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* Posts by Powernumpty

272 posts • joined 25 Sep 2011

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iPhone sales set to PLUMMET: Bleak times ahead for Apple

Powernumpty
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Re: Even the regular 6 is too big

Why can't you chose 5-left or 5-right on the interface so the layout is like the smaller screen but shifted towards your preferred thumb?

Normal for general use but (for example) three taps across the screen towards the preferred side shrinks the input area or at least presents one better laid out for one thumb operation.

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BOFH: WHERE did this 'fax-enabled' printer UPGRADE come from?

Powernumpty
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Been there

Multifunction X, just would not fricking work, any driver and OS first tried, after a very long time I discovered that all the common drivers print postscript and as the company accounts had haggled on the price (well office manager had anyway) the suppliers had removed the postscript option.

Later I decided it was just too stupid to have it fail if anyone looked at updating the driver so I found the details of the upgrade to postscript, had the part number etc. and asked for a price in UK. X told me it does not exist, there is no driver upgrade to PS.

I said what about this part number, what is this? Ooooh that is a postscript upgrade for your printer.

The give away to me about printers is the salesmen (for they are mostly men it seems) they move around, one even admitted it was quite an incestuous industry, I asked him if it would have been honest to have sold us the last brand he was selling as the best option for us, he looked genuinely trapped.

On the other had the X brand engineer who last visited did a cracking job, he even fixed an out-of-warranty printer too, that's the second time they have done that where the design was a bit weak in one part.

Just the sales people, live on small margins, driven from the top no doubt.

Margins +

Honesty

For some reason I can't get them on the same line.

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Yahoo! blames! MONSTER! email! OUTAGE! on! CUT! CABLE! bungle!

Powernumpty
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O Rly

"The issues were a result of an underwater fiber cable cut, caused by a third party while fixing a separate cable."

Wow what are the chances eh? really unfortunate sequence of events, well I hope the decoy ship is in place and the splices tested soon.

Pushes tinfoil hat back to see screen better.

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Renewable energy 'simply WON'T WORK': Top Google engineers

Powernumpty
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Thank you I read most of those comments (almost a first)

The thing that I struggle with, people and lack of effective sticks.

Talking to an engineer in the workplace, tap running behind him, steam coming off the stream of water between the tap and plughole. I say you've left the tap running, he laughs and says yes I'm always doing that and contiunues his conversation ignoring it.

For f**k sake don't ignore it! don't laugh and ignore energy waste, I had to walk over and turn it off myself genuinly appaled at the lack of respect for energy use and the planet.

I see screens left on all night while some test kit is running (here's a tip guys, the thing will still run with the screen off). I see the aircon set to heat so that the guys can sit in summer clothing. So after all this talk unless we have some stick to beat some sense into us ignorant first worlders most of it will be pissing up a wall.

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All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing

Powernumpty
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Be part of the push

For regular bus services in the west.

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Bang! You're dead. Who gets your email, iTunes and Facebook?

Powernumpty
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Dead man's Flickr

I wondered if it was worth dumping all those "well taken but not very interesting yet" photo's into a Flickr account and setting it to "attribution open licence on death".

Snaps that show the local area or people that may in fifty years time be of interest. As storage has some cost maybe if a DMF had not been twitched for a few years it could go the way of all ithings, but if people access or link to the images it gets protected from the grim wiper.

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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Powernumpty
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Long pswd

A cheap security DVR I use limits username and password complexity, I can't think why.

It also expects to use UPNP, and has a helpful DDNS entry (not able to be removed) waiting to stream data on a known address as soon as you show it a net connection.

I really am surprised this sort of thing has not got wider exposure before.

Hey don't pull that face it's just a comment!

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Patch NOW! Microsoft slings emergency bug fix at Windows admins

Powernumpty
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Have belief, you'll feel better.

Those who hold on to the belief they are safe running "Fully patched MS" OS at least have the belief thing, it does not factually change a thing but hey warm and cosy for a while eh.

For anyone who thinks these security exploits (All OS's now) don't get out before the patches, watch your web facing logs, they are like a weather forecast.

Oh I can see some storms on the horizon, new CMS maybe, SSL VPN is that?...

On one of the last MS exploits I got about 350 emails in a morning sent to a couple of addresses that exist only on spam and "prospective zombie" lists, 10 got through to the catch-all holding address the rest bounced due to Linux based filtering on sender trust, checked the links and at the time they looked clean (virustotal), once the patch had rolled out lo and behold the links turns out to have been bad.

Do your best and remember you are more likely to be hit by some idiot in the company with a bad USB stick (for example) than someone clever enough to get past the firewall. Happy days.

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THERE it is! Philae comet lander FOUND in EXISTING Rosetta PICS

Powernumpty
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Should have included some buttered toast on the feet

To make sure it landed the right way up and had some chance of sticking, amateurs!

