68 posts • joined 20 Sep 2011
When you open the box there is a big red button. If you press it, someone you do not know will die and you will receive £1 million. Something to do with space aliens.
Re: Global Recession? Not so much
Uber-rich? No, we're, ahem, 'all in this together'.
Google slowly killing itself?
Maintaining ubiquity requires being everywhere all of the time. Google appears to be making itself increasingly less relevant in the desktop world. They already killed iGoogle homepage this month. They're making it easier and easier to live a Google-free life with each amputation.
Whilst XP and IE9 may not suit some admin-orientated readers from a security point of view, plenty of average Joe consumers are still happily running much older versions.
Why? Don't they make enough money already and pay bugger all tax anyway? What do they need even more cash for? They don't generate profits, they extract cash from active economies and hive it away in off-shore accounts. What 'good' does this do for the world?
... that I don't have any friends, phew!
At the sound of the siren...
...the giant glass revolving door opened and the Eloi marched forth into the store, powerless to resist.
Re: What about VAT?
VAT is paid by consumers, not businesses. It's a sales tax.
These large multinationals need to be taxed on the profits they make instead of being permitted to hive them off into tax havens with fake accounting practices. They are literally siphoning money out of our economies with impunity. To make it worse, our UK government further aids their profitability by topping up low wages with tax credits and housing benefits. I advocate at least sending large corporations invoices for tax credits paid to their employees simply in order to make ends meet. Either that, or put the minimum wage up to £15-20 per hour or something.
Most businesses expect to make too much profit. We're in a recession, but they continue to make high margins by raising prices and freezing wages. In their actions, they prolong the recession and compound the misery for anyone earning a living.
'at least' $200 is a good trade-in
Remember, Amerkins will have 'paid' either $99 or $199 for these phones two years ago, so getting what you 'paid' for a phone back as a trade-in credit looks like a good deal.
Re: "Ann Frank's drum kit"
Yes Andrew. For that corker, please step up and take a sweet from the jar.
(Feel free to continue the good work 'bigging up' the Lumia/WP proposition btw.)
Re: I feel like I have a stylish, niche product that sets me apart from the herd.
Little did you know that you'd be tinkering with Nokia Pro Cam on your own phone today!
But all Apple's products are so great, don't you just love them?
Jorma Ollila / Jolla
"in his strategy, Nokia would have to get much smaller before it got bigger."
Nokia didn't let go of their brand for smartphone manufacturing after the deal goes through in early 2014 and they will only be contractually restricted from manufacturing smartphones until 2015.
A few months from now, Nokia won't be able to make any profit building Lumias in the rapidly expanding low cost smartphone market (which is where the only growth is likely to come from for a fledgling OS) due to impending OS licence fees with Microsoft.
It could turn out that Nokia are the winners in this buyout deal, and we see new smartphones from them in just a few years time. Jolla are basically ex-Nokians backed with Nokia money, beavering away at Meego and new hardware. Plan B looks to be alive and kicking.
The question is, will anybody (other than geeks) be interested in a new smartphone from Nokia with an unknown operating system and no apps in two years' time, even if it can 'sort of' run Android apps?
Re: Patents & Nokia brand
Nokia is a good brand in the mobile arena...
...but only in the rest of the world
It means virtually nothing in the US, which is the only market which seems to matter to Ballmer & Elop. MS could quite conceivably drop the Nokia name on phones quite quickly. This would be a very bad move for the 'rest of the world' market.
Why does plastic make it 'cheaper'?
The cost of Apple devices usually has no direct link to the cost of parts and manufacturing, so why would a 'plastic' shell make a new phone model any better value? What we call a cheap phone could be as much as £300 sim-free in the Apple universe.
Apple would likely hobble a lower cost phone in some way so value in the full-fat models can be maintained.
I just knew...
..it would be Andrew O.
Keep it up. Single-handedly attempting to 'turn' the mass of El Reg towards the light, or the darkside depending on your faith.
