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* Posts by Northern Fop

108 posts • joined 22 Sep 2011

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Airport bomb Twitter joker in second fine appeal bid

Northern Fop
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Good luck to him

Maybe sense will prevail.

Ooooo!! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No. A pig.

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Google Wallet PIN security cracked in seconds

Northern Fop
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Facepalm

Ahhh, Google

Stick to advertising, eh.

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Greenpeace releases meaningless 'Cool IT' rankings

Northern Fop
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Happy

@Mr Patrick

I think you need to light a joss stick, put on some whale song, eat a nice lentil salad and chill out.

Man.

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US tweet deportation: Chilling behind-the-scenes photos

Northern Fop
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Headmaster

Perhaps

But no more than your post needs a: may offend those who know how to use a comma.

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Steve Jobs sighted in Taiwan flogging Android tablets

Northern Fop
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Coat

Danish Cartoons Mk.2

Aieeeeeeeeee!! Burn the infidels!!! How dare you portray his holiness's likeness!!!

*cut to scene of confused iFans burning a Galaxy Tab*

Etc.

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Apple iPad beats Amazon Kindle Fire in satisfaction survey

Northern Fop
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Holmes

meh

The headline should have been:

Customers with 2nd generation product with umpteen software updates happier than customers with first generation product with no significant updates SHOCKER.

But shorter.

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Cray shrinks XE6m supers down to a rack

Northern Fop
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Yup

Cumbria. I might just be that my dad used it a lot though, the more I think about it. Although he was from the wrong side of the Pennines too in N. Yorks).

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Northern Fop
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Scads..

It's used pretty widely in blighty too (or at least it is oop north)

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French court lays le smackdown on Google Maps

Northern Fop
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Did Microsoft get fined for providing IE free?

It was seen as unfair behaviour, meaning that Windows must offer you a choice of browsers. It just so happens that the competition is free too.

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Final Fantasy XIII-2

Northern Fop
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Unhappy

FF7

It all went down hill after this.

Not quickly downhill mind you, but pretty inexorably.

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Boffins out earbuds that sound right when inserted wrong

Northern Fop
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Facepalm

Dearie me

That one was old when god was a teenager :)

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JEDI alliance: Jellyfish overlords won't rule Earth after all

Northern Fop
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Black Helicopters

So a bit like Global Warming, but with invertebrates

Scientist A: Aiiiiieeeee, we're doomed.

Scientist B: This is normal. Calm the f*ck down.

Joe Public: Huh?

(to be fair, with AGW it's scientists A-J saying 'doomed'; K-X saying 'we need to worry about this'; and Scientists Y&Z saying 'drill, baby, drill')

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New forum Wishlist

Northern Fop
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Alert

I just downvoted this because...

...you're a clueless idiot.

Now, I don't really think this at all, but I think putting in reasons for downvotes would lead to flame-wars and feuds. This might be occasionally entertaining but on the whole i think the downsides outweigh the upsides.

The iFan/iHate wars, the browser wars, and the OS wars are painful enough as it is :)

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Northern Fop
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Upgrading

How does it work? Why create two classes of user at all?

And thanks for the boost upgrade.

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Northern Fop
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One more thing

(where have I heard that before)

why doesn't the post appear after posting - i need to refresh to see my finely crafted (if HTML deficient) comments, after i press the submit button.

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Northern Fop
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Megaphone

What he said

I don't need no <i>steenking</i> confirmation.

Plus - blockquote tags would be <b>super spiffy</b>, especially for users who don't display as threaded.

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Just trying this out

Northern Fop
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Unhappy

Well, poo

I am a second-class citizen :(

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Northern Fop
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Testing 1, 2, 1, 2, 2, 2

<b>Is this bold?</b>

<i>is this italic?</i>

<a href="http://awkwardedmilibandmoments.tumblr.com">is this amusing?</a>

<u>is this underlined?</u>

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The Register Comments Guidelines, 2012

Northern Fop
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Stop

Commenter?

I am a COMMENTARD, and will accept no alternative!!