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Rosetta probot drilling DENIED: Philae has its 'LEG in the AIR'

Powernumpty
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I wonder if,

They could PWM the drill in such a way that the acceleration/deceleration is enough to put a minute turning moment into the craft?

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MOULDY DICK: France aims to snatch EXPLODING WHALE crown from U.S.

Powernumpty
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This calls for my patented Scaffold pole gun.

Hollow sharpened tube to the guts from a distance, cheap and nasty deflation canon.

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Annus HORRIBILIS for TLS! ALL the bigguns now officially pwned in 2014

Powernumpty
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Facepalm

Don't bash it.

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of MS users busily running down open source, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."

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Mystery Google barges TORPEDOED by US govt: Showrooms declared death traps

Powernumpty
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Trollface

Oh Noes! Will have to find another use for them.

Temporary containment for Ebola, Immigrants, Aliens.

If only those who did the procurement could have seen it coming eh.

FEMA hospitality suite is my bet.

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Microsoft warns of super-sized Patch Tuesday next week

Powernumpty
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Don't talk to the IT guy

It's that time of the month (rolls eyes).

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HP emails personal data of 1,000 CDS workers to 3rd party

Powernumpty
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Facepalm

Can't help thinking

Hitting the send button was only the cherry on the icing on this fail cake.

Personal details, unencrypted, email...

Better not blame the person that did it, blame the management structure that allowed the option.

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REVEALED: Apple fanbois are 'MENTALLY UNSTABLE' - iShop staff

Powernumpty
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Premium products can be good.

When faced with a customer with “Maximum” £X to spend I would shown them Item

1 one at X-20%,

2 one at X+5%

and while doing so move an X+30-50% item out of the way.

Often the customer would ask about the last one and I would politely tell them they could not have that one, out of budget, back to numbers 1. and 2.

I hate pushy sales and dishonesty so it genuinely confused me and made me just wrong to find the customers who stumped up for the one they “could not have” would come back next time to buy from us.

The cheap one you won't respect, it will be thrown into the glove box or fall out of your pocket.

The one you could barely afford will remind you how you should have tried harder at school, you will notice the irritating little faults

The one you really pushed the boat out for will be protected and cherished in a way that justifies the expenditure, you may overlook the small faults and feel rewarded by the imbued quality of the next step up on the consumerist ladder.

Not justifying it, an observation over a few years.

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Virgin Galactic vows to continue space program after 'serious anomaly'

Powernumpty
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No video out there, these days?

I just wanted to check it wasn't taken out by some ground system for entering controlled airspace with a full shampoo bottle.

In the real world - Sympathies to the families of those pilots, fast recovery to the guy who got out.

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Trolls pop malformed heads above bridge to sling abuse at Tim Cook

Powernumpty
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Why proud, confident or assured maybe?

As someone that has been employed as an "assumed gay"

(because I had worked somewhere before that had a positive inclusion policy).

The one thing that I never quite got was the "making a song and dance about it" (pun partly intended).

I'm not "Proud to be hetro" it's just what is.

So when a gathering of the otherwise inclined turned into a camp circus (this was 80's/90's) I didn't see it as any better than a rugby team being all overwhelmingly blokey out on a Saturday night.

In work I'm not proud about any part of my private sexuality, because it's the workplace.

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DR LIPS warns: DON'T KISS that NEWT - it's got FLESH-EATING PLAGUE

Powernumpty
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Stop

I see 5 Series BMW's parked outside exotic pet shops.

Those pets that could pose a lethal threat to Great Crested Newts, do you have any?

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Bad dog: Redmond's new IE tool KILLS POODLE with one shot

Powernumpty
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Trollface

Might try this

If someone can remind me how to fire up IE.

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Caption this: CERN needs pic tags. Serious answers only, kids

Powernumpty
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Re: It's a trap

Ah Frank ly we meet again, btw I have upvoted your next post.

Strange how the little coincidences happen, that thing in your garden, think nothing of it, pure chance.

OCD is indeed important to time travel.

OCD, a fear of being in front of camera's and a strong interest in contraception, the detail is important.

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Powernumpty
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Alien

It's a trap

Most time travellers you meet are a bit OCD, if I, er er they, saw a bunch of photo's they could identify they, would find it near impossible to not correct the captions and by doing so disclose their existance.

Cern nice try.

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COMET 67P is basically TRAILING a HORRIFIC STENCH through space

Powernumpty
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Enable Jack Russell mode

Whip round the back and sniff under it's tail.

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Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING

Powernumpty
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Are they sure the goats they are staring at

are not just further away?

I should have been a scientist.

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Microsoft EU warns: If you have ties to the US, Feds can get your data

Powernumpty
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I so want to believe

That the outcome to this spat will have some material affect on what the US governement considers it should have open access to.

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Google+ goes TITSUP. But WHO knew? How long? Anyone ... Hello ...

