on that bombshell: Top Gear's Clarkson to reappear on Amazon

DJO

Re: "smart TV. Ironic, isn't it?”

I'm sorry, I've been hitting the Lagavulin Brain Bleach in a probably vain attempt to dispel the mental images I conjured up.

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DJO

Re: "smart TV. Ironic, isn't it?”

For James I suspect "Smart TV" means wearing a nice tweed twinset with pearls.

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21st century malware found in Jane Austen's 19th century prose

DJO

Re: Hygiene?

You cannot have both Flash & good hygiene as the first hygienic act is to delete everything from Adobe.

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Three Estonians jailed for malware spree that infected 4 MILLION computers

DJO

Re: Pah

Prosecutors always massively overestimate the haul of any crime, these poor lambs might have only have a million or 2 each when they get out in around 18 months.

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NASA: 'Closest thing yet to ANOTHER EARTH' - FOUND

DJO

Re: [...] science being right and religion being bunkus

"Religion is not "bunkus", it is a necessary tool in the construction of a society that is not based on you-got-what-I-want-give-it-or-I-kill-you."

Religion is bunk, but that's not to say it doesn't have a useful function in developing a society when there are many unanswered questions.

Religion is no longer necessary as we now have answers to most of the questions religion used to provide (incorrect) answers to.

That's not to say all the answers we have now are all correct but they are more correct than those supplied by religion and they allow for development while those in religion are static and dogmatic.

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Nigerian prince swaps the sweet talk for keyloggers and exploits

DJO

Make the banks financially liable for any fraudulent transactions and the loopholes and vulnerabilities in the banking system would get closed pretty much overnight. As long as the banks are earning money from this sort of fraud (transfer fees) it'll never stop.

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You Musk be joking: Tesla's zero to 60MPH in 2.8 SECONDS is literally 'ludicrous'

DJO

Re: Also hope it comes with ludicrous brakes and something better than the human 0.25 sec response.

if the human is being squashed into her seat by 3 g's of acceleration

Where do you get 3G from? 0 to 60 in 2,8 seconds gives acceleration of 0.97682986G (This is the average over the 2.8 seconds, obviously the peak will be a bit higher)

I'm reasonably certain people can sustain a force of about 1G for quite a long time.

The distance covered in the 2.8 seconds is 37.55 metres.

a = (v - u)/t

a = acceleration (ms-2)

v = final speed (m/s)

u = initial speed (m/s)

t = time taken (sec)

1G = 9.80665 ms-2

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Space Station 'nauts dive for cover from flying Soviet junk

DJO

Re: I've wondered about this every time they have had to dive into the lifeboat....

That's not quite right. The ISS is in a roughly circular orbit, but an object in a highly elliptical orbit...

Absolutely correct, however that is a remote possibility while object impacting from the front with a high closing velocity are far more likely to present a problem. Given the low orbit the ISS occupies and the location of most orbital crud (higher than the ISS) by far the safest place to put the escape capsule is at the back of the craft, having at the back also means that pushing it away from the ISS would slow it down a bit so it could make an easier return to the Earth.

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DJO

Re: I've wondered about this every time they have had to dive into the lifeboat....

Basically the ISS could be hit from any direction

Not from behind, any (unpowered) object in the same orbit will be moving at the same speed, if it's at a different speed it'll either gain or lose altitude until it's in a stable orbit, in extreme cases it'll escape or decay and burn up.

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