So is this a manifestation of the third or sixth wave? You state the third in your article, but the car's learning abilities imply the sixth.
Re: New product?
I posted with my username not AC. It's humour, you eejits. I can see the queues forming outside the stores already.
I knock about with plenty of wealthy types that fill up on any new Apple gear without even considering what they'll be doing with it, or if they even need it. The previous years' models are languishing in the kids toyboxes. They buy a new car every year and throw out more food every week than you eat in a month. Despite peak Apple claims, there is a massive army of buyers out there willing and able to jump on anything they put out.
They could release shit flavoured lollypops and all those Apple worshipers would be sucking them all day long Kojak-style, bragging on how great they taste.
So, in the 1970's when we Britons were being chastised for generating acid rain from our industries and destroying all the forests in Scandinavia, we were actually helping hold back global warming.
Who new? We needn't have turned our economy to the financial services sector and consequentially allowed it to have an inadequate manufacturing base to cope with the current depression after all. Oh well.
I recall going through one of their tests, which was supposed to be measuring some level of education/intelligence or something, but quite a few of the multiple choice questions contained insufficient data to determine a correct answer with 100% certainty and the only appropriate response should have been 'Don't know'. Were they actually asking the subject to spot that these questions were nonsense, or were they just crap questions?
This isn't an actual question, just the kind of stuff they were asking:
It rained for one hour on Monday, two hours on Tuesday and four hours on Wednesday. How many hours will it rain on Thursday?
d. Don't know
Here's hoping the new XBox reveal is a bit more revealing than the recent boring, hardware-missing PS4 omnishambles.
My god! Those tracks in the Martian sand look exactly like a giant....
Johnson! Over here, take a look at this (and so on...)
Lambs to slaughter
1500 is a pretty low sample. How many were 'in contract' and how long before their phone was 'due for renewal' Amerkin style? These US consumers live in an entirely different world compared to the EU when it comes to mobile phones and contracts.
If their phone isn't due for renewal any time soon, they may not even be thinking about their options yet.
In all, this would seem to be a positive for Nokia and Blackberry because there appear to be a lot of floating voters. All you need do is bribe the carriers more than Apple/Samsung and you get sales come renewal.
Degree of difficulty to decode
The Reg posted a story a few years back highlighting research that found harder to read serif fonts resulted in better memory consolidation than san serif fonts. It concluded that if the brain was having to 'work harder' to decode the text, then it was better able to comprehend and remember the content.
Extrapolating from this research, it's reasonable to consider that students witnessing their old-skool lecturer's handwritten scrawlings gradually appear on the board are going to have to make an effort to read it and quite possibly be using their brain to anticipate what is being written. Both of these activities are likely to improve comprehension and recall.
Anything which gets these lazy powerpoint lecturers actually doing some work once in a while has to be a good thing. Lead by example.
Dude, the old Windows desktop is still there. Just hit the Windows key +D i.e. "Desktop mode"
Microsoft really need to point this out. What you think is probably the prevailing understanding of Windows 8. It's wrong.
Lack of Start button?
I offered my kids the low cost Win8 upgrade licence that came with my puny netbook which I bought last year and they turned it down because of the 'too different UI'. One of them uses a Nokia Lumia WinPhone. They like new things, usually.
They discovered the Windows key +D combination last week and are now kicking themselves.
Perhaps Microsoft DO need to point out that Windows 7 is still there, kinda. I think this will be putting a lot of people off. Average Joe Public doesn't think about walled gardens. The kids thought the Metro Start was 'too simple' and wouldn't offer them the flexibility of the familiar near twenty year old desktop experience.
I bet the software engineers envisaged the Win8 Start screen as an introductory bridge to the Metro UI, which was clearly designed for touchscreen devices, so that they could have the same look and feel across phones, tablets and PCs. The marketing people probably just decided to go all in for Metro and neglected to point out that Windows is still there for proper computers and real working environments.