Powernumpty
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Re: Titsup

Oh noes, with the whole "being a gentleman thing we're not meant to look" so this conversation has touched on the whole Schrödinger's tits paradox.

How does one know if they are up or down without affecting their existance.

This is why I love the Reg, ideas never I knew I could have.

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MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less

Powernumpty
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Testosterone may not help the trip

I believe it lowers immunity and increases fuel burn. There are many things needed for a successful trip to Mars, a willy is perhaps not one of them.

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Routine WHAT NOW? Bank of England’s CHAPS payment system goes TITSUP

Powernumpty
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Re: Accident?

Of course it was an accident, but that doesn't mean we should throw away the valuable information gathered by the "financial disaster preparedness monitoring software", installed the day before the accident.

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A drone of one's own: Reg buyers' guide for UAV fanciers

Powernumpty
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Re: For kids - gyro stabilised small quadcopters

Second that.

The little Hubsan (non camera experience only) is fantastic for teaching things like orientation coordination and the general physics of a quad. If you can fly one to the extremes of it's control range you will either have eyes of a hawk or develop the ability to recognise orientation by flight path, something that could save your bacon in a "fancy quad" GPS failure. When you crash (even convincingly) it's inexpensive to replace bits so you can get on learning straight away. They look like a toy but what is learnt translates well to bigger devices, even other types of vehicle. I had an X4 then got a RC plane, result few problem with controls being reversed or gusts of wind as that is taught at the £30 quad level. If you are one of the many who buy a Phantom at least try Heli-X with the wind set to blow and gusty, to learn control it in the real world well before taking a flying (plastic blade) blender to your mates wedding.

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Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!

Powernumpty
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DR policy

Backup media multiple off site (complete)

Material for regeneration of workforce. (almost complete)

New host planet (in negotiation)

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Forget passwords, let's use SELFIES, says Obama's cyber tsar

Powernumpty
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Black Helicopters

Nothing sinister here

We obviously need a decent enough photo of you for the security to be strong.

Retinal scans can also help, maybe even a bit of DNA, in fact you guys spitting at the cameras in the lifts, thanks.

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Facebook storage techies: We sift through your family snaps to find 'warm BLOBs'

Powernumpty
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Re: @ravenviz

Hoisted by your own pedant

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Lies, damn pies and obesity statistics: We're NOT a nation of fatties

Powernumpty
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Hunter gatherer much

Back in the day if you wanted to eat a mountainside of strawberries you’d have to climb a mountainside. Somewhere on that track you might realise your hunger was satiated and stop.

Now you could eat a complete mountain of strawberries, from your settee with the TV on, being so engrossed in the program and frequent adverts you even miss the “not-so-hungry-now“ signals and eat to the end of the serving/bag/plate/pack.

If you wanted to eat meat you'd probably have to wait a while, run like buggery for a bit or exchange work for those who did.

Now you might have to reach over to the phone.

Rename cars daibetes boxes, and cycling/walking "effort commuting" it will begin to make sense.

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Best Buy preps for a Hero4 welcome just in time for Christmas

Powernumpty
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Selfie stick with your 4?

I think Douglas Adams would have had something to say about the arrival of that device.

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IRONY ALERT: Former MI6 chief warns of 'mass snooping' - by PAEDOS

Powernumpty
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Goodwins law needs revision

Subjects you are not meant to question.

Peado has become one of them, if you ask any question beyond the use of the word you obviously are one right?

You must not think! you must pick up a stick and get ready to beat the next person we point at and invoke the word.

KJP (Knee Jerk Phrases).

Keep thinking, keep wondering who has invoked a KJP "you must not think" phrase.

I think the general sexualisation of society with special mention for advertising is a far greater threat to our children than the fiddlers.

There are indeed many modern risks to a childs well being, we just don't get to hear much about those that might damage business income.

“Peados” I assume are not (officially) big party funders so that is a safe one to use.

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Yahoo!... Our Alibaba stake's worth BILLIONS. Oh – our shares are in the toilet

Powernumpty
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Maybe something is inverting it's value !

Can't think what !

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Le whoops! Microsoft France boss blows lid off 'Windows 9' event

Powernumpty
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@P.Lee

"but they also do add new cool features, such as an easy to use backup system"

Whereas MS take away backup features or hide under some Win7 file recovery "(we'd rather you didn't find it) link.

If I type "Backup" There is file history but the icon looks Metro so I just can find the energy to wait for it to launch or the doubtless bullshit thereafter.

I suppose it is meant to force people to use Sky drive or something but the contrast is there.

Apple "we'll include this people might like it"

MS "we'll hide this people like it"

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Oh God the RUBBER on my SHAFT has gone wrong and is STICKING to things

Powernumpty
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Sun tan lotion

I used to sell binoculars and cameras, something in suntan lotion accelerates the demise of rubber coated technical goods.