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RIM restyles next-generation BlackBerry

Northern Fop
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is it me?

Or does the screen look a bit lost in the middle of a big phone? They made that mistake with the Playbook and it's ludicrous foot-wide bezel.

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Mozilla releases Firefox 10, adds developer tools

Northern Fop
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Stop

Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

Maybe you're the only one with that problem.

Maybe they couldn't replicate it.

Maybe they've got 100 more important issues causing grief for 1,000s of people.

Maybe, just maybe, the World doesn't revolve around you and your problems.

We need a STFU icon.

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iPads propel Apple to PC market top slot

Northern Fop
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Stop

"Client computer market would have shrunk without tablets"

So....people bought iPads (and other tablets) *instead* of a laptop or desktop. That's what you're trying to say, no?

In other news, moon not made of cheese.

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Brit pair deported from US for 'destroy America' tweet

Northern Fop
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Facepalm

Oh yeah, you're right

Robin Hood airport, not Liverpool.

Still, both associated with theiving :)

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Northern Fop
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Stop

To the Merkin Bashers

Remember that this is the country that cost a guy his job and a whole heap of money for making a joke about Liverpool airport on Twitter.

Both cases are obviously *stupid* over-reactions by humourless bureaucratic f*ckwits, but pointing and laughing at our colonial cousins smacks of pots and kettles to me...

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Boffins make graphene micro-distillery

Northern Fop
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Alert

"It's being hailed as the answer to almost all tech problems"

So, this year's carbon nanotubes then...

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New Earth-observing satellite snaps 'blue marble' shot

Northern Fop
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Trollface

I can see my house!

Not really.

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Apple takes smartphone lead

Northern Fop
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Holmes

Moving goal posts

Used to a time where you measured one companies products against another. IBM sold X boxes, Gateway sold Y boxes, Apple sold Z boxes. The fact that the first two ran the same OS wasn't really part of the headline.

Yet now Apple is so dominant in the smartphone sector the only reasonable comparison is to compare them against the mulititude of companies offering Android devices. These aren't small business's either - Samsing, HTC, Motorola, et al are all giant, multi-billion dollar enterprises. Yet Apple still has close to half the global market, and the only meaningful measure is to compare them against all the rest combined (fast-sinking ships like RIM and Nokia excepted). Amazing.

(btw, before I get called a fanboi, I don't like Apple, and I don't own a single Apple product, but I think they're a remarkable company)

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Shatner faces final frontier as Priceline.com spokesman

Northern Fop
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Mushroom

TJ Hooker = Heather Locklear

Not in ANY WAY "best-forgotten".

Fool.

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Laser used to cool semiconductor

Northern Fop
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Trollface

Ouch!!

That's some serious SI pwnage

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Use iBooks Author, only Apple can ever publish the result

Northern Fop
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Devil

*Never* use an application called iPray

You'll lose your very soul...

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HP hawks huge 132in 'tablet'

Northern Fop
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Headmaster

I demand you return your icon

Octopus has a greek root, not a latin one, so Octopuses is right.

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Apple offers cash for old kit

Northern Fop
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Devil

An iFan-pleasing service

After all, no fruit fancier likes to feel as though they've got a *good* deal, do they?

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Steve Jobs action figure kicks the bucket

Northern Fop
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Trollface

Fools and their money

For the price they're asking on ebay, I'd expect his mummified corpse in a Swarovski encrusted display case, not a naff Action Man(TM) with specs.

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Experts: We're stuck with passwords – and maybe they're best

Northern Fop
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Coat

Good point

I guess they'd be relying on blind chance. Ba-dum-tish.

Anyone seen my hat?

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Microsoft de-cloaks Windows 8 push-button lifesaver

Northern Fop
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Just fat

But thanks for asking.

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Northern Fop
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Stop

You chose the right icon...

...but I'll bite.

95%+ of people who buy a computer swtich it on and use it, and run Windows. They save photos, and music, surf, and not much else. This feature will save a lot of pain and expense for that group when it all goes tits-up, which has to be a good thing (and it has the added bonus of desmuggifying people like you, with your fancy-pants partitions and OS's).