Faddy, played out
This is like chocolate flavoured Philadelphia cheese spread.
What a complete pile of poo!
Potato instead of camera module
HTC will struggle to sell their flagship phones while they continue to fit potatoes instead of camera modules.
HTC's marketing department can claim what they like about their cameras, but year after year, the back to back tests show time and time again their imaging capability is utter shite.
On the positive side, at least the build quality on this new model might actually see out a two year contract for once.
Re: So if I had bought a Windows Phone 8 on day of issue  ...
Skimming through the version history for iOS, it would appear that the support/update cycle for any giver version, i.e. ios3, ios4, ios5, etc. is a little over one year with Apple too. If you bought an iPhone 4 on day of issue, Apple expected you to upgrade the OS to the next version as it was released and didn't continue to support the originally installed version beyond 13 months if you didn't bother to upgrade to iOS 5.
iOS 4, released 21/06/2010, end-of-lifed as iOS 4.3.5 25/07/2011
iOS 5, released 12/10/2011, end-of-lifed as iOS 5.1.1 25/05/2012
iOS 6, released 19/09/2012, probably not long to go now before final update released either
If iPhone users are getting on okay with 'roughly' annual major version upgrades, why is it not going to be okay for WP users? I think this WP update cycle story has spread around the 'net without due consideration and I expect to be reading an official statement from MS on this in the next few days.
If MS don't clear this mess up with a statement, they're idiots and deserve to have consumers thinking that their partners are selling phones with an unsupported, obsolete OS, like the stories try to implicate.
Re: All current handsets are supported and will be upgraded to WP9
Described by their own readers as 'bullshit FUD'. Go figure it out before you spread nonsense like this around the Reg.
@ aluminium goolies
The real issue is naked trampolining. It sounds like a set of clackers as you jump up and down.
Hey Barclays, how about you actually try to make some money through adding value to products and services instead of just swindling it from everyone else? You might only be taking a penny here, a penny there, multiplied by ten trillion, but the money you 'make' doesn't come from nowhere.
Every casino banking market manipulation gain is a loss on a balance sheet somewhere else. False profit from ill-gotten gains. The only loser is everybody except you.
Metro light touch makeover?
Nokia could be on the right track when even El Reg is going for a light touch Metroish-style makeover.
Square corners, big typefaces, grid layout. Looks much more, modern...
TPS is wank
The TPS is able to act only on unsolicited LIVE 1to1 calls. Pre-recorded messages are not covered by the scope of the TPS which is why it is completely crap and useless. Have you noticed how most of these unsolicited calls start with a recorded announcement with a list of options to speak to an operator?
The TPS is perfectly fine with this activity. Their remit needs to be changed to encompass recorded messages.
...or two square tables arranged adjacent to each other forming a rectangle, but not actually being a rectangle?
Fuck me! This is all so pathetic. I hope @pple burn all their cash hoard on lawyers, wankers!
Re: I also thought I was alone...
Me too. Retired my first gen MSI Wind last August for an end of line Acer Aspire One 753 @£240. A few more pixels on the display, and the slightly better gpu can now handle HD video with HDMI out to a TV if I need it. Figured I had better get it before netbooks ceased to exist. Not Win8 compatible, but who cares? Best of all, it's still too puny to run Minecraft so the kids won't touch it.
Re: The Ponemon Institute
Me too <:(
Maybe Apple won't buy their own shares back because they think they are a risky purchase? Didn't they announce that they intend instead to spend a fair wedge of their cash reserves on trying to develop something 'new'? Perhaps portrait TV sets for iPhone-captured video?
Personally, yeah, I think the Apple bubble looks like it's finally ready to burst, or at least is getting like an old saggy balloon with all the helium leaking out. Apple is beyond boring now. They've benefited from being 'in' for long enough. Hopefully they'll start to return to a market share more representative of their actual usefulness as a manufacturer of technology products for users who don't like to think too hard and can take them into a shop on the high street for 'repairs' when they unwittingly f**k them up.