To be exact I used to work sell and repairing cameras and binoculars on the coast, the issue is less apparent in the winter.

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'Kim Kardashian snaps naked selfies with a BLACKBERRY'. *Twitterati gasps*

Powernumpty
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Maybe a reflection

on modern sensibilities that it was considered more comment-worthy that she used a Blackberry than the security or privacy side of the event.

Somehow I feel these twittering fashionistas get what they deserve.

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Drones CAN'T deliver goods ... oh. Air traffic control system backed by NASA, you say?

Powernumpty
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Re: What about

It's that sort of lateral thinking that I see as the way forward.

Too much of this discussion is black and white Van v Drone where the aerial vehicle is (justifiably) seen as unable to replace the Van in it's current use.

UAVs are not Vans and trying to replace one with the other is too simple a viewpoint.

The UAV bit is only part of the delivery chain, maybe lorries will pass through local set off points and automated systems pick and dispatch from motorway service stations.

The flight corridor should not be insurmountable if the various legs of the system are tailored to the transport vehicle's strength, move three tonne on direct M-way route, that will be a truck, 150g medicine across three miles of unclassified roads, UAV, but ONLY for the air-efficient leg.

Have the traffic control and some pathways from mobile phone masts, have mesh corridors and crash zones so that if the system goes down the UAV's head to farmer Giles back meadow (the one he's paid UAVSA for) or the local sewage treatment works, better to recover the bits from some sh!t than hit a school.

It's coming and many can see it evolving, others say there will always be vans just like messenger boys.

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Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM

Powernumpty
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Re: I want to know

Not to forget drivers supplied with printers now (looking at you HP) are larger than the OS disk from Doom's day.

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'Windows 9' LEAK: Microsoft's playing catchup with Linux

Powernumpty
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Alt Pin, Ctrl Pin

Did anyone else when watching the time consuming "Pin to Start", resize, juggle dance want to see an option to "pin at X size" Maybe not another drop down level but perhaps pin to command while Alt held or some other key combination to pin small.

Same with pin anywhere, if I am going to use the thing I want to be able to select five things at one go, Pin to start, size small.

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City hidden beneath England's Stonehenge had HUMAN ABATTOIR. And a pub

Powernumpty
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I think I know

Yeah it's all very good guys, and some of those stones are pretty big but it's all bit blocky.

Me and my mates who did Gobekli Tepe made an effort, now that is what I call a stone circle.

These are all right and will probably last for a while but they are not very pretty are they, where's your animals, fancy carving and stuff?

---

Early monumental one-upmanship lead to an unfortunate end for some travellers around Salisbury.

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Heavy VPN users are probably pirates, says BBC

Powernumpty
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Other curve

<smug>

With increasing TV consumption is there not a decrease in critical faculty? Those considered most attracted to the VPN use are also least able to facilitate it.

</smug>

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China is now 99.8% sure you're you, thanks to world's-best facial recognition wares

Powernumpty
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Triple punishment

I can see it here.

After use of the latest technology, extensive police investigation and brave witness testimony, we have identified him from biometric data and DNA, we are 100% sure he is the one responsible for a range of misdemeanour’s.

He has been proven guilty in a court of law and now waits his punishment.

Mr Blogs as you are an illegal immigrant who is working in the dark economy paying no taxes and observing no laws I am forced to pass on you the highest penalty open to this court.

Tsk, tsk ,tsk!

Now on your way.

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Chelyabinsk-sized SURPRISE asteroid to skim Earth, satnav birds

Powernumpty
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Facepalm

I wonder,

just how big impact would be needed to surpass man's own global extinction of species?

They might have seen us coming but we had such a mass of hubris they could not deflect us.

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Look out, world! Space Station satellite cannon has A MIND OF ITS OWN

Powernumpty
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Oh I'm really sorry,

That hasn't happend before.

"There is plenty of time, we have all these, lets see if we can do better next time eh."

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Finally, a USEFUL smart device: Intel boffins cook up gyro-magneto-'puter bike helmet

Powernumpty
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Re: Battery life

On detecting low battery the music switches to heavy metal to activate the kinetic charging.

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Data entry REAR-END SNAFU: Weighty ballsup leads to plane take-off flap

Powernumpty
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Alert

Call to all passengers

Do we have any real lard arses on the plane who can still walk?

If so please make yourself known to the ballast steward.

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Video: Dyson unveils ROBOTIC TANK that hoovers while you're out

Powernumpty
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I'm sorry

but if the 360 camera is not IP enabled and we can't have a "Some perv hacked my hoover" Daily Fail story then I'm not interested.

"I could not work out why it was always cleaning the bathroom when I was in the shower or doing my spray tan" 23 year old Alesha (picture below) from Rayleigh explained. “I would not have minded but it was really wearing my rug out”.

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