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Sleep Cycle

Northern Fop
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Facepalm

IT WILL FRY YOUR BRAIN!!

Ok, I think there's a lot of FUD out there about electrosensitivity and mobiles causing cancer and all that rot. Nothing out there that's remotely persuasive, and certainly nothing that would stop me using or mobile, or lead me to take away my kids (yeah, like that would go down well).

BUT.

Do I really want a transmitter sat 6" from my head for 8 hours a day on top of my normal daily usage? I bet the mattress interferes with the signal (metal springs) and so the phone is more likely to be a higher output than normal too. Hmm, irrational or not, I really don't like the idea of that...

(icon of man whose brain is melting, natch)

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Brits got Kindles for Christmas

Northern Fop
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Angel

And yet...

...while sitting in the park under the biggest light source I know, a Kindle beats the pants off an iPhone.

I also find it easier to switch on a bedside light than switch off the sun, for some reason.

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Germans increase office efficiency with 'cloud ceiling'

Northern Fop
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Devil

Too expensive

Stick 'em in the car park, under some clear plastic sheeting.

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Laptop bags: 13- and 14-inchers

Northern Fop
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Mushroom

Grrr

As a Brit, sitting in an office in Britain, browsing a British site, it's f*cking annoying to hit the 'Buy from Amazon' button and end up looking at prices in dollars...

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Pop teen beats Steve Jobs in Google's 2011 popularity contest

Northern Fop
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Boffin

Fastest *rising* search terms

Rebecca Black going from zero to 10 million searches easily outperforms Steve going from 4 million to 10 million searches (numbers made up). If it was on percentage terms then the situation is even starker, obviously.

I'm sure Mr Jobs waa googled a lot through the whole year - so it's actually quite impressive he made the list at all.

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Brit PhD student excels in Pentagon digi-forensics challenge

Northern Fop
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WTF?

£2,000 of security training?

Er...shouldn't he be the one *giving* the training?

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Steve Jobs' last design: New Apple HQ pics

Northern Fop
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WTF?

Huh?

Apple products are purchased by deep-fried snacks, some of which are filled with jam? Not sure multi-touch was designed with that in mind.

But if you say so...

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Northern Fop
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Trollface

Nice try

But when it comes to 'rounded corners', Apple hold *all* the rights. Everywhere.

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ICO smacks Welsh council with record £130k fine

Northern Fop
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Megaphone

Yes and No

I agree that fining the council will only end up punishing the local taxpaper as services are cut to pay it.

I think jail is too harsh a response. But *surely*, for fucks sake, *at least* one person should be spending more time at the job centre than they were.

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Boffin's bot spots red light jumpers before they kill

Northern Fop
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Mushroom

This *is* the 21st century

Surely some sort of automated drone strike would be the right way to go.

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Headmaster freezes schoolkids for Gaia

Northern Fop
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Unhappy

1 Degree Celsius?

Luxury! When I were a lad we had.....oh I can't be bothered. Post xmas do malaise and all that. Pffff.

Plus charcoal, wood, neutral etc. Someone else can explain.

Urrrhhhhhhhhh, my head.

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Navy pays 2x purchase price to keep warship docked for 5 years

Northern Fop
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Alert

Yep, and...

You're also looking after a 250-year-old antique which is exposed to the elements, and is basically a pile of biodegradable material (wood) held together with other biodegradable material (more wood and some hemp ropes).

Not saying £16m is a *fair* price mind you, but Lewis's obvious dislike of all-things BAE has lead to a pretty biased article.

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Voyager probe reaches edge of Solar System's 'bubble'

Northern Fop
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Pint

Yep

Hat's off to the boffins at NASA.

And a beer from me. Nice one, chaps.

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2011's Best... E-book Readers

Northern Fop
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Stop

Browser, schmowser

Also worth mentioning that the browser is so shit as to be practically unusable, in my experience.

I do like the keyboard though...

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