I have a question
Which end is the front?
Pity the fool...
...that fails to keep an eye on his enemy.
Asked for his thoughts on Windows 8 and Windows Phone 8, the search supremo replied: “I have not used it.”
The arrogance of this man. Perhaps in a few years' time: 'All of your Googlephones are belong to us' while his back is turned, ignoring the feeble and irrelevant competition. Seismic shifts have happened before, Yahoo!, Apple.
... a flattened Panda Pop bottle!
They're not both in the same business.
I can see why YouView aren't bovvered. There's little chance of confusion and the benefit would all be in favour of Total Ltd anyway. I think the legal action is just about publicity.
Re: As they say...
That's not even security camera footage. I reckon those idiots filmed it themselves in iPortrait video format on their very own iDumb.
These tax-dodging multinationals could at least be sent a bill for tax credits paid out by the government to their underpaid workers. Why should the UK government subsidize their wage bills so they can make bigger profits to be hived off into an off-shore tax avoidance operation? Low pay means less tax & NI revenue for HMRC and more tax credits payouts. It increases our budget deficit.
Corporation tax should be paid to each country in which these companies operate according to the ratio in which revenues are generated. The current regime allows these multinationals to leach money out of economies which are active, spending, and generating revenues, causing a distorted picture of the balance of trade. There is no upside to our economy in allowing the current system to continue. Countries which balance their books by offering tax-dodging facilities should be held to account.
Maemo 5 ?
Your timeline completely missed out Maemo 5 and the N900, just sayin'.
iPhone user - Q. How did I know on the very first page?
I will not be rushing to trade in my iPhone - no shit, Sherlock.
"Yet as a camera, the complete lack of grip and the protruding lens so close to the left edge makes handling as uncomfortable and unsafe as any other phone. On the plus side, you can fire off the camera from a large button on the edge. In fact, once you turn the phone horizontally to use it as a camera, it is a pleasant surprise to find that commands such as the shutter release and the zoom lever are exactly where you expect them to find them on a compact camera."
Despite being a professional snapper, this chick instinctively holds a phone in portrait when taking a photo like all those other gormless iphoners.
*never seen before
I see no problem here.
*as defined by Apple
Re: The USA patent system is a disgrace
I'm willing to bet my full cooked English breakfast that Apple have a different team working on litigation than the one that works on spotting new technology and ideas coming into vogue so they can be 'invented' as magical new things for their followers to behold.
I can't be sure which team is the larger and best funded, however.
Re: FaceTime works better than Skype
Yup, for sure. I've seen the Apple adverts on TV and the quality of their iFacetime video calling looks fantastic, on a par with the HD video call quality I get on Skype desktop. iPotato owners must be so pleased with this amazing service. It's magic. One of my kids' friends tried video Skyping him on his iToy over WiFi and the video was shit. So on this evidence, iFacetime is better than Skype video.
Come to think of it, they also tried iFacetime with two iToys and it was still shit. Could the adverts be exaggerating the quality? I dread to think what it would be like over 3G.
Yup, right on cue the weather guys are now saying that the jetstream has finally stopped howling over the UK and is moving north allowing the Azores high to expand and let us in on a bit of that southern European summer weather at last.
If I recall correctly, the last mega CME was back in March before which we were all expecting a great summer with temperatures already being unseasonably high. Things turned noticeably wetter and cooler following the last 'event'. Perhaps there is something in it?
- Review We have a winner! Fresh Linux Mint 17.1 – hands down the best
- Vid Antarctic ice THICKER than first feared – penguin-bot boffins
- Antique Code Show World of Warcraft then and now: From Orcs and Humans to Warlords of Draenor
- iPhone sales set to PLUMMET: Bleak times ahead for Apple
- HTML5 vs native: Harry Coder and the mudblood mobile app princes